Since /tg has such a love-hate thing with elves. How'd any of you try to befriend with one? If not, what'll be your methods of further antagonizing them? Come on now and post them elf pics too.
>>46319292
>How'd any of you try to befriend with one?
Not.
I live in an area with a lot of old folks and the generation gap makes talking to them very awkward. Now imagine that generation gap being at least twice as large, and at most a millennium large. Imagine talking to someone who still remembers the good old days when the solution to a interreligious tensions was a good ol' fashioned crusade.
>>46319292
rape
>>46319356
Old people are pretty good at leading conversations though and they love to tell you their stories. I bet elves are like that with humans they're friendly with maybe a cool older dad/mom figure too.
Now that you've brought that up...
>date a beautiful, funny, and intelligent elf lady who is old enough to be your great grandmother
>when you're cuddling with her she mentions how you're so handsome like your great grandfather
>turns out they dated for a while
wat do?
>>46319493
Older women are my fetish but this shit is just scary.
>>46319493
Just continue dating! She may be old as a grand parent in human standards, but she's practically young in elven standards and she's basically hot and intellectual.
You get to live and be married with her and she can be the bread winner of the house and you can just be the loving husband doing the house work and cook, clean and help care for the cute half-breed kids.
>>46319292
If we are going with the "All elves think everyone else is dumber than coffee mugs" cliche then you'd need to prove you are not as useless as they think. Best place would be at work, so you can show off your skills without looking like a creep.
>>46319493
I know i shoulnd't be wanting this but i do.
>>46319493
Ask who was the better lay obviously
>>46319493
>>46319697
When you stick your dick in, you will always have the knowledge that long ago your great grandfather have sticked his in there too.
>>46319889
You make it sound like it's family tradition.
>>46319889
Talk about feeling a connection to your ancestors... Honestly as long as she isn't a whore and doesn't constantly bring up the details I don't see the big deal, it's kinda like inheriting a house, only way better.
>>46319697
Even without that scenario the age gap between your average young adultish elf and young adult human is vast enough for them to be robbing the cradle it's probably kind of creepy from the perspective of elves too. Not because they're racist but because you spawned into existence very recently and have been a (relatively) reasonable human being for even less of that time due needing to grow up. This just puts it into perspective.
On lifespans it makes me wonder if shacking up with an elf would make you live longer. Or adventuring and being exposed to all kinds of magical energies + leveling up way beyond what a human can normally achieve would do that. It probably wouldn't be enough to live with an elf for a millennium but maybe you'd get an extra century or two.
>>46319925
>Among the nobility it's customary for young men to lose their virginity to the family elf
>>46319889
Well, history has it's ways of repeating itself.
>>46319997
>Not fucking the super hot experienced elf who's job it is to teach you the ways of coitus
>Not having her know the traditional strengths and weaknesses of the family genetics
>Not having her be similar to a mother figure you get to fuck as she was around since you were young and probably has known you for your whole life
>Not being happy you are rich enough to afford something that other people spend their entire lives without having
>Not having her around to teach your son the same
>Not getting to brag to your friends that you tapped an elf
>Not using that experience for the next elf that comes around
>Not banging her on dry spells since she will practically be hot for several more generations
>Not banging her after your wife dies
>Not cucking the male elf butler
>Not establishing human dominance
>>46319997
>>46319923
>>46319925
>>46320135
I was thinking what if in the case of ef/human marriages instead of marrying an individual the elf marries the entire male line of that family but then I realized it would lead to inbreeding almost instantly and my magical realm of a MILF elf raising shotas into her husband was immediately sunk.
>>46319493
Drop great granddad a scry and let him know I stole his ex.
>>46320171
She could just marry the first husband then serve as a matriarch to guide the family line without fucking every successive child. She could also, you know, use contraceptives or just not have vaginal sex. Step up your game son.
>>46319493
>how you're so handsome like your great grandfather
Makes sense, swear if it wasn't for hair styling every generation be identical...
>>46320135
>>Not having her be similar to a mother figure you get to fuck as she was around since you were young and probably has known you for your whole life
Whoa whoa whoa there man, Westermarck effect...
>>46319889
You think she's breeding your family line into human ubermen by adding elf genes directly every now and again?
>>46320242
Okay fine
>not losing your mother baby
>not having her become your adoptive mother
>not Oedipus complex-ing all over that
>>46320271
as a*
>>46320171
If you have elves, you probably have magic. Elves are mystically "pure", so inbreeding is never an issue. Magical realm is a go.
Around elves, watch out.
