STAR WARS BTFO BY THE POPE'S OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER
(Only in italian and spanish sources, not english yet)
>http://www.askanews.it/top-10/l-osservatore-romano-stronca-star-wars_711690072.htm
Translation:
L'Osservatore Romano crushes the seventh episode of Star Wars with a commentary entitled "confused and blurred." "The awakening of the force," writes Emilio Ranzato the Vatican newspaper, "looks more like a reboot (restart) a sequel. Not a reboot of the class, however, as may be the Nolan's Batman, but an update bent to the fashions of time and an audience more accustomed to the computer screen than to the movie theater. " Directed by Abrams "is modulated on more sloppy action movies today, precisely adjacent to the world of video games." Not winning, the Osservatore Romano, "even the choice of much-publicized return to real environments, since they are often anonymous and lack of dramatic value." But "the appearance that fails most spectacularly the staging of the new director is the representation of evil, or the design of negative characters," because "we want to go further, we want to overdo it in the darkness, and the result is very bad" , and in particular the figure that is expected to replace Emperor Palpatine as the supreme embodiment of evil "is the most serious flaw of the film" because "it is the result more awkward and tacky that you could get from the computer graphics." The writers "can not do better than to mimic the choices of the past, as well as seasoning slavishly script appearances and other references to the old chapters, but not ever enrich the story as it happened in the prequel but have the sole function of play on nostalgia ruffianamente the old fans. All in a new structure rather confused and blurred "
>>63789738
best pope? or BEST POPE?
>>63789738
>PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME THIS IS IMPORTANT HOW A FAGGOT NEWSPAPER DIDN'T LIKE SOMETHING I ALSO DIDN'T LIKE FOR EPIN MEMES
Christ you're fucking pathetic.
The Vatican once again proves itself to be the most patrician of institutions.
>>63789826
You are confused and blurred.
>>63789738
not enough Younglings
t. Catholic church
>>63789738
JJ, Di$ney, hipster normie nerds, BTFO.
BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
L
O
W
N
T
H
E
F
U
C
K
O
U
T
P R O T S B T F O
R
O
T
S
B
T
F
O
JEWS BTFO
E
W
S
B
T
F
O
n-no....
______I
______N
______F
______A
P A P A L
______L
______I
______B
______I
______L
______I
______T
______Y
I'm sorry Jej, but this is the ultimate truth now
>the pope didn't actually write this
mah
It's fucking official, if you're Catholic, it's a sin to like Force Awakens.
Repent, now!
I agree with most of that. Honestly, the prequels seem like more valuable movies at this point for the sheer fact they were at least original stories.
Ugh I fucking hate Catholics
Having a religion is like having a dick
It's good to have one, it's alright if you don't
But it's not alright to have it crammed into a boy's asshole
and this is where Catholicism has failed
>The Pope is a fucking Nolanite
>>63789864
this desu
who
/confusedandblurred/ here?
HAHA BTFOOO
>when the vatican roasts your favourite movie
>>63790007
pope is too busy sting up a one world government with the NWO
There is no god. Religion is a sham. The fact that anyone cares what some fairy man in a point hat has to say about cinema would make me puke a little bit if it wasn't so damn funny,
>>63790103
*dibs bedora*
>>63790029
ATHEIST
T
H
E
I
S
T
>>63790117
he's right though.
>>63790154
*shits respectfully in your direction"
>>63790103
>There is no god. Religion is a sham
That doesn't make his opinion about Shit Wars wrong though.
>>63790169
>>63790185
*believes in nonsensical things and ignores reality*
>>63789738
Are people surprised that the Vatican has patrician tastes? They shouldn't be.
>>63790029
Tips fedora
>>63789738
i thought they would slam the movie because "muh catholic values" but this is actual movie criticism, top kek
>mfw one of the most informative and well-spoken criticism of the movie comes from the Vatican's newspaper
>mfw hethens, atheists and sinners will dismiss it because of its origin, despite the criticism being absoultely legitimate
>>63789738
The new Ebert.
>mfw Pope Francis delivers a papal address against other critics' glowing praises for TFA and calls "a deep Christian concern"
damn
this new pope is baller as fuck
who cares
/thread
>>63790298
the vatican is patrician as fuck
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vatican%27s_list_of_films
I guess you can say he sent a papal bull
>>63790231
>>63790654
>Schindler's List (1993)
>>63790654
what does this mean?
Are those movies the vatican publicly thinks are great?
