Black stormtroopers cause first order steal kids from families instead of clones
BB8 for some reason has part of a map to Luke.
Kylo Ren is the son of Leia and Han and wants to finish his grandfather's work.
Rey, poe, Han go to some bar owned by a old alien new bitch. For some reason she has Luke's old lightsaber and won't explain why. Rey touches it and she has force visions of the rest of the film.
She gets taken and interrogated by Kylo Ren where she beats him with the force and escapes. A first time user, untrained kek.
Han and gang mount a rescue after planning with leia and ackbar and other characters no one cares about.
BB8 rolls up to dusty R2 and C3P0 explains he's been in low power mode since Luke left and is doubtful he has the rest of the map.
Han confronts Kylo, father son and tells him snoke is using him. Kylo coaxed him into a snafu and kills him.
Starkiller is destroyed by rebels and poe, Rey and Kylo fight it out. Poe gets wrecked. Rey wins after Kylo offers to train her but then the ground separates and both escape. Chewie saves Rey and poe on Falcon.
R2 decides he wants to wake up now and shows the map. Rey and Chewie go to Luke on a Jedi temple island and Rey offers him his lightsaber. The end
All in all, was a 6/10 flick at best. Editing was shit, so many dodgy cuts. Predictable as fuck. Some dodgy CGI aliens. Characters you don't care about and old characters only for muh nostalgia.
>She gets taken and interrogated by Kylo Ren where she beats him with the force and escapes.
I knew they'd make her a shitty mary sue
one of the good things about the OT is that luke gets absolutely BTFO by experienced force users
Is Mel Brooks supposed to be funny?
How does /tv/ justify piracy?
What /tv/ think of this ?
So which franchise will he ruin next?
He's already rekt Mission: Impossible, Star Trek and now Star Wars, hopefully he'll destroy some Marvel capeshit.
Mission: Impossible is as generic action as you can get, there was nothing to ruin. He made Star Trek watchable, The prequels exist and literally over half of the MCU is terrible.
Fuck you and fuck your thread
Is anyone really surprised that SW:FA turned out to be copycat material? Let's take a look at J.J. Abrams' notable career projects:
A show that's literally about nothing except hyping the next episode, and then the next season, by pretending that something might happen. Abrams is incapable of creating a story on his own.
Movies built on someone else's IP that constantly "nod" to the original material so that people don't forget that it's Star Trek.
>Star Trek: Into Darkness
Literally a copied storied so poorly executed that Abrams had to throw in a time/dimension traveling Spock to explain what the fuck is going on to all the people who didn't watch the show.
He's a hack who can't create anything original.
Tonight, in 3 hours, I will be watching Episode VII.
And I will spoil it in front of 250 people.
Watch this space.
Itt: we create the perfect movie theater
I'd have each individual chair have its own hot butter and salt dispenser attached to the arm rest. Then you can add butter to the popcorn as you eat instead of it running out half way down the bucket
As there are still no Asians in a galaxy far, far away and Boyega had to ride in the rear end of the bus in China, Korea and Japan will his compatriots make up for the loss of revenue? It seems they have a booming film industry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyfEVphpYKU
>turns out to be pretty 'meh'
>turns out to be a near identical rehash of New Hope
What is up with critics being a lot less harsh these days?
the whole entertainment industry is owned by 5 companies and movies only have a couple of weeks to make 90% of their box office so reviewers are both powerless and super-important for keeping the hype going.
name one fucking film that is better than Star Wars The Force Awakens
oh wait you can't
SNOKE SNOKE SNOKE
STOP HATING THE PREQUELS
DON'T LISTEN TO DARTH MEDIA
Do you want to see how deep this rabbit hole goes?