Can we get a thread going about shitty or otherwise memorable theater experiences?
>be me
>go to see age of ultron with a friend
>movie starts but lights are still on
>friend calls theater on his cell and tells them to turn the lights off
>movie starts in 2d
>everyone wondering if the 3d is just shitty or what
>they stop the movie 10 minutes in to fix it
>takes them like 15 minutes
>everyone gets a free pass as compensation
>use pass to see it again that night
>allgood.jpg
the real question is seeing a movie in a prominently black theater the best experience ever or what?
>>63638205
>went to see paranormal activity 4 in black theater
>everyone screamed at shit that wasnt even scary
>couldnt follow movie because of the screaming
>"oh lord jesus!"
so, yeah. i think it is.
>>63638290
can't stand that shit.
>>63638205
Seeing a flick in a theater full of niggers = the actual experience, because you sure as shit won't be able to watch the movie with all the shucking, jiving, gobbledygook chimping/muh dik ing going on
>go to watch hobbit in middle of the day
>only me and two others watching it
comfy as fuck
>>63638652
seeing a movie in the middle of the day on a weekday is great. You can sit anywhere you want and relax.
>>63638652
I live in a small city and this happened to me with literally all movies I've seen in the cinema in the last two years, even when I watched them on premiere days. I always go during the day though, I suspect it's more crowded in the evening
Wonder how it will turn out with the new Star Wars flick though
i hate seeing a scary movie in theaters. people either scream too much at parts that aren't scary, or they laugh and ruin the mood.
>go to see The Drop at 10 am
>since it's in the inner city the workers are lazy fucks
>noone checking tickets
>walk in without buying a ticket
>pull 10' meatball sub from hoodie
>take of shoes
>take pants off (only one in theater and they were sweat pants)
>eat my meatball sub in complete comfort until film ends
>leave out back exit
10/10 experience, 7/10 movie
>>63638038
I guess noone ever experienced the projector (or the film or something else behind that glass) catching fire and then not being able to get out of the cinema because the door is locked as the owner has left the building to go for a smoke or whatever? No?
Well, seems only to happen in run-down smalltown cinemas in Europe...
>local theatre plays interesting theme stuff
>summer they had a car month
>drive was the choice one weekend
>decide to go cause I never saw it on the big screen
>fatass balding college kid shows up (right next to a uni)
>the kind of person you just instantly know browses 4chan
>he has two popcorns and a drink
>incredibly tempted to take photo
>mfw I'm a /fit/izen and the next day I see someone post how they just saw drive in the theatre
>>63638875
holy shit. once i snuck snacks into the dark night rises but there was an usher next to me the whole time so i couldnt eat them. i could change seats either because it was opening night and full as fuck.
>be me
>go to see batman opening night
>theater gets shot up and people die
>it wasn't a horrible experience but it wasnt a great one either
9/10
>>63638823
I refuse to see scary movies in the theater after It Follows. I liked it but man, the people around me ruined my immersion and killed the overall atmosphere.
I only watch horror movies by myself now
>>63638038
>be 14
>Go to see Gran Tarino with my dad
>enjoying it so far until some guy comes in half way
>this guy has clearly seen it before and starts quoting the movie as it goes
>deal with if for a good 15 minutes
>people decide the shticks up and tells the guy to be quite
>then this guy goes looking down each row looking to fight people who told him to shut up
>finally gets up to my 5'8" 280lb Italian dad
>before the guy can say a word my IT consultant dad turned into the next MMA champ
>knocks the guy out cold
>unfortunately the ushers come inside to see what the disturbance is
>see's my dad with a guy spread out on the stairs
>get thrown out
>lucky to not get any repercussions or police reports
For the next 2 weeks i boasted to everyone on how my dad beat the fuck out of some guy while watching Gran Tarino
>go to see Terminator Salvation
>trailer for Armored comes on (terrible crime flick starring Laurence Fishburne)
>10 seconds into the trailer the projectionist switches audio feeds
>groovy 70s funk starts playing
>Laurence Fishburne strutting around to smooth beats
>cars exploding and guns firing during sick bass groove
>everyone in the theater is cheering and laughing their asses off
>trailer ends, projectionist switches back to normal audio feed
>we suffer through 2 hours of Christian Bale as John Connor
Hands down the greatest shitty movie experience ever
>>63639097
Salvation was better than genisys though
>>63638205
The Ring on opening night at 10PM with almost all black people was amazing
>>63639138
I agree, and never claimed the opposite.
>ywn go to an Indian cinema to watch total shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvwxLjpouGE
1:05
>>63639000
>bored as fuck
>decide to go to movie theater and watch a random movie
>it's some movie about Jesus
>whatever
>movie starts
>besides me there are like three kids watching it
>they act like annyoning cunts, playing with their cellphones and chewing popcorn very loudly
>movie isn't all that interesting either
>decide to get the fuck out of there
>accidentaly get out through evacuation doors and find myself in some kind of utility room or something like that
>it smells like shit and wet popcorn
>can't get back into the screening room since the doors don't open the other way
>have to sneak around, avoiding employes and trying to find my way out of there
>was walking back to seat
>guy in row in front of me was eating nachos
>decided to walk down his row
>let it rip right in front of his nachos while he is filling his mouth
>walk back up to my row
Moral of the story: nachos taste and smell like shit
>>63639178
I know, I just wanted a reason to shit on that abortion of a flick
how does everyone feel about the absolute reddit opinion that "kids movies should have adults only showings"
>>63638585
Can someone explain what shucking and jiving actually is to me?
>>63639366
fuck that. just go to the damn movie.
>>63639473
this. i saw the peanuts movie by myself and no one gave a fuck.
>>63639227
wth?
>be about 15
>go to see spiderman 2
>old guy starts having heart attack in theater
>his wife calls 911
>ushers start running in to help him
>people get up from their seats and crowd around like idiots
>they didnt stop the movie the whole time
DESIGNATED
>Go to see Hellboy movie in a small local theater
>Only 9 people show up to the screening
>Guy says he cant cant screen a movie for less than 10 people
>We all chip together for the 10th ticket
>Movie was great
>tfw going to see Star Wars on Saturday morning
I was hoping all the wagekeks would be tired from the work week, but it's going to be hell.
>>63639227
Why are indians so fucking disgusting
>A huge group of people I went to highschool with go to see one of the Paranormal activities.
>Literally like 50 of us fucking cunts
>Don't even know most of them
>Everyone drinks and does drugs in the park across from the cinema before hand
>Everyone fucked up in the cinema
>Screaming
>Some people had sex on the floor in front of the front row.
>Everyone else hates us and people leave
>No one kicks 50 people out
>Some slut vomits
Fucking dumbest bullshit. We deserved to be shot desu.
>>63640298
>Some people had sex on the floor in front of the front row.
What the actual fuck? What shitty city did you live in where no one working gave a fuck?
>have this great dinner movie theater in my college town
>fucking great ass burgers and shit with $5 classic movies every weekend
>one Halloween they do The Exorcist
>everyone decides to go, we get a bigass group
>one of my friends, who weighs 400 pounds, is 5'6", and has bright red hair and beard, tells us he's bringing a girl on a date
>???????
