What did they mean by this?
BITCH GOT FAT.
>Actually having the acknowledge the fairy tale comparison
Christians are so close to permanent btfo status
>>63433601
>Pure flix presents
This is a film
>>63433636
>nigger memes
>>/reddit/
>>63433601
>pureflix
>>63433601
I don't get it. Of course there are facts in the Bible. Just because there are some facts in the Bible doesn't mean everything in the Bible is a fact, does it?
>>63433636
>Christians
Protestant Americans aren't Christians.
The Vatican has patrician taste
>>63433601
Oh no, not Sabrina! They can't have Sabrina!
>>63433673
>>63433654
I work for PureFlix here in beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona.
AMA
>>63433682
Transubstantiation is retarded. Let Jesus down from the cross.
>>63433682
>Vatican
>Gives Tarkovsky money for Solaris
>Protestants
>support movies like God's Not Dead and Left Behind
What the fuck happened?
>>63433708
Why haven't you killed yourself yet?
>>63433663
This so hard
Why would they get a witch to play in a movie about god? Aren't they mortal enemies?
>>63433680
name one fact in the Bible
>>63433680
The story is that in the movie a students asks a theoretical question about Jesus and the teacher is like "Yeah, sure" and then the entire country hates her and she gets fired and her life destroyed because anti Christian conspiracy. Her quote is contextually her defending herself for using the bible after a student directly asked about it.
Movie version: Student instigates Jesus talk, teacher agrees but brushes it off and moves on with the lesson, life is destroyed by evil anti Christian people.
IRL equivalents: Teachers instigate forced Jesus praise in class and politely asked to stop and get on with the lesson by concerned parents.
It's the same blatant misrepresentation whereby they think "Your religion harping in class is irrelevant" is the same as an attack on their faith so they have to play down how Christians have acted in schools and ramp up how evil atheists are to arrogantly make a strawman argument. Because movies should be based on arguments and not... You know like themes or characters or something.
Leviticus says that the rabbit chews its cud, which is a falsehood.
>>63433680
>doesn't mean everything in the Bible is a fact, does it?
prove it.
>>63433708
how manychildsexual partners have you had?
>They are making another version of this fucking movie.
Is the 1st one worth watching? I am sure it's probably pure bad, but is it even good bad?
>>63433815
Sodomy feels good. How do you explain that?
>>63433601
>JUST BECAUSE CERTAIN FACT HAPPEN TO BE RECORDED IN SPIDER-MAN DOESN'T MEAN THEY STOP BEING FACTS
>implying anyone has ever even argued that
All Fundamentals christian do is straw-man. It's fucking dumb. And pureflix is fucking garbage.
>>63433601
what did superman mean by this?
>>63433673
I guess you could that Pureflix movies are Pure Shit?
>gets hit by a truck
>WOULDN'T WANT TO GO TO HELL NOW WOULD YOU??? REPENT NOW SINNER OR EVIL GOD WON'T SAVE YOU XDDD
Fuck this shit movie
>>63433601
melissa joan hart is a religious retard? holyshit!
>>63433601
>This is American Protestants top theological cinema
Aren't you guys fucking embarrassed?
>>63433845
>devil lets you have a happy, successful life
>god tortures you and makes your existence a constant struggle
This movie is more educational than I give it credit for.
>>63433833
No, its not even good bad. It's just bad.
>>63433663
You mad white boi?
>>63433798
permanently filtered for shit opinions and reddit tripfaggotry
>>63433833
It's literally the movie adaptation of that copypasta about the marine and the liberal professor
>>63433601
>The Bible
>facts
Haha what?
Post more MJH, she's the hottest.
>>63433783
"The sun rises and the sun sets"
>>63433916
I made this thread and save my best shitposts for anonymous posting. You can't filter me, jesusboy!
>>63433783
the jews killed Jesus
>>63433783
Jesus Wept
>>63433951
The Bible is literally the easiest thing to cite, and you can't even do that.
>>63433636
>Christians
These are Protestants and they are the dumbest.
>that superior Roman Catholic feel
>>63433601
Is that Clarissa?
