>In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm infront of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean
>>63067112
>After completing the movie 'Speed', Reeves disappeared from public view for 6 months to complete a project he called his "life's calling". In August of 1995, Reeves gained notoriety for hijacking a school bus in Los Angeles and leading police on a 10 hour chase that ended in tragedy. Reeves, who appeared mentally disturbed and sporting a full beard, reportedly spent 6 months planning the hijacking. Due to the nature of the hijacking, police assumed it filming for a sequel to the Speed movie, and didn't respond until Reeves drove through a crowded marketplace, killing 16 and injuring over 100. Despite their best efforts, police were not able to stop Reeves, who drove the bus full of 44 elementary school children off the Santa Monica Pier. All the children died, and autopsies showed that all 44 had been molested by Reeves during the chase.
>>63067167
>In October 2001, Keanu Reeves met with the families of 9/11 victims. After a brief interview in which he expressed his condolences and hope for closure, he reportedly burst out laughing and made airplane noises and mimicked two planes crashing. He then picked up the child of a deceased victim and whispered into her ear "Your dad's dead, bitch", and proceeded to put on a pair of sunglasses and unleash a barrage of martial arts attack on the small child. She was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced dead due to extreme trauma. When asked later about the incident, Reeves became visibly sexually aroused and repeated the same attack on the reporter.
>>63067191
>In 2001 after being approached by Scientology recruiters, Keanu Reeves is reported to have said, "Why join a cult... when I can BE a cult?!" Allegedly he shoved the recruiters to the ground and ran away laughing maniacally. 5 months later his agent finally located him in a small African village near lake Victoria, leading an apocalyptic death cult. The UN report on the aftermath remains classified but rumors speak of mass graves, human sacrifice, and murals of Mr.Reeve's face made out of the bones of children. Beneath the village it is said that the cult of Ogamboo Metukalu (The One) had 2,000 slave laborers digging a secret underground temple complex where the cult intended to live after the Apocalypse. Mr.Reeve's agent says the Hollywood star has put that part of his life behind him and chalks it up to poor judgment brought on by a flu, but if that is the case, why does Keanu continue to make routine trips to Africa to this day? And why are cases of missing children around Lake Victoria more than 20 times higher than the average of the rest of Africa? Mr.Reeve's agent declined to comment.
>>63067112
>in November 2015 op was a faggot full of shit.
How does he get away with this
>>63067243
he has a good PR guy
What a madman!
>>63067225
>being this new
The cider quote by le christian neighbour man
If its clear and yella you got juice there fella, if its brown ur in cider town or something like that
Well fucking meme'd mustachio companion
Excellently narrated godfearing man-next-door
Kektastically insinuated cultist from beyond the fence
>>63067112
cool
>>63067191
this is the best one
Keanu is such a good guy that bad guy memes are made about him
>>63067112
thank you OP for bringing back some pre-bane fun
>>63067191
>When asked later about the incident, Reeves became visibly sexually aroused and repeated the same attack on the reporter.
>Prom night
>You were Beta to invite anybody
>You hear the door bel
>You open it and see this
Wat do
>>63067370OP only did the first posti did all the othersbut OP inspired me to dig in the archives
>>63067512
love him
>>63067512
That subtle smile
The Reeves Chronicles pastas are better than Arnold pasta
>>63067512
I'd give him chocolate with sprinkles
>>63067112
>>63067167
>>63067191
>>63067220
#based
cant sheev the reeve
>>63067512
y..you too.
>Hey man, are you ok?
>I didn't know this party was so crowded
>We can go home any time you want, just ask ok?
>>63070219
I wish he was my dad
I actually knew this dude that played in the day the earth stood still, and he said Keanu was a really cool dude.
He also said he smoked alot, and like to be alone
>>63067112
Total bullshit. Point Break ended filming in 1990.
>>63067512
I saw Keanu Reeves at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Whoa?” but he kept cutting me off and going “whoa? whoa? whoa?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
>In 1991 during the filming
>In 1991
>1991
Whoa, that's like forty years ago.
>>63067112
i actually heard that this isn't true.
>>63067225
.......Really?
>>63071532
Thanks Mr Wick
>>63067112
Hey OP, I thought they restricted internet access in the sanitarium.
