Good news. You just got an email from Disney that says you can write a single sentence in response to the email. Whatever it says becomes canon in the star wars universe.
What do you say?
Rey bangs Finn, has mixed race family.
The original trilogy and prequels are non-canon.
Stop making these shitty movies.
>>64404169
>>64404029
sorry i didn't see anything in your post about financial compensation?
Rey has flaws.
Episode VIII starts with 40 minutes of Rey eating out Luke Skywalker's asshole while he sprays diarrhea all over her face and her mouth as she eats it while Duel of Fates plays.
only the ewok battle in rotj is canon, all other star wars conent is non canon.
It was all a dream of a fat Star Trek nerd.
>>64404029
ur a faget
Every character is a figment of Sheev's imagination
>>64404169
Rey/Finn's mixed race boys grow up to be trannies, and get butt fucked by Kylo Ren's nazi sons, and the next trilogy is an epic about white nazi men plowing black trannies on a planet similar to Brazil
Lucas directs episode 8 and 9.
Padme Amidala was the most notorious slut on Coruscant; she would regularly expose herself to strangers on the street corner, fucking them in gross alleyways whether they recognized the Senator or not.
Only the prequels are canon
>>64404029
everyone in the star wars universe dies all at once.
nothing is canon
Canon isn't.
Luke Skywalker is secretly carrying Sheev's spirit which is why all of his jedi babbies died.
Jar Jar is a Sith lord
>>64404029
Prequels, canon it's not.
>>64404169
triggered
>>64404029
there will be no more entirely CG Aliens or characters and prequels dont exist.
Yaddle is revealed to be a hermaphrodite nympho whose horniness is key to destroying the Empire, somehow.
the mace windu's death-->ot was just a dream anakin had
Any fully CGI characters are now not canon.
>>64404029
TR-8R survives and becomes Snoke's other apprentice, which causes Kylo to become jealous because TR-8R, who is now Darth Storm has sweet black armor and cybernetics like Vader
>>64404724
>Darth Storm
Lucas pls leave
"TRAITOR!" replaces "I've got a bad feeling about this..." in all movies.
they find a planet called earth and its victorian times and doctor who is there andthen data says "end hologram" and it was all a hologram but it wasnt really it was a dream that a stormtrooper had and hes a little to short for a storm trooper and it turns out the storm trooper was luke.
>>64404791
I'll admit maybe it's not as good as Darth Windy or Darth North Wind.
>>64404029
several other jedi survive including but not limited to, Kyle Katarn, Jaden Korr, a fucking monkey, that cat thing that trained Han's son in the old EU, and an archeologist that looks like Brendan Fraiser.
> Or
All characters have dicks coming out of their forehead
>>64404029
I read that in the protocol droid voice.
>>64404029
Finn dies in Episode VIII.
It was all a dream, luke skywalker is actually a 10 year old sperg
>>64404859
Why not
>Darth Insanius
>Darth Icky
Michael Jordan is confirmed as Finns dad, and Space Jam takes place in the same universe as Star Wars.
snoke is luuuke
Episode VIII will be a two hour long leaked sex tape me fucking Daisy Ridley.
The twist is - good guys are the bad guys now, and the other way around.
>>64406202
>guys creating order and security are the good guys
What a twist
>>64404029
Only Episode I and II are canon.
>>64406202
This but with an extra gimmick:
The "Light" side has been sucking the good out of people, because the Force is truly neutral and requires a balance. And the Force is becoming more limited, so the effects are stronger. Every time Luke casts a healing spell, some non-Force-sensitive becomes an evil dictator.
Meanwhile, the Dark Side was actually making people good by sapping evil from the galaxy, and might have led to the foundation of the Rebellion.
Only KOTOR 1 is canon
the force is replaced by 4chan.
Boba Fett is fucking dead.
>>64404029
The force awakens isn't canon.
R2D2 is a Sith Lord and kills Vader and takes over and makes tbe death star actually useful
>>64404791
>Storms coming Ani.
What did she mean by this.
>>64406513
i don't understand why tfa is hated so much. i thought it was great.
>>64404169
This to tbqh.
>>64404029
Everything in Kotor 1 and 2 is canon.
>>64404317
fucking kek'd 6/10
>>64404029
Anakin isn't the chosen one, my wife's son is.
Leia is a futanari.
Or
The Plane Scene is canon and must be recreated with jedi and starships.
and then Jar Jar casually walks into the frame and trips over something!
XDD!!!
>Return Of The Jedi almost had a completely different ending. George Lucas toyed with the idea that after Luke witnesses Yoda's death, he puts his blanket on, proclaims “Now I am Yoda” and morphs into him.
>>64404029
Rey is the grand niece of obi-wan Kenobi.
>>64404317
That'll look great on a Shreddies box and Burger King cup.
>>64406583
Bad story telling, bad world building, nothing unique or wow, no suspense and sloppy finale. First act jakku was good thou.
>>64404029
The Dark Side wins.
>>64404029
Admiral Thrawn is canon again.
No woman
>>64406703
Don't make me choose!
Kit-Fisto is Snooke.
I would enjoy each and every moment of the consequent confusion among the fanbase.
>>64406710
>“Now I am Yoda” and morphs into him.
George really became a troll with ROTJ, could've gone pro with that angle.
>>64406852
So "Glengarry Glen Ross in space?"
I can live with that.
Anything from the extended universe that can fit into current star wars canon, is canon. (Ex: Han dying in the extended universe cant fit.)
>>64406907
Omfg someone needs to make "Ima da Yoda now" happen right FUCKING NOW
Dash Rendar and Shadows of the Empire is not only canon, but made into a movie like it was supposed to.
