Greetings one and all! We are the Emperor's most Pathetic Marines, each given a single gift before we departed for our new Chapter Space Hulk-Monastary. Our current Chapter Master is Heavy Bolter Guy.
Relevant posts for those uninitiated:
>>48261306
>>48261603
>>48261886
>>48262129
>>48262411
>>48262759
>>48281441
For those who wish to join in our patheticness, take up a gift!
http://www.miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator
>>48291073
Glorious work Brother
>>48291073
It's perfect.
>>48291163
Thank you fellow Captain!
>>48291073
>Hellfire Shells
Brothers, I come armed with the expended shells of a hellfire round. May I be initiated into your order and accompany you in your crusade against horus?
>>48291073
Battle brothers I have brought gifts of a skyfire flamer!
Heavy Flamer
Additional Traits: Gets Hot, Skyfire
>>48291073
Excellent work Brother-Captain!
>>48291381
Join the Devastators
Even in death, I still stumble.
Patheticnought Neutron Blaster, ready to serve.
Brother-Captain, we seem to have an issue! The Watch is not sure how, but all of our war gear has been stolen! We are not sure how the mysterious phantoms raided the camp, but there is no signs of them! What shall we do, sir?
Brothers I come bearing my humble bolter, may join this crusade.
Boltgun
Additional Traits: unrefined.
>>48292016
You would do well in VI Company.
>>48292005
Damn Warp phantoms!
Patheticnought, go lock the reliquary!
Sergeant, take some of the scouts and try to track the thieves! Keep an eye out always!
>>48291073
Look at it this way:
>1000 Space Marine warp-capable warships
That literally makes the Pathetic Marines the most powerful codex chapter in existence.
Tau Neutron Blaster
18", S 5, AP 3, Assault 1
Additional Traits: Tesla
Any techmarines want to help me figure out how to weaponise this thing?
>>48292203
I can help brother! Bring it here... now... whetre's the on switch...
>>48292203
By the He Who Is Certainly Least Pathetic, you have found a marvelous gift, battle brother!
>>48292251
Well it's Eldar tech so I assume it's the large, phallic-looking object over there...
>>48292172
>1000 Space Marine warp-capable warships
You are oh-so-wrong.
Ever heard of the Bastion of Weakness?
No?
That's our Fortress Monastery.
Do you know what actually is our Fortress?
A Space Hulk.
Do you know how Space Hulks come into being?
By merging via Warp hundreds, or even thousands, of ships.
Now, try to guess why our current fleet ammounts only to 4 strike cruisers and a couple of Battle Barges.
>Meltagun
>Additional Traits: Tank Hunter, Poisoned, Tesla
Who should I give this to?
>>48292328
>Now, try to guess why our current fleet amounts only to 4 strike cruisers and a couple of Battle Barges.
Oh...oh my...
>>48292328
What's the gravity like in there?
>>48292328
Are we going Codex-compliant with our organisation, because I want to know if those fall under my jurisdiction or not.
>>48292380
All over the place
>>48292380
It changes roughly every 40 minutes or so.
>>48292400
We have Thrown Power Fists, scoped Flamers and Necron Staffs of Light.
What do you think? Of course we aren't codex compliant.
Greetings! I am brother tardbasket. I have a combi-melta. What are we doing?
>>48292203
>>48292328
>>48292414
>>48292423
So wait, if we have a webway gate and a teleport homer we can just fiddle the gate so it deploys things to the location of the homer and then just drop tanks through it when the gravity shifts in the right direction
The Gate would need to be grown into the monastery though.
>>48292130
...I have no hands Brother, only a neutron blaster and bolt pistol mounted to the sides of my chassis.
I shall instead become the door itself, PATHETICNOUGHT, BLOCKING DOORWAY!
>>48292172
Be thankful to the Emperor, for your gift is a neutron blaster that doesn't over heat.
>>48292528
>The Gate would need to be grown into the monastery though.
I don't see (HAH!) any problem with that, I mean, we DO have thousands of square kilometers available.
>>48292528
Excellent idea brother! VI and VII Companies, get on that immediately!
Brothers.
I'm currently writing the P.Marines Wiki, and there is one thing bothering me:
We behave like we are in the M41, while we are from the M31.
So, waht do you say about the fact that while we were int the Eye of Terror the time we spent there was warped and a few years for us were actually thousands?
This is a silly way to justify things, but it's not uncommon (e.g. Malodrax, the time travelling pre-DAoT ship in Death of Integrity).
>>48292737
>OOC
As we function, for all intents and purposes, as a more ridiculous version of the Legion of the Damned, I'd say Warp-Fuckery is the way to go. That way we can take the most pathetic marine of every Chapter we come across as a new recruit!
>>48292737
Wait, we were sent to defeat Horus so we must be from M31...
But we are from chapters, implying we are from after the heresy...
Hmm...
We must be from M41 and the Emperor wants us to go back in time and save him from Horus!
