>be me
>a little socially awkward, not ugly, but have trouble keeping conversations interesting
>watch "Drive" and decide i'm going to change my life
>I will become the driver
>buy solid color henley t shirts, a jean jacket, and skinny jeans
>start college next month
>meet roommate at move in day
>"hey anon, i'm stephen, its nice to meet you"
>want to respond but remember i have a new image now
>look directly at him
>letting the silence hang in the air, counting to 10 in my head
>"hey"
>he seemed a little off put but at least im not the one feeling uncomfortable for once
>one week later
>roommate asks if i want to go to a rush party with him, and these two girls he met the night before
>"ok"
>"great, but it's off campus, do you know anyone who could drive us?"
>get really excited... but remember to count to ten first
>.....
>"I drive"
>"ok, thanks bro, it'll be worth it when you see these girls. they are smoking hot. and i've been talking you up to one of them."
>i begin to get nervous, because i've never had much success with girls.
>I think about how driver would handle the situation
>say as little as possible
>be mysterious
>be in control
>>70076875
lmao
>>70076875
>on our way to pick up the girls
>I decide tonights the night i bust out my driving gloves, and my roommate notices
>"cool gloves anon"
>i nod and slip in a toothpick
>pull up to the girls house
>roommate gets out to get them
>"you've got a five minute window, anything happens inside that five minutes, im yours. anything happens outside of that and your on your own. understand?"
>this is probably the single longest thing i've said to him at this point, he seems surprised
>"uh.. sure.. it wont take long"
>i take off my watch and put it on the steering wheel
>>70076907
>the girls get to the car and he wasn't lying, they were super hot. they were also super drunk already
>"wow stephen, you werent lying about him, he's a cute one"
>i begin to get a little nervous. my hands are sweaty as fuck from my gloves, and im wearing my quilted racing jacket (no scorpion) over my jean jacket
>remember the driver doesn't have to respond to social cues
>meet them with silence
>stephen begins to look nervous for me
>".....what's the job?"
>"uhh... the party is a few miles away... thanks again for driving"
>turn on my cb police scanner and pull out of the driveway
>>70076943
>the girls are now really getting into it
>they think im pretty cool, the strong silent thing is working
>girl in the backseat is touching my chest from behind
>"youre really quiet *giggle* i can't wait to loosen you up a little tonight..." she winks
>im panicking now, social anxiety is setting in
>decide to show off a little, take some turns at high speeds
>"holy shit anon SLOW DOWN" stephen yells
>but the girls are liking it, laughing as they are thrown around the back seat.
>decide i'm going to cuck my roommate as the driver,
>but i need more time to show off my driving skills, and the trip is almost over
>"you wanna see somethin?"
>the girls are confused but too drunk to really respond affirmatively
>take the scenic route
>>70076943
>the girls get to the car and he wasn't lying, they were super hot. they were also super drunk already
>"wow stephen, you werent lying about him, he's a cute one"
>i begin to get a little nervous. my hands are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
>there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
>he's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
>to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'
>>70077055
>about 20 minutes later and it's pretty clear i've gotten us lost
>roommate is silently fuming
>"anon, where the fuck are we. we should've been there fifteen minutes ago"
>silent
>the girls are quiet now too
>the only sound is Tick of the Clock by Chromatics playing on repeat, over my police scanner, as it has for the entire trip
>...."you don't need to know the route"
>roommate is pissed and begins looking up directions on his phone
>one of the girls has to pee, she asks to pull over
>i say the five minutes line again, i didn't know what else to say
>my roommate by now has decided i am an autist
>girls step out of the car, roommate does too
>I stay in the car, but i hear them all laughing.
>I think they are probably laughing at me
>grip my steering wheel and floor it, tires screeching
>hear my roommate yell "WHAT THE FUCK ANON"
>go back to the dorm and begin filling out roommate transfer request
>>70077172
>i say the five minutes line again, i didn't know what else to say
jesus christ
well done anon. roastie sluts got what they deserved.
>be me
>22 year old virgin thanks to slight autism
>after watching Drive, I was inspired by how cool the Driver was even though he never talked
>decide I will become The Driver
>study everything about The Driver
>buy his clothes, his exact gloves, his watch (not a patek obviously), shoes even
>study his mannerisms, how long he holds his stare, when he smiles, etc…
>transfer to new school for my last year
>time to implement my new identity
>>70077604
>go to orientation
>wearing the outfit I call “Gosling’s Groceries” (denim pants, jacket, and Henley)
>I am the only senior there, they’re all freshmen
>but two QT freshmen girls are giggling and looking at me
>holy shit it’s working
>sneak closer to them during tour
>one of them turns around, sees me, buries her face in her hands and squeals
>her friend laughs and says “heeeyyyy boy, sorry about my friend here, she’s a little shy”
>HOLY SHIT
>they ask my name and major
>deliver a perfectly executed Driver stare while I pull a toothpick from my ear
>count to ten
>”anon”
>”Well anon we’re going to a party tonight, we’d LOVE it if you would come too *giggle*”
>my social anxiety is acting up, im not sure what to say, but I remember that silence is OK for me now
>count to ten
>”yeah. ok.”
