> Be me
> Visit america
> Order ticket at the machine
> There is a no singles policy in effect
> I could bypass this if I select the falcon option
> My theater falcon swoops down and roost on my shoulder
> Order a medium coke and crabs legs for the falcon and I
> Ticket lady rips my ticket, proceed to the movie
> Sit down
> My falcon fucks off to the falcon pillar with some crab legs
> sea crustacean armor dropping on peoples heads
> The movie begins
> Mandatory designated theater shooter barges in and begins to open fire
> I pull my ballistics shield out from under my chair
> theres graffiti written on it saying 'wage keks' plus there is a burger wrapper with a tomato slice on the thing.
> this is disgusting so I decide to walk out
> Falcons flipping shit and clawing at shooter
> I walk passed the designated theater shooter and the birds
> Head to the theater showers
> I have to pay extra for a mandatory theater frog
> order therapy shower mode
> a nice lady scrubs my hair, washed my balls and even gives my theater frog a massage with her thumbs
> the movie was gem and the holograms
>>63591158
I forgot about the part where everybody clapped.
>>63591158
> Be me
>>63591158
>theres graffiti written on it saying 'wage keks' plus there is a burger wrapper with a tomato slice on the thing
kek
>>63591158
> I walk passed
It's walk past, uneducated plebian.
>falcon
>not eagle
Literally 1 job
>>63591158
>theres graffiti written on it saying 'wage keks' plus there is a burger wrapper with a tomato slice on the thing.
SAVAGE
>>63591158
0/0
>Be me
>go to theater
>get shot
>Last thing I hear is clapping
>>63591158
You aren't funny.
>>63593829
ur not funny, at least he tried
>>63593854
>Shitting up the board with le dank memes XD constitutes as trying
Simply ebin
>bored on Saturday afternoon
>go to theater
>say, "one for Creed at 2pm"
>qt cashier girl says, "enjoy the show." doesn't even laugh at me or call security
>get perfect spot in the middle
>enjoy the movie (it's really good. go see it)
>as i leave the theater someone taps on my shoulder
>it's some huge chad dude who says, "I need a boxing partner. 100 grand if you can land a punch on me"
>i get into a fight stance like neo
>entire theater is circled around us chanting "fight! fight! fight!"
>he flails wildly at me, he can't land a single punch
>i scoff and say, "enough of these games"
>i dart toward the chad dude, landing a single punch on his nose
>he stands there not knowing what happened and then his entire face caves in
>i put on my fedora and hand a rose to the cutest girl i see
>she friendzoned me btw
>>63593926
replying just bumps it back up to the top
why did you even post?
>>63593926
>bitch about memes
>memeposts
Quality retort.
>>63593854
i was only pretending to be not funny idiot
i liked it op
>be a big bond head
>decide to go see new James bond with another bond head
>get to the theater and he got in an accident so he can't make it
>have to go single
>buy my ticket
>buy a large popcorn
>sit in theater and enjoy the film
Can't wait to dub this on VHS for the archive. Easily 5 bags of popcorn and maybe a pen that shoots bullets or some other bond gadget.
>>63594579
Greg, it's past your bedtime.
>>63591158
It's "Jem" you sonofabitch
