If Rule 34 is real, /trash/, why the fuck isn't there any porn of these two together?
They're a perfect setup for a classic tsundere ship.
Boy, you're lucky I can't draw.
>>3084140
Wait, Link x Maple porn doesn't exist? Bullshit
>there will never be a comic where, after several encounters, Link writes a note
>Maple will never bump into him while Link intentionally avoids picking up that note
>Maple will never flee with the loot, note included
>She will never be shocked to discover the note's contents, an invitation to meet Link by an old tree
>Maple will never go to meet Link, nervousness blending with hostility which dissolves as the two get to know one another
>The two will never start making out in such a way that things escalate
>The witch and the swordsboy will never take one-another's virginities while Maple is being full-tsuntsun the entire time
>Maple will never go deredere in the afterglow, as the two snuggle up and get max comfy
Why even live?
>>3084140
>series where dude gets like 80 love interests
>lady witch he has gratuitous female contact with who is his age
>not a love interest
fucking.
why.
Learn to draw/edit and make your own porn OP
>>3094145
>maple will never be in smash
>maple will never star in a spinoff where you have to fly around doing witchy stuff in hyrle
>maple will never let the hero of time into her magic vagina and bring forth an even stronger triforce bearer cause >dem bloodlines
>>3094352
>magic vagina
So, does it have a thing where it magically massages Link's donger, or...?
>>3094448
She's magic.
Therefore her body is magic. Therefore: magic pussy.
Whether or not it does anything special is up to whoever draws/writes the porn.
I find Rule 34 fails me more often than not. It seems it only really applies to popular characters.
>>3094725
Seconding.
I had to bug so many people to get someone to draw porn of Mother Maiamai. And here I was thinking milfs and tentacles were popular.
>>3092722
>Link does a sidequest for an old lady witch
>Turns out to be her grandma
>Maple is a bratty tsundere, but she loves her grandma
>Instant love
I'd fuck Maple so hard you don't even know.
I'd help her take Link's items. I'd bring her all the fucking cucco eggs in the world.
Witchy booty best booty.
>>3101111
dem
quads
confirm
>>3101111
This nigga knows what's up.
>>3084140
How can rule 34 be real when anime isnt real?
>>3101111
Quads Confirm. Let there be porn of Maple
>You are Link
>Hero of pretty much every noun at this point, bearer of the Triforce of Courage and all that jazz
>And you're actually making pretty good time through this forest right now
>One more dungeon, you figure, and you'll have all the macguffins you need to save the day
>Again
>As you enter a small clearing, you begin to daydream about how grateful Zelda's going to be for all this
>When, suddenly, everything goes black as something slams hard into your side
>You grunt in pain as you're thrown clear across the open patch of forest floor, items scattering from your bags and pockets all the way
"Ugh..."
>Thrown clear across the forest floor, your eyes struggle to open as you try to find your bearings
>"Hey, green boy."
>Oh for Din's sake
>Forcing yourself to your feet, you turn to face a far-too-familiar by this point green-haired witch
>She flashes a grin at you as she re-settles herself on her flying broomstick
"What is it, Maple?"
>You're really glad you got the Stone of Language two dungeons ago and can finally speak
>Only took like 80 games
>"You know exactly how this goes by now," she answers, casting a glance out over all the scattered loot. "Fastest one wins."
"Maple..."
>You heave a sigh before rubbing your brow in exasperation
>"Did you crash into me -just- so we could play?"
>"W-what? No," she insists, her cheeks flushing slightly. "You just... got in my way while doing my flying practice. And now I'm taking my compensation!"
>You stare blankly at her in response, not buying that bullshit for a second
>But you really can't be assed arguing at this point
"Alright, fine, let's do this."
>"Awesome!" The witch flashes a broad grin as she grips her broomstick. "Ready...?"
"Ye-"
>"Okay, threetwoonego!"
>>3111176
>In a flash, Maple zooms ahead, darting from item to item
>You do your best to keep up, managing to grab a purple rupee early on
>Oh shit, is that a potion bottle
>You make a mad dash for the elixir, grabbing it just in time to stop Maple from doing likewise
>Or at least, so you'd think
>Why is she so preoccupied with those red rupees over there?
>Wait, hold on
>That's not a red rupee
>Your heart just about stops when she holds up what appears to be two red berries or nuts, tied by a stem
>The Seed of Life
"Hey, give that back!"
>You sprint over towards Maple, just about ready to draw your sword
>"Oh-hoh? These little things must be pretty important to you, huh?"
