Lets talk about the best action hero in the history of cinema.
>A 7th-dan black belt in Aikido
>the first gaijin foreigner to operate an Aikido dojo in Japan
>accidentally breaking actor Sean Connery's wrist during production of Never Say Never Again
>He's a fully trained professional as a real-life sheriff for Arizona and Louisiana
>Professional guitarist/musician
>He's also known as an environmentalist, an animal rights activist, and as a supporter of the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso.
>Friends with Vladimir Putin
>Been in dozens of successful films
>>64291635
This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy went home,
This little piggy was in The Fast and The Furious,
And this little piggy goes direct to cable
>>64291635
Okay. Let's talk about him. Go ahead.
he got routinely punked by JCVD and 90% of his stories are fake
>Makes a cameo in South Park
>>64292323
Didn't he hide in a bathroom from him at a party once?
>>64291635
The NY mafia thought he was a pussy and laughed at him. Then he snitched on them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cUNU8GkMso
>>64292323
>90% of his stories are fake
>Actually believing this bullshit.
It's a myth. People like to bullshit and troll about Seagal.
>>64292492
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EAuLL9n42s
>>64292492
>Steven Seagal fucks up mid-process of the Glimmer Man movie to redeem himself and not killing anybody
>Fucks up production for this
Holy fuck Steven is badass
>>64293044
>have rifles
>still run right up to him
I love this guy's movies. What would be routine DTV action movies end up becoming ridiculous nonsensical bullshit because of him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoE-0jq7-cU
>>64291635
>and as a supporter of the 14th Dalai Lama
So he's a hippie retard
>>64291635
He personally trained units of the russian and serbian special forces too. He's legit
>>64292492
>His spiritual awakening disrupted filming process and stops killing people in the movie
Fucking KEK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMPEyfrurhM
All the actors who work with him think he's a joke
>>64293415
steven seagal is a fucking badass
All of the things you just said are false
He's a balding hack fraud and doesn't know how to fight for shit
He shows no emotion which is impressive for an actor, even an action star
Steven Seagal claimed he couldn't be knocked out
When Gene LeBell put him into a choke hold, not only was Steven Seagal knocked out, but he also pissed his pants and shit himself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0
Holy shit that's a massive plug job, but it took really well >>64293353 >>64293450
>>64291635
>accidentally breaking actor Sean Connery's wrist
Shouldn't that be a point against him being the best? Seems like you should be able to avoid mistakes like this if you are a great martial artist.
>>64293519
That's never been proven, stop spreading this fucking lie & fuck off back to reddit
>>64293548
> get heavy hairplug work
> still let yourself get monstrously fat
why bother?
>>64292492
How did he ever get a role after this
>>64293519
No proof just some meathead martial artists spreading false information. Nothing to backup your claim and nothing but rumors.
He's a trained professional and he's trained Serbian Special forces.
http://www.warriorzen.com/steven-seagal-training-serbia-troops.html
>>64291635
>7th-dan black belt in what is widely considered the worst martial art in the world; name one MMA Aikido fighter who's won anything
>a bullying asshole to Sean Connery just like he's a bullying asshole to everyone else
>Sheriff working the most famously crooked cop in America; biggest claim to fame was killing a bunch of chickens and a puppy while busting the wrong house
>terrible musician
>supports bullshit libtard things that all actors support
Reminder that he once claimed that he could kick Jean-Claude Van Damme's ass at a party and when Van Damme showed up he pussied out not once but twice. He's as bad a fighter as he is an actor. Fuck, I'd go so far to say he's the real life Mr. Satan, except Mr. Satan actually managed to win once in a while.
>>64292323
JCVD has a professional kickboxing career with a 48-4 record, he was a legend in professional fighting
Seagal has never had a professional fight in his life, all his 'fighting experience' is hypothetical defense
Aikido is a bigger joke than Krav Maga, it's a meme art form of nut punching, face slapping, and running away, that's why nobody in MMA uses either
>>64291635
Only stupid, mindless idiots would shit on him anyways because they can't think for themselves. Like Tom Cruise hate. Or Lucas. Or Jaden. Or Bay.
What is your favorite Steven Seagal character occupation?
Mine is professional thief-turned-archaeologist.
>>64293663
>DRUGS DUDE THIRD EYE OPENING MAN KARATE AND SHIT MOMS GUNNA FREAK!
>>64293674
>Reminder that he once claimed that he could kick Jean-Claude Van Damme's ass at a party and when Van Damme showed up he pussied out not once but twice. He's as bad a fighter as he is an actor. Fuck, I'd go so far to say he's the real life Mr. Satan, except Mr. Satan actually managed to win once in a while.
Source or it never happened.