>we get there, he walks in - with two girls
>seems as if the girl thought he might think it's a date, so she brought her friend with her to help just in case
>we sit there and make fun of him the entire time, getting plastered
>we get to the scene where they start attempting the exorcism
>puke goes everywhere, both in movie AND from his "date's" mouth
>we laugh
>we keep laughing
>we never stop laughing
>he blames us for his bad "date" when he was the one who brought a girl to see the fucking Exorcist
From what I understand he dropped out. Good, fucker.
>>63640298
Do you live in like detroit or something?
>>63640407
>one of my friends
RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>go to the movies to see the new star wars film
>brought my gf because no singles policy
>check in my falcon at the falconry room
>go take a shower, but notice I forgot my shampoo at home
>theater shower inspectors tell me that I need to use shampoo
>try to tell them that I used shampoo when I showered yesterday and that you shouldn't use shampoo every day
>shower inspectors don't subscribe to the "don't shampoo every day" theory
>forced to pay $5 for shampoo rental
>finally get done with showering and get to my seat
>movie finally starts and its great
>designated theater shooter comes in, as expected
>get shot
>last thing I see is my gf having sex with a big black bull
>go see django unchained on christmas day or something
>bad decision
>sitting next to some 90-year-old lady and her handler (maybe her son?)
>for like the first hour she keeps talking
>"why did he shoot that man"
>"that's not very nice"
>etc.
>trying to be ignore it, but it's getting harder
>finally lean over and say "could you please be quiet during the movie"
>"but i always talk in movies"
>"it's still a little rude to others"
>she doesn't talk the rest of the movie
felt pretty good about myself lads
>>63640336
>>63640429
Small shitty city in Australia senpai.
>>63640298
Lmao that sounds like fun
>go to friends birthday
>see Matrix The Sequel with the Car Chase
>get to scene where Persephone is getting Neo to kiss her
>Trinity pulls out her gun
>the large group of large independent women who don't need no man behind us all begin to talk at once
>OH NO SHE DIDN'T
>SHE AIN'T HAVIN NONE OF THAT
>WHO DOES THAT B' THINK SHE IS
>TRINITY GOIN' KEEP HER MAN
>the rest of the movie has moments like this interjected in it
>best way to view a Matrix sequel
>>63639150
Tell us more, anon.
>>63640502
10/10 read
>>63640502
$5 for shampoo rental is pretty steep brah. Sounds like a shit time.
>>63638205
If it's a bad film, yes.
Second only to going to see a bad film at the end of its run with a few friends so you're the only ones in the theatre and can mst3k it up.
>>63638038
>saw mean girls when it was in theaters
>thought it was a shitty teen drama
>went on a tuesday with my best friend so we could make fun of it out loud
>pleasantly surprised that it was actually good
>empty theater
>>63638038
saw the thing prequel high with a bud. laughed almost the entire way through. good times
>go to see the hindenburg movie
>plan on delivering a 10/10 zinger at the scene where the blimp crashes
>some asshole with a laser pointer steals my thunder
>people are laughing at him
>some women even talk about how they like funny men
>the blimp crash scene finally starts
>mytimehascome
>deliver my zinger, "Thats gotta hurt!"
>everyone looks at me like I'm a gigantic asshole
>>63638205
I went to see straight outta compton when it can out while I was visiting relatives in deep south florida, it was a pretty much all black theatere, and everyone was respectfull and normal.
>>63640704
maximum kek.
watching jackass number two with an all male crowd.
>>63638875
>>63638960
wait seriously in USA you cant take own food to movie theaters
>>63640821
>implying there is any other kind of jackass number two crowd
>>63640837
people do it anyways. it's common knowledge that people take food in. fuck paying 4 dollars for a box of snow caps
>>63640837
No, the theater snipers will shoot you
> Went on a trek to see Samsara at Ft. Worth Omnimax™ with my wife.
> Arrive early so we can get the best seats (it's not reserved seating)
> A couple who's expecting a baby soon are there.
> We are all polite and excited
> Doors open. We head to the primo spot in the center.
> Pregnant couple goes to that spot too.
> We all sit down and await the experience
> Pregnant woman needs to pee.
> She gets up and leaves her seat to go pee.
> Some shitbird wanders in late and decides to make a huge fight over having the lady's sea while she's in the bathroom.
> Heated petty privileged fighting shit brings the whole experience down for everyone
> Samsara plays.
> Everyone who was there remembers.
>>63640916
>get jackass 2 on dvd for christmas
>bring it to my uncles house because he wants to watch it
>later gives it back to me
>'the part where he drank the horse blow was fuckin sick hey'
>my mom leaves the room to yell at my nan who gave it to me
keeping in mind i was eight or nine years old
>>63639138
Being shat on is better than losing a limb, doesn't mean the first one's any good
>couple of years back
>have shitty day at school
>on the way to the bus station walk by biggest theatre in town
>"Neat, Inception.. in 10 minutes. Oh, what the hell..."
>decide to watch it
>it's like 3p.m. or something, no one in the theatre besides me and bored looking chashier
>pay for tickets, cashier looks annoyed
>after getting to my seat I saw why: Not a single soul in a theatre made for something like 400 people
>that dude had to play Inception just for me
One of the best days in my life.
>go to see wolf of wall street
>two old ladies sitting in front of me
>5 min in leo snorts coke off of a hookers ass (or out her butthole I don't remember)
>one of the old ladies says "I don't know about this movie"
>a few minutes later they start talking to each other and having a conversation at normal volume
>full frontal scene of blond chick happens
>they finally get up and leave
Those old ladies were worse than niggers.
>>63641271
Old ladies suck. See>>63640513
I don't know why getting old just makes you completely indifferent to the other people around you.
>>63638038
me and my brother went to go see Gravity in the theatre we got there at about 2 o'clock on a school day and had the whole Theatre to ourselves.
>>63641271
Old people are way worse than niggers in movies
>be about
>seeing coraline with my middle aged stepmom and 9 year old step brother
>stepmom constantly says shit like "oh i wonder why they did that" or "i bet she's gonna do so and so next"
>never see a movie with her again
>mfw my dad divorces her the next year
> 1991
> Leave school early with buddies to see Terminator 2 on opening day before other kids showd up
> Go to really nice theater in large metropolis
> News reporter is there at the ticket line
> They interview me and ask, of all things, "Do you think these violent movies are making young people like yourself more violent?"
> I smirk at the camera and say... "It's just a movie."
> They never got the story they wanted.
>>63641332
Good for you telling her to shut up. I should of done the same, but luckily they ended up leaving anyways.
>>63641346
fucking hate people like that. the worst is when you've never seen a movie with them so you don't know they're like that until it's too late.
