Imagine being Owen, you settle down into a life a mediocrity, squeezing water out of rocks for a living, a piglet of a gf, still living with your fucking parents.
The one day this God of a man comes down from the sky on a gleaming silver starship, a jedi knight, ex-podracing champion, with gorgeous royalty wrapped around his arm. He is better than you in every conceivable way.
Your first words to this Adonis? "Your mom is dead because I'm too much of a little bitch to protect my home".
Frankly if I was Owen I would have offed myself that very night.
why didn't they just evacuate the planet?
WE DID IT
WE FINALLY DID IT REDDIT
Hey! Adam Conover here, and today I'm going to be ruining...
Why didn't Sheev just blow up Coruscant with the Death Star?
Well he had a sort of imperial palace there filled with Jedi and Sith relics that obviously couldn't be replaced.
Other than that, I have no idea.
It might have made the rebellion seem like a safer bet if he did something as nutty as that, even though the empire blew up Alderaan.
This is literally the most unoriginal thing in the movie
What the fuck is this
he literally spends half of each episode advocating for open borders and accepting immigrants and refugees
He plays devil's advocate more often than not and does not inject his own politics into discussions too frequently.
You don't watch it. I can tell. You're just a butthurt mememaster.
Which edge lord is the better fallen student?
>Watching Star Wars in an American theater
>theater ERUPTS IN APPLAUSE
>A Long Time Ago...
>Audience claps for the entire 2.5 hour movie
is your falcon clap trained? my falcon would probably end up going nuts if that happened. after about 5 minutes of clapping he starts getting nervous and i have to feed him crab legs.
Lifelong Star Wars Fan. Here's my review
Well made on a technical and general film-making level, but frankly rushed and uninspired
So much of what made the originals great was in the sense of mystery, discovery, and a greater universe beyond the movie it invoked. Jar Jar Abrams' Star-Wars Trek never took the time to become its own movie, and in this rush left a myriad of plot holes and disappointment in its wake.
It's true, Rey is an invincible Mary Sue whose only flaw is an inability to handle inexplicable flashbacks. She pilots the falcon, defeats Kylo Ren, and uses nearly every notable force power flawlessly on the first try. She literally beats him by closing her eyes for 10 seconds and thinking about the force, like it hadn't occurred to her before. She's somewhat interesting, cute, and quirky scene by scene, but ultimately throws any hope for a real character arc out the window.
Finn: Not too interesting, but not too bad either. However, he again begins as a morally perfect character "it's the right thing to do" and for the rest of the movie acts as canvas for uninteresting adolescents to cast their personalities on, not standing out much except for a few lines
Han: Literally the only good character. It was a mistake to kill him.
Poe: Interesting and fun, but sadly not fleshed out enough in favor of the affirmative action clan. Hopefully will get more time in the future movies.
Kylo Ren: Plays a pathetic villain well, but remains unmeaning enough for every fight against him to lose all tension. Obviously wants to fuck his cousin. We'll probably see him die or finish a redemption ark by Episode 9.
Other characters: Hux actually made his scenes interesting, Phasma wasted space, and everyone else didn't matter.
-Safely made formulaic plot taken from ANH and injected/recycled with elements of the other films
-Turned "Disney-esque", made even more tame and for children than the Original Trilogy from FOX
-Villain is like a whiny and edgy emo teenager with daddy issues, "But dad, I want to rebel! Why can't I be on the dark side?! All the cool kids are doing it!"
-Music is surprisingly forgettable and for a sequel to the Original Trilogy, lacks many of the themes from it
-Politically correct characters inserted everywhere. Strong independent womyn know everything (Rey), are leaders (it's not Princess Leia, it's General Leia), but the men don't.
-The space battles and land battles are surprisingly lame/less fun and weaker than the Original Trilogy, a trilogy that this flick is so nostalgic on
-Han Solo and Chewy are given a shitty reveal without any momentum building. They just walk in and we're just supposed to clap.
-Scenes drag on and meander
-Important plot elements are not explained, wtf JJ?
-Luke is only 30 seconds in, his wtf facial expression mirrors ours, seriously, wtf?
Why do you people like this?
It's a mix of good and shit basically
Rey is the most PC feminist-pandering character ever.
Story wise, it's a rehash of A New Hope + the "father/son confrontation on a dramatic bridge over a huge drop" scene from Empire.
Absolutely incredible visual style.
Bits of light humor work really well.
Some satisfying light saber fights.
I just walked away feeling like the film was well-made technically but that I hated everything it represents.
kylo was literally lord helmet
Oh man, I wish there was a Spaceballs part two.
>May the schwartz be with you!