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Which Star Wars film am I describing here?
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An astromech droid arrives on a lawless desert planet, and having gotten plans crucial to the survival of a noble galactic organization Leia Organa helps spearhead, it goes off and is found by a desert dweller with latent Force potential. After that droid leaves, the place he escaped from is burned to the ground by the ruthless stormtroopers of an Imperial, tyrannical organization, who are hunting said information. The organization is headed by a psychopathic military officer and a black robed/masked, red lightsaber-wielding Dark Side Force user. The aforementioned desert dweller is eventually followed by said Imperial organization and escapes using the Millennium Falcon. With the help of an old, wizened and knowledgeable mentor figure who explains the truth and the lore behind the Force and the Jedi, the desert dweller finds out about the history of their family and of their Force-related abilities around the time they enter a den of aliens, smugglers, criminals and the like. Eventually, the desert dweller and mentor find themselves on a gargantuan, spherical superweapon capable of destroying celestial bodies. On said superweapon, the old, wizened mentor comes face to face with the Dark Side, black-garbed Force user, who he used to be a father figure and friend towards. The old, wizened mentor putting up no defense, the Force user cuts him down with his lightsaber. Though only having known him for a couple days at most, the desert dweller is distraught. Eventually, after a trench run involving X-wings and TIE fighters, the spherical superweapon is incapacitated before the genocidal military officer can use it. The desert dweller, having finally used the Force, has saved the day, though the Dark Side Force user lives on and the Imperial organization will almost certainly strike back at some point.
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Fear not, though! The desert dweller will soon be off to a remote planet where an old Jedi Master waits in self-imposed exile to teach them the ways of the Force in preparation for their eventual battle against the Dark Sider and his master, the head of the Imperial organization, a mysterious, robed, pale, wrinkled, ugly, old man who is very powerful in the Dark Side of the Force.
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>>63711280
Mark hamill is not ugly though
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>>63711260
Jesus Christ.

I'm almost glad this happened as the meme's and copy-pasta will never. get. old.
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>>63711260

GLIB

FACSIMILE
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I just threw up in my mouth

I'm going to be cuddling my EU novels closely till the end of my days
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>>63711260
The Force Awakens is almost prequel tier tbqh family
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Forgot to mention: the Dark Side Force User mentally tortures and interrogates the person who placed the crucial plans inside the escaped astromech droid.
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>>63711260
IT'S
LIKE
POTTERY
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I feel cheated, It's a formulated piece of shit
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>>63711616
I basically agree. The Prequels were actually better though, simply because they had artistic integrity, originality, and most importantly - heart.
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OOH, another thing I forgot to mention.

The self-exiled Jedi Master? He helped teach the ways of the Force to the black-garbed Dark Sid Force User! He failed in his quest, though, as his pupil, obviously, was seduced by said Dark Side.
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J.J. turned to the Dark Side to redeem Lucas' reputation. That's why Kylo looks like Revan.
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>>63711729
It's a sad fucking day when this is true.
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>>63711727
Did you really expect anything different from Disney? I hope you use this as an opportunity to grow the fuck up and stop caring about kids movies.
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>>63711729
This is actually pretty true. Whether good/bad/selling toys, Lucas still cared about the story and stuck around for every Star Wars movie.

JJ is leaving after one, and they're replacing each screenwriter/director after every movie.
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Not to mention that the Dark Side Force User is actually a Skywalker who changed his name in accordance with the traditions of the order of Dark Siders he belongs to.
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Star Wars: A Glib Fascimile.
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>>63711260
Thread replies: 19
Thread images: 2

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