>>63641098
Jokes on you, I've got a scat fetish
>>63639227
>the screen lit up
>>63641096
>go to jackass 2 with friend
>listen to friend audibly choke back a mouth full of vomit during the horse cum scene
>still have no idea how he held it in
>totally worth it
>>63641562
he probably imagined it was horse cum and didn't let a single drop escape
>>63641562
>lean over bed
>just spontaneously vomit with my mouth shut
>think fast, vomit on floor or swallow
>i swallow
>sit there and comprehend what i just did for a bit
>then go drink some water
>go to see the passion of the christ
>late show
>children up way past their bedtimes
>two men get in a fist fight
>movie was okay
>>63638038
Ok I remembered one
>going to see last vegas with my grandmother because that's the type of movie that appeals to 70 year old women
>its either opening weekend or the week after, its a afternoon show but the theaters over halfway full
>we pick seats near the front in a mostly empty row, lots of open seats around us
>about two trailers in this 400 pound slob of an older women waddles into the theater with her rail thin equally old friend/handler
>she walks up the four steps and is completely out of breath so they decide on our row
>shes so big fitting in-between the seats is a struggle
>shes bumping people in the next row up with her cane
>she passes by a large number of empty seats getting closer and closer to us
>eventually fights her way down to the middle of the aisle and sits directly next to me
>shes laughing during the trailers, except shes so fat that laughing exerts her to the point where she has to wheeze air into her fat fucking lungs for minutes after every one
>she completely spills over into my seat, the armrest is gone under her stomach fat
>smells like shit and cheese
>the worst fucking part is that her friend didnt even sit next to her
>she put a buffer seat in-between them because this bitch was so fucking gross
>Didn't even consider the fact that if she finds it so gross other people may dislike it as well
>spend the next 45 minutes suffering in silence untill I ask my grandmother to move over one seat
>grandmother is ultimate fat hater so while moving asks what took me so long
>fatty stares daggers for the rest of the movie
7/10 movie though, its a comfortable easy type of funny carried by the charisma of the leads, nothing special but inoffensive and enjoyable.
>>63641635
you can't teach those instincts, anon
>>63641748
>grandfather takes us to 'all dogs go to heaven'
>takes us home after half an hour or so because the movie sucks
>he was right
based grandpa. rest in peace and watch over me when i go to shitty movies
>>63641370
that was weird to read, cause i picture your story but then you looked at the camera (me) and told me it was just a movie. pretty deep
People who go on their phones while a movie is playing
Why?
>>63640502
>shower inspectors didn't inspect penis
fucking savage, where do you live, the congo?
>>63638038
>watching some shitty found footage horror movie in a ghetto theater in chicago
>rowdy black people hooping and hollering at every jump scare
>get fed up and ask them to keep it down
>they threaten me and tell me to shut my "cracka ass" up
>leave theater and report to manager that they wont shut the fuck up
>since this was a movie theater in "da hood" and shooting happen all the time, a big swole giga nigga security guard escorts them out
>enjoy the rest of the movie in peace
felt good man
>>63640704
fucking brilliant
>>63641748
Your grandma sounds rad
>>63642248
it's a tic, they can't help it. they're not even aware they're doing it really. smart phones are the new tourette's
>>63642427
listening to her talk about how gross Melissa McCarthy is, is probably one of my favorite things ever
>>63642561
My grandmother was pretty based too.
She refused to watch a certain TV channel because all there was too many negroes on it.
Keep in mind that we're norwegian, black people weren't exactly common in the 40's and 50's.
>>63638290
>Forced to see paranormal shitctivity for the second time
>Couldn't resist not cracking jokes during the whole movie
>Everybody in the theatre laughs at my jokes
>Made a comedy out of the movie
That was the only time in my life I was the loud obnoxious fuck in the theatre, the movie was just that much of a shit.
![movie-review-the-man-from-u-n-c-l-e-delivers-cold-war-excitement-560220[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/S34UIyT.jpg "movie-review-the-man-from-u-n-c-l-e-delivers-cold-war-excitement-560220[1].jpg")
>>63639999
>tfw I watched U.N.C.L.E. all alone in the theatre
I now wonder if the movie would show even if nobody was in the theatre
>>63642823
that's a pretty roundabout way of telling us you're black, anon
>>63643083
they've already booked that time for that particular movie (and paid to rent the print). they don't get the money back if they don't show it.
![commercial[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dCJerzy.jpg "commercial[1].jpg")
>>63640821
>go to concession stand, slow movie weekday
>surrounded by white boss can't stop laughing to himself amongst throng of his alien Mexican construction workers
>Rich white boss paid for all their movie tickets, popcorn and drinks for Jackass 2
>Mexican workers can barely speak a lick of English
>Rich white boss keeps saying stuff to them like, "You're going to love this movie."
>We all enter cinema. Mexicans LMAO'ing, losing their shit every other minute
>Normally I don't LMAO in a theater but I didn't feel pressured to keep quiet that time. I laughed along with rich white dude and Mexicans.
>Felt good to laugh like that in public.
>>63642823
What did u say to make ppl laugh
>>63642823
Suck a dick bill burr
>>63638038
>go to theaters
>showers aren't working
>get back to movie just in time to see han solo die in the new star wars
fml
Girlfriend and I live in boston.
We drive an hour out into the suburbs to see movies because we agree that there is a black problem in the theaters in the city, no matter what time you go.
Imagine being so worthless a race that you can't keep still or quiet during a movie? it's astounding.
>>63640298
you are all black aren't you? you're who we're talking about ITT
![afro-samurai[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Oj8Pbnx.jpg "afro-samurai[1].jpg")
>>63638038
>>63641271
Yeah I love when people didn't absolutle any research on the movie they are watching, and then they bitch when they don't like the movie
>Watching afro samurai in theatre
>Obviously a lot of kids with moms, since all they saw was "animation" and didn't bother to check anything else
>First scene afro fighting some fagots on the bridge, hands, heads, legs flying everywhere
>half of the kidmom combos leave
>later the scene in the striphouse, some couple fucking etc.
>the remaining half leaves as well
based afro
>watching lord of the rings, return of the king
>Last film I watched with Dad
>Child screaming throughout entire film
>Parent does nothing and ignores the little shithouse
>get to scene where the gang approaches the black gate
>kid trips and knocks himself out
>rest of the film is silent as mother rushes him outside
>mfw
I got caught not using soap in the cinema showers... banned for a week.
>>63643337
Nah man
It's even worse,I'm a slav
>>63644076
I feel you, I live in the suburbs but have to go to the revere theater if I want to see 4d movies in the special theater or sometimes they do rifftrax showings. The lobby itself is a nightmare if you try and go on a weekend night. I went to see The Martin there in the motion theater with my grandmother a month or two ago on a sunday night and trying to get a drink before the show was a chore with all the screaming black kids sprinting all over the place. Also the line took forever because tons of parents couldn't figure out the difference between 2d and 3d showings of hotel Transylvania and why tickets for 3d cost more. On the bright side it was super hilarious when some guy shouted "you're a bad mother" at some woman because she let her baby cry through the first 45 minutes of the movie and then the theater laughed when her and her three kids left in shame.
>cloud atlas
>none of my friends want to see it
>it's been out for a few weeks
>the only cinema that shows it does so in the tiny 30 seat basement room.
>the only people also there are 3 couples
the movie was great, and at least nobody saw me cry
>>63643741
It was a long time ago, I don't remember, I doubt I was even that funny, probably the poeple around me had shit sense of humor
>>63638038
>Be 12
>Go to see one of the LotR movies with my mom
>Its like the 3rd week its showing
>Empty theater
>Chill with mom and have fun
It was fun.
>>63644297
>Baby in the theatre
For what purpose, are they really that poor, so they can't afford a babysitter for 2 hours.
