>3 rotten reviews
>>63702721
Fuck off with your manchildren's shit.
ids over
hahaha
IT'S ONLY 99%
FUCKING SHIT MOVIE
WE DID IT /v/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS CANT BE HAPENING
THIS IS BULLSHIT!
>>63702721
>only 3
m80, every "fresh" review says the exact same thing with a more apologetic tone.
>>63702765
The negative ones say the same thing as the majority, just in a more negative tone, and both of them are saying absolutely nothing new:
It's a rehash, but it's a fun rehash, which we knew at least since a month back.
>>63702805
that sounds ok to me desu. At least JJ is tonally correct for star wars I guess.
>>63702805
>it's okay when Star Wars does it
>>63702805
just like Star Trek and Mission Impossible III
>>63702751
3 bad reviews in the first hour, regardless of how many paid positive reviews there are, is not a good thing you idiot. It's dropping to 87%, screen cap this
>>63702721
I am shocked because salon is such a liberal shithole I figured they'd give it a 5 for just being progressive.
>>63702988
no gay characters desu
>>63702982
I'm not sure what 'blockbustered' means and it doesn't sound like something good
>>63703022
It's a bizarre thing to say about a Star Wars movie, since the first one invented blockbusters(along with Jaws)
>>63703022
I think he means turned into the next transformers/avengers/fast and furious
>>63703022
>>63703050
i think it should be neo-blockbustered
people dont care about the film, only the act of seeing it now
>>63702721
>SALON
>Turning on a chosen like Abrams
The Rabbi is going to hear about this
here's the other one
>Roger Moore
>Random Asian Geek
>Salon.com
I really value these opinions
>>63702805
It's a pretty major rehash
It's one thing to reference or pay homage to another movie but the basic plot for this is the same shit
>Orphan on desert planet who has the potential to wield the force, his/her home gets razed to the ground
>It's Rey instead of Luke, it's Jakku instead of Tatooine
>Cute droid companion
>It's BB-8 instead of R2D2
>A fascist empire
>It's the First Order instead of the Empire
>A dark jedi with a unique lightsaber and a sith lord pulling the strings
>It's Kylo Ren instead of Darth Vader, it's Snoke instead of Sheev
>A rebellion against the empire
>It's called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion
>A death star that gets blown up
>A twist involving family relations
>Stormtroopers come back
>X wings come back
>Chewbacca and Han Solo come back
>>63703152
>not paid shills
then you should, don't listen to big corporation reviews
>>63702721
Jew Jew on FULL SUICIDE WATCH
>>63703164
except it wont matter to 99% of viewers because she is really cute and the movie is exciting and well paced.
>There’s a movie to see when you get into the theater, all right, and I had a lot of fun watching it with a psyched-up crowd who cheered the theme music
Sounds like he really hated it
>Here’s what Star Wars: The Force Awakens needed to accomplish: it needed to be better than the Prequels, and it is. It needed to introduce an iconic new set of heroes, and it did. Finally it needed to be at least a good movie, and it pretty much squeaks to this level. The Force Awakens is not a great movie by any means, especially in a year where two other returns to 70s franchises were absolute home runs. It’s not as good as any of the Original Trilogy, but it’s better than all of the Prequels. It’s got all the flaws that make JJ Abrams films frustrating to me, but it also has all of the positive aspects that make his best films very watchable. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is okay, and it leaves us in a place that makes me hopeful for the future of the series.
Seeing this in pretty much every review;
>Basically a remake
>Better than the prequels
>Good enough as it's own film
>>63703240
AT LEAST IT'S NOT THE PREQUELS
>>63703217
>97%
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL STAR WARS IS OVEEEEER
>>63703217
rekt
What I thought to myself is this: Why couldn't they just copy the broad story outline of the Jedi Academy games?
I mean there you basically start as a Padawan in Luke's Jedi temple. That way, you get what people liked most: the lightsabers and you can have Mark Hamill. After the first half of the movie, you could have some shit happening and the temple getting razed. Our heros then have to get some magic force thingie and uncover a new Sith threat.
There, enough stuff for a trilogy and something that isn't "look, we remade a new hope".
>>63702721
First time Salon has ever said something agreeable.
This movie was basically a remake for a newer generation.
>>63703300
It's not over yet, but after the 5th or 6th time, it will be.
>This year's entry continues the bombastic onslaught of space action you've come to expect from the series but it definitely wore out its welcome 2 years ago. I could barely stay awake past the opening space battle. 9.5/10, loved the diversity in casting.
>>63703022
more like exploited, catch my drift? Even the reviewer says it lacks the Lucas feel.
