What is a perfect way to ruin a barbarian character?
What do hollywood and popular culture commonly do to ruin the portrayal of barbarian culture or tribal culture?
>>48243253
>What do Hollywood and popular culture commonly do to ruin the portrayal of barbarian culture or tribal culture?
They're loincloth wearing savages that can't fucking shut up about muh honor.
make them stupid
>>48243275
>>48243275
Never actually saw hollywood make a barbarian brag about honor.
Only about killing, drinking beer and being loud and stupid.
They're too moral and inhibited
>>48243253
Hollywood stereotypical Barbarians comes from take Robert E. Howard's definition of Barbarian just like in the Conan books as someone and his tribes that live in the fringes of society and haven't reached or outright refuse the advances of technology or society.
However, what Hollywood does wrong is sticking to that part only. They read that and decide that all barbarians are dumb, backwards, and stupid and only care about slaying, fighting and raping. Now, that sounds awesome in your pre-teen kinda edgelord counter-culture way, but that's far from what actual barbarians are.
Robert E. Howard's barbarians are actually more about people who live in very hardcore, inhabittable places, who can't yet develop because of those conditions, but who have become tougher because of them. They prefer a simple lifestyle because it it's easier given their survavalistic tendencies, and because of the harsh enviroment they live in, they take great pleasure in the things that are often denied to them or hard to come by, like good mead, a time to relax and have a decent meal or a good time/sing/relax, or exotic women, because they never see other women besides their own.
Howard's barbarians are also quite intelligent, because their harsh enviroment made sure only the strong and smart ones survives. He even portrays them as being more polite than "civilized men", because barbarians will cave in the skull of anyone who is arrogant to them. They are crude and rude in their manners, but is has more to do with their sense or humor and not carrying or outright not understanding the conventions of living in society.
The "skimply clothed" is again from Howard's Conan series. Conan lived his whole life in a frigid ice-cold tundra, and when he adventures in the southern, warmer countries, he can't bear the heat, so tosses out as much clothing as he can.
>>48243284
Making them overly smart also ruins them as now you got the "brains and brawn stereotype".
>>48243501
Not necessarily. Smart =/= educated, cultured, or free thinking. A barbarian can be smart, in that he knows how to survive in the wilderness indefinitely, knows what is and isn't poisonous, and can have an immense geographic knowledge of the area. Add in problem solving to that, as well. All that could make him "smart", but he/she could still be illiterate, unable to speak more than one language, have no knowledge of cities or their infrastructure, and no mathematical understanding beyond basic counting.
>>48243501
>>48243486
What's a good way to balance out the "stupid barbarian" troope?
I ask because a player in my party has quite a smart barbarian but everyone just ups and thinks he is a dumbass.
>>48243655
make the wizard incredibly dumb
>>48243253
What is 'barbarian', for starters. Tribes living north of Greece?
>>48243655
They're Barbarians because they don't live by the same rules or codes of behaviour as you do.
Perhaps they refuse to fight pitched battles and instead ambush and raid before melting back into the woods.
Maybe their legal system uses duels to settle disputes, thus granting justice's favour to the strong, or those rich enough to hire a champion?
Maybe they let WOMEN fight in battle?
Too much rape.
>>48243253
>What is a perfect way to ruin a barbarian character?
Not knowing what approach you want to take.
You can have the idealized cunning adventuring bodybuilder like Conan
You can have the malnourished savages like the wildlings from GRRM's works
You can have them be a misunderstood culture that just happens to live a more nomadic life than the people in the cities but otherwise just like regular people.
Whatever you do, pick a theme and stick to it. Don't just make it an angry man in a loincloth who for some reason has high quality steelwork on him while living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
Multi-class it with monk and paladin.
>>48243974
So, Fafhrd?
Couple of good "done right" barbarians that are not Conan.
Joe Abercrombie's Logen "Nine-Fingers" also known as "The Bloody Nine". A well known and merciless tactician. No nonsense, but tries his best to do what is right by his morals and honor.
Prince of Nothing by R.S. Bakker has a fantatic barbarian named C'Naiur (sp?). Clever and awakened to thoughts outside of his culture, he is a man who understands war as no other. None so much a leader of men as he is a demon.
