>Luke, wake up.
>Did I ever tell you about URoRRuR'R'R?
>A Tusken leader, URoRRuR'R'R was very adept at marksmanship and hunting, and also excellent in hand-to-hand combat with the traditional gaderffii. Unlike most Tuskens, he was not intimidated by machines and had no fear of approaching them. He acquired his hunting rifle, an important status symbol in Tusken culture, by scavenging it from the wreckage of a downed starship near Anchorhead. His group raided moisture farms for water and parts and roamed the Jundland Wastes, preying on unsuspecting travelers.
>there are people so fucking retarded they actually enjoy the EU
>He loved sand, like a good friend.
Luke met URoRRuR'R'R you idiot. This meme only works with prequel characters, not classic OT characters like URoRRuR'R'R.
>He raped your father's mother
>He was a cunny warrior, and a good friend
>Luke, if you were around URoRRuR'R'R, he would have told you about his good friend RR'uruurrr.
>RR'uruurrr was a hunter of the Sand People on Tatooine. He was a member of URoRRuR'R'R's hunting party in the Jundland Wastes. While in the village, he tended the banthas. They were his good friends.
>aye, and when your Da was just a wee whingey cunt of a Padawan, this Tuskan gobshite and his boys, kidnapped and ran a fucking train on your grandma!
>>63409516
Some of the books were genuinely well written.
>>63409595
>URoRRuR'R'R
>>63409595
>Blue Clausewitz
no thanks
>Luke, did I ever tell you about skinning knives?
>A skinning knife was a knife used to remove the pelt from a creature. The Trandoshan bounty hunter and slaver Bossk wasn't dexterous enough to handle a skinning knife, so he had a Wookiee skinning machine attached to the inner bulkhead of his ship, the Hound's Tooth. You could say skinning knives and he were anything but good friends.
>>63409516
It has good parts and terrible parts but they're both fun to read about for different reasons.
Disney saying it isn't canon doesn't really mean shit either way.
>>63409644
>You could say skinning knives and he were anything but good friends.
Why does it always make me laugh
>>63409609
I never even implied this was one of those moments.
>Luke, it's possible I never told you about cupcakes, so let me do that now.
>A cupcake was a dessert. When Melvin Fett accepted a bounty on Senator Jar Jar Binks he thought Tatooine was a dessert planet and expected to find a world filled with cupcakes and ice cream. Cupcakes are traditionally given to good friends.
>>63409681
Well, what are some?
>>63409697
Imagine an experiment where a child was raised in isolation and could only learn about the world through wookiepedia.
>>63409699
My top 3:
>Snelvin Fissss't and the Space Crabs
>The Adventures of Brakk McKrakk
>Hlk'aehkhg'jakk'lhejhajkjquh'kahnahs Excuse Me I Had Something Caught In My Throat
>Luke, give me a hand here, while I tell you about an old friend, my socket-wrench set.
>A socket-wrench set, was a kit of tools containing a socket-wrench and assorted sockets. The socket-wrench, more commonly referred to as a ratchet-wrench, was a type of wrench, or tightening tool, that used separate, removable sockets to fit many different sizes of fittings and fasteners, most commonly nuts and bolts. The socket-wrench included a ratcheting mechanism that allowed the nut to be tightened or loosened with a reciprocating motion, without requiring that the wrench be removed and refitted after each turn. Typically, a small lever behind the socket switches the wrench between tightening and loosening mode. The sockets were attached to the ratchet through a square fitting that contains a spring loaded ball detent mechanism to keep the sockets in place. The advantage of the socket-wrench system was speed - it was much faster than a conventional wrench, especially in repetitive bolt-on or bolt-off usage.
>A breaker bar was often included in a socket-wrench set. A breaker bar was a long non-ratcheting bar that was used with socket-wrench style sockets. Breaker bars were used to 'break loose' very tight fasteners because their additional length allowed the same amount of force to generate significantly more torque than a standard length socket-wrench. The use of a breaker bar also prevented damage to the ratcheting mechanism of a socket-wrench. If you knew how to use one, I could see you being good friends.
>>63409699
I liked the Zahn's works.
Dark Empire was pretty cool in my opinionBut then again Lucas liked it too, which could speak volumes against it. also isn't sad I have to say imo or people will think I'm trying to present it as facts
The novelization of Episode 3 was better than the movie.
And Book of the Sith was really top tier work.
>>63409740
underrated post
>>63409801
>I have to say imo or people will think I'm trying to present it as facts
Doesn't make it less false though. Zahn's a hack.
>Luuke
>Luke did I ever tell you about friend-or-foe identifiers?
>A friend-or-foe identifier, sometimes known as a "friend-or-foe" identifier, was a piece of technology used by the Trade Federation. The identifier carried information on the identity and socio-political status of the supposed holder, that could be easily accessed by the battle droids composing the Trade Federation Droid Army, even if the identifier was not readily visible.
>The battle droids were programmed to not actively attack any individual wearing a friend-or-foe identifier, not even if that person was hampering the efforts of the droids or directly attacking the droids. They could only ask the wearer to move or, in the later case, ask a superior entity (Such as a Lucrehulk-class Droid Control Ship) for confirmation.
>The identifier did not carry information about the wearer's mission. As such, if the droid's mission was calculated as more important than the wearer's general activity, the droids might decide to not actively protect the person — although they would still not fire at the wearer.
>Trade officer Gode Takrab had hidden his friend-or-foe identifier in his cowl and had two spare identifiers in a secret compartment of his shuttle. He was good friends for those droids.
>>63409740
>>63409863
>A friend-or-foe identifier, sometimes known as a "friend-or-foe" identifier
This is some next level peotry right here
>>63409854
Ehh I didn't really mind the cloning thing. I thought it was a nice way to make use of the whole "well the Empire does have cloning facilities" thing.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Teebo's fish friend?
>Teebo's fish friend was a sentient talking fish native to the Forest Moon of Endor. The fish took a home in a lake on the forest moon sometime before or during the Rebellion era, and had an encounter with King Elbo at one point, perhaps even going to the king's Coral Castle at the bottom of the sea. He passed this information to three Ewoks— Wicket, Teebo, and Kneesaa— after their friend, Latara would be kidnapped by the king.
>The fish created a sea bubble for the three Ewoks to travel in, as Ewoks could not travel to the bottom of the sea without air. The Ewoks were hesitant at first, displeased with the simpleness of the bubble, but after Wicket stepped into the bubble, the other two followed and they eventually traveled to Coral Castle. Later, they rescued Latara from Elbo after negotiating with him. If you knew Teebo too, he would have been a good friend.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts?
