Every millennial who grew up watching “Spongebob Squarepants” has come to the same horrifying conclusion: you have turned into Squidward. No matter how buoyant, how cheerful, how optimistic you were as a child, there comes a point where you begin to identify with Squidward more than any other character in the show.
You could explain this phenomenon with the disillusionment and cynicism of growing up, or the burdens of being a teenager in a post-John Hughes society. There is, however, an even simpler answer. Spongebob is an allegory for Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. The show revolves around Spongebob, the hardworking proletariat, accepting a low-level fry cook job and enduring Mr. Krabs’ exploitation with a grin on his face.
It’s not hard to draw the parallels between Mr. Krabs and the bourgeoisie. He’s a cheapskate who underpays and overworks his employees for his own personal gain. Mr. Krabs famously ripped off his own arms (claws?) to retrieve a dime that fell down the drain. He took his workers on a boating trip to retrieve his millionth dollar from the jaws of a giant clam. He has zero regard for his employees’ safety and almost routinely puts them in danger for his own benefit. Mr. Krabs’ daughter, Pearl is an extension of the bourgeoisie archetype. She’s vain, self-centered, and largely unaware of others’ misfortune. She lives in a bubble, obsessed with clothes, makeup, and celebrities — because she has the leisure for such frivolities.
this desu
>>63023687
Speaking of living in a bubble, Sandy is not exempt from analysis. Sandy is quite literally shielded away from the rest of the world. She represents the intellectual elite, using her privilege and higher education to jeopardize working class jobs and further the industrial revolution. Her endeavors into space mirror the Cold War-era “Space Race,” capitalism versus communism. Her voyage ends on the moon, just like the U.S.’s did. On top of her scientific record, Sandy is independent and self-sufficient, exemplifying capitalistic ideals of individualism.
If Sandy is the intellectual elite, then Patrick Star is just the opposite. Patrick represents the bourgeois caricature of the working class that capitalists want you to buy into. He is ignorant, undereducated, and lazy. He lives under a rock, likely because he can’t afford anything else — although he doesn’t seem to mind. Patrick appears to deserve his poverty because he does nothing but sleep, yet he also seems at peace with his lot. This idea of the happy, unproductive bum simultaneously vilifies and justifies the proletariat. “See, they’re poor because they just don’t work hard enough! In fact, they like being poor!” Patrick Star is arguably one of the most offensive cartoon depictions of this generation.
Spongebob, on the other hand, represents the ideal proletariat. Spongebob is hardworking, humble, and endlessly optimistic. He’s a lot like us before we realized the inherent evils of a capitalistic society. Day in and day out, Spongebob gleefully works a minimum-wage job flipping burgers with no hope of promotion. He’s a cog in Mr. Krabs’ greasy machine, but he doesn’t even realize it. He just continues to skip to work every day, chanting “I’m ready!”. Ready for what, Spongebob? Ready for the bourgeoisie Kool-aid he’s been absorbing through his poriferous sponge body.
>Dude vote democrat lmao xD
>>/pol/
>>63023687
Spongebob is the ideal worker, and as children, we aspired to be just like him. The very first episode of Spongebob showed him getting his first job as fry cook. According to the show, the very best achievement you could receive is being gainfully employed. Not only employed, but tirelessly productive and efficient to maximize your manager’s profits. Spongebob famously served busloads of anchovies at a never-before-seen pace. It wasn’t enough that Spongebob could perform his job well; he had to go above and beyond his duty in order to seem valuable. These are the principles we instilled in the youth of today. What went wrong?
Back, finally, to Squidward. Squidward isn’t like Spongebob or Patrick. He isn’t satisfied in his low-level employment. What Squidward seeks is artistic satisfaction and world renown. He covets the success of his employer without achieving the work ethic necessary for someone of his class to ascend. Squidward has realized that the cards have been stacked against him at every turn, and resigns himself bitterly to the clutches of capitalism. If Squidward were less jaded, he could be the catalyst to prompt full-scale class warfare, perhaps ending in a communist utopia. Unfortunately, Squidward’s defeatist personality and egoism prevents him from implementing social change.
That is why we are all Squidward. We’ve uncovered the limits of capitalism and realized that hard work may not always pay off. We’ve begun to notice the oppressive economic and social structure that infiltrates our everyday life. We yearn for something higher, but feel that change is out of our reach. We become bitter, combative, self-deprecative, and cynical. There’s a reason Squidward is the unhappiest character on “Spongebob.” Not only for faults of his own, but for his own rotten luck. The show subliminally punishes Squidward for his views, hoping to prod viewers back towards Spongebob’s blithe, unfounded optimism.
