I am a girl from Canada. A week ago, I realised that I was selected for a three-week exchange trip to Germany. I have an online friend whom I've been talking to for more than 2 years and he lives very close to Munich. My uni does not offer any exchange opportunities to Munich so I picked Berlin , but I plan to stay behind and travel to Munich and other German cities later on.
My parents are thinking about joining me after visiting Berlin. I think it is awkward if they come along when meeting an online friend. I don't have any German friends irl, so I cannot lie about how I know him irl. I can't even lie about how I met him as an exchange student at my uni in Canada. My dad went to the same uni as me and he can easily tell that I am lying if he sees my online friend irl and my online friend cannot describe my uni. My parents had a "no talking to people" rule when I was a kid.
What should I do to make this less awkward? Also, it is dangerous for me to do this? Should I not meet him at all?
You're asking this on 4chan; I hope you know what kind of response to expect.
I'm sure you have a decent gauge of the dude's character after two years. But ooh, yeah, it's a sticky situation. My two cents is that truth is always the best policy.
Or if you lie you could say "remember when my friend X spent a year abroad in Germany? You don't? Well while she was there she met this really nice guy and she's asked him to show me around the place..."
>>1094734
hey bavarian guy here
I live about 1 hour from munich
whats his hometown called?
meet him public so you are safe and you can assess him better
>>1094734
>My uni does not offer any exchange opportunities to Munich so I picked Berlin
Semesters abroad should be something you could get from any uni in your country and be applicable to your degree wouldn't it? Check that out too.
I grew up on IRC in tech channels, and have a seriously close set of friends numbering in the dozens still over 20 years later. I felt that it would be awkward too to have online friends meet family like they weren't "real friends" or whatever prejudices your parents might have about the validity of forums, online communities, or stranger-danger online. I suggest you either divide your time between family and friend entirely like your first 2 days with him, and they fly in a couple days later, at which point you're either not simpatico/sick of this other person, or you adequately know each other well enough in person to mix with parents for PART of the day. Realize that this isn't the best time to be sleeping with someone, sharing a room or something else amoral if you want to do this right. In the meantime, having a friend to speak a language with, or considering the whole world your dating pool, isn't ridiculous of you, the only immature thing you can do is ignore common sense about caution, being too close too fast relationshipwise, lying/hiding behaviors, or whatever you think your parents would truly disapprove of illustrating your shit for brains.
I would also suggest anyone dying to meet their online friend would train it over in the 3 weeks you'll be in a neighboring city, and spend a half day with you doing the touristed sights in Berlin.
>>1094750
I want to add that in the 20 years of "first meeting" of my various tech friends, we've all seen it other every couple of years, some now work together at companies, startups, universities, offering favors when some jobs pass on, or new starts are had. It's been very much like the purpose of linkedin, or another business network. One day, that thread you have in common with the people you meet online isn't barely different from the way your parents or grandparents networked.
With professional conventions, like defcon or apple's WWDC, or favorite author book signings, fan stuff like cons, weddings of mutual friends...whatever the reason I've met people offline, I can count on one hand how many were crazynutjobs, out of the 100 or so I've met. That's the same percentage as the way of life. If this online friend is from a dating sight, probably that goes up higher, but as a youth, your radar is a matter of instinct about people you choose in a mate. Having that first psych101 class, and understanding signs of people, or staying close to your religion so you can listen to silent gut warnings about folks, helps too. But, each time you do meet a new person, you gain experience. I wouldn't avoid this guy altogether, but don't be pushed around into meeting in a you-shouldn't-be-so-cautious suggestion from him. Hear bells at anything that doesn't scream respect to your necessary educated caution, k, you figure out really quick if this person is made of quality or deserving of trust or respects you?
A great book any girl should read about avoiding being a victim (of any crime) is The Gift of Fear by behavior predictor Gavin DeBecker. This is the expert presidents and celebrities consult with to know if threats are credible. Good stuff to know and is stalker/unhinged 101.
>>1094734
I have had a similiar experience to this.
>Be 15 year old me
>Have no social skills, have a big group of friends and acquaintances at school, but was very hard for me to talk to anyone else outside that group (in the group we were all 14-16 year old guys who liked video games, rock music and soccer)
>Naturally inquisitive about the world
>Decide to go online to speak to new people
>Meet a 15 year old American girl, who lives in LA.
>At first don't speak very often
>But then we start to speak more often, to the point we were speaking every day and became good friends
>Fast forward to when I was 17. Been friends with above girl for two years now. (I'm still a sperg lord though at that point)
>My parents are going on a trip around California, ask me if I want to come, I say yes.
>One of the stops on the trip is LA
>I tell the girl I'm visiting, naturally we want to meet in person
> I knew my parents would freak out if I was going to meet someone from the internet (they would think it was some 50 year old serial killer).
>LA was on the 9th day of the 14th day trip.
