Players love shit they think will make them overpowered. What useless items have you given your pc's? My favorite were bracers that switched places with a command word.
>>48256869
Classic Club of Healing. Hittings someone causes 1d4 damage, but heals him for 1d6. Still hurts of course.
Also bagpipe of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but only as long as you play it as loudly as you can.
>>48256885
>Classic Club of Healing. Hittings someone causes 1d4 damage, but heals him for 1d6. Still hurts of course.
You mean club of undead slaying.
+10 Magic projection.
None of us is a wizard.
The mageslayer got it as a gift.
>>48256869
Staff of Disintegration. Five of them, in a wooden crate with straw, coated in a substance something like cosmoline. Players were ecstatic. Disintegration effects are great especially at low level. Staves are crazy good at any level. And five of them?
A short while later, the party spellcaster was separated from the group, facing an animated suit of armor in close combat. He activated a staff. The Staff disintegrated into dust. MFW
>>48256869
Pendant that changes your armor into gaudy colors like a mood ring.
We slipped it into the possessions of the paladin after she acted lawful stupid one too many times.
>>48256869
I like having nonlethal malfunctioning magic items. Either made by bad artificiers or simply old and worn. For instance:
An item that makes you invisible to yourself. An item that raises your strength when you try to be gentle, or makes you walk faster, but run slower. Sometimes I have potions that do silly things like reminding you that you ve forgotten something, but not what it is, or just gives u useless info like exactly how many grass straws are under your boots. My favorite is the poorly made talking stick of finding, which instead of giving u clues on where to go, gives you clues where not to go.
>>48256869
If you attach something to the bracers, do the attached items switch places too?
Wing coins. When you flip them, they stop in the highest point of their arc and hover there, continuing to spin and emitting a humming noise that sets teeth on edge, until their command word is said, at which point they fall normally. Great for annoying the shit out of people when making bar bets.
>Armor of the Stand Bearer
Armor that makes you pose flamboyantly before combat. It also has a chance to intimidate the opponentif the player does a pose IRL
>>48256945
>>48257783
Bad artificers, or just students practicing at a mage college. Heck, one time I used a drunken wizard party as my excuse for a pile of shitty magic items.
>>48257783
>makes you walk faster, but run slower
so walking speed boost to any character, but disabled dash action? Sounds like it could be pretty useful actually
>>48256869
Magic stones that do nothing but vibrate and stay warm to the touch.
>>48258243
You do realize those are going right up my character's ass, right?
>>48258258
They were looted from an NPC sorceress.
>>48258275
Then I guess I'll wash them first.
>>48256869
One of my favourites was the 'wand of conjure wand'. It has one use, and allows you to conjure a wand with one use that allows you to conjure a wand...
>>48258309
So, I have an infinite number of sticks?
Honestly, I always prefer giving them items that seem useless and might not even always be magical, but they do have some very situational applications that can be pretty useful if the players figure them out. For example, "Orb of Slope Detection" is a small but perfectly well-formed glass bead that, when placed on the ground, rolls in the direction of a slope if placed on one.
As far as straight up magical items that aren't as useful as they sound, a Wand of Teleportation that vanishes from the wielder's hand when activated is always fun. So is the Universally Immovable Rod, especially when it's used in a dungeon. So is the Ring of Might that, when activated, gives an ambiguous answer.
>>48258326
>>48258309
Free firewood/kindling
>>48257944
[aztec dubstep playing in background]
>>48258328
>Universally Immovable Rod
THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>Ring of Might that, when activated, gives an ambiguous answer
Kekekeked, stolen
>>48258056
What makes it so gratifying is when the players Discover some use for one of those items, or say I make a use for them. Like having a riddle guardian asking you how many grass straws you have under your boot, be shocked when the player actually answers, and then get angry that his "impossible riddle" was solved
Socks of Prestidigitation that keep your feet dry.
>>48256869
A chalice with infinite water inside
and a hat that when it's rised from a head or surfice begins to create winter cold, progressively.
>>48256869
Not useless at all. You could use them for long distance communications by tying notes to them and shit, probably a bunch of other things I haven't thought of yet, too. Honestly making creative use of 'useless' magical items is one of my favourite things to see in a party.
Lamp of Illusion
when lit, it casts an illusion of bright light. it doesn't make any real light at all.
>>48258639
>>48258699
What would happen if I put the sock of prestidigitation inside the chalice of infinite water?
>>48258727
I guess it would stay dry, despite being submerged.
>>48258725
Does that mean that everything it lights up is an illusion too?
>>48256896
>You mean club of undead slaying.
That would totally be worth putting in a game, just for the realization.jpg.
>>48258800
Time is an illusion. Space is an illusion. Reality is an illusion. We are all illusions and fantasies of the overgod that dreams the world. There is no fundamental difference between real and illusionary light because both are ultimately illusions. Only the overgod is real. By realizing your own unreality, you gain real mastery of the illusion.It's actually a Cursed Lamp of Philosophy
>>48258751
>tfw that anon can't even basic logic
I want summer to leave
>>48258639
Mass produce these for the army to prevent trench foot. That's a serious problem, yaknow.
>>48258872
Does that mean that everything it lights up is true reality?
>>48257944
>>48258516
I got your back, yo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM
>>48258639
You do understand that a PCs gonna brutally and mercilessly kill each other for this pair, right?
And for a pair of breeches that ALWAYS stays clean.