>in an old, local theater
>only has film, need a projectionist in the room at all times
>very few people there
>there's a problem with the projector, it's unfocused
>shouts from the theater, projectionist doesn't hear it
>send some guy to go up to talk to him
>he comes back it's fixed, casually explains that the projectionist was having sex with the woman concession stand
ah to live in a rural village again
>>63643464
So the movie would show if I wasn't there?
That's pretty funny
>>63639288
explain
>be me
>14 years old
>go watch movie with dad
>Lady in the Water
>friday night
>huge group of high school looking kids sitting right in the front by the screen
>talk loudly throughout
>bring out beach ball and start throwing it at the screen
>my dad and I leave the theater to go find a security guard
>he shrugs us off and says there is not really anything he can do because they will cause even more problems if he does
>literally what the fuck is his job
>we leave, get our money back
>go see cowboys and aliens
>final battle is happening
>guy in front of me has been shoveling HUGE handfuls of popcorn into his mouth throughout
>handfuls so big it is fucking distracting
>final battle starts
>phone rings
>answers it and talks loudly until the movie is over
>im too pussy to say anything
>>63638038
Why would you watch Age of Ultron twice?
Not even an Avengers hater. Loved the first one, but the second one was operating at 70% capacity the whole time.
nice
>watching Pompeii with 5 other friends in the afternoon after some tests
>just us in the session
>keep joking about how fucking retard the movie was the entire time
>great laughs, great time
>watching The Winter Soldier alone in a super comfy raining afternoon
>empty room
>sleept a little bit, but nice flick
>go watch Thor 2 with friends
>movie goes along so fast that i tought the end was the beggining of a third act
>feelsgoodshitmoviegoesfast.jpg
>going to see Interstellar with 2 best friends
>we don't see each other in a long time
>nice movie
>get emotional
>after the session talk with friends all night about life in a bar
>get out felling complete
bad
>going to see harry potter pt 2 with some 'friends' in the opening night
>was my first harry potter
>could be cool
>get there in time, first one
>my friends bough shitty 3d and dub
>still can be good
>a lot of cosplayers
>get in the session after trailers because late friends
>two fucking faggots in my seat (yeah)
>my friends do nothing, tell me to sit in the first row (only avaible seats)
>fucking rages out, audience starts boo because movie started
>okay
>watch that shitty teen flick with shitty 3d, shitty dub, shitty fans screaming in all the lines with my neck in a 45 degree from my normal point of view
>stiff neck
>>63640521
Sounds like Wollongong
>>63644446
So there were at least 3 in your group and all of you were to beta to ask two faggots who came to watch Harry Potter of all movies, to move?
I mean usually I don't give a fuck about assigned seats if there are still some nice seats left, but if the theatre is full and some faggot sat in my seat, bet your ass I'm going to lift his ass from there.
>Went to see Dope (shitty black film) in a theater in West Philadelphia
>Black people commentary was funnier than the movie
>>63641898
> Looks at screen
> "It's just a greentext, man"
> It's not real.
> The world's not real
> neither are you, tbhornest frem
>go see Guardians of the Galaxy with the wife
>in 3D and new fangled seats called D-box
>first 15 minutes
>Starlord is escaping with the orb
>his ship spirals downward
>the seat shifts in sync with the motion on screen
>That coupled with the decent 3D put in complete 100% immersion for a good 30 seconds
Now the bad
>seeing rise of the planet of the apes in the same theater
>also in Dbox
>chair moves with every motion
I shut you not the chair lurched to one side simply because an ape jumped over a railing
>>63638038
>be me
>went to see the desolation of smaugh
>notice disgusting smell
>not sure of exact origin but must be someone close
>constant smell that can only be described as a mix of piss and puke
>waves of rotten egg / death fumes every 1 or 2 minutes, possibly when whoever patient zero farts or opens mouth
>several people leave
>feeling sick and miserable
>somehow manage to stay, but have not been watching a movie since
>me and two friends go to see the martian at 10pm
>only ones there
>add whisky to our massive slushies and enjoy our hotdogs
>make jokes the entire time
simple, but the best movie experience ive ever had
>>63639227
KEK
>>63638038
>Phantom Menace
>opening night
>film melts 10 minutes in
Maybe it was for the best.
![e500c030-c1d1-0131-f870-2e6e91a260e4[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/CVavadN.gif "e500c030-c1d1-0131-f870-2e6e91a260e4[1].gif")
>>63646871
LOL. Jar Jar starts speaking 9 minutes into the film. It was for the best.
Here's my Jar Jar movie theater moment...
>Midnight local premiere
>First 8 minutes, kick-ass. Everything cool so far
>Naboo. Shitty cg Jar Jar flops around, meesa meesa, argrgrgrg! oh no! you saved my again!
>Jar Jar says, "Exsqueeeeeze me!"
>muy, muy audible groans in the audience.
>>63639227
indians really like bikes huh
>>63646496
bet you sucked each other off cause youre a faggot
>go to cinéma with my buddy to watch Interstellar
>suffer 50% hearing loss
Was that movie way too fucking loud for anyone else?
>went to see one of the paranormal activities
>periods of long silences followed by jump scares
>movie at end
>black screen building up to one last possible jump
>Rip huge fart and walk out
>gf is super embarrassed
>act like it was her
>her fault anyway
>don't make me see stupid fucking movies bitch
>don't make me spend time with you unless it's sexy time
>>63648129
>insidious 2 opening
>theatre is packed
>scene where husband is possessed
>fighting the wife
>looks at her and calls her a dirty little cunt or something along those lines
>forget I'm in public and burst out laughing
>angry stares
>>63642248
>go to see Sicario with annoying friends because hey, I want to seem normal
>pay for over priced food, get the wrong amount of change
>too beta to go ask for the money I'm owed
>sit down in front of theater
>theater is almost full
>friends are loud as fuck during the movie
>don't care about the other people at all
>quietly crying in my seat from embarrassment
>friend starts taking pictures with flash
>WITH FLASH
Keep in kind we're sitting at the front
>audience is blinded by this bright as fuck light
>he does it 10 more times
I don't think I'm going to the movies with those friends anymore
>Watch fourth Die Hard movie in kinda empty cinema with friend.
>People behind talk about how some good looking-trailer looks boring, proceeds to laugh their asses off at Spider-Pig.
>Have diarrhea.
>For some reason decide to wait until he says Yippie-kiyay until I go to the bathroom - no reason why, I remember hearing that he only said it once in the film and I wanted to see it.
>Ninty minutes or so into the film and he hasn't said it and I'm sweating like fuck.
>Can't hold it in anymore.
>Make my way to bathroom and spend about ten minutes or so there.
>Get back and I decide to sit by the aisle instead of in the middle with my friend in case I had to get up again.
>People behind start whispering about how my friend must be bullied or something and how sad it is that he's now alone.
>Later find out he said the yippie-kiyay while I was in bathroom.
>>63647713
I made the grave mistake of seeing in RPX. I had to put in my headphones to cancel out the worst of it, but I still felt the bass in my chest. Jesus Christ I pity the people who didn't have some way to dampen the sound.