>Breasts are the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and are normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males do have breasts, but they are far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism.
>In some cultures, sentient females nurse their own young. This is true of both advanced and primitive planetary societies like Dathomir, where the warrior-women of the Singing Mountain Clan feed their children even during solemn councils of war,.
>I wouldn't mind sucking on them good friends.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about foodstuffs?
>Foodstuffs were the raw material of food. Organic creatures needed food to sustains themselves, and endothermic beings used the energy in their food to keep their body temperature constant. Groceries were basic foodstuffs and commodities on Cerea that could be carried in a grocery bag.
>You could say grocery bags are close friends of duffel bags. Duffel bags could be used to carry personal belongings.
>Stormtrooper recruit Davin Felth originally arrived at the Imperial Academy of Carida for basic training carrying a blue duffel bag. The groceries inside were yummy friends.
>Luke, can you read that good friend award up there? It's for what used to be known as a spoon.
>A spoon was a utensil that could be used by sapient beings to consume food. It also served the purpose of stirring a drink. General Kenobi was known to have used a spoon to stir his tarine tea while he talked with General Whorm Loathsom during the Battle of Christophsis. Twenty-two years later, Owen and Beru Lars had a meal where spoons were used to eat with. Me and my spoon were good friends.
URoRRuR'R'R?
You know you guys can shit on it all you want.
It is 100% true that the movies did a horrible job explaining it.
However it's also true that Obi-wan and Anakin were supposed to be bestfriends and see each other as brothers. Yeah it ended badly, but that doesn't take away from the fact that they were bestfriends.
So Obi-wan's line of "he was a good friend was totally appropriate"
>This thread
>>63410339
Good friends don't let good friends kill younglings.
>>63409462
>implying he wasn't a good friend
>>63410382
If Anakin gave up and surrendered you know Obi-wan would have forgiven him and made sure no one ever found out about that.
>>63409740
Kek
>>63409644
Obi-Wan, you sound like Groucho Marx
>>63410403
Like noone ever found out about all those good friends before Anakin?
>>63410464
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiAi7sCcd44
>>63410469
???
>>63409740
Jesus Christ, let's take it a step further and convince the kid that he's a political prisoner of the Empire, with his only human interaction being with a man dressed like a Stormtrooper.then you tell him he's being released once he turns 18 and send him out into the world babbling about all this insane Star Wars shit like it's real life
>>63409863
>A friend-or-foe identifier, sometimes known as a "friend-or-foe" identifier
This is why I never moved beyond KOTOR or Jedi Knight in regards to the EU.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Watto? He was a sort of jewish floating dinosaur who owned your father and grandmother. He was a bad friend. He ended up selling your grandmother to a farmer who married her, which is weird. Years later, when Watto developed a 5'oclock shadow and took to wearing a small metal hat, she was kidnapped by tusken raiders and spent her remaining days tied up in a smelly tent, probably being raped. Watto gave your father information that helped him find her - he was a good friend after all.
>>63409462
>Luke
>Did I ever tell you about the time I made a kid cry by telling him Star Wars is shit and he shouldn't bother wasting his time on it?
>Luke, did I ever tell you about your father's apprentice, Ahsoka Tano? She was a hot piece of alien jailbait ass that he had countless adventures with, often alone together with her for long periods of time. However, your father amazingly managed to never so much as make a pass at her because he was so madly in love with his wife that he illegally married and rarely interacted with. She was a good friend.
>>63409745
Kek
underrated post
>>63409462
>>Luke, wake up.
That cracks me up. Now I'm imagining Obi-Wan waking Luke up several times every night just to tell him about obscure EU characters.
>>63413438
>Obi-Wan's force ghost comes every night at a random time and spends 5 minutes explaining the backstory of some random asshole or piece of equipment or other useless shit
>this happens every single night until Luke dies
>>63409581
>Skywalker, ye wee muggy cunt.
>>63413651
Fucking kek
>Luke, did I ever tell you about jizz?
>Jizz was an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band. Subgenres of jizz included the styles of jizz-wail, aubade, and glitz. Also, jatz was slightly similar to jizz.
>He was a good friend
>>63413651
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Chair?
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chair
>>63413651
>Luke kills himself just so he can become a force ghost and kick Obi-Wan's ass
>>63413815
Holy shit this thread is wreckin my fucking sides
>luke, long time have you been preparing to face Vader and Palpatine, yes?
>the only hope for us, you are
>but not going to mention that Palpatine can shoot FUCKING LIGHTNING OUT OF HIS HANDS THAT WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP SO FUCKING HARD, am I.
>Luke,
>sperm is a biological substance involved in the reproduction of certain species, during which is often paired with ova. In several species, sperm is produced by males and inserted into females. For instance, male sarlaccs attach to females as parasites and feed their sperm into their mates. Females of the ghest species of the planet Rodia can even access the sperm of a dead male and self-inseminate, leading to the laying of fertilized eggs. Among the gra species, genetic engineering by sentient beings was so extensive that gra sperm and ova were sold with instruction manuals.
>In other species, same individuals can produce both sperm and eggs. For instance, the silicon-based shadow barnacle of the planet Coruscant released both egg seeds and sperm pollen into the atmosphere to reproduce.
>Good luck with Leia, Obi-Wan out.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about sexes
>Most beings in the galaxy belonged to one of two sexes, male or female. However, some species, such as the Hutts, could adopt the sexual characteristics of either sex, and were classified as hermaphrodites. Other variable species, like the X'Ting, changed sexes periodically based on hormonal cycles. Some alien species had more than two sexes, such as the insectoid Xi'Dec, which had over 180. Finally, some species, like the Filordi, were asexual, with individuals being able to reproduce on their own. The Fnessian race had a previously undocumented sex called Thos. The Rakririans also had a third sex, known as facilitator drones. They were cunning facilitator drones and good friends...
>>63409462
HEY THIS IS URGENT
PLEASE CAN AN ANON VOCAROO THE NAME
I NEED PRONUNCIATION HELP
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuke, or Luuuke for that matter
Annie was a good friend.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about brassieres?
>A brassiere, or bra, was a piece of underwear generally worn by females, designed to support the breasts.
>Yarna d'al' Gargan was once recruited as a model for extravagant jeweled brassieres. However, Princess Leia cannot wear one, because George Lucas said there are no bras in space. He was a good friend.
>>63414353
>people thought he said "and he was a good friend"
>he actually said "annie was a good friend"
BRAVO LUCAS! BRAVO!