>So what I do is I go outside for a walk by myself (with my parent's permission) on the 3rd day of the trip, my parents stay in the hotel
> I come back and say, oh I met this girl, she is from LA, she said she will show me around when I am there.
>Ask parents if I can go on my own, they say sure.
>So I go do my own thing for the day we were in LA with that girl and her family, and my parents do their own thing somewhere else, we meet back at the hotel at night.
>The girl's family were pretty cool, they knew about me and didn't have any problems with me meeting her, we actually all ate dinner together.
>tfw I was driving around hollywood in a convertible BMW top down when my parents were stuck on some tourist trail
I feel kinda bad for liying to my parents, but I knew they were never going to understand, even if I told them I had seen this girl on webcam a million times. (Cont'd)
>>1094755
(Cont'd)
So anyway, taking my story as a guideline, why don't you just tell your parents that you met this guy in Berlin? They will be none the wiser, as long as you both have your stories straight. Why doesn't he come visit you in Berlin, so you can spend some time together before your parents come?
>Also, it is dangerous for me to do this? Should I not meet him at all?
I think it is reasonably dangerous, even though I have done it myself. Its more dangerous for you because you are girl, in a foriegn country. I am a guy, so its safer.
Is the guy of Turk origin by any chance?
>>1094744
He's from a shitty area full of weed, but don't worry, I will not visit his place (nothing to do there lol) and he doesn't smoke weed
>>1094750
Do you know how far away Munich and Berlin are from each other? My online friend will not go to Munich just to say hi.
>>1094755
>mfw I really met a pen pal in that manner when travelling abroad
>>1094758
He is as white as snow.
Let's so I chose to stay behind with the other people who went to Germany too. Is meeting him with my group of friends in a public area with a lot of tourists dangerous?
>>1094765
*say
>>1094734
>What should I do to make this less awkward?
It will always be awkward
>Also, it is dangerous for me to do this?
You are Canadian, you travel to a country where you don't speak the language, don't know your way around and lie to your parents about your intentions of traveling just to meet a stranger from the internet you chattet with for some time and wont tell anyone about it.
That's the plot of endless episodes of every crime series made in the last 15 years.
Yes, it's dangerous you could only push your luck harder by replacing Munich with Mogadischu or Kabul.
>Should I not meet him at all?
Be sure about his intentions.
Meet him with you parents or friends around or at least tell them and meet him in public, nothing wrong with it. Don't be retarded and if you get the slightest bad feeling about it GTFO.
>>1094769
I am somewhere between A1 and A2 for German. And from what I've heard, quite a lot of Germans in large cities speak fluent English.
>nothing wrong with it
Well you said it was dangerous. I've skyped with my online friend before.
>>1094734
>My parents had a "no talking to people" rule when I was a kid.
Sounds like great parenting.
>>1094778
Sorry, it was a typo. I meant "no talking to people ONLINE".
More info:
1) He knows that I am from a well-off family (I told him I went to a private school and travelled to a lot of places). I told him that a long time before I had the intention of meeting him at all. Now I am scared of being kidnapped. Am I being paranoid?
2) Should I tell my irl friends what I plan to do? And should I tell an older person I trust what I intend to do? But then I don't want to tell my parents as I get the impression that they will freak out and not let me go. Even if I tell my relatives, they will probably tell my parents. The only older person I talk to is a former high school teacher who I kept in contact with but telling him is kind of irrelevant lol.
3) Is it really THAT dangerous if I choose to stay behind with my group of people from my uni and we all meet him in a group in a public area such as outside a tourist attraction or in a busy restaurant. There may be a guy or two in the group. Someone can always keep an eye on him to make sure he is not putting ruffies into the drinks.
4) What are some other tips to stay safe?
bump for interest
Germany is at least as safe as Canada. You know this German guy better then a random guy from your town. I guess the risk is minimal. But if you really want to play it safe be honest to your parents. And meet him in a public place like a restaurant with your parents.
>>1095952
>You know this German guy better then a random guy from your town
He could be catfishing me though. Pic related
Just say you met him online, it's pretty standard to try and make friends online before going abroad nowadays. It's not like you're going to fuck him, right? Then why is it awkward? At some point you need to live your life and not care what your parents think.
>>1096021
>At some point you need to live your life and not care what your parents think.
I am not interested in fucking my friend. It's just that my parents are kind of over-prorective (eg. they will not let me travel to a developing country alone).
I am scared that they will not let me go to Germany if they know that I will meet some online friend of mine.
Seriously, is meeting an online friend in a foreign land very dangerous? I don't want to be killed or kidnapped and he knows that my family is well-off.
>>1096023
>Seriously, is meeting an online friend in a foreign land very dangerous? I don't want to be killed or kidnapped and he knows that my family is well-off.
If this would ever happen you would make history. Something like this never ever happened in Germany. Absolutely no Canadian tourist was ever kidnapped and killed in Germany. And certainly not from an online friend. Being abducted by aliens is way more likely.