>>48258541
>Universally Immovable Rod
>Because linear movement is relative, it stays on the Earth
>Because rotational movement is absolute, it flies across the world at the speed of its rotation
I'd try and map its path and avoid it. Maybe try and lure baddies near it. It'll pass by at the same time every day.
>>48258328
>"Orb of Slope Detection" is a small but perfectly well-formed glass bead that, when placed on the ground, rolls in the direction of a slope if placed on one.
You mean a ball
>>48256869
The ring of pudding pop. It's a ring with a cognac diamond that tastes exactly like chocolate pudding.
>>48259217
>the big bad is giving a monologue while you are standing there, more interested about licking your ring
Seamus Young's balancing rod is a classic: A rod that stands upright when placed. If you have an RPer in the group, the hat that drops INT, but makes your character think it's been raised is good.
Bump. Best thread in a while.
ITT, Ribbon's shopping list.
>>48259202
Wow, we've got a genius here!
Helm of Invisibility:
This helmet makes your head, and only your head, completely invisible. The helmet, however, is not invisible at all.
>>48259720
Does it look like this?
>>48259720
Bracelet of Trees:
A bracelet that makes its wearer immediately aware of the location of the nearest tree.
>>48259740
Exactly like that. The faceplate is riveted shut.
>>48258989
>You do understand that a PCs gonna brutally and mercilessly kill each other for this pair, right?
Obviously. That's why they were in that chest after all. Every round of pvp is a round I didn't have to plan.
>>48259744
You are a motherfucking idiot. This item is worth any price you would bo offered.
And the pic is not even covering half of possible places where ability to locate tree would be priceless
>>48259744
Indestructible Ingot:
An ingot of lightweight metal, created by a dwarven wizard. It is thoroughly indestructible, and cannot be damaged by any means. However, it is also impossible to melt it, carve it, hammer it, or shape it in any way whatsoever.
>>48256885
I'm doing something similar. I'm playing a cleric with smiting spell and a crossbow to shoot cure spells into my allies.
>>48256869
Depending on how tightly fitted those bracers were, that could really fuck up your wrists.
>>48259776
There are a lot of useless, free-standing trees sitting in the middle of deserts, boyo. It would be a useful guideline, but it would just help you pick a potentially shorter straight line to walk in after enjoying your shade.
>>48259777
I'm sure I could think of some uses for that. Stuff it inside a cannon, use it to jam up a traditional 'closing wall' trap, stick it in front of a Mcguffin-powered spell, that kind of thing.
>>48259812
It'd at least let you know where water is. And if there's no water, all you have to do is burn the tree down and use the bracelet again.
>>48258590
>Like having a riddle guardian asking you how many grass straws you have under your boot, be shocked when the player actually answers, and then get angry that his "impossible riddle" was solved
That kind of thing would clearly be you throwing them a bone for giving them a shit item and is not at all gratifying to a player
>>48259777
Just use it as the head of a hammer
>>48259783
Crusader's Crossbow?
>>48259834
>lightweight metal as the head of a hammer
>>48259777
Crystal Ball of Incredulity:
A crystal ball that can answer any Yes/No question once per day. It has a 50% chance of being incorrect. Created by a wizard with a gambling addiction, and an irrational fear of two-sided objects.
>>48259720
Wouldn't this be good for pretending you're some sort of monster or something? It could also be used to conceal your identity
>>48259104
CLANG
What the fuck was that!?
>>48259911
A few minor chuckles:
Wand of Raise Dead:
Once cast, the target dead body begins to levitate.
Potion of Spider Climb:
Once consumed, the user can climb a spider, a giant spider, or a pile of spiders, flawlessly. Alternatively, any spiders you splash it on will be able to climb anything perfectly.
Created by the same wizard who created the famed Potion of Fish Swim.
Impervious Armor:
An ancient set of immaculate heavy plate armor that is impossible to damage or destroy. Whenever it would take damage, it momentarily phases into another plane.
>>48259846
Not all hammers have to weigh a metric ton. A hammer doesn't have to be much heavier than a few pounds
>>48259979
>Once cast, the target dead body begins to levitate.
Hmmm... how much weight can it carry?
>>48260012
I like the way you think.
>>48259776
The catch is that the tree isn't necessarily still alive.
>>48258309
If you found some way to combine it with recharging magic, you might be able to make a nuclear explosion of wood splinters.
>>48259588
O stop it, you
Compass of Vampirism Location
Points towards the nearest vampire. Will almost always lead you to a female mosquito or other bloodsucking beasty.
>>48258901
Or lights up anything that isn't a illusion, probably.
>>48259979
>Once consumed, the user can climb a spider, a giant spider, or a pile of spiders, flawlessly. Alternatively, any spiders you splash it on will be able to climb anything perfectly.
This is dangerous. You will turn PCs into spider breeders
>>48259812
There is shade, potential food, shadow, water, firewood...
>>48260045
It's still a tree, you know? Having wood in the middle of literal nothing is still nice
>>48259824
This anon gets it
>>48260139
Well if you're desperate to find a lawyer
>>48260139
100% gonna steal it. They are gonna find a "greater gem of blooddrinker detection" and Ima make them shit their pants next time they approach any castle or cromlech or cemetary. (Vampires in my setting are really really tough and scary shit.)
>>48259792
>give them to the evil warlord as a gift, use the command word, rip his wrists off, murderhobo the fuck out of him.
The Fire Distinguisher.