>>48292817
YES WE WILL DO THIS
>>48292817
HE, in His foresight, decided to create this unique congregation of warriors, akin, but not as op, as His Grey Knights.
We define ourselves as Chapter today, while he intended us more as an enormous (pathetic) kill team.
>>48292839
Emperoronthethrone, NO! We dealt with enough Warp Fuckeries for a single eon!
Who besides Claw Marine wants to join my glorious third company of refined fleshbane and general Rip and Tear?
>>48292817
>>48292839
I think I might be able to jury-rig this thing to get us there. Once I figure out this damn Eldar boot sequence (pic related).
Brothers! We are lucky, for it appears much of our holy machinery left unharmed by these mysterious Red demons. Rest assured the watch will let nothing happen to our ancient and irreplaceable technology!
Radical Inquisitors or Puritan Inquisitors, brothers?
Which ones do we prefer?
>OOC
>Inb4 ''The most pathetic of the two.''
>>48292447
We are attempting to arrange our patheticness into companies brother.
>>48293381
The radicals understand that our use of xeno weaponry was decreed by the Emperor himself.
>>48293381
>To Lord High Inquisitor Marietta Von Brundervane of the Ordo Hereticus, shortly before having every Marine under his command flood the Vox channel with the same message, at the same time:
>"GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU CRAZY INNOCENT BURNING WITCH!"
>Shortly before jumping into the Warp, laughing like madmen the entire way.
Probably not radical
>>48293446
Sorry, Puritan
>>48293381
We prefer radicals. They're the only ones that don't attempt to purge us on sight from all the xenotech.
>>48293425
Well duh, we have nine of them. Not really sure where that seventh company went, ship appeared unmanned during our perilous voyage in the Warp.
>>48293200
We shall attend to the machine spirits at once, however we seem to have misplaced several key dataslates containing the specs , we're searching as we speak
>>48293661
Get the blindwing on it, they are the best scouts in our ranks.
Tau Heavy Rail Rifle
Terminators Only. 60", S 8, AP 1, Heavy 1
Additional Traits: Sniper, Tank Hunter, Torrent, Concussive.
Brothers! Where do i belong?
>>48293723
Devastator Company!
>>48293723
Join me brother, we shall make a company of snipers and destroy our enemies from afar.
On a side note brothers, where in the Imperium are we now? My GPS seems to be malfunctioning.
>>48293773
Have you tried yurning it on then off again.
>>48292328
>AND ONE SHIP OF YOUR CHOOSING
>Merge into space hulk
It's still the mass and weapons and power of nearly 1000 ships.
>>48293773
Are you sure its plugged in?
>>48293802
Excellent.
>>48293810
There we go! Running smoothly again. But it won't register out flagship's name, I'll have to input it manually. What was it called again?
>>48293929
I believe it was the Bastion of Weakness Brother!
>>48293929
Oh, and here's the Galactic Pathetic Seer's current location readout.
>>48293773
Ah, bring it here brother. I shall apply the Holy Duct Tape of Mars
As for where we currently are? Our scanners indicate we are currently near some strange city called "Commorragh".
What a strange place indeed. Perhaps the local Planatary Governor can point is back on track?
>>48293929
Bastion of Weakness
Power Fist
Additional Traits: Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8")), Tesla, Gauss
Can I join our 3rd company ?
>>48293747
Yes Cap'n! One thing though Cap'n i dont have any terminator armour! you wouldnt happen to have a spare around would you?
>>48293764
Apologies Brother I have been Called to Devastator Company!
Honor company: all those with Melta Bombs and the ''gets Hot'' trait.
From them will be drafted the chapter champion until his own death by explosion.
I company:all those with the 'Throw' trait
II company:all those with the 'Soulreaver' trait
III complany:all those with the 'Fleshreaver' trait
IV company:all those with the 'Blunt' trait
V company:all those with the ''extended bareel'' and/or ''Sniper'' trait
VI company:all those with the ''unrefined'' trait
VII company: all those with support equipement like auspexes, portals, beacons, iron halos et cetera.
VII company:all those with the 'Monster Hunter' and/or ''Tank Hunter'' trait
XI company: all those with every trait not specified in the other companies. This company will surely be either the largest or the strongest.
X company: all those with the ''Blind'' trait
If someone has multiple traits of different companies, they are free to choose to apply to one of them.
>>48293959
Ah, then my GPS is very broken indeed!
It was reading us near Raikan, good thing we weren't there too, I doubt those Altar-boy Black Templars would welcome our presence.
>>48294054
The 3rd, 4th, 6th, 7th and 10th company already have a captain, the 5th company will be the Sniper Company ''The Bullseyes'' and the 8th compnay will be the Devastator Company ''The Grinders''.
If the future captains of the 5th and 8th want to change the company's name, do it.
>>48294068
Please tell we are not near Aurelia!