>>46320230
>matriach of the family
The succession line will all be humans but make it the family rule that all male child care will be given to the elf matriach so she can teaches them the family honor and tradition (includes the fucking in it too).
>>46319493
Realize that this is probably my great grandmother
Panic
Assume the fetal position
>>46320428
I never knew I wanted this to be a thing but now I do
>>46320428
>>46320230
Dick status: muh
You could have her more directly pair up with one lucky prince every 300 years or so to add a bit of her genes every now and then.
>>46320171
You imply that genetic degradation works the same way when crossbreeding between humans and elves. Shit son, it could go the opposite way and make them superior.
>>46320658
>Line of half human half elf people
>Mature faster than humans but retain the long lives and intelligence of elves
>Can master technology and magics
Why haven't they taken over the world yet? Human/Elf gender crossing experiments when
>>46320743
*Mature fast as
>>46320743
Why would they want to? They've got a hot elf milf and everything they could want in life already. Ah but I begin to repeat myself.
>>46320508
Oh dear god no. It's happening again.
>parents keep pressuring you to get a girl
>ignore them until one day you meet a beautiful elf
>she looks elated to see you and starts aggressively flirting with you
>before you know it you're in her bed after experiencing extremely kinky sex
>she pecks your cheek and says it was a pleasure to take her great grandson's virginity
>your mom contacted her because she felt it was time for you to lay with a woman
>and that's how you found out you had elven blood in your family
This is my new favorite magical realm.
>>46320171
>>46320230
>>46320428
>>46320271
>>46320320
>>46320658
>>46320743
>>46320743
So Elven Women and Matriarchs, or Elven Men on human women are ideal for eugenics for healthy and great human-elf hybrid kiddies?
>>46320879
>your mom contacted her because she felt it was time for you to lay with a woman
And I assume this is what your new elf girlfriend looks like?
>>46319292
I'd befriend elves, hit on one, develop a good relationship, date, get married, and have a family.
(with or without two kids, a dog named "Skip" and a white picket fence)
>>46320230
also, elves can purify their unborn of imperfections. Inbreeding schminbreeding!
>>46319292
>How'd any of you try to befriend with one?
by marrying one andloving her tenderly
>>46321265
>>46321819
>marry elf and start family
>have human/elf hybrid children who'd be cute and adorable
Yes, one of the best plans for this.
>>46319292
>be me, a soldier of the government forces
>the government is in war with a new found race of elves existed in a continent we all thought is lifeless, empty and not worth colonizing
>said elves try to expand their "kingdom" as their land is already getting drained, which probably explains why said continent seemed empty and not worth colonizing
>they decide to declare war on us saying their magical powers are superior, yet we had great military firepower; guns, tanks, aircraft, bombers, battleships, etc.
>war is starting to get long and drawn out
>both sides losing lives, neither side gaining any ground or any leverage at all
>I was around my detachment and decided to scout around
>was considerably far from forward operating base when stumble upon an elf chick
>I drew my light machine gun at her but did not pull the trigger as she never got into a battle stance
>we both gawked at each other for some time
>i kept my weapon pointed at her but she just looked at me
>pointed weapon down and asked her wtf she wanted
>she said she does not like the war and thinks its unnecessary and that her race are the ones who'll end up losing
>me doubtful she could be trying to trick me
>but I saw in her eyes she looked like she was not lying
>she said she's both an "Arch-Mage" and a noble woman who's the next possible successor to the kingdom's throne
>she also said she's got alot of people both civilian and military alike with her
>i see a crap ton of elves including her officers and advisers
>they want to go to where my forward operating base was to defect and help out the government forces put an end to the wasteful war
>me and the highborn elf lady and her entourage and other civilian subjects head back to the forward operating base I was stationed
>they surrender and explain to the commanding officers they can help put an end to the war as they have knowledge in the magics and how to penetrate magical elven defenses
>news spreads of elven defection
(to be continued)
Continued from:
>>46322794
>official news of the new elven-human government
>the highborn elf lady I met who's a grand-wizard and possible successor to her former kingdom's throne is named "Solana Petren"
>she is now the new grand-wizard of the government forces who'll help advice magical matters and how to help fight against the renegade elf kingdom
>months pass and we the government forces are starting to win this war as more ground on the elven continent is gained
>finally just before December; Christmas month, the battle for the elven capital is won and Solana Petren herself executes the king and queen elf
>and her advisers and closest army commanders execute the former king and queen's advisers and commanders
>the elven continent is now ruled by new democratic government run by new democratic elven-human government
>infrastructure has been restored and financial issues also restored after the war
>many other soldiers including myself are now permanently assigned and stationed at the reformed elven capital
>all looks well as the human race now seemingly enjoys new elf friends and neighbors.
