Sup /trv/
Frequent poster here with a dilemma I thought a few of you guys might be able to relate to/advise me on.
I'm a Britbong travelling for his second time, currently in Okinawa. I spent my first three days with a girl from Singapore I met last time I was in Japan who now is thinking about getting into a long distance relationship with me. I can think of a lot of reasons why this wouldn't work, but I still want this to happen.
>TL;DR
Experiences dating people you met whilst travelling/ are now in a long distance relationship with
>>939787
I dated an Indian girl for around two years. Sometimes I'd go and visit her and sometimes she'd come and visit me. Needless to say, the only time our relationship was particularly easy was when we were actually together. I mean, we shared a lot of special memories and I learned a lot about her culture, but I don't know if I'd want to go through the same stress again unless I saw a definite future with the woman. When we were dating, neither of us had finished undergrad and she wasn't sure whether or not she'd even be accepted to a university near me. That sort of thing doesn't help you sleep easy at night.
I never worried about her cheating, though, which was nice. The constant drama was just a pain in the ass, as was having to deal with her normal "girl problems" on a ten-and-a-half hour time difference.
OP, it's possible and you can do it - but don't expect it to be easy without quickly making future plans. Uncertainty is what kills long-distance relationships. You need to be able to trust her fully, like I did, but, unlike me, also know that you two are going to wind up living closer together in the future. Because eventually one of you is going to snap after a year or two goes by and you're still as far away from one another as when you began.
>>939787
it won't work
the natural rules of human interaction make this foregone
>>939787
It can work. Military cats do it all the time. There are thousands of people on Okinawa with you right now in long distance relationships. It can work. How stressful it is depends on your own personality.
It can be made to work. However, I've always viewed LDRs as an example of the "emotional extremism" relationships can lead to, as it's a wholly unnatural and unhealthy type of relationship to maintain.
Also, while you did mentioned travel, the topic at hand has fuck all to do with travel and this thread belongs on /adv/.
>>939787
Facebook and the internet are the worst and best part of traveling. 99% of the people you meet are better people when you have a superficial one-3 week with them. You're almost always disappointed by them if you try to keep it up after that.
But then there is that 1% of the time that because of that you continue you talking and it becomes something real.
I think this shit is incredibly rare and almost always a disappointment. Nearly all of the people I've met while traveling I've regretted friending on facebook.
But I'm married to a girl I met while traveling.
>>939877
Except military couples have the highest divorce rates. Living long distance just doesn't work after a couple of months.
>>939902
Military divorce rate 3.7% Civilian is 3.5%, from a far larger sample at taht. Try again. And the service with the most separations, the NAvy, has the lowest rate at 3.6%
http://www.edivorcestatistics.com/military.html
>>939787
Also,a s your girl is form SG, peopel in Asia maintain long distance relationships all the time, even within a country, due to one partner traveling for work, while the other stays behind.
>>939787
Best part about LDR is that you still get to fuck other people, as long as you don't knock someone up.
>>939909
Did you read the article? Civilian rates are dropping and military rates are rising. Plus this doesn't take into account separation which is huge in the military. Because the wife gets to keep benefits and the husband gets higher hazard pay and bha. Many couples do this.
Had a friend just get married to a Philipino girl he met while traveling. It was an off and on relationship, and that guy was a bad ass TEFL teacher always living in Asia or South America. Looks like he's gonna be moving back home to the states eh? heh heh heh, filipinas...
>>939787
I have had a long distance relationship for a little over 5 years now. It's difficult, and I skype with her daily for at least 2-4 hours. We dont have any doubts we want to be with one another however, and we have a lot of fun too.
>>939928
5 years? Why not propose and live together if your so sure? Seems like your wasting a lot of time that could be spent together. Life's short man.
>>939929
I was very young when I met her. I will be moving closer to her this year and then we'll start putting our lives together financially.. The hardest part is that we are both getting to uni about now and I'm trying to get accepted near her. If I'm not I'll do something crazy like trying to find a shitty work around her and forget my academics. Love, man...
>>939929
this.
one of you needs to /trv/el to the other and start a real life together. life is really short, man.
>>939934
you're in HS?
forget it man. she will move on within a few weeks of starting college and so will you. pick a school that you actually want to go to.
>>939936
finished hs last year. im pretty sure she wont. 5 years is long and i know her well enough. plus i am picking a midterm thing. if things dont work out ill probably be in a good university nonetheless.
>>939938
Just a warning man. People change most from ages 18-25. That's why relationships formed as teenagers don't really last. Don't throw away your education.
>>939925
Yes but why are they rising? Due to combat related issues. That's why the Navy is the lowest because they see the least combat. And the civilian divorce rare is declining is because less civilians are getting married. Especially in the demographics most prone to divorce.
>>939942
I know what you mean... I just want to be optimistic really, I know exactly what I'm walking into but such is life, right?