>>63789738
>Real Life Sheev calls out JJ as a hack
PEOPLE WILL REFUTE THIS
>>63790435
I'm what you'd call an atheist and I agree with the pope.
BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
L
O
W
N
T
H
E
F
U
C
K
O
U
T
Holy fuck, The Vatican are fans of Christopher Nolan and his Batman movies. Top kek.
Considering that protestants would love to sanitize and just plain can't appreciate a lot of the arts and also considering that devout islamists would love to see the destruction of arts, I for one am deeply appreciative that the Catholic Church actually cares about the arts.
>>63789738
Is the pope patrican?
http://www.bizjournals.com/philadelphia/news/2015/08/06/prince-theater-pope-francis-fave-film-society.html
>The Prince Theater will screen the Holy Father's top three movies: the Oscar-winning Danish film Babette’s Feast, Fellini's La Strada and Rossellini's Rome, Open City.
>>63790029
epic meme my friend
>>63790814
Carholics, while still a bit deluded, are much more cultured than most other religions.
t. Agnostic raised Catholic
the pope is a bro
>>63789864
By a glib facsimile
>>63790812
You know what that means, right?
Four more years of baneposting.
>>63789738
Based God
>Not a reboot of the class, however, as may be the Nolan's Batman
Just reminder that if you're not a fan of Nolan you're going to Hell.
>>63790861
>2015
>being confused and blurry by a glib facsimile
>This thread
I wish I could find it but, I somewhat recall seeing a pretty positive review of Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange" by whomever was the Catholic Church's film critic in the early 70's.
>>63790848
>Babette's Feast
>La Strada
>Rome, Open City
Patrician as fuck
I was expecting them to accuse the movie of being satanic and stuff, but they are criticizing that it borrows too much from the originals instead of doing something new like the prequels or Nolan's Batman.
What a day.
meanwhile, protestants give their opinion:
http://www.pluggedin.com/movie-reviews/star-wars-the-force-awakens/
>>63791333
The Protestants are like the Retarded Cousin, man.
>>63789738
Jews and Martin Luther are rolling over in their graves in hell
Can't wait to see father Baron destroy this film
>>63790231
>atheists
>not ignoring ultimate reality
Top
Pleb
>>63790029
greetings fellow redditor :^)
>>63789859
ketzer
>>63791333
ZCrude or Profane Language
>One “d--n” and two uses of “h---."
what did they mean by this?
also holy trinity confirmed
>>63790029
I bet you thought that would get you a lot of laughing anime girl reaction pics huh? Embarrassing.
Top kek.DIO PORCO :^)
>>63790814
But the best director of all time was protestant.
>pope
>implying he is a legitimate pope
>>63791962
He was an Orthodox Christian with an appreciation for Taoism.
Absolutely right. Snoke looked like a capeshit villain.
>>63792523
he didnt even do anything yet. This whole movie was a giant build up to a payoff thats two years away
Pope Francis is the best Pope in living memory.
>>63789738
Shouldn't they be focused on helping people like Jesus?
BLURRED AND CONFUSED
GLIB FACSIMILE
>>63792738
JJ is a jew, so...
>>63792738
that's what they're trying to do right now
>>63792738
Jesus gave people advice on what the best plays were to see. Check the Dead Sea Scrolls.
>>63790773
yes.
>>63790767
>implying it doesn't have great Catholic values
>>63792682
He's pretty cool.
John Paul II gave me free tickets to that one big soccer game in 2000 where no one scored a single fucking goal and a white dove flew all over the field like someone gives no shits.
Soccer is pretty great man.Before I trigger someone's autism: They were actually giving out free tickets, courtesy of John Paul II. Of course I didn't mean he personally gave it to me. He probably would have broken his hand under the weight of all that paper, the poor man.
>>63789738
literally reddit: the pope
>>63792682
underage detected jp2 is still greatest pope of all time brah
Even the fucking pope thinks Nolan is great.
The Vatican has god tier taste in art
>>63792877
>Of course I didn't mean he personally gave it to me
DROPPED
>>63792907
Is Nolan confirmed the most patrician of current Hollywood directors then? Not that that's necessarily saying much.
Hot lavaaaaaaa
>>63792933
indeed im reading a book right now that talks about how mean streets is like the most catholic movie ever.
>>63792959
>Not that that's necessarily saying much
Yeah, I mean Nolan is good but compared with JOSS and JJ, nolan is godtier.
>>63792682
underage argienigger detected, Francis is the "say it loud say it clear terrorists are welcome here"
JP2 is goat
Doctor Pavell, i'm saint CIA.