>>63023687
Their efforts were to no avail. Millions of millennials are finding themselves disillusioned, realizing all along that Squidward was the reasonable one. He had a right to protest Mr. Krabs’ vile working conditions, and his sarcasm was merely a coping mechanism for the injustices placed against him. Squidward is the dissatisfied proletariat, and we identify with him more than ever. The difference is, we have the energy and collective power to succeed where he could not. Together, we can rise up and defeat the bourgeoisie, establishing an egalitarian society that does not prey on the lower classes. In the words of Spongebob, “I’m ready.” Are you?http://cocaineandheroines.tumblr.com/post/130515945904/the-red-sponge-spongebobs-role-in-enforcing-an
But Squidward is an artist and a cashier, whereas Spongebob is a really good fry cook and loves his job/life
You're dumb OP
>>63023687
>>63023709
I love fan theories, they're so fucking weird.
The simple fact is that Spongebob's characters are so broad, yet well-defined that you could apply them to a ton of different things. Seven Deadly Sins, for example. They're archetypes.
>>63023783
No your dumb anon. Squidward is obviously an artist and a cashier, whereas Spongebob is a really good fry cook and loves his job/life. How can you not see this? Go back to school.
>>63023811
Fuck off OP. Only a severe autist would fail to see that Squidward is an artist and a cashier, whereas Spongebob is a really good fry cook and loves his job/life.
>>63023762
I feel like you could trace a lot of this idea back to the Krusty Krab Training Video.
>>63023687
Fuck off manchild.
>>>/co/
>>63023884
Unlike you, I actually finished a marathon of the entire show and took notes to back up my argument. I even watched interviews of the writers and they clearly revealed that Squidward is an artist and a cashier, whereas Spongebob is a really good fry cook and loves his job/life. Not the other way around.
Squidward is actually a combat veteran struggling to live with PTSD.
He lives a very rigid and organized lifestyle, dressing in the same familiar khaki polo every day and coming home to his neat house. But he can't relate to the younger generation who have never experienced the horrors of war. Spongebob and Patrick live spontaneously, often through him, and that drives him crazy. He doesn't want to be cured, only to be understood.
Mr. Krabs understands Squidward, as he served in the Navy too. Notice that despite how much Squidward complains, he still relates and confides in Krabs.
Squidward is often prone to fits of rage, usually due to Spongebob's antics. It's easy to understand in hindsight- carelessness gets men killed. But at the end of the day, Squidward can always calm himself by playing his clarinet. The clarinet is a tool to Squidward, just like a rifle or pack. A tool to be used and for emotion to be funneled out. It is the only ounce of humanity he has left...
Squidward had a hard life.
>>63023941
>Squidward is an artist and a cashier
>Spongebob is a really good fry cook and loves his job/life
kill yourself
Squidward is a fucking artist and a cashier, whereas Spongebob is a goddamn good fry cook and loves his motherfucking job/life.
Gtfo newfag
>this entire thread
>>63023989
>uses acronyms
>has the gall to call anybody else a newfag
>>>/b/
>>>/facebook/
>>63024114
Honestly, I'm just trying to have a civil argument here, and you're just being a major cuntbag.
>>63024173I'm not that guy
>>63023989
>>63023941
>>63023884
>>63023811
This is like some fucking House Of Leaves shit right here.
>>63024266
Obviously. If you actually processed the discourse that the other anon and I were having, you would clearly understand that my brain works at a higher level than yours.
Sure is tumblr here.
>>>/get/
>>>/the/
>>>/fuck/
>>>/out/
>>63024334
tfw OP doesn't even tumblr
>>63024321
except you're only half right. Squidward is a mature and cynical individual only because he has seen the horrors of war that none of the other characters have.
He's a broken shell of a man, and despite his efforts to break the cycle of depression, he keeps being brought down by the foil of his character- the naive spongebob.
I think that secretly, deep down inside Squidward relates to him, and is jealous of his carefree nature. This causes him to lash out in anger because he hates what he's become.
OH YEAH MR KRABS
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>63024464
Someone skimmed through the essay.
The only conclusion I've come to is that squidward is a conservative while spongebob and patrick are liberal fruitcakes. It makes sense since most conservatives look like they're depressed by the way politics have been lately while liberals are overjoyous twinks blissfully passing through life unaware of their surroundings.
>>63023687
>she lives in a bubble
wrong, she lives in an anchor
>>63024631
>believing the world consists of mostly liberals and conservatives
I'm depressed because millions of people like you still view other people as archetypes and buy into that liberal vs conservative bullshit. 1/3 of the population checked a box saying they're "liberal" while 1/3 checked "conservative" and the other 1/3 checked something else. As hard as it might be, stop buying into /tv/. It's fiction.
