The elves of this setting are now Slavs.
The dwarfs are Dutch.
The goblins are Polynesian.
The merpeople are Canadian.
The fauns are Mexican.
The trolls are from Seattle.
The humans are Greek.
The minotaurs are from the Deep South.
The giants are Jewish.
IN A WORLD WHERE ALTERNATIVE CULTURAL STEREOTYPES HAVE BEEN USED IN LIEU OF ORIGINAL CONTENT, WHAT JOKES COULD BE PREDICTED?
>Slav elves
Rowlings?
>Mexican fauns
Del Toro?
>Deep South Minotaurs
Fenoxo?
>Greek humans
Now you're just being unbelievable
>>48304902
>The merpeople are Canadian.
something something, the punchline is cuckoldry
>>48305640
Isn't the original story of merpeople cuckoldery from Denmark, though? They even acknowledge it in the manga (weirdly, you rarely if ever see Danish merpeople).
>>48305621
Oh, and
>Seattle Trolls
insert Shadowrun joke
>>48305640
>horizontal tail fin implies mammal
>six limbs (counting tailfin)?
>gills
This mermaid is incorret
>>48305621
>Mexican fauns
Well, they're lazy, rapacious, and criminal, aren't they...
>>48305707
>El Mariachi hides his guns inside his pan pipes, one in each pipe
>>48305697
The horizontal tail fin has been a part of virtually every interpretation of the little mermaid, though.
>>48304902
>>48305724
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPMavTIaqhw
>>48305784
I meant that the mermaid in that image is anatomically wrong for a supposed mammalian
>>48305845
And I said that's clearly intentional, since she's supposed to be a callback to that story.
Requesting that "/tg/ is out from team mermaid" image
the one with kratos
>Elves
Endless resource of comedy no matter what they do.
>Dwarves
Taller than you'd expect
>Goblins
Irrelevant fat layabouts
>Merpeople
Exceedingly pleasant to the point where no-one takes them seriously.
>Faun
Society barely works anyway so they just take narcotics because the situation could hardly get worse.
>Trolls
"My grunge band plays at the coffee shop tonight."
>Humans
Despite extensive use of slavery nothing of tangible value is obtained.
>Minotaurs
Horns like that can't be the result of anything but generations of interbreeding.
>Giants
When you can take on a dozen individuals of any other race in a fight and be unscathed at the end of it the claim of being weak is a hard sell.
>>48304902
But hold on anon we are still missing Africans, East Asians, South Asians, and Muslims.
Ok lets
The Yokai are East Asians
The Genie's are Muslims
The Yaksha are South Asians
The Aziza are Africans
I believe that's everybody. Alright everyone go wild.
>>48305918
>joke
>your head
OPs point was weird combinations, not placing each creature exactly where mythology would. You got the entirety of fantasy literature for that already.
>>48305621
Fenoxo's minotaurs were Texan. Well, Space Texan, anyway.
>>48305621
>>48305963
In Rowlings' defense, her "Slav Elves" are actually less elfish than the vila of actual Slavic folklore, what with their ability to turn into fire throwing harpies when they get angry.
>>48305697
What I'm wondering is how these reproduce. Egg laying? Pouches like with marsupials? Mammalian-like pregnancy?
>>48306087
Going by Monster Musume No Iru Nichijou, the fishtails actually start slightly BELOW the naughty bits, which are just human. So presumably pretty much like humans.
>>48306097
OK, makes sense.
>>48305845
Don't cetaceans have flat tails though?
>>48306300
That's the point. She has scales, but a tailtip that should go on a dolphin.
>>48304902
>canadian hoser merfolk smoking seaweed
>>48304902
>The elves of this setting are now Slavs.
>The merpeople are Canadian.
>The humans are Greek.
>The giants are Jewish.
Dominions 4 has all of those.
>>48306802
That's not in the Dominion 4 I know...