>>63790928
>they only had enough meme-juice to make Baneposting last one day, but instead it lasted eight years.
>>63793133
>Why does Arthur seek the Grail?
>Would it kill him, if he failed?
>>63790029
Fuck off m8
DEUS LO VULT
BURN JJ ABRAMS
>>63793119
>>63792902
John Paul did fuck all to be honest. He's the Gerald Ford of popes.
It's treason then
>>63792682
Polish pope was best pope
>>63793392
What did Francis do ?
I translated it as best I could.
Vatican City, 17th of December. The L'Osservatore Romano crushes the seventh episode of Star Wars with a comment stating that it's "Confused and blurred". "The Force Awakens", writes Emilio Ranzato on the Vatican's newspaper, "seems more like a reboot than a sequel. Not a quality reboot, however, like Nolan's Batman, but an upgrade based on modern trends with an audience more used to the computer screen than a cinema hall." The direction by Abrams "was based on the sloppy action cinema of today, which also correlates to the world of videogames". It's not victorious, for L'Osservatore Romano, "even with the praised decision of going back to more practical sets, given that they were often anonymous and of weak dramatic value." However "the aspect that Abrams fails to capture the most was the representation of evil, in this case the design of the negative characters", because "it goes too far, exaggerating the darkness, and the result is awful", and in particular the figure that should be replacing the emperor Palpatine as the representation of supreme evil "represents the greatest weakness of the film" because "the result is just the most clumsy and tawdry thing that can come out of CGI". The writers "don't know how to do anything better than ape the past, and sprinkle slavishly the script with appearances and references to the older chapters, that however don't ever add to the story unlike in the prequels but have the sole function of criminally playing on the nostalgia of old fans. All that in a new package that is similarly confused and blurred."
>jews
>caring about what a Pope says>in this century, at least
I'm in disbelief the pope would review a star wars movie
>>63790029
>>63790103
Man, winter break sure came early this year. These edgy redditors are out of control.
>>63790029
u seem euphoric
Best review I've seen.
First Order were such Nazis they were a German accent away from making /pol/ blush
Say what you want about the prequels but they did add a shit ton more lore.
>>63793868
Completely change the dynamic of emphasising the plight of the poor and economic issues, along with global warming.
>>63792738
http://www.forbes.com/companies/catholic-charities-usa/
shouldnt you?
Is Luke the Space Jesus in Star Wars Universe?
>>63791652
Martin Luther would have hated it just for it being made by a jew.
>>63794670
> If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
>>63794670
Anakin is
I mean if you couldn't figure it out after Episode I's "he has no father" there's nothing that can be done for you
>>63789738
Looks like the Holy Inquisition is back.
>>63790103
>>63794798
But he went to the dark side, Jesus never went to the dark side or accepted the temptations of the Devil.
>>63794670
Rey is looking to be.
>>63789738
I gotta say that's a pretty good negative review. It was wrong but if one were to write a negative review those were good points.
>>63790855
>more cultured
You haven't met many Polish carpenters and handymen, have you?
>>63790848
>yfw the pope is more patrician than 98% of neets on this board
>and in particular the figure that is expected to replace Emperor Palpatine as the supreme embodiment of evil "is the most serious flaw of the film" because "it is the result more awkward and tacky that you could get from the computer graphics."
He meant Adam Driver, Domhnall Gleeson or Snoke? I think for the last part of the sentence would be snoke but not sure...
>>63795128
I'm pretty sure, being the pope, he's more patrician than 100% of this board
>>63793900
so the movie wasnt reviewed by the pope, just someone writing for the vatican's newspaper?
Why is the Vatican so based bros?
thinking of converting tbph
>>63789738
a glib facsimile
>>63790117
*tips pedophile mitre*
when will the camrip be out?
FROM MY POINT OF VIEW THE CHURCH IS CONFUSED AND BLURRED
>>63792285
based Andrei
>>63789780
By far best pope.
Look at the Vatican's film list. They have magnificent taste.
>>63795317
>>63789738
Snoke?
Snope?
Pope?
Pic related.
Looks like Snoke.
>>63790029
You're the same person who goes #notallmuslims aren't you?
>>63795636
Does Michael Moore post here?
>>63790029
>Ugh
stopped reading there
>>63790231
>unironically believes in multiple universes
>unironically believes that blackholes can be used for time travel.
and they say believing in god is a fantasy.
