Let's share anything interesting and discuss about it.
Almost finished the first draft of my fourth screenplay, but it feels like I'm limping across the finish line. The first three were practice, never even edited them completely, but I feel confident about the majority of this one, I just need to polish the very beginning and the very end. In my mind I'll finish the draft, start on a new one, then return to the first draft in a few weeks and start the editing process.
Also, I had the idea of printing out some of my favorite screenplays, marking them up, analyzing them closer, but Staples can't make money off of other people's work apparently, so I need to find a different way to get a few hundred pages printed.
>>70069514
TELL
>>70069514
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6uwaxNQt5HRRjFwOTVVYzROM1k
Gonna be filming this in June. I'm fucking hype to get it off the ground.
Tell me what's wrong with it. It's kinda supposed to be like a pilot short.
>>70069713
THAT
>>70069790
TO KANJIKLUB
>>70069514
I started to write a screenplay based on my life, but I realized I make a really unlikable protagonist. I think it could still work, but I'd have to be a supporting character to one of my much more likable friends.
>>70069843
Never write about yourself. Never.
>>70069875
Is that female supposed to be a joke?
someone post john core
>>70069930
This. It's always super biased, and it almost always comes off as whiny, due to you seeing things that others don't.
>>70069875
What program is this?
>>70070000
QUADS COMPEL YOU
>>70070013
Looks like Final Draft.
>>70069875
>Theys
I seriously hope this is a troll.
>>70069514
I'm in this online tv pilot writing class. It's really helped me improve my pilot and really flesh out the details, but there are some weird motherfuckers on there, though they are creative I'll give them that. Why does art always attract weird motherfuckers?
>>70070071
>Page 52
We can only pray.
>>70069875
>>70070100
Weird people tend to be the most creative, man. Can't create a masterpiece by making something that's already been done.
>>70069771
You can't just name a character Bill Wilson. Come on.
>>70069875
>passionately and emotionfullly
sounds like quite a kiss
>>70070177
>implying that wasn't intentional
Keep reading, there's another little easter egg in there for ya.
In the process of writing a low-budget horror. I want to get a few practice scripts done before I work on the ideas I really want to go somewhere, and maybe by next year I'll have something half-way decent.
What do you think, /tv/?
>>70069771
>Bill Wilson
>Jonas (wears a long purple coat and a strange mask).
>>70070280
>>70070290
There's a couple more plane scene references in there.
>>70070280
haven't seen this one in years
>>70070330
I catched "master plan" and Bill bringing friends
>>70070244
>is about to give them something to yell about
Minor kek
Technically improper formatting but kek all the same
>>70070409
Bingo.
Also
>catched
>have a good idea
>write 30 pages
>never touch again
>rinse and repeat
>>70070462
Fucking same
>>70070462
Start out by outlining it first. Then once the outline's done you have something to go by. You can do it motherfucker. I believe in you.
You know what the problem with Hollywood is. They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit. Now I'm not some grungy wannabe filmmaker, that's searching for existentialism through a haze of bong smoke or something (slight chuckle) No, it's easy to pick apart bad acting, short-sighted directing, and a purely moronic stringing together of words than many of studios term as prose. No, I'm talking about the lack of realism. Realism. Not a pervasive element in today's modern American cinematic vision. Take 'Dog Day Afternoon' for example. Arguably Pacino's best work, short of 'Scarface' and 'Godfather' part one of course. Masterpiece of directing, easily Lumet's best. The cinematography, the acting, the screenplay, all top notch. But they didn't push the envelope. Now what if in 'Dog Day,' Sonny really wanted to get away with it? What if - now here's the tricky part - what if he started killing hostages right away? No mercy, no quarter. "Meet our demands or the pretty blond in the bellbottoms gets it in the back of the head." Bam, splat! "What, still no bus?" Come on. How many innocent victims splattered across the window would it take to have the city to reverse it's policy on hostage situations? And this is 1976, there's no CNN, there's no CNBC, there's no Internet! Now, fast-forward to today. Present time, same situation. How quickly would the modern media make a frenzy over this? In a matter of hours, it would be the, the biggest story from Boston to Budapest. Ten hostages die. Twenty, thirty. Relentless, bam bim, one after another. All caught in hi-def, computer-enhanced, color-corrected. You can practically taste the brain-matter. All for what, a bus? A plane? A couple of million dollars that's federally insured? I don't think so. Just a thought. I mean, it's not within the realm of conventional cinema...but what if?