>>63413651
>Luke, did I you ever tell you the tale of Jedi Master Ima-Gun Di?
>He was a cunning warrior and a good friend that lost his life during the Clone Wars.
>Your father hated sand.
>So I left you on the sandiest planet in the galaxy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7RNSecaI_4
Which one of you did this?
>Luke did I ever tell you about Blob Racing?
>A blob race was a bizarre contest of speed between protoplasmic, gelatinous Umgullian blobs through a course of obstacles—from fine mesh screens to a bed of nails. It was a major betting sport in Umgul City on the planet Umgul. The syrupy masses, usually grayish green but laced with bright hues, rolled, slithered, and oozed their way through. Cheating on the races was punishable by death. Blobs are good friends.
>>63413651
Imagine an open ended star wars game like that, fallout\skyrim style.
Every time you go to sleep, you are woke up by the ghost of obi wan explaining you meaningless minutia about the world.
Ben, tell me about ducks.
>>63414548
No
No i refuse to belive this is real
>>63414189
>>They were cunning facilitator drones and good friends...
cunning facilitator drones rotfl
>>63414641
Would work well as a loading screen to be honest.
Just Obi ghost, explaining things.
>>63414641
I mean most games make you wait at least a few seconds while sleeping so having him take like 30-60 seconds to explain random lore would be cool. (As long as you could turn it off)
>>63414681
No matter what he explaining, however trivial, he must find a way to say if it was either a good or bad friend.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Bigger Luke?
>>He is a slightly taller and larger version of yourself created in mysterious circumstances who occasionally substitutes you as a good friend. He was a cunning Luke and a big friend
>>biggerluke.wikidot.com/
>Luke, did I ever tell you I'm actually your uncle?
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Owen_%28Kenobi%29
>I'm a good friend.
>>63409581
Kek
>>63414728
That's a big Luke
>>63414728
We've hit the point where I can't tell if this is satire or not.
http://biggerluke.wikidot.com/
>Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts?
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
>Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species and some reptomammals, and were normally a distinguishing feature of the female of the species. Males did have breasts, but they were far less developed than their female counterparts due to the sexual dimorphism.
>>63413764
dafuq
>This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age... That's a funny story actually, did I tell you Luke it was me who brought an end to the civilized age? I was so adamant on teaching my padawan because my dead friend told me so that I ignored my better judgement. I threatened my student with expeling from the Jedi Order for some dumb shit but I didn't do it when he commited crimes against humanity such as slaughtering a whole village of sand people. I mean he had personal grievances with some of them but targeted a whole village of them solely on basis of their ethnicity. It was an act of genocide, basically. But I gave him a second chance. Then he broke the Geneva convention by executing an elderly political idealist begging for mercy (who was our prisoner of war at the time) because a corrupt politician told him so. How he did it? By gruesomly beheading him with two lightsabres of course... truly elegant weapon for a more civilized age... Where were I? Of course, that was a high time for, if not a martial court, at least for expeling a good friend from the order. But I chose to do nothing instead so the good friend and said corupt politician staged a coup, organised a stalinist purge of the jedi order, murdered defenceless toddlers and brought an end to the republic, democracy and a more civilized age. This all happened because I chose to 'mentor' him into a maniac babbling about his 'galactic empire' despite my better judgement and advice of a trully great jedi master, whom I basically guilted with a death of my own master. Truly splendid job! I fucked up so badly that I had to go into hiding. I didn't feel like changing my jedi robes though, they are really comfy, so I chose planet to match my outfit. They are good clothes.
>>63414560
>>63409920
luke, did i ever tell you about the time i fucked up my hand? help me bend my fingers straight
Why the fuck didn't Obi-Wan and Yoda train Luke or Leia to be the ultimate ass kicker? Why'd they wait til he was like 19 to teach him anything? They just sat back on their old asses and accepted that the sith had taken over. If Luke really was the last hope you'd think they'd utilize him a little better.
>>63414567
lelmao
>>63414295
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hRnrBjFubA
>>63414567
>recommended:
> Are You A Good Friend? (Personality Test) by IQ Tests | Personality Tests | Funny Test Videos 129,187 views
>>63415425
based anon
Not sure what's going on itt but I think I like it.
>>63414548
>His parents were bad friends.
>>63415653
>Not sure what's going on itt but I think I like it.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Confusion
>>63409801
>The novelization of Episode 3 was better than the movie.
Friendly reminder that this piece of dialogue is in that book:
Nute Gunray: "No! Lord Sidous promised us peace!"
Anakin Skywalker: "There was a glitch in the transmission. What he actually said was: you'd be left in pieces."
>>63410604
>I want to be a repulsorlift engineer when I grow up!
>>63415167
Yeah Obi-Wan taking on a padawan worked out really well the first time
>>63409740
damn anon
Luke, did I ever tell you about your father's outer rim?
Luke, did you know you can block force lightning with your light saber? No? Never mind, forget it.
Luke, did O ever tell you about Evar Orbus and his galactic jizz wailers?
They were a jizz band founded by Evar Orbus, featuring Max Rebo, Sy Snootles, Droopy McCool, and Orbus himself. Their hits included "(That Joyous Night) I Ate My Mate".
And they were good friends
God this board is beyond saving
>>63414567
hahahaha
>Luke, did I ever tell you about boats?
>While many in the galaxy required the need to travel between the stars, those constantly living in one place on their home planets required less sophisticated varieties of transport. For use across the water masses, many cultures on various worlds employed simple boats - primitive wooden handmade watercraft.
>The boats of Somov Rit varied in size, but seemed to follow similar, simple designs. The people of Somov Rit used longpoles to push the boats through the marshy waters. The elder Governor Quarg of Drexel exiled a number of technos on the boat to be left adrift, thinking they would perish at the sea; instead, they became the first Dragon Lords. On Naboo, both Gungans and the Human colonists developed a variety of sophisticated aquatic vehicles. Nevertheless, simple fishing rigs were still used by the fishermen, such as ones in the Solleu River in Theed. Simple wind-blown boats and canoes were also used by people of Cerea, as well as Ewoks.
>The fishermen of the Rebel Alliance safe world colony Sanctuary used steam-driven wooden seafaring vessels to catch fish in the planet's deep oceans.
>Luke, listen closely before this next fight, did I ever tell you about potato wedges?
>Potato wedges were a type of food served as a lunch side at Dex's Diner in the CoCo Town District on Coruscant. It was priced at 3.5 credits. They were a good deal.
>>63414780
Apparently it's been around since the late 90's.
