god damn it /trash/ what have you done to my fucking mind
>parents brought home two goats
>inb4 underage b& I'm just staying with them
>one is really chill and has short horns
>the other wants to get the fuck out of there and rams everything
>both are girls
Here's the problem
>go out and see the goats for the first time
>suddenly remember all of the beastiality porn I have ever seen
>I now have the urge to fuck a goat
What have you fucking done, /trash/.
You people need to fix this, I don't want to fuck a goat, but my penis says otherwise.
I can't live my life popping a boner every time I see a fucking goat, what the fuck do I do.
Other people didn't make you want to fuck goats.
Other people showed you that you had that latent desire.
>We didn't make you what you are, we just held up a mirror.
See this is what I'm worried about
On one hand, fucking animals is degenerate and against my morals.
On the other hand, I could fuck a goat, and it's not like I'm getting any pussy right now or any time soon anyways.
So what, I treat the goat nice and then one night while it's in heat or something I finger it?
You have to be a little more specific. I don't want to hurt this thing and I don't want it to hurt me.
Goats are a typical animal for petting zoos. They're not any more dangerous than other animals, including humans. It's an unlikely possibility but pretty much guaranteed not to happen unless you keep rimming their unwashed assholes.
Fuck the goats.
I'm going to be dead serious here, Anon.
No matter what these morons say, don't do it.
Look, I have the hots for horsedick, alright? I know what it's like to lust after animals. But I don't do it. That's what porn on the internet is for.
I don't actually go out and fuck horses. Fucking animals is dangerous, because if they don't want it, they can potentially fuck your shit up. Biting, kicking, etc.
Additionally, if you're forcing yourself on something much smaller than you, that just makes you look like a wussy shit who couldn't handle anything close to his own size.
Don't give in to your impulses, it's a sign of weakness. If it's driving you that nuts, then just avoid the damn goats as much as you can.
I don't want you to do something you might regret for the rest of your life, whether it be public shame, jail, scars, or even going to all that trouble and having it not be as satisfying as you'd initially think it'd be.
Don't degrade yourself just to entertain some depraved strangers on the internet. People on 4chan will jump at the chance to see people do stupid shit. Don't do it.
Honestly, OP, you've been to /b/ before, I'm sure. If you frequented /b/ and still decided to descend into the /trash/ with the rest of us, then you absolutely brought this upon yourself.
It's grounds for moral turpitude, but I say if you want to get it out of your system, try to fuck one of the goats. If it turns out your imagination is getting ahead of your dick, and banging animals isn't your thing, then you'll likely instantly wean yourself off being turned on by goats. If you screw the goat and it's the hottest thing in the world, then you have yourself a new fetish and handy-dandy immediate sexual outlet!
Other than that, I could only recommend reviewing some beastforum animal-fucking guides and videos in action of dudes doing goats, or if you want to sublimate your animal attractions, try switching to being a furry. They have quite a few top-notch feral artists.
Just get a flesh light and Jack off to this goat lady
I've decided I'm just going to be friendly to the goat for now.
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna go out and inspect it to see if I like what I see.
if the thread is still up I may or may not update.
Okay, first of all, not all animals are going to automatically let you fuck them. They can all have different reactions. It's more likely that they'll let you rut them if they're reeeeaaal comfortable around you, but assuming they'll let you stick your dick in regardless of anything is a dangerous assumption. From what I understand, this guy hasn't known the goats for that long, so it's less likely that he'll get away with it. There's also the possibility that after he does do the deed, they may start acting funny, especially around him, and it might provoke questions from his parents. It's not worth it.
Second of all,
>implying horses are shit
u wan go m8 i'll fukin wrek ur shit i swear on me mum
OP pretty much came here for the go-ahead. The thought was on his mind, and he figured he'd get some positive reinforcement and some pointers before laying a goat. I'd much rather not hear about a goat getting fucked (they're too cute and platonically affectionate for it), but it's not like the OP is a fresh-faced social dependent whose thoughts revolve around doing what the /trash/ tells him to do.
0-1: OP gets caught by his parents
2-3: goat bites OP's dick off
4-5: OP catches goat AIDS
6-7: goat horn goes up OP's butt
8-9: OP has a good time but regrets it forever
dubs: OP marries goat waifu
Start with some light fingering OP. You're gonna want to get close to these goats, spend time petting them at feeding times and letting them grow comfortable around you. Standing at their side, reach back and massage her flank. If she's responsive, she'll likely inch herself closer to you.
Take your time, play around with them a little. Plus, if one doesn't seem willing or happy, don't force it. Try the other one! And be sure to take it slow.