>>63639465
it means to joke and act evasively
>>63639000
>not over 9000
>go see shitty Paranormal Activity 9 with gf
>arrive like 4 minutes late because she wanted to got to the bathroom
>movie already started, everyone is quiet
>go to our seats
>look at the number in my ticket
>the row is full, someone is sitting in our seats
>"excuse me, is someone sitting in our seats? because i have this number..."
>they look at me, nobody says anything
>ask bunch of niggas which number are their seats
>i start counting, mother and daughter looking at us, y say "escuse me, which number do you have?"
>"oh yeah..." i don't remember what she said, i just wanted to kick her fucking head, she knew it all along and wanted to act like nothing happened
>she gets up and leaves
>sit between loud group of black people and a loud group of girls screaming at every jumpscare because attention whores
>every time they scream the black people yell "YO SHUT UP I'M WATCHIN THA MOVIE" even though they talk and yell "DON'T GO THERE, OH SHIET" the entire movie
>this goes on for an hour and a half
>the movie is shit
>going to the theater is shit
>everything is shit
>it's been a year since my gf broke up with me and i had sex
>i just want to die
>>63641098
>being shat on not feel good
Get the fuck out normie.
>go to see A Very Long Engagement because based Jeunet
>the poster makes it look like Amelie 2 or something, very romantic (which it kinda is)
>walk into the theater, there's only couples. eight couples tops, but all couples
>feel the spaghetti but sit in anyway
>movie begins with a pretty bleak and violent WW1 scene
>girls can't handle it
>three couples get up and walk out, I hear one saying "I didn't know it was a war movie"
>kek internally
>>63642702
Based.
My norwegian grandmother feel sorry for black people (which she thinks is everyone south of germany). She thinks their skin hurt from being in the sun.
![Satc-sex-and-the-city-1282776-1280-1024[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/TSucOQD.jpg "Satc-sex-and-the-city-1282776-1280-1024[1].jpg")
>>63638038
>me and my friend decide to go and watch some action movie can't remember
>arrive at the heatre
>fuck the last showing of that movie was yesterday
>it's replaced with sex and the city movie
>jokingly say let's watch that
>big mistake
>friend is a major cinephile, watches everything, an active imdb account, the whole deal
>Begs me for like 10 miutes to go and watch it with him
>I give in
>like 80% of the theatre is women, end the rest which are men are there with their gfs
>we are literally the only two males who came together here
>everybody probably thought we are gay lovers
>tfw all the women start screaming during the scene where some guy is showering and they show his cock
>Seeing "Sinister" by myself because tickets were less than five dollars
>Only person in theater except black guy two rows behind me
>He talks the ENTIRE time, to himself.
>"Nigga, you stoopit. Yo kids fucked UP mayne"
>Etc.
>Half way through, I turn and say "Do you mind?"
>"THE FUCK YOU SAY TO ME, CRACKA?"
>He stands up, TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT, and starts beating his chest
>"WHITE BITCH ASS BITCH FINKS HE CAN TELL ME TO BE QUIET"
>Does this for ten minutes
>Then just leaves
>I watch rest of movie in peace
Every, EVERY horrible theater experience I've ever had has been because of Obamas.
>>63638652
>this literally happened (me amd two others) when I went to see Hobbit 3
A shame considering how bland and shite the film was
>>63645775
This d box sounds very appealing to a drug addict like myself
>>63640298
Mine is like this except I'm the other people in the cinema
Movie was shit anyway so It's not like i was disappointed, It was sort of enjoyable in a 'this is so bad it's good' king of way.
>>63648308
>straight out of Compton
>pretty full house
>white cop slams ice cube onto his cop car and calls him a "neeger"
>cackle heavily
>no one else did
>feel eyes on me
>stoned so that only makes it funnier
>spend what feels like next ten minutes trying to hold back my giggles
Just the way the cop said it was so funny. This made up accent and I swear it even zoomed in on his mouth, went a tad slowmo, and showed spittle fly out onto icecube
>just turned 18
>saw Superbad once, wanted to see it again with a few friends who never saw it
>one friend was 16 though
>we all bought tickets to Balls of Fury and we'd gradually sneak over to Superbad when it got started
>underageb& managed to get caught
>end up sitting through Balls of Fury
>managing a shit theatre with terrible equipment
>still in the pre-digital age
>Jane Eyre
>about thirty minutes into the movie
>literally the worst brain wrap I've ever seen.
>spend the next hour trying to fix it
>a solid minute of the movie is totally destroyed
>old people mad, gave out tickets
>they all came back next day
>that scene is just completely cut
Worst fucking day on that job.
>go to the movie theater
>buy ticket at box office
>go inside
>buy a large popcorn and soda
>they have Coca-Cola Freestyle
>get mix between Vanilla and Orange Coke
>put tons of butter on popcorn and a little bit of salt
>give ticket to ticket-taker
>he rips it and gives me back the smaller tag
>"third on your right"
>go down hallway to third venue on my right
>find a good seat near the back and middle
>get comfy
>trailers start
>after 2 trailers, the movie starts
>movie goes on for 2 hours
>movie ends
>get up and leave
>it was a 7/10 at best
>watching the Lego movie
>literally everyone in the theater was at least 25 years old
Good god people
>>63643499
The question is: did they clap like Americans?
Me and my friends got kicked out while watching one of the paranormal activity movies
A kid was riding a big wheel and crashed into a chair because the ghost moved it infront of him so me and my friends just laughed nonstop for some reason
Then we went to a supermarket and got kicked out of there too
>friend starts taking pictures with flash
>WITH FLASH
Pic related
>>63650352
I genuinely keked, thanks friend
>>63650850
>brain wrap
You learn something new every day
Also FUCK that book
Fellowship of the Rings
>be in high school
>go with a group of friends/girlfriend
>back row twelve of us in 8 seats
>girl on her boyfriends lap with her leg over my knee
>her boyfriend reaches over accidentally starts rubbing my leg for a second
>hand shoots up a foot in the air when he realizes we all laugh
Last Samurai
>bro and me go to cheer on based TC against the Japs
>dope as fuck movie
>film burns up as the ninjas attack
>twenty minute intermission to change the reel and reflect on everything we've seen
>comes back and Tom Cruise kills everyone
>get free tickets to a movie of our choice
Oldboy
>only movie I've seen alone
>get stoned as fuck in the parking lot
>find seat perfectly in the middle of the theater
>see a preview for Emanuelle in America
>what the fuck?
>Harry Knowles starts clapping like crazy when she jerks off the horse
>movie starts, it's amazing
>coming down right as Oh Dae-Su is realizing he fucked his daughter
>holy shit he cut out his tongue
>thank god for hypnosis
GOAT theater experience for sure
![tumblr_nk7r3cfTOK1qg9raso1_250[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/0sHAkBM.gif "tumblr_nk7r3cfTOK1qg9raso1_250[1].gif")
>>63651074
No clapping. Just raucous laughter and some Mexican gibberish following the laughter. Hearing a bunch of Mexicans laughing is just what you would imagine it would sound like.
>go to see nymphomaniac part 1 and 2 with friend
>only other people in 30 seat theatre are a couple neckin a bottle of jim bean, and a solo guy and solo girl
>girl walks out in part 1
>guy walks out in part 2 during billy elliot's spanking
was kinda weird
>>63644829
or he did drugs in the park across from entertainment quarter hoyts cunt.