Correctly determines what is and is not fire.
>>48258639
/out/ here, would commit mass murder for this one
My personal favorite is the hat that makes everyone you are not hiding from convinced that you just became harder to detect. It doesn't actually make you, it just convinces them it does.
For everyone you might want to hide from, even if you are not aware of their presence or existance, you are as easy to detect as if you were blinking with a bright strobing light, even if you don't look any different. They don't even need eyes to detect you.
Using this in my Campaign was hilarious, because everyone on the party could attest that it works, while I allways rolled my detection rolls for foes behind a GM screen and they allways made the check, resulting in a lot of confusion and chaos.
>>48258365
the wand disintegrates when it is used
>>48260332
I've got to be honest, but depending on how the GM plays the rest of the game, the party could start thinking that he's just fudging the rolls to railroad.
>>48256869
>Broom that makes things dirty by creating dust.
They started using it to put out fires.
>>48260435
It's their fault for using magical artifacts that they have not confirmed the effect of. No mercy. It's like drinking a potion you know nothing about and being surprised when it's actually a sleeping potion
Also, if it only ever happens to one player... make observation, form hypothesis, test hypothesis.
Mysterious Soap
Soap that makes you no cleaner than you were before you used it. However, it makes you and everyone else think the user is cleaner. The soap has a nice, fragrant and relaxing aroma, which is actually an olfactory hallucination it creates.
Invisible Pen
Pen that uses invisible ink to write. It's completely impossible to detect what's written with it though. By manufacturing error approximately 23.5% of these don't have ink.
Wand of Transmutation
Transmutes items intochocolatecoins.
>>48259918
faceplate rivited shut so it cant be opened. literally just a steel helm. soon as you take it off, you head comes back.
>>48260521
>Transmutes items intochocolatecoins.
In any medieval setting that would be stupid valuable.
>>48259979
impervious armor
>best cursed item ever.
>>48260012
About as much as the pressure the body can withstand before no longer being considered a body.
>>48260498
You're thinking in-character and keeping the situation in-character. You can't control how the group thinks, and some of them may be thinking out-of-character and instead of realizing what the hat does, suspects that the GM is fudging rolls.
It's a caution that this magic item will not work for every group and every player, because I've had GMs who will simply drop magic items they thought were interesting into the game without thinking about how the players as people will react to them being present. It's the girdle of masculinity/femininity all over again. The characters may be able to handle it, but will the players themselves?
>>48256869
Prim and Proper Purse.
It's impossible to lose it, have it stolen, or open it unless you're the correct owner. It also can hold unlimited amounts of gold, and convert said gold to food or sundry items on demand. Never run out of rope again, candles for days etc. It runs extortionate prices though.
It also eats gold when breaches of etiquette occur.
>>48256869
I like to put objects that at the same time they are mostly useless, they are cool, like the Belt of Duel, when you move your hands slowly at the side of this belt, it summons a ball of hay that slowly rolls past you.
There is also the Thunderpunch Gauntlet, when it hits something at fast speeds, it sounds like thunder, and this one is not magic, it has some air entrances to make the sounds.
The Vast Satchel.
A handbag that can hold an infinite amount of stuff.You can never find that one item you want when looking in it.
The Hat of False Charisma
The wearer of this somewhat old-fashioned hat believes that it grants +6 to Charisma and Intelligence. In fact, it penalizes Charisma and Wisdom by 6, to a minimum of one. The cursed wearer rationalizes his failures as being due to outside factors unless given a Remove Curse.
>>48260876
Is it a fedora?
>>48260895
"greater hat of you turned into a neckbeard"
>>48260168
FUUUUUCK
>>48259777
There was that barbarian who specialized in using *bricks*. He even had a masterwork brick of +1.
My party was given a choice of magic items. The party Alchemist took the Snakeskin Tunic
"Tunic, Snakeskin
Aura moderate abjuration and transmutation; CL 8th
Slot chest; Price 8,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
A snakeskin tunic is a tight, form-fitting shirt crafted from the scales of a giant snake.
When worn, it grants a +1 armor bonus to AC, a +2 enhancement bonus to Dexterity, and a +2 resistance bonus on saving throws against poison."
The Alchemist gained no actual benefit from it. He was immune to poison, wore armor and cats grace was put up in every fight.
The item was picked for a single reason.
>A snakeskin tunic is a tight, form-fitting shirt crafted from the scales of a giant snake.
>>48256869
One goes on your wrist, the other goes around a dead cat carried by your heavily-muscled lootslave.
>>48260876
>>48260895
>>48260948
In NetHack there is an item called a dunce cap, which autocurses when worn and fixes INT and WIS at 6. It is outwardly indistinguishable from the cornuthaum, a magical hat based on the traditional image of the pointed wizard's cap, which grants randomly-activating clairvoyance and certain extra benefits, including CHA +1, to wizards.
Something only monks could use: Bear Hands
Of a monk fights bare handed after having touch the Bear Hands for at least 5 seconds he becomes cursed so that every time he fights bare handed the Bear Hands materialize on his hand, making him not bare handed, losing any bonuses from fighting bare handed and deal 1d3+1 damage plus appropriate stats. Exotic Weapon
This was all because i hated the smug fucktard who was playing monk in my PF game
>>48260646
Maybe my group just does not consist of D&D grognards and meta-gamers? This is no game with strangers they know me better.