If you have watched any of the Star Trek films, you'd understand how JJ has no idea what he is doing
>>63702805
fun is a buzzword
wait wait wait
the black guy isn't the main character? it'd the girl?
plz respond
kinda disappointed if thats the case Tbh, considering all the fuss about him
>>63703311
Because they copied the story of the product that made the most money.
>>63703311
that game probably had a more involving, personal and "epic" story than this and managing to not bind too much to formula
>>63703382
>BUH BUH ALL MUH SPINOFF MOVIES
lel Bob Iger must be already stuffing the cash into suitcases and looking for a carribean island to jet off to when it all comes crumbling down.
>>63703370
>This movie was basically a remake for the tumblr generation.
ftfy senpai
Also can confirm that it is a remake disguised as a sequel.
the original trilogy came out over 30 years ago, the point of this particular film is to reintroduce the franchise to a new generation and remind the moviegoing public why star wars was so popular to begin with, cutting out the bullshit and cgi stereotypes of the prequels. this one is basically a reboot leading into the actual story in 8 & 9
tl;dr this is all part of disney's plan
>>63703409
Just came back from watching it in IMAX - Rey is deffo the overaching main protag, destined to be 'muh new hope' for the light side.
>>63703240
>'at least it isnt the prequels' is enough to get this a 97%
I am not okay with this.
>>63703311
Because anything other than a rehash in Abrams and Disney's eyes is tryhard dumb shit. Also, them using those storylines means paying to the authors so expect actually getting those characters but with a completely different name/design/race/gender/etc.
>>63703526
And Disney's plan is shit. If I wanted to see a new hope I'd watch a new hope. A remake of a movie I watched years ago is not enough to get my ass into the cinema.
>>63703311
I like how the Star Wars video games were more original, even though they echoed a lot of the same beats from the original trilogy
So the general consensus is this is a more childish remake of A New Hope? It adds nothing to the story does it? They just made this movie to sell merchandise. Fuck this shit, all the hype for nothing.
>>63703526
So you're completely ok with rehashing stories?
>8 will be original content i promise
Off yourself.
>>63702988
implying diversity in advertising, movies, etc. is anything but marketing to the widest possible audience and that it actually changes anything.
>>63703533
Considering 50 no-other-review blog reviews were posted within minutes of the embargo lifting, there's no real saying how the non-marketers will review the movie.
>>63703240
>It needed to introduce an iconic new set of heroes, and it did
whoever wrote that is and idiot. it introduced a stinky ugly nigger and retarded-looking english whore. these simply cannot be iconic heroes, and Jew Jew's awful casting decisions will be a strain on the next two films unfortunately.
>HURR IM A FUCKING STORMFAG RACIST WHO HATES THE NEW STAR WARS FOR POLITICAL AND RACIST REASONS HOW CAN I LEGITIMIZE MY CRITICISM TO LE BLUEPILLED SHEEPLE I KNOW ILL LATCH ON TO THE FIRST NO-NAME ATTENTION-WHORING HACK WHO WRITES A MILDLY CRITICAL VIEW OF THE MOVIE TO JUSTIFY MY INSANE RACIST, ANTI-SEMITIC, SEXIST BELIEFS TO ANONYMOUS STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET
FUCK OFF THIS CRITICISM ISN'T EVEN LEGAL ON THIS BOARD GO THE FUCK BACK TO /POL
>>63703526
As much as this will piss of harcore fans, this movie really isn't aimed at them.
This movie is introducing Star Wars to a new generation, while throwing a few fanservice elements so the harcore fans won't bitch too much about it.
Episode 8 and 9 will be the real deal.
>>63703526
that's a weak excuse
everyone knows what star wars is, unless they're trying to reintroduce it to literal babies it's pointless
>>63703570
The childish remake of A New Hope is called Return of the Jedi. It's a bigger badder Death Star plus cute teddie bears.
Let's not forget that A New Hope was just a childish remake of The Hidden Fortress.
>>63703584
>>63703584
>the city of you
Can someone say how Starkiller base works? Is it an orbiting planet or does it have a hyperdrive?
If it's an orbiting planet, how does its laser travel through hyperspace to reach other star systems?
>>63703590
Stop making excuses for this garbage. You sound like a fucking battered wife.
>>63702721
>The only one in 4chan's side is Salon.com
WE LIVE IN BIZARRO WORLD
>>63703553
>>63703574
I agree with you, does make me wonder what lucas' original idea for 7 was but this is obviously disney's plan to get star wars going again like it or not. hopefully 8 & 9 are original content and not ripoffs of empire and jedi
>>63703584
so fierce! ;)
>>63703656
I'm not making excuses.
I don't like it either, but it is what it is.
>>63702721
>3 rotten reviews
WOW WHAT A CONSENSUS SHUT IT DOWN JJ'S FINISHED YOU FUCKING IDIOTS ARE RETARDED
>>63702765
There is no need to be apoplectic. Casper knew this.