>>939927
Bad ass TEFL lmao
bruh get out of here , TEFL teachers are always losers who desperatly want to meet some girl from some poor/asian country because women in their home countries know they are worthless
>>939965
I wouldn't say all of them can't get women in their home country. But all of them are losers because they're avoiding real life back home.
>>939966
Actually yeah you're right.
>>939947
There's nothing wrong with not going to college. There's everything wrong with not going to college over a girl.
I was dating someone I met traveling and we were in the same place for two months. We decided to break it off when I had to head home to resume school. The main reason was because we didn't know when we'd be in the same place again due to visa issues/money. We still maintain frequent and plentiful contact, but we've agreed to let each other see other people, because if something springs up organically irl it's kind of silly to hold back because you've promised to someday be with your LDR partner.
Luckily I'm graduating this April, I've secured a job in the same town as my LDR partner and visa issues have been smoothed out, so we're resuming our relationship when I return. I think the trick is to not care what the other person has been doing romantically in the meantime.
>>939965
I may go abroad to be a TEFL teacher, just as a second career and because it's an easy way to live abroad. Or I might stay in my field of logistics, but it's harder to neck down a specific country for an extended period of tieme. May do regular teaching at an international school or university as well.
>>939992
This. The secret to a LDR lasting is not limit yourself to someone thousands of mile away and don't worry about who she is fucking either.
I've got a friend who wen TEFL because he was having a shit time of things in the States and he wound up becoming an Asst. Professor at Sejong University and is currently on a semi-sabbatical, motorcycling across SEA and mentoring other long-term TEFL candidates. So some people can actually become non-losers that way.
OP here, thanks for all the advice guys, but we've decided to break it off. Simply don't know when we'll see each other again, highly unlikely we'll be living together until at least four years time.
>Downside of travelling;
meeting the right person in the wrong place at the wrong time.
>>939966
Why not avoid "real life". Work in a supermarket for shit pay in your home country or teach English in a tropical paradise for the same pay which will stretch much further.
OP, one of you has to be willing to move. And the one who moves can't be bitter or counting score like, "I fucking moved here for you, and now blah blah blah".
I've met a lot of keepers traveling, but I've never gone back with a chick. After 3 years, I met someone worth going back for. She's saving up and we're gonna travel together before we try living somewhere for a bit. We've spent more time apart than we have together, so it's either we make it work or we don't.
But it also helps that we're sort of in a open relationship. We both hook up with other people when we're not together...and that helps a bit.
To be honest, it is work. The cultural difference always keeps things fascinating, but there are always things that come up because of it. I'm a bit luckier because her English is great and we both come from 1st world countries (I'm Canadian and she's Swedish).
Honestly, I'd rather do something and have it end horribly then wonder for the rest of my life if I made the right decision.
Good luck, OP.
>>939994
you're a pussy if you are in a 'relationship' with a woman who is fucking other men
jesus christ, what fucking hole do you faggots crawl out from?
Why be in a relationship at all? I am good friends with someone who I ended up fucking with whilst travelling, saw her a few months later and we fucked. We're very good friends, and if she isn't in a relationship, we'll fuck again when we're close to one another. In the meantime I fuck other girls.
>>939934
LOL! You'll see the error of your ways in a few months
>>940164
I'm not saying to go let her fuck other man. I'm saying don't stress about whether she is or not because you can't control. Insecurity is death to a ldr.
Friend of mine was travelling in China some time ago, and started meeting a lot of girls through Tinder and such. Discovered he was getting along very well with one in particular, and continued talking to her after returning to the US. Some time after they decided to officially become exclusive. He's visited her in China again recently, and she's soon to move back to the US as well, at which point they plan to live together.
One thing my friend kept telling me about why he maintained contact with her and none of the other girls he met was that she would eventually end up back in the US, which made it realistic for them to pursue a traditional relationship...
>>939966
>But all of them are losers because they're avoiding real life back home.
why are you even on /trv/? lel what kind of attitude is that? you talk like a faggot
>>939965
bad ass meaning traveling everywhere all the time, living in asia teaching qt3.14's all day. he's my friend so everything else in your post automatically doesn't apply to him.
>>939787
(I know OP already called it off, but I suppose others might still be interested)
I'm Dutch and have a long distance relationship with a Spanish girl. So far it seems to work out, but as other people pointed out, it's easiest while you're together. While I'm the type of guy who doesn't really mind to be apart for longer timespans, it's mostly hard on her.
Good thing is that it's pretty easy to visit since we're both in Schengen/Europe, so we can plan it pretty quickly and it doesn't cost too much.
It is annoying that you can't really solve her problems while you're apart and often drama ensues just because of some silly misinterpretation or something like that.
But hey, if it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. So far it does. That's life. So it goes.
>>940141
Are you keeping in contact?
I'm in a LDR, of which I didn't meet while vacationing, but working abroad, doing the expat thing. I left in October and it's been fine thus far. I'm supposed to be visiting in April. Not sure the next time I visit after that