For starters, no one even wears shit like that. What is even the point of wearing furs if you're leaving most of your body exposed?
>>48244409
Well, for a long while the majority of people went into battle in either their clothes or shirtless. Bronze was super expensive, so most guys in an Egyptian, Minoan, or other Bronze Age cultures army were going around topless because it was usually better than wearing a scratchy tunic in a fight. If the culture doesn't have bronze to make any armor with, but the guy is rich and wants to show off, he might wear furs as a status symbol.
>>48243501
It's fine if they're clever. Protagonist barbarians should usually be clever.
At a bare minimum even side character barbarians should be cunning.
>>48243704
Those were a lot more like Greeks and a lot less like Hollywood barbarians.
>>48244474
Unless they were Scythians. Though they had armor but the scalping, cannibalism, and drinking wine from skulls stuff was all invented by them.
>>48243501
Considering that whole tribes of barbarians where everyone is a barbarian exists, some of them HAVE to be smart to fill in all the roles required by a society. And being smart doesn't mean you have to be literate.
>>48244507
Actually Scythians from Greek influence areas such as the north of the Black Sea were pretty hellenized.
>>48244026
Nah, Fafhrd was good at what he did. I mean someone so multi-ability dependent that they can't function in a game mechanics sense.
>>48243958
> Don't just make it an angry man in a loincloth who for some reason has high quality steelwork on him while living in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
That actually sounds like a great basis for a character that's essentially a fantasy hobo with a shotgun.
>>48243704
Historical barbarians where anyone outside of Rome.
They weren't necessarily "barbarians" as in "we live in the woods and eat people and wear pelts and burn your kids alive", but more like "we don't belong to that weird Empire whose soldiers wear skirts". Back then the word "barbarian" had more the connotation of "gentile" or "those who don't belong here" than the modern negative connotation.
Fantasy barbarians, is Conan, and every Conan copy under the sun.
>>48244519
>And being smart doesn't mean you have to be literate.
In the novels Conan not only became king, but he re-wrote the laws of Aquilonia and invented a whole quasi-modern system of taxes that didn't fuck up the people of Aquilonia and actually made them rich.
Being a barbarian doesn't mean the person has to BSOD when in front of a book, they have the same potential for learning as the other races.
Since we are all talking about Conan, I just wanna make the daily reminder that Arnie's Conan is the only true movie Conan.
Khal Drogo is just Khal Drogo trying to be Conan.
>>48243501
I love that archetype though.
Why do you not what Fantasy Khan Singh, anon?
>>48246076
Well I pictured that stereotype more like a muscular german nerd than glorious Khan Singh
>>48246134
Technically Dutch, but still in the same vein.
>>48246177
Ah yes, the peacefull waffle loving cousins of the Germans.
>>48246257
they hate each other in real life anon
>>48245983
They actually were seen as uncivilized and inferior. Not literal stone age savages, but uncivilized still.
>>48243275
Alternatively they wear bikini chainmail and can't shut up about "muh pride" even though they just want to be understood and dominated by an alpha male.Not that I never implied the barbarian in question is female
>>48246038
Khal Drogo is just Ronon Dex trying to be Khal Drogo.
>>48246448
I'm a literal retard, I just realized it's the same actor.
>>48246038
I find it ironical that an Austrian actor got the essence of Conan almost right, while in the books Conan's people are supposedly the ancestors of the Irish celts.
Can't even imagine an Irish trying to play Conan.
Barbarians were ruined from the start. They're a stupid bullshit pulp comic archetype from the days when America chose its president via bear-shooting competition, and everyone lived in terror of the vile yellow oriental chinaman.
>>48246552
Celtic culture was originated in Austria.
>>48246601
>chose its president via bear-shooting competition
You portray it as being idiotic, but that was also the age America experienced the greatest economic boom in it's history.
I say, let us get Sparta with it, throw Trump, Sanders and Hillary into a pit and throw down a single knife. He/she who climbs out gets to be president.
>>48246653
>Most ancient Celtic sites being on the Atlantic coastline
>B-But Austria
Swing and a miss there buddy.
>>48246653
>>48246552
Waaat is de riddle av steel?
>>48243683
>make the sorcerer incredibly dumb
At least he can still be useful.