>>63415167
Luke is nearly the spawn of Satan, why would they ever think training him would turn out well?
>>63409462
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Combat Umbrellas?
>The Combat Umbrella was a device used by specialized clone commandos during the Clone Wars, including the members of H.O.P.E. Squad. It was used to slow descent when making high orbit precision entries such as attacking a repulsor platform. Look here, at this illustration, the Combat Umbrella in action. They were good designs.
>>63414728
>The appearance of Bigger Luke in a particular scene is generally, but not always, judged relative to the height of Han Solo, and as such Han is the primary go-to frame of reference amongst Bigger Luke Theorists. Because of this, "No Han Pics"(commonly abbreviated to NHP) are generally discouraged, as it is very difficult to determine Luke's height without Han Solo as a constant frame of reference.
Why isn't there a 'smaller Han' theory?
ITS OVER URoRRuR'R'R, I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND
>>63416940
>In fact, Mustard was an edible item that was served in Dex's Diner as a side order with any sliders, before its destruction in 19 BBY. Varieties included Bimm mustard and Boontaspiced mustard.
>Sliders were one of the specialties available at Dex's Diner. Like the rest of the food served there it was greasy and unhealthy, but also cheap and filling. Sliders were small and square, most were served with Mongo Beefhead patties on trans-shipped medium-density food-boards, although some replaced the patty with another base like firaxan shark fillet which was used in the Manaan slider. When Dexter Jettster ran the diner, he rejected elaborated preparations, and merely grilled the food-board and perforated it with five holes. Sliders were popular among the Diner's customers, and regulars would even travel light-years back to Coruscant to satisfy their cravings for them. To avoid gastrointestinal distress, patrons would often furtively take a mild antidote before eating the tasty food. Sliders were garnished with Dexter's so-called special sauce, and some visitors accused him of adding small quantities of addictive drugs to the condiment.
>The word "slider" was also part of the name of the Power Sliders diner in Pons Ora on Abafar, even though sliders were not on the menu.
>They were the best in the galaxy.
>Luke, I know this must all seem very strange to you, but did I ever tell you about the Wampa stuffed animal?
>The Wampa stuffed animal was a house object that offered denizens the chance to enjoy all the soft and cuddly aspects of the wampa without the inherent dangers of being taken back to one of the beast's lairs and eaten for dinner. When its stomach was poked, the animal would emit a distinctive "roar." They were good gifts.
>>63413764
>They were sometimes made of wood.
you can't make this shit up
YOU TELL ME
THAT WE
WUZ
JEDIS AND SHIEEET?
>>63417447
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Han Solo's apartment?
>The Solos' apartment served as the Coruscant residence of Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo shortly after their wedding in 8 ABY. It was situated in a building across from Sasal Center, Wauth Complex, and Ooe'b Towers. A door connected it to Chewbacca's quarters. A burglar broke into it in 8 ABY while the Solos were at Imperial Palace preparing for a state dinner.
>The Solos later moved into Imperial Palace, where they were good guests.
>>63417475
What the hell are you talking about, Ben? You don't need to tell me, I've been there.
>Luke, have you heard of pants?
>Pants were clothes that humanoids wore over their lower bodies. Some sentient species such as Ewoks and Wookiees did not wear pants, but most male Humans did.
>In some cases pants were culturally significant, as in the case of Corellian Bloodstripes, which were worn as a length of broken cloth piping down the outer seams of the recipient's pants.
>Ubese trackers such as Boushh were known to wear Shata leather pants, and Princess Leia Organa wore a pair of these when impersonating the bounty hunter. They were a good fit.
>>63410244
underrated desu
>>63417600
>Luke... Luke are you listening? Wake up I must also tell you about kilts.
>A kilt was a piece of fabric worn around the waist, typically knee-length, that acted as a covering for the genitals and lower extremities.
>Kilts were the best covering for the genitals in the galaxy, and a cunning covering for lower extremeties... And they were a good piece of fabric.
>>63417078
that would be extremely controversial
>>63417519
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Memory Rub?
>Memory rubbing was a Force technique that allowed an individual to use the Force to alter or erase both the memories and/or learned skills of another.
>Jacen Solo learned this technique from the Fallanassi during his five-year journey of Force exploration after the Yuuzhan Vong War. He used it twice on Ben Skywalker, once to distort Ben's knowledge of his and Tenel Ka's newborn child, Allana, and a second to distort Ben's knowing of the truth that Brisha Syo was Dark Lady of the Sith Lumiya.
I don't get this meme.
Did it seem that unusual to you people that Obi-Wan told Luke about his father?
>>63417808
>Luke, did I ever tell you about anon?
>Anon was an autistic poster on 4chan, an online image board. He misinterpreted my speeches such as this one to be mocking my tendency to speak of the past.
>In fact, these very speeches exist simply to point out the weirder and nonsensical elements of the prequels and expanded universe, showing their incongruity in the context of the original trilogy.
>He was a good, albeit confused friend.
>>63417979
Yeah I get that but it doesn't make much sense. You're trying too hard.
Everything Obi-Wan said to Luke made sense.
>>63418001
Anon, I think you may actually be autistic.
>>63418094
Okay. Keep going then and pretend that him telling Luke about how Anakin was a good friend is somehow funny, weird or nonsensical.
>>63418105
Thats not the part being made fun of, hence my diagnosis of autism. Its not even very hard to understand.
>>63409462
>Luke, wake up
Fucking kekd imaging ghost obi wan randomly waking up luke to tell him stories.
>>63418138
Yes you are making fun of Obi-Wan annoying Luke with useless trivia or information
But that never happened
>>63413438
I honestly think that would be awesome.
I wish I could hang out with ghost Obi-wan and learn about good friends.
>>63413438
Imagine Obi just popping out with this bullshit in the most awkward, embarassing moments.
Like during Luke's colonoscopy for example.
>>63418180
No you autistic retard, its just presenting absurdities of the prequels and eu in the context of the original trilogy. Obi-Wan is just a vehicle for this.
I sincerely hope I'm being rused, otherwise you may legitimately be on the spectrum. Also, there are 69 separate posters in this thread, you seem to be under the impression that this thread was made by one person?
>>63418254
>Luke did I ever tell you about anal prolapse? It was a good friend.
i fucking love these threads, wookiepedia/EU shit will never not be funny
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Duck
>Ducks were a type of waterfowl that could be found on several different planets throughout the galaxy, notably Naboo
T O P B U R
O
P
B
U
R
>>63418291
>tfw toilets are non-canon
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Toilet
Do you think ghost Obi-Wan ever watched Luke take a shit?