>>48261161
Monk weapons exist
>>48261371
It wasn't a monk weapon
>>48261161
>This was all because i hated the smug fucktard who was playing monk in my PF game
Do you also push old ladies into traffic and challenge paraplegics to foot races? Monks in PF are so shit they're their own punishment. Adding on insult to injury is just being shitty.
>>48261458
Yes i do if the old ladies and paraplegics continue being smug assholes who always give backhanded compliments, refusing to actually stop being an asshole and then snarked their way through encounters and always complaining about the difficulty not being high enough because they are not fucking corpses and quadriplegics after it.Also foot races sound like a horrible magical realm
>>48259979
All I'm hearing is that I need to turn myself into a spider before splashing myself with the potion.
>>48260839
Accio sword.
>>48256869
Impenetrable Plate Armor
>A rather mundane looking suit of armor, that cannot be dinged, dented, damaged, destroyed or otherwise opened in any way. It's also impossible to put on.
>>48264176
Better:
>Perfectly Safe Armor
Armor which is truly invulnerable, and protects its wearer from any external force.
To prevent its safety from being breached, it cannot be removed.
>>48261946
>Play a druid
>Shift into a spider
>Splash potion on self
>Start climbing the air
>"It said perfectly climb ANYTHING, didn't it?"
>>48264176
>Tie armor to front of cart
>Smash your way through the world
>>48260839
Another site I visitFunnyJunk, if you must know,has an PbP-RP section, where you start as 1 of 4 base classes. (Fighter/Wizard/Cleric/Rogue)
Rogue's start with that very item, The Vast Satchel, filled to the brim with every weapon type imaginable, various items, foodstuffs and even magical artifacts. Only problem is that you have no control over what you get. Sometimes you get the Everburning Sword, sometimes you get the Piece of Toast.
>>48256869
Boots of Water Walking
>Lead-lined boots that allow the wearer to walk through any body of water (liquid) as briskly as if it were air.
>Only when the wearer is completely submerged of course.
>>48264777
Potion of Water Breathing and that item becomes a solid part of any escape plan.
>Good luck catching me, I'm behind 7 fish.
>>48264822
>Potion of Water Breathing
Every time you take a breath of air, you breath in water instead.
Sorry, you're not amphibious.
>>48256869
Convexing Mirror
>A small, ornate, hand mirror that always reflects an exaggerated image.
>Facial features are slightly distorted while clothing colors might appear brighter than they are.
>Environments such as hallways or structures will relect a door or guard that isn't there.
>>48256869
Helm of comprehend languages.
Instead of giving the wearer the ability to understand any language, the helm itself does so, and when worn, loudly shouts translations in the common tongue
>>48264946
>*teleporta behind you*
Wow.
>>48256869
Pacifist Blade
>a truly stunning work of craftsmanship. The sword is perfectly balanced, jewel encrusted and sharp enough to cut down an oak with but a flick of the wrist.
>unfortunately the sword abhors violence and will actively avoid it. When attempting to draw in combat, the sword will stay sealed in it's sheath. If used offensively or defensively in any way, it will avoid landing blows at all costs while verbally berating it's wielder. Sometimes calling for help in the process.
>if the sword is forced to harm someone, it will launch into an uncontrollable sobbing wail. The emotional tirade won't end until the sword can speak to a cleric, in private, to confess it's sins and seek penance.
>>48265314
Little did the fucker know, I was a hologram this whole time.
>>48265118
Concaving Mirror
>Provides a +2 bonus to dungeoneering checks. Magnifies air currents, reveals darkened areas, outlines water sources
>>48256869
Arrow of swiftness
>> anyone shot by this arrow moves at double speed until the arrow is removed
>>48259783
Confirmed for new Overwatch character.
>>48256869
Amulet of Minor Destruction
Every d10 minutes, an item worth less than 10 gp (chosen by the GM) within 50 feet of the amulet will vanish. There is no getting it back.
>>48256885
>Useless
Uh, anon, that's an amazing torture device.
>>48266279
The club or the bagpipes?
>>48266308
Both, actually. The club is self explanatory, while you can use the bagpipes to rudely interrupt a hanging or royal ball.
>>48256869
Have the players find a perfectly preserved wizard, who appears to have died of asphyxiation. He's wearing a strange ring that radiates incredible abjuration magic. Nothing the players do can pierce the shield, short of a well-worded wish spell.
>>48266375
Damn it, now I have to put that in my game.
>>48257852
Pc's never thought of that, but yes... They did.
>>48265155
That's actually really useful, although probably going to garner strange glances from the natives
>>48266389
Awesome.
>>48260163
>Concrete reality lights up just fine
>Does not help enlighten the user to philosophical concepts
>>48266389
Knowing my players, they'd probably just start dragging around an invincible corpse.
Not magic items but during my first D&D character creation I bought a ton of stuff from the equipment page, the others made fun of my for buying all the stuff... until I saved us multiple times with them, like using the crowbar and spade to jam close doors so we could escape, or a sack of salt to Preserve hunted meat on long trips that we were starving on, or using ink and pen+ paper from a blank book in conjunction with animal messenger to convey complicated battle plans to win a war.
>>48256869
Weapons of Unsafe Returning (your bladed weapons fly back like an unsteady boomerang)
this bow adds +1d6 damage to thrown arrows!
>>48264341
Getting pretty Exalted in here.
>>48265759
You mean the TF2 medic?
>>48257944
So a group of warriors wearing them become the Ginyus?
