What are some curses that are a lot worse than they sound?
You can speak no lies
You are always tired
Numbness
>>48327549
That's just life.
>>48327504
Your dick turns into a donkey dick.
The Hand of Galochio.
>>48327504
Breast expansion.
>>48327504
You may never kill again.
Have fun going vegan, and good luck walking outdoors without a broom and good eyesight.
>>48327504
One of the first encounters in my campaign is a dick sorcerer who sells jank magic items. One item is a ring of feather fall but every few hours the player has a chance to trip. Players cant take off the ring once they put it on.
>>48327572
>>48327504
Whenever you have to take a leak, you'll always get the urge to sneeze.
Have fun trying to not make a mess everytime.
>>48327580
Make that a gorilla dick
>>48327634
Would you have to go vegan? As long as you don't kill any animals personally, you should still be able to eat it.
Not being able to step on anything is a pretty good one, though.
>>48327634
>Have fun going vegan
You didn't say "can't benefit from killing", so I will eat animals that are already dead.
If that's what you meant, by the same logic I can't eat plants or anything that was once alive or will die from being digested either, so that's a very cruel curse.
>>48327634
But what about the bacterias that die within your body
>>48327504
You are irresistably sexually-attractive to everything capable of feeling sexual attraction.
>>48327634
What about veganism killing my street cred?
>>48327504
The curse of gold addiction. At first you think "I already have that" but this curse makes you so addicted you couldn't bare to part with your gold mean you can't spend a single coin.
Inability to speak
I always just have a brief giggle when I get banned from 4chan or muted in a video game, but then I find myself trying to communicate every minute
>>48328111
Have you considered not being a cunt in the first place?
>>48328135
I've never deserved a 4chan ban, and in video game it's usually a self mute (my rank can mute but not unmute)
>>48327504
Everything you scratch turns to stone
You are compelled to do the opposite of what you want.
>no rain will ever fall within 1000 miles of you
>>48327504
Lets go for a classic - May you live in Interesting Times
>>48327524
Depends on what you mean by lies. I can tell the truth but still leave out information, not to mention saying things that are inherently true to the situation but are invalid without context.
>>48327680
I shouldn't have laughed at this. Why are clowns so funny?
>>48327942
Awesome, now I won't be lying when I say I have to beat the ladies off with a stick.
>>48328900
>Awesome, now I won't be lying when I say I have to beat the ladies off with a stick.
And all the guys, and all the animals.
Your most likely fate is being gang-raped by a hundred thugs plus their pet dogs, and then taken as a sex-slave by some local badass.
You have a dick that makes your partner instantly orgasm.
>>48327504
May you get what you deserve
May you come to the attention of those with power
May you live in interesting times
>>48327504
You will step on a Lego at least once a day.
>>48327504
Everything you drink tastes like lemonade.
>>48327504
you can not hear voices.
>>48327504
You will never be comfortable.
You will always be the best member of the party, at everything.
You can only eat a specific food once, once you've had it you can never eat that food again.
>>48327595
What is that from?
>>48327524
That's not as bad as You Must Always Tell Lies.
Logic puzzles ho!
>>48327719
Is it better to have one so small no one will take you seriously or one so big that no one will ever have you?
>>48327504
Marriage
>>48327504
You will live in interesting times.
>>48329065
>wear shoes
>legos begin appearing in your shoes
>>48327524
Won't stop a wizard.
>>48329404
>so big that no one will ever have you?
This one, easy. You'll at least get novelty points and laughed at, rather than just laughed at.
>would you rather be inferior naturally, or inferior through unnatural means?
>>48328981
Shit fetish, Anon. I'm not entering your magical realm
>>48329080
That would get really awful after a while.
You poop a tiny bit every time you lie, no matter how small the lie is. The bigger the lie, the bigger the shit.
>>48329706
You'll never worry about constipation, though.
