Another fucking Death Star. What the fuck Disney? If the prequels were poetry then this shit is just ending each line with the same fucking word so it rhymes
I heard that in the next one there's a death star the size of a galaxy, able to destroy universes
>another Death Star meme
It's not. It's a giant fucking cannon on an actual planet.
>>63766953
so the difference is that they didnt built the whole planet? and you think its not the same basically?
this shit isnt even derivative, this is straight up copying
its 'robert cop' levels of retarded knock-off
>>63766953
It's still fucking doomsday machine bulshit.
>>63767095
It is a cannon built inside of an ice planet capable of destroying multiple targets at once.
It is powered by draining entire stars of their energy to power the massive weapon.
Hence the name, "The Star-Killer".
>>63767381
Still a rip off
>>63766953
>b-b-but it's not a death star if we don't call it a death star!
good goyim
>>63767381
top kek didnt even know it was called "star killer"
>death star
>star killer
and this coming from a post claiming it isnt a ripoff
The problembo had with it was what was it's fucking point!?
The purpose of the death star was to keep the planetary governors in line after the emperor disolved the senate
This super death star was pointless. All the fucking money and time they spent to convert A WHOLE FUCKING PLANET into a weapon they could have just bought 27 clone armies and taken over the republic
Or even easier, just bribe all the fucking senators
>>63766774
they even make this joke in the movie
>>63767695
damn
its almost like poetry
>>63767653
> Old Leia: "Holy fucking shit, is that oscillator really that easy to target? 30 fucking years, its the fucking OG Death Star run all over again."
>>63767498
Quick friends, name the next planet destroying doomsday device. The following names are already taken by old EU and off limits
DARK REAPER
DARKSABER
SUNCRUSHER
GALAXY GUN
ECLIPSE CLASS SUPER STAR DESTROYER
SUN RAZER
CENTERPOINT STATION
SHOCK DRUM
DEATH MARK LASER
BARADIUM FISSION DEVICE
COSMIC TURBINE
DESOLATOR
EYE OF PALPATINE
MASS SHADOW GENERATOR
OMEGA FROST
ORBITAL NIGHTCLOAK
PLANET KILLER (REALLY STRETCHING IT WHOEVER WROTE THIS SHIT)
SILENCER
SHAWKIN DEVICE
STAR FORGE
STARKILLER (DIFFERENT FROM STARKILLER BASE!)
TARKIN
WORLD DEVASTATOR
HAMMER STATION
SKY CANNON
INFINITY GATE
DARKSTAFF
PLANET PRISON
>>63766774
It's a death star that uses shotgun ammo. And no one in the story pretends it's not a death star 2.0 either.
>>63766774
It's like poetry
It rhymes
>>63767381
Lets take the Star Forge from the Old Republic and the Plot from Star Wars episode 4 and the Han solo's good and bad twins from EU and make one movie. Yaaaaaay!
>Star Wars Episode [s]IV[/s] VII: [s]A New Hope[/s] The Force Awakens
>An orphaned [s]boy[/s] girl named [s]Luke[/s] Rey lives on the desert planet of [s]Tatooine[/s] Jakku in relative isolation.
>[s]R2-D2[/s] BB-8, a droid belonging to the [s]Rebellion[/s] Resistance, lands on [s]Tatooine[/s] Jakku in a bid to escape the [s]Empire[/s] First Order so that it may relay vital information back to the [s]Rebellion[/s] Resistance. [s]Luke[/s] Rey finds [s]R2-D2[/s] BB-8 and decides to help it on its mission.
>The [s]Empire[/s] First Order, in hot pursuit of the droid, lands on [s]Tatooine[/s] Jakku and burns [s]Luke's[/s] Rey's [s]home[/s] hometown. [s]Luke[/s] Rey manages to find a ship, The Millenium Falcon, and with the help of Han Solo, temporarily escapes the grasp of The [s]Empire[/s] First Order.
>The crew soon learn that The [s]Empire[/s] First Order has built a super weapon the size of a [s]moon[/s] planet, and that it can destroy entire [s]planets[/s] planetary systems! While The [s]Rebellion[/s] Resistance is planning their spaceship assault on this super weapon, it's revealed that it has one small weakness.
>During the assault of the super weapon, a Dark Force user named [s]Darth Vader[/s] Kylo Ren kills [s]Luke's[/s] Rey's mentor, [s]Obi-Wan Kenobi[/s] Han Solo.
>Afterwards, [s]Luke[/s] Rey must go to a remote, isolated planet in order to learn the ways of The Force from a great Jedi warrior named [s]Yoda[/s] Luke.