>>48246655
I actually like this.
Worst case scenario: The new president knows knife-fighting.
Best case scenario: They all die and we get new candidates.
>>48246552
I think a big part of it is Conan is likable. He's a born leader, and people rally around him. Arnold is also very likable.
When you see Arnold in that role, you can understand why people gravitate to him. Memes about his accent and sillier roles aside, Arnold radiates personality and you always want to see more of him. Even when he's playing something cold and dangerous like the Terminator you still can't help but want more Arnold.
>>48246685
>>48246698
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallstatt_culture
>>48243683
>>48246730
Mandatory picture.
There is no such thing as ''barbarian culture'' you daft cunt barbarian was a buzzword Greeks and Romans used to describe anyone they dislike including Egyptians and Celts, Vandals, Visigoths, Huns were all different despite being labeled as barbarians. Hollywood didn't ruin the barbarian image it invented it.
>>48246018
Yeah, as a king he took some non-barbarian levels though.
>>48246754
>Outdated shit
People have found proto-celtic digsites predating Hallstatt culture in Spain and western france.
Though Hallstatt had the largest concentration of large celtic townships, most evidence points to Iberians being the source of the celtic culture and language.
In fact, the Celtic language and culture seems to have migrated eastwards.
>>48246740
Arnold is very charismatic in real life, and by all accounts he is a very nice person.
However I think people love Arnie's Conan for a different reason.
He isn't you typical braggish hero. He is the original silent badass. He doesn't brag, he isn't childish, he doesn't make snarky remarks. When a problem arises, he acts, he doesn't stop to have to missed emotion or moment of terror, he dultifully raises his sword and deals with it. He doesn't even cry when he loses the love of his life, he moves on, like a paragon of consistency, never stuck in the past, never blinded by the future. And when he does opens up, like that scene were he prepares with Subotai for Doom's attack, you get to see that behind that stalward shield of stoicism, he is true to himself and his close friends.
That not only makes him a great character, it makes him a character that people genuinely look up to. Now put him in contrast with your typical juvenile Chris Pratt hero of today.
> And people say Arnold is a bad actor
> And people say Conan was poorly directed.
>>48246730
I dunno, wizards can go the rock-bottom Wisdom route and thereby be useful idiots (when they're not inventing new problems for themselves).
>>48246872
[citation needed]
>>48246878
I like the idea that, just like a random savant can learn to master the sword, a random savant can master magic.
Doesn't really mean he is a genius, just means he gets the stuff and can wield it better than a learned someone because of it.
>>48243486
Wait Cimeria is a frozen wasteland? I thought it looked more like this
>>48246875
> Now put him in contrast with your typical juvenile Chris Pratt hero of today.
It's an unfair comparison. Conan was a hero based on the traditional classical "hero", with some masterfully spins put to him.
Most "heroes" of today are nothing more than self-insert tools for millenials.
>>48246929
My bad. It's actually like that, but it's depicted in book and comics as very cold, and has a frozen mountain rage near the border of the Vanir and Aesir people.
>>48246875
Chris Pratt is a totally likable and enjoyable actor and he's one of the few who pulls off the snarky braggart without it feeling cringey. Most people who try that are pretty bad at it though.
> And people say Arnold is a bad actor
I can't stand this. People like to point at Batman and Robin as a great example of his allegedly bad acting. But come the fuck on, he's literally the only person in that whole movie actually putting in any effort and he's quite honestly the only thing which makes it at all watchable.
Also Conan the Conqueror is confirmed for sometime in the next few years. Script is done, Anrold is back, they just need directors. The producers say it's gonna be like a sword and sorcery version of The Unforgiven.
>>48246897
Hallstatt is ONE of the proto-Celtic systems, but Hallstatt itself isn't THE Proto-Germanic ancestor, as Hallstatt itself comes from Urnsfield culture.
However, much more evidence points at the Atlantic Bronze age being the precursor to the Celts, especially the Gauls Iberians and Britons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantic_Bronze_Age
it's an insanely complex issue right now because it turns alot of heads on founded study, but the fact that Atlantic Bronze Age designs predate Hallstatt and are more akin to Urnfield systems then it's more likely Celtic culture arose from the combination of the two.