>>48256869
The ability to turn himself into string. Sadly the guy reads Jojo so it was far from useless.
>>48260285
Could be handy if illusions are involved.
>>48260461
>Your cleric fails to avoid the pressure plate. It clicks, closing all exits from the room and filling it with fire
SWEEP JENSON, SWEEP FOR OUR FUCKING LIVES!
>>48259979
>>48260012
>>48260615
>Wand of Raise dead
> acquire a dead body, preferably fresh
> tie heavy equipment to it, make it levitate and hover above ground on your chest level
> now you have a cart that you can push around to transport stuff. super handy in swamps and for general travel.
Also ability to lift stuff at any(?) height is amazing. Imagine sneaking to a town wall, stealth killing a guard, tying grenades and bombs to his body and making him levitate to the level of guards on the wall. fuck yes.
BUT IF YOU ORDER NOW and find a really big and mean corpse (horse,cyclops,cave spider,elephant, or a FUCKING BLUE WALE if you want to be extra mean) then lift it really, really high during dark night, you could make a neat trap to lure your enemies under for a glorious splat.
>>48256983
epic
you know, sometimes i like to wake up in the morning and just
yell at women on the internet
>>48260535
Could be used to look around a corner at something with heat vision.
>>48258639
As someone with chronically sweaty feet to the point that I will develop athlete's foot if I wear shoes for more than about 7 hours at a time, I'd kill someone in front of their own grandmother for these.
>>48271363
More or less. It was a naval campaign though, so they were putting out fires on the boat.
>>48267539
>>48266389
>>48267039
>Wear that necklace that provides infinite air
Now all you have to do is get around needing to eat, assuming you can't remove the ring yourself.
>>48271583
You also need to drink inside the shield, also shit and piss somewhere anon. If you have decided to be a smart fuck, GM will also step up his game. You probably would have trouble walking around (as spherical forcefield won't fit trhough usual doorways), and you probably wouldn't be able to grab objects outside. Have fun trying to open a door with a key for example.
>>48270136
Wasn't that One Piece rather than Jojo? Though yes, Jojo is full of similar "seemingly useless" stuff like the kid who could play rock paper scissors for wagers on anything and the wagers always had to be immediately paid in full.
>>48271696
I mean, I'm only trying to solve the immediate limitations of this. Obviously you could skirt most of these problems by being a construct or an undead, outsider or something. The problem is the inevitable escalation that results and it either ends up with you being dead or Fiat making you so. There are ways to skirt the doorways (shrinking yourself)Also the forcefield wasn't explicity spherical, could just be personal range.and grabbing objects could be solved by telekinetics in whatever form that takes. Obviously it's still an arms race, but if you're GM isn't going to be a dickhead about it, you can actually use it. Problem is he WILL be a dickhead, considering it's invulnerability, so he has every reason to do so.
>>48271696
Basically as soon as you equip the ring you're doomed to drown in your own piss.
>>48271884
Not if you drink it first! Also solves water problem!
>4 days later
"...Fucking kill me"
>>48271901
So, anything below your neck is going to look like pic related, you have no food, and you have to drink your own piss to survive. All this assuming you can even manage to remove the ring from its previous owner in the first place.
Fun, fun, fun!
>>48271855
I like the idea of it completely coating every part of your body like impenetrable ceran wrap, down to the last microbe. Coated in this way, you would be unable to breathe or process food, and you would die a slow, painful death.
>>48271517
The helmet isn't invisible though, just your head while wearing it.
>>48260351
The dust would still be made of wood, right? It's even better kindling.
And if you can rig it to spam activate, it's a dust cloud.
Potentially explosive dust cloud.
>>48258879
>>48258751
>>48258727
Yeah, the water does not permeate the sock's material. It is inside the sock's cavity and outside, but the sock remains dry.
There may also be a constant creation and annihilation of water going on it's border, but that's no effect to the outside of the cup.
>>48258699
>A chalice with infinite water inside
I have a whole desert oasis starting with one of those things.
There were wars fought over another.
>>48258800
Yeah that's how I run illusions of that sort.
The lamp shows you what you /think/ is in the illuminated room. It doesn't care what's really there.You could use it as a holodeck with a bit of concentration practice.
>>48259758
Aw man that drops the fun shenanigans.
Otherwise rising it and spooking people would be awesome.
>>48271410
So, fallout corpse-storage exploit.
>>48269894
Spider SMA is the best thing ever.
>>48264176
Polymorph to slime, slither in, fill it, turn back into human.
Note that the suit may also be immovable due to fused joints, but with the right spell choice you can just turn to goo again.
May not work on >>48264237 as it may prevent liquids from entering due to safety reasons.
>>48264946
>original recipe comes from unamphibious mermen
>>48271583
>>48271583
>>48271696
Ring of Sustenance, Prestidiation.
>>48271733
Yea it was a high-end facet of Doflamingo's power.
Turning /everything/ into strings.
Still, JoJo provides the necessary attitude just as well.
>>48272057
Putting it on a golem still has no problems.
>>48272152
>putting it on a golem still has no problems.
Well, yes, but since pressure waves can't penetrate the shield, it can't obey commands.
>>48272152
>Ring of Sustenance, Prestigitation.
Still drowning in piss.
>>48271977
What if you cut your finger off
>>48256869
>Helm of Third Person View
A helm without eyeslots. While worn, the wearer's vision originates from a position a few feet behind and a couple feet above his head. A highly disorienting experience.