"That's an Essence of Nature!"
>She glances about shiftily, "So? I bet that just means it's super-useful and I should hold onto it. In fact..."
>She's smiling a smile that'd give a Stalfos a run for its money
>Not good
>Her broom begins lifting off the ground, carrying her, the Essence - and very pointedly not you - with it
>"I think I will. Bye, Link~"
>Just once you wish you could get a full-flight item in these things. Mario got that once and everyone loved it
>>3111189
>You do have -one- unusual tool on you right now, though
"Maple," you begin, trying to put gravity into your voice, "every kingdom in the world is literally doomed to eternal darkness if I don't have that, along with the other Essences."
>Maple's eyes narrow again, but this time she's scowling.
>"Oh...yeah, well...". She shakes her head. "Tell you what. I'll give it back if you help me out with something first."
>You are less than impressed
>A sidequest for something you already own
>Well, since it's something you -need-, it's technically part of the main quest, but still...
>You cock one eyebrow
"You want me to go out of my way to do something for you, so you *won't* doom all of creation to neverending despair?"
>She rolls her eyes and huffs, but you can see a blush forming on those poorly-make-upped cheeks
>"Din H. Power, don't be such a downer, Link. Nothing's doomed *yet*."
>You grumble and feel your face shift to a look of sharper disapproval.
"I don't mind doing favors and odd jobs for people, trust me, but you can't have that be the price. Give me an actual reward."
>"Fffffffffffffine." Maple crosses her arms in concession, looking off to the side as she thinks. "How abouuuuuut...I'll... be your best friend forever and ever if you do this one nice thing for me and quit whining about it. Jeez."
>There was a blush forming on the witch wannabe's face before, but it's taken the whole thing over now
>You can nearly feel the heat from your spot on the ground beneath her
>Not that you're...looking up her dress or anything...
>Nothing interesting is visible anyway. With the way she's sitting, her dress rather sensibly is between her legs and the broom
>"And don't say 'no' to this one, or my hat might burst into flames, and then you'll owe me anyway."
>...You're not entirely sure what to make of that, but she seems to be at her limit for negotiating, and you still need that Seed
What do?
>>3111216
Ask her what she wants.
>>3111216
Ask if this is gonna involve running across the whole kingdom on a multi-step delivery run and culminate in delivering a bottle of eyedrops. Cuz your feet are tired enough as it is
>>3111216
Ask if she likes that we can talk now.
The r34 that does exist is sparse and not really that great.
>>3116840
The pornographers of the world have failed us all.
Oh well. Here's a cute picture from pixiv.
>>3117106
I don't think I've ever seen Maple not-cute.
It's a testament to how fucking likable she is.
>>3116262
>>3115294
>>3111543
>Not seeing too many other options, you sigh in defeat
"Alright, Maple. What do you want? This gonna be the kind of thing where I go back and forth across the continent like five times just to get eyedrops for your grandma?"
>"Well," the witch answers, slipping the Essence of Nature into the satchel hanging over her shoulder, "not exactly. You ever hear of a Wanderdongo, green boy?"
"Link."
>"What?"
"The name's Link. You can stop calling me 'green boy' now. I do have a name, you know."
>"Then why didn't you tell me before?"
"That's because I've only been able to talk since... like, yesterday?"
>"Ooh, right. Hey, you -can- talk now!"
>Oh sweet Farore, did she only just realise?
>Was she just kind of imagining you saying shit in response all those other times?
>Is she telepathic?
>You're probably thinking too hard about this
"Yep. So... how do I sound?"
>"You sound pretty cool, Link."
>Maple gulps slightly the moment her sentence ends, as if she's just made some kind of terrible mistake
>And you swear you see her begin to sweat
>"I... I mean," she continues, clearly backpedalling, "as far as green fairy boys go, I guess."
"Um... thanks, I guess?"
>Why does everyone always call you a fairy?
>You're not exactly that flamboyant
>Nowhere near Tingle's level
>Wait no don't think about Tingle
>Think about... what was that other thing Maple just said?
>Right!
>>3118003
"So, what's this Wanderdongo you mentioned?"
>"Oh, yeah!" Maple clears her throat, happy to change the subject. "The Wanderdongo is an ancient, arcane beast. Think of it like a cousin of the Dodongo. But... different."They drift from place to place, never hanging around for long before wandering some other place."