>>63703698
oops I thought I put the spoiler tag on it
>>63703590
>Episode 8 and 9 will be the real deal.
Yeah like in the prequels.
>>63703584
/pol/tards can go choke on a black dick but everyone who has the slightest interest in movies should too want this rehashed shit to go fuck itself. Where's the fucking ambition??
>>63702982
>watch if... you want to stay relevant
The Facebook generation sucks. The fucking "like, share and subscribe" generation.
Anyone here old enough to remember reviews at the time for A New Hope? I didn't think so.
>a set of giant baubles manipulated by an infant mind.
>I sincerely hope that science and scientists differ from science fiction and its practitioners. Heaven help us if they don't: We may be headed for a very boring world indeed. Strip Star Wars of its often striking images and its high-falutin scientific jargon, and you get a story, characters, and dialogue of overwhelming banality, without even a "future" cast to them. Human beings, anthropoids, or robots, you could probably find them all, more or less like, that, in downtown Los Angeles today...
>O dull new world! We are treated to a galactic civil war, assorted heroes and villains, a princely maiden in distress, a splendid old man surviving from an extinct order of knights who possessed a mysterious power called "the Force," and it is all as exciting as last year's weather reports.... Why, even the most exciting fight is an old-fashioned duel, for all that the swords have laser beams for blades....
>Here it is all trite characterization and paltry verbiage... The one exception is Alec Guinness as the grand old man Ben Kenobi. Still, Star Wars will do very nicely for those lucky enough to be children or unlucky enough never to have grown up.
>>63702721
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVJzibVS2YM
>>63702721
>salon.com
So a site that disagrees with 99.9% of everything you stand for is suddenly okay because they gave Star Wars a negative review?
Protip: they didn't criticize it because there was a black man and a woman in it? If anything they probably thought it wasn't diverse enough.
>>63703698
RIP Indiana Jones.
>>63703584
>Shit movie gets BTFO
HURRRRRRRR DURRRRRRRRR
>IT'S RACISM
>IT'S SEXISM
>IT'S THIS
>IT'S THAT
>NICK NACK PADDY WACK
Every fucking time lel
Just give up sad act, your day and has been and gone, you are sounding like a broken record now.
The new era of Nihilism is upon us, adapt or go die in the corner.
>>63702751
>Implying /v/ isn't the audience for this movie
Nice try, /v/eddit manchild.
>>63702751
>le its star wars so it must be perfect :DD
You realize when the hype is up for a movie the first people who see it will inflate how good the movie was x10000? I'm sure people have a similar reaction to episode 3. It'll calm down, and the real quality of the film will shine through in a week or two, so fuck off manchild
>>63703698
lmao so that pastebin was actually true
holy shit, the movie is actually that bad, lmao again f@m tbqh
>>63703739
Theres a reason the people that idolize star wars so much were kids when it came out, they were at the right age for it to capture them.
Star Wars...really isnt that good.
>>63703747
>So a site that disagrees with 99.9% of everything you stand for
Huh? Don't project at me, kid.
>>63703723
Well this one isn't as bad as episode 1, so here's hoping that the next ones will be better.
>hurr I'm rooting for something to be bad so I can say how bad it is and laugh at the bad people that like bad things
grow up and get a hobbie
lolol glib ficsamile
>>63703628
>>63703680
>>63703729
>>63703756
DUDE RACISM HOMOPHOBIA SEXISM ANTISEMITISM LMAO
>>63703570
Aye, its a glib facsimile of a new hope.
>2015
>being a cuck who let's another man's opinion determine whether they watch a movie or not
Just shut the fuck up and watch the movie.
Why doesn't Vader just follow Leia to the Rebel base? Why start firing at her and stop her from leading him to where he wants to go?
Why does Obi Wan just whip out his lightsaber in Mos Eisely? Surely he's trying to be subtle here, he's trying to avoid attracting attention so taking out his lightsaber and cutting off someone's hand when an old Jedi mind trick would've worked (or just leaving the room).
Why is the Death Star still hovering next to Alderaan after destroying it? Shouldn't they be off to Dantooine? Or anywhere else? They even have a TIE out on recon for some reason.
When Obi Wan manages to casually stroll around the Death Star, why doesn't he sabotage it in some way? He's able to turn off the tractor beam, why not permanently damage some vital parts? He has a lightsaber to help him, as well.
Similarly, R2 has prolonged access to the mainframe computer of the Death Star. Also he does is use a map and open a door, though.