>>63790103
>There is no god. Religion is a sham
my fucking sides
you sound fresh out of middle school
>>63790029
>Ugh I fucking hate Catholics
>Having a religion is like having a dick
>It's good to have one, it's alright if you don't
>But it's not alright to have it crammed into a boy's asshole
>and this is where Catholicism has failed
>>63795806
>>63790654
>Andrei Rublev
New Pentarchy confirmed
>>63796168
reddit cuck detected
>>63789738
>not enough naked younglings
>Luke didn't fuck off to his own youngling boipussy harem island
>too many women
>Kylo Ren is too old
>Han doesn't die from a heart attack while balls deep in a youngling
>the nigger lives
>0/10 biggest sin since talking snakes
>>63790029
I'm not even religious (don't have to, Yurop is civilised), but I somehow find this cringeworthy. Are you 12 by any chance? And does your mother think your a real rebel because you don't tie your shoelaces?
>>63790767
Dude, wtf, "Schindler's List" is great! I was completely unaware how awesome those SS uniforms were before seeing them in all their black and white glory. Based Hugo Boss...
>>63794946
in my oppion the jedi are evil!
>>63789738
>looks more like a reboot (restart) a sequel. Not a reboot of the class, however, as may be the Nolan's Batman, but an update bent to the fashions of time and an audience more accustomed to the computer screen than to the movie theater.
wow I agree 100%
brb converting to Catholicism
>>63796826
kek
>>63796264
But modern catholics is very pro-ecumenical. What's problem?
>>63790007
>>63790101
Wouldn't it be cool if he did. If one of the Pope's jobs was to write reviews for movies.
>>63789738
Was Snoke based off of the Pope, or off of Prester John?
Contra Errores JJuedabramos confirmed for greatest Papal pronouncement on cinema ever
Who knew /tv/ was actually a Catholic board?
>>63790029
Jay Jay Binks your movies are awful. Deal with it.
>>63797004
>Yurop is civilised
I would not call being an Islamist state being civilized.
>>63797922
Nice try but there's still less % nonwhites in Europe than there are just niggers in the US
You'll be able to use that line in 50 years when they take power (but by then you'll be Mexico 2.0)
>>63797987
Id rather live in Mexico 2 than Middle East 2 aka Europe
The paper is right. This is essentially a straight reboot of A New Hope to cash in on nostalgia while updating the characters to fit a more modern view(a black guy and a lady).
>>63798052
Why? You get beheaded in both anyway
>>63797987
>(but by then you'll be Mexico 2.0)
Nope, we have our next president to save us, while Europe has no one like Trump.
>>63798053
Its one thing for the general public to eat it up, but most critics fucking raving about it pisses me off so much. They judge it differently because its called star wars
>>63789738
SHEEV BEST VILLAIN CONFIRMED.
>>63798145
At least mexicans dont hate alcohol and sex like muslims
>>63790029
Hey cates
>>63798213
This. Sheev is now LITERALLY and CANONICALLY CONFIRMED as the best Star Wars villain by the APOSTOLIC AND UNIVERSAL CATHOLIC CHURCH, established by Jesus Christ himself.
The Catholic Church is now also officially on record as being pro-Baneposting.
Praise God, we have consecrated our memes in the Name of the Lord
new pope says fags are ok, says Muslims are ok, says atheists are ok
no to star wars
>>63790989
>>63798488
deal with it nerd
>>63790029
That was fucking terrible even by /tv/ standards.
>>63798488
>pope
>fags are ok
>Mudslimes are ok
>atheists and their satanic ways are ok
as traditional christian I always knew Catholics and Catholicism was evil
>>63799732
from my point of view Lutherans are evil
>>63789738
>a group of some of the most educated people on the planet completely smash a film with eloquence
Feels good to be master race. Movie was hokey as shit.
>>63790773
the vatican is the pope's nickname
>>63798299
ho boy am I laffin
>>63799732
a glib facsimile of catholicism
>>63790809
>I'm what you'd call an atheist and I agree with the pope
you are not a real atheobro then
you are like that people saying "hurr durr but Hitler did good things too"
it's because these things that our movement is not taken seriously
>>63790103
>I have don't understand religion therefore it must be a sham
It's people like you who give atheists a bad name.
Mind you the Vatican is about as relevant in the modern world as the British Monarchy, and this is if anything a new low.
>>63799732
>as traditional christian
you mean as a heretic protestant
>>63789738
>caring what the apostate Latin Church thinks
>>63800321
>Mind you the Vatican is about as relevant in the modern world as the British Monarchy
this is what you like to believe as non-catholic
>>63789738
>confused and blurred
Are they talking about TFA or the recent Synod on the Family?
