ITT: We post retarded stuff from Star Wars EU
>pic related
>Literal Mary Sue Ship
>Fightersized ship that can destroy not just planets but entire star systems
>Bullshit armor that makes it invincible
>Has hyperdrive
>Takes a shot from the freaking Death Star and doesn't even get damaged
>Somehow the emperor didn't knew about it and the writer had to have a character fly this thing into a black hole to get rid of it
Topless jedi centaur
That is all.
LoL I had that micromachine as a kid, it's set was one of my favorites.
Can't believe that's the dumb shit it was supposed to do though, little kid me would have thrown it out if I suspected it's origins were so gay.
>>63538423
I need more details
>>63538359
I thought one second it was Titan AE's ship.
Thanks op for the feels.
this is Irek Ismaren, the illegimate son of the emperor who is 3 meters tall, has a cybernetic implant that allows him to control droids with his mind. he was stabbed in the brain with a lightsaber but thankfully his mom replaced those parts with computers. he ofcourse lost his memory through amnesia and attacked a jedi temple. He was killed and his death was felt through the force, but ofcourse he escaped.
>>63538359
Kevin J Anderson is the biggest hack in the fucking multiverse. It's amazing they let a guy with that little talent write so much of the EU.
>>63538541
Obi-Wan being a big guy
>>63538359
>not posting the yuuzhan vong
One job anon. Although that's literally the most retarded plot tool ship ever made.
>>63538541
>>63538565
>lightsabers on his knees and elbows
>>63538576
God damn iPhone
>midichlorians
>Anakin defeating ancient Jedi gods
>force sensitive trees
>Hans black wife
>chewie using a light saber in combat
>ewoks
>spider Darth maul
Oh wait, this shit is canon
>>63538541
He was a good friend.
>thread is only 10 min old
Guess that's why there hasn't been a post about Mara Jade from that one autist who rants about her in every single EU thread yet
You know the red droid in the beginning of a New Hope that breaks down when Luke is about to buy it?
It's name is Skippy. And it can use the force. It used to serve at Jabbas Palace, serving drinks and using the force to keep them from spilling. He managed to escape, wandered in the desert and got picked up by the Jawas.
When he saw Luke he had a vision that if Luke didn't get R2 Leia would die, the rebel alliance would fail, empire would win. So he made himself malfunction and made C3P0 tell Luke to get R2 instead.
You can't make this shit up.
>>63538541
>>63538565
hahahHAHAHAHHhhahahah
>>63538608
Sounds like some jelly female autist whose delusional dreams of marrying Luke were shattered by some writer.
mole miners
Jorus C'baoth,
>>63538624
Skippy was pretty much a parody of the EU. If you his comic it's pretty tongue in cheek
Did anyone ever read those Galaxy of Fear novels when they were a kid? I read a few and they were pretty bad.
>>63538698
>Galaxy Of Fear
I had all those books as a kid, they were hilariously bad.
>that time the kids teamed up with Dash Rendar to stop Not-SHODAN from entering The Internet
>that time they fought an evil living planet that eventually eats itself out of existence like Pizza The Hutt
>that time they fought a mad scientist who tripped down a flight of stairs and broke his neck at the end
>that time they went to an evil amusement park that hooked them up to a dream machine
>that time Darth Vader fought a clone of himself
>>63538605
I had to look up Spider Darth Maul and I found out that he has a brother literally named Savage Opress.
This is the Sith Emperor, who, through several host bodies, ruled the galaxy for over 1300 years. He is physically incapable of emotion or empathy. His plan was to kill everyone in the galaxy, and become so powerful and long-living that he would witness the end of this universe and the birth of the next, for all time. He killed his parents when he was like 5 or something and could assert his will on people through the force. He learned to extend his consciousness through multiple bodies and could soon control thousands of people all over the galaxy. He rarely used a lightsaber and could simply block lightsaber swings with the force. His force lightning was purple and fired like a beam, and made things explode. he could also make copies of himself.
>>63538876
>>63538541
How do people get their OC donut steel characters published and considered canon?
Star wars is for children.
>>63539047
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzq9epS2b1A
the sith emperor is the iciest motherfucker in the entire star wars EU
>>63539047
by writing for a fixed salary and signing over all profits to Lucas.
>>63538834
>Savage Opress
oh but it's okay because the pronounce it "sav-ajj".
>>63538359
>Luu(uuuuuu~)ke
>>63539152
C'mon, Dave Filoni is Lucas' lapdog so I'm sure he named him but the character and the story arc are all really good. Besides, Sheev kills him like its nothing anyway.
>>63539146
Man, what a fucking ripoff.
>>63539237
>GUYS THE CLONE WARS IS SRS BUSINESS FOR ADULTS
>>63539237
I think changing the pronunciation was their way of getting around the dumb name "Savage".