>>63767773
yeah, specifically limericks. Abrams loves limericks.
>>63767381
holy fuck you're dumb
>>63767865
how do you strikethrough on this faggy site?
>>63767798
I think death killer is their only option left at this point
or star-star death?
>>63766774
Is that a Death Star Orbiting the What-why-how-Star?
>>63767919
You don't.
You just post this instead
>>63768059
it's like poetry
>>63767798
Galaxy Gun and Eye of Palpatine seem like the best two names for the next two death machines in VIII and IX
>>63767798
You joke, but I recognize a few of those names from the eu.
>>63767865
>>63768059
it kind of feels like the 'everything is the same stuff just with the names changed" is somewhat intentional. in a meta way, at risk of sounding pretentious
>>63768411
Cause Disney played it safe as fuck. There was no way they would try to do anything slightly risky with this property
>>63766774
>Another fucking Death Star
With a dash of Halo thrown in since it had mountains n' shit.
>>63766774
>>63766953
The empire shouldn't have enough resources at this time to carve out a huge plant and make a giant system destroyer.
>>63766953
That's even more retarded
How the FUCK do you rotate a planet to aim this thing?
I liked it. Had obvious meta-jokes ("there's always a way to blow it up" and it was named Anakin's original last name Starkiller)
>>63768411
its not meta when you do it just because it has already been done and was successful
everything 'new' introduced in this movie isnt actually new but a rehash of things that have worked in the past
if a random movie used ANY of that shit they would be sued to hell by disney, but now its ok because theyre actually doing it in a star wars movie so how could a sequel be considered a rip off
the only reason jj was able to pull that shit of is the time between the movies, if the originals were 5 years ago he would be forced to write a very very different movie because people would go "jj we have already seen that shit dude", but having 30 years between them makes it alright somehow
>>63767653
>The problembo had with it was what was it's fucking point!?
to weaken the republic and make them surrender, like a nuke in ww2
>>63768411
Disney needs to make 1.5 billion dollars from the movie, meechandise, etc. In order to recoup their investment. They are taking absolutely no risks
How the fuck did they build something big enough to suck up a goddamn sun?
>>63768598
> make them surrender
> by nuking their capital and their leaders who can authorize a surrender
Great plan
WHY DID R2 JUST RANDOMLY FUCKING TURN ON WITH 90% OF THE FUCKING MAP
DID THEY THINK TO CHECK THAT FUCKER? NOP JUST PUT A TARP OVER HIM NBD PUT IT OVER THERE NEXT TO THE GARBAGE
>>63768542
>meta-jokes
this fucking meme I swear to god
It's not a meta-joke, it's just shitty writing. It's just lazy, in-excusable, devoid of any creativity, shitty writing
>We're going to do exactly what they did in a new hope but our character cracks a joke of it so it's meta :^)
fucking no
>>63766774
>tfw The Force Awakens is just the cinematic equivalent of using "Nigga" over and over again in Rap
Meine sides.
>>63766774
I'm just confused on where they go from here?
>>63768622
especially after a destructive civil war
>Han didn't fade away so no cgi young Han at the end of the last movie
tfw
>>63768542
I like the idea that it was a cannon built into a planet because
1. It makes it rather inconspicuous
2. It's probably cheaper to construct than building an entire space station from scratch
Both those points seem to compliment the nature of the new enemy as an armed rebellion that doesn't have the resources and power that the Empire had
>>63768523
It also shoots an energy beam that is faster than light, but also visible by the human eye and can seperate into multiple beams mid flight to hit multiple targets.
>>63768639
It was the smoke monster they're in a purgatory
It gets blown up, dont get your panties in a bunch. Its not even the big bad
>>63768639
And how the fuck did they not know where he was from the map that BB8 had? There was several systems on it. Fuck, it even seemed like R2D2's map was just a generic map of the galaxy with a big hole in it. Why not just use another fucking map?
>>63767798
>PLANET KILLER (REALLY STRETCHING IT WHOEVER WROTE THIS SHIT)
Planet Buster
>>63768635
yep, new leaders will surrender so they dont all die
>>63767865
like this
>Star Wars Episode I̶V̶ VII: A̶ ̶N̶e̶w̶ ̶H̶o̶p̶e̶ The Force Awakens
>An orphaned b̶o̶y̶ girl named L̶u̶k̶e̶ Rey lives on the desert planet of T̶a̶t̶o̶o̶i̶n̶e̶ Jakku in relative isolation.