>>64292492
he runs like a fucking fairy, and his reggae is fucking shit
dude is wack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkskuSXqUD0
>>64293682
Be more subtle and your b8 might work
>>64293682
>people don't conform to my opinions because they can't think for themselves
One good look at Steven Seagal, and you'll see him for the lying fraud he is. He didn't even make an effort at covering up his own bullshit, because he's not smart enough to do that.
>>64293703
>WarVet-Turned-Cop
superior.
ITT steven seagal desperately tries to run damage control
>>64293765
>Seagal
>run
>>64293663
>He's a trained professional and he's trained Serbian Special forces.
Neither of these are true lol
Serbian Special Forces learn Sambo, a derivative of Judo
Seagal is an Aikido faggot
Learn your styles nigga
>>64293765
hate all you want nerd steven is laughing at you now and he'll laugh at you in his next ascended life
>>64293726
>But I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in ’96 or’97, Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O’Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna… it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Who would win? I have to say I believe Van Damme was just too strong and Seagal wanted no part of it. That’s just my opinion.
That was a quote from Sylvester Stallone. Google it. Note that if this was a "he was a bigger man for walking away" thing, he would never have been badmouthing Van Damme in the first place.
Asshole was talking big and acted like a gigantic pussy when the chips went down.
The last good movie Seagal made was Under Siege.
But, he had a good run of some fun movies for a bit.
>>64293703
Diplomat turned detective-novelist.
>>64293878
>tfw will never attend a party at Sly's house in the 90s
>>64293836
>Serbian Special Forces learn Sambo, a derivative of Judo
And they also wanted to learn Aikido by Seagal himself.
Also here he is training actual Russian soldiers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYpOIQUVT7U
He's the real deal. period.
Steven Seagal is a humongus faggot.
He stands near Anderson Silva for a publicity shot and claims he 'trained him'.
He goes on a reality tv show with some deputies, then pretends he was a supercop Sheriff for 20 years.
He goes overseas and takes some publicity photos with Kim Jong Un and Putin at a celebrity ball, and pretends he's a "foreign diplomat" working for the CIA.
Dude is a fucking joke lmao.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF8sWDUZcSE
>>64293892
I think good's pushing it, but it's not like you go to Seagal for something that expands your mind.
tfw you have ck open
tfw you also cook
>>64293987
Under Siege was good. It might've been typical, but it wasn't bad.
>>64291635
So are the rumors of him fucking underage boys in Eastern European country's true?
>>64293941
those aren't soldiers, they are aikido students
stop lying
>>64293676
>>64293674
MMA is literally reddit: the fighting sport.
might as well have cited WWE.
>>64293941
Fucking lol.
Go to bed, Steven. You're your only fan.
>>64293941
Look at that fat fuck
Russian amateurs are whipping his ass
>>64293878
No this isn't even fucking true. Rumors went out of control. What happened was Van Damme was talking shit saying he was going to kick Steve's ass. Seagal is the right man and peaceful and didn't want to engage. It's living proof he had a spiritual awakening as shown here:
>>64292492
Every action star in hollywood is jealous of his success and a major threat to all evil everywhere.
>>64293978
this desu familia
shit actor too
>>64294039
>gets proven wrong
>NO I'M NOT WRONG BECAUSE THE PROOF IS LE REDDIT BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE RIGHT
It's time to stop posting. Seagal's a fraud, he was always a fraud, and he always will be a fraud.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvvlTn8Cvjs
Here he is as a sheriff. More proof than all of this Slyfaggot Stallone shit.
>>64293978
holy fuck, why did he do that? is he actually gary busey-level retarded now?
>>64294075
You're talking like you were actually there.
Steven.
Go to bed.
Why is he dubbed by some other guy in some of his movies?
>>64294153
He's always been that retarded.
Busey had to get his head fucked in a motorcycle accident to hit Seagal's level.
>>64294153
At least Busey has a legitimate excuse for being insane.
>Me want the poonani, see for make nice
>She want the buddy
>Him want the poonani
>And me know it nice
>That would be phat
>You can be my bow cat
>Nice ital breeze
>Bring you to your knees
>...
>We're jammin
what did he mean by this?
>>64293978
>Opinion of others as sources
>>64294152
why is the sheriff wearing 4-star general rank?
>>64294204
>mfw this is real
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v4-zYghodc
>>64294231
Obviously he's a 4-star sheriff.
>>64293978
>That fucking fake guitar solo
top kek
>>64293941
>photo-op with in some random russian gym
the guy is a fucking laughingstock
>>64294152
>Here he is as a sheriff.
>Vid shows him standing next to a sheriff
go to bed stevie, you fat piece of shit
>>64294296
Bullshit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-a_-g-6kvk
>>64294296
The only people as retarded as Seagal are his fucking idiot fans, and I'm only talking about the ones he doesn't pay to praise him.