(to be continued)
>>46319711
At first my response to the idea of househusbanding for an elf waifu was THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS U LIL SHIT but then I thought about it a bit, and...
And if elves were integrated into human society we'd basically be useless at maintaining a decent standard of living. The total length of your career isn't long enough to see one of their children from birth to puberty, how the fuck do you compete with the skill gap?And seeing their father die so early in their life would be a good lesson to your children. Every piece has its purpose.
>>46319493I'd be very scared anon. Enough so that i would seriously reconsider sticking my dick in that, and Wonder what my Great grandfather would do.......Then worry if she's dated anyone else in my family lineage
>>46323147
>one of their children from birth to puberty
Elven children physically age at roughly the same rate as human, however their mental development isn't considered complete until more than a century has passed.
>>46319711
>>46323147
>she insists you become a househusband because she wants your remaining years to be blissful and free of hardship>and so you can spend as much time as possible with your kids before you have to go
Continued from:
>>46322794
>>46322983
>almost a year has passed as i continue living in the elven capital of the recently founded elven goverment and suddenly one of my commanders call me and tell me to go to her office and tells me its something special for me
>I go with her and she tells me the new ruler of the elven government; Solana Petren, the highborn elf babe that i met almost a year
>my commander tells me Solana Petren requests that i now personally live with her and serve as one of her advisers or commanders
>I'am shocked and confused as to why she wants me in her castle but i do so none the less
>I arrive at the castle where the newly found elven government is resided and was told by some guards to come with them to be escorted to Solana Petren and I arrive at her personal chambers
>I'am alone now with her and i ask her why she needs me
>she says: "To thank you Private Abernathy. Believe it or not, if it weren't for you not immediately pulling the trigger of your weapon on me, I would not be alive as of now and things would've been different and the war would have lasted much longer as more live lost."
>she pauses and continues: "You see I figured... I should thank you. Will you, be my betrothed?"
>I was shocked as to why and ask her why me and why not someone else worthy for her as i was just a private
>she explains: "I really have no good explanation asides from the fact that you were willing to listen to me and not immediately fire upon me. If it were another soldier who I encountered Mr. Abernathy, I would've been killed off and my subjects who accompanied me back then be doomed. Please consider this Mr. Abernathy, be with me and you can serve as one of my closest adviser... Probably in human cultures and traditions for my citizens who're still trying to accept our new found harmony between our species."
>I did not know what else to think of, i would say no but as I thought back, my previous life before I joined the military was shit
(to be continued)
>>46319292
Be magic man and do magic things.
That will draw their attention.
Then hang out normally and share some interrests.
At one point both get waisted at a party and end up fugging.
I wonder how long it takes to impregnate an elven woman?
>>46323800
probably easy as it turns out for some reason, the female elven reproductive system seems to easily and highly accept human sperm for some biological reasons.
Continued from:
>>46322794
>>46322983
>>46323147
>I did not know what else to think of, i would say no but as I thought back, my previous life before I joined the military was shit
>Had to work terrible odd-jobs and lived in a shitty apartment and had horrible parents who never loved me and my siblings who always loved and cared for me went missing and most of my education I received came from military school when I enlisted
>and now here I'am being offered to live with and be married to an elven highlord lady
>and she's right, if it weren't for me not pulling the trigger on her immediately, there'd probably still be war going on, and it was then I finally decided
>"Yes Lady Solana Petren... YES I ACCEPT YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE."
>I did not know what came over me as I started crying and bawling, it was as if I finally felt fulfilled, accepted and even loved for once
>yes when I was serving the military I have made friends and many other buddies, but alot of them had already died from previous conflicts which made me feel bad
>and now here I'am, bawling and crying as I finally felt somehow happy and joyful as Solana Petren tightly hugged me and comforted me as she softly said to me
>"Shhhh, its OK, calm down and tell me whats the matter Mr. Abernathy."
>I told her as I begun to calm down and wipe my tears: "Its just... For once I finally felt loved and accepted. Sure I had friends in the military; but many of them have died and those who're still alive... I probably will never see them again. And to make myself even more depressed, I never had a happy and fulfilling childhood. My parents never loved me, my siblings; the only ones in my family who cared for me and help me grow up and attend school have gone missing when I was sixteen, and from then on I had to do labor as I had no family. Until I decided to enlist in the military and the rest is history... I dont what to say about you wanting me- it- ... It's just how am I worthy of you-"
(to be continued)
Continued from:
>>46322794
>>46322983
>>46323484
>>46324409
(ignore that I unintentionally included: >>46323147)
>she sweetly told me: "Well if you really feel that way, then leave it all behind. What matters is what you've done. Again, if it weren't for you; we'd all still be suffering from the effects of war..."