>>63539254
hence the quality level.
they're basically paid fanfiction writers and deserve no sympathy. a huge part of writing is to get passed the initial hurdle of your audience's initial indifference to your characters and world, if you don't want to even try to do that then I don't think you deserve to get paid royalties.
It's not like there's not a market for completely derivative knock-offs of LOTR and romance/detective/crime/spy fiction.
>>63539263
It had its moments but it's definitely meant for fans. It's not going to win over anyone who didn't already like SW.
>>63539290
Hell, maybe Filoni or his writing staff did that to help prevent Lucas from creating another "General Grievous"
>>63538541
don't for get Triclops, the OTHER illegitimate son of the emperor who has a magic eye on the back of his head that sees designs for superweapons (dont't fucking ask me how that works)
>>63538552
i don't care about star wars books but why is he allowed to touch fucking dune?
who do we get to write the continuation of the greatest science fiction novel of all time? how about this guy that's literally too stupid for star wars? sounds like a great idea!
>>63539219
I always saw that getting posted but never looked at it. I thought the wiki had a whole article on Aunt Beru calling Luke in ANH.
>>63538359
doesn't a huge alien live in that black hole and was the villain of the last EU books before the EU was canned
>>63538359
inb4 black wife.jpg
>All Hutts are fat gangsters because Jabba
>All mandalorians wear the same armor as Boba
>Dark Jedis, Grey Jedis
>Siths as ancient race
>IG-88 as Deathstar
>Vibroblades
>Cortosis
>Mofferences on Moffships
>Dude with blasters as earrings
>Sith inquisitors, Sith prophets
>Sheev's son is three eyed mutant
>>63538605
>force sensitive trees
This makes me think of a potted plant in the Jedi council room that turns out to be one of the jedi masters.
>>63538423
it would be hot if they were not so ugly.like the catpeople its hot conseptually but shitty in execution
you read star wars fanfiction while having the audacity to call others retards?
>>63538541
>he ofcourse lost his memory
he was offically retarded. his mental capacity was that of a 4 year old tops
>>63538423
>topless jedi centaur
You can't just say these words then not explain yourself
>>63538608
she is ok. went out easy and her soul searching was not fun but overall I don't recall anything bad
>>63538624
it was a joke comic you retarded casual
>>63539219
Came here to post LUUUUUKE
>>63539636
>Dark/Gray Jedi
What's wrong with a force user who doesn't follow the Jedi or Sith?
>>63538876
>physically incapable of emotion or empathy
most people are; these are mental abilities.
what drek, glad the EU is scrapped if the writing was this kind of mis-used garbage.
>>63539862
It's emo shit for edgy teenagers
>>63538876
he was sheev if sheev had lived. I don't recall all of it but he was a slave womans kid, I don't think he killed both of his parents. He started out as a regualr fag with a normal name,etc eventually to take on other sith lords the group of sith that he was part of tried some ritual that would give uber power to 1 of them in exhange for all loves on their world. he double crossed his sith master, took the power and went on to fuck up other sith and take their worlds.
>assert his will on people through the force
all sith can do that to a degree
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Order 66 Cookies? They are a brand of cookies made by Sheev's Bakery and Confections inc. to commemorate Empire Day, the anniversary of the day the Galactic Empre was formed which also happened to be the day your father slaughtered the Jedi (even the Younglings) and then I chopped his arms and legs off and left him to burn alive by a pool of lava just before you mother lost the will to live right after she gave birth to you and your sister. High in fibre and low in fat, they are a healthy treat, and a good snack. May I offer you a bag? A trooper by the name of Stormtrooper TK-555 was personally responsible for counting and packaging all the cookies. Instead of having him fight in any of the battles that were going on, they stationed him in an immense cookie factory where he all by himself counted and packaged all the aforementioned Order 66 cookies. Sheev eventually executed him because he found out that Stormtrooper TK-555 had eaten a few cookies on the sly, which was a big no-no. He was a good friend.
>>63539862
it turned into facebook fagotry where basically people sit on a fence and want all the power with no downsides or obligations. I like white current and other force cults but gray jedi is just bull
>>63538359
The EU was memes before memes.
>>63539870
which prophet is more important? Why do half of them look like chinese and russian caricatures
>>63538876
How the fuck do people accuse sonic of being the most autistic fanbase when you fuckers have shit like this canon? And you even bitch about when it gets thrown out.
>>63539636
>All Hutts are fat gangsters because Jabba
>All Hutts are fat
Ok, they're slug people, I can deal with this
>All Hutts are gangsters
Fucking why?
>Cortosis
mothafuckin' mcguffins, man
>Mofferences on Moffships
kek
>>63539862
The force doesn't work that way. The difference between light and dark (originally) was similar to the fable about the sun and wind. So grays would be people with neither anger/will or zen-like enlightenment, which are also opposing.
fuck you rick berman.