>>48294123
The Snipers are known as the Bullseyes due to an unfortunate incident involving a Bullgryn and large amounts of Fenrisian mead.It was a drinking contest.We lost
>>48294031
Welcome to the Devastator Company!
>>48294123
And the Grinders is a fine name for my Company!
>>48294243
I KNEW it was a bad idea to let our chaplain arm wrestle the Bullgryn afterwards, but at least the firsthand accounts from the experience tell me that the Bullgryn got to keep his arm.
>>48294186
Thank The Emperor no, Captain Timmius has informed me we are near somewhere called Commorragh. It seems a rather magical place, might I take a platoon down?
>>48293982
Your rocket punch puts you firmly in 1st Company, dear brother.
So far my only HonorGuard is Claw Marine. I need more for truly pathetic RIP AND TEAR!
>>48294313
I remember something about Eldar avoiding the place so they must be loyal servants of the emperor, possibly with their own Space Marine chapter.
Oi fellow humies, I found a real nice shoota! So what company iz I gunna be in? I’z thinking I can be one of dem snipah boyz, on account of da scope an all.
Shotgun
Additional Traits: Scoped (+1 BS)
>>48294365
I propose - Chainfist!
Chain bitz from Chaos Marauders, image not to scale but you get the idea.
>>48294430
Join up brother, you may join my squad and blast our enemies with shotguns together.
>>48294355
Well then Fist company it is !
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Pathetic_Marines
Next up are the Companies.
>>48294442
No, borther, just no.
Imperial wargear and xeno "gifted" wargear are accepted, but this is downright heresy!
Brothers the wiki has returned!
>>48294510
The inquisitor writing it says it's still a WIP
>>48294508
Captain of the third company reporting in!
>>48294430
>OOC
Ork snipers? I feel a strong sense of Dejavu....
>>48294590
Welcome brother!
unwieldy power maul only real option is to charge and inevitably trip over a small rock
What should the statlines and special rules of the captains be?
>>48294691
Same as regular captains but with lower BS, WS and initiative.
Special rules include stubborn and various special rules from their original chapter.
>>48294054
>VII Company
All righty. What's my specialisation, Brother-Captain?
>>48292737
>Malodrax, the time travelling pre-DAoT ship in Death of Integrity
Somehow, I read that name as "Melodramax".
I will use that name...
>>48294691
Nothing but the best for pur glorious leaders.
>>48294123
We already have the 9th company set up, I'm the company captain and it's a charging devastator company
>>48294855
http://www.miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator
Well...
Uuuuuuhhhh....
If you have an Auspex you specialize in being uber-pathetic and spot those who the X Company can't spot.
If you have ammo, you run after bolter marines and replenish them.
If you have teleporters, beacons and things alike you go and pull off shenanigans with the others.
How do we determine which chapter each marine is from?
>>48294948
Just pick one that hasn't been picked yet
>>48294948
We decide, WE ARE THE SPACE MARINES!WEE ARR TEH EMPHRAS FHUURY!
>>48294916
Good to see you fellow fleshbane! let us patheticaly RIP AND TEAR!
>>48294958
Brother, weren't you an officer in some company?
>>48294916
we need some named characters statlines too.
>>48294995
I'm the company captain of the devestators
>>48294995
I assure you I know what I'm doing despite not having a heavy weapon, this brother I assure you. I'm an expert in devestators squads and a very important asset. That is why I'm behind my fellow brothers, to uh direct and order them ...uh pathetically?
>>48295011
I believe this to be Captain Blindus' stats, am I correct Captain?
>>48293381
Dead Inquisitors brother, for only they won't destroy planets just to satisfy their erections (and female equivalents).
>>48295080
>>48295099
Reporting for duty in the devastator company, Brother Captain. I bring the pocketable fury of the Emperor.
>>48295011
Patheticnought Neutron Blaster
WS4 BS4 S6 Armor (F12 S12 R10) I4 A2 Sv3
Vehicle (Walker)
Tau Neutron Blaster
18" S5 Ap3 Assault 1
Instant Death, Gets Hot
Bolt Pistol
12" S4 Ap5
Gets Hot
>>48295167
We welcome you with open arms! Now after a quick hug it's off to the front.
CHARGE
>>48295115
Beautiful. Now we need one for each captain and chapter master HB guy
>>48294942
Forgive me Brother-Captain, I lost my name tag. I'll just go jump in the pain glove.
>>48295115
Yes, indeed.
But we need not-useless Special Rules!
Special rule 1: Scout Company Captain-
Automatically both this model and his honor guard gain the scout rule at the beginning of the match.
Special rule 2: Blind Fury-
When engaged in combat this model gains an extra attack for every two models in range.
For every attack done by the effect of Blind Fury that would miss the target, all the models in range must roll for a save, lest they get hit by His Hammer in the face.
>>48294508
Excellent work brother, our legend is coming along nicely!