>>48258872
Also you are the overgod that dreams the world. You just forgot about it.
>>48271733
I think he was referencing the fact that Jolyne Cujoh's stand is literally made of strings (if I recall correctly)
>>48261161
You know that kicking, elbow or knee strikes, headbutting or vigorous humping are all valid forms of unarmed combat, don't you? Having your hands full doesn't change anythng.
>>48260710
>a ball of hay
you do know that tumbleweeds are a real plant?
This thread is the reason my players will hate downtown magic bazaars
Forget-Me Stick
>A Magical Rod made of polished oak. Any humanoid struck by the Rod instantly forgets the last 1d4 hours. A successful Wis Save (DC20) will halve this effect. If used in combat, the victim gains advantage on the Savings Throw.
>3 charges.
Ring of Darkness
>Putting on the Ring blinds the wearer for 1d6+1 hours.
Invisible Helmet
>A helmet...that's invisible...
>>48274053
>>A helmet...that's invisible...
This would be incredibly useful if you can get it on. Imagine lines of soldiers approaching in nothing but padded under gear, and arrows just bounce right off of them.
Wand of time stop
>All clocks in a 60 ft area malfunction and stop ticking
Gauntlets of heated fist
>A pair of wool gauntlets that keep your hands warm
Homing lasso
>When thrown and held by its other end, this rope ties itself and grants a +4 bonus to attack rolls
Magnetic mallet
>This mallet exerts a special force towards any metallic item, repelling them for a -2 on attack against metallic alloys
Whistle of summon water mount
>A giant rubber duck capable of floating the character's weight appears on its close surroundings every time the whistle is blown
>>48265397
8/8
>>48256869
A trick ring of detect magic. It detected magic alright, no matter where you were or what you pointed it at. Took months for the wizard to figure out it was a scam.
Coat of Fake Jewelry
It looks like an ordinary coat, but digging around in the pockets reveals rings, necklaces, earrings, the works, and it never seems to run dry. Of course, every bit of it is utterly fake, brass made to look gold-ish in the right light, colored glass stones, tin made to look silver, the works. Now, for the right kind of con artist, it's invaluable, but for the average person it's pretty much worthless.
>>48274496
>infinite brass
>infinite glass
>infinite scrap metal
Dude. What.
Numenera is full of this shit. Once my players defeated some mutant lizard who wielded an axe too big for any of them to use. One player used the gimmicky thingy of levitation he had, and them they gave the levitating useless giant axe to the old crazy time-slipping grandpa nano player. He used it as an intimidation tool.
>>48259202
Normal balls may be uneffective at detecting slopes of 1-3 degrees
>>48258879
No u
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPM8OR6W6WE
>>48269928
She's a Sniper
>>48260168
These aren't even spiders
These are Harvestmen, also arachnids, but harmless and fucking afraid of humans
>>48264341
>>48264176
Animate it.
Posessed invincible armor will rage through anything that can't dispel magic.
>>48267539
An invincible corpse is, in of itself, a great semi-useless magic item. While, yes, indestructible anything is always useful, certain sizes and shapes make it unwieldy to use for anything you want an indestructible whatsit for.
>>48268729
Does the bonus apply to all thrown weapons, or just arrows? Since it's more fun to find uses for useless junk, remove the string, carry it in your off-hand, and market it as the rod of great throwing. Bonus points for shoe-horning in a reference to how it makes objects behave more like arrows, and that's why it looks like a bow.
>>48273526
That's the joke. It summons a tumbleweed when you slowly reach for your weapon. It's called the Belt of Duel.
Easily synergizes well with the Gun of High Noon, which automatically hits and criticals once per tumbleweed within thirty feet.
>>48265397
This would be astonishingly useful for literally anything that requires an edged tool besides combat.
Cleave bone in surgery, split rock in a quarry, be a lumberjack of unparalleled ability.
It would work even better than power tools for construction work.
>>48274757
I think he means that the Medic has a Crossbow that can be used to heal allies.
>>48274520
My thoughts exactly. Hell, even the fact it's costume jewelry doesn't mean it's cheap. You ever try to buy non-plastic shit at a costume store? Not expensive, but it ain't free neither. Free products sold at greater than free price means total profit.
>>48274686
Thank you for pointing that out. That would make it a fantasy version of a bubble level. Now I envision a gnome architect giving the PCs a confused look at their insistence one of his trades most common tools is totally useless.
>>48275634
The joke did not escape me, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to guess that you meant tumbleweed when you said hay.
Hay is deliberately-dried grass. Humans make it out of grass to feed to animals.
Tumbleweed is tumbleweed. Tumbleweeds make them to spread tumbleweed seeds.
They are different organisms. They also behave differently. A lump of hay will not roll by dramatically unless you spend an hour carefully drying and glueing it into shape, it's either going to be the wrong shape to roll or the right shape but too heavy or high enough winds will tear it apart.
This is because tumbleweeds have used evolution to become good at being blown around by winds, whereas hay has not. By the time grass has become hay, it is no longer part of the gene pool, and farmers do not select for hay bales that fucking roll away in light winds
-Book of Unspeakable Horrors: A book that seems to be bound in the skin of an otherworldly monster. Inside is a truly terrible romance novel.