>>48328807
You know how easy that would be to abuse? Holy shit man, just have a wizard with a portal to a fresh water lake on hand, then just siege every castle you want, you literally keep it from raining, and with your wizard friend you have all the water you want whenever you or your armor wants. All plants, vegetables and plants, all wells that your enemy might have will dry up, and I have a feeling that medieval fantasy castles aren't exactly filled with high level wizards or filled with bottle water.
>>48329343
Maoyuu Maou Yuusha
>>48329706
depends on what the curse does if you got no stool left in your body
I had an idea for a character that was cursed "to never stay in the same place."
The wording is vague enough he can rest for a bit, but he can't ever "stay." In a city he'd have to change inns every night or so, and he couldn't stay in the city as a whole for more than week before being forced to move on.
You can't refuse anyone who says "please" when they ask something of you.
>>48327642
I expected something more entertaining when i read the phrase "dick sorcerer".
>>48327524
Wow, killed it with the best one in the first post...
Psychologically speaking that is straight brutality.
>>48329686
I don't think so, drink anything exclusively and eventually it'll go down like water and you'll barely taste it
You are the best dick sucker in the worldthe world, the world, the world...
>>48327524
Is this really that bad? Currently I play an oni, who can tell no lies.
Actually all oni society is based on never telling lies. Lies are grounds for capital punishment.
Ive had no problems thus far
>>48327504
To never finish anything.
>>48329404
Big one. There are at least some women who'd give it a try just to see if they could, and you'll probably get a handjob or something out of it once they give up. Just get good at eating bitches out. The main hassle would be functioning in ordinary society in non-sexual contexts, because even flaccid your dick is so big that it's impossible to ignore.
If you go with the small one, you're spared the awkward social situations, but you still have to rely on your hands, tongue, and/or toys - and you need to somehow get enough women interested that you can get a reputation for it. The novelty dick kickstarts that process for you, while the tiny one forces you to find a way of getting a reputation for being a sex god in spite of your penis.
>>48327504
Anytime you get hard "Finna Bust A Nut" by Filthy Frank plays out loud at about the volume of your phone at max volume.
>>48327634
scavengers don't need to kill their food
>>48332763
"Hey, got any embarrassing fetishes?"
>>48333209
Silence isn't a lie.
>>48333209
Not being able to lie doesn't mean you have answer every question asked of you, anon.
>>48332763
>>48327524
i feel like that curse could be A LOT better if it was "you must always give the correct answer to a question"
>>48327634
Well you're fucked because your immune system no longer works.
>>48328900
> Awesome, now I won't be lying when I say I have to beat the ladies off with a stick.
Try:
> Drowning in a swarm of vermin that are busy humping you.
>>48331002
Being able to only lie might be worse. If nobody catches on you are a shifty asshole. If people catch on it has the same flaws as only telling the truth.
Of course being able to only say X necessitates that you must use the proper tone or else you can just use sarcasm to imply truth or lies.
>>48329053
>>48332446
Spot the Oglaf readers.
>>48327807
You don't need to kill animals to eat them and that goes double for plants. Grapes and shit don't need to kill the plant to pick the fruit. Also you could always eat limbs of animals. As long as the animal receives proper treatment you are fine.
>>48327504
You lose one of the following.
The ability to feel boredom.
The ability to dream.
The ability to be selfless.
The ability to be selfish.
You will always remember everything.
You'll listen to your favorite song forever.
>>48333294
>>48333270
Still a lie by omission.
You have infinite endurance, but you can never stop moving.
>>48327634
You break that geas just by existing for about a quarter of a second as your immense body heat fries some bacteria that drifted your way.
>>48333604
So if it stops being your favourite song after repeated hearings, do you stop hearing it until you have a new favourite song that just replaces it?
>>48327719
Don't gorillas have the smallest dicks out of all the prime apes?
>>48333651
After you grow tired of it, then it goes to your next favorite then it repeats.
