So has anyone shot up your local theater yet?
No ;_;
What's the best way to survive being shot
Assuming you aren't shot in the head or heart.
>>63748824
Honest answer, get medical treatment ASAP.
>>63748824
if you start hearing gunshots just hit the ground and stay down
nobody shoots something thats already presumably dead if theyre trying to kill lots of things at once
>>63748824
>hear gunshots
Drop to your isle and play dead. Assuming the shooter is psycho he will go for moving targets first
>>63748824
>>63748847
While waiting for medical help I'd relax a much as possible and act dead, try real hard not to scream from the pain and eventually, once the shooters are gone, crawl my way to a place where rescue crew can easily spot me.
>>63748824
Whip out your dick and scream. Nobody's gonna shoot that guy.
>>63748824
Buy kevlar armor from the concession stand.
>>63748986
>theaters selling body armor
Why? Where are you from, lad?
>>63748913
that's what they did at the Bataclan. first they fired into the crowd, then they shot at people on the floor
>>63748824
Make a bandage and apply pressure
If a major artery is hit you'll pass out in less than a minute anyway
guys you talk experienced as you already survived several shootings lol
>>63749038
Shut the up fuck kid
>>63749038
It doesn't take a whole lot of brain power to figure this shit out, dumb African.
last 4 digits (if applicable) is the time you will be shot if you are in the theater then
so stay away
starting
now
________________________
>>63749057
>>63749060
why so nervous? some of you guys are alright I'm sure you will be fine
/tv/ if I record weapon sounds and start playing them loudly with my phone can I be legally pursued for that?
>>63749182
of course not
>>63749236
all right
>>63749182
Just make some rap music play after about 10 seconds. Say it was your ringetone.
Who /TheaterMischief/ here?
>>63749257
let's say I put it as ringtone to prank my friends and then completely forgot about before going to movies
>>63748824
You have to pee in the wound, but if you can't pee then just pour some soda in, it keeps the area disinfected
>>63749182
Yes you can. It is similar to shouting fire in a movie theater. If it causes a panic and someone gets injured rushing out you will be liable criminally, and if not then you will be sued in a civic court
>>63749007
It's a meme, like Crab Legs, Falconry (where did that shit come from anyway), and cinema showers
>>63749182
im pretty sure you'd be punished the same way for screaming "THE THEATER'S ON FIRE"
>medical advice on /tv/
>legal advice on /tv/
This thread has everything, let's go for the trifecta and get some awesome dating advice too
>Americans being in charge of not living in fear
http://www.inquisitr.com/2628810/star-wars-theater-shooting-prep-how-to-keep-you-and-your-family-safe/
>>63749365
We are also leading expert in the topics of showers and water temperature.
>>63749365
Dating advice won't help when you're becoming lead swiss cheese
>>63748913
>>63748962
>play dead on the theater floor
i think i'd rather be dead
>>63749257
D E V I L I S H
Guys what superglue brand is best for glueing gunshot wounds in combat conditions?
>>63749084
rolling
>go to local cinema for star wars
>cut hole in bottom of popcorn bucket so the tranny I'm on a date with can jerk me off
>stick penis in
>scalding hot liquid butter on my junk
>screaming loudly during a quiet scene
>people in theater getting angry
>all whispering loudly about how someone should do something
>nobody does because the shooter hasn't emerged yet
>"my date tonight is transitioning to become a woman!" I scream
>everyone stands, turns to us and applauds
>wow she is so brave
>a real American hero
>a man dressed all in black bursts through the theater doors, out of breath
>sorry I'm late he says
>pulls out several assault-style AK-M-16s with tripod magazines and 420 noscopes
>Walmart price tags still visible
>intercom chimes in
>sorry for the delay folks, the theater shooting will commence now
>folks quiet down and return to their seats
>I check my wallet
>panic
>only enough to tip the theater shooter 15%
>>63749038
Well yeah, we are American after all
>>63749397
Good read. thanks sempai
>>63748824
>What's the best way to survive being shot
Don't be American, don't get shot.
>>63748469
>inb4 mudslime shoots up a theater full of Star Wars fans and gauarantees that Trump wins the election
>>63749008
They knew they had plenty of time thoughl. It's common knowledge that eurocuck police are unprepared and unarmed buffoons. Why do guy think they complain so much when our cops justifiably shoot negroes? They aren't used to such power
>>63750213
with muslim average IQ of 81 they are most likely to shoot up alvin and the chipmunks and ruin trump's campaign even more
>>63750291
>All those pissed off kids who wanted to see Star Wars but had shitty parents who didn't buy tickets early
>Shot to death along with their shithead parents
I'd only feel bad for the kids listening to chipmunks singing Uptown Funk during their massacre
>>63749331
>everything I don't like is a meme
Stay salty, cUcK
>>63749779
Is this real?
>>63750795
yes it's real I'm that tranny and I can confirm
RIP that guy