>>63645775
>go see Guardians of the Galaxy with the wife
stopped reading
>>63652781
I would have walked out to.
I don't like paying money for snorecore movies.
>>63638038
>go to see Avatard with friends because high and 3D and colorful, wanted to see what the hype is about
>later show, theater about half full
>suddenly hear a dude shout cocksucker
>fuck
>bitch
>shithead
>random barking sounds
>repeating every few minutes
>a fucking Tourette's in the theater
>start laughing with friends because high and funny
>get shitty looks for laughing
>watched the big smurfs and screams of cocksucker
>it was ok
>>63653268
Hey guys, found the virgin who gets triggered with someone mentions they have a relationship and remind this anon how worthless he truly is!
>>63638823
You forgot about all the chair kicking that happens. It's awful.
>>63638205
When I saw Return of the King, at the scene where Eowyn rips her helmet off to declare she is no man, a black woman suddenly shouted (in perfect timing) "I'M A WOMAN NIGGA WHAT" *stab*
The whole theater lost it
Golden moment
>>63643499
That sounds so fun.
>Work up the courage to go to an Avengers showing alone after reading a thread like this and people say no one cares if you're alone
>I turn up a couple minutes late
>As I walk into the theater, the whole crowd turns to look at me
>One of them yells "HOLY SHIT, HE'S ALONE!"
>Whole theatre laughing hysterically as I take my seat
>Calls of "weirdo," "creeper," etc.
>Want to die
>After the credits, the entire audience mobs me in the hallway
>They start dancing in circles around me, chanting deliriously and laughing
>They start singing a nursery rhyme about how only virgins go to the cinema alone and how I should kill myself
>I can't get away because they've joined hands and won't let me escape
>They start throwing their drinks and candy and stuff at me
>"HAHA LOOK AT THE LOSER GETTING STICKY"
>Security comes by
>They look mad but then they see me in the middle of the crowd
>One of them says "wait, did that fucker come here alone?"
>Security joins in, start using supersoakers to shoot artificial butter at me
>I'm lying in the fetal position sobbing at this point
>The dancing and chanting continues for over 13 hours
>I'm completely covered in soda, butter, and bits of candy
>Black guy goes "NIGGA LOOKS LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE!"
>Crowd finally disperses
>Cinema manager comes by
>Leans down, whispers in my ear "Never come here again"
>All I can do is whimper yes sir
>>63655444
Love this pasta
>Go to movie
>Trailer for the Shadow the Hedgehog game plays
>black guy in the back yells "AW SHIT YEAH DAS MAH NIGGUH SHADOW"
>out of town with dad and brother
>have some time to kill before our flight home
>watch pic related
>it's so bad and awkward we don't talk for 4 hours until we get back home
>>63638205
lazarus effect, while an unvelievably shitty movie, was made memorable by the fine citizens of roxbury
>>63639227
>you will never have this much fun with your friends at the cinema
they're absolutely ecstatic
imagine if american theaters would just erupt in excitement at the Fast & Furious movies like that
>>63644402
It would not
If no ones booked in and no one walks in, we switch it off
A large part of the cost in showing the movie is the lamp hours on our projectors
>>63638038
> Go see Iron Man 3
> Be Monday morning. The theater is empty.
> Pick any seat I want.
> Middle row. Middle seat.
> Some guy walks in and sits directly behind me.
> Kicks my fucking chair and eats candy very loudly.
> I go alone and on weird days when I won't be harassed by assholes.
> Asshole finds me anyways.
>seeing age of ultron with my friends
>packed theater
>sitting next to some chick and her group of friends
>annoying cell-phone speaking noise coming from their direction
>look around and try to figure out what it is
>they're talking and laughing constantly at moments that aren't funny
>me and my friends sarcastically laugh when they do
>look over again
>realize they're getting the movie described to them because they're visually-impaired
>feel really shitty about myself
>10 minutes later
>chick gets up on her own to go to the bathroom unassisted
>comes back
>continues to laugh at the described audio for the rest of the movie
wasn't even fucking visually impaired
>>63641271
Hey, you posted this before
>>63639227
The fuck's going on there?
>>63639227
Indians friggin' LOVE movies huh? What exactly is going on here? Just another day at the movies in India?
>>63639366
That's incredibly stupid. People have this opinion?
>>63648758
>DON'T GO THERE, OH SHIET
I could type a story about the time I went to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight in Anchorage, Alaska where I almost turned into a fucking murderer because of the stupidity of the human fucking race...but I'm not gonna bother...but I will type since that incident, the number of movies I've seen in the theater I could probably count on one hand
I suffer fools neither gladly nor lately...and since most of you cock-sucking faggots are fools, I rarely patronize movie theatres
>>63640513
>>63641271
Nothing breaks my fucking immersion like people talking, and I can confirm that old ladies (I don't live in a very black area so maybe in other places it's different) are the absolute shittiest when it comes to this. I saw The Martian and a couple of retarded old bitches kept talking during that, off and on but frequent enough to be a consistent bother. Eventually when Damon's launching himself off of Mars and the Ares crew is preparing to relay with him they just start having a full-on conversation about stupid bullshit at a volume lower than normal talking but loud enough for me to hear from one row directly behind them, so I just said out loud "PLEASE STOP TALKING." The shut the fuck up after that, but there were less than 10 minutes left in the movie at that point so it didn't matter much anymore.
Nothing takes me out of a movie more than people who talk, ushers should be legally able to drag their asses out into the street in front of the cinema and shoot them.
>>63639040
Some people are so fucking weird. Why would he pick a fight with your dad? Honestly, guys like that deserve to be shot dead.
>>63639227
at least you know it would be quiet in the loo
![giphy[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/XtyMG6H.gif "giphy[1].gif")
>>63639227
Isn't the average bolly flick 3 hours of sappy, annoying singing and romancin'? I feel sorry for you senpai
>>63641735
>guys getting in a physical fight at a movie about Jesus Christ
oh the irony
![sivrrjq6sw3nuyzltzhu[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/q2m5keV.jpg "sivrrjq6sw3nuyzltzhu[1].jpg")
>>63641370
>>63641898
Did he look something like this but with a yellow cap on?
>>63657571
Why didn't you man the fuck up and tell him to quit kicking your seat?
Went to go see avengers 1 with my wife
I was particularly sensitive to people talking as I had just seen some hunger games movie with her in which some bitches were talking, since it was her movie, I promised not to say anything.
>Watching trailers
>hear 2 middle aged fat women talking through it right behind me, in a normal outside volume
>do nothing
>opening credits, they are still talking in a normal outside volume
>do nothing
>opening credits finish, they are still talking in a normal outside volume
>Shush them
>they are still talking in a normal outside volume
>shush them again, the guy behind them shushes them
>they are still talking in a normal outside volume
>I say "be quiet"
>they are still talking in a normal outside volume
>I say "be quiet" again, they stop and ask each other who that was
>they are still talking in a normal outside volume
>I say "shut up"
>They say "escuuuuse me?"
