Review TFA in one short sentence.
I'll start:
"TFA is a weak movie because it insists upon itself."
>>63913004
"It was a good film, just not a good star wars film."
>>63913004
a predictable cash grab that normies will love that has all the elements of the avenger movies to make retards squeal
It's a good movie, good characters and closer to the OT than the PT was, even though it maybe was a bit too action oriented.
>>63913004
"It's an amalgamate of good ideas that don't really make a cohesive story when put together."
G L I B
>>63913004
"the director of TFA can't get over his own style and it shows"
>>63913004
>Back to Family Guy
>>63913034
>tumblr
>>63913004
It was shallow and pedantic.
My stepson loved it, finn was his favorite character
Good character-drive adventure movie with some flaws
"Needed more than just one minute of Luke".
7/10 that should have never been made.
Plot convenience galore but still fun
>>63913004
"Girl Power saves the day"
a pedant's anachronism
"TFA is like its villain; obsessed with something it fails to imitate."
>>63913356
Found the Redditor!
>>63913451
i hate these tryhard reviews so fucking hard
it's like they're summing up a children's film like they're writing for the new yorker or something
>>63913004
"Do you remember this/that: The Tryhard Movie"
Three unoriginal movies jammed awkwardly together isn't as good as one original movie.
>>63913451
Pretty good
>>63913483
you would hate the news then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpYteH_-1KY
related
>>63913483
Have you read that one black guy's review who gets spammed on /tv/?
Forgot his name but he sounds like the most pretentious person on the planet
>>63913004
"SW:TFA is a flick mainly concerned about being a Star Wars film"
>original star wars is a predictable boring shit
>everybody likes it because of the samurai bullshit
>new sw is literally the same movie
>le it was a bad star wars movie
>>63913004
Best star wars movie since ESB.
>>63913004
good movie that has the advantage of enraging autists
>>63913552
>hating our LITERAL guy Armond White
>>63913603
>I use big words and try to express a thought in the most complex way possible, everyone bow before me
>>63913004
J.J. sure can write some good fanfiction... but it's still fanfiction.
>>63913577
same movie
minus all the charm and white protag's
It's ok.
>>63913004
S'alright.
>>63913004
>Le patrcian family guy viewer
"Nothing but a glib facsimile"
Hollow, sugar rush entertainment for the "plugged in" brainless masses ala Guardians of the Galaxy and The Lego Movie.
"/tv/ can't handle a strong female lead."
Greatest antagonist Star Wars has ever seen, shit light saber.
>>63913658
>professional writers should sacrifice their vocabulary so I can understand why they didn't like my star wars movies targeted for 12 year olds
"A Black guy as a lead, AND a strong, independent female jedi? Progressive."
Star Wars VII Finally comes full circle and becomes the Mobile Suit Gundam movie it always dreamed of without the robot samurai.
>>63913004
"Ultimately, TFA feels very small and inconsequential".
>>63913004
TFA is weak movie because it tried to blend OT into one movie.Before they meet Han Solo is New Hope, when Kylo Ren took Rey it's lowest point or Empire Strikes Back, Starkiller assault is Revenge of Mary Sue
>>63913004
Shut up Stefan.
Good Low Inspiration Brew
The camera work was a hyperactive mess and the new girl is an unlikeable marysue in the worst kind of way.
>>63913004
The plot and the characters were weak and forgettable, its not worth the cash and franchise revival.
>>63915704
Phasma had the whole Boba Fett arc in one movie.
>>63913004
It was very good
Dont expect a star wars flick to be high art and you'll have fun.
>>63913004
It fails to get into the high ground.
Decently executed fanfiction.
It's the most 5/10 movie of all time.
>>63915804
I expected fucking progression, stakes, sense. Not Jurassic World. What made Jurassic World work to me wasn't working in context of Star Wars, war is a bit more serious business than dinosaur theme park.
>>63913004
Space Balls Sequel
>>63913422
This honestly
G-GUYS!
I'M LOOKING FOR A JEDI MASTER. I HAVE FOUND A PIECE OF THE MAP LEADING TO HIM.
