I'm going to be recording myself riding a baddragon toy cause I felt like it. I'm attention whoring a bit but listen
You'll all be giving me stuff to say into the mic, nothing but the extreme will be rejected
I'll wait 30 minutes to start and then I'll take responses as they come in
I'll be editing the final package into a clyp-it which I'll turn into a video
Don't hold back but don't be too weird
XOXO -sluttyanon
(ps. bring your friends)
Well damn I guess I'll just let this thread die or do whatever is on it tomorrow night. Is the hate of attention whoring that bad? Maybe I'm paranoid and everyone's asleep.
Sad boner, awaayyyy
>>2639337
It's 3AM in Western burgerland, and trash isn't the fastest board on the planet. Might want to wait a little longer if you want more anons stroking it to ya. Also:
>don't be too weird
>>2639337
Give it a day, the americans are sleeping
>>2639337
Yeah just wait till the burgers are here. Don't think people on trash of all places mind attention whores.
You sure your boypussy can take that bad boy though?
Its not even 9 pm at the most eastern part of burgerland give it another day and you'll have a whole slew of autists masturbating to you
Wait like 5 hours
And Eeww, what are thoose chair and old ass tv?
>>2640740
>And Eeww, what are thoose chair and old ass tv?
Not him, but if it ain't broke..
>>2640789
He has Sennheiser headphones!
>>2640863
it is way easier imo to justify spending heavy dosh on a decent pair of cans than a television that both still works, and is a product that is borderline obsolete, anyways.
I am a burgerfat and have only just awoken. Did OP die?
>>2641321
Yeah
Dildo exploded in anus
>>2639217
I want to start anal but I dont know what dildos I should use or what lube...
I heard anal plugs are great
all the nice anal toys should have a sucker to attach them to a wall? it sounds like the more easy way to insert it to yourself....
yyyyyeah, i'm a bit lost guys in this anal think...
>>2643537
Astro Glide
And Dragon Dildo
OP right here
I've been pretty "bummed" and worried about the thread and don't worry that's my garage where we keep stuff we don't want in the house. (Where we actually have nice things) I kinda feel safest slutting it up in there with a wired mic set up compared to rooms near my family members.
Btw I'm 19 and addicted to /mu/ sadly
I really want to deliver cause I'm sure the outcome will be more funny than sexual
>>2643985
What do you mean with we?
Does your family know you will stick a dragon dildo in your ass soon?
>>2643985
You like living a dangerous life eh?
>>2639387
We are here now. OP. Please fuck ass.
>>2639217
I'm guessing your a guy right
Well OP? I'm waiting
Guys, the point of this is for you guys to give me things to say while I'm incredibly turned on
Im thinking I'll have a list of weird quotes or things you came up with on your own or just standard slutty stuff but I want a lot to get through so samefag all you want
Im a guy, but really submissive
And my 17 year old sister opened my dragon dildo package so she knows
(no she doesn't wanna use it)
>>2645794
Do you have a cute voice?
I'll show up if you do
>>2645794
"The fact that so many books still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever..." but read the whole thing
Man fuck this diddly cock
>>2645794
>That's a spicy meatball
>>2645794
You want quotes? I'll give you quotes motherfucker.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A pleasure dome decree
Where Alph, the sacred river,
ran through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense bearing tree,
And here were forests ancient as hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! Holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing
A mighty fountain momently forced
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail
Or chaffy grain neath thresher's flail
And mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river
Five miles meandering with mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank into a lifeless ocean
Amid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestor's voices prophesying war!
The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves
It was a miracle of rare device
A sunny dome with caves of ice!
A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song
To such a deep delight would win me,
With music loud and long,
I would build the dome in air
The sunny dome! The caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there
And all should cry Beware Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
Close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honeydew hath fed
And drunk the milk of Paradise
>>2645794
Here, say this faggot: Oh anon, the bed is cold without you, why don't you join so we can warn yourself. Oh my, is that...is that your thing poking my back. My my, anon, you are such a pervert, hidding that monster from me?
>>2646433
> yourself.
FUCK, I mean ourselves, also at the 'back' there's a question mark.
>>2645811
I'm confident that I'll be able to pull off some cuteness. I'm no twink god but I know what good production value sexual voices need to sound like. I'm practicing, too
Also, I'm looking forward to reading that poem, anon
>>2639217
Great taste in headphones.
