It's.... all over the shop. It is a mess and a half of a film.
> First, the Theme tune.
Rubbish. Can't hum it, can't remember it, can't sing it. Worst theme tune since Duran Duran's 'View to a Kill'.
> Second, the Title.
Rubbish. There is an organization in the film named Spectre, which we never learn anything about beyond "These are some really bad guys who do bad things in sharp suits." Which only seems to be there to introduce Blofeld, who only seems to be there to make visual references to older Bond films and could frankly have been completely cut out of the film without missing a beat
>>62943043
> What's the story?
We all sat there at the end thinking the same thing.
> "Do I not know what's going on because it's incomprehensibly told, or because I just don't care?"
The interesting thing here is that everything up until the introduction of Blofeld is a tight thrill ride, but when we get to the rewrites you can feel the whole ride slowing down to a crawl and after a certain point I simply stopped caring. Nothing happening had any consequences, none of Blofeld's backstory or motivations made any sense and in the end it's finally revealed that nobody has any character arc of any kind. Nothing changes. Nothing sticks.
>>62943054
> Violence?
There's no pain. What made Casino Royal work was that it HURT. Those fight sequences hurt. Those wounds stayed with Bond throughout the film and eventually hospitalized him for weeks. There was a very tense few minutes in the film wherein you're genuinely concerned that Bond might have had his testicles irreparably damaged. You felt like people where losing things, but not in Spectre.
On more than one occasion characters are inches away from massive explosions which they all seem to walk away from without incident. It doesn't hurt. There's no results from any of the action. It's like watching TeleTubbies bouncing around a padded room because in the end nobody ever gets hurt.
>>62943043
>>62943054
This is a fabrication, he loved it, and he loves Skyfall too.
>>62943071
The BBFC ruling on this film says
> "there is a scene of torture, although there is only limited detail and the character in question is not seriously harmed...there are a number of scenes of moderate action violence... but these lack any focus on detail."
and that really cuts to the heart of it. We're fresh off of Skyfall wherein Bond's shoulder wound from the opening scene was so severe that months later he couldn't shoot accurately to save his life or others, now in Spectre he's shooting down helicopters from a racing speedboat with a small caliber pistol during a moonless night after having holes drilled in his brain.
>>62943043
>Worst theme tune since Duran Duran's 'View to a Kill'.
Opinions discarded right there.
>none of Blofeld's backstory or motivations made any sense
i believe he was jealous of Bond becasue his own dad showed Bond more affection. A bit cartoony though.
>>62943088
> The torture?
Let's compare Casino Royale's torture scene with the one from Spectre. Le Chifrre said it best: "I never understood all these elaborate tortures. It's the simplest thing that can cause more pain than a man can possibly endure." and believe me, every man in the audience had his legs crossed during that scene. There where stakes to the scene. Le Chifrre lost the game. If he didn't get the password out of bond within minutes he'd be dead. If Bond didn't give it up soon enough he'd lose his manhood and if he doesn't escape then presumably Vesper will be tortured to death too.
So tell me, why was Blofeld torturing Bond in Spectre?
To make a visual reference to an earlier Bond film without any impact on the plot, and that's exactly how I would summarize this movie.
>>62943100
It was basically Austin Powers: Goldmember but slightly, I stress slightly, more serious.
>you actually wrote out all of this shit
>>62943043
he said he loved it you berk
>>62943043
This is actually his review for Quantum of Solace. He quite liked Spectre
>>62943071
>craig
>bond
>view to a kill by duran duran
>bad
man with a taste so shit how can i take seriously the rest of the review, or bother to read it?
>>62943043
>>62943054
>>62943071
>>62943088
>>62943110
If this is fake it's an excellent impersonation.
>>62943953
OP here, of course it's fake. Kermode got VIP treatment at a press screening so he refused to say thing bad about the film.
I don't consider that to be his real opinion of the film, and I'm confident that within a month he'll do a Kermode Uncut along the lines of what I've written.
Spectre is one of those bad films that Kermode deludes himself into praising because he has already invested so much into praising the director.
>>62943953 see >>62943203
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_BfEoFFNqo
>>62944004
Doubt it. He still wildly overrates Skyfall to this day, this won't be any different.
>>62943043
>kermode is always right
Has he ever been wrong about anything? Guy is the premiere film critiqué
>>62943043
view to a kill was great fuck you
>>62943043
>Rubbish. Can't hum it, can't remember it, can't sing it. Worst theme tune since Duran Duran's 'View to a Kill'.
literally kill yourself
>>62944113
He's decently reliable so long as the film doesn't feature woman or black people and isn't made by one of his fave directors.
>>62944210
His Nolan shilling is particularly egregious.
>>62944113
In his Fury Road review he talked about how the girls shouldn't have shown so much skin, the big stupid ponce, otherwise he liked it
>>62944113
see: Wally Pfister's Transcendence.
his attempts to defend it because Wally is a good friend is cringeworthy.
This is his actual Spectre review. He loved it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5xfbHPcNn4
>>62944434
I've always assumed that his Transcendence review was the peak of his bullshit selective lack of standards but I've never watched that film so it would be unfair of me to judge him for it.
>>62944434
Are they actually friends or are you star wars memeing.
>>62943088
Why the fuck does he bother to look up what the BBFC says about the film let alone reference that in a review?
>>62943091
This. What a fucking lying hack. No one could seriously think that.
>Kermode ever criticising a British-made film
>>62944576
You mean a british film not starring Danny Dyer or based on a television sitcom.
>that weird obsessive guy is still making anti-spectre threads.
I don't get it, were you turned down for a job on the film or something?
>>62943043
Why can't Kermode pronounce duran or lazenby?
>>62944576
Kermode hates everything with Danny dyer in it and anything made by Ritchie that isn't Sherlock Holmes.
Move over to Jimbovision.
He hates everything and doesn't go on and on about it. 3 minutes tops.
>>62944648
He is referencing a mispronunciation of Duran Duran by a Radio One DJ. Don't know about Lazenby.
>>62946343
Did anyone tell him in-jokes don't really work on public radio?
>>62943091
The Madonna song was far worse than either. Spectre had a shit song but that Madonna garbage was beyond shit.
>>62948236
I hate how DaD has become the whipping boy of the Bond franchise
>>62948466
Become?? It always was, and with good reason
>>62948547
>good reason
Whatever
>>62944486
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEiPHHmEdX0
>>62948466
It's miles better than Quantum.
>>62944311
i think if he rewatched he would realise he was mistaken about that, just sometimes he really does look out for sexist tendencies
>>62944434
Kermode has taken apart films from "friends" before, he doesnt care about that stuff
>>62948155
Incidentally, Hello to ________.