>>63418264
Okay fair enough, though a few of these in here don't seem to do that
These two for example are just silly jokes, nothing absurdity/wookieepedia related. Anyway, I concede, I see what you mean now
>>63409697
>>63409973
>>63418375
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cupcake
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
>>63418375
>thou hast begotten me
>therefore i shall concede
You kiss your mother with that mouth boi?
>>63418375
>nothing wookiepedia related
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cupcake
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast
>>63418180
it started as a way of making fun of how the prequel trilogy made previously normal obi wan speech into something completely ridiculous, then it evolved into its own thing after fusing with the making fun of the star wars fan wikipedia meme.
is this clear now?
>>63410746
>Luke did I ever tell you about how the sandpeople gang raped your grandmother in single file as to hide their numbers? They were good friends
>Luke, did you ever hear the tale of Chewbacca's only son, Lumpawaroo?
>Lumpawaroo, also known as Waroo, was a Wookiee male who emerged from the shadow of his famous father Chewbacca to become a brave, talented, and powerful warrior within the Rwookrrorro community on the planet Kashyyyk. Born Lumpawarrump in 1 BBY and known as Lumpy throughout his youth, he was raised by his mother Mallatobuck and his grandfather Attichitcuk while Chewbacca served a life debt to and traveled the galaxy with the Human smuggler Han Solo
>>63418291
>As my good old friend Captain Quarsh Panaka once said about ducks:
>"If we can't get the shield generator fixed, we'll be sitting ducks."
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Chihuahua?
>The Chihuahua was a chihuahua dog fighting the dark side around the time of the Battle of Naboo to free the tacos.
>He tirelessly devoted his life to the pursuit of tacos. This dedication has allowed him to heighten his natural skills of navigation, negotiation and general deviousness. He put his considerable talents to work fighting the ultimate evil in the universe. Because, he rationalized, when the universe is free, the tacos are free. During that time, he was working on the Jedi mind trick.
>He was a good friend
>Luke Skywalker was cloned and the clones were named "Luuke" and "Luuuke"
>Speeder broke down in the middle of nowhere
>Next town is like a parsec away
>Finally get there, enter the only bar in town to make a holo call for assistance
>Bartender charges hundred Wupiupi a minute
>Realise i don't have my wallet
>Force fucking damn
>Left my lighsaber on, it just burned a hole in my robes
>Whole month worth of credits scattered all over the floor, people start fighting over it
>Someone alarmed an imperial patrol, a dozen stormtroopers pour in
>Bartender yells at me to get the fuck out
>Some guy wanted in twelve systems yells at me to stay the fuck in
>LUKE DID I EVER TELL YOU
>>63418555
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Colonel Sanders?
>Colonel Harland Sanders was a spectacle-wearing Human male who was born around 97 BBY. A known lightsaber-wielder and likely Force-sensitive, Sanders was known as a strong and determined individual and a fierce opponent of the dark side.
>Sanders founded KFC, an establishment which apparently served buckets of chicken prepared under a special recipe, which rose in popularity over a number of years. Sanders later served in the Battle of Naboo alongside Pizza Hut Girl and the Chihuahua.
>Luke wake up.
>Not sure if I ever told you about Sonic the Hedgehog so here goes
>Sonic the Hedgehog (ソニック・ザ・ヘッジホッグ Sonikku za Hejjihoggu?, born June 23) is the title character and main protagonist of the Sonic the Hedgehog series and Sega's mascot. He is a fifteen-year-old anthropomorphic hedgehog gifted with the ability to run at the speed of sound and beyond, hence his name, and possesses lightning fast reflexes to match. As his species implies, Sonic can also roll up into a concussive ball, primarily to attack enemies.
>Ever since stepping into the battle against injustice, Sonic has been the champion of peace and is renowned the world over for saving it countless times. During his many adventures, Sonic has traveled from the ends of the world to the far reaches of space and time, while facing countless trials that have tested him to the fullest, earning him many titles, allies and the scorns of several foes. Well-known for his legendary cocky attitude, easy-going demeanor and somewhat short temper, yet strong sense of justice, compassion, and love for freedom and adventure, Sonic uses his abilities to protect the innocent from his world and those beyond from the forces of evil, especially his arch-nemesis Dr. Eggman, who constantly seeks world domination.
>Sonic's interests include:
>Running
>His good friends
>Making new good friends
>Adventures
>Stopping Eggman (a bad friend)
>Break-dancing
>Rock music
>Relaxing
>Being a hero (an especially good friend)
>Challenges
>Racing
>Saving the world
>Showing off
>Proving he is the fastest
>Speed
>Spending time with his good friends
>McDonalds
>Happy Meal Premiums
>Having time for himself
>Joking around with his enemies (the worst kind of friends)
>Peace and serenity
>Natural scenery
>His Werehog abilities
Luke are you getting all this?
>Luke, wake up
>Luke, did I ever tell you about beds?
>A bed was a piece of furniture designed to sleep on and perhaps dream. Beds were a common fixture in many households and living quarters in the Galactic Republic and the Galactic Empire. Specific types in included the bunk, often found in military settings, and the featherbed. I guess if you're sleeping, you're in one right now. He was a good bed.
>>63418180
>>63417428
And there's 20 articles on different types of wood
>>63418590
>>63413764
>Luke, wake up
>Did I ever tell you about The Most Comfortable Chair Ever Designed?
>The most comfortable chair ever designed, or that had yet been designed as of the Trioculus affair in 5 ABY, was described as a sort of gigantic floating pillow. Han Solo, a good friend, owned one such chair, and it featured prominently among the furnishings of his sky house.
>A type of large pillow, this chair was, as of 5 ABY, the most comfortable one that had ever been designed. It floated, and was capable of rocking in a gentle motion that Leia Organa (a VERY good friend) found relaxing.
>Every page of this book is written in this style
>Even the table of contents
>>63413764
That ain't shit.
>Luke? Did I ever tell you about the most comfortable chair that had ever been designed?
>The most comfortable chair ever designed, or that had yet been designed as of the Trioculus affair in 5 ABY, was described as a sort of gigantic floating pillow. Han Solo owned one such chair, and it featured prominently among the furnishings of his sky house. A type of large pillow, this chair was, as of 5 ABY, the most comfortable one that had ever been designed. It floated, and was capable of rocking in a gentle motion that Leia Organa found relaxing. Han Solo owned one example of this type of chair, and used it as the centerpiece of the furnishings in the main room of his sky house on Bespin. The chair was reserved for Leia Organa as the guest of honor at Solo's housewarming party around the time of the Trioculus affair in 5 ABY.
