>Slytherin announced as winners of house cup
>Out of the blue dumbledore awards an arbitrary number of points to Hermione , Harry, Ron , and Neville causing gryfindor to win
>Slytherin on suicide watch
>>64100016
And then Slytherin rekt Dumbledore's shit later on, there is justice
>>64100016
JK Rowling is a fucking hack
Are you surprised? Harry Potter was easily one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King
>>64100986
Your writing intimidates me. What's your academic background.
>>64100986
>this stretched his leg bullshit again
Obvious favoritism from that old fruit
Griffindor's are a bunch of refbabbys they wouldn't have won the Hous Ecup without Dumbledor.
Did Rowling mention in one of her interviews who even won House Cup in later books?
Also, why it is Gryffindor or Slytherin who are the main contenders if it's Ravenclaw who got all the smart kids and house points are awarded for correct answers during lessons?
>>64100986
>the stranger god tier
>hemingway and orwell high tier
>to kill a mockingbird shit tier
>literally you
>tfw no seeker
Who should we draft this year fellow Ravenbros?
>>64101345
>them apples tier
>>64101224
That was written by Harold Bloom
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2003/09/24/dumbing_down_american_readers/
Both Slytherin and Gryfindor were both cheats
>Snape and Dumbledore each awarding both houses for bullshit
>Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw rarely expanded upon other than being the houses for the literally who characters
>Rowling goign back and edititng her work, also made Dumbledorer a fag because "progressive lmao" instead of being an asexual wizard who don't need no witch
>>64100986
>No War and Peace
>Atlas Shrugged not in shit tier
>No Yevgeny Zamyatin
nice meme image
>>64100986
>Ayn Rand
>Good writer
Nice one.
>>64101451
>>64101345
It's a picture from Quentin
>>64101357
Cho's not the problem, its our beaters.
Jason Samuels plays like he's afraid of the bludger and Duncan Inglebee hasn't been the same since he broke his wrist against Hufflepuff last season.
>>64101224
>>64101229
>>64101345
>>64101451
>>64101469
>stilling getting baited this hard
eke
She did nothing wrong.
No wonder they were the bad kids.
>>64100986
>every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
ah so the author of that pasta rant is one of those "i keep my thesaurus by my side at all times" writer shits
This scene was so cringe tier.
Who the fuck announces winners and then just says
"BUT WAIT YOOURE NOT THE WINNER THESE OTHER FUCKS ARE HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE FAGGOTS"
Guess I shouldn't expect much from a preschool book series.
>>64101666
>Who the fuck announces winners and then just says
>"BUT WAIT YOOURE NOT THE WINNER THESE OTHER FUCKS ARE HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE FAGGOTS"
>tfw we dynasty now
rest of the houses are you even trying?
>>64100986
>yfw everything on your high tier is middlebrow horseshit
>>64101629
are you really trying to defend JK Rawlings pitiful writing?
You don't need a thesaurus to have a command of locution better than a hack like her.
>>64101803
>locution
hahahah thesaurusfag
>>64101803
>I think using obscure uncommon words in place of everyday equivalents makes me sound intelligent and sophisticated
Harold on suicide watch
Reminder that she regrets pairing Hermione with Ron and wishes she paired her with Harry instead.
>>64101912
well her and harry are the only black otherkin at wizard school
>>64101912
Probably works out better that way
>>64101912
Also Hermione is black.
>>64101912
cant write Ron as a cuck if hes paired with Hermione
>>64101342
Clearly there's a ravenclaw handicap and badgerfags don't get points from classes
>>64101722
underrated post desu
reminder that Harry never did anything of importance because he always got help from someone else
>>64100986
elder b8
>>64102506
He did fight off the beast of Slytherin at age 12 with no help other than a sword and a bird, and he did ward off an army of dementors at age 13. He was also a bomb ass broom rider and blew the fuck out of the other seekers besides Cedric.
>>64101912
Harry actually comes out ahead, though, because Ginny turned out to be smoking hot. This is not well reflected by her butterfaced actress, but in the books she's a 9/10 at least.
>>64103496
WUZ
>>64103689
UPSET ABOUT PLEB TRASH AND TOO SCARED TO POST ON /lit/ BECUZ THEY CALL US OUT FOR HAVING SHIT TASTE IN FILM AND BOOKS
>>64103710
kek
>>64100986
>the stranger
>>64103086
I'm pretty sure Ginny came out of fucking nowhere and became the best seeker there ever was for some reason.
Reminder
>>64104150
Where's the original? Avatar shouldn't be near that list
>>64101345
>people hating based papa Hemingway because of his masculinity complex
He was forced to crossdress as a kid, give the man a break.
>>64101342
Take a teacher like Snape who never awards points but only deducts them. And he hates smartass knowitalls like Hermione.