>>48333611
>lie by omission
It's simply omission. They didn't tell anything, that isn't the same as telling a non-truthful fact.
>>48333611
The fact that you have to qualify it like that means it isn't really a lie.
>>48333209
Even if you had to answer, just saying "yes" doesnt mean anything, your not lying and you are answering the question to the fullest, your just not elaborating; only after the asker goes through every possible fethish they could think of ("do you like X") would they find out anything. That is of course if you need to answer those questions and dont just walk away, even if you cant leave you also learn information about the questioner due to their order of questioning
-Must never stop walking
-you hear everything within 100m from you at all times
-you have sever tenitus
>>48328057
It also gives you curly hair and a big pointy nose
You have irresistible urge to beat people who lie to you.
Good luck in relationship and with polititians.
>>48329126
this one is good. real clever. regular auditory senses work, but voices are excepted, that becomes maddening at some point, i gotta imagine.
>>48327504
whenever you get a boner a loud voice announces the fact
and you aren't allowed to say what it is that gave you a boner.
>>48333896
Are you twelve?
>>48327524
Take a vow of silence.
>>48333920
Pretty sure a curse is going to overpower a self-imposed vow.
24 times a day during your waking hours, you will load and uncontrollably say whatever you're thinking about at the time.
>>48328733
I think I caught this.
>>48327504
You're the best at giving blowjobs in the world.
>>48333914
suddenly pop a stiffy because of a hot chick working at the daycare you went to to pick up for kid? congratulations you're now a suspected pedophile.
>>48333968
fuck me the levels of typos in my explanation, I concede my point and hang my head in shame
>>48333968
Not really making a great case for yourself vis-a-vis the whole 'Are you twelve' argument there, friendo.
>>48333948
read the fucking thread oglaf.
>>48333976
keep me posted
>>48333611
A lie by omission means you selectively omit facts to draw the person you're speaking to into an incorrect conclusion.
Straight up silence isn't a lie by omission, it's just silence.
>>48328057
You're cursed to acquire more gold than you can ever possibly spend in your lifetime.
You immediately find a single ordinary gold coin.
>>48333209
"I refuse to dignify that with a response."
>>48334036
Anon, have you considered becoming a Lawyer?
>>48334115
And then the ENTIRE economy fucking tanks to where gold is worthless and everyone wants barter instead.
>>48334139
Briefly in middle school because of a nickname (I have the word 'law' in my name), but never seriously.
Being a stickler for definitions and a purveyor of pedantry only gets you so far.
>>48334175
But most modern currency is fiat and is not backed by gold reserves.
Gold is also a valuable commodity in the computing world, so something would have to have gone seriously wrong for its value to tank so hard (unless people all over the globe just found loads of it and flooded the market, I guess).
>>48334036
This. The crux of the lie comes from deception.
A crazy ax murderer asks you where your son is so he can kill him.
"I don't know" is a lie
"I'm not gonna fucking tell you" is not a lie.
The Curse of Exploding into One Million Billion Pieces Curse.
It's actually no worse than the Curse of Exploding into One Thousand Billion Pieces Curse, when you think about it.
The curse of shitting cacti with really long needles. you never get use to it.
>>48334218
> I'm not gonna fucking tell you
> Implying I will not torture you, use you as bait, or search your possessions to find out where your son is.
> Implying I won't get what I want.
>>48334265
>One Thousand Billion
I think you mean a trillion, senpai
>>48333583
Why would anyone want to feel boredom? It's literally the worst part about sapience.
I would pay to get rid of that shit.
>>48334337
Yes you know numbers congratulations.
>>48334343
I think the implication is that it's replaced with something worse, but there's not really a good reason it wouldn't simply be replaced by something better.
>>48334334
>Implying I wouldn't rip out your testicles and shove them down your throat
A no-lies policy is not for the weak. It is only for the strongest.