>>70070613
Fuck, where is this from?
>>70070613
*parp*
Bunp
>>70070660
It comes from Swordfish, a movie that ends with a bank heist in which a helicopter magically picks up a bus with magnets and flies away and John Travolta fakes his death with a clone of himself
Script I got 20 pages into before I got a girlfriend and two new jobs and all my creative spirit died
>>70070421
Shit, yeah. Thanks for pointing that out. First script, I've read it hundreds of times but I didn't even notice.
>>70070847
Uh...huh.
>>70070886
It wasn't awful, you can probably leave that in if you're directing.
Anyone have some good resources for beginning writers?
>>70071087
The movie "Adaptation".
>>70071087
WriterDuet (free online writing program):
https://writerduet.com/screencraft
Some decent vids:
https://www.youtube.com/user/filmcourage
Contests and consulting for when you get on your feet:
https://screencraft.org/screenwriting-contests/
>>70071087
Nothing. Professional advice is designed to eliminate future competition by raising generations of incompetents while a select few are chosen to receive true guidance.
>>70071209
It amazes me the fantasies people live in, especially on this website
>>70071202
Thanks. Looking to write a lot over the summer, this will help.
>>70071209
>>70071250
There's the apprentice, the family line, and the desperate masses. Guess which ones are chosen to be "talented." Get with the program. The system's rigged beyond the understanding of the people running it.
second draft/overhaul of a script I've been working on for a while.
i have trouble with dialogue, especially filler dialogue, i hope people liked the conversations in Ex Machina because that's what i aim for, i spend weeks in writing just 2 pages that i consider goodsometimes i envy Tarantino
>>70071459
Aight, so some quick general tips for formatting, because I'm bored.
>Don't tell the director what to do.
This is one of the biggest things people do in writing: they do it with all sorts of camera angles and shit. You need to realize that that is not your job, it's the director's, or editor's, or cinematographer's. Your job is to put words into character's mouths and an area where they can spit 'em out. There's some leeway if you're directing, but this is a general rule. To that end...
>no adverbs
Don't use things like "John speaks haltingly". That's indirectly telling the director what to do. Instead, use language that strongly implies it, like "John stuttered".
>no Flowery language
Keep in mind, your script is not the finished product. It is a framework, it is the movie's bones. Don't go off on tangents like "Joe's fist goes flying toward's John's face, connecting with a massive amount of force. One of John's teeth sails across the room." It's too pretty, too direct. Instead, be like "Joe punches John, and one of John's teeth flies out." Simple, direct, keeps the flow of the script intact.
Anyway, that's just thinfs I've learned. If you're directing it, you can just ignore all that and go full Tarantino/Shane Black on it, no one gives a fuck but you.
>>70071491
also, i do intend to direct this myself -- possibly also with my friend/writing partner who i;ve worked with on other projects.
>>70071528
>>70071557
>>70071557
JESUS man, CAPITALIZING every other WORD defeats the PURPOSE of ALL-CAPS in SCREENWRITING. It is a GOOD thing that you want to DIRECT this YOURSELF because no one else would TOUCH IT.
>>70071590
this is all I've got so far. Basically after this point:
- cheeseburger meets and is seduced by a 15 y.o. runaway prostitute named Mylene
- she is using him to escape from her unhinged, trailer park meth kingpin father
- she convinces cheeseburger to take revenge on his bullies as a way to train him to murder her father for her
it's a work in progress
>>70071627
i should note that I wrote all of this while fairly drunk (not an excuse for the subversive content or anything), so i tended to over-emphasize some stuff. i'll make a note for my next draft.