>she held to me and I could not help myself but hug and hold her back as we stood with each other's embrace for awhile
>she then positioned my face towards her and faced me directly and suddenly kissed me to which I also kissed back
>after what felt like hours of us just kissing each other, we pulled back from each other and we even chuckled at one another as I told her in a soft and sweet manner
>"Hehhehe. OK your 'majesty' before we can go any further I think we should... Ya know? Get to know each other even more?"
>she softly chuckled laughed back: "Hehehe of course my my betrothed."
>several months later
>several months has passed and here I'am wearing fine elven made clothes, walking in the halls of the castle as the servants and guards acknowledged my presence as I could very well get used to being addressed as lord
>it's been about two months after Me and ruling Lady Solana Petren have been married as I have also been honorably discharged from my military career, but I still contribute to my wife's nation by helping to train the new defenders and soldiers of this nation and being one of her advisers in human culture aswell
>after a day of doing typical politician duties I finally arrive at our chambers to see Solana in her resting gown with her smiling back at me
>we hug each other as also smoothly rub her pregnant womb which carried our soon to be wonderfully beautiful half elf-half human hybrid child
>as a matter of fact me and Solana Petren may be the first couple to bare such half breed offspring
>she playfully asks me: "So its only six in the evening and we have alot of time together as of now. Care to play around?"
to be continued
>>46324639
Shouldn't he be worried about the elf. In my country all legends say that elf females kill their human mates after they give birth.
>>46323451
>tfw you have no loving beautiful and intelligent elvish waifu who cares for you and your kids and tells you in a caring and loving context to become a househusband so your remaining years can be free from stress and other bullshit
>and also so you can spend quality time with your kids while she be the breadwinner of the house and be an awesome mom
Fitting music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL_pBJN_O3M
>>46319493
Ask her what he was like. He's family after all.
>>46324753
Well that Private Abernathy guy in that writefaggotry is implied to have a shitty and depressing life. And sudenly this highborn elf monarch asks you to merry her after being that nice to her.
Soooo that guy is very VERY lucky to have an elf waifu that loving. So good for him
>>46319292
Well I should add for you all when having a loving relationship with your elf waifu, or husbando for you ladies who dig point ears and guys with sharp cheek bones.
NEVER CHEAT WITH HER/HIM! LYING AND CHEATING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM WILL LEAD TO CONSEQUENCES.
>>46325236
What kind of consequences?
>>46325236
enchanted shaming, basically imagined being caught with the Cheaters crew with your angry elf spouse being brought along with Joey Greko.
Except with more angry destruction magic.
>>46321089
>the elf acquaintance your mom contacted is a Thalmor official
Damn anon, not sure if you're lucky and great to have sex with an elf, or you should be worried that it was a fucking Thalmor official.
>>46324753
He might be from the U.S.
Only elves you hear about here are in Tolkien-style fantasy elves.
Continued:
>>46322794
>>46322983
>>46323484
>>46324639
>she playfully asks me: "So its only six in the evening and we have alot of time together as of now. Care to play around?"
>I respond in a sultry manner: "Why yes my high lady."
>she responds: "Just be easy my love, you know? For the child." she said as she rubbed her stomach
>and that there is the story of my life; me, Jake Abernathy. Former military soldier, now a grand adviser and husband of High Lady Solana Petren. The elven nation now under democratic government rule under both man and elf is doing pretty well and me and my wife are eager for our soon to come child, or children.
End. And despite the Warhammer fanart at >>46322794
Nah, this ain't a take on warhammer.
So what ya think /tg?
>>46324753
>>46325523
I think >>46324753 might be refering to the male human character at >>46322794
I'd say that guy's lucky to have a highborn elf giving love like that.
>>46325559
I forgot it took place on Not!Earth when I was responding to that, but point kinda stands. If they even hear about elves they might just be from popular fantasy books or movies or what have you, which tend to be sanitized for mass-appeal (at least the movies tend to be, books are a mixed bag).
>>46325236
>looking at that /tg-tier Warhammer draw/fanart
Wow hunky-hot LIVVI and qt looking daemonette aside, Talds got some big tits. Does Taldeer really have Dick Silos that big?
>>46325588
its a rule of thumb that elf women have nice and or tig 'ol bitties. Taldeer; being a space elf, is no exception.
That or, any excess fat on female elves will go to their ass and boobs.