Redpill yourself, anon.
www.gallup.com/poll/180452/liberals-record-trail-conservatives
>>63023687
I bet this is just copied and pasted from a buzzfeed article or reddit or something.
>>63025021
I was talking about the show not real world perspective.
>>63025045
actually, tumblr
I thought it was fucking hilarious pasta
>>63025021
how do i know who to vote for unless the tv tells me?
>>63025045
The link is literally posted in this thread.
>>63025071
>"most conservatives"
>"the way politics have been lately"
What, do you follow the politics of Bikini Bottom? Did you hear the fish talk about gun rights?
Nice try anon.
>>63025089
Can't tell if sarcastic or autistic.
um independent news sources
fuck tv and fuck /tv/
I only posted this pasta in here to get laughs
Now I realize I should've just gone to /co/
>>63025021
>he was referring to the show's characters
>you start up with this shit
>>63025118
I'll have you know I teach a course on the politcs of aquatic undersea life.
>>63025190
refer to this, anon:
>>63025118
>>63025118
Are you the show's writer? Are you the one placing subliminal messages into the cartoon? Are you even you?
>>63025118
>>63025215
Good goyim
>>63025212
>>63025163
Laughing all the way
>>63025212
Wanna pasta about it? I'll start you off anon.
I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the politics of aquatic undersea life, and I have over 300 confirmed debate wins.
>>63023727
>The very first episode of Spongebob showed him getting his first job as fry cook.
Wasn't the first episode ripped my pants and bubbles?
>not wanting to be Mr Krabs
Go feel the bern somewhere else you commie.
>>63025231
yes
>>63025339
nope, go check
>>63025414
oh yeah it was the anchovies one
my bad
>it's a gay sponge dealing with his retarded friend episode
>>63025363
>making an irrelevant point
All we're doing in here is basking in the lulz anon. You need an oil massage.
>>63023762
Squidward is unhappy with life because he doesn't have a wife and kids, not because he's opressed in some way. He's a parody of the typical liberal urban beatnik that thinks he will become a famous artist or musician. He doesn't paint and play clarinet because he enjoys it, he does it for recognition like a pompous egotistical asshole. He's not even talented at painting or playing the clarinet even though he practices all the time. Squidward could go to college or trade school if he wanted a better job. He has enough money to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle, he simply lacks the wisdom to realize he's unlikely to become a famous artist, so he should find a woman to settle down with and have kids with. If he's gay, he should at least find a boyfriend and maybe adopt a daughter.
SpongeBob is the comic relief character and a dumb autistic manchild. He's only the main character of the show because it's a kids' show and they need to relate to the childish character.
Sandy seems to actually find fulfillment in the single life because she's a genius scientist that can build a rocket that goes to the moon. Her inventions are so fulfilling to her that she doesn't need a family to be happy. She's much more socially well-adjusted than squidward, and will probably have a family anyways, lol.
Patrick is borderline retarded and seems to live off of disability payments or money from his family. He hangs out with spongebob because stupid people usually are friends with each other.
Mr krabs is portrayed not as a winner, but as a sad angry man who can never be satisfied no matter how much money he gets. His wife must have divorced him or cheated on him with another whale (which would explain why Pearl appears to be %100 whale), or possibly Pearl is his step-daughter or adopted daughter. If I had to guess, I'd say Krabs is pursuing money relentlessly to make up for the fact that his wife is no longer with him and to distract him from his real problem.
>>63025516
>taking this pasta seriously
my name is OP and I'm kekking pretty hard right now
>>63025604
Pasta or not, the OP has made the most sound argument in this thread
>>63025516
I think the Krabs and Squidward are pseudo-intellectuals possessing only above-average intellect and they rah think that they will one day be a financial genius or artistic genius. They constantly fail and can't make peace with their limitations, so they are constantly dissappointed and miserable.
By contrast, spongebob and Patrick are euphoric morons, with no real expectations for the future, so everything is fun for them.
Sandy is the only character who has intelligence, maturity, and happiness. Even though she knows spongebob and Patrick are morons, she's polite enough not to insult them like Squidward does.
Squidward reminds me of many 4chan posters. You guys make fun of people all the time, probably because you're dissatisfied with your own lives.
I find the parallel between Krabs and the Bourgeoisie interesting
>>63025672
You're right. I'm so lonely. Wahh.Sob.
>>63023687
>Copying some kids thesis
>>63025672
>"you guys"
>implying you're not one of us
>>63025765
I linked that kid's thesis itt
Wait I see what you're doing you fucking barstad. Just because it's the middle of the night doesn't mean we all transform into nice people. Faggot. Faggot. Faggot. Faggot.
hold me anon ;-;
