This is what an early IMDb review had to say about the Force awakens.
>>63672252
lol implying a cuck's opinion matters
>>63672284
>cuck
We can type that again? desu senpai baka
Take a shot of vodka for every review that menitions TFA being better than the prequels.
I was amazed how it turns out Palpatine was actually true father of Anakin
>>63672252
>a daring synthesis
>>63672252
>the script 'pops'
Fucking armchair critics man
>>63672342
That's Hollywood marketing speak. I doubt anyone has ever used those terms to describe anything else.
>the real highlight is the original cast
>luke is in for 2 minutes and doesn't talk
uh huh
>>63672379
Is that describing how the alien languages sound? So Oogaboyega speaks his native clicking language?
>>63672396
>only shills can like this
>" I-I SWEAR IT'S BETTER THAN THE PREQUELS !!!!1"
this fucking damage control.
This movie is going to be so fucking shit.
I hate hyperbole so much. Wannabe critics using buzzwords thinking they're actually contributing something of value.
I refuse to believe Ford shines. That fucker doesn't give a single fuck about anything anymore. He probably reads lines worse than Brando now
Anyone want to translate what he isn't saying? there's a few conditionals in there that read like "...but..."
>the movie has a heart
literally the "friendzone" phrase normies use when a movie sucks
blunder of the century confirmed worse than revenge of the sith
>>63672284
Testing cuck
>>63672511
He actually did try in Age of Adaline this year, shows he's still got some of the old fire, it's just the films he gets are terrible.
>>63672595
>imdb
>>63672284
>Cuck
Nice try ya kuck.
>>63672284
Red Cuck standing by
Testing cuck.
B-but all the mainstream Hollywood movies are made using the BS2 formula, a formula based on the Hero's Journey. SW was textbook HJ.
How can SW7 script be a return to SW AND different form movies that are made using the same formula?
What a cuck
>>63672304
They shouldn't have allowed it again. Now there's going to be even more of it. You can't stop the maymays.
>>63672252
>Sure, it's a corporate ploy to sell lots of merchandise, but is also has a heart"
lmao
>>63672709
Shut up cuck
>>63672595
It's been dropping actually. Just wait.
>>63672709
Cry me a river, cuck.
>>63672716
It has to be a parody.
>>63672252
>The Interracial sex scenes were stunningly complex and emotional
Literally a c
>>63672735
>>63672754
I'm actually happy, I was just speaking from the mods' SJW perspective.
So it's true? JJ saved the franchise?
>>63672716
>corporate ploy to sell lots of merchandise
>mfw I saw a commercial for STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS fucking soup
desu senpai cuck
>>63672252
>different from other Hollywood scripts
>gives no examples
cuck senpai desu
> a totally artistic bold amazing rehash
> just don't forget to shut off your brain
>>63672709
Peggy noonen can use it in CNN but we can't use it here where we originated it?
>>63672252
>haha it's good man just turn your brain off haha
>buy some popcorn and soda bro haha special limited edition cups haha
>>63672854
It's not something new. When ANH came out, there was a lot of merchandising going on.
SW shoes, gum, headset radios, calendars, pencil sharpeners, Vadar door knockers, watches, spagetthi cans, etc.
>>63672709
They brought it back right before the release of TFA. Based chink moot.
cuck
KEK
kek
cucĪ
cucK
>>63673093
cuck doesn't work
>>63672252
For a 3 days meal I bet I'm willing to write something like that tbqh
>>63674199
can't single word post cuck :(
COCK
good luck getting an early pass to any more movies if you provide a negative review
>>63672252
Literally marketing speech
>>63672509
Doesn't it seem like the majority of reviews (both professional and amateur) are just rearranging a word bank based on "it's good" or "it's bad" and throwing in their own "clever" phrases that are really ones they've read in other reviews ?
I write for my college's movie blog and I see this all the time, people think that the best review is the one with the most adjectives and "funny!" lines in it so they all end up reading exactly the same.
Look at the review OP posted:
Can you actually tell anything about the movie from it? It's just a mash of stereotypical lines and bad writing:
"It feels truly magical"
First off, the sentence before this claiming "it's the first film in a while to do (X)!" was an awful inclusion; are you discounting ever other film that's come out in whatever you define as the last "while?" How long along have you set that for? Can you explain what it does that separates it from all the others? Or are you just going to resort to a phrase that "sounds good!" but doesn't tell us anything? Calling something "magical," especially "truly magical" because why don't we use more extraneous adjectives, is the same as calling the view from the top of a mountain "beautiful": it makes sense in the moment while you're experiencing it, but the one word can't encapsulate all the different aspects of what you saw when you're telling your friends about it.
"Each frame is lovingly crafted"
This one irks me the most, are they saying the film is well edited? Well choreographed? The cinematographer did a good job? Can you say why or how instead of just repeating something you read on another review?
Basically, modern film criticism is full of self-important hacks who grew being told their voice was the most important and unique without ever actually developing any of their own style, leaving them drawing from every influence they could find to prove to society how "special" they are without putting any work or thought into their writing.
>>63674298
Cuck detected
>>63672252
>say all this good shit about the movie
>cite nothing as to why it is as he says it is
>>63672595
started as 9.5, this is not a good sign.
>>63676341
people don't want a review, they want buzzwords to tell their friends after they go watch the movie.
cuck desu senpai
>>63676341
>This one irks me the most, are they saying the film is well edited? Well choreographed? The cinematographer did a good job? Can you say why or how instead of just repeating something you read on another review?
Silly anon, don't you know the most important thing about a movie to modern reviewers is how 'fun' and 'entertaining' it is?
How many online reviews (esp. ones who use YouTube) do you think have actually sat down to watch a Bergman film, a Fellini film, a Truffaunt film, or a Rossellini film?
Do you really expect quality reviews discussing the aesthetics of filmmaking from people whose favorite films of the past few years probably consist mostly of Marvel movies?
Film criticism is dead, and has become solely focused on how much 'fun' a movie is. It can literally be the most blandly-shot, CGI-filled, stupidly-written film every, but if it is enjoyable if you 'turn your brain off' it deserves a good score.
>>63672252
>Truly magical!
>A daring synthesis!
>Every frame is lovingly crafted!
>Perfect blend of new and old!
>This truly pops!
>It feels like Star Wars!
>Wonderful synthesis!
Being a paid reviewer must be so easy, all you have to do is regurgitate shitty buzzwords and phrases and then arrange them in a barely-readable format.