-Spyglass of Fate: when you look into the spyglass, it will show you exactly where you will be if you walk in the direction you were pointing it
-Cloak of Illusive Night: when you cover your body with this cloak, you think that you are invisible, when in fact you are not
-That One Ring: when you put on this ring, you are reminded of a ring of power, but you can't quite put your finger on which one
-Banjo of Summoning: When you play this instrument, it summons a guy who hates the banjo and tells you to knock it off
-Amulet of Water Breathing: Insantly fills users lungs with water
-Sword of Dragonslaying - Gives obvious advice on slaying dragons
-The Fire Distinguisher - When pointed at an object, tells you if it's Fire or not.
-Amulet of Reverse Gravity - When used, it reverses the gravity of the Amulet and amulet only, and it flies up to the sky
1-The Rope of Truths from a Certain Point of View, whoever is tied up with this rope must tell the truth or what any being they know may believe the truth to be
-The book of Charisma, this book passes all charisma saves and checks
-The Horn of Dignity, summons allies just in time to give you a proper burial
-Clothes of perfect fit, if donned they become whatever the wearers deepest darkest wish for clothing
-The double headed axe of truths, One axe head always tells the truth and the other always lies, both of them have a -10 to all knowledge checks
-Rod of desire, glows with the light of a torch when the bearer is aroused
-Scroll of Party Starter: Everyone’s clothes and armor teleports 10 feet to the left
-Ring of Bugs - Putting the ring on causes the wearer to uncontrollably read the surface thoughts of all insects in a ten foot radius.
>>48275814
I'm not the guy who wrote the item, just the one who responded to you. But I think he was trying to make a tumbleweed joke without explicitly using the name of the plant so that you have to make an inference from his description, and ball of hay is a decent description of a tumbleweed if you've never seen one before.
>>48275980
>scroll of party starter
Thank you for making that reference
>>48261161
Sounds like you're a retard.
>>48271696
Ring of sustenance, or simply be something that doesn't need to eat/drink.
Stay outside when you fight.
>>48256869
I was running a one shot game based on Indiana Jones style artifact hunting in an el dorado style city that appeared from the mists and one of the first items they found was a pair of magical goggles which when put on seemingly did nothing. Turns out they were a pair of "goggles of Mundane Sight" for one of the npcs that was born with the ability to see magic auras in magic items, she had crafted those goggles because she was pretty much blinded by the saturation of magicalness in el dorado.
>>48275980
>everyone's clothes and armor teleport ten feet to the left
....can't tell if hitchhiker's reference or if I'm just an idiot...
>>48276226
Still have to get it off the dead wizard (you can't)
>>48276391
Think it's more of a Rocky Horror reference.
>>48275101
>animated armor runs amok
>enemies dog-pile it and tie it to a tree
>>48276475
whynotboth.jpg
>>48275688
Agreed.
The only thing my players did with it was use it as a grappling hook and a doorstop.
>>48256869
The plot hook:
Whirling then releasing this hook will cause it to attach to the nearest plot-crucial item.
A rod that does nothing
>Ring of insect dominance
A small cloud of mosquitoes follows you at all times and obeys your every command, except "Quit biting me"
>>48276475
I remember it being from the Hitchhiker's Guide TV series, from one of the guide entries (or maybe the Encyclopedia Galactica), though not sure what said entry was about.
The Great Ring of Magical Finding. When worn, will show you the location of the nearest enchanted item. Usually the finger you put the ring on.
>>48276391
>>48278294
It's from the movie, in a digression about early alternate uses for the infinite improbability drive. Might also be in the book as well, it's been a while since I read it.
>>48278348
Here's the actual quote:
"The principle of generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) were of course well understood — and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the theory of indeterminacy.
Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sorts of parties."
>Boots of unnoticeable growth.
If you wear the boots, from your own first person perspective you appear to be 6 inches taller, but to anyone else you don't appear to have changed in size whatsoever.
>>48278483
>partly because it was a debasement of science,
And yet here we are using a network of worldwide communication and the repository of all human knowledge to shitpost about black people, shemales, and board games on a mongolian rug-weaving forum. Science is dead and we're fucking her corpse.
>>48275980
that spyglass of fate is actually pretty fucking OP and broken.
>whip out the spyglass in the beggining of a dungeon hallway
>see an image of myself walk forward a few steps but then be impaled by spike traps in the floor
>casually wave my hand and levitate across while I laugh at the rogue fiddling with disarming the thing
>>48275980
>Spyglass of Fate: when you look into the spyglass, it will show you exactly where you will be if you walk in the direction you were pointing it
I see some uses for this.
>>48259978
>Universally Immovable Rod of Dragon Slaying
>>48278233
The ring draws nearby mosquitoes you pass by up to a certain amount, and they move in a cloud so you cant command them individually. Plus, most of your body is covered in mosquitobites, even if you're resistant to them the ring makes you vulnerable again, taking like -4 to concentration checks or similar
>>48279312
They're mosquitoes, dude, their lifespan is an average of two weeks.
Plus, imagine if the man-sized mosquito decides you look like a nice evening snack
>>48279501
Feeding your monsters and making an example of those who disobey you. Nice.
>>48256869
Rod of self-cancellation
>>48256869
Those bracers would be hilariously good for sneaking shit past guards
>Attach whatever to one bracer
>Have your buddy wear it, while you wear the clean one
>Walk through checkpoint
>Say command word, you now have the thing you need to get past guards, buddy has the clean one
>Buddy walks through checkpoint
It'd be stupid good assuming you could attach things to them
>>48259832
Hey, unless I sacrificed a lot for that item, I'd be pretty hysterical
>>48280522
It'd also be good for assassinations.