Now give him an entire classroomful all in the same house. Ravenclaw would be in the negative hundreds of points on day 1.
>>64104150
>Citizen Bane
Everytime
>>64100986
>great gatsby anywhere but shit tier
at least you put mockingbird in its rightful place though
>>64101629
>I keep my thesaurus by my side at all times
What?
>>64101803
>command of locution
>>64103099
>in the books
You mean in your imagination, right?
>>64100016
didn't this literally only happen in the first film?
But muh equal opportunity
>Expecting women to write good fiction
KEK
>>64103099
but in real life
>>64100016
You know thats that bull bull right there.
>>64100016
Why is Draco such a qt
>>64106793
>>Expecting women to write good fiction
Women write good fiction all the time.
Just ask all the poor bastards serving prison time for false rape accusations.
>>64107299
>>64107299
Ahahaha hella fukken epic m8 upvoted and shared on tumblr ;)
>>64107033
His mom was pretty cute in a ballbuster way 2bh
>>64106793
>6/10 of the best books ever are written by women
Misogynists BTFO
>>64107367
>the Animal Farm was good writing meme strikes again
It was the least subtle metaphor in the history of fiction
>>64107367
>OotP over based PoA
>>64100986
>üf
what did he mean by this?
Why is slytherin the best house.
is ravenclaw the only house that can compete with it what does ravenclaw offer anyway
>>64101451
>Rowling goign back and edititng her work, also made Dumbledorer a fag because "progressive lmao" instead of being an asexual wizard who don't need no witch
>going back and editing
Source?
>because "progressive lmao"
See above.
>an asexual wizard who don't need no witch
And instead he was just a guy that liked Grindelwald for a bit and then never had a love life after as far as we know.
>>64107448
That's correct though.
>>64107367
>Twilight not no.1
>>64107367
What the fuck?
That's a shitty list all but directly aimed at teenage girls.
>>64105168
kinda odd that hermione didn't get placed in ravenclaw then
>>64107349
>tfw will never be able to have a 3some with her and her sister
I used to think the schoolgirls were the best but I am prefer the milfs now.
>>64100915
indubitably. don't females have any idea how bullies work?
>>64109201
Because she wanted to join Gryfindor , and the sorting hat takes preference into consideration
>>64109201
>>64110302
Which I btw think is really retarded, but it's probably just a result of terrible writing...
>>64110226
god helena bonham carter pulls off that crazy look well.
she's so hot
>>64110471
Is it because she actually looks like a crazy person solely based on physical features
Of Tim Burton's movies were made incarnate with two human beings it would be her and Johnny Depp
>>64100986
Very true, children should know that reading books shouldn't be about having fun!
My child is only allowed to read crotically acclaimed classics, and is all the better for it!
>it's a /tv/ discusses children's movies thread
also,
someone posts >>64100986 and every damn time countless faggots fall for it
>>64100016
It's what they deserve.
Why they don't just take all the Slytherin's to the gas chamber right after sorting is beyond me. All of them are blatantly future dark wizards waiting to happen.
It's like they wanted to give the Death Eater's fresh recruits.
>>64110794
wizards are a bunch of libtards. Not all Slytherin's are Dark wizards, but all dark wizards are slytherin's
If you could choose your house, which one would you spend 7 years in?
Griffindor: Tower
Ravenclaw: Tower
Hufflepuff: Basement. Entry from a barrel, near the castle kitchen.
Slytherin: Basement. Underneath the lake
>>64111180
Either Gryfindor o Ravenclaw, problem is that Rowling is cucking Raveclaw(and Hufflepuff) out of everything in the story, so under her reign it'd probably be gryfindor that would be best to be in
>>64111242
I agree, Hufflepuff would be full of le happy puffles, it has the highest population, because it accepts everyone. The most diverse and accepting house.
Ravenclaw seems nice, but to get in you need to answer a Riddle to get in, every single fucking time. It could become really annoying very fast.
Probably the most anti-social house, considering everyone is there to study.
Griffindor obviously is comfy as fuck, with a very warm aesthetic.
But honestly Slytherin looks comfy as fuck too, it's probably very cool inside, being under the lake and all.
Very nice with the green lighting in the darkness.
Too bad it would be full of edgelords.
>>64107442
and does subtlety make a good metaphor? or is the point of a metaphor to be obliviously clear with what the message is.
>>64111457
My point is that blatantly hamfisted literay are treated like the epitome of 20th century literature because the Soviet Union wad bad. The Soviet Union sucked, to be sure, but that doesn't make Animal Farm less of a work of hackmanship.
>>64111581
Okay then To Kill a Mockingbird must be DQ'ed as well because it's 20th century literature about civil rights, and sure civil rights and equality was important, fucking hundreds of years ago.