>>63540101
>which prophet is more important?
Supreme means more than High
> Why do half of them look like chinese and russian caricatures
Because Empire is Space Nazi Commies
>>63540103
Because there's nothing in the sonic canon to really write about.
>>63538541
Luke, did I ever tell you about Irek Ismaren, the illegimate son of the emperor who is 3 meters tall, has a cybernetic implant that allows him to control droids with his mind? he was stabbed in the brain with a lightsaber but thankfully his mom replaced those parts with computers. he ofcourse lost his memory through amnesia and attacked a jedi temple. He was killed and his death was felt through the force, but ofcourse he escaped. And he was a good friend.
>>63539870
>Dunhausen was predominantly known for two things; his scheming nature, and for always wearing a pair of blaster-shaped earrings.
>>63538423
Beldorion is more retarded.
>>63540131
>Fucking why?
what are you going to do with your life if it was you? archaeology?its not like they are all gangsters, hel lthere are ven jedi hutts(which I would count among the stupid parts of EU)
I'm also glad they scrapped a lot of the EU, but it doesn't appear as if the new EU they're building will be much better. The Clone Wars is still canon and it has a lot of corny shit in it.
>All of those Vader's secret apprentices
Geez Vader had a fucking sith school or something
>>63540283
This. No fucking difference it's the same shit
>>63540142
that's a Gray Jedi though.
Dark 'Jedi' are clearly bad, but they're neither Jedi or Sith
>>63539870
>>63540244
ITT: Characters that remind you of yourself
For me it’s Grand Muff Dunhausen – scheming nature and always wearing a pair of blaster-shaped earrings.
>>63540342
Darth Vader is a Dark Jedi you mongoloid
>>63539414
Hey Leto. Did I ever tell you about the massive cultural-religious reactionary conflict against computers and the computer mindset? Yeah I just remembered that it was actually a Terminator style robot uprising. If you need more info just ask Duncan. He is a good friend
>>63539393
Wasn't the whole point that Triclops WASN'T the son of Sheev? That's why he stole Darth Vader's glove (thinking it would give him the ability to use the force) and why he had to fake it with technology.
>>63540131
Gangster is just a word.
They're the same as any scottish lord in past times. They controlled an area, dominated it and fought with neighbours.
>>63539426
> I thought the wiki had a whole article on Aunt Beru calling Luke in ANH.
>>63540131
Gangster is just a word.
They're the same as any other scottish lord in past times. Controlling an area through force, fighting with neigbours, stealing cattle.
>>63540131
if it appeared once in the movies then it becomes the defining characterisitic of the entire race and culture.
All mandalorians are bounty hunters and mercenaries
Boushh's race worships thermal detonators
Female Twi'leks are all sex slaves and exotic dancers
>>63540339
Is that a laser katana?
>>63540410
>I'm a "The prequels are non-canon" guy
>>63540676
>All mandalorians are bounty hunters and mercenaries
Mandalorians are pacifists now according to the tv series.
>>63540693
>Jedi who turns to the dark side
Where in the prequels did they contradict that part of his character
>>63540681
its an ancient lightsaber from the old republic. obi wan is fighting the leader of a mandalorian group called death watch that want to revive the warlike culture of mandalore
>>63540711
Nah, they WERE a warlike people who eventually chose to become pacifists, and Star Wars ISIS doesn't like this so they bomb shit.
>>63540711
how dare they insult Jaster's memory like that
long live mandalore
>>63538876
>incapable of emotion
isn't that the source of sith power?
Why are casual Reddit fans too stupid to realize canon Star Wars is just as shit as the EU? There's plenty of actually good EU that has now been trashed like shadow of the empire, kotor, and SOME stuff from Thrawn.
>>63540734
Dark Jedi don't HAVE to be fallen Jedi.
>"Dark Jedi was a term used to describe a type of individual who practiced the dark side of the Force."
>>63540861
Dash Rendar's ship is in the special edition of ep. 4, which means Dash is still canon which means Shadow of the Empire is still canonr-right?
>>63540868
So still, where does that contradict Vader being a dark jedi?
All of the video game KOTOR2. God damn that was some retarded shit.
>>63540904
They had a replica of Outrider's interior in the latest Star Wars celebration.
>>63540904
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQVRTvysHcU
>tfw you thread the needle
>>63540861
>KOTOR
>Thrawn
>Good
Hahaha you are just nostalgic
>>63541076
I guess the whole Rakata thing is a bit too convenient and silly but other than that if you don't like the first KotOR, you just don't like Star Wars period.
>>63540916
Because he became a Sith.
Had he abandoned the Jedi in favor of the dark side without becoming Sheev's apprentice, he'd be a "Dark Jedi"
>>63538565
>I'M FUCKING INVINCIBLE
>>63538541
>>63539393
Poor Sheev, his kids are fucking useless faggots.
