Suddenly you wake up as Kylo Ren.
What's the first thing you do?
Post about it on Reddit.
bane?
> masturbate furiously
> banepost
> sleep
Use the force to jerk off.
Persuade the sexiest Gungan in the galaxy to have sex with me, à la Kilgrave. Snoke knows I have no other way of getting laid with my omelette face.
Destroy some monitors, while calling for guards.
>>64300303
That must be such a fun role to play
get ready for school
blast some linkin park thru my headphones on the bus
chill at my locker until the bell rings, show up to class late
spend more on lunch than mom says i can
tell teacher to step off when she asks why i didnt do my homework
go home and beat up my little brother with my force powers
>>64300303
Go on 4chan and post about how much I hate this movie and call anyone who disagrees with me Reddit or a shill.
>>64300303
Learn everything about the force from Darth Plagueis . Kill him, rey, luke, fin and the last of the Jedi. Bring balance to the force. Restore the empire build a super weapon that has no weakness. Live out the rest of my days and become a force ghost or just endlessly clone myself.
jack off in front of a mirror 2bh
>>64300303
The scenes with him just walking around the halls of the Starkiller base is my favorite thing in the movie.
>>64300760
>i get my headphones
>play music from vid related https://youtu.be/B1zCN0YhW1s
>i cut myself with my light saber while masturbating to security footage of Rey
tell Hux to not stop blowing up Republic aligned planets until they submit to the First Order. if he doesn't obey, I kill him and take command then issue that order.
tell Phasma to take TR8-TR and other elite stormtroopers to hunt and kill Rey and Finn.
I will suggest to Lord Snoke that we should kill as many people as we can until Luke decides to stop being a coward and come to us, where I, Phasma, TR8-TR and Lord Snoke will ambush him.
I then go to my office and meditate or practice my lightsaber moves.
>>64300403
>not using the force to persuade a qt to fuck you
nigga
>>64300760
the man knows how to strut
>>64300303
Have a threesome with that one female stormtrooper and captain phasma
Be happy that I'm no longer a shitskin and go on a nigger killing rampage to save the planet's future.
>>64300303
For fun's sake I'll say shortly after TFA.
>Still recovering from that fucking Bowcaster
>as the pain sends waves through my body, realize again that I've killed my father
>punch the wound again, because fuck that memory PAIN IS ALL THAT MATTERS
>try to get up
>fail
>realize there's a long road ahead until I catch up to Snoke and complete my fucking training
>he shows up in my bedroom anyway in Holograph form, lectures me about being beaten by a girl AGAIN
>comply with what commands I can comply with, drink some space orange juice, then try and get up again.
>make it 30 steps before I crumple and Hux sends another trooper to help me up
>wonder why my recovery isn't happening faster
>>64300303
KILL HAN SOLO DUH.
>wake up as kylo ren
>don't know anything besides what i saw in the movie
>storm trooper walks in on me struggling to put my mask on fully nude
>he freezes up
>s-sir
>I panic and force him inside and shut the door
>PRETEND I HAVE AMNESIA, TELL ME EVERYTHING
>he plays along
>now i know enough in relation to what im supposed to do around the star destroyer most days
>have him help me put my gear on
>"Thanks man"
>punch him to death because idk how to force powers yet
>see my lightsaber across the room
>force pull it
>accidentally activate mid air and slice my arm off
>FUCK
>kidnap a pilot
>"take me to the nearest planet with tendies"
>live on that planet for the rest of my life as a tendies farmer
>mfw
>>64300303
Listen to Linkin Park
>>64300303
>GAAAAARDDDDSSSS! GAAAARRRRRRDS!
Use the force to help out local law enforcement, start my business and name it Psych
kill my dad
>>64300303
Wail on some computers.
>Play with my new cross-guard lightsaber
>Swing it around a few times
>Proceed to accidentally stab myself
>>64300662
So pretty much what's going to happen anyway.
>>64300902
adam driver is already a qt you nig nog, use force to force suck my own dick
>>64301220
Too soon
>>64301260
lmao xD
>>64301260
Knowing you retards this is what would happen 8 times out of 10.
>>64301066
>Phasma
You'll need a stepladder
>>64301286
Too late
post on my tumblr account about white privilege then head to reddit and troll gamergate supporters.
>>64301106
>>64300403
>>64300902
>>64301106
>>64301260
My sides have left the galaxy far far away.
>>64300303
Find out if they keep any anxiety meds on this giant battlestation, try not to freak out on my way to the med bay.