Little intro I've been toying with
>>70071693
Sounds like a fucking wild ride of a script.
Writing's not horrible, but like I said here: >>70071497, trim it so it's simpler. Just a barebones thing.
Again if you're directing it I'll fuck off.
>>70071864
yeah, i made sure to distinguish that I was indeed intending on directing because I saw your post. Great post too, btw.
>>70071754
Sounds like the script would be about writing self-insert fanfiction, which to be fair could be absolutely hilarious if done right.
Bros I lost final cut and can't gey it back is there another program thay can read my final cut files
>>70071901
Hey thanks.
>>70071693
fuck it, here's another (finished) script I wrote with my friend/writing partner. we're in pre-production currently -- storyboarding, accumulating a budget and gear, etc.
still interested in /swg/ feedback tho
>>70071984
Intercuts!
>>70071984
This! vvv
>>70072007
>>70071754
lmao
>>70071984
Holy shit, I remember you.
You've posted this before, people fucking raved about it.
>>70071984
>>70072007
Should I be denoting the intercuts in the script instead of the standard CUT TO?
>>70072051
>>70072049
oh nice
>people fucking raved about it.
i only remember one person approving of it desu, but I probably dipped out of the thread before i saw all the replies, sadly
>>70072092
i have 3 more screenshots of this script that i will post in a bit, gotta drive home from class now
>>70072134
Look forward to it.
This is the longest a screenwriting thread has lasted in weeks. Good job, /tv/.
>>70072540
I remember when these would reach bump limit.
Those were the days...
>>70072134
i'm back
>>70073260
hope this thread isn't kill. y'all have been the highlight of my day so far.
>>70073297
alright, here's the last bit.
>>70073383
Thanks for the reading. I'm starting to write some pieces to myself and it's really good to analyze how to properly tell a story with more actions and less exposition.
>>70073297
>stabs
Oh shit, didn't see that coming. Good stuff.
>>70073503
>>70073672
cheers, dudes. i have to give a shit-ton of credit to my writing partner. He really made this the best it could be, imo
>>70071754
>>70072046
my fucking sides
How do I finally kill myself
All I'm going to say is that none of you should be writer or at least take a fucking class first.
Jesus Christ.
>>70076493
let's see what you're capable of writing, m8
>>70076493
fuck off max. you little nepotistic shit-head
I'm writing screenplay about girl who realizes she is in a movie but doesn't tell anybody, so audiance doesn't know, and the whole movie she fucks with director.. like goes out of frame or wears non camera frendly cloths and shit like that.
It's meta cmmentary on whole medium. Fuck you guys
>>70076722
don't worry little buddy, you'll be seeing it on tv in october
I want a shitty screenwriting job. Where can I get one? I'll read scripts for fucking peanuts. Just let me do it.
Why can't we all come together to make movie?
>>70077898
Because it'd be shit you fucking autist.
>>70076975
>lying on the internet
>>70076975
yeah, i'll bet
>>70077596
bumming for this
>>70070878
>Walter
>Jessie
This sound quite familiar tea bee queue ache
>>70077898
supposing we could organize that, the vast majority of posters would not be involved. the actual talent would be able to see who's capable of contributing and who isn't
Rate...p-please
How do you write fighting scenes?
>>70080574
I liked it but I didn't find jack believable. psycho chick he dated 3 years ago breaks into his home and cries on his bathroom floor and he agrees to get drinks with her? wtf? cool idea though anon
For someone who wants to get into filmmaking is writing screenplays really the best starting point?
...At that point, the HEAVY METAL MUSIC EXPLODES OVER THE SOUNDTRACK...IN TIME WITH "Nig Killer" EXPLODING INTO A VIOLENT KILLING MACHINE ON SCREEN.
As he matches skill with the army of black children, arms flailing, silver blade Clashing and Slashing, his long black hair whipping like a whirling dervish....
...He's a God of War.
Not only is the FIGHT CUT TO THE HEAVY METAL MUSIC, but Nig Killer seems to be somewhat dancing to it as he fights.
Many members of youth gang are Sliced, Slashed, and liberated from the limbs they were born with at Nig Killers blade.