>>63433815
Prove that there is one non-fact in the Bible?
>>63433798
The truth is probably somewhere between those two extremes retarded tripfaggot
>>63433916
BTFO protestant heathen detected
>>63433977
what a pussy
Has MJH shown her tits yet?
>>63434008
She needs to explain it all
>>63433978
You didn't ask me to do that, anon.
>>63433974
No they didn't.
>>63434040
This desu
No lord of mine is gonna be an emotional bitch boy
>>63433891
Yes, most American protestants are actually embarrassed by movies like these.
These movies aren't put out by normal American protestants. They are put out by fringe right wing fundamentalists as propaganda films. Most American protestants don't like them.
>>63433833
God awful but do watch anon
>>63433891
We're embarrassed by Protestants
>>63434058
I shouldn't have to. You used quotation marks. Were you actually quoting anything?
>>63434077
They're both equally stupid, though.
>>63434087
Bible rabbits were different.
Microevolution.
Learn your facts.
>>63433682
>>63434003
>no true christian fallacy
anyone who believes in christ is a christian, and all christians answer for the beliefs and actions of the others
>>63433866
>>63433601
Even the nostalgia christian hates these movies. They just suck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u_4EssUh4w
>>63433732
>Transubstantiation is retarded
Hi redit
>>63434077
There is literally nothing wrong with being right wing
>>63434161
This is true. The bible takes place in an alternate universe, like Man in the High Castle. In that world, rabbits do chew their cud. Also snakes talk, donkeys fly, and a man named Jesus lives up in the sky.
she got a donk
>>63434116
Yes, I quoted the Bible, thus demonstrating a fact in the Bible, which is what you asked for.
>>63434077
>>63434077
These films for the most part so fucking terrible from the scripts to the production values as well.
>>63434176
>this is a Christtards only rebuttal
You have to admit that it's shitty logic
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sxz-Y-c2UUc
>the ACLU are the bad guys
looooooooooooool
>>63434183
kek
>>63434206
But you didn't quote the Bible anon.
>>63434201
>old white fundie christian donk
No thanks
>>63434201
She has a great body and she's still adorable as fuck. Too bad she started waxing her arms. She had pretty hairy arms way back.
>>63434161
>Microevolution.
>>63434195
I don't remember a flying donkey. I remember a talking donkey.
>>63434233
Yes, I quoted the Bible. That's what the quotes mean.
>>63434003
as someone who has been Protestant Baptist since childhood. convince me why Roman Catholic is superior. you guys kinda lost any moral high ground and authority with that Indulgence P2W salvation shit
>>63434178
>Nostalgia Christian
What the fuck seriously? There's nothing wrong with doing reviews for these movies, but why do you have to rip off such a shitty bit?
>>63433601
God can speak for himself.
>>63434275
We don't make dogshit like God Isn't Dead, we don't jerk off about being "born again", you're a heretic
>>63434220
>that episode of "24" where a lawyer from "Amnesty Global" shows up to represent a suspect Jack Bauer just KNOWS is guilty of some terrorisms
>the lawyer is portrayed like a stuffy, pussy, y-y-you can't talk to my client like that, bureaucrat
>Jack's hunch is proven right on the money as soon as he gets a shot at torturing the guy by cutting off his thumb
>>63434186
Calm down /pol/lack. I said "fringe right wing fundamentalists", I didn't say normal right wingers. If you don't know the difference you have a mental disorder.
>>63434265
lol u rite
>Catholics have The Gospel According to St. Matthew
>Muslims have A Separation
>Mormons have Orgazmo
>Jews have Waltz with Bashir
>Evangelical Protestants has God Is Dead
Why is Evangelical Protestant cinema so pleb?
>>63434195
>rabbits do chew their cud.
could be some different species of rabbit at the time
>Also snakes talk
serpents talk. that's more supernatural than snakes.
>donkeys fly
lol this isn't even in the bible
>and a man named Jesus lives up in the sky.
it's never actually stated that Jesus resides in the atmosphere
>>63434161
>Microevolution
>>63434220
>We're at war
Holy fucking shit, are you serious?
>>63434267
But you said nothing outside of the quotes to indicate from where you found your source.
