Hey /tv/, I'm not a normal poster here, but I thought I'd share a quick story with you. I recently went to a yard sale in my neighborhood and found a piece of merchandise that intrigued me: it was like one of those retractable light sabers and was yellow, but 2 sticks on it said "The Bibleman Adventures." I looked up the series, and apparently there's very little information on it. While I CAN find shopping listings and mentions of a bibleman board game, action figures, and DVDs, I can't find any about his sword. Which leads me to wonder, do I have some Chinese bootleg Bibleman merch and if so, is this worth some cash?
>>70129972
Pic related is the sword in question
I remember this show, basically a Batman rip off with lightsabers.
Aka pure kino
>>70129972
How can kids become strong in the Lord's mighty power? Have them read Ephesians chapter six, where St. Paul lists his famous armor inventory. At the very end, he reminds us to "take the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." This toy Bibleman sword is the perfect way to turn everyday role-playing games into Bible reminders to help kids live a life of faith. Did we mention it lights up, vibrates, and has Bibleman sound effects? Equip your young warrior-in-training with a weapon that reinforces the importance of God's Word.Batteries not included. TOYS ARE NON-RETURNABLE.
Jesus :Put away your laser sword, for those who live by the laser sword shall die by the laser sword
>>70130599
I looked this up, but that's the description of a different sword. Mine has a darker handle, not a purple one.
I still own every Willie Aimes episode, his autograph, and a few action figures.
The most mainstream thing I've seen reference this was Super
>>70129972
>It's a "Bible man rallies the crusaders" episode
>>70129972
https://youtu.be/8oWQRku69Gk?t=10m27s
I feel like this show is a treasure trove of reaction gifs.
>>70130751
>It's a "Bible Man revives the Spanish Inquisition" episode
I used to have almost every episode on vhs.
I remember it being very funny.
Being raised Christian was weird.
>>70131805
>it's a Bible Man fends off accusations of child molestation in the court of law episode
>>70131874
Shit, my parents just bought me veggietales.
>>70131878
>It's a "Bible Man founds a 'Pray Away the Gay' camp" episode
>>70131902
I had a ton of those too.
>tfw i still have Hillsong United songs memorized a decade later
Protestants are the fucking worst.
>>70131975
I remember my parents used to buy a lot of christian stuff for me, but eventually they gave it up and decided I'd be better off making my own religious decisions in life.
But this was after 8 consecutive Catholic Summer Camps, one at which I had to be taken home early because the other kids actually stole all my possessions because I asked why being gay was a sin.
>>70129972
>It's a Bibleman fights Jews, atheists, feminists, and pagans episode
>>70132016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ7w_tvo4VY
You bet it.
>>70132054
That 4th guy doubles as pagan and Jewish.
We posting Christkino?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RfU5r63AXY
>>70132151
Newfag here, what does "kino" mean?
I assume it means high quality film.
>>70132202
it means get the fuck out newfag
>>70132271
I'm only a curious normie who lurks on /co/ mostly, fuck off.
>>70129972
Anyone else notice this?
>>70132300
go back to facebook faggot
>>70132300
You just gave him two more reasons you should fuck off.
>>70129972
>confirmed for never watching mad tv
pleb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcMY_tWEeZg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z4mF9GSp4w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VTqWi8BhvU
>>70132386
Mad tv is unfunny shit.
>>70132443
hello rebbit, enjoying snl?
>>70132151
wtf is 17 min about
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXsHPLl-zFY
>>70132083
God I'd forgotten all about this
>>70132600
Bar codes are of the devil, don't you know anything?
>>70132600
Bar codes have 666 in them and used for commerce, they're the mark of the beast.
>>70132151
You know Family International ended up being a cult/crime syndicate hyrlbrid? They ran thos elaborate prostitution ring where its prostitutes would have sex with men and try ro convert them to their own bizarre version of Christianity and if that didnt work they would blackmail them. Also, they were notorious for their internal child molestation scandal.
Family International was evil as shit
>>70132330
Notice what, a generic guarding stance? You're looking for a connection that isnt there weeb.
>>70132386
Top kek!
Best Episode of Bibleman
Bibleman vs The Jews
(yes this episode actually happened)
https://youtu.be/3En1-5f-J2E?t=1m3s
>>70129972
>"You see, Timmy, the Muslims tried to dominate US. That's how the onslaught started."
That Easter weekend Crusades special...
Why are christians always so creatively bankrupt?
I guess Satan has all of the talent.
>>70130670
Sell your cloak and buy a laser sword
>>70130599
>for kids
>phallic
>vibrates
GOOD JOB RELIGION!
>>70135729
wow, that is the most stereotypical depiction of a jew and I have ever seen, and i'm an anti-Semite right off the bat. lol
>its a take bronze age nomadic goat herders fables literally episode
>>70136087
I'd say "nice b8", but this actually fucking made me kek.
>>70135903
Because budgets. No one with any real money is going to bankroll anything with such a specific, religious based message.
>>70136262
God's Not Dead had a budget of 2 million and still managed to be fucking shit and show that Christians don't even understand Western philosophy.