>they go back to talking in a normal outside volume
>I turn around and say "SHUT THE FUCK UP"
>the larger one starts to tell me that I don't know who I am messing with
>I say "SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE PAID FOR A TICKET TO LISTEN TO TALK NOW SHUT YOUR FAT FUCKING MOUTH GODDAMN"
>They start to get huffy
>I say "SHUT YOUR FAT FUCKING MOUTHS RIGHT FUCKING NOW"
>They mumble to themselves
>The guy behind them shushes them
>They stop talking
After the movie, they got up and looked at me, at which point one of them made eye contact with my wife, she gave them the stink eye then made like she was getting up, they left.
>>63640940
Isnt that what happened with that dark knight shooting? All th people that got shot had snuck food in the theater
>>63645775
D-Box is cool and all, but my theater charges a fuckton for it. It's like $20 a seat for 3D matinee compared to the $7.75 I'd normally pay for 3D.
> Go to theater for friends 13th bday
> See one of the x men movies dont remember which
> A mom and her kid come sit right next to me little kid in between me and his mom
> Sappy love scene i dont remember the details
> Male character lets the female that he loves her or whatever
> Little kid taps my arm and i look over
> Kid leans jn and whispers "I love you"
> wtf.gif
> Mother is embarrassed as fuck and apologizes
It was weird and fucking hilarious. I have no idea what that kids deal was desu.
>>63640704
fucking crying holy shit
>>63648311
Sounds like you are at the anime lunch table
>>63662030
"I love you, Anon"
>back in the day
>have good friend named Bobby
>Bobby has very unique and distinctive laugh
>Sort of long Haaaaaaaaaa followed by a bunch of short ha ha's
>HAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha.
>be at movies either by myself or with other friends.
>Something funny on screen
>suddenly in the darkness like a mating call
>HAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha
>Holy shit... "BOBBY?"
>"Yeah?"
>"Get up here, we're toward the back!"
>Finish movie, go hang out, good times.
>This happens about 3 or 4 times a year for a while
>Years pass
>One time last year
>Watching Guardians of the Galaxy with wife and kids
>Scene where Rocket and Groot show up
>out in the darkness
>HAAAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha. "A talking racoon!"
>yell out "Bobby?"
>''Yeah? Is that you Anon?"
>"Yep, come on back!"
>Suddenly voice from off to the side "Anon? Bobby?"
>"yeah?"
>It's Mark and Steve. two other friends from the old days.
>We all scramble seats together and finish watching the movie
>All go out to dinner after movie
>Have blast
>rekindle old friendships
>Feels great
>>63640298
Where?
Because I was working in at a cinema in a small city/large town in Austraila when PA came out and I do remember there being one night where there was fuck knows how many teenagers who came to see it and some one puked...
>>63665061
This story gave me good feels
>>63643083
>I now wonder if the movie would show even if nobody was in the theatre
No it wouldn't
>>63638205
It was Fun/Funny at the NWA movie.
Hella darkies but nothing bad
>>63638038
>Went to see ANTS with some friends
>The audience is really quiet for a Marvel movie
>Laugh hysterically at the easter eggs
>The "Tales to Astonish" line happens
>I'm the only one laughing
>The Falcon scene happens
>It's the only part where the audience reacted
>By the end, I'm clearly the only one enjoying the movie to its fullest
>The after credits scene happens
>I get mad while people clap like idiots
And that's why I'm not going to more MCU releases in the future
>be me at 11
>go to see Attack of the Clones
>halfway through the movie hear lots of fidgeting, moving etc.
>it's an entire row of people getting out of their seats to allow a pregnant woman leave
>She is being helped by her husband and she's making panicked sounds
>Water broke
>starts delivering child on cinema floor
>she has twins
>hubby freaks, sprints off with car keys
>she dies of a broken heart
>13
>Go to see some crap, invited by popular kids at school for some reason
>they invited three girls, there were three of us
>10 minutes into the movie, people start pairing off and making out
>only one grill left
>she's the hottest
>'hey anon, wanna get closer?'
>pussy out and say no
>she would have been my first kiss and was a qt3.14
>actual first kiss happens months later with a downgrade in the same cinema
>>63657576
Just say blind you dumb cunt.
Your black people sound based as fuck, wish we had more of them in Germany ;_;
>>63659481
Ok, virgin.
>went to see avengers
>friends told me it will be awesome
>everywhere KIDS, KIDS KIDS and fucking KIDS
>can't even hear the movie because "mooom, what is happening, moooooooom why are they dong this, mooooooooom moooooooooom
these stories are all shit.
>>63668270
Thats a funny looking rat
>>63668270
ur a cuck
>go see Mad Max Fury Road
>movie starts
>they forget to set the projector to 21:9
Took them 15 minutes to realise. Wasn't that big of a deal but it still triggered me.
why did you see the fucking movie again instead of watching a different movie fucking REEEE
>>63639227
can an entire race of people be autistic?
>go with friend to see Inglorious Basterds
>only places left are in the front row
>have to look up and my FOV isn't big enough to see the whole things
>actors start speaking french
>have to move the head from left to right to read the subs
>neck hurts for the next week
>another time, different movie
>dude selling icecream walks in and yells "WHO WANTS ICECREAM?"
>some dude says "yo here"
>Ice guy didn't hear and yells "WHO?"
>sombody replys with "YOUR MOM"
>almost shit my pants from laughing
>>63665738 see >>63640521
>>63669012
Saw that, ment to link to it as well.
I'm asking where in Australia, on the off chance that I was the poor bastard that had to clean up after you/them cunts
>went to see The Eagle
>I was so fucking bored throughout the movie
>mid movie the power to the theater went out for 5 mins
>wasn't a shitty theatre either
>when power comes back they had to rewind 10 mins of that snooze fest movie
>>63640502
>designated theater shooter comes in, as expected
alright you got me
>took 3/10 girl for a subway and to see paranormal activity 2
>order extra bbq sauce
>literally first bite, a long blob of sauce goes all down my jeans, go to bathroom to wash it off, it now looks if i pissed myself. the girl asked me if i pissed myself and i had to explain about the bbq sauce
>fat cunt wanted popcorn, had to be large, fucking £6 i better get a handjob in the cinema or something
>film starts
>shes screaming, almost crying
>ask her whats scary about a door closing
>cuddle up to her to try and get handjob, greedy bitch grabbed and finished off the popcorn.
>after date, tell her i'll call her
>never do
>be 17,in high school
>for extra credit go see The Lorax
> opening weekend and Danny devito
>can't be bad right?
>Fuck me ,I forgot about the kids
>spend the whole packed movie in the back while kids kept running around in light up shoes
>not one mom cared
>>63641748
Based grandma
>not entertaining the people with your hilarious laser pointer comedy during a bad movie
Plebs
>>63639227
>led lights around the screen
>be me back in elementry school
>bunch of people in my grade decide to go see movie
>my friends and i go too
>we start blasting porn on our ipods
>every time the screen went dark we'd throw handfuls of popcorn and skittles at people sitting below
>finally security came in and told us AND the 15 people from our class we had to leave kek
>mfw we got vouchers for a free movie
>mfw the people we came with started chasing us around movie theater parking lot crying saying we owed them money for movie tickets
>>63671550
The only thing that makes me mad about this is that you had an ipod in elementary school. Get back in your mom's uterus, you fetus.
