Hello /trv/,
Need help and encouragement.
Situations in my life have lead me to this point: I will be going on my first solo this summer. I have about 2200£ saved up and have 3 months off during the summer.
As this might well be the last time in my life I get this much time off and I have money saved up, I gotta go.
Gf dumped me and best friend bailed, so either I don't go or I go alone. I'm really scared of going alone tho.
For now I am thinking Indonesia June-August, roughly 3 months. I want to get my scuba diving licence, I want to surf, I want to check out volcanoes and temples and I have to meet other young people.
So:
>25 yo male
>Relaxed, friendly and sociable, but also introvert. Don't mind spending time alone.
>I really want to meet young people, preferably hot girls and surfer guys, and tag along with them for a few days.
Booking in max. 1 week from now.
Please:
-Encourage me to go solo, tell me about your first solo experience and why I should go. I'm worried.
-If you been to Indonesia, give me ideas! It's a massive place.
Basically, can you hold my hand and help me get excited?
Thanks xx
I am also travelling to indonesia this summer for about a month. Solo and first time, i'd recommend what i did, find an indonesian girl on the internet so you have translator and travel guide. Going solo always seems better in my mind, you'll have experiences none of your friends will and it will make you step out of your boundries. I guess i would recommend bali if you're trying to meet surfers and hot girls. Otherwise lombok is supposed to be dank if you want slightly less tourist trap. Get excited m8 this place is paradise.
>you'll have experiences none of your friends will
as if that really matters
If you are going to go alone, do it for yourself, in the end you are never alone if you are sticking to the typical backpacker routes. If you really get "off the beaten track" then you'll be alone and sometimes it's difficult to handle oneself with loneliness. I have been travelling alone since I first tried it and I really enjoy it. It's not always wonderful, sometimes you just will feel homesick and in the necessity of socialising but those are the moments when you also learn with other things like boredom, yourself, being in places where not much really happens. That said I also enjoy travelling with friends but I think I will never stop doing it alone.
When it comes to Indonesia as you say the place is massive and really diverse. I would really stick to an area as travelling can be a challenge at times. I've never been a fan of wanting to see a lot of stuff so you can say you've seen it all but rather travelling avoiding airplanes and soaking on where I am. I would estimate:
Sumatra: 2 weeks
Java: 2 weeks
Borneo: 2-3 weeks
Bali, Lombok and Nusa tengara: 3 weeks
Sulawesi: 2 weeks
Spice islands: 2 weeks
Papua: 2 weeks
>>1108068
What do you mean, is she going to travel around with you for fun? Or are you paying her to be your guide?
Yeah a friend was recommending me Bali and Lombock, he really enjoyed both. I still need to look into it properly myself tho.
I guess I want a bit of both: a bit of party and surfy in more 'touristy' areas. From there hopefully move on to more isolated places with people I meet.
>>1108099
I'm setting off alone and intend to do the cliche soulsearching and figuring stuff out on the trip. I'll probably be alone alot of the time but I hope not, the ideal plan would be to meet other similar minded people to move on and travel with. I would be much happier with company along the way.
The best would be to meet a nice girl :)
Thanks for the detailed plan, honestly I still need to look into it in more detail and I'll be booking next week. I'm sure I'll be keeping this as a reference for plan-making!
Do you guys reckon it is easy to meet people along the way who will take in a lonely young traveler to join them along the way?
Also, Jakarta yes or no?
I'll keep the thread posted with my plans and let you know when I've booked, so you guys can stick around and celebrate with me when I do!
Read through the thread, fuck yeah op! This is an excellent opportunity for you.
You have the same idea of getting licensed in ow in Indonesia like I do. I'd say just go for it, make it the adventure of a lifetime for yourself. You could teach English abroad if you wanted to stay there longer and earn a decent income.
As for traveling solo, there really isn't any touristy place on this earth you won't find someone to connect with who can speak whatever the hell your first language is. Find the social nexus of wherever your staying and you'll meet plenty of travelers like yourself who want to meet others to share in their experiences. Wether that be a hostel lounge, a popular tourist location, the beach, etc. it'll be easy to find company. Just say hello!
I remember my first solo trip, it was a month in Portugal/Spain. My backpack had been packed, unpacked, and repacked 3 times with things I felt I did or didn't need. I knew enough Spanish to order a beer and find the bathroom. But I felt alive, throwing myself into a new place and culture with no one I knew from back home to help support me. Quickly you just learn to bullshit with any rando that looks in any way touristy (shouldn't be a problem whatsoever in Indonesia).
I hope you get your trip straightened out and look forward to seeing your pretrip progress!
>>1108271
Yeah pretty much she's just travelling around with me for fun. I met her on Scout a dating website where you get people from around the world. I have a bunch of money saved up and was pretty much just going to go to wherever the first girl that i connected with was at. I'd recommend finding people on the internet to meet up with first, its pretty wild.
If you can spare the cash i hear the komodo dragon national park island is pretty dope. Bunch of those big lazy lizards there.
As for non touristy places, i also hear lake toba in northern Sumatra is beautiful. As well as the rain forests in northern sumatra and aceh.
>>1108306
Hey, thanks man! That's exactly the kind of encouragement I need to hear right right now! I do really want this to be huge for me.
I can't wait to get my flight booked and a few plans straightened out, I'll make sure to keep you posted anon.
>>1108324
Thanks for the advice but I don't think I'll be looking for a girl online. It does sound pretty neat but it doesn't sound something I would do.
Cheers for Komodo and ideas on Sumatra, I'll be taking them into account making my plans!
I have other stuff to focus on until the 7th of May, after that I book ASAP as I'm not too sure about dates till then.