>Some SPECIFIC MOMENTS
While Clashing swords, Nig Killer whips the silver ninja star out of its holster, and Throws it...
....It Twirls Through the Air...
...Embedding itself in one of the boy's faces.
Nig Killer does a Mid-Air Somersault over the head of an Attacker, landing solid on her feet behind him
...Slash - he's Out.
Nig Killer is knocked to the floor, her Attacker stands over her to Spear the him, his Legs Spring Up In The Air,
Ankles Lock Around The Boy's Neck.
he throws him down to the ground. With his neck still in the vise-like grip of his ankles, He removes The SOG Knife from its sheath and Plunges it Deep Into The Boy's Chest.
While still on the ground, an Attacker Charges at him. Yanking the Ninja Star out of the Dead Boy's Face, He Sends It Flying in the Charging Man's path...
...Ninja Star, Twirling Through the Air Close to the Ground...
...Chopping Off the Charging Attacker's Foot in Mid Step, he falls flat.
Nig Killer jumps up onto an attacker's shoulders. He locks her legs around him so he's helpless at shaking him off.
...He swings down with His sword, and cuts the man's hands
off.
>>70080969
meant for >>70080613
>>70080969
is this you?
>>70080877
Its the ending.
But basically Jack doesnt believe Sarah actually ate a virgin (Jesse). But she did (she believes it keeps her looking young and beautiful)
>>70080969
>>70080969
the edge
>>70080969
literally this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGbE0L2zWbc
>>70070878
>Umm. Shit.
>tfw I started writing a Justice League script a year but am too scared to share it now
>>70081464
cant be worse than this>>70080969
also youre anonymous so...
>>70081506
>>70081232
>>70081180
>>70081034
>Implying you can write action any better
>>70081506
http://pastebin.com/V40vGNjs
>>70081587
>“Defence Secretary calls Aquaman ‘Threat to U.S.’”
lol why?
>>70081294
>you will never be this alpha
>>70081653
Just wanted something that would sound political and edgy for the headline
>>70081700
ok but why aquaman be a threat
>>70081721
Can't remember. Think I literally picked him at random
>>70081770
dont change it. its hilarious
EXT/INT. BLACK
ZOOM IN CAMERA
ZOOM OUT CAMERA
End scene
whaddya guys think?
What do you guys think? http://pastebin.com/wVgTBWjw
>>70081916
>Three Hooded Men guarded by East European Militia.
>A third Militia drives.
Come on, son
Geez, this thread just went atraight off the rails after I fell asleep.
>>70077596
buming again
>>70083116
>people posting there scripts
>off the rails
wat.
>>70083326
I think he meant in a good way.
>>70080458
I never even noticed that because jessie is a minor character and a girl but yeah, I really should have realized when I screencapped that page
>>70080458
>ache
Thats not how you spell aitch
>>70083326
Not in a bad way, but there's a lot more scripts here and a lot more arguing.
I like it.
any tips for my post-apocalyptic time travel movie?
>>70086185
Don't write about post-apocalyptic time travel
>people on this anime forum think they are actually capable of writing a movie
JDIMSA
I had a very, very basic idea for that scene where Batman and Superman are talking at Zuckerberg's party
>Gotham is in the middle of a recession
>hard-working, honest people have felt the effects of this while the rich still hold their extravagant events and live their lavish lifestyles
>those men and women affected by the recession the most are desperate, and some of them resort to thievery or crime to make ends meet
>Batman has become ruthless and full of bloodlust, and sees no difference between a common thief and a dangerous psychopath
>he brands and beats even once-businessmen
>Superman has a problem with this
I just gave Superman actual motivation
>>70086590
Why would Superman care about Gotham citizens?
>>70086769
Superman cares for all life. I think there was variation where he was a vegetarian.
>>70086185
Yeah, don't write it.in all honesty you haven't given us anything specific to work with here so we can't tell you anything of value.
Working on 80's cheesy ninja movie.
It will be ready soon.
Got some contacts who are interested to see it.