Then, as they escape, Leia mentions that they're being followed. At this point they could go to another port, quickly change ships, do a diversion of some sort, anything. Instead they think "ah fuck it" and just lead the Imperials right to their base. If there was no weakness revealed in the Death Star plans - perfectly possible - then she's just caused the defeat of the Rebels and the last spark of hope for freedom in the galaxy.
Don't forget, she made that choice yet made no attempt or even suggestion that they might do something while actually inside the thing they're trying to destroy.
>>63703872
all normal, rational, and healthy feelings to have lmao.
>butthurt samefagging
the force has finally awakened
The Star Wars video games give so much source material to work with. Often better than the movies themselves, with backgrounds about the Sith and what not.
Why on earth would they have to make a rehash?
>>63703872
DUDE I'M FROM TUMBLR, 4CHAN SHOULD BE A SAFE SPACE LMAO
>>63703949
Casuals don't like quality, they like formulaic tripe.
>>63703915
Also, it's comical how the Imperials just let the escape pod go. "No life signs" they say. Well is the Death Star plan alive? No? Then what the fuck do life signs matter? Also, this is a galaxy with millions of droids all over the place. As soon as they tell Vader this he just says "The plans must be on board". Well he just instantly figures it out yet doesn't seem surprised or angry that his subordinates didn't.
Let's look at what no life signs from the pod could mean:
>The plans are on board
>The plans are on board carried by the incredibly commonplace droids
>by complete and utter coincidence, an escape pod accidentally launched and headed to a nearby planet
And let's talk about that. What a fucking huge coincidence that Leia got boarded RIGHT as they were next to Tatooine, Obi Wan's homeworld. Not only that, but imagine I'm in space and launch a pod at Earth. It's got a letter in it for you. Now what are the chances it'll land in the same country, let alone that it'll land near enough to find its way to you in a day or two?
I like how an untrained nobody BTFOs a trained dark side user twice because the empowerful womyn can't lose even a single battle to the Evil White Male
>>63703872
Like I say, people like you have used the words so much to get your way and crush those in your way they have no impact or meaning anymore.
Your movement was so sure of it's power that it forgot to see the condemened were slowly being made the majority.
You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man
And now your time has is coming to an end to be a footnore in history and like the Sith those of us who waited for our time will rise in your ashes.
>>63703100
B-BECAUSE THEY'RE THE BAD GUYS
>>63703584
I love BBC: the post
>>63702982
>c'mon, of course you're seeing Star Wars
When people say this it makes me NOT want to see it
![cabin-in-the-woods-mike-stoklasa-half-in-the-bag_0[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GJzWPPO.jpg "cabin-in-the-woods-mike-stoklasa-half-in-the-bag_0[1].jpg")
>mfw Mike "gas the jews" Stoklasa is literally credited for fixing the light saber fights in one of the reviews
I don't believe it
>>63704043
so epic i feel enlightened by your intelligence right now those sheeple dont know whats coming right you are such a vanguard intellectual of the new renaissance
>>63704073
the british broadcasting corporation has been a fixture of british society for generations, and the united kingdom is better for it
>>63703584
Jesus Cate, maybe you should just stay on tumblr if you're going to get this much triggered here.
>>63704004
i'm like 90% sure someone says they don't want to blow up the pod because they want to follow the death star plans straight to the rebel base
Looks like someone made his Edge of the Empire Mary Sue backstory into a movie.
>>63702721
I hate reviews like this. He doesn't even say anything particularly bad about the movie, just that it won't be a lasting classic that embeds itself self into every aspect of culture for the next thirty years. It's not the best movie ever made, therefore its bad. It's just a fucking lazy excuse to be a contrarian.
>>63703022
The white male reviewer's brain is used to taking nouns like black or blockbuster and turning them into verbs in his head. Boyega and Ridley's great 'performance' only solidified what was already a well established neural pathway in his brain
>>63704133
>people like this visit 4chan
You'd think /pol/ would have scared them off.
>>63703747
>So a site that disagrees with 99.9% of everything you stand for is suddenly okay because they gave Star Wars a negative review?
Yes. I disagree with 90% of their shit but this particular review is spot-on. You see, unlike you and most libshits I am not dogmatic.
If someone who disagrees with me 99% of time is right with one thing I'm going to agree with it and not say it's wrong out of principle.
You need to do some growing up.
>>63703164
If the dialogue doesn't suck I'm game.
>>63704248
>b-but it's a GOOD lazy rehash!
fuck off
>>63704133
>this is where the cuckspam and whinning about "racism" comes from
Go figure.
>>63704248
You know that's not the full review, right?
>>63704133
>Tumblr Editor
wat
>>63703164
>>It's called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion
literally why
>>63704356
Because of implications.
Ressistance means you "resist" agressions from something and rebellion means you actively rebell against your goverment.
We don't want to get the wrong ideas into people's heads, right?