>>63541133
I like KOTOR but the story is really EU in nutshell
>>63540543
Sure, but they are a species. How would that have come about, and how would it work?
Not all (true) Scotsmen are feudal lords. If everyone in Scotland lived in their own personal castle on their own personal fiefdom, it would be ridiculous.
If the only occupation on your planet is organized crime, how is it even crime?
>>63541076
Thrawn was shit and KOTOR was an interactive kids' cartoon, but the x-wing book series was good young adult fiction
>>63539119
Is this stuff considered canon or nah
>>63541492
Nope.
>>63541318
in the EU the Hutts rule their own little area of space and have several vassal species that serve them. They are still nominally subjects of the Empire but their semi-autonomous status gives members of their species more wiggle room to get away with shady activities than most other people. It's similar to how Israelis have a thriving gangster industry with human trafficking and such because they have Israeli citizens in lots of other countries who can just run back to Israel if they bring too much heat on themselves.
>>63538541
>>63539393
>>63539636
>>63540242
>>63540539
How the fuck is Sheev having all these kids...isn't the whole point that he's the ultimate, most supreme gentleman in the history of the Star Wars universe?
>>63541329
Nah m8 KotoR I & II and Thrawn are the shit.
>>63541294
KOTOR story isn't that retarded
Did some digging. Found our Jedi Centaur. 404 tits not found.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lusa
>>63538624
Star Wars Tales was a BASED comic series.
The Skippy the Jedi droid was a fucking joke comic you pleb.
>>63539636
>IG-88 as Deathstar
didnt know what this was so i looked it up. its ridiculous, here's a summary:
>IG-88 actually works or an exact replica of himself, IG-88a, who plans for a droid revolution
>somehow this is why IG-88 is an assassin droid
>shit hits the fan and a bunch of IG-88s get killed
>last surviving one secretly uploads its consciousness to the second Death Star
>IG-88 is the Death star
>Only Sheev is powerful enough to notice
>IG-88 antagonizes Sheev by opening and closing doors at random
>Sheev attempts to open door with the force
>IG-88 notices and ramps up the power
>Sheev can't open door
>IG-88 keeps Sheev locked in room until he is no longer amused
>IG-88 has secret plans to use the Death Star to bring about the droid revolution
>most powerful being in the universe basically
>almost finished with construction
>suddenyl a bear-midget rebellion manages to knock out your shields
>Death Star gets BTFO by a black dude and his hispanic alien friend (suck it JJ)
>IG-88 is killed
>>63542625
>>IG-88 antagonizes Sheev by opening and closing doors at random
>Sheev attempts to open door with the force
>IG-88 notices and ramps up the power
>Sheev can't open door
I can't breath
>>63540539
Jesus christ get it together you pleb. TRIOCULUS was the impostor three eyed son of Sheev who stole Darth Vader's glove and outfitted it with technology to create the illusion that he had powers before he was assassinated via laser vision by a Life Model Robotic Decoy of Leia on their wedding day. TRICLOPS was Sheev's legitimate three eyed son whose powers were real.
>>63538576
>Dr. Plapatine, I'm JEDI
>>63542992
This never happened. I will not accept that this happened.
This stupid sh-- oh wait.
It's actually canon and not even EU, welp.
Good job Disney.
>>63543097
is this from clone wars?
clone wars is considered canon
>>63542992
hilarious desu
>>63538876
This is basically Darth Coldsteel
>>63541531
underrated kek, m80
>>63543126
It's from Rebels.
>ctrl f
>Light sith
BEHOLD!
>>63538876
His design is cool though
>>63543193
holy fuck
>>63543185
Still canon
>>63543185
>>63543222
rebels is good tee bee h
>>63543097
>>63543347
Its ok ,I only watch it for the clones though
>>63542992
>>63542625
im out of words
>>63540904
>>63541563
But Rotj, the prequels, the new comics and the clone wars cartoon isn't shit? Ok thanks.
>>63543097
The ultimate defense!
The worst offense.
>>63542625
>IG-88 antagonizes Sheev by opening and closing doors at random
>IG-88 keeps Sheev locked in room until he is no longer amused
only way to explain this is EU writers trying to see what they could get away with submitting and discovering their material wasn't even being proofread
>>63542625
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jizz-box
>>63543496
It didn't really workout too well.
>>63543592
>"You sound like a festerin' jizz-box. I got a festerin' jizz-box right over there in that corner."
―The assistant manager of the Wookiee's Codpiece
>>63542992
>he was assassinated via laser vision by a Life Model Robotic Decoy of Leia on their wedding day
Bloody hell
>>63543641
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nicki
>>63543347
no its not
>>63542625
>IG-88 keeps Sheev locked in room until he is no longer amused
Is this a fucking sitcom
>>63543097
Never watched the series, how is that spinning saber thing even useful?
