>go see new star wars with falcon because I hear there's a millenial falcon in the film
>film ends and there was no falcons in it
>falcon gives me this dissapointed look the whole ride home

Anyone else feel fucking tired of having the cinema jester target you every fucking time you go to watch a movie?

He keeps stealing my cinema meals and fucking my shit up just for gags and everybody around me laughs at me. I cant even act mad because "its just a prank bro".

>like to bring falcon to the theater
>there's no falcon check room
>falcons not allowed inside theater

guess i'll leave my falcon at home

>scary part in flick happens
>falcon grabs onto my dick on "accident" again

shit hurts, bros

>>64153376
Everytime I buy the ticket the cashier whispers to my ear "you're the cinema jester, you're the cinema jester" like this happens every time. I wish they'd pick someone else but no it's always me.

>>64153491
Single?
You get to wear the jingle-jingle

>go to see Star Wars
>it's NO FALCON night
>someone doesn't turn off the rat doors
>movie starts
>rats released
>can't movie over screaming of those getting bitten
>run out
>leave date to fend for herself
>cry myself to sleep that night

>>64153491
do you not get your cinema club member card punched each time you're selected?

after you get chosen 8 times, you get a guaranteed week off from jester duties.

>go to cinema the other night
>confidently approach the boner inspection machine (5.75 so the mandatory 5.5 isn't really a problem unless it's cold or I have "stage fright")
>they've bumped it up to 6'
>can't turn around and have to go through the humiliation of failing and being spanked

oh well, didn't want to see Peanuts that much anyway

>he doesn't sit in the avian free cinema seating area

glorious patrician heated seating, the popcorn mandrill feeding hot buttered kernels to me like grapes to a roman emperor you plebs are missing out, only downside is the NSP compliance after performance