>>64300303
Stroke Hux's hair as he lay next to me.
>>64300303
Use the force to make me a cup of coffee
>>64300303
Find that guy who yelled traitor and make him my main man.
Proceed to have adventures in space with my stormtrooper bro.
>>64300303
I find the Stormtrooper that fought off the traitor, and I make him the new Captain.
>>64301596
Except he got fucking killed.
>>64300303
listen to my mixtape to confirm the obvious
then go and do the opposite of what i know kylo would do which includes banging phasma
>>64300303
haircut
>>64301596
he got shot by Han Solo though.
>>64301665
>>64301677
No If I can turn back in time to save him with my sick dark force powers
>>64300303
Throw a fit
>>64300303
>Go home and mend things with parents
>Buy some zit cream
>Hope Luke will forgive you for the shit you did
>See if Poe is willing to fuck you
>>64300303
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
Strap Phasma in my sex chair and fuck her until she drips midichlorians out of all of her holes.
>cut my wrists with my lightsaber while listening my chemical romance
>use the force to masterbate
>>64301341
driver is like 6+ isnt he
>>64302845
/tv/ please
>>64302985
yeah, he's like half an inch shorter than her
find Captain Phasma and show her my "trash" "compactor"
>>64300303
Throw a childish tantrum which seemingly intimidates all of my stormtroopers but actually they're all laughing at me inside their helmets.
watch anime
Rape rey while freezing her with the force.
commit sudoku
>seduce hux
>cuddle and watch anime
>>64303502
This would be very hot if Phasma wasn't played by a chick with a manbody.
A shame cause facially she's actually pretty cute, but it's like the only feminine thing about her, physically.
>>64303436
they're both 6"3'
>>64304026
Everything about her is hot, you're just a manlet afraid of tall woman.
>>64301260
but you're kylo ren you retard... you're not you.
and stop samefagging replies to your shitty post
>>64304052
Driver is 6' 2½
>be Kylo Ren
>Call up Luke
>"H-hey luke, know where any of your father's parts are again?"
>"No Kylo"
>"P-please? I need them"
>"What are you doing with my father's parts?"
>"I, uh, I masturbate with them"
>"What?"
>"Yeah, I, uh, use the force to masturbate using your dad's parts"
>"Goodbye, Kylo"
>"WAIT! At least tell me wher-"
>Dial tone
>Call Snoke
>No Response
>Masturbate with Vader Helmet
>Phasma walks in
>"Kylo! What are you doi-"
>"Nothing!" I say this as I hide the mask
>"Is there something you want to talk about?"
>"N-no"
pull the mask off for extreme painfulness
>>64303999
nice trips
>pic related
>>64300303
Jack it to old photos of my mother.
to be quite honest I'd probably start wailing on everything with my new badass lightsaber, screaming, and I'd go find Phasma and fuck her.
>Put on my official playlist(preferably Breaking Benjamin or Bring Me the Horizon)
>stroke Vader's mask
>>64300867
Okay, reddit.
>>64301093
What a fucking fag.
>>64300303
fuck bitches, get riches.
>>64304923
>>64304949
Absolutely autism.
>Fully submit to the dark side
>Study the history of failure of the Sith, comparing it's days as an empire to the rule of 2
>convince the first order to retreat and bide it's time, knowing the "resistance" won't ever make a direct assault except in defense.
>Develop a large fleet of super star destroyers rather than one super weapon
>reactivate the cloning program
>reactivate and/or establish new droid armies
>reach out diplomatically to the fallen republic to make peace
>when resistance disagrees call them out on wanting to take control of the galactic government
>increase support planet by planet by implementing large scale reforms using clones as workforce
>wipe out dissent with force but only to the letter of the law, establishing a "self-defense" policy
>overwhelm the resistance with numbers in the billions
>allow the Jedi to exist purely as a religious order to balance the force
>probably gotta kill Hux for being a nazi wannabe
>galaxy is a utopia, technology provides widespread ease of life while empire provides support, law enforcement and workers
>slavery outlawed
>Hutt clan glassed from orbit
>work on exploring and colonizing new planets rather than waging unwinable wars against insurgent Jedi
>Build wall
>peace in our time
>
>>64305060
inb4 yuuzhan vong.
>>64305135
THEY GOTTA GO BACK
>>64304106
There is no way of knowing this stop trying to be right god damn
>>64300303
Take whatever I want
>>64300303
Walk like this out of my chambers