>OOC
Holy shit you are a badass for doing all of this man, I can't thank you enough! I cannot be more proud to have helped found this glorious insanity. All of you are awesome, and I thank you for contributing, from becoming a captain and defining your company, to the hundreds who have joined us on our mad Crusade. Thank you all for being as awesomely pathetic as you are!
>>48295205
Yes Brother Captain! I shall charge with all the speed this armour grants me!
>>48295284
Sort of pathetic isn't it?
>>48295265
Yes Sir! All Captains, report in! What do you lead, and what sets you apart from the rest of the Chapter?
>>48295320
Captain Fleshbane reporting in! RIP AND TEAR!
Chapter master honor guard reporting in!
>>48295352
though the foul xenos are terrible, we will be worse and we will RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE.
UPDATED!
THE RANKS
Chapter Master: Heavy Bolter Guy
Chapter Master Honor Guard: Scoped Flamethrower Marine, Tesla Choppa Astartes, Patheticnought Neutron Blaster
Honor company: all those with Melta Bombs and the ''gets Hot'' trait.
Chapter Chaplain: Jokaero the jokaero, former adjutant of an inquisitor aided by the chapter, is actually more religious than the inquisitor himself
Psykers: Librarian Flamer
I Company, Throwers: one-time-use weapons company
Captain:
Honor Guard: That one guy who's powerfist won't fit
II Company, Soulreavers:
Captain:
III Company, Fleshbanes:
Captain: Fleshbane
Captain’s Honor Guard: Genestealer Claw Marine, Honor Guard Plasma
IV Company, Blunthammers: all weapons are blunted
Captain:Blunted Lascannon Marine
V Company, the Bullseyes: Sniper Company
Captain: Shotgun Sniper Marine
Honor guard: Lead-Throwa
VI Company, Do It Yourselfers: (mostly) techmarine company, have only unrefined equipment
Captain: Timmius Allenus
VII Company, Utensils: Support Company
Captain: Utilitus ‘’Iron Halo’’ Maximus
Honor Guard: Marine Who Somehow Came Into Possession of a Webway Gate,
VIII Company, The Grinders: Devastator Company
Captain: Necron Staff of Light brother No.1
Honor Guard: Captain Sniper/Interceptor Multi Melta, Anti-Tank Bolt Pistol Marine
IX Company: Extermination Company, bringing the BRUTALITY in brute force
Captain:
Honor Guard: Marine Wielding a Poisoned Power Fist,
Sergeants: Kallis, Wielder of the Tesla Grav-Pistol
X Company, Blindwing: scout company, every non-scout space marine is blind by deterioration of ocular bulbs, thanks to the damn Warp.
Captain: Blind Thunderhammer Terminator Blindus Martellus Ismael Messenius Aureus Donum Solis
Captain’s Honorguard: Blind Gauss Missile Launcher Guy
If there are companies with Honor Guard and no captain it's bc nobody have claimed such role.
Apparently there's two claimants for the role of Devastator Company Captain.
>>48295320
>>48295302
>>48295388
I put Necron Staff of Light brother No.1 as captain bc he claimed that role yesterday, while Captain Sniper/Interceptor Multi Melta did today.
>>48295320
4th Company reporting in. Due to our weapons range being blunted, we deploy at the vanguard of any attack.
>>48295352
What do you think about this?
Special Rule: Rip and Tear-
If the targets are Daemons or are classified as ''Huge'', Captain Fleshbane gains 3 extra attacks.
>>48295421
Fucking Nice!
>>48295284
Thank you Chapter Master for being the first to open the charge!
>>48295374what special rules should I get? Can't really think of any good ones
>>48295388
>honour guard
Sweet. Oh wait, suddenly I remember what chapter I'm in.
I'm very disappointed nobody has yet 40k-ed this image.
By the way, found this pic while browsing online, do you guys we can make something 40k ish about this pic? Maybe it's fitting for some characters in the chapter?
>>48295457
What do you think about this?
Honor Guard Spacial rule 1:
Loyal to the End-
When Tesla Choppa Astartes is nearby the Chapter Master, throw a D6, if it's 5+ the hit is re-directed from the Chapter Master to Tesla Choppa Astartes.
Honor Guard Special Rule 2
Pathetically Stubborn-
For every two enemy models within melee range this model gains an extra Wound.
Model Specific Special Rule:
Reactive Weapon-
Whenever Tesla Choppa Astartes is attacked, roll a D6.
At 5+ the Tesla Choppa emits a lightning attack agaisnt the attacker, that damages for 1 Wound.
+2 Wound damage against vehicles.
>>48295566
Neat, I like it!
I do hereby claim the lead of the first company, for my unfitting powerfist shall always pathetically point the path to victory !
>>48295631
>OOC
I wrote it down.
Tomorrow at GMT 8.30/9 I will present the new updated Rank Sheet.
The ''Ranks'' section will be put into the Wiki as soon as every rank will be filled, or at least every company will have a captain, yes I'm looking at you Soulreavers.