>>48243253
>What is a perfect way to ruin a barbarian character?
Make them female.
>>48247097
This is wrong and you're wrong. Go be wrong somewhere else.
>>48247097
>Make them female.
Worst, make them gender ambiguous, for the single reason of cattering to whinny millenials.
>>48247097
Incorrect.
Make them female and make them /keep fucking pushing that angle/.
It's the equivalent of vegans who have to insert that into conversation every 5 minutes.
YES, WE GET IT. THEY'RE BADASS WOMEN, CAN WE MOVE ON!
>>48247132
I hate when female warrior looks like a supermodel I imagine a woman who would fight for her life in a over the top dangerous fantasy land would be quite buff, scarred and ugly.
>>48247132
Nah, it's correct.
To be clear, female barbarians are fine.
The issue is, that most of the time we instead get 'Barbarians that are female'.
Where they take a barbarian and make them female solely for the sake of pandering/muh feminism.
Like that female Thor run.
>>48247070
That idea completely contradicts all we know of PIE migrations, so it doesn't really make much sense. There was definitely an Atlantic culture and there has been since at least the Megalithic Culture, but making them the proto-Celts seems a bit far-fetched.
>>48247153
How is that ambigous? She has fucking boob-plate!
>>48247178
>The female barbarian is buff, scarred and unconventionally attractive
>She doesn't dare expose herself to the man she loves because she believes she looks ugly and masculine
>>48247178
Why ugly? I'd think that as a quality separate from excessive buffness or scarredness, that'd be mainly a preexisting condition rather than one accrued over the course of fighting monsters and stuff.
>>48247384
Because muscular, scarred women are not exactly pretty.
>>48247342
>She doesn't dare expose herself to the man she loves because she believes he is actually a bear
Fixed
>>48247248
Not really if we think about it logically.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantic_Europe
The thing we need to remember is "Celtic" means "Spoke Celtic" It was a language family like Greek.
Western or Atlantic Celts like the Britons Iberians and so forth all have the same underlying Bronze age techniques, with high frequency trade between all these areas due to dating of Bronze found in briton sites being Iberian.
Atlantic culture digsites ALSO show trade with Urnfield system cultures too, who predate the Hallstatt as their direct predecesor
Both the Atlantic culture System and the Urnfield Culture System outdate Hallstatt by a good few centuries, however finds like https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carp%27s_Tongue_complex Show the Atlantic culture system didn't die out with the onset of the celtic language and infact are dated AFTER Hallstatt
Like I said, it does fuck shit up in the current community, the idea of a seperate thriving TRADING Atlantic culture is fairly new.
The most logical conclusion to draw is celts are an Amalgamation of the Urnfield Culture System and Atlantic culture system,
The thing to remember, Celtic is a language first, then became a culture.
make a loli barbarian
>>48247292
> she is a man anon
>>48247178
Why does being buff and scarred make her ugly? Or do you just mean she was too ugly to be marriageable so she became a warrior instead? Because that actually makes sense.
>>48247710
Muscular girls are hideous mutants.
I think I am actually a barbarian.
>>48247751
I agree too much muscle mass isn't very attractive. But a good amount of tone is pretty hot, at least in my opinion. A woman can be strong and physically active without being full on body-builder.
I imagine anyone in a barbarian's position would have a more rounded physique caused by the realities of their life.
>>48247833
Don't forget to tip your fedora Malcolm.
>>48247853
What does this have to do with atheism or whatever it was?
>>48247853
>fedora tipping
Back the fuck up. Since when did saying there's different female physiques than just "skinny waif" and "musclebound beargirl" become fedora-tier?
>>48247906
>Why yes I do enjoy strong, empowered females
>>48244107
Cnaiür urs Skiötha is the GOAT barbarian after Conan.
>>48247945
Not that guy, but what if I enjoy strong women because it's much more satisfying to dominate them? Still fedora?
>>48247945
Nigger, fedora warriors are like the opposite of "strong independent womyn" assholes. They're more into damsal fantasies and prefer demure waifubait instead of toned action girls.
If I'm into "strong, empowered females" then you should call me an SJW or a cuck or some shit. You'd still be wrong and a dumbass, but at least you'd be consistent with internet stereotypes.