>Anakin was an immaculate conception
Wait nevermind that isn't EU
>>63543915
it functions normally too. Its nearly unstoppable when thrown
>>63543961
>jedi use gillette for women razors to test for magic nanobots
>>63543961
At least it's implied later that he's the product of force bio-engineering
>>63538359
none of the EU is cannon anymore with disney and the new movie. Sorry breh, even the thrawn trilogy is out the door.
>>63542625
The Trioculus stuff was literally children's books and were some of the first bits of EU stuff published by a Lucasfilms that didn't know they could make money off books
The IG-88 thing is a short story by, guess who, Kevin J Anderson
Boba Fett:
>Falls into the Sarlacc in VI
>Escapes the Sarlacc
>Gets mistaken for a droid by some jawas
>These same jawas have just stolen R2D2
>Han then accidentally crashes the sandcrawler Fett was on into the Sarlacc
>Then he escapes the Sarlacc again
is the darth caedus story any good?
it looks intresting from what i've heard
>>63539426
>I thought the wiki had a whole article on Aunt Beru calling Luke in ANH.
would not surprise me at all if they did
>>63544109
I'm sure glad I never got into the EU. What a waste of time that would have been.
>>63544109
Wow it's almost as if that's completely fucking irrelevant to the point of the thread.
>cannon
>inb4 pretend
>>63544174
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlDWsWXCen0
>>63538653
Mole miners aren't stupid.
What is stupid was that in the Star Wars universe, only a strategic and tactical super genius like Grand Admiral Thrawn is capable of coming up with the idea of boarding operations. And because nobody's ever done this before, boarding craft don't exist, so Thrown has to weaponize industrial equipment.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
>Appearances
>Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope (First appearance)
>The Courtship of Princess Leia (First identified as Breast)
>Hard Merchandise (Mentioned only)
>>63544334
KEK
>>63540285
>new cannon
>already 3 inquisitors
Why aren't they mentioned at all in ep. IV? They were hardly a secret.
>>63542625
>IG-88 antagonizes Sheev by opening and closing doors at random
The great shame about the EU purge is that we lose gems like Kyle Katarn
>>63538876
>He is physically incapable of emotion or empathy.
So he's incapable of using the dark side of the force.
So is Dash Rendar considered to be canon or no? Was always really into him.
>>63544722
His ship is canon at least
>>63543496
The ultimate defense!
Other than the open vulnerable hole right in the middle.
>>63538359
retarded things eh?
>yuzong Vong: Space jihadis that actually win before their home planet comes to life and everyone accepts them as dindus after their leaders get killed off
>>63544540
Kyle Katarn was made by someone who doesn't understand Star Wars
>Dude I don't wanna be Imperial soldier so Iam gonna steal Deathstar plans
>Hurray Iam gonna be Jedi all I have to do is visit that Jedi tomb
>From my point of view Jedi are evil I don't wanna use their magic anymore I reject all Jedi Mana and spells
>Dude I need to be Jedi again so Iam gonna visit that Jedi place to restore my Jedi powers
>>63542625
>IG-88 antagonizes Sheev by opening and closing doors at random
>Sheev attempts to open door with the force
>IG-88 notices and ramps up the power
>Sheev can't open door
>IG-88 keeps Sheev locked in room until he is no longer amused
>>63538359
>Noone posts that stupid mary sue nerd from jedi academy who never leaves alone
>>63544558
he rejects the basic hurrdurr jedi/sith dichotomy
he linked minds with a sith lord for just a brief moment and the sith lord went mad
Are the two ewok movies cannon or legend [EU] now?
>>63544736
Wait, what? How can there be an Outrider with no Dash?
![obi-wan-ghost1[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/yCnKLcu.png "obi-wan-ghost1[1].png")
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time Han Solo and Chewbacca crash landed on a mysterious planet called Earth? Solo died in the crash, and Chewbacca roamed the forests for hundreds of years, eventually becoming known to the natives as "Sasquatch". Solo's skeleton was found centuries later by an explorer named Indiana Jones.
>>63544870
The Outrider appears in the Special Edition of Star Wars Episode 4 so it's canon. But we don't see Dash flying it or anything. He's presumably canon.
Shadows of the Empire Anthology movie when?
>>63539870
>Trioculus
>three eyes
Bravo
>>63544901
applause, dude.
>>63544843
>two ewok movies
pls what
>>63543915
It's supposed to scare untrained force users into fucking up, and act as a crutch for the barely trained inquisitors.
As later revealed, when it loses the scare factor, it gets utterly rekt.
>Kotor
>Set 4000 years before a the OT
>Good and evil story about jedi and space outlaws help a rebellion fight an evil sith overlord and his armies.