>>48334343
While likely not the only motivation, it can be considered a good reason to try new things (at least after trying the same thing repeatedly). How quickly you become bored and at what things and to what degree might be interesting to change, but boredom itself being excised would probably very quickly lead to stagnation.
>>48334354
well you clearly don't
>>48334391
Wanting to try new things is not motivated exclusively or even primarily by boredom. It's basically the worst, most self destructive impulse to follow.
Furthermore, being unable to be bored does not preclude you from wanting to have fun.
>>48327504
You will outlive your children
>>48334554
>keep having kids
>immortality
Nice desu
>>48334566
No anon they just start dying faster as you near death.
>>48334554
Is it only by blood relation? Do step children count?
What about the adopted?
>>48334477
>implying the reason that folk/country music as a whole genre doesn't exist
what else are you going to do on the trail except work over lyrics? The same can be said of all poets, going back even to the Greeks.
Boredom is important.
>>48334716
Yeah, this. Boredom forces a man to answer the question "what would I rather be doing?". Take away boredom and what's the motivation to do anything once a single fun thing has been found?
>need for variety
Which stems from boredom.
>>48334566
>>48334702
the point is this does not mean you get to live any longer, and if you actually like your children instead of being a complete psycopath, burying your children makes you sad.
>>48334670
I think the implication here is that any and all kids you have will die in some fashion before you do. Not that you can game the system to live forever. What are you, some kind of lich?
>>48334764
Yeah that's what I was getting at. The more kids you have when you are old then they are going to start dying younger and younger.
>>48334747
Well if it's not technically my kid then it's not going to die of the curse. So I'll just adopt or some other shit.
People will never laugh at your jokes.
Either they believe the joke wasn't funny or they get offended instead, or they think you were being serious and not making a joke.
Being unable to feel physical intimacy.Not that a lot of people on 4chan can remember what that's like to begin with.
>>48333789
Or if you were compelled to answer them they could just not be retarded and ask "Oh, so what are the names of all your emberassing fetishes?" rather than having to list them all one by one. And "learning something about the questioner"? Really? At most you'd probably learn what fetishes they think are most ridicule-worthy, which isn't at all useful.
>>48334934
>Being unable to feel physical intimacy
>A curse that is a lot worse than it sounds
Retard.
>>48327504
Being immortal ?
>>48327504
Here is a good curse for that Maori Face mask. Putting stones into a flintlock musket makes you cry about white people for a century and a half.
>>48327634
>vegan
eating has nothing with killing.
Otherwise, we bludgeons and non-lethal takedowns now.
>>48328840
Beat me to it you shit
> May you always be late with your thoughts
The man who invents a wondrous new machine even a second after it is invented by another, merely copies the first inventor
You can't feel pain.
>>48335020
>>48335085
How original.
>>48335095
What does immortality have to do with feeling pain?
>>48335095
Geez.
How about you are haunted by every enemy you kill ?
>>48335123
How did you misread into a post that much?
Neither idea is original. There is no relation, nor does there need to be.
>>48335131
If it's common enough to be defined as "regret", its' probably not original.
>>48335145
Well then come up with something and contribute if you're idea is so much better.
>>48334175
I thought that just meant that he was going to die almost immediately. As in, 'a lifetime so short, even a single gold coin is more than you could possibly spend'
>>48327504
>may you live in interesting times
>you will teach others' children
>may gods bestow you with many children
>>48335197
That was the point, yes. You'll never make it back to a shop to spend it.
>>48327504
the curse of all that you ever wish for in any way shape or form happens.
>>48327580
Then you just fuck donkeys.
>>48335165
Love this response. Do you think anyone ever asked where Ebert's movie was, in his entire time reviewing them?
Hell, even Socrates did this. His entire debate style was pointing out why something was wrong or didn't work. He didn't give his own solution, because you're supposed to figure that out yourself or you're not growing as a person.
>where's your game?
Canned response.
