STAR WARS, the force awakens is the most disappointing thing since my son!you read it in his voice
>my son
Yeah... right. "your" son.
STAR WARS, the force awakens is the most disappointing thing since my wife's son!
Can't wait for the edit that shows every criticism RLM made about the prequels applies to TFA as well. Hypocritical shills.
>knowing what his voice sounds like
Hey Reddit.
>>64064686
>the most disappointing thing since my wife's son
Ftfy
COME ON ITS 2015
>>64064686
Epic post, reddit
GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY XD
I could actually see him making a "wife's son" joke.
>something born out of money grubbing whores that wasn't made from the "real" father but it wasn't as disappointing as my real son. Sure he overcompensated and kept trying to please me, but at least he tried
>>64064686
Whose voice?
>Implying RLM will ever talk about this movie again
>Implying implications
What's your favorite line from Plinkett reviews?
>>64064748
Yeah like all those criticisms where Plinkett showed all of the boring senate meetings, or the cartoon rabbit stepping in poop, or the part where the movie had 4 separate ending scenes all happening at the same time with completely different tones that just turned into a confusing as fuck mess.
can't wait.
>>64064917
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du0buC_H0CQ
>>64064917
ANAKIN KNEELS BEFORE MONSTER MASH
>>64064917
>They should've been helping instead practicing for their gig at Universal Studios.
>>64064917
>They could have beam Picard right back up after they got Geordi and say "Suckeeeeers"
By the way, if you haven't yet, watch the Star Trek Generations review part 2. He makes a good point about how the plot is stupid, and it's funny because the same exact thing happens in TFA and he doesn't mention it.
>>64064917
>If they made a movie about when my dead wife appears at the foot of my bed in the middle of the night whispering, “Revenge…Revenge…” it wouldn’t be called “Dollar Store Cashier Wife,” it’d be called “Fuck Off, Ghost!”
>>64064917
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE XDD
>>64064928
Something upset you JJ?
>>64064686
literallywhose?
He's a misogynist, he tortures and murders women.
>>64065290
Yes this fictional character is very problematic.
>>64065193
He should do more reviews of stupid little movies like that.
There's no need to have some huge trilogy to criticize, even the Cop Dog review was hilarious
>>64065290
he's a character, and appeals to reddit sensibilities
>>64064686
No anon he loved it despite it being soulless and derivative. It was very tolerant and progressive and mike wants dem SJW bucks now.
>>64064740
I remember this thread. Is it a new meme?
>Star Wars: Episode One
>is the biggest disappointment since my son.
>Star Wars: Episode Seven
>is the biggest surprise since my dead wife got into heaven.
>>64065364
Yeah SJWs love chingchong speak like in that recent Best of the Worst episode
>>64064903
I think they'll release a Plinkett review the week before Episode 8 releases to cash in on the hype as well as have a different perspective on the flick since it would be 2 years after the fact rather than 2 hours.
>>64064757
>>64064773
Hellooooo my fellow redditors! Why are you pretending like you don't browse the site? The community misses you two.
>>64065032
What exact same thing?
>>64064917
>George Lucas didn't ruin my childhood.... fucking Polio did
►Poke Digimon shoots the very Stormtrooper that elicits the brain wipe of FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87
►Digimon cracks jokes seconds after his friend (spiritual mentor?) is slain before him; seemingly more interesting in a stationary laser bolt than anything else
►Gey is a skilled parkourist, but runs like a drunk octopus on land
►Fellow scavenger relinquishes seemingly valuable B8-Ball without as much as a 'WTF'
►Destitute, seasoned scavenger, Gey won't give up a droid she just came across; even for orders of magnitude more than it's worth
►"Junk" MF has been sitting there for time immemorial without anyone recognising it
►Clearly just "junk" to Gey's, she can fly the MF better than Han
►Never having trained in gunnery, FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 is making Death Star trench run -like shots in seconds (EA Aim Assist™?)
►Gey knows the MF's workings inside-out, despite not even recognising the ship as the MF
►Gey / FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 do not recognise Solo and co., despite knowing of all their legendary feats (pre photography era?)
►Racist vagina dentata balls eat everything... 'cept nigs
►...Gey randomly bashes a CCTV console to save FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 (the Farce?)
►Rey thinks Luke etc are "myths", yet has Luke’s helmet, lives in an ep.V era AT-AT, has a Luke doll... (Alzheimer's?)
►After all their travails, our "her0", FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87, has no interest in staying... until he sees Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™ shoot its wad and drags his knuckles back for an 'I told you so!'
►FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87's one apparent 'skill' is using a blaster rifle, yet he does not use it to arrest Gey's capture by Gaylord; only running and hysterically chimping out
►Gey not only blocks Gaylord's Force interrogation, but reverses it, mid-mind-fuck
>>64065733
►Gey 'learns' the Jedi mind trick with no previous exposure to it, on her third checkpoint continue
- FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 is used as the linchpin for the Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™ terror attack without his credentials being even queried
►Not minutes after reuniting with Solo, after years (decades?) estranged, Leia's first action is to send him on a suicide mission
►FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 being found out as an effluent ape, Solo continues with the 'plan' hinging on him irrespective, endangering the entire Rebel hegemony
►Chewbarebacker commits first cardinal sin of warfare - splitting up - sending Solo to his effective death
►...He then fails to cover Solo from 'the high ground', Analkin
►Gaylord's sixth sense for faggot-cock spans the entire, planet-sized Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™, but not a few meters next to / behind himself
►With Gaylord clearly possessed, Solo - now fully cognisant of the Force and its wiles - martyrs himself
►Chewbarebacker lets off a Parthain shot, as if to exonerate himself from his complicity with Leia in Solo's murder
►Perhaps worse, FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 - adamant "no victory can be had" against TFO - takes no action from “the high ground” either
►FaggotNigger-Age:21-IQ:87 holds his own with a lightsaber against Gaylord, only to have his spinal cord cauterised, leading to certain, instant death (he was rendered unconscious instantly -- spinal cord cut)… ‘cept at Disney World
►After everything that was risked for the MacGuffin (Luke) once found, his acquisition is entrusted to a PTSD suffering Wookie and an unknown, tomboy dyke
►That 'Lost' final scene... (kek)
>>64065761
►Gey's lightsaber visions have her toddler self being handed over to that unscrupulous scrap dealer-cum-pedo on Jakku -- are her parents / guardians were Filipinos?
►X-Wing laser blasts cause literal craters, sending squads of Stormtroopers flying, then immediately switch to 'stun' and snipe a ST's left shoulder
►Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™ is comparatively even more vulnerable to destruction than the previous two iterations -- the entire, planet-sized contraption seemingly wired to cascade-explode from a couple of choice laser blasts and sachet of C4 (...puts a whole new spin on 9-11!)
►the Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™ 'laser' is a homing missile, comprised of smaller 'missilelets'
►"Suns" (kek) are drained to instantly power / create said homing 'missilelets'
►The "Sun's" (kek) heat would melt through a planet if contained in the head of a pin (fact), yet a suburb-sized beam of it can be sucked into the Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™
►Why fire the Death Star: Bigger and More Bad-ass™ if drains "Suns" (kek) -- a process that would end life in the pertaining solar system in minute anyway? (see: -273.15°c / 0°Kelvin)
►C-3PO can no longer calculate statistical probabilities
►R2-D2 is super-encrypted and cannot be accessed if it PMS's; no matter how important its continuing functionality is
►Force never used during Lightsaber ‘flail-offs‘, only preceding them and elsewhere; despite the combat itself only even remotely qualifiable through constant Force presence (Why not shut off the opponent's weapon? How can Gey fight at all unless some 'Force god mode' is presupposed?)
►'Opus MIA no.7', John Williams
►Did not use Lucas's vision for Lucas's story; rather a Disney World's, some hack Jew's and some SW iconography
>>64065796
►Gangly, forceps-faced emo cast carries on legacy of most iconic bad guy in film (...we miss you, Hayden)
►No-name Brit nig cast as role model for Amerinigs, through his ineptitude, cowardice, lechery and shitty ghetto accent / mannerisms
►Flaming feminazi, Mary Sue dyke = Luke v2.0
►Supreme Hobbit Smeagol
►Von-Saydow -- butchered
►Isaac -- mortified
►Mof Tarkin -- copy-pasted / Goebbles-fied
►Lightsaber combat -- Disney Infinity-fied
►Stormtrooper clones + 1
►Phasma -- Fett v[agina]3.0 minus screen time / reason to exist
►Dog fights -- vidya cut-scenes
►Rebels -- "Resistance" to own hegemony
►“The First Order” in incompetence and retardation
►Bagel-addled pacing
►First-year hack editing
►One character / actor who single-handedly averted mass cinema walk-outs / shootings and who cost more than msot film budgets to cast -►killed off
►One character / actor 95% wanted to see -- MIA
►One character / actor whose presence relied solely on [her] looks -►grotesquely aged, suffering throat cancer and a pointless adjunct
►Pointless, insulting, embarrassing, cipher character fan service up the wazoo
►Star Worse: A Not-So-New Hopeless Ep.VII
►WHAT - THE - FUCK - WENT - SO - HEINOUSLY - WRONG, MOSCHE?!