I don't know if OP is still here but can you say
"uun Saucy fuck me hard yes"
Saucy is name
>>2648361
Saucy, Get back to drawing Sonic pics in /ic/
Beg "me" to cum deep inside you
And beg like a little slutty bitch
>>2648520
I-I've been compromised!
Good requests so far.
Trust me guys, I'm delivering late tonight (time zone SoCal). I ain't backing out of this
And yeah my headphones are my most prized possession
Could you beg in a desperate voice for me to be week one? Like
>oh please, pleeease
>*breathing/panting*
>please please be week one
>>2648830
>tfw European
Someone really needs to record this!
http://youtu.be/xam2FPl1Pw8
Hi OP, if I'm not too late here's my request. I go by Vilppu. Could you please say in a sexy voice "yes Vilppu, feel my form you naughty boy"
Hey my name's Loomis. Could you say something like "Get all up in that sticky, loomis, loooomisss, LOOMISSS" as if you're orgasming?
yo im Santi could you scream "MOOOOOOOOOOOOODS BAN SANTI" right at the point of climax thanks :^)
>>2649845
i second this notion.
These all seem possible so far
I'm doing it way later tonight and no it's not a stream type deal
I'm releasing this through audio only. As much as I want to film this (even if I only have my phone as a camera) I'm not showing the world my face in a comedic porn clip. My SM57 Shure mic will be recording the entire thing and I'll be making an abridged version for release through a link to clyp-it or something. I'll make a download link through Mega too
I'll probably make a video out if of later
If you have anything you're second guessing just ask, I'm pretty reasonable even if I'm pulling a stunt like this
Please be week one stella! Please! Oh amd can you also say that jerry breem is a failure?
Cancer
>>2652484
I know, I'm being an attention whore which is probably the biggest sin I could commit (even though this was intended for comedy and not me feeling good, in fact I haven't stopped sweating out of anxiety since I started this thread)
I wanted to pull the plug several times after I posted it, but oh well
>>2653156
Just let it happen.
>>2653156
NOOOO PLEASE BE AN ATENTION WHORE I NEED YOU!!
>>2648830
>SoCal
>late tonight
Just waiting here in the 951
>>2654911
Don't scare me like that. Are you near the lake?
Btw my sister is probably gonna be hearing the yelling moments tonight. Both actually
And the start is soon, ladies and gentlemen. Get in your last recs while you can
>>2655285
>the lake
Lake Elsinore
Fairmount Lake
Lake Perris
That little lake off a backstreet near my house
There are so many around here
I'm where the 15 meets the 60
>>2649845
FUCKING STOP
>>2655356
Okay yeah we ain't walking distance, but close. Diamond Valley Lake for me.
So I soundproofed the doors with tape and am starting
Don't stay up for the delivery cause I can't promise anything
Also the mic is picking up crickets I hope you don't mind the ambience of them
>tfw think I'm improving but not sure
>tfw too much of a pussy to namedrop
Do you guys think any of the rank wunners have improved yet?
inb4 everyone but me gets mentioned.
>>2656035
whoops wrong board kek
>>2656644
Use more lube
https://clyp it/f3uky55s?token=4f0e227ce8329ebbbc4764052423f8a3
I don't know how the filtering or banning of links works on /trash/ so just add the "." between clyp and it
Its in 320 and a download button is right there
It came out pretty mediocre for my tastes, but listening to your own requests might make it more exciting for you guys
>>2657672
KEK
I salute you good sir
>Just ordered that model myself
H-how long did it take to get made
>>2657672
lol holy shit
>>2657672
11/10, enjoy your prolapsed anus Anon.
>>2657672
Thank you!
Please do more! I missed it
>>2661747
B-but I wanted to make a quote
>>>/soc/
Unless youre a qt furry gril
Fuck off and die of aids
>>2661866
>trying to throw people off board
>a day late
>it already happened
>>2643537
I gotcha man. I just got into it a year ago. First up, you'll need to start stretching your asshole personally I like to douche a bit before so there isn't anything in me that'll stick/smell. Start with some trainer plugs, don't bother with suction cups and fancy stuff or anything until you know how big you can go. I reccomended to take it slow, use plenty of lube and don't force anything, dear god please don't unless you're a masochist. Assuming you're male you're going to want to find your prostate and how best to hit it, once you know that and how big you can go you're good to get some fancy shit like bd toys that you think would best suit you.
Personally I jumped straight in and bought alot of shit at once and wasted some money when I should have waited, like buying a toy to help stretch instead of just going with the plugs.
>>2657877
About a month is what it felt like
>>2640254
>the burgers
Is that what we are called?
I chuckled.