>>48334747
>not using your curse to the fullest
>not legally adopting the big bad and all his minions with the help of the local ruler
>not laughing as your enemies try to find ways to extend your lifespan
>not jumping off of cliffs or into monster dens and seeing how fast they come to save you
It's like you don't WANT to have fun.
>>48335237
I'm gonna bite the bullet here, but you're spending you're time here arguing about semantics and you still haven't even contributed to the thread in any meaningful way,. If you really want to critique stuff so badly just go update your yelp page fag.
>>48335237
Socrates presented the best possible way to get rid of cranky old shits like himself, or you. Why don't you go ahead with what he did?
>>48335296
>you still haven't even contributed to the thread in any meaningful way
Anon, I could link any dozen posts, but there's no way to prove that any of them are or are not me. I specficially did not link my post(s) because, and excuse the buzzword, I've seen the fallacy you presented so many times that I could not let it pass.
My contributions should have no bearing on my ability to point out things that are not contributions.
>>48335237
>>48335394
>Hell, even Socrates did this. His entire debate style was pointing out why something was wrong or didn't work.
>He didn't give his own solution, because you're supposed to figure that out yourself or you're not growing as a person.
Fuck it, I'm just ripping it from Wikipedia:
>The perfect solution fallacy is a related informal fallacy that occurs when an argument assumes that a perfect solution exists or that a solution should be rejected because some part of the problem would still exist after it were implemented.
Basically, you're telling a random stranger on the internet that there are better answers to the OP, so his answer isn't valid, when it does in fucking fact answer the question, despite being unoriginal.
So blow it out your ass, because being immortal can in fact be a curse when you spend the better half of a century trying to remember your name and what day it is because you're trapped in a never-ending time vortex no human has ever suffered the scale of.
Goddamn.
>>48335394
So then just link them. Anyhow to me you're even worse than unoriginal because you didn't even bother to try.
>>48327504
You must consume your bodyweight in food each day or else you will feel stomach cramps that increase in intensity each day you do not consume your weight.
You cannot get around this by eating half one day and the rest tomorrow, it has to be done all in one day.
You can still feel hunger and satiety and even illness from over-eating but you will never die from over or under-eating but you will still gain weight.
There is no hard-limit on how intense the pain from the cramps can get.
I'm my opinion, there's nothing wrong with providing unsolicited critiques to thread contribution without contributing oneself.
Critiques are actually a form of contribution and should be encouraged.
That said, a two word insult of a shitpost is not a critique, is not worthy of response, and is likely the work of a worthless shitrooster.
>>48327504
Everything you try to communicate comes out in a caustically sarcastic tone.
>>48335407
Except that these are not new ideas. There is nothing to discuss about them. This is not a calculative problem that you can simply plug a set answer into and be "correct".
It would be like someone asking for fantasy lit recommendations and being told to read the likes of Harry Potter, Narnia, Dark Tower, or other well known fantasy. These responses should be a given. There is no reason to post them. Immortality as a curse is even already exists in D&D as Lichdom, where this arcane manifestation of immortality corrupts the mind and reduces the being to a husk of what it once was.
That is the underlying argument. Why are we having calculative thought discussions in a thread clearly given to meditative thought? We should be pondering questions of Why rather than just filling in the blank.
>>48335459
take a look at http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/47999373/#47999882
You see those five initial responses essentially just telling a different viewpoint of piss off, before the next set of responses all respond in a way that ended up giving at least a hundred posts of discussion? If you're going to respond negatively, there's nothing worse than trying to shut the conversation down because you don't want to hear it.
>>48333826
Oh you
>>48335488
How does this sound Elbert.
Every weapon is three pounds heavier.
>>48327504
People will constantly mistake you for someone else, even if they've known you for their whole lives and you have proof of your identity.
>>48328900
>I shouldn't have laughed at this. Why are clowns so funny?