WHERE IS THE REST OF THE MAP I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE?!!
HOW WILL I FIND LUKE SKYWALKER GUYS?
PLS HELP
A film that already won its audience with its name, but it was shit desu.
>>63913004
A glib facsimile
>>63915913
Really? It says when they see it the first time that it was a map leading to an unknown system. In your example, is more similar to showing only a minor street in LA
https://youtu.be/xCKc-K_aj6k
>>63913004
"SHE ESCAPED, GUARDS, GUARDS!"
>>63915913
About Star Trek Beyond
>On the original draft by Orci, Pegg commented that Paramount "had a script for Star Trek that wasn't really working for them. I think the studio was worried that it might have been a little bit too Star Trek-y." For his role as the primary screenwriter, Pegg had been asked to make this new film "more inclusive", stating that the solution was to "make a western or a thriller or a heist movie, then populate that with Star Trek characters so it's more inclusive to an audience that might be a little bit reticent."
This is the kind of people in charge of the SW movies now. I'm surprised the SW7 movie turned out to be as "good" as it was.
>>63915955
>an unknown system
which is fucking stupid.
Also they could know the position by looking at the surrounding systems which are clearly at the map.
>>63916121
>This is the kind of people in charge of the SW movies now.
No it's not.
>>63916123
Maybe it wasn't enough. We're talking about a fucking galaxy.
Honestly I don't think they wouldn't have thought of that anyway
A glib facsimile.
>>63915955
>[
unknown system?
are you retarded?
it's were was build the first jedi temple...so it was in a known part of the universe....
as already said all the had to doo was check the surrounding systems...
>>63913004
TFA is best seen by shallow millenials and post-millenials who don't give a shit about the original stuff and just want something new
>>63913004
I need one word: flick
>>63913004
"Rey is fit."
>>63916186
It is. You think that kind of corporate exec bullshit is limited to a single company? No, Disney is full of them too.
>>63913004
Reheated regurgitation reinvigorated the retarded rodentia.
It was a soulless. empty shell. You can easily stuff all of its garbage into it and throw it into the nearest volcano.
>>63913004
A new hope changing names of characters and places
Hella fuckin epic
Silky fax machine
>>63916324
Except that 7 is tonally way more similair to the OT than ST 2009 is to the shows and older movies.
You're talking shit.
Also, 'the same kind of people' is such a vague statement it could comply to anything.
TFA was written by Kasdan ffs.
>>63913004
"awfully paced with unbelievable character relationships, otherwise ok."
I didn't like it.
Better then the prequels and RoTJ
>>63913004
"TFA made me happy"
>>63916766
nice bait
>>63913123
So it's very much similar to episode 3?
it's a star wars movie produced by disney and directed by jj abrams that everyone hoped in vain wouldn't turn out like a star wars movie produced by disney and directed by jj abrams.
>>63913004
good character driven adventure
death star 2.0
A well made film - it is very well done; however, it feels wholly unnecessary, and it feels like it shouldn't be seen as canonical or in communion with Lucas' Star Wars films.
>>63913004
WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS:
-Finn's character could've been performed by literally anyone. He was depicted as blonde with blue eyes in the concept art.
>Instead they choose a black guy just because he's black.
-Start Wars universe has had strong female characters. Bastila Shan and Meetra Surik for example.
>Normies be like "muh female role model, best mobie eva"
- We're expected to believe Rey survived all those years by her self as a scavenger on Jakku? Who was she left with? And why weren't they even mentioned once?
- Rey and Finn find the Millennium Falcon; They are almost immediately found by Han Solo. Han Solo is also Rey's uncle. And Han's son is the evil bad guy who also happens to be Rey's cousin.
>Because plot
-Poe Dameron, the rebel's best pilot. Survives the crash. He "woke up alone, at night, in the sand". Somehow made it back alive. No explanation needed it seems.
- Random fatass Greg Grunberg as a rebel pilot.
- Luke's light-saber was conveniently kept in storage inside an unprotected inn, in the same planet the rebellion were also hiding, that was also not targeted by the New Death Star's giant laser.