"O...kay. So, this thing kidnap some kids? Is it terrorizing a village or something? You need me to kill it? No, wait, let me guess - it has some kind of magical fashion magazine you really want, right?"
>"W-what? No, of course not!" Maple scrunches her face, casting a sideways glance. "I need one of its bezoars is all."
"A bezoar?"
>"Belly stone. I... need it for a potion," Maple explains. "For grandma Syrup."
"Alright, I guess that makes sense. So..."
>You tilt your head, cocking an eyebrow at her
"why don't you just go after it yourself? Go wherever it is, catch it sleeping, make it puke, get your little rock or whatever?"
>"Because I have this," she retorts, patting her bag. "And... also I've tried doing that before and it kind of didn't end that well."
"...didn't end that well?"
>"I don't wanna talk about it, okay?"
>Maple huffs sharply, folding her arms
>"The point is, if I mess up again, I probably won't get another shot for like a year at least! So... you in, or not?"
What do?
>>3084140
because rule 35 nigger
>>3118006
We're in.
>>3118353
-the money.
>>3120604
the witch too.
>>3118006
We can't wait to bomb some dodongos!
>>3123919
>>3123384
>>3120604
>>3118353
>You mull it over
>Delving into dungeons and fighting oversized monsters is... kind of your whole bag
>Pretty much that, grabbing treasure, doing sidequests, and having a whole mess of unresolved love interests.
>You're pretty sure this meets at least two of those criteria
>Anybody's guess which two, though
>Plus, it's been a while since you've bombed some dodongos, and you've got a full complement of 99 bombs right now
>At the very least, this should be a pleasant diversion
>Even if all she's offering right now is 'be your best friend', crap like this tends to be rewarding in unexpected ways
>Maybe a nice piece of heart or something down the line...
"Alright. I'll do it."
>Maple grins broadly at your response
>You're pretty sure she's trying to aim for 'creepy,' but right now it just kinda looks goofy
>Almost kind of cute, even
>"I -knew- you couldn't resist helping a lady as ~gorgeous~ as me," she chimes, gesturing to her nonexistant bosom with a limp-wristed hand. "Now, as much as you'd no doubt love to stand there gawking at my beauty all day, we really need to get going. It's allll the way across the map after all."
>She shifts forward on the broom slightly, patting the newly-empty space behind her as her eyes shift between it and you
>It's not super hard to figure out what she's getting at
>You climb on and, somewhat tentatively, wrap your arms around her midsection
>She flinches at the first contact, but doesn't seem to actually object
>Which is good - the last thing you need is her getting mad about you doing what you have to do to not fall off mid-flight
>Though you do note, to yourself, that her dress feels like unmistakably cheap material
>As if it was once a picnic blanket
>"Hmph. Took you long enough," Maple grumbles, casting a brief glance across her shoulder as the broom lifts off
>Seemingly without her doing anything to make it do so
>>3130180
>You find yourself rising to maybe three times the height of an average tree before you begin zooming off in what you presume is the direction of the beast
>It's... actually remarkably fast
>At least as fast as the pegasus boots ever were
>The landscape beneath you zooms on by - forests, houses, deserts, a handful of rivers...
>Hyrule's kind of beautiful from up here
>Maple's flying isn't the steadiest thing you've ever experienced - there's a reason she's only a witch-in-training after all - but it's not like Epona hasn't given you worse before
>"You know, Link," Maple shouts over the rushing wind, "I'm glad I bumped into you when I did!"
>She smiles broadly, and much less menacingly this time
>"The Wanderdongo won't stay in Skull Spider Cavern forever, you know."
>Skull Spider- that was like six dungeons ago!
>You already got the treasure in there and there's no WAY any of the monsters inside it could pose a even a mild challenge
>Well, maybe the Wanderdongo could
>It's not like it was there the first time you went through...
>As you think about what might have happened if you'd crossed paths with this thing the first time around, your thoughts are suddenly interrupted as you feel the broom jack-knife hard to the left
>You catch a glimpse of a terrified bird out of your peripheral vision just as Maple jack-knifes the broom back a second later
>Reflexively, you grab her stomach just a little harder, which seems to make the broom jump for just a moment
What do?
>>3130204
Complain about your whiplash. Also, go for boob-grab.
>>3094352
>Maple will never meet the Hero of time because she wasn't in OOT/MM
>>3134892
Of course she wasn't in those games.
Maple is good.
>>3135020
You have good taste, Anon.
Best witch coming through
>>3139295
I think we can all agree that Irene is basically a less kleptomaniacal Maple with a fresh coat of paint.