>Technology looks all used future
>OT
>Set 4000 years after KOTOR
>Good and evil story about jedi an space outlaws help a rebellion fight an evil sith lord and his armies
>Technology has in no way progressed in the slightest
kotor basically undid everything special about the setting of the OT.
>>63538552
>It's amazing they let a guy with that little talent write so much of the EU.
Considering the entire EU is a mountain of shit that isn't surprising in the slightest.
>>63544783
this is post is made by someone who doesn't understand that greentexting a Reductio ad absurdum argument won't help convince anyone who knows anything about the character in question.
>>63544843
They are Legends
Literally the only things that are canon right now are episodes 1-6, Clone Wars, Rebels, and the shitty comics and books Disney is producing right now
>>63540831
That's the jedi. Sith run on hate and angst.
>>63545032
That's because the whole thing was just a tribute to the OT rather than trying to be its own thing.
Plus they didn't want to damage the brand recognition by making it look too different.
>>63539219
That's a big lightsaber
>>63545123
And so all they did was make the original films just a chrological rehash of a 4000 year loop of countless "muh evil emperors"
Anything dealing with force artifacts automatically sucks - even Jedi Temples only kind of sort of make sense on an old, overgrown, life-rich planet like Dagobah.
Oh no! It's Mr. Sith Man, out to steal the Sith Thing that everyone forgot about until now. I hear it makes a Sith even Sithier.
Hack writing, every time.
>>63545123
I don't get why is it had to be 4000 years? Why not just 1000?
>>63544039
I get the feeling that if you threw that it'd spin like four times and then stop, with the inside part turning like mad.
>>63545283
I'm wondering that myself.
The total lack of in canon technological progression would make more sense if it was only 1000 years where everyone could be like "well eveyrthing works well enough. Don't need to improve it". But over 4000 years?
Oh please. Something's got to give there.
>>63539636
I love IG-88, the boss fight against him in shadows of the empire always made me scared and tense as fuck as a kid.
>>63545228
I liked it when it was holocrons chronicling the knowledge of some ancient force user
Though that knowledge usually amounted to "don't get angry" or "check it out, get like super angry, that's the trick"
Or "there's a big space weapon"
Nevermind, fuck holocrons
Reminder that the EU was never, ever canon as Lucas only considered things he himself worked on canon. He allowed people to make stories but they weren't canon.
>>63545425
Only one I ever liked was in Empire At War, when they found a vault full of prototype Dark Troopers or battle droids.
>>63545436
Yeah but at the time he wasn't working on the prequels, so no one expected him to produce more shit
The EU was just a way of keeping this dead fandom (and cash cow) afloat
>>63545419
Yeah for some reason he's creepy as fuck
>>63539636
You forgot Buboicullaar, nothing beats this nigga
>Before becoming a member of Jabba's court, Bubo had been a spy and assassin for many years.
>He was an unemotional killer, who only killed people for the money.[1]
>After Jabba's death at the Great Pit of Carkoon, Bubo willingly allowed the B'omarr Monks to place his brain in a jar so he too could ponder the infinite. He became friends with fellow newcomers to the B'omarr, Tessek and Bib Fortuna.[6]
>>63545088
I fucking hate the EU and was overjoyed when they killed it, but I find it equally awful that Disney is just retconning the EU only to make their own version of it
That 2002 Clone Wars series was GOAT. The new one is horrible.
>>63545395
According to the EU, technology progresses very very slowly in the Star Wars universe.
>>63545674
Wtf he was just an animal in the movie
Darth Maul surviving being cut and half and falling a billion stories to become a robo-spider centaur.
Oh wait, that's canon.
>>63545771
I actually thought that living standards in OT is so shitty because after clone wars it's post apocalyptic world. Well prequels fucked up everything again
>>63545687
>GOAT
>turning jedi into super saiyans/samurai jack
>>63545821
Are you serious? How come Star Wars has any respect?
>>63545107
Has there even been a sith that ran on joy and happiness?
>>63545894
His horns grew quite a bit too
>>63545821
I thought this was a fan canon for how the prequel trilogy should have happened.
>>63545852
You do know Coruscant was originally going to be in the OT right? That's where most of the prequels take place and since its the capital planet of the entire galaxy, of course the living conditions are going to be nice.
>>63545946
Nope, his brother finds him mentally broken on a junkyard planet and takes him to a witch to mentally fix him.
Mentally restored and with a fancy pair of actual robo legs, he then seeks vengeance on Obi Wan.
>>63543614
that was the first thing it thought of when i saw the gif above
jesus christ star wars is retarded
>>63542625
>>63545674
That fuckin' Tales of Jabba's Palace
Half the stories are just padded with reselling a of events from OTHER STORIES
Four of the stories end with the person getting their brain stuck in a spider droid, which is some bullshit from a pen and paper RPG
>>63545032
The technology thing didn't make much sense, but KOTOR wasn't about space outlaws. It was about the Republic fighting the sith.