>Again Plot
-They have another Death Star. This time it's a planet and it's way bigger. Entire Order is there defending it. Gets destroyed by 7 rebel fighter class ships.
>Re-used same old bullshit. And just plain moronic.
>Storm-Troopers are still retarded cannon fodder.
>They introduce "Phasma", the strong female Storm-Trooper Leader.
>Yet we never see her fight and she's just there for "reasons" / "lower ma shields, bitch".
And the last one:
Han Solo can tell when someone is lying, he can read people's faces. He's a master tradesman and an excellent bullshiter.
Yet he can't see what's coming when he decides to have a chat with the son he hasn't seen in years?!
He doesn't even have a backup plan, like pocket sand to the eyes?! Or a hidden blaster on his back pocket?!
> Movie was 6.5/10
It was an entertaining "meh"
>>63913004
Disgusting tumblrtard pandering
>>63913004
Rey is a mary sue
>>63918138
>one short sentence
nice reading comprehension
"TFA is a fine vehicle to sell Star Wars toys on."
It's fine
It was more Star Wars-y than the prequels.
>>63913004
>it insists upon itself
Meaningless rhetoric, worthless, not a good review. I give your review a 1/10.It insists upon itself.
>>63918210
English is not my main language.
>>63913004
The one single thought I had right as I left the cinema was:
'This was a glib fascimile.'
>>63918190
DING DING DING
This right here. But don't all Jedi suffer from this?
>>63918138
>Instead they choose a black guy just because he's black.
Or they chose a black guy because he was fucking good.
>Who was she left with?
Wasn't she left with that big fucker who gave her shit rations for parts?
>>63913451
Underrated comment. This perfectly sums up the movie and it's flaws. Well done.
Glib fascimile
>>63918340
He has British accent and speaks in a well educated manner. I'm not bashing on him just because he's black. It's just obvious that he got the role because of his skin, not his acting talent, which is a shame.
I don't think Luke would leave his daughter alone with that one. That alien just traded rations with everyone, I don't think they were friends.
>>63913057
thus
>it insists upon itself
what did you mean by this?
Good characters in an unimportant plot with little exposition.
Lousy score, poor casting decisions, paper-thin plot.
>>63918550
That it's a glib fascimile
What is not copied, is just mediocre.
>>63913004
"TFA fails to capture the magic that even the prequels managed to convey and instead comes off as a failed recreation of a Marvel movie."
>>63913236
This, actually I agree with.
I liked the movie, but I'm glad JJ is handing the next films off to other directors.
>A New Hope II: Here we go again: the search for more money.
NICE WORK, /TV/
NICE WORK RUINING THE THREAD
The perfect answer would be a string of "glib facsimiles" in never-ending succession
Just fuck my flick up
>>63913004
"A safe, competent, manufactured Disney-esque rehash of A New Hope, recycled with elements of the original trilogy, injected with political correctness to fit the times we live in, and designed as a product to be consumed by the masses."
"Different components arrive at the same overhyped, commercialized product for normalfags and their inbred children for the seventh time."
"The Apple© iPhone™ of cinema."
>>63919311
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SaeFp2470Y
This guy is a great reviewer.
>>63915957
>cancer that actually likes this shit and believes these are honest opinions and supports them
"Medieval fairy tale in space that hoards of morons will claim changes peoples lives"
>>63913451
You're basically staring at a movie tie-in cup from McDonald's and giving it way too much thought
>>63913004
"Better than Return of the Jedi."
CHEWIE, WE'RE HOME
>>63913004
"4>5>6>1>3>7>2, objectively speaking"
>>63913004
Promotes Degenecray and Cuckoldry, packaged in a abhorent repulsive movie.
"I had never seen a shooting star before."
A brilliant follow up to The Avengers that newcomers are sure to enjoy
>>63913004
VII blows all previous 6 films out of the water
suck it
>>63923596
Whedon's influence really stank up the "banter" in this movie
>>63913004
"Cosmic proof that anything really bad, can actually become worse."
or
"JJ ruins another franchise with his mediocrity".
A mediocre film that fails to live up to its predcesors that it despirately rips off point for point.