>>64294039
MMA is the pinaccle of fighting, they have taken all the effective combat moves from every major fighting style, and repurposed them into the most efficient forms of combat on Earth
>>64291635
ANYBODY SEEN RICHIE?
>>64294343
how much money did he have to throw the dalai llama's way in order for them to declare that?
steven seagal
>master of various martial arts
>revolutionised cinema
>accomplished musician
>invented the pentatonic scale
>trained several armed forces
>friends with the most influential people on this planet
>skilled diplomat
>probably the best action movie actor ever
you
>posting on 4chan alone in your room
guess who wins
>>64294367
>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPrHCrZ1EZg
>>64292492
what if this turned Seagal into a real life serial killer? on a path to renew people's souls through death
>>64294224
he's taking credit for a front kick he learned "40 years ago"
there are no front kicks in aikido
>>64291635
That's not Arnie
>>64294204
Jesus fucking Christ seagal is a fag
>>64294407
>master of various martial arts
No, you're not.
>revolutionised cinema
No, you didn't.
>accomplished musician
Nobody's ever paid to listen to your goofy fucking nonsense.
>invented the pentatonic scale
You might have; I don't fucking know.
>trained several armed forces
No, you didn't.
>friends with the most influential people on this planet
You cannot be your own friend, and you're not that influential.
>skilled diplomat
You've convinced dumbasses you're special, so you've got that going for you.
>probably the best action movie actor ever
Jesus Christ I'm starting to believe it really is you posting, Steven.
>I'm communicating with Steven Seagal in this
very thread
>mfw calling him out on his bullshit
>>64294407
I'd win
Why is it that every aged martial artist who shows himself in public is fit but Seagal?It's because he's not a fucking martial artist.
Why was this fat hack allowed to make so many shitty flicks?
Like 95% of his trash is straight to video.
>all these autists ITT thinking Steven Seagal wouldn't kick the shit out of them
>>64293732
Jesus Christ I learned how to run like a man with a penis back in fourth fucking grade.
How does anyone think this idiot can fight at all? I'm starting to even doubt that he was even good enough to learn fucking Aikido.
>>64293941
how the hell this guy has so much money? He is barely a B- even C+ list actor
>>64294590
Jean is still in fantastic shape, and humble as ever, even though you just know he could still decimate every mother fucker in his path
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwnEpDmAceI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aztdMwYrF4k
>>64294630
>Not being a badass like Steven Seagal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Finm_tn8MPg
>>64294651
A fat autistic slappy lanklet wouldn't beat me in a fight anon
I'd punch him right in his fucking gorilla jelly gut and he'd shit his pants again, as is his trademark
>>64293978
>Is it true you choked out Steven Seagal, and is it true he soiled himself in the process
>well you can't criticize someone if they soil themselves because if they had a big dinner beforehand they might do that
absolutely savage
>>64294746
It's funny every damned time.
>>64294712
even his action scenes look fake as shit
>slaps the shotgun in a weird angle
>suddenly its rotated to where he can shoot it in the next scene
>>64294728
from your post alone I can tell you're not a martial artist
GOAT scene coming through
https://youtu.be/Bx4SvqWyZhc
>>64294792
>Aikido
neither he is desu
>>64294709
>Isometric work without machines
I need this shit in my life
>>64294788
Watch some of his aikido exhibitions from the past couple of years.
You will see some of his enemies fall the wrong direction, I guarantee it. If it came out that he paid for his 7th dan belt, I wouldn't even be slightly surprised.
>>64294859
Convict Conditioning's a good book, anon. Easy to find, too. It starts slow as fuck, but good Christ it's worth the time.
>>64294912
>Convict Conditioning
thank you so much anon, I am going to try this shit
>>64294884
that's because he's one step ahead
>>64294709
Difference between a man who practices what he preaches and some fat fuck who runs his retarded mouth and can't fight for shit.
>>64294989
Best of luck, anon.
>>64294367
But they'd all be destroyed the the things that are banned in MMA.
>>64293703
Commando turned chef
>nobody beats me in the kitchen
If you still think Seagal is a fraud you're a fuckin' retard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=356gZRNvfxY
Seagal can speak Japanese. Who's your desu now?
>>64295336
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeaugjlcC4c
Steven Seagal in a Japanese noodle commercial
Read it and cry, retards. Seagal is fucking GOAT.
http://www.spike.com/articles/u6a59c/the-top-seven-awesome-things-you-didnt-know-about-steven-seagal
>>64293978
that's me in every night club
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVVAkxMPj0Q
>>64295483
This.