I'm glad I'm not the only person here to have a chuckle. Most people are immediately creeped out
>>48335513
Does this affect weapons once they leave the afflicted's hand? If not, numbers and system depending, thrown weapons should deal more damage due to F = ma, because depending on how things are calculated, acceleration will not change. In D&D for example, a thrown dagger and a thrown spear still both receive the same STR mod, even though the mass of the projectile is different.
I'm thinking that if the system doesn't account for that extra weight somehow, it just ends up being an encumbrance problem solved by carrying less weapons, and do players really ever use more than three weapons outside of specialists?
Quantify the curse as a -1 while using the weapon or the like, and maybe it would be something. I don't know if that's exactly a curse that's "worse than it sounds" .
Am I overlooking something?
>>48335517
>the rogue is "cursed" with this
>>48333209
I'm not answering that.
You are incapable of being alone. You must be near other people at all times.
>>48335696
Is this a fate-based curse, where the stars align to always have someone with you, even if you run to the ends of the earth?
Otherwise I don't see how this could be enforced. Does the victim suffer panic attacks from isolation? If we're going down that route, why make it a curse, since Remove Curse will then lift it? Why not just make it genuine psychological trauma instead of making it not!Psychological trauma?
real talk though:
is always telling the truth
or
always telling lies
worse?
>>48335738
>ITT: Curses
>why make it a curse, since Remove Curse will then lift it?
How suck the fun out of a thread: the post.
Your pants will randomly fall off thrice daily.
Or if your pants have a zipper it will catch your scrotum just a little bit.
>>48327942
Reminds me of a web novel I read once where the main character was so sexually attractive that a whole city fell in 6 months because they orgied themselves to death, as did anyone neighbouring cities sent to check on them, the protagonist died over a hundred times by then because immortality sucks like that.
>>48335784
Ooh.
"You will trip over your sack once, each day."
By which, it means your scrotum.
Roll a reflex save every time you unzip or zip your fly. Every pair of trousers you ever wear attempts to mangle your goods, and no amount of ablative protection will resolve the issue.
>>48335917
Use trousers that have buttons instead of a zip. Problem solved.
>>48333209
I don't find them embarrassing.
>>48335296
>>48335320
>>48335407
Not that guy, but said anon DOES have a point.
Just saying "Well, uh, uh, where's YOUR response?!?!?!?" isn't exactly mentally or emotionally stimulating, as far as intelligent dialogue goes. At least try and engage him on an equal playing field.
>inb4 where do you think we are?
Stfu, nerd. Talking about fantasy and scifi and shit is serious business.
>>48335953
Huh
the buttons repeatedly come loose and on long dangling strings, attempt to strangle your manhood.
>>48328733
That is called OCD.
>>48334747
>instead of being a complete psycopath
Psychopaths can love their children even if its as a narcissistic extension of themselves.Do I post Cersei or Trump here?
>>48335984
I can live with that.
Your body evenly distributes damage over itself. This does not end when the part has become separate from the whole.
>>48333968
so you are twelve
>>48335271
The curse doesn't say you outlive all your children
You will live in interesting times.
>>48335487
>Everything you try to communicate comes out in a caustically sarcastic tone.
That's a real spooky curse you got there, anon.
>>48329423
this
>>48333209
I wink and walk away.Right no lies. I sweat and run away in panic.
>>48329468
>wake up
>time to put on my shoes
>ow, what the hell
>>48334930
Sounds like hell.
>>48329065
Just have a lego brick lying by your bedside, and each morning gently and carefully step on. BTFO curse
You must browse 4chan for an hour a day.
>>48336234
No more, no less?
>>48336170
>That's a real spooky curse you got there, anon.
It’s the caustic part that really makes it worse.
Imagine never being able to actually convey what you want to, all the while you sound exactly like virt.
>>48336266
Virt gets a bad rap, he just lashes out because he has no friends, is suicidal, can't stop posting idiotically in a plea for attention he can only masochistically gain from the scorn and derision of others as he cannot be noticed otherwise; and smells bad.
>>48327504
The curse of an interesting life.