This isn't an academic paper, so I'm not exactly asking for an author or page number.Also what you quoted is not in the Bible.
>>63434186
>>63434320
but yes there is a lot wrong with being right wing
>>63434003
Catholics are idiotic but they are still direct inheritors of apostles authority.I still don't get why people follow jew gods kid
>>63434339
Because it's a meme religion
>>63434362
>But you said nothing outside of the quotes to indicate from where you found your source.
I don't need to. My post was in response to
>>63433783
>name one fact in the Bible
>what you quoted is not in the Bible
Yes, it is.
>>63434372
Ok kid
>>63434406
>Yes, it is.
Easiest thing in the world to prove, if it had any truth to it, which it does not.
>>63433815
if non of the stories are parables than God is unworthy.
>>63434435
>which it does not.
It does.
>>63434457
nuh uh
>>63434258
>>63434302
>We don't make dogshit like God Isn't Dead
I don't think GiD is a great film but it's something Christian in today's world at least. while Catholics don't make anything at all these days seems like.
>we don't jerk off about being "born again",
John 3:5-7 how is it jerking off when it's Jesus' word
>you're a heretic
that's not nice
>>63434339
>yfw not a Christian
>yfw some religions movies are made very well and have good storytelling
>yfw you can appreciate a good religious movie
>yfw Evangelical protestants movies are always dogshit
Maybe they should ask the other religions for help?
>>63434233
>>63434362
>>63434435
>>63434473
not that guy, but are you retarded?
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+1
>>63434421
So basically you proved that people who go to political rallies are ugly.
Solid argument.
>>63434372
Cool story. Don't care. Take your politics to /pol/ dude.
>>63434492
>>63434492
>tfw my head isn't between those thighs
:(
>>63434473
Here's some more attention for you, lil buddy.
>>63434077
>Most American protestants don't like them.
so why not organize and suppress the extreme the same way Catholics did with heresy. Im so sick of the "its a big group, real members don't approve"bullshit you hear with religion,animal protection,feminism,etc its just a way to escape accountability or loss of reputation
>>63434500
>while Catholics don't make anything at all these days seems like.
The Catholic Church is THE largest patron of the arts, charity organization, and educator in the entire world.
>>63434500
Because you got fucking baptised when you were a babby, you don't suddenly get OK getting it done again
>>63434512
It would seem I stand corrected. The quote is indeed from the bible.
>>63434526
classic cottage cheese ass
>>63434500
What is Calvary?
>>63434556
Prove it.
>>63434556
your head also accepts homosexuals
so yeah
>>63433663
Look at dis white cuk boy. Mad your mum craves my big nigga dick?
>>63434340
>>63434195
and god keeps winter in a storehouse
>>63434566
>Because you got fucking baptised when you were a babby
I was raised Baptist, none of us got baptised as a baby. You only do it once, when you choose to.
>>63434595
As an existence yes, Protestants still bury their head in the sand pretending it's not real while plenty of Televangelists bang fags and hookers all the time
>>63434616
>Happy clappers
Trash church
>>63434605
and god sits on the earth which stands on pillars and has four corners
>>63434526
Perfect ass right there. Who are the chicks with her?
>>63434589
Why? Every time some faggot on this site says prove it and the other guy gets sources after 20 mins, the original faggot just says some shit like "well thats bullshit anyway".
You prove me wrong if you don't believe me.
>>63434595
k
>He's a Christian
It's odd to see Christfags mock the krazy Mormon and Islam cults but fail to see that theirs is a blatant mockery of Judaism
Oy vey
>>63434566
>>63434616
this. you get baptized around your teens when you want to publicly and definitively show your faith.
also not everyone is a reformed porn star who waves that "born again" label in your face. most people just keep it in their hearts.
>>63434339
BASED Orgazmo! It's not a Mormon film though.
Protip: Mormons have a tons of films, but they only come out in Utah theaters, so no one ever notices. They have their own theater industry. A lot of them are shit, just as bad or worse than Protestant movies.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LDS_cinema
>>63434500
>that's not nice
its the truth. your off shoot has no more legitimacy that mormonism.
