>his smile and optimism: gone
>>63211558
'You need to be happy to live, I don't.' -- Keanu Reeves
Fuck him. That's right. Fuck him. Fuck his lost smile, fuck his lost optimism and fuck age catching up to him. Fuck you, too. Depressed, Keanu? Why don't you get that car up to 300 kilometers per hour and see if you can wrap yourself around a tree. What a fucking RUSH.
OP, you'd better listen up and listen up, GOOD. Money doesn't buy happiness, but the goods and services one can purchase with it can sure as almighty, ever-loving, Christ-on-a-pogostick GODFUCK temporarily distract one from UNHAPPINESS.
You see, OP, you put these cunts on such a high pedestal and worship them so much that I'm surprised you haven't opened a portal right to their genitals and you're slurping their celebrity fucking SCHLONGS right now. Get a fucking grip.
So Keanu is "sad"? Get a fucking psychiatrist, Keanu. Better yet, get a voice coach to remove that fucking puerile Hawaiian accent you've been dragging down otherwise-good films with, for the last THIRTY GODDAMN YEARS. Snort some cocaine from a silver platter carried on a midget's head, while you're at it. Shit, why not make it two midgets? Make them dress as transsexual Nazi Eskimos too, because fuck it, you can afford to with all the squillions of money you've received from being the same bland cunt in EVERY DAMN FILM since 1985.
Fuck me, you cunts are far-removed from reality.
>In October 2001, Keanu Reeves met with the families of 9/11 victims. After a brief interview in which he expressed his condolences and hope for closure, he reportedly burst out laughing and made airplane noises and mimicked two planes crashing. He then picked up the child of a deceased victim and whispered into her ear "Your dad's dead, bitch", and proceeded to put on a pair of sunglasses and unleash a barrage of martial arts attack on the small child. She was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced dead due to extreme trauma. When asked later about the incident, Reeves became visibly sexually aroused and repeated the same attack on the reporter.
>>63211637
ye i didnt like his last movie either, seems to me he is just playing himself
>>63211558
>here in my garage..
>>63211558
FREE PIZZA
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>>63211808
Are you referring to that weird youtube ad? What was that all about anyway?
>In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface. As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm infront of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.
>>63211828
some dweeb rented a house and a supercar to shoot an ad about selling secrets to success on a website you had to pay for subscription.
>>63211558
Is he a cardboard cut out, how can I get one?
>>63211558
He really ordered a LaFanny ?
That's weird I never see Keanu as a petrol head. Maybe he is a human being.
>>63211853
>After completing the movie speed, Reeves disappeared from public view for 6 months to complete a project he called his "life's calling". In August of 1995, Reeves gained notoriety for hijacking a school bus in Los Angeles and leading police on a 10 hour chase, ending in tragedy. Reeves, who appeared mentally disturbed and sporting a full beard, reportedly spent 6 months planning the hijacking. Due to the nature of the hijacking, police assumed it filming for a sequel to the Speed movie, and didn't respond until Reeves drove through a crowded marketplace, killing 16 and injuring over 100. Despite their best efforts, police were not able to stop Reeves, who drove the bus of 44 elementary school children off the Santa Monica Pier. All the children died, and autopsies showed that all 44 had been sexually molested by Reeves during the chase.
>>63211900
Sounds genius honestly.
>>63211637
Alex pls go