>>48247987
Yeah I'm sure you could dominate them Malcolm I can imagine it
>Oh you watch One Piece and play Warhammer? Put your fedora on me and fuck me hard!
>>48248012
Not everyone who browses this board is a carbon copy of you, stop projecting.
>>48248028
I'm sure an alpha male would be on a board about plastic soldiers and pretending to be knights.
>>48248052
Man Vin Diesel sure is a beta male.
>>48248072
One Vin Diesel doesn't prove anything. You are not as charismatic, rich, handsome or Riddickish as him you neckbeard fatso you are just a Malcolm.
>>48248112
The fuck is a Malcolm anyway, are you accusing him of being the protagonist of that sitcom?
>>48248170
Malcolm is the most ''that guy'' tier name in history of mankind and most likely all living creatures in the universe do you remember that one weird fuck who smelled like lard and watched anime? That's Malcolm. That guy who vomited in girl's mouth whn he kissed her? Malcolm.
>>48248234
I dunno, the biggest, spergiest weirdos I've met have all had names like "Dennis" or "Danny"
>>48247018
Holy fuck, what?
>>48248072
The thing is that after you become famous enough, you can do beta things with impunity. http://kh-vids.net/threads/famous-people-who-like-anime.88783/
I think there's even some hardcore gangsta rapper who constantly tweets about anime he likes, but I forgot his name.
>>48248417
It's happening anon. Let's just hope it doesn't wind up in development hell. Arnold does really want it to happen though.
It is a little sad knowing Mako won't be in it.
>>48243253
How the fuck would Hollywood ruin a culture that has never existed?
>>48247455
Where in the lore does it say she is a man?
I liked /tg/ much better before it was filled with reactionaries who paid too much attention to social media.
>>48248514
Another Terminator: Genysis is just what we need. Get hype!
>>48247945
Fit women are hot.
>>48248914
>>48243253
>How does pop culture ruin word that originated to designate human looking but primitive and savage beasts.
What you mean is how did the "noble savage" movement ruin the meaning of barbarian and replace it with something that isn't a sub human shitmonger.
>>48250085
>barbarian
> sub human shitmonger.
Found the Roman.
>>48243275
It's especially bad if it's viking barbarians. Looks chilly.
>>48248314
All of the biggest sperglords I ever met had very awesome names.
Like Khan (asian), Lambert, Yuri, Derek, Victor, Marcus
And coincidentially, the most badass person I even know has a stupid name.
He is called Pablo
>>48244556
That's common among all nomadic people. Tribes that settle close to the borders of civilization often took up that culture as their own. The Chinese referred to the tribes that this as 'cooked' and were considered much less dangerous than the savages north of them.
>>48243253
>What do hollywood and popular culture commonly do to ruin the portrayal of barbarian culture or tribal culture?
They make them white, instead of, you know, non-white
>>48248703
Wow how can you even say that? I just can't even. I even knocked the plate of chicken tenders out of my mom's hands after reading that.
>>48254451
White barbarians are axe-wielding leather clad savages, instead of white trash on reddit and breitbart.
>>48243253
The main problem with Barbarians are
A. They are all Not!Conan (Losing the rest of the stuff that makes Conan interesting)
B. There are SO many "Barbarian" cultures you have to kind of mix them all together.
>>48243628
I once played a barbarian who was regarded as the dumb muscle of the party, yet sometimes he blurted out the most obvious, common sense things that not even the wizard had realized.
I miss that guy
>>48247434
>Like I said, it does fuck shit up in the current community, the idea of a seperate thriving TRADING Atlantic culture is fairly new.
Eh, you gotta remember that trade routes from England to Egypt existed during stone age already. And Cesar certainly must've gotten his boats and guides from somewhere when he made a foray into the Islands.
>>48245983
IIRC "barbarian" was a term for people speaking a diffrent language from Greeks, based on the "fact" non-greek languages sounded like babbling "bar bar" to them
Racism, pretty much.
The more I read about Conan the more I want to read Howard's shit.
![conan-xuthal-of-the-dusk-header[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8Nbx4s5.jpg "conan-xuthal-of-the-dusk-header[1].jpg")
>>48256680
It's all in the public domain now (in some countries) and the stories are individually short.
