D&D PUNS! GO!
I suppose other games are OK too.
>>47932084
>How do you stop an elf from drowning?
>Take your foot of its head.
>What stops the elf falling out their trees?
>The ropes around their necks!
>How many Paladins does it take to push a halfling down the temple steps?
>None, he fell.
>What do you tell the Elven serving wench with two black eyes?
>You won't tell her a third time.
>I was walking down the street with my darling wife in the human settlement of Proudmoore when we saw a dwarf being beaten most viciously by six men. My wife, shocked, turned to me and asked "Will you do anything?!" I turned to my beloved and said "Nay, simplewife, six is plenty!"
Dungeons and Dragons? More like Dumbcunts and Faggons, amirite?
>>47932084
what a shitty joke
hide armor already exists
Why are foreign Aboleths so hard to talk to?Because their name sounds a bit like Shibboleth, which is a term for a word that is hard for non-native speakers of a language to pronounce. If you have trouble with Shibboleth then Aboleth is likely to also be hard to say. :)
>>47932225
This is now an offensive joke thread!
>Did you hear about the Dwarf who was welcome in the local village?
>Nope!
>What do I feel during war with the Half-Orcs?
>Arrow fletching against my cheek.
>>47932301
It's supposed to be shitty
>>47932287
.....
>>47932084
lol at this joke
Female Paladins are like the Player's Handbook. lots of rules in the front, lots of magic in the back.
>>47932084
What do you call a human with a lust for kobolds?a dragon
What do you call a kobold with a lust for humans?a dragoff
>>47932623
>Female Paladins are like 3.5
>The popular ones have many splats
What do you call a sleeping Fae?
A Night Elf!
Why was the Halfling so insecure around his fellow Knights?
Because he Dwarfed in comparison!
What was the Headless Horseman such a poor driver?
He could only see dead ahead!
What do you call it when a Halfling dents another carriage?
A Kender-Bender!
Why didn't the Rogue go to Thailand?
He didn't like traps!
Why did the Rogue flirt with the evil mage?
He always picked 'Locks!
What do you call a suspicous black monk who you shouldn't mess with?
A Mistertea!
>>47932225
One of those would count as a pun, and only if you changed Paladin and Halfling around.
Q: A level 1 wizard, rogue and fighter had a foot race, who won?
A: The fighter, he was the only one with two feat.
>>47932909
Why do Rogues make good hairdressers?
They're good with locks.
Why do you hire a rogue if you want to track down an elf?
Because they have trap finding.
>>47932909
>What do you call a suspicous black monk who you shouldn't mess with?
>A Mistertea!
I pity the jester.
Why did the whore like to sleep with the paladin?
Cause he always cast protection!
>>47932225
>>47932440
What do you call one thousand Kender at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start
>>47935170
That's pointless. Paladins are immune to disease.
>>47935590
Pregnancy is not a diesase.
>>47935629
Yea but you can cure that.
>>47935758
Anon, they didn't have wire hangers back then.
>>47935590
>>47935629
It's not for the paladin's protection, y'know.
So do paladins give some gentle redemption in bed, or is it more of a hard smiting?
>>47936736
Think he is making a crack at both Ragnora and that fucked up thing from pathfinder who impregnates people and it can be cured with magic.
>>47936736Iron Heart Surge
>>47936777
You must undestand lad that when making love to a virtuous woman a paladin can be as gentle as a spring breeze and sweet as summer fruit, or as strong as the mountains and boundless as the sea. But when called upon to purge Evil, he has no choice but to strike with the fury of the gods, his dick must be as the hammer of their indignation, and with it he must utterly crush all resistance and inclination to wrongdoing.