>>48334354
Ah the arcane art of knowing that a thousand is less than million.
>>48329060
May some of your wishes be granted
>>48336304
>Virt gets a bad rap, he just lashes out because he has no friends, is suicidal, can't stop posting idiotically in a plea for attention he can only masochistically gain from the scorn and derision of others as he cannot be noticed otherwise; and smells bad.
Then there's his really bad traits on top of all that too.
But you're right, we should really pity the cursed.
>>48336170
That's just called being a brit bong nerd.
>>48336234
>>48336243
I want to ask the same question. Because it doesn't seem like you're putting a limit on how many hours I can spend here on my own free time.
(24, mom...I'm going to be spending 24 hours on here, all year long.)
>>48331002
Not at all, believe it or not but I almost never lie. I either leave out information, refuse to answer or give an answer that is vague and could be interpreted in a couple of ways.
>>48336545
Also if it's just 1 hour I wonder how it works.
Your hour starts... now.
Or does it take your breaks into account.
3 minutes there, add another 5 minutes there.
>>48333209
"Yes. Do you?"
>>48335805
Do you still remember the name of it?
>>48329482
To be fair, you pretty much have to throw her in a demiplane of near-omnipotent furries to even slow her down.
>>48336732
Here ya go, I don't guarantee for the quality of it:
https://taidadonotranslations.wordpress.com/hakai-me-no-yuuri/chapter-01/
>>48327504
Taste buds in your asshole.
>>48329053
Women can have multiple orgasms for a reason, anon.
>>48329934
Blood.
>>48327504
>You can only speak in rhyming couplets
>The faster you react to something, the stronger your reaction becomes
>All feeling you experience become 10 times stronger
>You'll never get what you deserve
>You can never say the same sentence twice in your lifetime
>You'll never feel anger again
>No one can lie to you
>You must always do be doing something productive (but never become tired)
>You shapeshift randomly into another human every time you wake up
Pick one
>>48327504
You always feel dead inside.
>>48335068
Please just kill them instead of eating them alive.
>>48337153
>>No one can lie to you
How is this bad?
>>48329706
Finally women would stop faking orgasms.
>>48336998
Mild social anxiety.
>>48333116
>mfw
>>48333116
>To never finish anything.
>>48337227
I know that feel.
I never finish anything that I
>>48337249
Same here, I have yet to finish anything in
>>48337014
14% of them, anon. Only 14%. That's actually lower than the number of men who can have multiple orgasms (15% - 20%).
http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/research/ak-data.html
I don't know where this pop culture idea comes from that not only all women can have multiple orgasms, but that they're the only ones who can do it.
>>48327634
Wait, you didn't say anything about having other people kill for me, or eating what's already dead. So I quit my job at the slaughthouse. BIg deal.
You now attract small animals that love you.
The catch?It's always animals that you have a phobia of.Have fun having snakes slithering around you when you're sleeping, looking for warmth. Or spiders installing their nest in your hair.
I just horrified myself.
>>48327504
The itch
You are always itchy, not so much that it hurts, but it's always noticeable. The itch will go away when you scratch it, but will return someplace else a short while after.
>>48337587
>read this
>start scratching my balls
>then scratch my arm
>then my forehead
I
AM
CUUUUUUURSED
>>48337572
The only animal I can say I have a phobia of is horses, and they aren't small.
>>48337613
>implying that'll stop them
They'll just evolve.
>>48337572
I strongly dislike cockroaches, does that count?
Curse of clumsiness. You know those days when you just cant hold something, always falling out of your hand, every glass you put down falls over and breaks, you go to pour your drink but misses the glass, you are leaving in a hurry to work and you lock your car keys in the house, you cannot find your wallet and the check for dinner is being handed to you, ect?
That shit. I cannot deal with that shit when millions of little things mess up. I'd take a curse of dragon swarms over a curse of clumsiness.
>>48337636
Okay, saying "small animals" was a mistake.