Now, I must practice the rite of ''Late, Short and Uncomfortable Sleeping''!
Have a good day battle brothers!
>OOC
Today my CAPTCHA had a terribly strong feticism for Shop Front Doors, 8/10 were about them!
>>48295727
Rest Pitifully and Pathetically Brother!
>OOC Mine were pancakes
>>48295421
>"The marines of third company are noted for their overwhelmingly excessive brutality against large daemonic foes"
>Rip and Tear, unit has the Rage and Rampage special rules against monstous creatures and daemons
>Captain Fleshbane, If captain fleshbane is selected as the army's warlord, all units in the army get the Rip and Tear special rule
>>48295951
>Third company banner, all daemons attempting to charge this unit must pass an initiative test or be lowered to 1initiative for the assault phase
>E1M1 ancient music from holy terra played through the loudspeakers on drop pods and land raiders that grant the occupying unit preferred enemy daemons on the turn they disembark.
>>48294924
Wait I thought I was the Devastator Captain?
>>48296276
>>48295388
Never mind. Didn't read the rest of the posts.
I'll take the name of Pyrus
My name shall be Doomaius Gaius
>>48296321
Honorary second captain when I go full PTSD
>>48296415
I would imagine that makes me a Brother Sargent?
>Grav-cannon, Gauss.
What the fuck?
>>48296439
Yes, it would
>Lightning Claw
>Additional Traits: Instant Death, Force
What company brothers?
>>48296616
Welcome to the third company brother!
>Lightning Claw
>Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play), Tank Hunter
VII Company here I come!
>>48296415
Captain! i have found myself having trouble bringing my weapon with me through our corridors may i make use of one of our transports as quarters in a most pathetic manner?
Brothers, I come bearing a conversion beamer, blessed by a Techpriest (with a slight drug problem) Quickened! Granting +1ATK
May I join your Holy Crusade
>>48296864
Brothers, I think I may have got the wrong door. What company should a Tank Hunter such as myself belong to?
>>48296885
Why of course! However I don't have a lot of leeway with the tech marines however. They say I waste ammo and what not but go to the vehicle Bay and the emperor will guide you to your destined vehicle!
>Power Axe
>Additional Traits: Force, Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8")), Blind
Do i belong in 1st or 10th brothers?
>>48294948
I am brother Stealus Manus, originally from Blood Ravens chapter. I'm honored to be amongst Emperor's most pathetic servants, but I must confess, I wasn't the first choice for this honor. Sadly, captain Boreale died in battle before he could be transfered to this chapter. I can only pray I'll be a worthy replacement, for indeed, none of my original chapter could measure with him in patheticness.
With the Emperor's great gifts, Rip and Tear (rumors that I've stolen the later from a battle brother and the former from Blood Raven armory are mere slander from heretics jealous of my ownership of these relics. Also, they totally aren't just claws stolen from a genestealer and duct taped to sticks) I will prove myself to be one of the most pathetic Space Marines in the whole galaxy!
I'm certainly not there to steal Pathetic Relics and add them to Blood Ravens' armory. That huge stack of stickers labeled "Property of Blood Ravens" is just a reminder of my original chapter, for what would we be if we forget our history? Not so pathetic, certainly!
Rip:
>Genestealer Claw
>S User, AP 5, Rending
>Additional Traits: Force, Shred
Tear
>Genestealer Claw
>S User, AP 5, Rending
>Additional Traits: Fleshbane, Refined (+1 S), Unrefined (-1 S), Timewarp (+1 I)
>>48297046
Apparently you decide by yourself
>>48296958
I believe Captain Very-Long-Name made a typo with the "Soulreaver" trait, that may have been Soulrazer as well. Very probably you belong to the II Company.
Power Fist
Additional Traits: Instant Death, Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8")), Refined (+1 S)
Rocket fists!
>>48299497
Welcome to the team!
>>48299497
Welcome to 1st Company brother!
I was once Bruce, of the Reasonable Marines. However, my love for needless antagonism amongst my fellow man and penchant for practical jokes at the expense of all else made me the Least Reasonable marine, as frankly, I am a massive cunt.
The first thing I saw when I entered the Armoury was the Lord General of a visiting Imperial Guard regiment, and I took him as my weapon - and he, consequently, took his men with him.
Apparently, the regiment is from a planet of Serica, and they call themselves the Bushmen. Obviously, as per the Emperor's will, they were all required to leave their weaponry behind.
What does a battle-brother do with 7,000 unarmed conscripts, exactly?
>>48299844
Give them to the company captain of the IX company, he's really good with disposables
>>48299958
That could work. Though, if they're disposable, then wouldn't they be better served in the I company?
>>48300006
Nonsense, conscripts are good at charging the enemy right? And what does our IX company do. CHHAAAAAARRRRREEEEEGGGGGGEEEEEEEE
>>48300051
Hmm. You do have a point. Looking at our chapter structure, it appears my weapon would be well suited for a few companies.