>>63704353
She runs their tumblr
>>63703590
Uh oh. Did I end up in a time machine that took me back to 1999?
Yeah...the little kid and the pod racing was really to bring in a new generation of fans. The next two can only go up from here.
I'm telling you they will get better.
>Episode 8 and 9 will be the real deal.
What about 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, etc? At what point is it okay to call these movies out on being shit?
>>63704133
>tumblr
>buzzfeed
>xd the game
kill yourself cate
>>63704457
>At what point is it okay to call these movies out on being shit?
At the point where you actually watched them Jesus Christ
>>63704133
>43.1K Tweets
Do these people have lives?
>>63703915
I feel like something that's often overlooked is the statistical likelihood that R2D2 lands in a random location on Tatooine and actually somehow reaches Obi Wan.
It would be like me putting a note in a bottle and casting it into the ocean, and the first person to find it (if anyone ever sees it again) is the intended recipient.
>>63702751
kek
>>63703526
>the point of this particular film is to reintroduce the franchise to a new generation and remind the moviegoing public why star wars was so popular to begin with,
by literally remaking ANH, except shittier
>>63704534
why the fuck does obi wan's force ghost appear in front of luke on hoth? dumb writing all around
and he literally just appears to tell luke where to go to progress the plot, gosh what a great game
>>63702721
This is the work of a talented mimic or ventriloquist who can just about cover for the fact that he has nothing much to say.
>nothing much to say
glib
>work of a talented mimic or ventiloquist
simulacrum
THE BAD REVIEWS ALL HAVE THE SAME CRITICISM
IT'S A SHALLOW COPY OF THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY
>>63702982
>2.5/5
>fresh
hmmmmm. Are disney twisting the arm of rotten tomatoes?
>>63702721
I hope this isn't a rehash of a new hope that people are fellating.
>>63703240
>two other returns to 70s franchises
Fury Road and...?
>>63703747
>I'm mad because a black person is in a movie
>>63704758
Spectre is the closest I can think of
>>63704626
RT is owned by flixster, flixster is owned by time warner. Time warner and disney are practically the same company at this point.
>>63704803
That makes sense.
>>63704774
It's not because he's black, it's that he is there to push an agenda.
A good example of a black character in Star Wars would be Lando.
Lando wasn't a main character
Lando was suave and didn't have a monkey face
Lando was well written and being the only nigger gave him an exotic side, which matched his cockiness.
A full blown out negroid as Lando would have been a catastrophy.
Lando wasn't there to push multiculturalism.
Lando wasn't there to push interracial sex
Lando was just that negro in the background being chill and all
>>63702751
Phantom Menace got rave reviews when it first came out too.
Like I've been saying all along: Force Awakens will get a glowing reaction in the first week or so. Wait a month for real reactions to surface.
>>63702805
>its a fun rehash
>its a [something i enjoy] rehash
HOW DO YOU KNOW IT IS FUN BEFORE YOU EVEN EXPERIENCE IT
FUN IS NOT AN OBJECTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE QUALITY, IT IS A SUBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF PERSONAL ENJOYMENT
>>63703050
It didn't invent blockbusters
It invented blockbusters for kids with toys merchandising though
>>63704890
Because it looks fun from the trailers, and because even people who rated it negatively admitted it's fun.>>63703234
http://www.comingsoon.net/movies/reviews/641397-star-wars-the-force-awakens-review
>8/10
>If you were to say that a lot of “The Force Awakens” was a retread of “A New Hope,” I’d reluctantly have to agree with you.
> But, if I had to rank the films at this exact moment, I’d go:
1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. A New Hope
3. Return of the Jedi
4. The Force Awakens
5. Revenge of the Sith
6. Attack of the Clones
7. The Phantom Menace
>>63704923
WHAT PART OF PERSONAL ENJOYMENT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?
>>63704962
>I wasn't raped today, so it was a 10/10 day.
This is really just a statement of how bad the prequels were.
>>63704962
Swap 2 and 3 and we've got a deal.
All i want to say is there is no disapointments. so stop the bashing of episode 7, and start the bashing and flames of 4lvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (4 is a replacement to A)
(You can spread my word over 4chan as a weapon to kill the Cash Cow Franchise)
>>63703659
Turns out 4chan is on the wrong side after all.
>>63703698
What kind of person do you need to be to whip out your phone while the most climactic moment in the movie is happening, only to post it online and potentially ruin the movie for everybody else?
Disappointing that they weren't more ambitious with the plot.
I will still see it but I guess it won't be very memorable.
I just reviewed it on imdb. Doubt it'll be published though. Keep in mind that I haven't seen the film.
>>63705243
Damn, kid. You're normie as fuck.
