This is the Shopkeeper.
What does he sell?
>>48232864
A human being that you can't get wet or feed after midnight.
I'm thinking lots and lots of glass and porcelain objects.
>>48232864
smoking products and mysterious pipe herbs from places you've never heard of
hard dickings.
>>48232934
also holy shit I think this is the first time I've ever said porcelain
>>48232864
nightmares
>>48232864
Damnation.
And dildos.
>>48232864
Drugs obviously.
>>48232864
Watches and other contrivances that rely on driving tiny gears with tiny springs.
>>48232864
Rope. Also carpentry supplies, and some cloth. For if you're building a cart or a ship.
>>48232967
...but who buys those?
>>48233055
>>48232884
Came to basically post this.
>>48233055
You buy them for other people. It's a gift shop.
>>48232864
Shrooms.
>>48233181
>>48232864
Despair
>>48232864
What DOESN'T he sell? Good sir, you have stumbled upon Grandpa Gizmo's Glorious Giftshop! He has a fine selection of useful trinkets, potions, scrolls and charms! He has an adorable collection of hand-knitted dolls, kids love them! He has snacks, drinks, local fresh fruits and exotic meats (try the dragon jerky, it has a spicy kick to it!)! He has clothing, armor, shields and weapons! He even has mercenaries and soldiers of fortune for hire! Try Trankalog the Terrible or Merkelond the Merciless, now at half price!
Please remember though, shoplifting is not tolerated.
>>48232864
Anything and everything, literally. You could walk in and end up buying yourself somehow. Just don't ask were he gets it all or how he's avoided being arrested for some of the things he sells. Also, never, NEVER shoplift. He'll know regardless of how good you are, and you DO NOT want to see what he does with shoplifters.
>>48232864
I don't know, but he takes payment only in innocence.
>>48232864
Shopkeepers
The bartered souls of sinners from another dimension.
He's actually an alien demon reaping the dividends of his harvest.
>>48233181
>>48232864
Exceptionally mundane things that he/she/it finds to be absolutely fascinating.
>>48232864
Blowjobs
>>48232864
He sells souls for which you pay him in souls. He also sells shoes, which have souls.
>>48232864
numerous body parts he cut off of corpses
>>48232864
Drink'n ethanol and some rare earth elements that are all his shitty backwater planet are good for.
>>48232944
He has some free samples in the air, it's so dank you got high not even a foot through the door. That's not even the shopkeep you're talking to, that's his cat.
>>48233112
Thanks guy, now i've got that stuck in my head.
>>48236081
>>48234803
>>48234609
Aw come on guys, you make him sound like he's some sort of horrible beast! I mean i'm not going to sit here and say that he doesn't sell all those things and accept alternative payments such as innocence, because he most definitely does, but he's just keeping with supply and demand. He's actually a fairly decent fellow and a shrewd businessman.
>>48232864
Goggles, shades and sunglasses.
>>48232864
Uh... hi there. Nice to see you again... I think.
>That is *funny*. You think you *see* Orz but Orz are not *light reflections*. Maybe you think Orz are *many bubbles* too. It is such a joke.
>Orz are not *many bubbles* like *campers*. Orz are just Orz.
>I am Orz. I am one with many *fingers*.
My *fingers* reach through into *heavy space* and you *see* *Orz bubbles*
but it is really *fingers*.
>Maybe you do not even *smell*? That is sad.
>*Smelling* *pretty colors* is the best *game
>>48232864
>What does he sell?
Himself. Sensually. He'll do things to you you won't believe.
hundreds of styles of weapons and armor, each one with slightly worse stats than what you already have
>>48232996
This
>>48232864
Mostly baked goods but you can get some space coke if you know the right password.
>>48237688
Yeah Yeah Yeah space bubbles man cool cool listen about that space coke...
>>48239877
The password is 12345 isn't it.
>>48232864
Tea, spices, tobacco, cane sugar. Oh and porn, but you have to go in the back through the bead door for it.
>>48232864
Hentai porn
>>48232864
You and me.
>>48232864
Horrifying Anal Rape.
Dicks and pussys.
And some bodypart enlargement.
>>48232967
...and nightmare accessories.
>>48233055
I totally would.
last nightmare I had was about a SICK FLYING SKELETAL SERPENT.
That shit is gold.
>>48233055
it's better than not having any dreams.
>>48232884
Pretty sure I dated that one at some point back at the highschool.
>>48245402
Ba-dum.
>>48232864
Dreams. It's a hobgoblin in a Goblin Market from nWoD Changeling
>>48243966
My nightmares are about the crushing, inescapable mundanity of my life. Can we trade?
>>48232864Child molestation.
>>48247752
Fuck, that movie was a disappointment.
>>48247606
I don't think so.
because I enjoy my sick metal covers and strange scooby-doo like chase scenes.
Though, I could do with less of the "you thought you got something you really wanted, but you were actually dreaming, haha!" dreams.
Goddamn videogames that don't exist and I can't purchase. I want monster punch- the odyssey (and RPG adventure) so badly.
>>48245291
>>48247606
>>48250406
At least it's better than being awake.
He actually just runs a general goods store.
>>48232864
Rings of contrariness
>>48232864
Pickled Eggs. Only pickled eggs. You have to fish the eggs out of the jar yourself with a ladle.
Commemorative glass coins holding illusions/holograms instead of the normal means of engraving.
>>48232864
Very strong potions.Potions too strong for you, traveller
>>48232864
Pesto
>>48232864
Pictures of me being happy
>>48254795
That'd explain why he's out of stock.
>>48232864
tbhfam he looks like he sells lsd
>>48232864
Your family and friends baked into pies.
>>48254808