>>64404317
I think I'm retarded because this has me crying
Every Star Wars film going forward will feature George Lucas as an in-universe character called 'George Lucas'.
He will appear in every scene, coffee in hand, and all his lines will be ad-libbed.
The rest of the cast must improvise scenes and dialogue based around whatever George Lucas comments on.
>>64406703
You're a big guy to be a storm trooper
>>64406750
Barely anyone notices this due to low IQ and low attention spans
>>64407017
>forgetting his signature plaid blue shirts and dad jeans
Literally had one job anon
>>64404029
Luke Skywalker hates black people and would support the idea of killing them all.
>>64407017
go back to youtube ...
>>64404029
TFA isn't canon, the original 6 characters never die in any of the sequels, and Ewan returns as ghost Obi Wan with makeup and dyed gray hair.
>>64407027
For you.
>>64404395
Underrated.
Snoke is revealed to be Dexter Jettster and Watto is Rey's father
>>64404029
Reactor cores can't melt durasteel beams.
>>64404029
HBO Great Sith War series.
One word
Darth
Jar
Jar
>>64404844
10/10
>>64407041
no, in just don't see this. compare tfa with the other movies, maybe rewatch them. i think it's pretty solid actually.
>>64407205
Did you actually watch the movie? Don't be afraid to have a thought of your own, grasshopper
The plane scene is canon is the Star Wars universe and whenever someone dies they have to watch it forever in their minds, because it keeps looping.
>>64407261
yes, i did. i was pretty worried before the movie started. i watched the sequels the day before again.
>>64404029
Ray and prime Leia once had a 40 min farting contest
"The Kessel run" is now a star wars cannon phrase used to describe how far you can fly your ship whilst getting anally fisted by a wookie co-pilot.
Jar Jar really becomes the key to all this
every instance of a character saying the phrase "I've got a bad feeling about this" is redubbed to "Tickle my tits and call me Tony if this isnt about to get tasty".
>>64407505
>Ray
Liotta?
>>64404029
The First Council of Nicaea isn't canon but the Second is. Galactic schism go!
>>64404434
THIS SENPAI
H
I
I
F
A
M
>>64404029
Rey is Jar Jar's daughter
>>64406374
Didn't you just describe the plot of dragon ball gt?
It's revealed that jedis turn to the darkside because training younglings involves raping them.
Jar Jar is a Sith.
R2D2 is the strongest Jedi.
Luke is actually Obi Wan Kenobi's spirit possessing Luke's body.
Snoke is Boba Fett.
Rey is the daughter of Finn.
Episode IX ends with Lucas dying in his sleep from a Grand Mal seizure.
Time travel.
>>64404029
Never fucking email me again unless you're contributing to Star Wars
Luke turns out to have gone insane and the first he does is kill Rey.
Instead of the jedi they decide to purge all the jews in space, restoring balance to the force and they all lived happily ever after.
>>64404029
Picard and Riker clearly violated the Prime Directive on multiple occasions and should have been court-martialed.
>>64404029
Dexter will appear in episode 8 with 70 lines of dialog minimum
>>64404029
Snoke = Plagueis = Sheev
Episode 8 will be a biopic of Carrie Fisher and her role in fucking every single male behind the scenes (except lucas).
>>64406710
Episode VIII begins with Rey putting on Yoda's blanket, proclaiming "Now I am Yoda" and morphing into him.
Family threesome for 2 hours.
>>64404693
FUCK
>>64406841
I'd just put "All of the EU is canon. All of it."
Even the shitty parts. Just to piss off the super nerds.
Thrawn was great. Katarn was great. Rendar was great. Horn was great. Wedge was great. There was some fucking awesome stuff in the EU.
Sure, there was some shit like the Suncrusher, or Marka Ragnos, or the fucking Junior Jedi Knights books. But there was also some damn fine stuff.
Make a movie about dash rendar and make sure you dont fuck it up
>>64409051
Marka Ragnos wasn't so bad in the comics. It was just that stupid Jedi Academy game that made him silly. The one where you weren't Kyle Katarn, but some convenient Mary Sue and you never had a reason to shoot things ever because you had your own lightsaber and your best friend was some douchebag fuck that game so hard.
>>64404029
Without Lucas, it's fanfiction.
>>64409270
ROSH.
White slavers are the enemy in Episodes VIII and IX instead of the First Order
>>64404029
Chewbacca skullfucks Rey and pounds her cunt so hard she bleeds multiple times a day on the Millennium Falcon and eventually she has a half-wookie, half-human child who is the strongest force user in the history of the universe.
It was earth all along
>>64409647
you're just trying to make a monkey out of them
Yoda is rey.s father. This or finn gets this new force power that turns him intro a gender fluid monkey
Sheev gives births to babies, then leaves
Movie starts with the opening crawl and then instead of panning down to a planet it pans down to rey showering with luke while he presses her pert breasts against the glass.
We get to see the rest of Kylo Ren's Darth Vader collection including Watto frozen in carbonite, the japor snippet that he wears on a black cord under his clothes, mannequins wearing Amidala's royal outfits and Anakin's podracer that he speeds around in.
>>64404317
10/10 I'm fucking dying here nigga
Rey is Sheev's daughter and she does the spin at least thrice.
Work this character into the movie as a main antagonist.
>>64410065
nah, he's a fucking Jew crew member
Star Wars and Indiana Jones are now in the same cinematic universe
>>64407362
>The plane scene is canon is the Star Wars universe
I fell over laughing just from that part.
>>64408045
>>64407689
>>64407539
Im dead.
>>64410170
>>64404029
Part of Luke's training was allowing Yoda to fist his anus. When he was able to take it to the shoulder, his training was complete
>>64404029
Han molested his son and Rey is the offspring of luke and leia.