>I must admit I was sceptic at first about the series re-boot. Notwithstanding JJ Abrams excellent track record in terms of the irrepresible excitement he instills in the genre of action adventure sci-fi thrillers, his work in the continuation of the epic far away galaxy saga has been nothing short of jaw droppingly astounding.
>I have been utterly dislight-sabred by his work and can do no else but rise enthustiastically and excitedly to applaud this simply brilliant effort by what has become one of the industry's leading minds for some time to come.
>In the theater the anticipation hung heavily in the air, like the sense of foreboding that accompanies an excursion into the murky swamps of Dagobah.
>But what a film it was, once it started. How we cheered when our heroes of old showed their faces once more onscreen. How we shouted when we the bad guy made his entrance for the first time. How we applauded when, in a scene of masterful technical cinematic know-how, our new-found friends, the real protagonists of Star Wars MK.III, use a beloved space ship of far gone times to elude the pursuit of the evil antagonist. Well, it's all a day's work really for those magnificent people in their warp-flying machines.
>I could and would go on but the simple thought of spoiling but one minute of this wholly unique cinematic masterpiece by blabbering on about some plot point reduces me to tears.
>Please, go and see the movie, buy the merchandise, and tell everyone the good news. The force awakens once more!!!
>>63705243
literally reddit: the post
>>63704842
Is this true? I mean... I'd believe it, but I just wish someone would prove Disney pays off reviewers
>>63702721
>salon.com
I guess the movie didn't spend enough time talking about the importance of racial and gender equality and/or forgot to call conservatives evil.
>>63705294
>go and see the movie, buy the merchandise, and tell everyone the good news
I wonder who's behind this review
WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KILL OFF HAN FUCK THIS GAY EARTH
>>63705396
It's what he wanted anon
>>63705413
FUCK WHAT HE WANTS IT'S WHAT THE FANS WANT
HE COULD HAVE MADE MORE MONEY TOO
>>63703761
This. Everyone is riding the high of lightsabers and the Star Wars theme being back. It's like the new car smell. You have to give it at least 2 weeks to settle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSaaa_OBkzw
>>63705472
>there's no way this is going to be a disappointment
>are there any of you that think this is going to be a lousy movie?
>>63705294
Who wrote this?
>>63705317
you tell me. Would you say 2.5/5 is fresh on that website?
>>63705742
No, but still there has to be more proof.
Over the past year I've noticed all of the film reviews I used to watch on YouTube seem to have become Disney shills and I need to know if I'm just seeing things of it is accurate.
>>63704148
You're wrong faggot.
>>63705742
The reviewer chooses.
>>63705797
I doubt they're being paid off but Disney have bought alot of companies lately. Theres a good chance someone high up on rotten tomatoes has set the 'fresh' threshold rating on certain films to be lower than others
>>63704878
it'll be sitting at 85% in the end
mark these words
>>63702721
I mean what do people expect? This movie sucks ofc. It's because it's not necessary to do a lot of work to make this movie a hit. The name Star Wars is enough. Even if i directed this movie and it was a complete disaster it would make lots and lots of fucking money and it would get lots and lots of good reviews. It's basically nostalgia and marketing at this point.
>>63703240
>two other returns to 70s franchises were absolute home runs
What?
>>63705998
Like someone said, it could be two hours of pure interracial porn and it still would sell out because of brand name alone
>>63705472
literally phantom menace all over again
>>63705472
>that tweeked out junkie dressed up as darth maul
>>63703526
Fuck you, the first Star Wars movie I ever saw was episode 1 and I loved it. I was about 8 or 9. I thought the Jar Jar, Pod Racing, the giant droid battle in that field, and all of the political shit with the Queen abs the senate was cool as hell. I loved the opening scene on the ship too.
There's literally nothing wrong with episode 1 as a KIDS MOVIE, if you first saw the originals when you were an adult instead of a child you'd think they were cliche and juvenile like episode 1. Take off the nostalgia goggles and imagine seeing episode 1 as an 8 year old.
>>63705472
What's psychologically interesting is that you can see all the people who try to convince themselves they liked it shaking their head while claiming it's great.
They know they are lying to themsleves and their subconcious is shaking their head while they blabber on how "great" it was.
>>63706173
>Take off the nostalgia goggles and imagine seeing episode 1 as an 8 year old.
You mean put on the nostalgia glasses for the prequels right? people can't seem to take off their nostalgia goggles for OT
>>63705472
>people who hold their cigs like this
Found a new thing I really hate. Thanks
>>63703526
>apologizing for no creativity and no plot
>>63706173
Strong and accurate
>>63706204
What was it with the 90s and round sunglasses? Makes you look like a psycho killer.
>>63706248
Matrix shit
>>63706260
That was a thing before matrix even.