>>63434685
Xianity is mostly paganism mixed and piled on top of Jewish roots.
>>63434697
Holy shit is that movie like Dodge Ball but with Mormon family values put in it?
That's adorable.
>>63434694
They absolutely do wave it in my face when I go down to the beach for a surf and there's a pack of the cunts whooping and cheering they're getting their heads dunked in sea water by some un-ordained kuck
>>63434555
>so why not organize and suppress the extreme the same way Catholics did with heresy
I don't know. Ask Protestant Christians.
Nice trips btw
>>63434500
>while Catholics don't make anything at all these days seems like.
they have no need for movies. the poor are easy to convert so they run charities in 2ed-3ed world shit holes
>>63434061
Fuck off JIDF.
>>63434810
Hey man, there's absolutely nothing right about being Jewish, but they didn't kill Jesus.
>>63434589
I hate Catholics. They are dirty pedos.
But >>63434556 is probably right. At least the Catholics did that shit for most of the last thousand years or so. No other religion even comes close to BASED CATHOLIC CHARITY SHEKELS.
>>63433601
>April 1st
kek
>>63434685
Mormons get pretty far out though, like that the Garden of Eden is in America and American Indians are cursed Israelites
>>63434832
Do you post on /fit/?
>>63434710
>has no more legitimacy
religious organization that went back to the Word of God instead of made-up bullshit some bunch of politicos in Italy trying to get power and money
we're more "pure" objectively brah
>>63434638
we recognize it's a sin and should be avoided
televangelists are just salesman opportunists and NOT the heads of Protestantism. Catholic priests and clergy have a more notorious history of perversion and monetary exploitation.
>>63434744
maybe you wouldn't miss out on the fun if you weren't dunked in the water when you were an infant. that doesn't even make sense. most of the people baptized in the Bible were adults, even Jesus was baptized in his 30s
>>63434668
>Why?
Why make claims and then support them with evidence?
Typical Christian.
>>63433601
>>April fools dayy
They got me, fucking kek
>>63434832
>They are dirty pedos.
Hey if you're going to do something you might as well be the best at it
>>63434832
That's called selection bias. Just because Catholic-sponsored artifacts are the only thing that survived doesn't make Catholics the biggest sponsors of shit.
>>63434923
Um the Renaissance started in Italy, the center of the Catholic world in large part from funding which came from the church
i wonder what do the average protestants think about muslim in general
seeing how they will say not all protestants are bad etc, would they also accept the same premise for the muslim
>>63434737
>>63434697
That is how they brainwash Mormons to stay in the church and believe the bullshit. They set up everything in their culture to be about the religion and they limit normal American culture as much as possible.
Mormons can't even watch regular DVDs, they have to have edited versions that adhere to church teachings.
https://www.clearplay.com/t-about2.aspx
>>63434974
I know not all Muslims are bad, and I get along just fine with Muslims in the west, but as an atheist I'd rather live amongst Bible thumping protestants than a Muslim majority country
>>63434998
I used to work at a drug store with a Mormon girl, I had to explain to her what a condom was and she was like 16
>>63435010
exactly the same for me
>>63433636
kill yourself with that twitter bullshit
Why do christians have a persecution complex? They think having opposing religious beliefs or none at all is an attack on their beliefs
>>63434967
So? Do you know why it was called the Renaissance?
>>63435035
did you two use one?
>>63434998
>American Hustle
>All references to the Mafia taken out
What the fuck.
>>63435046
isn't it part of religion to indoctrinate as many as possible?
>>63434998
>watching Sopranos with that box would be just like that Mad TV sketch
>>63435060
I wasn't allowed, not Mormon enough
>>63435071
Oh wow, that would make American Hustle an unwatchably confusing mess.
>>63435056
Don't tell me you fell for the Christians caused the Dark Ages meme
She's a witch! Do not believe her blashemous lies! She speaks with a forked tongue. I have seen hsr cavorting with a talking black cat, clearly a familiar in communication with the farm lord Satan! Aye. By the laws of the holy church she must burned at the stake!