>>3130204
Move in as close as you can to her
bamp
>>3130204
Ask Maple to give you some warning before pulling that shit again
>>3130204
>wait for years for a story with these two
>dies
>>3151194
Stick around.
>>3151194
I have a job, you know. And /trash/ is slow enough that it can be kept bumped quite easily when I'm not here.
So please don't worry. I'll 'git 'er dun', as they say.
>>3151606
>Larry the Cable Guy gives Maple more love than Nintendo and Capcom do.
b u m p
Writefag here.
Wasn't able to work on the story as much as I would have liked today. Ended up working late, and I'm prolly gonna have to sleep soon. Still, more story is coming.
In the meantime, feel free to add alternative answers to the question, "what do?". I do like working multiple answers into the next bit of story, and it gives me more ideas to work with.
>>3159301
/r/ing link smalltalking with maple
>>3084140
At least there was another witch in LBTW. Link/Irene in pretty cute.
soylent bump
silent bump
>>3166780
>>3159453
>>3151194
>>3145804
>>3141275
>>3134125
>Curiosity begins to creep into your mind at Maple's reaction
>More specifically, curiosity at how much of your touch she'll tolerate without protest like this
>On one hand, seeing what'd happen if you squeezed her tits could be fun
>You're also curious to see whether they actually exist under that dress
>On the other hand, you'd rather not get thrown off and and break your neck from a fall fifty feet up
>Speaking of your neck breaking, holy shit that whiplash
"Jeez, Maple! Think you could go a bit easier with the dodging?"
>Keeping your hands where they are, you stretch your neck back and forth, cracking it a bit
"Or at least warn me first!"
>The witch in front makes an attempt at a cackle, shaking her head
>"Sorry," she calls back over the wind, pointing at her broom, "older model!"
>You weren't even aware brooms came in models
>Maybe they don't, and she's just fucking with you
>Actually that would pretty much be par for the course
"Wait, who makes flying brooms, anyway?"
>"Witchcraft Guild! They make all Witching stuff!"
"Really?"
>Shifting your grip, you begin moving in closer towards Maple
"Who's in this guild, anyway?"
>"Well, there's Grandma Syrup," she answers, raising a finger to her chin, "and me, I'm a junior member. And, um..."
>You look down at the broom
>It feels as crude and rough as Maple's dress
>And looks the part too
"You strapped this thing together yourself out of twigs, didn't you?"
>>3177556
>Maple's face turns bright red at the accusation as she bares her teeth
>And though you can't see steam coming from her ears, you're no longer entirely sure that whistling noise is -just- the wind
>"Shut up!"
>Gripping the broom tightly, Maple flips it upside-down
>Slowly, the broom descends
>With each second, your head draws closer to the treeline zipping past below
>"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"
>You can see the occasional Skulltula in the branches from here
>And a couple appear to be within striking range
>What was that advice your uncle tried to give you ages ago?
>'Don't ride a stick with crazy?'
>You really wish you'd listened closer to the old man before he decided poking around the castle basement was a good idea
>Just as you're about done preparing yourself to join him in the afterlife, though, the broomstick inverts once more before coming to a dead stop
>Throwing you forward, slamming your body into Maple's
>"Oh hey," she chimes, all traces of anger gone, "we're here!"
>With your heart still racing from that near-death experience, the stick descends, settling a foot off the ground
>Ahead of you stands a cliff face with a familiar image of a spider, flanked by skulls, carved into it
>No mistaking it - this is the entryway to the once-cleared, now wanderdongo-infested Skull Spider Cavern
>Peering over her shoulder, Maple gives you an expectant look
>"You can get off now, green boy."
What do?
>>3177582
>you can get off now
Oh~~ if you insist, Maple~~
>>3177582
Time to hunt some wanderdongo
>>3177582
Ask her to come with
>>3179775
She does know more about this thing after all.
>>3177582
steal broomstick
find a ramp in shallow water against a wall
build speed for 12 hours
warp to the alternate universe where Medli is and bone her instead
>>3186631
Hey you're a crazy witch, but you fuck so good I'm on top of it
>>3177582
Now that the ground is a step away, go for the boob grab and flee into the cave if she flips her shit
Or
Test the waters with some rubbing that can be excused with an attempt to dismount the broom
Also ask if she'd like to tag along
bump
>>3177582
>rape
bumpo
>>3177582
Check pockets, ensure you didn't drop anything when Maple flipped you. Also, get off broom.