>It was for good friends.
>Luke
>Luke, wake up
>Are you awake yet?
>Listen, this is important
>I forgot to tell you about tax stamps?
>A tax stamp was a type of stamp, presumably for the recording of taxes in some fashion. Barrels of ebla beer were among objects that were required to have this type of stamp, by order of the Galactic Empire. Nazhros Oleg once questioned a Lothal citizen as part of a security sweep, who reported that he had observed barrels of ebla beer being brought into a nearby bar at night that didn't have tax stamps
>Now sleep Luke, you need to rest
>>63418808
>It's a space audio-video book that plays loud clips of Obi instead of text
>Every time Luke tries to turn it off digital Obi interrupts with "Luke wait, did i ever tell you"
>>63418808
why would he rig the book if jedi order was killed and from that information some kid might learn ways of jedi and bring balance to force by taking out sith. its not like theres use to siths if they found it when it only shows the basics
>>63418930
Poor Ben, being a force ghost must be the most boring shit ever.
>Luke, get up you lazy shit, I need to tell you about Eggs
>An egg was a method of giving birth among some species. Rather than giving live birth, a member of an egg-laying species would lay an egg containing the young, within which the young would grow to term and hatch. Many reptilian and avian species were known lay eggs, such as Quor'sav, S'kytri, kaadu, marlellos, nunas, fambaas, geejaws, and fanbacks.
>Many species ate eggs of other creatures as a form of sustenance. Scrambling eggs was one alternate means of preparing them prior to consumption. Yam'rii were particularly fond of eggs, especially those of the Quor'sav.
The Kitonak and the Nediji worshiped a deity known as the Cosmic Egg.
>I see you love Princess Leia, give her a bowl of eggs, then she will be a good friend.
>>63418105
It originally came about because Obi-Wan's summary of Anakin as "a cunning warrior and a good friend" doesn't really jibe with how they're shown in the prequels, where Anakin was a bit of a raging dumbass and him and Obi-Wan seemed to frequently be at each other's throats. This then evolved to Obi-Wan going, say, "Luke, did I ever tell you about the time your father thought I was cheating on him with his wife, then I cut his limbs off? He was a good friend."
And because making fun of Wookieepedia is fun, it quickly evolved into that.
>>63418997
Why didn't Ben try use his force ghost power to weaken the Empire?
For example, the night before a big battle he could have kept appearing near sleeping generals of the Empire and some of the higher ranking officers, waking them up with useless stories like these.
Or during battle he could have kept flying right in front of their face obscuring their vision with kind of blue fog.
>>63409740
Now there's an idea for a movie.
>>63419053
Anakin has saved him in the past. His temper and impatience aside I do believe that back then he thought of Anakin as his friend.
>>63413651
>>63419098
Yeah, its obvious that Obi-Wan is just remembering the good moments he had with Anakin. However, the juxtaposition is funny.
>Luke, wake up. Have I ever told you about prostitutes?
>A prostitute was a being who provided sexual services in exchange for payment. Prostitution was known to be abundant on planets such as Keyorin, Brentaal IV, Arcan IV, and probably many other worlds throughout the galaxy. It could even be found on planets such as Coruscant, mostly confined to brothels or other seedy entertainment venues such as the Outlander Club.
>>63419098
like that memorable time they fell into that nest of gumdorks. i too would consider anyone who did that, whatever "that" is, to be a good friend, even though i spend all day yelling at him and being annoyed by him.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Color
>Colors were visual properties that derived from the light spectrum. Colors were often culturally significant in the galaxy.
>Colors were visual properties that derived from the light spectrum.
>were
>>63419179
>Colors were often culturally significant
jesus christ. i don't suppose there is an entry about "words" and how words were often culturally significant
>>63419179
It's was a long time ago, after all.
What makes it funny to me moreso than the ridiculousness of some of these wookieepedia pages is imagining Ben waking up Luke at the worst times over and over just to tell him some useless info about taxes, prostitutes or some musical instrument.
Luke is probably tired as fuck and needs a good rest before the important day, but no here comes Ben pulling him out of his slumber
Is Good Friend the /tv/ meme of the year? I like it much more than Baneposting.
>>63419294
baneposting transcends the entire competition as meme of the millennium
my vote for meme of 2015 goes to brendanposting
>>63419257
Nope, there isn't. Someone must fix that mistake.
>>63418621
>no chilli cheese dogs as interests
NONCANON
O
N
C
A
N
O
N
>>63419331
>not good friend
You're a bad friend.
>>63419294
Nah, meme of the year is definitely JUST
>>63419294
It's much better than Baneposting. You can do more with the Good Friend meme.
>>63410403
highly unlikely. Well, even if they joined forces and killed sheev and restored things,
obi wan wouldnt be able to arrest anakin, hes to strong.
Most likely he would disappear and live in exile.
>>63419359
chrischan pls
>Luke
>Luke, wake up and listen
>I know that tomorrow you will attack the Deathstar, so listen closely now Luke
>I have never told you about January 15
>January 15 is the 15th day of the year. 350 days (351 in leap years) remain in the year after this day
>Remember this Luke
>Now rest, you shouldn't be awake the night before such an important day
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Stonk
>>63418180
>Mom get in here, this fucking faggot is making fun of Obi-Wan again!
Uraurrru uaarra ururururu uaararararraaa uaaaarrrrrraaauuuuaaaaaaaur. aaurrarraaarauraaaaaourrruuu uuuuarrrauuuuuoaaaarrruuua. Just hide your face and bear it.
>>63419486
Holy shit that's high on the spectrum.
>Luke did i ever tell you about limbs?
>Limbs were important appendages of organic bodies and many types of mechanical chassis. They were typically designed for motion and/or manipulation, and were found on most sentient and non-sentient species throughout the galaxy, and many droids and other artificial constructs. They were good friends one should never lose.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Indiana_Jones
>One of his many discoveries was the habitat of Chewbacca (whom the local Human natives preferred to call "Sasquatch") and the crashed Millennium Falcon, which, as he admitted, was unlike anything he had seen before, even in Atlantis. Jones and his assistant, Shorty, started to explore the ship's wreckage, but decided to leave it alone after encountering strangely disturbing remains of Han Solo within.
>One day, while exploring ruins in a place called Mexico, Indiana Jones discovered an alien who abducted him to take him back to his home planet of Xantar. While on the planet he was discovered by Luke Skywalker.