>R̶2̶-̶D̶2̶ BB-8, a droid belonging to the R̶e̶b̶e̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶ Resistance, lands on T̶a̶t̶o̶o̶i̶n̶e̶ Jakku in a bid to escape the E̶m̶p̶i̶r̶e̶ First Order so that it may relay vital information back to the R̶e̶b̶e̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶ Resistance. L̶u̶k̶e̶ Rey finds BB-8 and decides to help it on its mission.
>The E̶m̶p̶i̶r̶e̶ First Order, in hot pursuit of the droid, lands on T̶a̶t̶o̶o̶i̶n̶e̶ Jakku and burns L̶u̶k̶e̶'̶s̶ Rey's h̶o̶m̶e̶ hometown. L̶u̶k̶e̶ Rey manages to find a ship, The Millenium Falcon, and with the help of Han Solo, temporarily escapes the grasp of The E̶m̶p̶i̶r̶e̶ First Order.
>The crew soon learn that The E̶m̶p̶i̶r̶e̶ First Order has built a super weapon the size of a m̶o̶o̶n̶ planet, and that it can destroy entire p̶l̶a̶n̶e̶t̶s̶ planetary systems! While The R̶e̶b̶e̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶ Resistance is planning their spaceship assault on this super weapon, it's revealed that it has one small weakness.
>During the assault of the super weapon, a Dark Force user named D̶a̶r̶t̶h̶ ̶V̶a̶d̶e̶r̶ Kylo Ren kills L̶u̶k̶e̶'̶s̶ Rey's mentor, O̶b̶i̶-̶W̶a̶n̶ ̶K̶e̶n̶o̶b̶i̶ Han Solo.
>Afterwards, L̶u̶k̶e̶ Rey must go to a remote, isolated planet in order to learn the ways of The Force from a great Jedi warrior named Y̶o̶d̶a̶ Luke.
>>63768722
Yeah the big bad will be a Star that shoots itself at other stars
>>63768694
I know right
I just hope they make the next death stars even cooler :D
its not like the idea of having a planet as a weapon is so grand it shouldnt be used even a second time
>>63768729
The whole thing felt like a bad RPG quest. I mean LUKES SABER WAS IN A FUCKING ZELDA CHEST IN A DUNGEON
>>63768649
>de assblasted nerd
I laughed and so did the rest of the audience. Stay miserable
>>63768694
>probably cheaper to construct that building an entire space station
cannon barrel/hole itself is large that the death star - imagine how much work it would take to bore the a tunnel the size of a mid-sized country into a planet, then dig out a trench round the entire thing, then cover it all in metal. It would have used 100 time the amount of materials than a death star AND they had to dig out all the space.
I liked the movie more or less, but the it's dumb
>>63768722
no shit sherlock thats the point of the whole thread. having the same old shit happening the exact same way
![1x13-Battle-Of-The-Planets-invader-zim-24246528-1360-768[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/chb9B5a.jpg "1x13-Battle-Of-The-Planets-invader-zim-24246528-1360-768[1].jpg")
Invader Zim rip off?
>>63768753
Obi-Wan wasn't killed during the destruction of the Death Star.
>>63768622
> Abrams: And we'll make the new weapon suck up the sun! How cool is that?
> Scrub: Isn't the sun like, vital to the survival of the entire solar s-
> Abrams: IT SUCKS UP THE SUN LIKE YOUR WHORE MOM SUCKS MY DICK
>>63768699
Thank you for not explaining how the planet rotates in order to aim.
>>63768761
>literal star wars
POTTERY
>>63768849
does it say destruction or assault retard?
>>63766774
Honestly that thing shouldn't have had a cannon at all. It should have just gone around sucking up suns to charge itself for some unknown purpose. It would have been a really good thematic device, since there is a struggle between light and dark between the characters and internally in Kylo Ren. It also should have survived into the next movie at least.
>>63768729
Didn't they say at some point when looking at BBs map "it's not part of any known galaxy"
then it was literally part of some galaxy
but I mean, maybe it wasn't a known galaxy? Then what the fuck do they do with the map since they don't know where the fuck that area is?
>>63768753
last line happens in esb
either way the movie was fucking good I'm glad they went formulaic
>>63768747
I dont think you realize how much chaos would result from instantly wiping out an entire galaxy-spanning civilization's capital planet
>>63768855
> Abrams: And we'll make the new weapon an even bigger death star that can suck up the sun! How cool is that?
>Scrub: Yeah! Or even better, we could make it bigger than that and it could suck up WHOLE GALAXIES
>Abrahams: You're fired.
>proceeds to use the idea in the sequel
>>63766953
But it is.
>>63768397
he's not joking, they're all from the eu
>>63768794
>hey guys lets land on this planet to get you a transport
>whoah woops Luke's lightsaber was randomly here all along!