In the meantime I'll be making a rough plan with the help of you anons and other reading!
>>1107999
I'm 25 and coming from a very similar position. I've been traveling alone for nearly 4 months now, and what they say is true. It's really hard, especially in a hostel environment, to not be surrounded by people. Honestly, it got to the point where the process of meeting new people just got tiresome and repetitive for me. I've been doing work for accommodation, usually staying at a single spot for anywhere from 2 weeks to a month+. I tend to value the friendships I've made with other "long-term" workers (some were other travelers, others were natives employees) much more than the "friendships" I've made with other hostel guests who only stay at a place for a few days. Those extremely short term friendships tend to be a lot more disposable. At best I'd only message those guests I'd met for a few days after they left, tops. I regularly keep up with a surprising number of the friends I made working and there's only one person I keep in touch with that I met as a guest. With that said, you can definitely have a lot of fun with people you've only known for a few days (or even hours).
As for the soul searching thing, I think you will find a lot of people in similar situations, me included. To be honest, I think what I've "found" so far probably could have been discovered without as much expense at home, but it's impossible to know for sure. Traveling could have been the catalyst for really scrutinizing some of the questions that have been at the back of my mind. If part of this soul searching is because of this girl that broke up with you, I might suggest taking some time for yourself to reflect on what it is you're looking for from being with a "hot" or "nice" girl. If you're just replacing the validation you felt from one person with the validation you hope to find with someone new, I'm not quite sure that's fixing anything. Granted, I'm speaking entirely from my own experiences, and I'm also young, reckless, and dumb so take my advice with a grain of salt.
>>1109193
Thanks for the honest reply.
It's cerainly good to hear that you find it easy to meet people while travelling and staying in Hostels. For some reason this is one of my main concerns. I'm scared of feeling lonely.
A few questions for you then, right off the bat:
- Where are you travelling?
- Do you get lonely?
- How easy to get work in Hostels ecc?
Again thank you, appreciate the answer.
Yeah we seem to be in a similar situation and have no idea what we want to do at this point in our lives. The 'quarter life crysis', perhaps?
Sure it would be cheaper to do the soulsearching at home but hey at least you're doing something new and exciting and seeing new places! That must be better than being at home, or at least count for something.
You're right about wanting to replace the emptiness you feel after a breakup with another girl as quick as possible. Thanks for the concern. However after my last relationship I have decided not to get too close to anyone for a good few years. Or at least try.
I grow too attached to people and it's not healthy. Don't worry, I'm not looking for my next gf, first I need to figure myself out.
A little fun on the side to take my mind off the ex tho, that' always nice.
Cheers friend.
>>1109260
- Where are you travelling?
I started mid January and was in Japan for 3 months. Currently in Korea for a few more weeks and then I'm off to Philippines/SEA. After that is TBD.
- Do you get lonely?
I'm pretty introverted and there were definitely chunks of time I spent alone, although I wouldn't describe all of it as being lonely. Even those chunks were only for one or two days at a time at most (usually when I was traveling in between destinations or taking day trips). The time alone can be pretty refreshing. There's no pressure to make sure others are having a good time, no expectation to keep things lively, to stay on schedule, etc. It can be pretty refreshing to get away from that kind of thing; you're responsible for just you and you alone. Also gives you a lot of time to really think about things as well. I did a lot of aimless wandering in Japan, sometimes lonely but other times not so much, and often by choice.
Even if that doesn't sound appealing, I wouldn't be concerned about being lonely. All it really takes is to hang out in a public area of a hostel and just ask what others are up to or invite others to do something you're doing. For the most part, a lot of those people are alone and may not know what exactly to do either. I always considered myself to be extremely shy and a bit of a social idiot, but you adapt pretty quick once you realize everyone else is more or less on the same page. Honestly that's where things get to be a bit rote. There's a lot of "Where have you been? Where are you going? What have you seen?" Fairly typical conversation that ultimately feels formulaic after a while, hence why I started to really appreciate my longer term acquaintances. I do feel like travelers open up more readily than you'd expect if you invite them to do so though. Might be because of the implicit understanding that time is limited, so there's definitely interesting conversation to be had.
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>>1109260
Even outside the hostels it can be pretty easy to pick up on other travelers. I've started conversations with random people at restaurants and such. When talking to random locals at bars and stuff, being humble, open minded, and genuinely interested in their culture seems to go a long way.
- How easy to get work in Hostels ecc?
Surprisingly easy. I got an account on workaway.info. If you're American the account cost is nothing compared to the amount you can end up saving (something like 30 bucks if I recall correctly). This isn't exclusive to hostels (you get stuff like English cafe's and the like) and some places will feed you as well. Another option is to just google hostels at your destination and e-mail them directly to ask about it. I found work in Kyoto and Tokyo this way. Be sure to read the reviews where available and make sure you're getting a fair trade for your work. I'd say doing 5 days a week 5 hours a day for food and accommodation or 3 hours for just accommodation is pretty fair (at least in Japan where the accommodation gets pretty high). I always had plenty of time to do my site seeing.
However, only do this if you are legitimately willing to help out. I've met some people that seem to think of it as a free vacation and get indignant about doing work that they've agreed to do. On the flip side don't let hosts use you as a modern day slave either. This is meant to be two people offering to help each other out, not take advantage of each other. Ultimately you'll know a good host when you WANT to do good work for them.
As far as the girl thing goes, I get pretty attached myself. I guess what I'm advising against is becoming reliant on flings to fill that void. For me, when the fling ends I'm just back where I started, the only difference being I used another person to make myself feel better for that short while. But again, that's just my perspective, I've known people who needed that to get back on their feet. Do what's best for you.