>>63435081
>he only fucks girls who give him permission
tips fedora
>>63434320
This. You can be civil and religious, or atheist and not a douche. I'm socialist libertarian, and my favorite president is Nixon.
I have been catholic, and was a Jehovah's Witness for like 2 years. I'm plain old agnostic now, and still believe the bible is a good thing overall to seek guidance from. Fuck these theological movies that preach one aspect, though. I was taught that actions speak louder than words, and being a good person and selfless in doing things for others is better than trying to one-up atheists. I find it funny that modern neo-conservitards don't take Jesus's teachings into account and instead just hate liberals above all else.
>>63435108
I was young back then, I'm now a patrician who only has non-consensual sex with feet
I'm not going to lie. Mormons may be a bit nutty, but they always seem so happy and have solid family lives.
I'd swallow the kool aid if I could.
>>63434923
Okay, point taken. However, it still makes CATHOLICS THE WINNER in the charity game!
Yeah, maybe Mohammedan Bin All-fleck Islam sponsored a bunch of shit too a thousand years ago. Maybe he sponsored more than Catholics. Too bad his culture and time REKED IT ALL! Not my fucking problem.
>>63434220
funniest trailer I've seen in a while tbqhwy famo
>that song at the end
>>63435146
>>63435146
They're eerily functional, it creeps me out, it all seems too perfect
>>63435112
I think you have neoconservative confused with paleoconservative.
Neoconservatives are the type of right wingers who are less likely to be Christian and more likely to be educated, the business owners and what not as opposed to the redneck paleoconservatives.
>>63435112
>>63434998
Didn't that company get sued for copyright infringement? Even though they may have done a 1:1 transfer, not even sure they did that, the studios argued they were not allowed to exit new versions of their content without permission of the copyright holder.
Plus... as a Christian... this is more offensive than any film. If you are a Christian and feel something in a film is too offensive for your Christian faith... then you must have really shitty weak faith in Christ our Lord.
>>63435146
I feel the same
it's like everyday is Sunday School for them and they never got jaded
>>63435181
It's like some alternative 1950's America
>>63435096
I don't think Christians were influential enough to have caused anything, whether it's the Dark Ages, the Renaissance, or the Enlightenment. I think most people have a pop-perception of "the arts".
Don't forget why Rome panders to Latin America.
Seriously, why do Muslims can have good movies like pic related while Evangelicals and Protestants only have meme flicks like God's Not Dead?
>>63435214
The women literally dress like Stepford wives too, I have never met one who wasn't obsessed with vintage fashion
>>63435222
oil money tbqh
>>63434998
Only Mormons bother with Clearplay, but the vast majority of Mormons don't use it and think it's too much trouble. Plenty of Mormons watch rated R movies and don't give a fuck. And no, the wonderful violence and depravity doesn't blow their tiny brains and realize what wonderful lives people have without religion, they just watch it and go to church the next day.
t. Ex-mormon
>>63434697
Napoleon Dynamite wasn't explicitly and religious film but it was made by Mormons and it was a huge hit with them. Go to any church activity for like 5 years after and you'd find someone try to hamfist one of those quotes into the conversation.
>>63435190
I think you are thinking of right wing libertarian Rand fags. Though oddly tons of them are still Bible thumpers even though Rand was a euphoric militant athiest and Christ really was not far right wing.
>>63435256
Explain to me the mysteries of the magic underwear
>>63435077
That was hilarious, man. MadTV was funnier than SNL until the former's final seasons.
One of my favorite recent sketches was the iRaq one, not subtle at all and I didn't care. Or when they made fun of Ashley Simpson and the kid called her songPieces of Shit.
>>63434832
Pedophilia rate is below society's average in the catholic church.
So hate non-catholics for being dirty pedos rather
>>63435263
Christ was a Jewish ultranationalist
Ok, I went to Catholic school for 13 years, but can a Nigga tell me the difference between a Protestant, Baptist, and Catholic?
>>63435198
>not standing up to degenerate things
you kuck christians are the worst
>>63435222
Othodox master race reporting in
>>63434175
>anyone who believes in christ is a christian
Well, I guess all muslims are also christians now
>>63435222
That's a Shia film. You can bet that if the Sunni garbage could do more than film executions they would put out shit like God's Not Dead.