>>63800383
>coming from a "Chuch" unable to even organize a shitty pan-orthodox council
lmao
>>63800458
>Vatican II
Yes, it's great to hold unnecessary councils.
>>63800540
as long they are pastoral and not dogmatic :^)
>>63799732
Come home.
>>63789738
It's JUST what I expected, this rehash is nothing but a glib facsimile.
If Star Wars was all I had access to as a child in terms of sci-fi I probably would become one of those crazy fanboys, but thankfully I had access to anime from very early on in my youth years that my mental balance is very stable.
Seriously, if you have watched Akira, you'd realize just how sophisticated anime is and it blows away anything Star Wars would have to offer.
A lot of people mention Ghost In The Shell, which has just enough of sexuality in the mix to draw in the western audience I suppose but I must say that Ghost In The Shell is not even in my top 10 anime, not even close, that's just how deep the world of anime is.
Some anime is so disturbingly mature like Fractale that I wish it would challenge the system and submit it as a Drama category in the Oscars just to bitchslap the snotty Academy.
It's not just the level of maturity and sophistication anime has, it's also quite original, entertaining, and visually fantastic. I would regard anime as the highest form of cinema art-form.
But hey, me preaching about anime won't do you any good, you gotta go out and see it for yourself just how much you are missing.
The recent one I would recommend to check out is Sword Art Online which is light and easy to get into anime for the first time yet appreciate it as much, but if you want the heavy stuff right off the line check out Guilty Crown in which the plot is so complex and twisted that you'll need extra oxygen pumped into your brain in order to comprehend everything, and if you want amazing visuals and a gripping drama that also has awesome mecha battles Aldnoah.Zero is the shit.
Seriously, if you know anime like I do, Star Wars looks like it's something for little kids.
>>63800587
Vatican II has pastored a billion people to hell.
>>63789738
>As may be Nolan's Batman
>>63799732
Vatican the Second you mean
>>63800615
Sorry Greeks and Slavs but your bearded priests look weird and creepy
>>63800649
I'm glad I finally had a chance to witness this pasta after hearing so much about it.
>>63800895
It was someone's original and honest opinion before being pasta
>>63801019
this is /television & film/
we clean our asses with people oroginal and honest opinion
don't like it? back to reddit bro
>not reading all that
pope can eat a crusty jawa dick uncut
movie was fun and great
JJ poped the fuck out
>>63801134
fuck off satan
>>63800388
You must admit they are not what they once were
>>63800649
Like I said the last time I saw this pasta
Sword Art Online is the cringiest shit I a have ever had the misfortune to witness, it is awful.
>>63801162
why should I care what some old nigger saids ?
again
the movie was fun and great
>>63789738
>can not do better than to mimic the choices of the past
ah the hypocrisy of christians
always good for a laugh
>>63801549
>>>/b/
Come back when you able to talk like an adult and not an edgy sperg
This thread makes me happy.
>>63801935
You make me happy babe
Times were a lot more simple when the Vatican was just sanctioning rape.
>>63789738
What does the dorito pope have to say in respone?
>>63795460
>Look at the Vatican's film list. They have magnificent taste.
Where can I find it?
>>63792877
>Of course I didn't mean he personally gave it to me.
Implying you didn't use it as a hook to an otherwise totally uninteresting story.
>>63802656
see
>>63790654
don't be that lazy and read the fucking thread
>>63790029
>But it's not alright to have it crammed into a boy's asshole
Where's the fun on that?
>>63789859
THAT VATICAN APPROVED LIST
>>63793900
Is this real?
>>63803356
Only seen 14 of these.
How pleb am I?
>>63792738
>Telling people not waste $15 on a bad film
>Not helping them
>>63790029
Noice b8e m8e
>>63799732
Catholicism puts the Tradition into Christianity
A good review, spot on. But then again, they should know, because it's similar to religion, where everything is about nostalgia and following the established "truth".
>>63794946
>Jesus never went to the dark side
"I never picked a bible or a theology book" the post
>>63803455
Saint Peter will heckle you at the gates.
Watch more.
>>63789738
Can't wait till someone trolls ISIS and the muslims into thinking EP 7 insults Islam and there is worldwide protests and shootings at viewings.
>>63803512
>The writers "can not do better than to mimic the choices of the past, as well as seasoning slavishly script appearances and other references to the old chapters,
Very glib indeed
Because Pope = Snoke.
JJ is outing the old bastard.