You should worry about getting raped by the refugees and not your online friend. Worst case is you don't like the online guy irl but he's not going to rape you.
>>1096289
You better stay home cuddled under your blanket then. There's nothing wrong with being cautious, but you're giving off more of a paranoid impression, really.
>>1096422
>you're giving off more of a paranoid impression
Some people earlier in the thread pointed out that it is dangerous.
>>1096425
Sure it can be, but really, meet together with other people in a public place and there's nothing dangerous about it. Or let him come to Berlin. She's still young and insecure, okay, but you better not travel if your head is all about "what if".
>>1096428
>let him come to Berlin
He couldn't. He's an 18-year-old guy who depends on his parents for all his expenses and his parents will probably not allow that.
>>1096461
>He's an 18-year-old guy who depends on his parents for all his expenses and his parents will probably not allow that.
All the more reason that he won't rape or kidnap you.
>>1096629
He could have been catfishing me though, but then I've skyped with him before.
Someone pointed out that I am meeting a stranger in a foriegn country where I only speak the language between A1 and A2 and it really cannot become more dangerous that that unless if we are meeting in Africa or somewhere. Should I tell my parents that I will be meeting an online friend there?
>>1096711
Tell your parents you wont' be sucking him off but another guy you meet later in germany, the truth will set them straight.
>>1096741
I think my parents will dislike the idea of me meeting an online friend. I don't have any German friends irl so they will probably figure out we met online.
Also, if I am travelling with my peers instead, should I tell them I will meet an online friend and hope that they can be with me when we meet. I am scared that they will be uninterested or think that it is dangerous.
> Itt: theres nothing anyone can say that will stop OP from repeating the same 2-3 responses.
Fuck off OP.
>>1096461
>He's an 18-year-old guy
How old are you then? I'm just a bit older than 18 and I live in Berlin and the party life has taken over control of me. Stay safe out there OP. And a lot of douchey club bouncers will pull the "this is a 21+ club, dude" if they feel like fucking with you but then again you are female so..
And you could just say that you met him in Berlin. It's not like your parents want to know exactly when and where you met someone. I'm assuming you are over 18 and if so then you need to take your own life into your own hands.
>Do you know how far away Munich and Berlin are from each other?
About 7-8 hours by bus, 6 hours by high speed train, 1 hour by plane.
>My online friend will not go to Munich just to say hi.
Doesn't really sound like an excited friend if he's not willing to take the train into Munich for a day to see someone from across the world who came all the way to see him.
>Is meeting him with my group of friends in a public area with a lot of tourists dangerous?
Are you serious?
>>1097005
But he knows my family is wealthy. What if he means to kidnap me? How serious of a concern is this?
>>1097005
Hey this isn't me >>1097105
I am OP. My friend doesn't like to party. He only likes to drink beer occasionally.
>Doesn't really sound like an excited friend
Anyway, he doesn't seem that keen on seeing me irl. Maybe to him, meeting irl doesn't matter that much as we can talk online too. His family has financial issues and I can understand why his parents do not want to pay for tickets to Berlin (although he is not poor).
>Are you serious?
Like that other person who pretended to be me, I am a bit worried about the kidnapping as he knows that I went to this private school with ultra-rich kids (I'm not rich, and pretty much everyone at that school was wealthier than me). Well >>1094758
and >>1094769
pointed out that it is kind of dangerous.
You might get a bus ticket from Munich to Berlin for 5 EUR. (at least if you spend 3 minutes looking for a discount) .
If this guy is pretending he can not afford this he is lying in your face. He does no want to see you. You could offer him to pay for the trip.
If he still says no he is not worth to meet at all. I would even say stop meeting him online. Case closed.
>>1097105
Seriously, you shut up now. It was pretty cute at first how concerned you were. Germany is not some third-world shithole. Why would anybody need an elaborate scheme in catfishing a canadian girl who might come to Germany eventually. Who would fucking take the risk of going to jail for years to press a few thousand euros out of a girl? You said he is White, so chances are he is from a rich Family himself.
Just ask him if he wants to join you in Berlin. Also you could say he was assigned as your buddy by your school or whatever.
Also stop worrying. Germany is one of the safest countries in the world and in major cities you will get along with english very good. Sometimes even the signs are in english and french too.
>>1097372
I'm OP and I didn't post that. Someone pretended to be me. But yeah, I am a bit worried about the kidnapping.
>so chances are he is from a rich Family himself
He's not, but he is not poor either.
>>1097346
>If this guy is pretending he can not afford this he is lying in your face
He never said that. He just said that it was a pity that Berlin and Munich were so far apart when I told him that I will stay at Berlin. I never asked him if he can come to Berlin because even back then I didn't think about meeting irl.
>>1097105
Just shut the hell up already. You won't get raped. And you certainly won't get kidnapped.