What a fucking coincidence
>>63769022
Tarkin isn't
>>63768855
>Yeah, you know what? It could be like Deathstar... but bigger!
>...hey, hey! Wait! We can use that as a line in the movie, it's brilliant! Everyone will know how mine is like the old but bigger and better!
>>63768957
You are saying they wouldnt immediately surrender?
>>63769052
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tarkin_%28superweapon%29
>>63769057
>bigger and better!
except it get's blown up even easier
>>63769046
this is why the spoiler theory was better, that bb-8 was carrying the saber
>>63769102
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wilhuff_Tarkin
>>63769101
There's no one left with the authority to surrender. The entire chain of command and all their replacements are gone. You've created a giant power vaccum
Why do you think the US never bombed the imperial palace?
>>63768479
>>63768569
>>63768604
well of course their gonna play it safe, star wars isn't just another movie series we're talking about something that's basically apart of american culture and everyone knows the fucking backlash that happened with the prequels. I'm just glad they nailed all the "star wars" feel with out getting so buried in the world building and set up.
>>63769110
>BB-8 carries the saber
>Rey touches it
>Lost memories come back, she was actually a pupil of Luke's sent away
>remembers where Luke is or at least a clue
>She is actually what everyone is after instead of some mcguffin
Something like that?
>Supreme Leader Snoke's throne/teleconference room
That was some stellar set design
>>63769196
>The entire chain of command and all their replacements are gone
nope, still people outside of that area, even if it splinters off into a thousand groups they then forced the republic to have to go into hiding and have their military crumble
pretty good use of a doomsday weapon
>>63766774
Why do people not get just how Star Wars this premise is?
This guy >>63767798 he gets it.
This thing wasn't a Death Star, it was almost literally the Galaxy Gun and along story concept too. All that needs to happen is supreme leader stogy is a Palpatine clone. The movie was Star Wars to the core, saying was unoriginal is the same as being mad at VI. The plot was it's own following the classic tropes of the heroes journey, that is what we wanted guys, we wanted a Star Wars story!
Honestly what were you looking for? Tell me what you would have done.
>>63769452
I want something not shit
>>63766953
>>63767381
>>63768411
>>63768542
>>63768604
>>63768694
>>63768722
>>63768805
>>63768822
>>63768928
>>63769302
>THEY FELL FOR IT
>>63767798
Suncrusher. And I hope it's some big barely working piece of tech, not the ridiculously OP Mary Sue ship that the EU version was
Fuck the Suncrusher
>>63766774
Yeah, I mean, it's not like it's a common theme that the Empire builds death stars or anything. That's like being mad that about the army building MRV missiles.
>>63768805
>we're all fucking retarded so there!
I didn't laugh because it wasn't funny. It was trite. You're a fucking clown.
>there's always a way to blow it up! xD
Fuck yourself.
>>63769452
villain wins in the end, empire is established
>>63769452
>being this retarded
>shitposting about it
I dunno, maybe a semi-original story instead of blowing up the 3rd death star?
God damn you're autist as fuck
>>63769505
God that ship was ridiculous, I'll miss a lot of the EU but I'm glad that's dead.
>>63769582
What's the Suncrusher? The name sounds kind of badass, but the way you're putting it makes it sound like it was way too overused in whatever it appeared in.
>>63768059
Several things in that aren't even true. Confirmed Amerilard who hasn't seen the movie because he's too scared he'll be shot if he goes to the cinema.
>>63769640
It was a little ship that blew up suns. The problem was that it was also "nigh indestructible"
>>63766774
NONE of pieces of shit read the books, i can tell. im the only one here.
>>63769485
>These people are able to just sit back and actually enjoy a fucking movie
>GRRR I'M SO PISSED
>>63768510
The Empire and the Rebels shouldn't even exist anymore, but hey.
>>63768510
It was probably Sheev who started the project and Snoke just finished/found it.
>>63769640
A fighter sized ship that fired torpedoes into stars and made them go supernova so it killed entire systems at once. Also it had no weakness and it's armor absorbed energy or some shit. I think it got used only twice? Some Padawan of Luke's went darkside and stole it blew up a system that had his brother in it felt bad and dropped into a gas gaint. Then he was lightside again. Later I think they force pulled it out of the gas gaint core and it was completely fine too
>>63766774
>that awkward moment when 10 x wings destroy an entire planet
>>63769710
cool dude! please enlighten us with your amazing in depth knowledge of this MOVIE WE SLIGHTLY LIKE BUT HAVEN'T TURNED INTO A FULL TIME JOB YET
>>63769734
Enjoying any shit put infront of you isn't a sign of maturity you know
>>63769734
no, i'm pissed that i wasted $40 taking my gf out to see this movie and it turned out to be the same fucking story for the third time.
i'm pissed that Hollywood gets away with this shit because retards like you say "oh well it's just a movie lol jk"
>>63769485
I paid $17 for my Imax 3D ticket, smuggled in some snacks, and had a wonderful time. what did you expect going into it that it didn't live up to?