>>63433861
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiit
>>63435275
Bailed out before I got to that point.
Mormons get really touchy about it though. I remember seeing my parents wear it occasionally, even when I planned on being in it for life I never looked forward to that day.
My old buddy probably wears it now actually, I oughta ask him what it's like.
>>63435322
> takings things in a film at face value and not evaluating the film as a whole with those things in context
Go ahead and remain an ignorant superficial person of weak faith.
Christ's light should get you through any darkness. For heaven's sake. It is only a movie. Make believe. If you can't deal with a movie, what happens if you face anything like that in real life?
>>63435321
Baptists are a type of Protestant.
Protestants are a reformation of Catholics.
>>63435275
that sounds ominous as fuck
or is it just a metaphor thing to keep people from fapping
>>63433682
>le Catholicism is so cool meme
>>63434586
a fucking amazing film
>>63435400
Protestant detected.
>>63434832
Gays shouldn't be allowed to be priests.
>>63435298
Priests can't be more than several thousands, and the world has billions of people. I would think letting priests marry or not be around children would be common sense. Dudes bang other dudes in jail, and not all of that is for dominance. Now imagine restricting yourself from poon for life, that would drive many people crazy.
Not defending protestants though, those people are catholic-lite. You might as well just wear a band that says you love jesus and not go to church at all.
>>63435378
who says you can't "deal with it" you don't have to be a sheltered crybaby. it's more about your duty to reduce sinful trash the world
>>63435214
>>63435207
Protip: Most of America is the same (for the most part) culture wise.....except Utah. Utah is very special, it is a theocracy run by the Mormons.
Some sections of Utah really are not what we would consider "American". Mormonism in Provo for instance is basically a cult. They filter the internet and all media, and try to isolate themselves from the outside world as much as possible. The Mormon church does it's best to make sure all citizens believe that everywhere is like Utah. The indoctrination and self-imposed isolation is borderline BEST KOREA levels. It is child abuse tbqh senpai. It is hard to watch.
>>63435198
>If you are a Christian and feel something in a film is too offensive for your Christian faith... then you must have really shitty weak faith in Christ our Lord.
>>63435455
>Utah is some sort of 60s idealized america time bubble
brb moving
>>63435455
That's insane. I wonder how long they can hold up the charade in the information age.
>>63435256
I remember going to Utah like 10 years ago. There were special video stores where you could rent "special Mormon" versions of movies. It was incredible funny and extremely sad.
>>63435400
Who's this semen demon?
>>63435418
Child molester detected.
>>63435446
fyiMOVIES ARE NOT REAL
>>63435550
>extremely sad.
I don't think removing jew degeneracy from films is sad. they should be applauded.
>>63435573
media dictates society my kuck friend
>>63435378
This guy speaks truth. Learning about science shook my faith a bit, but learning even more evolved it to something more.
The universe has laws that are a little too convenient to be random, and the conservation of energy implies the whole physical universe sprung from something (but where did that come from?).
Also, depriving people of knowledge makes them question more and leads them to fuck their lives up unnecessarily. A kid who gets told weed is bad and grows up to find it isn't so bad will think harder drugs can't also be bad. Or how abstinence teaching increases teenage pregnancies rather than stopping them. Faith means you believe despite evidence (or lack thereof).
>>63435455
Pluses and downsides of this, from a Utah anon:
The mormon girls that are down to fuck are totally unhinged. The lack of sex ed means they have to work that shit out somehow, they don't masturbate.
Downsides? No fucking sex ed. You literally have to explain what you're doing while you're doing it because she likely hasn't heard of it before.
>>63433783
I dunno but I would assume all that shit that's about the history of the Jews
If evolution is real why are herbivores such bitches? Why haven't they evolved to protect themselves better?
>>63435423
If the catholic church got rid of all the gay priests, there would be no priests.
A normal human being cannot remain celibate for life. Humans are supposed to have sex. Trying to be celibate fucks up your brain and turns you into a FUCKING DEGENERATE!
