>>63271769
>A pair of worn sneakers walks on the sidewalk, into the building.

Right off the bat, weird phrasing. I thought this was about an invisible man or something.

>>63271769
I have done nothing since last year. I wrote a screenplay for 6 months straight everyday, and then a book 300 pages which is published. Then a 60 page tv show script.

I hate writing now because it's gotten rusty, I'm scared to get back into it because I'm afraid it'll be garbage, and I wish I had that magic spark I had a year ago, back.

Fucking hell. I have 10 high concept ideas too, blockbuster movie ideas, but I can't decide which to focus on since each one is interesting. That and poor focus. It doesn't help that I've quit smoking which makes it harder for me to concentrate on my work.

>>63271830
I'm trying to get out of a rut right now, just focusing on finishing shit regardless of quality. I can fix it in later drafts.

I have an idea for a movie:

A fugitive seeking the truth after his involvement in a large-scale terrorist attack is driving along until his car breaks down and the person who comes to help him is none other than a federal agent. But something is different about her, she also seeks the truth about the same attack. The two must learn to trust each other in order to survive the onslaught of government agents sent to kill them.

>>63271812
They say not to write shots into your script, and I've tried to avoid that. Those are supposed to be close ups.

>>63271894
I feel like I've heard this before.

>>63271871
I know that feel. Except with me, it takes more drafts than the average person to get it good, but when it is good...

I guess it's cause, I'm an impatient person, and I want results almost right away. I love it when my writing sounds pretty good, like last year, on an average or weak writing day, I was producing decent content on white space. I was told by Hollywood readers I had some talent that just needed a bit of refinement.

And now I've lost that edge.

I've been procrastinating to start writing the past 3 months. Too afraid to see shit on the page.

Fucking hell.

>>63271979
I know it's generic and over-done but I'd do some twists here and there and it would be a really small movie with not a lot going on. And it would be really racist.

>>63271993
I can understand that. I'm only an amateur writer myself (go fucking figure) and my biggest challenge has been actually finishing anything. The OP was the first script I've finished since like...last year.

>>63272039
Like an indie road trip movie? About terrorism?

>>63271769
To be quite honest, my family member, I'm not sure I get the point of your sketch. So a school shooter wanted to get noticed, but then what? You're basically just telling me the vague motivations of a school shooter, but in the end I feel like I'm not left with much.

Also, why can anyone just waltz into the hospital room of an attempted murderer, isn't he under police supervision? I feel like it might be better if your guy Connor was somehow stopped/noticed by that other guy Jonathan BEFORE he went in to shoot up the school. That way they can have the same basic conversation (WHY U DO THIS?/I HATE YOU, YOU COOL GUY) but there's some sort of added tension. There's also more opportunity for resolution, whether it's him shooting up the school or not.

>>63271916
I knew that's what those were while reading the script but what you did is essentially write shots into your script AND made it confusing.

>>63272083
Sure, why not. That actually sounds interesting.

But no, I mean like one of those quasi-art films with great cinematography and quiet music and talking (but great acting) that /tv/ would flaunt over.

>>63272096
>I feel like it might be better if your guy Connor was somehow stopped/noticed by that other guy Jonathan BEFORE he went in to shoot up the school.
I probably should do that, it does give it a little more weight.

Thanks, familia.

>>63272096
Also, originally my point was sort of to humanize the shooter a little, make him seem like a pathetic sack of shit rather than a heartless monster, but I donmt think I got that across very well.

>>63272247
Well you did make him sound pretty pathetic. Not sure about human though, he still came off as a bit of an entitled brat.

>>63272295
How was the dialogue? I usually have shitty dialogue, but I thought it turned out better here by nature of it being just two guys talking.

>>63272417
The thing that bothered me the most was why this Jonathan guy was so empathetic with the shooter. Is he supposed to be a jock or a cool guy with a heart of gold.

>>63272509
Yeah, I think that was what I was going for. He's going to him to sort of understand why someone would do this, and I guess he thinks that being a dick isn't gonna get him answers.

Last bump, I'm going to bed.