I: I once saw an Angry Marine throw a Guardsman like a javelin. It was impressive.
IV: Are not the Imperial Guard called the 'Hammer of the Emperor'? I've often heard them described as a blunt instrument.
VII: If we actually wish these servants of the Emperor to survive, they might be well-suited to support roles, such as vehicle crew, logistics, etc.
IX: Human wave tactics are a time-honoured tradition, it is true.
I am a former Reasonable Marine, so the idea of needlessly wasting lives irks me. I mean, look at this little guy. He snuck three handfuls of deep heat into my armour this morning whilst I was in the showers. What a champ.
>>48300210
No one said about needles let wasting lives, simply becoming another smaller target as they charge with the devestators
Apologies for my absence, sir, but the first Company has made landfall on Schwarzenecronia, crown world of the Aegus Empire. We've established a safe base of operations but require assistance. What has happened in our absence, and who can send aid?
>>48300481
My company is always ready to charge
First company, this is Thunderbolt Fighter brother, I read you loud and clear. Mark targets for airstrike, over.
>>48300481
Give me everything you've got in terms of equipment.
>>48300481
Why would we ever need aid. This place is absolutely safe! I can't see anything wrong with it.
>>48301060
Well our base is obviously secured, as I was just discussing with this rather quiet battle-brother (and I must say I admire how well-kept his armor is) but the Necron Capital city has yet to be captured.
>>48300797
And sir, we have approximately two Anchored Stormsurges, 14 Taurox Primes, each Marines' personal wargear, and ~100 Jokaero Weaponsmiths. Aside from that, we have little support. But we hold the line still!
Also, Captain Blindus, Puritan Inquisitors have sent kill teams after our forces, but as of yet none have been spotted. Will keep watch, brother.
>>48301217
OH FUCK NECRONS NOOOOOOOOOOO
>>48301294
Necrons? Hahaha.... Don't be silly, battle-brother. They can be pretty friendly, occasionally. (Well, except for Ahmethep, this guy is an asshole, he thinks that flesh suits are not cool... I m-mean, that's what our scouts said, ha-ha.)
Drach'nyen
Strength 8, AP 1, Range - Daemon Weapon
Uh... guys. Guys? Am I a traitor, a hero, what?
>>48301217
Good i shall make good use of it brother. Bring me the monkeys as well.
>>48301217
Worry not brother, the rest of the Chapter is on it's way!
>>48301849
>OOC and IC
HOLY SHIT HOW
>>48291073
>EMP Grenades
BRRRRRROTHERS, I GREET YOU FROM THE EMPEROR'S NEPHEW'S WIFE'S SON'S COUSINS CHAPTER.
JUST POINT ME AND MY BAG FULL OF HOLY ELECTROMAGNETIC CLEANSING IN THE DIRECTION OF ANY AND ALL HERETEK.
>>48301849
Um well... Might I ask, do you have arms? Just curious.
>>48301849
GUYS.
This makes too much sense.
We've got the most pathetic of all marines.
Ezekyle Abaddon himself.
Let's play "Spot the Blood Raven"
>>48301849
There he is!
>>48302183
>There he is!
Where?
First company captain, reporting in !
>>48302177
Seems that way
Why the hell do the most retarded things happaen when I'm asleep?!
>>48301849
A thief, and a very good one at that
>>48300210
>I: I once saw an Angry Marine throw a Guardsman like a javelin. It was impressive.
>IV: Are not the Imperial Guard called the 'Hammer of the Emperor'? I've often heard them described as a blunt instrument.
>VII: If we actually wish these servants of the Emperor to survive, they might be well-suited to support roles, such as vehicle crew, logistics, etc.
>IX: Human wave tactics are a time-honoured tradition, it is true.
This is an entry for the Quotes section of the Wiki 40/40.
May I request aid from one of our techmarines?
You see, recently during another spontaneous trip through the warp I met a most vile demon. Called itself Slade Nishi or something, I didn't listen.
So in I threw my trusty box at it in the name of the Empreror and it disappeared. But ever since then my Tessa has been talking of most vile things. Is there any way to shut it up? I've been using it to stabilize my bed after the frame broke last year.
Brothers, do you know why we are the Emperor's Most Pathetic?
Because we keep doing things we know we relatively suck at.
For the same reason I keep posting my Warp-cursed drawing, in order hold high the name of the Chapter.And to show that one day I'll be looking for the rank of ''Most Pathetic' of Them All''In other news, here is how Ismael Messenius would look like without his Terminator Helmet, he's actually only half blind, but blind nontheless.
And he behaves like an old senile man sometimes because...
...Warp Fuckeries
>>48303620
>>48303594
Fuck me, got distracted for a sec and look what I do.
Who's Tessa?
>>48303630
I believe that's a necron tesseract labyrinth, also known as "box" or "pokecube". Not that I know anything about necrons or something...