>>63435437
Abstinence doesn't lead to pedophilia though.
These priests were pedos to begin with. Problem is just that church put them around kids all day and discouraged psychological help to avoid problems.
>>63435673
>A normal human being cannot remain celibate for life. Humans are supposed to have sex. Trying to be celibate fucks up your brain and turns you into a FUCKING DEGENERATE!
This has long been disproved pham
>>63435670
Damn I never thought of it that way
good point
>>63435695
It's no different than any other profession, pedos that abuse outside the family tend to work with children as priests, school teachers, etc. It's no coincidence they choose careers that allow for them to do it
>>63435651
I doubt movies have in-depth universal expansion theories. we're mostly talking about run of the mill degeneracy.
though I agree on the knowledge part since I went through something similar
>>63434175
Yeah that's why they broke up into hundreds of different denominations, because they all believe the exact same shit.
>>63435758
And your solution?
You think pre-testing would work?
>>63435455
lmao, there are people who actually believe this.
Utah Mormons are super casual about the standards and are basically atrocious people in pretty much every sense. They dye their hair, get piercings, curse up a storm but you're not allowed to judge them because they're "good church members." Being a "good church member" in Utah is like telling a kid they're special: it's a mantra repeated so many times it's basically become a right for every person regardless of behavior. Utah has the highest porn subscription rate in America, and that's not just some fluke. They're super hypocritical on just about every issue. They never really bother fulfilling their church callings or doing community service or any of that.
Mormons outside of Utah dislike them and vice versa for a reason.
>>63435673
>I haven't had sex with a woman so it drove me to like little kids instead
>>63435547
Probably indefinitely. The Mormon church is extremely powerful there. They control all the lines of communication. They have control of the internet, tv, and radio. Do you think the Mormon citizens in 50's-ville Utah have even been told it is the "information age"?
It is very possible to lose track of the outside world in Utah, because lack of information available to you. 4chan is probably blocked in much of Utah.
>>63435310
Jesus is described as a hippy commie. Love your enemy, don't respond in violence, have no business in church, don't deny your fellow man shit cause he's a broke nigga, etc.
That shit was revolutionary back then, what do you think a philistine was used as a bad guy for in that one parable? Read the new testament, son.
The old testament reminds me of a kickass jew action chronicle that spans generations (with theology thrown in), while the new testament is a more personal memoirs-type deal that tries to teach you to be a better person (as seen through several people). Also, I recommend The Worthing Saga by Orson Scott Card if you want a scifi retelling of the bible. IIRC, it has a shitload of mormon theology. Not mormon so I only recognized what I knew from the bible.
>>63435835
Would probably mitigate it at least
>>63435927
>Love your enemy, don't respond in violence
Dude was all about fucking everyone's shit up you faggot don't make me break out the quotes.
>>63435886
>4chan is probably blocked in much of Utah.
Does that mean Mormons are redditors?
>>63434597
>Niggers saying "mum" and not "momma"
Shitpostralian detected
>>63435873
I've lived in Provo for Business Anon. It is like that. Salt Lake city is better, but not by much. You can't even go get a fucking drink in SLC without having to join a special "drinking club". And good luck trying to find any fucking caffeine.
>but porn
Yes, there any many Hippocrates. That isn't the fucking issue. The issue is that the church has so much control in the fucking first place. The fact that I can't even go to CNN.com without having to set up some vpn or beg some church elder to unblock it IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM!
>>63435964
You mean the celibacy? I honestly think that would make things worse. Ever did no fap?
>>63435991
Reddit is probably blocked too
>>63434339
You forgot Orthodox m8.
>>63436088
Just show them a bunch of kids in swimsuits, if they crack a fat they fail the test
>>63436144
Would you fail the test anons?
>>63433601
>no one points out that this "movie" is coming out
>APRIL 1ST
this movie is satire, right? this whole thing is literally surreal
Dearest lord in heaven, please stop the weekend warrior Christians from making movies about your glory, amen.
>>63436193
Hardly a kid. Women shouldn't be able to serve on a jury of ones peers.