>be 15/16, autistic as fuck
>my one friend is a girl who I'm really into, she says shes into me but we're too autistic to act on it, we sext often though
>she always drops hints but we never do anything, despite knowing what we're both into
>see Filth with her
>get really horny, I'm horny all the way through
>thisisit.gif
>grab her tits, drag her into my lap (we sit at the back)
>stutter "you like that?", pawing at her jeans
>she nods and I pull her up, telling her we're going to the bathroom
>drag her into cubicle, eat her out, finger her, choke her
>returned to the movie
>never did anyhitng like that again
>>63671885
Nigga that was almost a decade ago. How old are you?
>>63671550
Yfw you don't mention the poem on your ipod was gay porn.
>>63655173
that's actually hilarious
>>63638038
I chose my seats, booked. Turned up 5 mins and sat down in my perfectly positioned seats and watched the film.
Apparently there are some savage countries that don't do this.
>>63640541
This would have made it tolerable.
>>63642368
Oh fuck off
>Australian, in high school, about 16
>Go on school trip to the US
>In D.C., get to go watch the Dark Knight
>The Joker slams that guys head into the pencil
>Black people in cinema all start yelling out "oh shieet!" "DAM NIGGA" and so on
>Nothing like this in boring aus cinemas, I couldn't believe that the stereotype was actually true
>>63639000
It never struck me until now but the last thing those poor people ever saw was the fucking opening plane scene
>watching straight outta compton opening night
>packed cinema
>towards the end of the movie
>really serious scene where eazy e dies, cant really remember anything else
>one of the actors says something followed by like 10 seconds of silence
>someone in the audience rips the loudest fart I've ever heard
>burst out laughing, no one else is laughing
>people actually turn around and stare at me rather than the guy who just shat his pants
>>63642823
ha nice one good sir
>>63665061
Fucking bobby
>playing DS while I wait for the trailers to start
>notice three people down the rows also playing DS
>wait until they go into Pictochat
>join their room, ask to play
>we play Mario Kart and Bomberman
>Go and See journey to the center of the earth
>Fucking garbage movie and there is some autistic kid clicking his fingers every 5 seconds so i couldnt focus
>Get to near the end of the movie
>They get blasted out of a volcano
for some reason, i let out a very muffled "weeeeeeeeeeee" like they were on a rollercoaster
>Whole cinema laughs
i still dont know why everyone laughed. I also dont know how they heard me, it was barely above a soft voice
>Episode II
>Yoda walks out
>Everyone stands and begins cheering, clapping, and yelling YO DA YO DA YO DA
>Guy behind me dumps drink onto me
>I turn to yell WHAT THE FUCK MAN
>He is to busy cheering for Yoda to notice
>Guy next to me elbows me into person on my other side
>They shove me into my seat
Worse experience I've ever had.
>Simpsons with then girlfriend, both of us virgins
>Alone with her, a during day showing
>We planned to fuck because, lol, who wants to see a movie?
>Movie starts, we're on 2nd to top row. No one else in theater.
>Drop her pants, she sits in my lap with my dick out between her legs...
>JUST ABOUT TO STICK IT IN. SO CLOSE.
>Fat neck beard comes in, wheezing, coughing.
>OH FUCK GET IN YOUR SEAT
>He slowly comes up. I think he is management. We're caught.
>He has a giant over-sized box of pop-corn, and a huge drink.
>He comes up to the TOP MOST ROW
>SITS RIGHT BEHIND US
>He sits there wheezing the entire movie, coughing, sucking on his drink loudly
>Moment lost.
>go see Interstellar
>smoke weed in the parking lot before going inside
>get to school meeting part
>Matthew McConaughheyhehahey
>"One of those useless machines they used to make was called an MRI, and if we had any of those left the doctors would've been able to find the cyst in my wife's brain, before she died instead of after, and then she would've been the one sitting here listening to this, instead of me, which would've been a good thing, cause she was always the calmer one"
>burst out laughing because the whole scene was so hokey and that sealed it
good movie tho
>>63661130
I'm a grill btw senpai
Back in the summer of 2005, I went to go see Revenge of the Sith with my cousins. I was in front of this fanboy who kept waving his lightsaber you around. I got banged in the head and told the guy to quit that shit. He told me that I wasn't the boss of him so I got the usher to escort him out.
What's worse is that this was a grown man with kids doing this. I was 15 and just wanted to watch a movie, but this sperglord couldn't control himself so he got kicked out. The wife stayed behind with the kiddies so I kinda felt bad but have some self-control in public.
>>63667652
>She was a good friend.
>>63638205
I live in rural England so there's barely any niggers here. Saw that shitty spooky doll movie with my brother and one nigger at the front kept screaming "OH SHIT AWW NAWWW" all the way throughout. It actually made me enjoy the movie more.
>>63638205
>Go to see Straight Outta Compton
>Only white guy in attendance
>All the black people singing and dancing to the lyrics in their seats
>Occasionally something serious happened and they will scream "AW SHIET" or "DAYUM"
>Find the black theatergoers more entertaining then the movie itself, trying not to bust out laughing at some of the shit they do
Yeah all in all they are quite fun to watch
>>63648403
Obviously not alive in the 70's
>>63651705
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
>Go to see LOTR opening weekend.
>Cousin is a fat retard and we get there late because of his fat retardedness.
>"H-hey let's sit in the FRONT ROW."
>For fuck sake.
>Squeeze in to the front row.
>I'm only 13 at the time, a skinny wee lad.
>Sit down, have to gaze up at the screen.
>Neck is hurting after 15 minutes.
>Nose accidentally touches the screen a few times.
>Hear audible tutting from behind me.
>Accidentally do it again and again, can't help it.
>From the back row some guy shouts, "HEY KID, STOP SHAKING THE SCREEN!"
Was a shit night t͏͏b͏͏h f͏͏a͏͏m. I hate living in England.
>Opening night of Evil Dead Reboot
>Take my goth gf
>LA Theater
>Full of highschool black kids
>Everyone is screaming
>Kids in the back singing the Halo Theme song
>In the front, people are stomping and clapping the Terminator song
>Coins start getting thrown around
>Movie gets turned off, we have to leave.
>Everyone starts chimping out
>>63639366
My local cinema has the rule that showings after 10:30pm or showings in the screens that have bar access are over 18s only. It's great.
>Watching The Martian with senpai
>annoying girl laughs at every single joke on screen
>a really annoying laugh, almost forced laugh
>claps when the Chinese rocket booster makes it into orbit
>laughs at dramatic stuff that isn't even funny
>claps at the end of the movie
Ruined it for me
worst time
>Got reserved seats for Wolf on Wallstreet
>Take my super anxiety ex gf
>Someone is in our seats
>She freaks out, starts crying in the theater and runs out
>She literally breaks down and starts hitting me
>Group of black chicks push her back
>I have no idea what to do, i just walk out with my head down
>Leave her there and drive off
Crazy thing is, I let this shit happen to me so many times. Stayed with her for 2 years.
>>63675130
>planning to have sex
>not seated at the last row
For what purpose?
>>63644329
I remember when I made the whole theatre laugh when i cracked one single joke during the friday the 3th remake
You cant remember a single joke you made?