>give bracer to target as a gift
>don't inform of magical properties
>coat one bracer with nerotoxin
>switch bracers
>>48274445
It's detecting itself.
>>48280706
It has infinite range
>>48278831
>>48279104
I believe the joke is that it shows you the place you will be at, not what will happen when you get there. So exactly like a spyglass
>>48259846
A three pound hammer is great.
A two pound, not bad.
A one pound? Okay, it's still unbreakable and will transfer all of the force in the exact shape of the ingot.
>>48259104
Does the solar system not move through the galaxy? The galaxy through the universe?
I currently have:
Spell that makes its target turn to butter after it is killed.
A normal Gold coin, autographed by the setting God of luck. The signature makes it so the coin Cannot be tampered in any way and will always provide a fair result.
Gravediggers boots: can't be effected by any sort of bad terrain while in a graveyard.
>>48282253
Depends on the setting.
>>48256869
Necromancer's enchanted shovel: the only shovel capable of digging half a hole. It's maker wanted to dig a hole in half the time and settled for this.
Master spyglass: sees through everything. Everything.
Coat of forced compliments: enchanted to look tacky; however, it fits it's owner really well so people feel inclined to offer a complement (but don't actually like it).
>>48282253
> tactical hammer ....
slap some hockey tape on the handle of this bugger an let lose brah
>>48258639
Huh... My DM gave a similar item, exept the socks could Secrete grease
>>48282490
In order:
Start a crab shack, Waffle Barn, Pancake pit, your choice of any foodstuff requiring butter.
Do I really need to mention the usefulness of an always fair coin?
I've participated in quite a few graveyard battles to the death recently. Those would be super nice to have.
>Deck of Many Zings
Box of cards, where each card bears a witty retort that may or may not fit the situation at hand.
>Griddle of Masculinity
Enchanted cookware that causes those who eat things made on it to feel confident, macho, and empowered.
>Wand of Create Fire
A giant strike-anywhere match. One use.
>Holy Cymbals
Giant pair of cymbals, when used causes sonic damage to any undead and evil creatures who can hear the sound. Annoys other creatures.
>Ring of Detect Weevil
Determines if there are weevils in your general vicinity.
>Glass Jaw of Vecna
Grants incredible magical power, user goes down from one solid hit to the face.
>>48256869
A music box that only plays slow clap applause.
>>48284051
That's going to get annoying fast, especially when some chucklefuck pulls up a slow clap recording on youtube and the whole group laughs along with their shitty breed of predictable and unironic humor.
>>48283973
>a small elegant fork from some noble's silverware becomes a near mythic item when the town comes under siege. Indeed, the fork appears to have the magical ability to detect lesser weevil and has saved many a poor sod from starvation.
>>48283973
Griddle of Masculinity sounds pretty dope, especially if it granted some kind of mechanical bonus, not gonna lie.
>>48284124
I'd be great if it was sentient and would obnoxiously shout it's opinion of food at dinner parties.
>>48280624
How wouldyou put it on yourself though?
>>48275980
>-The Horn of Dignity, summons allies just in time to give you a proper burial
pretty broken if you're already doomed, at least in situations where you would be taken alive for torment, or the foes would make to desecrate your body if they had the chance. Just give it to the advanced guard of your forces, you'll always be there in time if they get overrun.
>>48256869
>Hole-y platemail: platemail blessed by the God of doorways, openings and synonyms.
Perks are it makes you more likely to pick locks, but extremely vulnerable to well aimed arrow strikes
>>48284313
not if they are overrun, but you'll be there just after they are overrun,
Ring of invisibility: The ring is invisible. Does nothing to the wearer. The player found it by picking up the cloak it was on and hearing it fall.
Cloak of Chameleon: Changes to garish and mismatching colors. Draws attention away from you to it.
Baton of Balance: When dropped, it balances perfectly, no matter the terrain. The player ended up using it to hold up a table on a rocky ship.
Amulet of Detect Thought: Able to tell if something is thinking. The stronger the thought, the stronger the detection. It was used to detect an invisible assailant.
Deck of Your Mom: Every card you pull out is just a picture of the character's mother in a lewd pose. If placed back in the deck, it'll be a new picture to whoever removes it next. They decided to leave this one behind. This is also when they stopped looking through the chest.
All of these items were found in a chest in the middle of a dungeon, next to a skeleton. The supposed cause of death was one of his shitty magical items.
>>48285256
Deck of your Mom "pick a card any card" to a nobleman -priceless-
>>48270052
GYNYU'S BIZARRE ADVENTURES!
>>48284303
Develop an immunity to Iocane powder.
Wand of Location:
Locates whatever it is pointed at.
>>48285312
>do a tarot reading for some nobleman
>he draws his card to reveal lewd pictures of his mom
>"Oh shit, this is MY future! My mistake."
>>48258879
Are you high or retarded?
>>48285957
Are you black?
>>48274338
>>Magnetic mallet
What if it added a parry bonus? "Oh, I have no trouble landing hits but cant avoid them, oh hey look this hammer literally repels swords!"
That'd be cool.
>>48259846
Make a bigass hammer with the ingot embedded in one end of the head. There's your mass, transferring into the point.
>>48278789
Pornsites were one of the forerunners of online payment services.
>>48284177
+1 will save against fear based effects, +1 against intimidation, etc?