I think this name is a bit more fitting and versatile, that anon that called me Captain very-Long-Name opened my eyes.Not that is see anything in particular with them at the moment
>>48303683
I know what they are!
An ancient terran manuscript described them as...
mm...
uuhhh...
mhhh.....
....OH-HO!
It described them as Daemon sized Pokéballs!
...
...Somebody call me the Techmarines, I don't know what a pokéball is.
>>48303721
But it's a box, not a ball! What warp fuckery is this?
>>48303807
Necron warp fuckery.
The worst warp fuckery of all.
>>48303807
Brother, I think that Captain is talking about the old tesseract model, here's a picture from my family alb... uh, I mean, from our archives.
>>48303807
>>48303830
So THAT is what a pokeball looks like!
>>48303926
And our archives are far bigger than I remembered.
Errm, Brothers? I set off to one of the vehicle bays and i..erm..well i got lost. ive taken up residence in one of the unused wings of our most pathetic monastery, on the bright side i have finally found corridors large enough to turn around in. Could you send one of the safety servitors to escort me back?
>>48304072
servitors what servitors?
>>48304072
>>48304130
Exactly
What servitors?
Do you mean the Land Raider Safety Bumpers?
Their storage is in the Awfully Small and Tight wing of the Monastery.
Also, what is this ''safe-ty'' you talk about?
>>48304072
Since when have we had servitors brother? I believed they had all perished when our fortress monastery was created.
>>48304196
They were....
..how could you say...
...recommissioned.
De iure, we don't have any servitor left, but de facto we have thousands of them.
They are used in most unsafe places.
>>48304178
The awfully Small and Tight wing you say?
Oh dear. I suppose i'll just have to make do with my situation, Tell me do we have any spare guardsmen left or did they go the way of gravitational integrity? which is to say Everywhere.
We never had them as a matter of fact.
Quickly! Someone grab me the Codex Bullshitticus and help me find a world from which we can take sone guardsmen!
UH, A LITTLE HELP PLEASE???!!!?
''A space marine without a driving licence may still guide the machine spirit of (read as ''drive'') a Land Raider, as long as the safety bumper-servitors are strapped on all sides of the vehicle.''
-Techmarine Erasmus
>>48304211
>>48304239
Why not just reach out to one of our inquisitorial chums? they tend to have a few of them and we get gifts most of the time!
In other news i found a new friend, he doesnt talk much but hes quite bendy.
>>48304287
That's pathetic, brother!
I like it.
>>48304278
Help, with what?!?!?!?
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD AN APOTHECARY IN THE FIRST PLACE!
>>48304292
YUCK!
That's a xeno!
Say your farewells now brother, because as soon as Captain Fleshbane sees it, your friend is going to be dead meat.
>>48304293
I some how managed to both find and strap myself onto this carnifex by complete accident and I still haven't managed to figure out a way to gethe off of it. I think I'm gonna sick, and I haven't even seen any blood yet.
>>48304301
But brother hes given me directions, surely we can overlook this one, after all hes not even monstrous getting rid of him is a job for a guardsmen.
>>48304328
While you're here brother Apothecary do you think you could persuade that carnifex to widen the VII company quarters a bit? il be a while so feel free to be delicate.
>>48304301
It is a xeno indeed, but how big is it?
Because, y'know, as Captain Fleshbane always says: "If it's HUGE, that means it has HUGE GUTS."
And that guy just LOVES to rip and tear huge guts.
>>48304328
Carnifex? Ha! I've heard about a librarian that stuck to a zoanthrope, now THAT was quite a sight to see.
>>48304409
I suppose I can give it a shot, I think I'm actually starting to get the hang of the carni-OH GOD EMPEROR NO!!!!
>The CarniCary combo proceeds to go barreling through the barracks doorway, widening it, and straight into the far wall, also widening it.
>>48291073
>http://www.miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator
You have my fist!
Let the fates be with us!
>>48293795
top keks ahhaha
>>48294054
>VII company
Brothers onward!
With my fist we shall fell the grandest of Xenos!
IV Company report in, I wish to know how many of us there are.
>>48304559
Well, apparently the support Company has got itself a chaplain!
Brothers, I need someone to covert this from .jpg in .png and delete the white background!
This will be the symbol for my space marines in DoW II Retribution!
>>48304689
Brother, where can I serve?
>we have already violated codex astartes
>>48304708
Ask and ye shall receive, Captain!
>>48304712
We have never even followed it
Look at the relations between us and the Ultrasmurfs for example!
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Pathetic_Marines
>>48304749
Thank yuo brother!
HAH! HERE I AM!
>>48304767
where shall I place my fervor?
May I have council with Jokaero?
Alright, so we've finished expanding the barracks. They are now almost twice the size they were previously and also may or may not have a tyranid hive vibe to them. Also, where shall I be assigned? As one of the first Apothecaries to step forward I believe it would be best for me to start setting up shop as soon as possible.
>>48304837
Didn't you say that you wanted to be in the VII Company?