BRAVO LUCAS
>>63419640
>"By the way [Indiana], did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like my [good] friend, Han Solo…?"
There's no limit to how deep this rabbithole goes.
>>63419524
>Uraurrru uaarra ururururu uaararararraaa uaaaarrrrrraaauuuuaaaaaaaur. aaurrarraaarauraaaaaourrruuu uuuuarrrauuuuuoaaaarrruuua.
"You have the dreaded tatooine fire ants on you. Let me help you by squashing them with my stick."
>>63419058
>Sheev, did I ever tell you about Force Screams?
>By far the most infamous use of it was by Anakin Skywalker, upon learning of the death of his wife, Padmé Amidala, and after his transformation into Darth Vader. This caused him involuntarily unleash a powerful Force scream of shame, rage, and grief, severely damaging the medical chamber and the droids within it.[8] The scream did not stop there, however. It echoed throughout the whole facility, causing the sensors to go haywire and one medical worker to permanently lose his hearing. Many staff members believed this scream came from a ghost, carrying out the death cries of the Clone Wars
>>63419640
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Fedora
>A fedora was a hat of archaeological significance.
>The in-universe version of this fedora is obviously alluding to the real-world fedora worn by Indiana Jones. Whenever Indiana Jones makes an appearance in Star Wars related material, he is usually seen wearing this type of fedora. However, the hat was not yet identified as a fedora and technically made into canon until its debut in the MMORPG Star Wars Galaxies.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Articles_with_conjectural_titles?from=U
>Hundreds and hundreds of pages to do with unidentified people and objects
>>63419838
How fucking deep does it go? Where does it end?
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Chad?
>Chad was a planet that orbited the blue-white star Chad in the Chad system of the Outer Rim Territories region of the galaxy
>>63419620
I don't think this one can be topped.
>>63419838
>Unidentified aqua droid 2
>Unidentified aqua droid 3
>Unidentified aqua droid 4
>Unidentified aqua droid 5
>Unidentified aqua droid 6
Why.
>>63419891
Is there a Pepe planet or a Beta planet?
im legit pissing myself reading this thread. i love you tv
>>63419949
Oh god it gets worse. There's two entire columns worth of "Unidentified B1 Battle Droid".
>>63419920
I'll do my best.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Sand? Sand was a creature native to the mostly-aquatic world of Lomabu III that colonized the planet's shorelines like its inorganic namesake. Crossing an area of the living sand was impossible on foot without a being becoming its next meal, as the near microscopic creatures were capable of eating through nearly any substance almost instantaneously. In this manner, it was much like carnivorous mold.
>Your father hated Sand. It was not a good friend.
>>63420016
112 worth, if my ctrl-F is working.
>Luke did I ever tell you about the unidentified aracnoid species?
>They were an arachnoid species was brought into the New Republic in 5 ABY through the negotiations of Leia Organa, just prior to the Battle of Mindor. The arachnoids were native to a minor star cluster. They were hairy and, unlike most arachnoids, had heads like those of humanoids, including mouthfuls of gleaming white teeth, just like those of Humans. During the negotiations, Han Solo found them to be very creepy, but I found them to be good friends.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_(planet)
>The President of the United States
>A nation-state leader on Earth carrying the title "President of the United States" once announced that, despite the demands of many citizens of Earth, his government would not build a Death Star. While his administration cited reasons of fiscal responsibility, officials of the Galactic Empire in a statement issued by Galactic Empire Public Relations attributed the decision to cowardice in the face of Imperial military superiority.
>The Galactic Empire Public Relations statement referred to Earth disparagingly as "tiny," "aggressive," and "unimaginatively named." Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin was quoted as saying that a "primitive" planet like Earth would only have disturbed galactic peace with a Death Star, unlike an "enlightened" leader such as Galactic Emperor Palpatine.
>>63420080
>Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin
>Wilhuff
>and Illhuff
>>63413651
>Luke dies
>becomes a Force Ghost
>Obi Wan appears and begins explaining about Force Ghosts
>>63420148
the whole ordeal starts over with forcepedia
>luke welcome to force heaven
>since you're here now, let me tell you about force ducks
>>63410244
holy shit kek
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the unidentified barren planet? It was an unidentified planet, located beyond the Outer Rim, and was the setting for a battle was the setting for a battle between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic[1] in 21 BBY.
>It's surface features included a quarry.
>Ben, why did you just say "[1]"?
>Luke, did I ever tell you about The Clone Wars: Decide Your Destiny: The Lost Legion? The Lost Legion is a "Decide Your Destiny" young reader book based on the Star Wars: The Clone Wars television series. It was published on July 23, 2009.
>Ben, what are you talking about? What's July 23?
>Luke, did I ever tell you about July 23? It was the date Gavin Bocquet was born, Tales of the Jedi: The Fall of the Sith Empire 2: Forces in Collision was published, Star Wars: Empire 10: The Short, Happy Life of Roons Sewell, Part 1 was published, Star Wars: Legacy 26: The Hidden Temple, Part 2 was published, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 31: Turnabout was published, The Star Wars trade paperback was released, The Star Wars hardcover was released, Star Wars: Legacy Volume 2 17 was released, and The Official Star Wars Fact File Part 29 was published.
>Ben, I'm worried about you.
>You are a good friend.
>>63420221
>luke did i ever tell you about force force
>>63420240
Sweet Jehu
>>63420240
oooooooooo i am laffin
>>63420240
Holy shit
This is what Alec Guiness should be doing.
Tormenting every single one of those Wookiepedia editors for all those years he had to put up with star wars shit.
>Luke, did I ever tell you about chairs?
>Chairs were pieces of furniture humanoids could sit in. Like many objects in the galaxy, chairs could also function temporarily as ad hoc weapons. They were sometimes made of wood.
T>he term "Chair" could also refer to a chairman.
>Han Solo owned a chair considered to be the "most comfortable chair ever designed."
>he was a good friend
Is it possible to buy Wookipedia and eradicate it from existence?
>>63420610
Was it Leia's face?
>>63420626
something tells me there's at least one turboautist who frequently backs this shit up for free just to preserve this legacy
>>63420240
im crying
>>63420626
>>63420626
Not from a jedi
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Energizer_Bunny
Luke, did I ever tell you about the Energizer Bunny? He was a good friend.
>The "Energizer Bunny" was a small male Lagomorph-like creature that used an Energizer battery attached to his back to keep going and going. Around 3 ABY, the Sith Lord Darth Vader was sent by his master, Emperor Palpatine, to take the Energizer Bunny's battery. However, after a brief duel in Cloud City's carbon-freezing chamber, the Bunny was able to escape from Vader after the batteries in the Sith Lord's lightsaber ran out, leaving Vader disarmed.