>>46319493
>>46321265
>>46321089
>>46325617
Yes, love elves. WE ALL LOVE ELVES.
>>46325657
OF COURSE!
>be little lost human boy child
>you're lost in the woods 'cause you wonder too far from sight of people, such as your family
>you're so lost and deep in the woods the chances of you ever being found and reunited with your parents is abysmal
>almost two hours your bawl and cry and suddenly two incredibly beautiful elf ladies appear and approach you
>they take pity in you and start comforting you, they decide to adopt or take you is their own
>you stop crying 'cause one of them is an avid spellcaster who casts a Calming Spell at you. The spell is so effective you forgot that you're a lost child who had parents
>years have passed and you're now a teenager of 16
>the two elf ladies fell its time to tell you that they're actually royal court members and that they've arranged a marriage for you to be with the Elven Princess
>you and the elf princess get married and rule the kingdom together with great prosperity and have hybrid children
>life's pretty good... What's that? You have an actual human family? Nah probably just your imagination.
>>46325657
>>46325875
>>46326467
Even the Space Nuns love some sweet 'n delicious elf boy (Eldar) shotas.
>>46319923
remains me of that CK2 warhammer mode
where i captured a darkelfe made a concubine for 4 generation befor she was killed
Why yes I love elves!
>>46319292
Show that you are of noble and wise heart, that your valor and courage are unbreakable. If you stand with us, unfaltering against the tide of evil, you will earn our respect and perhaps even our friendship.
Ignore them beyond any formal business.
They've known a dozen generations before you and will know a dozen more after you die, and while you age and become senile, they will simply turn away and continue on as they have always done.
>le thread about elf
>>46319711
>>46320135
>>46320879
>>46323451
"The Hoomans love us. Yes! All according to plan."
>>46326522
>A Filipino/Filipina Commissar
"Maling pananampalataya! MALING PANANAMPALATAYA!!!"
>befriendable ones
>>46327018
>>46327018
>>46327018
>>46326960
Who said they're Pinoy?
>>46325533
>what do some us think?
Well wrtiefag anon. Are you gonna make more? 'Cause now I'am curious to see what'll happen to the rest of the world. I mean you did mention some exposition here and there in which the world your story takes place in a modern-age world where elves, magic and other fantasy elements exist.
And so many world building and lore related questions I wana ask like; even if that Abernathy guy and the elf lady never encountered would the war result in human victory despite the elves' magic due to superior firepower? What is the new Elven-Human democratic government like?
Would you make more?
>>46327217
>Who said they're Pinoy?
I meant a commissar who so happens to have South Eastern Asian and Philippine heritage.
I mean c'mon? Wouldn't that atleast be a rare possibility? A typical commissar spouting out pinoy slurs at aliens because said commissar in question so happens to have Philippine heritage and has a family back in Terra who're all pinoy.
>>46326467
>>46326960
how 'bout no. Not that the idea is stupid but well... Have you heard how pinoys sound like when trying to dub English works into Tagalog? Its sound fucking dreadful and painful to watch and listen to.
So dont you dare violate Wahammer with such horrible sounding heresy.
>>46327018
![ed3a0810-e88b-42c4-8eeb-4351507b2e7d__635fd49d1214b77b13eeb940be14504b[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/bWvr58O.jpg "ed3a0810-e88b-42c4-8eeb-4351507b2e7d__635fd49d1214b77b13eeb940be14504b[1].jpg")
>>46327018
Have an elf archer babe then.
>>46327018
Screw your copious amounts of smooth and frilly elf girl pics.
Have some hardened male elves!
>>46319292
>How'd any of you try to befriend with one?
Simple, just the same way as I'd do when socializing with fellow humans.
-Talk about interests, hobbies, common goals, and studies.
Share studies (be it arcane magic-crap or scientific and technological studies), share culture, share traditions for the sake of anthropology.
Share jokes and make fun and self-aware jokes about one another.
And most of all, be kind and friendly to one (and respect) another.And maybe even try romance, go dating and have some sweet and wonderfully delicious kinky sex with the elven babes
>>46327720
Keep going. If I had access to my elves folder I would have already dumped some male elf warriors.
>>46329009
Not that anon so frilly elf girl warrior gonna have to do.
>>46329787
That's a compromise no one would be happy with.
>>46326467>end up lost in the deep woods as a little boy
>found and adopted as a communal son by MILFy elves who pinch your cheeks and cuddle you
>grow up
>they're worried about your recent behavior
>why don't you want to sit in mommy's lap and drink her milk?
>won't let you leave
>it's not safe for a young boy after all
>realize they struggle to understand human lifespans and perception of time