>>63770003
>he went to the movies alone
>>63769853
>it even survived a glancing blow from the Death Star Prototype's Superlaser
t. wookiepedia
What the fuck
>>63769922
>I DONT LIKE READING IT'S HARD
sorry you're so busy watching grey's anatomy and hanging out with cool peopleHIS NAME WAS JASON, NOT FUCKING BEN
you guys just act like fans
>>63769987
I'm pissed that I bothered to rewatch the original trilogy a few days ago. Could have just rewatched it at the cinema
>>63770028
I didn't go alone my theater has a no singles policy
>>63769968
neither is getting pissed about what other people watch and enjoy
>>63769987
>spending 40$
>not just going to the matinee or fucking waiting on a camrip
>>63766774
I was hoping that, instead of being a giant laser, it would just consume the suns of whatever system they happened to jump it to. so instead of just blowing up a planet they just take the star powering the whole system.
>>63769452
I outlined how fucking retarded the EU had become by the time Disney order 66'd it and how this movie is literally doing the same fucking shit that made the EU trash, power level wankery and progressively more powerful big bads.
>>63770078
>he goes to a 'theater' instead of the cinema
>>63770003
>>63770028
>gf and i watch entire series a few days ago
>$25 on tickets, $15 on popcorn/sodas
>3rd time they blow up a death star
so sick of getting jewed at the movies. torrenting 100% of movies from now on
>>63770125
>>spending 40$
>>not just going to the matinee or fucking waiting on a camrip
>trying to support a movie franchise i like
>not trying to get spoiled to fuck and back
>not trying to watch potato quality
won't make that mistake again, will torrent hd rips and never give Star Wars my money again
Snoke is just trying to lure Luke out of hiding and he though death star 3.0 would do it.
Luke hates death stars.
>>63770125
>stealing
>>63770193
better than sitting in on a senate meeting. blowing up the starkiller wasn't even that major of a plot point in this
The resistance should have failed to destroy it.
It would have made for a much better movie desu
>>63770137
So you don't like Star Wars, got it. Wait, why do you care then? Do you only have nostalgia goggles for the original trilogy or what?
I'm just tired of shit in the Star Universe getting named Starkiller, because it always summons that one guy who thinks he's going to blow your mind with that piece of trivia that's known to literally every single person who's even vaguely aware of what star wars is
"hey did you know the Starkiller was Luke's origi-"
go find a basketball hoop and get dunked on.
>>63766774
WHY WAS HAN A FUCKING TAXI DRIVER THE WHOLE TIME?
Why were shields so shitty in this movie?
Shields did fucking nothing.
A TIE fighter can blow up shit on a fucking star destroyer now?
>>63770859
they were flying within the shield
>>63770859
I agree with you, but I'll play devil's advocate:
Shields probably soak up a shitload of power, and they're not turned on unless a destroyer is headed to a battle zone or falls under attack. Since they were above a podunk desert planet with maybe one large settlement, they didn't have any reason to waste power on keeping the shields up.
>>63767798
QUANTUM CRUSHER!!!!
>>63767798
You forgot Space Raper.
>>63766774
the cost of a death star/starkiller/9001 fucking star destroyers is nothing compared to pic related.
>>63772512
What did they think would happen?
>>63772512
how in the fuck did they cost 14 grand? are they using printer ink?
>>63772534
probably the local paint store owner did it to make another easy 14 fucking grand from selling 6 tins of paint.
>>63772610
That's actually a genius idea. Blow like 50 bucks or so on the first one, then get idiots to fund the touch ups continuously
>>63772608
do you not know how government contracts work?
>>63768660
this so much
>>63769987
>i'm pissed that i wasted $40 taking my gf out to see this movie
All the signs pointed to this movie being crap and $40 is a needless expense just to go the the theater. This is all on you, man.
I went to pee whenChewie, Han and Finn found Rey on the Death Starand returned whenHan met Ben
What did I miss?
>>63770372
I really want there to be an MGS2 style twist in ep 8 that explains away the events of VII being the same shit as the OT.
>>63767807
They literally say it's not another Death Star and show the two of them side by side...
>>63768523
It doesn't. They use mirrors.
>>63770410
Yes
Perhaps cripple its weapon or something, so it can't be used until repaired, but the base still exists and jumps away