>>63706293
Before the Matrix it was celebrities like Ozzy Osbourne.
And then animefags got dragged in through shit like Trigun and Hellsing
>>63702982
>watch it if you want to stay relevant
what a pathetic, enslaved generation
>>63706293
>>63706248
theres good reason they look like psycho killers
>>63704133
These people are our janitors
>>63706248
Qu'est-ce que c'est
>>63706173
Yeah I was like 10, only ever had known the 1997 SE VHS at that point. Got Episode 1 on tape and fell in love. I'm not a big fan of 2 or 3, but that podracing, political bs, and Coruscant landscapes got me. Anakin was an angsty dork even at that age, but I seriously enjoy episode 1.
>>63706322
>Trigun
Trigun is older than matrix.
>>63706442
But Trigun is not older than Ozzy Osbbourne
>>63706381
FAFAFAFAFAFAFAR FAR FAR BETTER
>>63704285
I'm pretty sure they come BECAUSE of /pol/. They come to be enraged, it confirms their views of the world. Of course they skip the part where anons find poltards to be annoying when they try to push their shit out of their contention board, but meh, they come here to be offended.
>>63706173
Agree with everything but the political crap.
It's fucking mind numbing as a kid. They're just sitting and talking. I don't know what's going on. Dad doesn't know what's going on. Nothing exciting happens, no sweeping legislation, no sudden change of alliance or political back stabbing. Christ.
>>63703584
go back to reddit cuck
>>63706248
>>63706381
>>63706485
I really wish John Simon could review this film. It would be a meme goldmine.
>>63706173
The politics of the situation made no sense.
>>63703100
BECAUSE GOY DONT YOU KNOW THE NAZI-- I MEAN FIRST ORDER WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
YOUR NOT BEING AN ANTI SEMI- RESISTANCE ARE YOU?
>>63703404
Buzzword is a buzzword (is a buzzword).
>>63704878
Out of the Top Critics, all but a couple of whom reviewed the movie when it came out, Phantom Menace has a 41% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Can we stop the lie that Phantom Menace got rave reviews? It didn't.
>>63702954
(You)
>>63704866
Do you want only want black people in Star Wars that you want to fuck? Cause that's how you guys sound like. Oh he's ugly. Who gives a fuck? We got Jabba the fucking Hutt running around in that universe. Grown men complaining about how a dude looks in a movie. You guys gotta be gay.
>>63705472
>Kid Anakin stole that movie
>>63705472
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKXlhpeb6wI
just saw it, it wasn't bad, but wasn't completely awful
but let's be honest star wars is a shitty movie franchise
>>63703100
JJ is a fucking hack, don't believe the hype
>>63710264
>it wasn't bad, but wasn't completely awful
Was the first "wasn't" supposed to be a "was"?
Because "wasn't completely awful" feels like a very redundant statement otherwise.
>>63702982
This guy writes like such a douche. He deserves to have a shitty name pike "Matt Patches."
/sp/artan here
You guys got btfo hard jesus christ lmao
>>63703022
Star Wars invented the modern blockbuster formula but it came from the heart. This one came from cynical boardroom decisions to ape the first to a T.
Something like that
Reminder that even if you were born in the 80s you're still a millennial
>>63702982
>you want to stay relevant
what the fug :DDD
>>63710463
says the millennial
>>63709833
>Do you want only want black people in Star Wars that you want to fuck?
yes, exactly this. the lack of fine ass mocha skinned beauties with big tits is borderline racism.
>>63710549
>being older than 30 and still posting on 4chun
>>63706564
"I move for a Vote of No Confidence in Chancellor Valorum's leadership."
the fuck more do you want?
>>63710603
>being younger than 30 and not doing anything all day but updating your facebook status
>>63710603
>being older than 21 and still posting on 4chan
You can drink alcohol now anon, go have a life.
>>63705472
>my heart was beating
>it is still beating
>>63703164
>Stormtroopers come back
>X wings come back
These are the things that prove the movie was only made to pander to the "I know who Darth Vader is I'm such a geek XD" crowd.
It's been fucking 30 years since the Empire fell and they're still using X-Wings and the Stormtroopers still have their retarded uniforms.
JJ and Kasdan can't into world building.
>>63706248
Image is wrong. More accurate version:
What you think you look like:
> John Lennon
What you actually look like:
> Doctor Robotnik
>>63703240
>"at least it's not the prequels"
>JJ's best films
>implying even those are watchable
>literal rehash of A New Hope
>97%
I want millenials to die.
>>63705472
That guy at the end knew all along.
>>63710463
1982, and I don't know what the hell is going on anymore.
I grew up with a 1200bps modem on an Apple II so I guess I fit that millennial "technology everywhere" thing, but it used to be like "don't tell anyone online that your real name is Bob."