>>63545419
>>63545548
That fight was the best Terminator game we're ever gonna get
>Obi-Wan Kenobi leaves a cantina, sensing the Force in someone. Suddenly, unbeknownst to Obi-Wan, an astromech droid serving drinks at Jabba's Palace is bumped into by Boba Fett, spilling one of the drinks from his tray. But before it can hit the ground, the droid, named R5-D4, is able to reach out with his mind and turn the drink back in its upright position and serve it to Jabba the Hutt; thankfully nobody had noticed what had just happened, as it had gone by so fast.
>One day, R5 removed his restraining bolt with the Force, and Force persuaded the Gamorrean guards to let him leave. R5 wandered the desert for days in search of his destiny, until finally he was picked up by a Jawa sandcrawler. There he had visions of Darth Vader and Princess Leia, and met R2-D2 and C-3PO. Eventually the Sandcrawler stopped, took all the droids out, and lined them up side by side in front of Owen Lars and Luke Skywalker. R5 immediately sensed the Force in Luke, and persuaded Owen to choose him. R5 was ecstatic at the undoubtable destiny that lay before him and Luke.
>However, R5 soon envisioned that, without Luke, stormtroopers would come and take R2 back to Vader, where he would be destroyed and Leia would be killed, leading to a chain reaction of horror that will include the Rebellion being destroyed, R2's memory being wiped after 3PO refuses to translate his 'rubbish', and Luke dying on Tatooine without ever fulfilling his destiny. R5 knew what he had to do, and suddenly set off a mild explosion inside himself, leading Luke to believe that he had a busted motivator. R5 then used the Force on 3PO, telling Luke to buy R2 instead. Owen did so, never knowing the great deed that R5 had just done.
>As the years went by R5-D4 began to feel resentment at his role in the Galactic Civil War and the refounding of the Jedi Order being overlooked and he eventually fell to the darkside and reemerged seeking revenge under his new title, Lord Snoke.
>>63546511
It was about the Jedi sitting on their asses while you scour the dangerous parts of planets for their lazy indigenous people on dumb fetch quests
ITT: Disney shills are mad because EU comics/novels will always be better than the garbage that Disney has released.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Pornography
>Beldorion had a formidable library of Huttese pornography, and once employed the holo faker Liegeus Vorn to retape and edit it.
>Huttese pornography
>>63538624
>Not buying based hemisphere droid for all your hemispherical needs.
I bet that's been in the line up for a while.
>>63544219
Jacen's story is one of the most interesting parts from start to finish except for the very end in a lot of ways but it has pats that are great
>>63542992
>TRIOCULUS was the impostor three eyed son of Sheev who stole Darth Vader's glove and outfitted it with technology to create the illusion that he had powers before he was assassinated via laser vision by a Life Model Robotic Decoy of Leia on their wedding day.
10/10 Sentence
![en1fe5tttbfxh0wnfh4c[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/xl9NHm2.jpg "en1fe5tttbfxh0wnfh4c[1].png")
>>63546692
>hemisphere droid
>not The Probinator
>>63544340
>capable of coming up with the idea of boarding operations
Except Star Wars begins with one, it's EU retardation to suggest they didn't think of it. There's clearly the equipment and means to carry them out though Star Destroyers would almost never have to think about attacking a capital ship of comparable size that they couldn't just tractor beam them.
Isn't there a dude in the EU that managed to fly a pterodactyl into space?
>>63546819
A guy fell through Onderon's moon atmosphere back to Onderon or something like that.
Those birds = drexxls = look like pteroactyls
>>63546615
Hi Karen.
Are you STILL mad about that?
>>63543456
I said KotoR I & II and Thrawn are THE shit, not shit.
>>63544256
You do know that it's all fictional, right?
>>63547071
Who is this semen demon?
>>63538359
>retarded stuff from Star Wars EU
The name "Sheev"
>>63546807
Hemisphere droid and the Probinator would have made the OT considerably better, trying to communicate through pregnant silences and sinister movements.
>>63547176
That's not even EU. That's from a novelization of the OT.
>>63547205
>novelization
>not EU
The Yuuzhan Vong are introduced to be the ultimate foil to the Jedi. When you have a protagonist that can choke you with his brain, make you do what he wants or just generally fuck your shit up without picking up a finger, how do you combat that?
The Vong are completely dead in the Force. They are not affected by it at all. Supposedly, because their Force Sensitive home planet burned it out of them following a protracted war.
One thing to keep in mind: Every thing that the Vong uses is living. Their armor? A species of crab that grows like a symbiote over their body. Their staff weapons? Actually snakes that go completely rigid, are IMMUNE to light sabers, and spit poison. Their cybernetic prosthesis? Actually living grafts from other organisms. Their ships? Living creatures. They even have giant lizard war mounts. All of these things are also immune to the Force. They can't be sensed, they can't be picked up, they can't be mind controlled. So apparently, their Force Sensitive planet also burned the force out of everything that they create, conquer or do.