Wish me luck!
>>70069790
TO THE DEAD
>>70071397
lmao okay virgin retard
>>70080969
Are you even supposed to write fight scenes out like that?? I'd think it be more easier to just write "they fight", and then let the director do the rest
>>70086185
Give it to people that actually care about the books DABID
we need to make some kind of screenwriting forum, it'll be more useful
>>70070114
what anime is this?
>>70089853
realistic anime
>>70069875
I hope for your sake this is a joke
>>70088465
Better make it fast before this retarded Kung Fury/Turbo Kid wave passes
>>70086185
Going back in time to prevent the apocalypse?
Possibly failing and trying again, giving the whole world a Majora's Mask-like sense of impending doom?
Maybe ending with accepting that the apocalypse can't be averted and looking to the future instead of the past for something better?
>>70069771
Could I get some critique on this
What do you guys think of my newest script? It's based off an original property but I think it's pretty good otherwise.
>>70090475
Sure, don't name your characters Bill Wilson.
>>70090710
the dialogue is pretty bad desu.
>>70090912
Alright fine, fuck you too.
>>70091303
>>70091445
I guess I should know my memes better.
>>70069771
>ADAM (20's, blond, slightly pudgy with glasses and a beard)
>PAUL (20's, brown-haired, skinny, wearing a makeshift gag)
>RYAN (20's, brown hair, bigger than Adam, short beard)
No apostrophe on ages. This sort of cut-and-dried description is actually too long for what it says, and repetitive. The point of a description is to give an impression of a character. You pick the details that best encapsulate and distinguish the character, and work them into the action.
Chinatown
>Gittes notes it. A fan whiffs overhead. Gittes glances up at it. He looks cool and brisk in a white linen suit despite the heat.
The Big Easy
>Remy is a marked contrast to the other detectives on the crime scene with their beer bellies and sloppy suits; Remy is trim, very fit, carefully barbered and -- even at this hour -- very expensively dressed. He's a dude.
You can even do the list of traits, but don't make it bland and factual in the name of simplicity and brevity, because in reality you'll just be clogging up the script with boring items. Make it entertaining:
Network
>CAMERA MOVES IN to isolate HOWARD BEALE, who is everything an anchorman should be -- 58 years old, silver-haired, magisterial, dignified to the point of divinity. NARRATION continues OVER --
The camera isolates Beale - silver-haired, magisterial - dignified to the point of divinity; his introduction alone is a microcosm of his entire story, his manipulation by the news organization and packaging as a preacher, and are appealing besides. The descriptions you gave don't say anything about the characters, and are inelegant anyway, so it's just unnecessary text.
>>70091861
Two last things...
One, Bill and Jonas sound the same, and Paul doesn't stand out much either. Two, the Paul character is a bit off. He's reacting very much like a character in a movie that's going to be using superpowers and working for this mob guy, not like a receptionist that's been kidnapped. Why would he say he's "not even a good" receptionist? And for someone who's being coerced into being a mercenary under threat of torture, "got it" is a pretty amicable response.
>>70070462
Setting up is easy. Act 2 is where you have to make yourself stick to it.
>>70091861
>>70091892
Cool cool, thanks for the feedback.
I've come to realize I'm pretty shit at writing dialogue, but especially like panicked dialogue. Couldn't figure out a better response for Paul to say, something that could really demonstrate the hopelessness of the situation, so I just made it sort of simple.
I think some mofo I shared my script with is stealing it. What do?
>>70077596
http://www.networkisa.org/writing-gigs.php
This is a job board where you can look for possible screenwriting jobs. Lots of it comes from film students and indie developers, but you could get started here if you think you're ready.
>>70093913
>>70092546
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>>70092000
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>>70080896
If writing screenplays is what you want to really get in to. If you just want to be a crew member/camera just volunteer on some indie sets and build up a portfolio. Director/producer you can really go either way.
>>70069875
>Ben grabs Caroline's face
Jesus christ straight into the ultraviolence
>>70093938
you must really care about screenwriting if you would go to these lengths
good luck, anon