Anon you will enjoy Seagal's Doc about the path to greatness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVOtlCnm3t0
>>64293676
You have no idea what you're talking about
The purpose of both Krav Maga and Akido is to disarm a situation and prevent it from escalating.
Both fighting styles are good for self defense because it allows you to disorient your attack and momentarily stun them while you escape or get a weapon
The reason they are not in MMA is because they are purely defensive styles.
>people keep pretending this idiot's worth pissing on
www.vice.com/read/steven-seagal-is-the-lamest-guy-ever
>>64295641
Aikido was just a way to make kids want to learn martial arts.
It's as much a fighting style as an attract screen is an arcade game.
>>64295791
>www.vice.com/read/steven-seagal-is-the-lamest-guy-ever
Reading a blatant hipster article from a hipster news site
>- Speaks four languages fluently (I'm unable to find any evidence of him speaking anything other than English made entirely of lies)
That's wrong. He can speak Japanese and Spanish and I don't know what the other languages are though.
>>64293878
>talks shit all night
>gets challenged by the guy he was talking shit to
>does the best thing he can
>fucks off somewhere he can't be found
JUST
U
S
T
>>64293732
this isn't what running like a girl is, this is running like a lanklet, which is what seagal is
when you're a lanklet like seagal your arms have no choice but to flail around like limp noodles
>>64295925
>can speak as much Japanese as literally any celebrity who's done a Japanese commercial
>can speak as much Spanish as your average Texan
He made up the other languages.
>>64295977
My roommate's Seagal's height and he doesn't run like a professional cocksucker.
>>64295925
>it's hipster therefore it's wrong
Sorry, anon, but Steven Seagal only ever had his height going for him. He's a shit representative of every talent he claims to have, which happens to be all of them.
>>64296078
there's a difference in being tall and being a lanklet, his arms are incredibly long hence him being a lanklet which is why his arms flail around
>>64293732
You're an idiot he runs lankily because he's so fucking tall. He's a massive 7'0 something there so he makes these big strifes. He doesn't even look like he runs like that.
>>64293353
he did not. he's paying people to state that he trains them some cool techniques so he will get attention and maybe even get hired by other people to actually train them.
maybe he even lures a shot at another american action movie so he can stop going east euro production
>>64296190
Any sources to back up your claim or are you just pulling shit out of your ass?
>>64295862
this.
how do I know?
try kung fu or chinese boxing
>>64296143
>literally doesn't have the strength to keep his arms still
>if he does have the arm strength he's too stupid to even attempt to learn how to run properly
>I-it's because he's too tall guys! Lanklets can't run good its not his fault!
>>64296301
>literally doesn't have the strength to keep his arms still
yes, thanks for literally defining a lanklet, next you'll tell me manlets are short like its some sort of new revelation
>>64292374
I think I pinched a nerve from laughing so hard. Tell me this is true.
>>64291635
aikido is a joke, like most traditional martial arts
his music sucks
dalai lama is just another toss pot religious nut
putin is the worlds supreme manlet
the under seige movies were great though.
>>64296364
I wouldn't doubt that one of the places he hid from Van Damme was a bathroom, but I'd like a source, too. There's already proof that he's been a huge pussy since the 90s. Stallone's got no reason to lie.
>>64296301
Anyone defending Seagal in this thread is trolling dude
>>64296269
google his mma stories. the fighters openly stated that seagal paid their managers some money and they had to say that seagal trained him a certain kicking technique.
furthermore I found stallone's statement on the matter of steven getting confronted by jcvd in the 90s
>But I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in ’96 or’97, Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O’Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna… it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Who would win? I have to say I believe Van Damme was just too strong and Seagal wanted no part of it. That’s just my opinion.
>"I can't get knocked out. It's impossible"
>immediately gets knocked out
>starts farting and shitting all over the place
It's like he really is one of us guys.
>>64294021
I think I read some rumor a year or so ago that he was accused of keeping some poor eastern european woman as a sex slave in his house
>>64294021
He'd have to actually overpower them, so I'd say it's false.
>>64295791
I like to imagine he just started opening fire on every single chicken there, ignoring everyon telling him repeatedly that they had the wrong house.
>>64293921
>They took his daughter. So he's taking them down.
You know this is basically the plot for the movie, show it to the moviegoers, save budget on the first act and the setting, just to have the whole movie be him wrecking shit non stop.
>>64293978
BASED
>>64291635
>pic unrelated
>>64294728
A person can't be fat and a lanklet. You're dumber than Seagal ffs
Isn't almost everything he claims about himself complete bullshit?
I mean does he even know any martial arts? Everytime people ask him to demonstrate something he always just does this weird little dance where he twirls his arms around without actually doing anything.