So what are you waiting for?Kull > Conan, but that's just, like, my opinion.
>>48256496
Oh yeah no doubt there were continental trade routes.
The Thing that upheaves everything is how stupidly close all the trading in the Atlantic culture system is.
Like, you could walk from southerin britain to southern space and so little things changed.
>>48243253
They make them amazing at being barbarians.
Being a barbarian is about NOT HAVING NICE SHIT, which is why they all end up conquering some nicer civilization, settling down, and not be barbarians any more.
When you have loincloth wearing savages that ALSO have amazing metallurgy and the spare time and resources to make ornate skull-codpieces or impractical helmets and weapon that show amazing craftsmanship the whole concept becomes stupid.
A person that fights in very little armour because his culture doesn't really into mining makes sense. A person who wears almost no armour and then a fucking helmet that a knight would be jealous of and an axe that looks like someone made it on a cnc mill or spent 800 man hours filing does NOT make sense. It's just Warcraft-tier silliness.
>>48256680
>The more I read about Conan the more I want to read Howard's shit.
So just read it you lazy slob.
http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks13/1303751h.html
God in the Bowl
Tower of the Elephant
Rogues in the House
The Devil In Iron
The People of the Black Circle and Red Nails are all pretty great as standalone stories.
Phoenix on the Sword and Hour of the Dragon should only be read if you give a shit about conan, they're more like important lore events than particularly great stories compared to the others, except for short parts.
A lot of the best ones also have comics directly based on them, People of the Black Circle and Tower of the Elephant are among the best comic adaptations of his works. You can find them in the "Savage Sword of Conan" run that you can download off torrent sites, read them n black and white like a man.
Does primitive hunting, and wearing furs make you a barbarian?
>>48244107
Yeah, but the "bloody nine" alter ego is also a fucking beserker who can't tell friend from foe. He literally explains it as "sometime i get angry and kill everything". So that asepct of his character can't be ignored.
>>48257090
You have 10 seconds to take that animu shit out of here or I'm putting my dick in you.
>>48256854
Wow, no need to be mean, anon. I'm a sensitive little flower with delicate petals. Your insults have deeply hurt me emotionally and now I'm going to sit in my special happy space pillowfort until I can stop crying.Thanks for the link, fagman.
>>48243253
>he's a drunk
>he can't read
>he has no ranger levels
>he has no concept of etiquette
>he doesn't get along with rogues
>he doesn't understand or explore other cultures and regions
and possibly the worstno enormous mustache
>>48246698
>Crom ya cunt
>I daown't pray much
>never quite got my wallabaloos around the lingo
>but ya ain't a sorry cunt
>ya like vaaalor and the loike
>so gimme a fat 'un
>lemme get these cunts in the dingleberries
>right in there
>check their oil with my crocstickah
>and if you can't swallah that Marmite
>yew can fuck right off m8
>>48256016
Just do some research
>Gael Barbarian
>Celt Barbarian
>Visigoth/Hun Barbarian
>Mongol Barbarian
>Samoan Barbarian
It takes all of 20 minutes to google up a culture and familiarize yourself with their dress, military fetish, and traditions.
I've personally always wanted to play a Celt or Gael barbarian so I can get away with hanging dong while charging into battle.
>>48259492
>Roman Barbarian
>Headhunter, will shamelessly plunder dead bodies both to decorate his abode and to supplement his gear
>believes in magic that doesn't actually work, will try to use such magic to curse people who cross him
>will holler "Sorcery, Sorcery!" whenever he recognizes that somebody's rolling for persuation
>nihilist, likely to get caught up in some wierdass cult and/or join the army just to temporarily still that feeling of futility
>>48260408
>Roman Barbarian
>>48260487
Are we talking about a barbarian from up Londinium way traveling in the Empire proper, possibly as a slave gladiator with options to earn his fully recognized citizenship, or just ill-treated and non-respected who would rather fight the good fight than build Hadrian's dippy little wall?
>>48243253
Read the original Conan books. DO THAT.
>>48246257
We germans like waffles too. Luftwaffles to be specific. :^)
>>48256680
Do it. I bought a book that collects all conan stories by Howard not long ago. It's great so far.