Did you ever hear the story of Rudolf the Reindeer? I thought not. It's not a story the Jews would tell you. It's a Christmas legend. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer was a reindeer with a shiny nose so bright he could use the light to direct Santa's sleigh to deliver...presents. He had such a shiny nose that he could even keep the ones he cared about cheerful on Christmas day. Christmas magic is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. His nose became so bright...the only thing he feared was the other reindeer laughing and calling him names, which eventually, of course, they did. Unfortunately, the other reindeer wouldn't let him join in any reindeer games, then Santa hired him to guide his sleigh. It's ironic. The other reindeer rejected him, but not Santa Claus.
>Luke did i ever tell you about incest?
>>63420739
>Lagomorph-like creature
it's a fucking rabbit you cunts
>>63420739
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Nerf steak?
>Nerf steaks were served in several dishes at Dex's Diner. When breakfast grilled nerf steak seasoned with a unique blend of serrian salt, tertium, Punctil, and black hole pepper and served with two gartro eggs was on sale, it cost 12.5 credits and was considered a staple throughout the galaxy. A variation of this was Quor'sav-fried steak. For lunch, nerfsteak sandwich was available for 8.7 credits, and finally for dinner meals, fried nerf steak with melted jerba cheese, grilled Ojomian onions, and Felucian glasscap mushrooms was available for 14.7 credits.
>>63420240
>Luke, did I ever tell you about Wookieepedia?
>Wookieepedia, the Star Wars Wiki is a wiki that was started on March 4, 2005, and strives to be the premier source of information on all aspects of the Star Wars universe. This includes information from the Star Wars films and Expanded Universe, as well as information of value to fans. The Star Wars wiki is inspired by Wikipedia, but can expand on Star Wars information in greater detail and with more freedom than Wikipedia. It was a good wiki.
>>63420812
Luke, did I ever tell you about Max?
>Max was a demented, diminutive, and destructive member of the bunny species. Over the course of his career, he worked with several different beings, such as an unidentified sentient dog and New Republic agent Kyle Katarn. His visage could be found in various locations across the galaxy, notably in Fuel City on the world of Sulon. On that same planet, Max stayed at the House of Max, in the capital city of Barons Hed. Later, he teamed up with Katarn to hunt down Derrida, a Ketton spy who had taken refuge at the Kwenn Space Station. Max and Katarn succeeded in apprehending their quarry but nearly destroyed the station while doing so.
>A fedora was a hat of archaeological significance.
>The fedora was a type of hat in the galaxy. Though fedoras were typically colored brown, they could come in a wide variety of hues.
>They were considered archaeologically significant, and at least one spacer was known to have worn this type of hat during 1 ABY.
>The in-universe version of this fedora is obviously alluding to the real-world fedora worn by Indiana Jones. Whenever Indiana Jones makes an appearance in Star Wars related material, he is usually seen wearing this type of fedora. However, the hat was not yet identified as a fedora and technically made into canon until its debut in the MMORPG Star Wars Galaxies.I made this image just for this post
is this wiki written in-universe or something
>>63420981
Luke, did I ever tell you about Sam - err, Unidentified sentient dog?
>"He's a bunny, I'm a dog. We're dangerous, but we work cheap."
>―Unidentified sentient dog[src]
>An unidentified sentient dog was a member of the dog species who worked with Max. He noted that he and his business partner were dangerous, but cheap.
>>63421045
no
star wars is real
>>63421066
holy shit order 66 confirms
>>63421045
Yes
>>63420933
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the Wookiepedia Breast controversy?
>One contributor argued strongly for the deletion of a picture where a sleeping Aayla Secura reveals her breast, but this motion was defeated following a 36 against to 1 for vote.
>Wikia itself later asked Wookiepedia to delete the picture, but backed down after contributors vowed to keep the picture up in anyway possivle, even dark side methods.
>I guess Master Secura was a good image for them!
>Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.
Luke, did I ever tell you about BEDS?
>A BED was a piece of furniture designed to sleep on and perhaps DREAM.
>DREAMS were phenomenon that happened when a being was ASLEEP.
>SLEEP was a biological process engaged in by many beings, both sentient and non-sentient, such as humans for the purpose of rest and rejuvenation. Sentient beings that slept generally did so according to a set routine and often utilized a comfortable piece of furniture, such as a BED.
>A BED was a piece of furniture designed to sleep on and perhaps DREAM.
>DREAMS were phenomenon that happened when a being was ASLEEP.
>>63421066
Execute post 66.
Luke, did I ever tell you about A'sharad Hett? He was a jedi who went to Tatooine after the purge and hung out with Sand People. I dueled him, but spared his life and banished him from the planet. He was later possessed by the spirit of a Sith lord, became Darth Krayt, and formed a new galactic empire that killed billions. He was not a very good friend.
>>63416145
Holy jesus
>Luke, Luke, please listen, this is important. You must learn about Testes
>Testes were the pair of male reproductive glands that produced the sperm in certain species. The female pendant of those glands were called ovaries. Being hermaphroditic, the swamp slugs of Dagobah had both testes and ovaries located in the rear part of their bodies. In Human males, the crotch area, where the testes were located, was a highly sensitive zone, and blow landed in that area could prove quickly debilitating. To exploit that natural weakness, the Mandalorian martial artists developed a low blow technique called the "Keldabe handshake."Similarly, a woman would sometimes slam her knee between a man's legs to rebuff his unwanted sexual advances. You came from your fathers testes, which were unfortunately destroyed when he dipped them in molten lava. They were good friends.
>>63421364
>You came from your fathers testes, which were unfortunately destroyed when he dipped them in molten lava.
Oh my god kek
>>63415425
FUCKING KEK
Luke, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
>>63415425
Based Boyega is that you?
>>63410604
>he comes in contact with civilization and thinks he's opening automatic doors with the force
>>63409516
There are some people that enjoy "Savage Oppress". Or that enjoy Maul suddenly coming back from the dead. Or Anakin Skywalker having had a padawan that was strangely never, ever mentioned in the movies.
>>63422508
But TCW is canon
>Luke wait, did i ever tell you about gravity? Gravity was the attraction between two bodies, dependent on their masses and the distance between them! Luke!
>>63422540
Says a lot about whether something's "good" just if it's EU or not.
>>63422508
>>63422540
TCW is canon for srs
>>63420739
Oh fuck I remember that commercial