>>63436271
Not a boy either, Priests tend to fug boys because they're more likely to have them around as altar boys or students
>>63435873
>they never do they church callings or community service
>implying all morons don't have to go on missions
U WUT M8?
>>63434518
So you admit it!
>>63435653
Tfw no Utah c-c-c gf
>>63435670
Probably my favorite one is
>If humans evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys around?
I have a christian father with a master's degree in aerospace science who legit asked me this and thought it was a good point.
>>63436322
Well?
>>63435873
You realize that all Mormons are monitored by the church, right? The central church keeps track of all its members and their activities. It monitors for anything "un mormon".
If you fuck up too much, they just kick you out or send you to live on a farm or some dumb shit.
>>63436198
The first movie desensitized everyone
>>63436322
>>63436365
Because humans didn't evolve from monkeys, they both evolved from a common ancestor
And the follow-up question is
>Why isn't the common ancestor still around?
I guess conditions changed too much and those that didn't evolve went extinct.
Of course, based Vatican accepts evolution so us Catholics don't have to jump through hoops about the whole thing.
>>63436365
>If I descended from grandma, why is my cousin alive?
That isn't even good bait son
>>63436432
What a ridiculous idea. Who monitors them? You think the Church assigns some random spook to watch every Church member? You'd have to have every person watching one other person. And how do they process that information? Can you imagine the massive amount of paperwork that would entail? And if they have all that information why don't they act on it? There are Mormons who watch porn and do drugs and cheat on their spouse and all kinds of terrible stuff. If nobody knows they go on with it until they either leave the church or repent. If they already know what everyone is doing why wouldn’t they act on that information? Literally the worst thing the church has ever done to a member is to revoke their membership, which is basically reserved for screeching leftist “Mormons” who say shit like “THE CHRUCH IS FULL OF SEXIST BIGOTED RACIST PATRIARCHAL OPRESSORS WHO HATE WOMYN DEATH TO THE PROPHET btw im a good Mormon gril who loves nehpi so pls don’t judge me k thx bby”. You have to try pretty hard to get kicked out of the Mormon Church. Basically any weakness or sin on your part is just going to be used by Church leaders as an excuse to evoke catharsis and draw you closer into the church. This idea that the Mormon Church monitors it’s members or is looking for an excuse to kick people out is believed solely by moronic conspiracy theorists.
>inb4 that one guy who always shows up and says “I was a Mormon for 60 years and was a part of all their secret rituals and remember how every Sunday night they sacrificed a virgin on an alter to Satan it’s all true I even wrote a book about it”
Who's watching this with me?
>>63436482
That's a shit analogy pham
>>63436862
>LOL
>minecraft
>atheshit
>no reddit tab open when screenshooting
Literally kill yourself you reddit piece of shit
>>63433601
>Just because certain lies happen to be recorded in the bible doesn't mean they stop being lies.
Fix'd. *tips fedora*
>>63433601
Do these people really think that they are Christian? Americans are like the least Christian nation one could imagine, the fact that these people honestly believe that they are "good" Christians is fucking hilarious
>>63437089
LOST. jdimsa
>>63437109
Asked myself that too. Doesn't America have the highest divorce rate of the planet in history?
>>63436734
Are you trolling son? http://www.slate.com/articles/life/faithbased/2012/11/lds_leadership_chart_how_the_mormon_hierarchy_is_organized.html
The Mormon church has a very strict hierarchy. The bottom level is broken into wards or branches. It is there job to monitor its members. Wards/Branches have any number of councilors who job is to monitor. If you fuck up it is recorded, noted, and discussed. If you fuck up enough you are ex-communicated. The moron church isn't a regular religion, it is more akin to a club. A club you have to pay to stay in and a club that collects information about you. A club that has very strict rules.
>how will they know if you fuck up?
Most pathways to moron vices are monitored and reported to the church. For instance, you can't drink in Utah without "joining a club". This means putting your name down. This information is collected by the bars and given to the church. If you went wild and got drunk last week, your councilor at the Ward will know and confront you. Fuck up too much and you're ex-communicated.
>>63436734
>I don't know about the Mormon massive surveillance apparatus
>>63437207
>slate.com
Your retarded 2bh family