>>48304866
Yes my gift is a Powerfist and monsterhunter
Battle Brothers!
Recently I noticed that some of our marines are scared of me due to the fact that I like to wear the skin of our enemies (well, usually enemies).
Thus, I, Notan Ecron, would like to be assigned as the chaplain of the X Company. (I've already got a bucket of tar to paint myself black).
>>48304916
Seeing as you are blind, why not?
Skyfire Shotgun marine reporting for the battle effort!
Which airborne prey may i serve to hunt?
>>48304916
Very well still-oddly-hunched-over brother, may you serve them well!
>>48304328
Just have your battle mount ram it's head into the nearest bulkhead for several hours, that should lull it to sleep!
And now my battle-brothers, I must set forth a grave query: What shall our Chapters Battle-Chant (Theme song) be? I have several ideas, from badass (Semi-religious heavy metal) to psychological warfare (pop songs I found on animu videos). Note that while individual companies may have their own song (Such as VI Company:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjIVkl34Vig) this will be the theme of the chapter as a whole. Submit your requests, or ask to see my suggestions from either category, now! On a side note, I believe I've found you a theme of your own Brother Neutron Blaster! (because this fits ridiculously well IMO)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJS3bIpGYT0
>>48305087
VI Company song:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjIVkl34Vig
Sorry about that Captain Fleshbane
>>48305087
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmc8bQoL-J0
We never give up, no matter how pathetic we are, we are true survivors, even though we often do not survive
in the face of superior foes, we stand fast and fight
https://youtu.be/a6BbvCC0VI0
This would be perfect for the III
>>48305087
>>48304949
Thank you brothers! Glory to the God-Phaero... erm, God-Emperor!
Behold brothers, i have just been indoctrinated into the force, and i am ready to fight in the emperors name! however i have been issued this curious weapon...
Eldar D-Scythe
Template, S D, AP 2, Heavy 1, Distort Scythe
Additional Traits: Concussive
>>48305087
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m3BRf3WKEoI
Also, now that Carni has concussed itself to sleep I must ask which company I would serve best in?
>>48305210
Hmm, as your Gift is a Monstrous Creature, I would stay away from Captain Fleshbane at all costs. Why not join II Company? They aren't that well fleshed out yet.
>>48305334
Sound suggestion, Chapter master. Alright Soulreavers, you just netted yourself an apothecary....and a carnifex!
I found another gift in an unexplored corridor!
Grav-gun
Additional Traits: Haywire, Instant Death
>>48305087
I name this as the theme of the IV Company
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5nyWL7zs4o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDa2CsyuVsY
Here comes the ''scouts''!
I guess the Charging-Devastator Company, ''The Grinders'' could like this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyJurX5LPN0
>>48305087
Obligatory song for whenever we try to get to anywhere other than the eye of terror.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKggnBh2Mdw
7th company pre-game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXKXBQ2f7pY
>>48305087
Emprah dammit, I mixed up the VI and III Companies, sorry about that everyone. Just Replace every VI with III, that's what I meant to say.
>>48305755
Kek
>Flamer
>Additional Traits: Blunted Range (-6" Range), Tank Hunter
Truly a gift worthy of our chapter, honorable battle-brothers!
>>48306822
Now assume the name of Blunt Flamer Marine, and join the ranks of the IV Company!
>>48306822
welcome to 7th
Although we are technically 8th but theres a typo
>we have 1st, 2nd,3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 7th, 11th, and 10th companies
>>48306838
Indeed I shall! All enemies of the holy Imperium shall tremble before our futile might!
>>48306867
I-1
II-2
III-3
IV- 5-1
V-5
VI- 5+1
VII- 5+2
VIII- 5+3
IX- 10-1
X- 10
He has a blunt weapon, therefore he is to go with the Blunthammers
>>48305087
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvk-EyO5WdE if that's not our hymn, then I don't know what is.
>>48306984
He has both blunt (4) and tank hunter (8*)
>>48294054
read the list again
he mistyped the 8 and 9
>I like to just roll with mistakes though
>>48307035
This is one of the hymns you can hear when roaming around the Bastion of Weakness.We have been trying to catch the idiot that has been singing this 24/7 for the last nine hundred years and we still didn't find anything.
I suspect it's the Bastion itself that is having fun trolling us.
>>48305882
well if I'm moving to 8th company we will have to change our theme
It shall be as such
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P4GsF1zdzM
>>48307057
Fuck, i hate when I think I pressed a button and I actually didn't.
My hand-to-mind coordination is more lacking that I thought.
My apologies, brother.
Also, the 4th is lacking troops at the moment, while the 8th isn't so it's only natural to reinforce the Company in need.
>>48307111
Messenius made a mess
>>48307084
We already have our music Brother >>48305576
Though we could have that as the barrack anthem if the captain agrees. Oh and Welcome to the Grinders Brother!
>>48306938
Welcome brother, your firepower will be a valuable addition to our force