>>63547176
>>63547205
It's from a novel that came out shortly after the disney buyout, so it slipped into the new canon
>>63547261
Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 18:42:44 No.62784140 Report
Quoted By: >>62784513 >>62786287 >>62796078
>>62784112
Only as we come to find out in the final confrontation, they aren't actually dead in the Force. They simply can't touch it anymore, the same way that non Force Sensitives can't touch it. An entire planet, billions of organisms, and galactic legions were all restricted from the Force simultaneously, but how? It is revealed that there is one guy who still has a connection to the Force: the Supreme Warlord's jester. The entire 4 years of the Vong war, this one guy has been cloaking every single living thing in the Vong's empire from the Jedi. This one guy has been shielding them from mind control, from being lifted or moved, from Force Lightning, from everything. This one guy has been able to hide every Vong, every ship, every mount, every weapon, every prosthetic, every crab armor, every everything, everywhere.
Essentially, the entire "foil" aspect of the Vong was all a lie perpetrated by the crazy jester of a Supreme Warlord that he was mind controlling.. Only after the jester's death, the Vong remain immune to the Force. Either because writers can't get their shit together, or because the jester's power carries on after death.
Also, Sheev Palpatine had foreseen the entire Yuuzhan Vong invasion prior to his takeover of the Galaxy. While still an apprentice to Darth Plaguies, Sheev had a vision of untold death and destruction of trillions of lives when the Yuuzhan Vong would pounce from beyond the rim of the galaxy onto an unsuspecting Republic. So his grand plan of an Galactic Empire was in fact a preemptive measure to raise a defense force against the Vong. He would have had Death Stars lined up at every entryway into the galaxy, waiting for the Vong to show themselves. All the evil that Sheev did was only to protect the galaxy - he's a hero.
So there you go, the Yuuzhan Vong in a crab-shell.
>>63539263
This b8 is TERRIBLE
>>63539152
>>63538834
>not liking the name
Come on, guys
>>63538605
Good things, for the most part
>>63538876
>implying he's bad
>>63547261
Isn't the final Vong twist just a direct lift from the Foundation series with the psychic jester being the final boss?
>>63540339
>black lightsaber
>Bad
pick one
>>63541076
>le nostalgia goggles meme
>>63542992
Stormtroopers look pretty chill
>>63547290
this is wrong. The original living homeplanet of the vong stripped the species so it cannot interact with force on a fundamental level
Through force and vong biology, Omini can influence and control his species, and can use their biological potential for his power.
It isn't the straight characterization this anon made it out to be.
>>63547290
Holy shit that is awful
>>63538698
M..muh eu was a joke. W..wasn't meant to be serious..
>>63547367
Dude are you just? Black lightsaber is so fucking retarded how black can be light?
The EU was a good friend
>>63547457
Lol, this guy doesn't understand the word parody
>>63545339
Yeah, if the blades were "real" it would stop, but the blades are made of light and light is weightless. But again, this shit's retarded anyways. Darth's Maul sword was pretty fuckin' sweet back in the day (at least seeing it on screen), so they're running out of ways to top themselves.
Most of it is terrible. I like the Darth Bane story, because it keeps all the things pretty simple and neat. Everything else is a bit too convoluted, going into 'le but another mysterious property of le force and le artifacts".
From all the convoluted shit in the EU, only thing I like is Kotor 2, because it did the contrarian hippie first and did it best. I mean, if you take away the rest of the Star Wars canon and just think of Kotor 2 as a singular thing, it's pretty decent. You've got meme characters like HK-47, who is a pretty simple, droid assassin that does whatever the fuck he's actually meant to.
You've got these light side dudes who behave like assholes and the dark side dudes who are also assholes. And you've got the neutral bitch who manipulates both into annihilating all of them. It only gets bad the moment Kreia mentions "le evil REAL Siths are waiting for you". Up till that point, if all the motivation kreia had, if it all had been just removing both Jedi and Siths and getting rid of the Force shit, it would have been very good.
Kotor 1 was 'lolamnesiabruh we edited your memories".
>>63538605
>>Hans black wife
Not actually his wife, though.
>>63539955
No, that's not it at all.
Valkorion actually found out he was a child of adultery, his mother had an affair with the ruling Sith Lord and when her husband found out he nearly killed her over it, but Valkorion killed him first. Then he killed his mother for being unfaithful to her husband.
>>63538359
>dumb as fuck
>ugly as fuck
>hated as fuck
>still had a micromachine made of it in the 90s.
>>63547757
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Han_Solo
"Sana solo"
It isn't legends, it is his wife and canon
>>63539636
>Siths as ancient race
What's wrong with that?