But spiders count, so cockroaches do too.
>>48337621
>tiny, hamster-size horses swarming out of a horse burrow
By the light, how horrifying.
>>48337613
>The only animal I can say I have a phobia of is horses, and they aren't small.
Small enough to crawl into your bed at night while you're sleeping, waiting for your most peaceful moment to use their teeth.
>>48337689
Holy shit this is ADORABLE
>>48337572
I already have a wife.
>>48337858
Polygamy, anon.
>>48327504
The greatest curse of all?
More of what you thought you wanted.
>>48337689
no plz
>>48329404
13 hours late but chicks take donkey dick all the time. They even upgrade to actual stallions as well. You know those bad dragon dildoes that are like 8 times wider than a coke can? Chicks tank those bastards all the time. Seriously go visit tijuana sometime if just for the experience.
>>48337591
Oh fuck. I just read the head bit and imagine lice and now i'm itchy. Its contagious!
>>48336848
Thank you so much man.
>>48327504
You are stuck in an open relationship.
Your life becomes similar to a bad hentai.You are the woman.
>>48327572
Always tired isn't just live, its lack of iron, B vitamins, lack of sleep, immune issues, and or such things.
Well, its life to a lot of people, but doesnt have to be.
>>48329449
Oh god... this, or marriage, and many times a long term relationship.
Already regretting mine.
Nothing like having your entire existence chained up in consideration for a "loved one".
screw relationships, going back to just FWB as before.
>>48335020
Depends on what this means.
Immortal by definition just means you cannot age/die of natural causes, but you can still die.
This, is perfectly fine.
Being utterly indestructible, not so much.
>>48327504
Every time you drink anything, you will spill some of it on yourself
>>48338145
I am. It's actually quiet enjoyable.my girlfriend is so full of social anxiety and obsession with me she doesn't have the ability to go out on her own and if she ever managed it she wouldn't know how to interact without seeming like a crazy. if she somehow blasted past all of that she'd freeze up on actually taking them up on the offer cause she'd think it would dissapoint or upset me.
I honestly don't think i could go back to normal relationships after this.
>>48337169
Jokes on you, I already got that one.
>>48338333
So do I. That's why I look so cheerful all the time.
>>48338213
Different anon. I have almost terminal narcolepsy. Shit sucks. Brightside i get so little REM sleep i need an hour tops to "recharge" assuming i'm not physically tired.
Downside? Life generally sucks and i have WAY to much time on my hands.
>>48338330
Quite* fuck you too phone.
You cannot feel sadness.
>>48338443
WAY past you. Now everything is this delightful shade of depression.
>>48333302
define correct answer.
Since "Tell me what is the result of 1+1" can be any answer ranging to "the answer to a shitty pre-school math problem" up to "2"
You exist in two realities at the same time.
>>48338537
Cool. Now pray to god no doors are at opposing faces of an otherwise square room and carry a sledgehammer with you at all times.
>>48327524
What's so bad about this one? Is everyone on /tg/ just a bunch of lying bullies? There is rarely ever a reason to lie in real life.
>>48327504
You can't take a crap unless your ass is higher than your head.
>>48338592
>There is rarely ever a reason to lie in real life.
You lack a lot of social skills.
>>48333583
>The ability to dream.
Do you mean literal dreams that happen while you sleep, or some vapid euphemism for desire without ambition?
You can get used to having no "dreams" in the "follow your dreams" sense, but people have died from losing the biological process that causes dreams during sleep.
>>48338592
Lies are what make society and social interactions work.
>>48338621
And you lack genuine friends.
>>48335394
>there's no way to prove that any of them are or are not me.
It's like newfags don't know how to detect samefags.
On topic: the curse of living with knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that every effort you have or will ever put forth will make precisely zero difference in the world around you.
>>48327504
Knowing everything.
Lovecraft talked about that a lot.
>>48338674
And you lack focus!