>>48305915
Orks in a grunge band. Oh man just picturing some pierced orc cornering you at a party, not to tear you limb from limb, just to talk about how Alice in chains never caught the same lightning in a bottle they caught on their first album, and that the best pearl Jam album was vitalogythen they rip you limb from limb
>>48306929
I don't know about he canadian merfolk, but the rest sound right.
Might want to take another look, the added a few nations in updates.
>>48306994
Jewish giants?
>>48306929
Vanarus/Bogarus are slav nations founded by Van, which are pretty much Dominions elves.
LA Atlantis fled to Canada after R'lyeh wrecked their shit.
Arcoscephale are Greek humans.
Himmon/Ashdod/Gath are giant nations based on Jewish mythology. Gath units are even named after the twelve tribes of Israel.
>>48307021
Yup. Jewish man eating giants.
Based on jewish lore and the references to angels and humans doing the nasty and creating giants alla Goliath.
Competitively they're supposed to be one of the toughest races.
>>48307033
Hinnom Stronk, Chariots Stronk, Fallen Angels Strokest!
>>48304902
>The trolls are from Seattle.
Portland, actually.
I thought on /tg/ the minotaurs were Jewish?
>>48307145
That was one (very bad) meme thread that spiraled out of control years ago.
>>48307033
Don't the Atlantians basically own all of Dom4's Americas by now? Considering Mictlan and Xibalba.
>>48307245
Indirectly, but yeah. The Muuch are mutated Atlanteans, but they're not actually part of Atlantis anymore and just do their own thing.
>>48307145
>>48307207
It was a surprisingly good idea until NiceDaemonette got all over it.
>>48307665
That seems to be something of a pattern with /tg/'s ideas.
>>48305621
>>Greek humans
>Now you're just being unbelievable
I don't get it.
>>48308259
Casual racism is fun.
>>48308259
Something something, gypsies, something something, Bulgarians.
>>48307054
how does a jewish man eat a giant?
>>48308617
Piece by piece.
>>48308617
I know, right? It's not even Kosher.
>>48308628
What if the giant was circumcised?
>>48308652
I think as long as you don't eat it with cheese, you're fine.
>>48305845
Gold potato award for most autistic post of the day.
>>48308652
You'll have to ask the Rabbi whether a giant counts as "man", because the original Hebrew has been non-specific about whether this refers solely to humans or just to sentient humanoids. If it does, you're out of luck since it's automatically non-Kosher (forbiddance on cannibalism). If a giant is not a human, than you still have to make sure that it:
1. Isn't a meat eater (forbiddance on predators)
2. Has proper hooves
3. Regurgitates its food
4. Was raised by Jews in the proper way from birth
5. Was slaughtered by a Shokheth butcher without feeling pain, then drained of all blood and dried.
At this point, you may eat the giant.
>>48308722
By these rules, Hinnom giants would be right out, and Niefel giants probably too, but eating Fomorian giants might qualify as long as they were both raised and butchered by jews.
>>48304902
>The elves of this setting are now Slavs.
Elves are vampires and crude, degenerate quasi-Russians.
>The dwarfs are Dutch.
Dwarves are conservative, proper, and industrious.
>The goblins are Polynesian.
Goblins are hedonistic, tattooed savages led by very fat men.
>The merpeople are Canadian.
Mermaids and Tritons are very polite and overly tolerant.
>The fauns are Mexican.
Fauns are raucous, simple, and Catholic.
>The trolls are from Seattle.
Trolls are degenerate, opinionated weaklings.
>The humans are Greek.
Humans are hairy and loud, always on the brink of disaster.
>The minotaurs are from the Deep South.
Minotaurs are the lazy, sullen remnants of a fallen aristocracy.
>The giants are Jewish.
Giants are extremely insular and very successful as bards, merchants, and government ministers.
What a weird setting.
>>48306969
>just to talk about how Alice in chains never caught the same lightning in a bottle they caught on their first album
That's true, though. Facelift was amazing.
>>48308808
>Slavs are vampires
This meme has to stop
>>48305918
East Asians are mind flayers.