The people I think of as millennials decided to say nuts to that and broadcast videos of themselves bitching about shit in their actual bedrooms.
Those of us xXxDARKNEZZ69xXx types don't understand the "Hi I'm Jill and I'm talking to you from my kitchen here on 123 Palm Lane" crowd. Do they just want to be doxxed?
>>63703584
it's a fucking salon article, are you really blaming /pol/ for this?
>>63711263
>Do they just want to be doxxed?
The fear of being doxxed doesn't exist if everyone is being open about who they are from the start
>>63705472
>people were waiting for this for like 16 years
>>63706343
RDJ's best movie.
>>63711263
This >>63711632
The mere fact you think about doxxing is quite telling. I'm a youngling but that stuff doesn't even come to the minds of the vast majority of people in my generation.
>>63703164
>Empire falls
>no one decides to form any new government or do anything
>emoire just comes back a few years later
>has a different name for some reason despite being exactly the same in all but it's leaders
JewJew 'Abrahamic religion' Abrams is a fucking hack.
>>63704758
Creed
![miraculous-tales.of.ladybug.and.cat.noir.s01e05.readnfo.720p.hdtv.x264-w4f.mkv_snapshot_03.48_[2015.12.14_21.08.35].png](https://i.imgur.com/891M1bQ.jpg "miraculous-tales.of.ladybug.and.cat.noir.s01e05.readnfo.720p.hdtv.x264-w4f.mkv_snapshot_03.48_[2015.12.14_21.08.35].png")
>caring what reviewers say
With PR campaign this fucking big, I wouldn't be surprised if Disney bought almost every critic/aggregator
>>63703473
yes and also because you could play as a Twi'lek
being brave enough to start casting aliens as protagonists is the real SJW issue for star wars
>Considering what a precedent-setting franchise the original Star Wars was, it is not a little disheartening that this new installment does not blaze its own path, but rather rehashes its former glories for our approval.
This expectation is retarded. The next Star Wars will be something completley different that takes the world by surprise. Like something 4D or holograms with a old fashioned story updated for the present.
Star Wars is Star Wars the Franchise now, you can't replicated what the original movie was in 1977.
>>63705396
>>63705448
He wanted his character to have been killed off in empire you fucking cuck
>mfw during the movie
>>63702805
had this been any other franchise, it would not get so many positive reviews
people are afraid to judge this movie negatively
- strong womyn, mary sue, i need no man
- hol up hol up, hoooh shieet, hell naw
- literally the same story as A New Hope
- shitty jokes everwhere, i prefer having jarjar as containment
- Rey goes from a random shitter to a better jedi than Luke (ROTJ edition) in ~1 day
I knew this movie was going to be bad, but didn't except it to be worse than The Phantom Menace.
It's really really bad guys.
>>63702721
I knew it. This is JUST the type of rehash I was expecting, it's nothing but a glib facsimile.
If Star Wars was all I had access to as a child in terms of sci-fi I probably would become one of those crazy fanboys, but thankfully I had access to anime from very early on in my youth years that my mental balance is very stable.
Seriously, if you have watched Akira, you'd realize just how sophisticated anime is and it blows away anything Star Wars would have to offer.
A lot of people mention Ghost In The Shell, which has just enough of sexuality in the mix to draw in the western audience I suppose but I must say that Ghost In The Shell is not even in my top 10 anime, not even close, that's just how deep the world of anime is.
Some anime is so disturbingly mature like Fractale that I wish it would challenge the system and submit it as a Drama category in the Oscars just to bitchslap the snotty Academy.
It's not just the level of maturity and sophistication anime has, it's also quite original, entertaining, and visually fantastic. I would regard anime as the highest form of cinema art-form.
But hey, me preaching about anime won't do you any good, you gotta go out and see it for yourself just how much you are missing.
The recent one I would recommend to check out is Sword Art Online which is light and easy to get into anime for the first time yet appreciate it as much, but if you want the heavy stuff right off the line check out Guilty Crown in which the plot is so complex and twisted that you'll need extra oxygen pumped into your brain in order to comprehend everything, and if you want amazing visuals and a gripping drama that also has awesome mecha battles Aldnoah.Zero is the shit.
Seriously, if you know anime like I do, Star Wars looks like it's something for little kids.
>>63703922
literally an 8 year olds comment
>lmao
>>63704523
says the guy on 4chan
>>63717038
this is a great meme t b h
>>63717038
>not evangelion
fuck your meme
>people think this movie can be good in any way at all.
Just saw the movie. It was nice, I'm interested to see the continuation.
For me the weakest element was definitely Boyega. His acting didn't grab me at all. Some of the jokes were misses (but there were some hits). It didn't take itself super seriously, that was good.