>I offer to pick them up since I have a car on campus and they don’t
>>70077631
>later that night
>now wearing an outfit I call “Nightcall” (same as GG but with sunglasses, gloves, and white racing jacket)
>pull up outside girls dorm, call their phone
>they sound really drunk already
>”HEEYYYY ANOONNNN, WE’LL BE RIGHT DOWN!!!”
>the one that had a crush on me stumbles a little walking to my car
>at this point I know I’m getting laid
>decide I can’t fuck this up if I just stick to the script
>they get in the car
>the drunk one that likes me is sitting in the backseat, her friend is in the front
>”there are a hundred thousand streets in this city, I need to know the route”
>”Ok! It’s only a few miles away! Heres the address!”
>put my watch on the steering wheel
>start playing the Drive OST and pull out of the dorm
>>70077666
check the devils trips
>it’s not far to the party
>As we get closer, I begin to panic
>I have to impress these girls before we get to the party, im not so great in social settings
>my best chance to impress is in The Drivers’ natural element, the road
>”You girls wanna see somethin’?”
>”uhh… sure anon!”
>get onto the highway
>punch the accelerator, and the girls audibly gasp as they are slammed into their seats
>I’m weaving in between lanes, moving around cars, doing some really impressive driving
>at one point I get up to 100mph
>”slow down, anon, haha youre making me nervous!!!”
>I exit off the nearest ramp, knowing I have complete control over my vehicle
>”wow… that was great anon, really cool… please be safe though haha”
>i respond with silence, cause im not really sure what to say
>but I know that fear is a powerful aphrodisiac and I still feel good about my chances
>the girl in the back is a lot quieter now and put on her seatbelt
>>70076875
i missed this
Did that 70 million get bring back drive posting?
didn't read lmao
>>70077710
>after getting off the ramp I realize I don’t really know what part of town this is
>try to get back on the highway but miss the turn
>two turns later and I realize we are in a really bad part of town
>homeless people everywhere
>It’s a lot darker now and I can’t see shit through these sunglasses
>”uhhh anon… I think the party is back towards campus”
>….
>”yeah”
>at this point a homeless man knocked on the glass of my window and scared the shit out of me and the girls
>I freaked out and slammed on the gas
>this was a mistake, I had to make a turn very quickly
>the girls are screaming
>the last thing I remember is “YOU KEEP ME UNDER YOUR SPELL” playing at max volume
>wake up in an ambulance
>apparently I flipped the car
>the girls were ok but being treated for some not too serious injuries
>the worst part is the ambulance guy had to cut open my racing jacket and ruined it
>transferring schools again next semester
>still a virgin
I love these story memes.
>walk inside my local kinography store (AKA flickhut)
>wearing a pair of sunglasses glued to the top of my ears, in case I start sweating, along with
a pair of brown corduroy jeans and fingerless gloves
>toothpick firmly wedged in the corner of my mouth
>walk up to the counter
>Hello Sir!
>......
>.........
>............Greetings.
>w-would you like to buy a ticket Sir
>Single male for Dark Knight Rises, please
>Sir, it's 2014
>walk out of Motion Picture Mania and into the Blockbuster next door and rent out a copy of Dark Knight Rises, making sure to space out my steps to one every three seconds as I approach the counter
>inform the girl that my mouth is a little dirty, with a wink
>walk out of store backwards while maintaining eye contact at all times
>walk back inside flickhut next door, show the girl behind the counter my DVD and tell her to put this on Screen One right now
>"Sir, we'll have to charge you extra because it's a Single Male ticket, is this ok?"
>.....
>no
>pay extra anyway and go in
>theatre shooter was hiding behind a chair in wait for me, but upon seeing the movie playing on the screen he instantly jumps up and does the power stance
>I nod slowly with a slight grin
>we share some crabs legs together
>excess butter made my hands a little dirty
>when the motion picture's over, walk outside to the tune of Real Human Bean
I don't sleep
I don't eat
I do nothing but think of youuu
>>70077055
>decide i'm going to cuck my roommate as the driver
holy shit
>>70076907
Why did the driver put his watch on the steering wheel?
>>70077784
>transferring schools again next semester
>again
Its the small details that really make the story
>>70077172
>kavinsky-nightcall starts playing
>>70077511
>>70078511
>>70079492
New Figs
ITT: only hardcore autistics
>>70078367
I appreciated the little details in this one
capped this off a driver thread recently, had some keks
>>70077631
>my social anxiety is acting up, im not sure what to say, but I remember that silence is OK for me now