Muslims are halflings.
South Asians are Yuan-Ti.
Africans are elementals.
>>48309716
SO YOU BE SAYIN' WE WUZ ROCKS N SHEEIT
>>48309623
Are you saying it's not true?
>>48309825
No, Rocks are stable and dependable.
>>48304902
>The elves of this setting are now Slavs.
>>48309937
>Illarnyon, it's your cousin! Why won't you take me bowling?
>>48309976
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxMLVlspD1Y
Oh, the memories...
>>48309937
Holy damn, this is golden.
>Slav Elves
Literally same thing, except all the jokes are about how their homeland is a shitty chunk of ice covered in bears and witches.
>>48309937
I imagine the typical conversation between (Slav) elf and (Dutch) dwarf now consists mostly of the elf being adorably miserable and the dwarf making and remaking ever more clearly how little a shit he gives while trying to walk away.
Minotaurs from the Deep South make no sense, cows don't inbreed voluntarily.
>>48305697
So I'm not the only one bothered by this!
The "can breathe on land as long as her gills are wet" thing also overcomplicates the simplest solution: aquatic mammal. It'd even almost explain why she's humanoid despite living under water.Her straight, white teeth are unrealistic though. To properly consume what's under the sea she'd need fucking nightmare teeth that no sane man would ever want to put his own mouthor genitalsnear. But that wouldn't be cute, so I accept Mero as she isexcept her cuck fetish
>>48310862
Here, have a waifu
>>48304902
>The merpeople are Canadian.
if you drown your enemies they win
>>48310895
>My queen, why should we allow the humans to fish in our waters and potentially lead us to starvation?
>Because it's [the current year]
What is the underwater equivalent of a lumberjack?
Make the minotaurs proper hard Texans and you can have them have shootouts with the Mexican fauns. Shit, I'd play that game.
>>48311030
>Y'here that, pa
>Them godless satyrs come leapin' over that wall to steal our nymphs
>Get the shotgun
>>48311064
So, just like real life?
What kind of drugs do the Faun Cartels push?
And who's crops do their migrants pick?
>>48305697
>It's impossible for a fish to have a horizontal tail fin.
In theory... No.
But /tg/, what about Australians?
>>48315280
We're creating an entirely new setting, why would we want Australians in it?
>>48311834
Wine?
>>48315280
Orcs, of course.
>>48311834
What are you, stupid? Fauns dealgrass
>>48319338
>>48311834
Fairy dust?
>>48319773
Isn't that slang for MDMA?
>>48320353
Totally fits the satyrs
>>48305697
Tail fins are not limbs. Learn to anatomy.
>>48306802
Welp, that's going on my wishlist. Thanks, anon.
>>48308722
Actually, human flesh, while prohibited, is neither Kosher nor non-Kosher, as it is not considered food, and Kashrut only applies to food. Of course, it should be mentioned that even in cases where cannibalism is permitted (say, to avoid starving to death), murder is still prohibited (one may not murder someone even to save one's own life), so it'd have to be someone already dead.
>>48321407
>>48308722
Additionally, I'm pretty sure your point 4 is just wrong. Finally, as an aside, the mermaid posted earlier would probably technically be kosher if assigned animal status, as it has easily visible pectoral and caudal fins, as well as large overlapping scales.
>>48305697
That, or just not naturally evolved.
Honestly, if you're trying to apply evolution as we understand it to monsterfolk, you're barking up the wrong tree in general.
Honestly, I find Seattle trolls to be a pretty funny idea.
>>48321684
Never been anywhere near Seattle, eh?
>>48321684
would canadian merfolk be fresh water?
>>48311014
Weedcutter? Coralhewer?
>>48315280
Monsters contained to their continent
>>48322281
Weedcutters are from Seattle
>>48322361
Or Alaska, with the way the wind's been blowing.
>>48323078
It's been that way for a long time.
Bumping with a weird cultural combination before bed, for the lols
