>it's a GM who treats the game like GTA and lets the players do whatever while nothing happens in the world because he has no consistent characters except for weapon merchants and a single quest giver
>it's a party that's more interested in making quips than progressing the narrative
>it's a GM who forgot to write his own campaign and just lifted characters from the latest episode of Game of Thrones
>it's a character that doesn't speak common and the player refuses to speak english and is terrible at determining what is an In-character and an Out-of-character question
>it's a GM who just makes the BBEG generic "evil" without motive or purpose
>It's a player in a superhero campaign who actively attempts to avoid being a "special snowflake" by trying to be an average joe
>it's a GM who doesn't understand history and creates some crazy world non-centralized nations are able to raise huge armies on a moments notice, while small wealthy kingdoms have no mercenaries available to hire in defense
>It's a player who thinks he's smart because he brings modern fireteam tactics to a pike and shot game
>it's a GM who puts traps on every single door and hallway, then complains when the players all get Boots of Spiderclimb and walk on ceilings
>it's a player who tries doing a shitty accent
>it's a GM who spends most of the game talking to himself because he has too many DMPCs
>It's a player with ten pages of unintelligible backstory
>It's a player playing a rebellious noble
>it's a communist in the 12th century
>the GM has been brewing an "epic story' for years in notes and scrawlings
>when the game is actually run, we shoot holes in the grand schemes and plots within seconds
>game falls apart in less than a session
I swear, I just wanted to play a gunslinger with a heart of gold. Why did your universe make so little sense?
>>47926086
>Me, DM: Hey, have you come up with a character idea for the game yet? The key themes of the game are this, that, and those, and here's the list of what's available.
>Player: no not yet
One Week Later
>Me: Hey so the game is starting soon, do you want me to help you come up with a character? I name off some character concepts that would work well with the game
>Player: nah it's cool I'll think of something
One Week Later
>Me: The game's starting in a few days, have you decided what you want to play?
>Player: no not yet
>Me: Do you... want some help?
>Player: nah it's okay
>Me: Do you even want to play in this game?
>Player: yeah dude you're a good DM I'm totally still interested
I am starting to believe that last line is a complete lie. Maybe I should hand him a premade character and tell him that this is what he's fucking playing, unless he can come up with something in the 15 minutes before the game starts.
>>47926086
>It's a player who thinks he's smart because he brings modern fireteam tactics to a pike and shot game
This.
The 95th Rifles only worked because they had line infantry to fall back behind.
>that player who gets tired of his character every few sessions and wants to make a new one
>that player who thinks his wikipedia-level knowledge of chemistry means he can have his 8 intelligence barbarian invent gunpowder
>>47926252
FUCK THAT GUY
>it's a strategy campaign based on total war
>the GM didn't warn the party and half of them made dickstabbing rogues, bards, and what have you
>GM can't decide if he wants to do fantasy or futuristic
>throws up his hands and runs steampunk instead
>that one player that brings down the entire mood of the game down/wants to cut it short because their depression/anxiety kicks in over stupid shit.
I mean, fuck, they're my friend and all and I'm there for them, but sometimes I just don't want to deal with that kind of shit. I wanna have a fun, upbeat game without worrying about a sudden text or phonecall or something ruining everyone's mood. Is that selfish to say?
>>47926218
He probably genuinely wants to join your game but is generally a disorganised fucking moron. He'll make a pretty tissue thin character but he'll have fun playing him anyway, and he probably has really low standards for your campaign to meet, which is nice.
Either that or he's a colossal cunt.
>>47926086
>it's a GM who just makes the BBEG generic "evil" without motive or purpose
>it's a faggot who uses "BBEG" and then wonders why it's retarded
>>47926086
>that player that makes a power level over 9000 munchkin with zero roleplaying ability then complains that the party hates him
>that player that makes an obviously contrarian character to the party then complains that the party hates him
>that GM who's idea of world-building is a constant reminder that "I'm the GM and I can kill you at a moments notice and am allowing you to have fun" then complains that people leave
>that GM that argues with a player over leaving his game for any reason
and finally
>that player/GM who views rpg's as a competition to win
there needs to be a cure for social autism
>it's a GM who answers any setting questions with 'it's a standard fantasy setting' and 'it doesn't matter'
>>47926349
>Is that selfish to say?
No, frankly people with depression and anxiety can be a colossal fucking drag. It doesn't seem to be popular to say now that apparently everyone has anxiety, but it's the truth.
>>47926349
At some point if they get triggered into depression by random stuff on a regular basis, they need professional help. Like yeah, a friend having a shit situation for a while deserves some slack, but when it becomes a regular thing I don't know what you can do for them.
>>47926442
>it's a GM who answers any setting questions with 'what do you think it should be?"
>>47926349
honestly, him bringing his depression/anxiety to the table is pretty selfish of him. Yes, if he has this problem, he needs friends to help him out, but if you know that it's not going to be fixed/curbed by playing games with them, you're just bringing the whole group down.
You know, misery loves company
>>47926519
oh FUCK THAT GUY
>>47926565
WITH A RUSTY CACTUS
WHY IS THERE RUST ON IT
DUNNO, WHY DO YOU THINK A CACTUS RUSTED JUST TIME TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WITH IT
>>47926086
For PbP:
>It's a newbie shitter who doesn't read the rules and generally acts like an ass
>It's a self-insert/edgy/fetish character so cringe-inducing it makes your face feel like folding in half
>It's a 'mature' game run by someone who doesn't match either of the meanings for the term
>It's a freeform game run by someone new to the site
>It's a game that goes nowhere because nobody posts
>It's a 'no grammar required' episode
>"It's like Game of Thrones, but-"
>It's a group where players passive-aggressively insult each other and the DM
>"It's in-character for me to be a dick all the time for no reason!"
>It's that argument where the player is looking for a one-time exception or bonus XP and blows the refusal out of proportion
>"It's okay for me to intimidate NPCs and browbeat them into doing what they want with Intimidate and Diplomacy checks, but they have no effect on me ;^)"
>It's an emoticon abuser (or someone who uses emoticons to express their character's emotions)
>players come up with horrible, half baked plan
>Give them chances, see if the rolls really want fate to help
>It dosnt. The stupid, unintelligible plan fails
>"I mean, I'm not mad GM, but if you wanted to railroad us you shouldn't ask us what we want to do".
Do these people believe I am some fucking motivation coach or something? Your plan was stupid S. It Was all kinds of dumb and the others probably followed along just so you would shut up.
>>47926821
you should have tied the fucker up and threw him on a railroad
>>47926281
>lel I just start randomly mixing saltpeter, charcoal, and sulfur together to see what happens
No. No you don't. Because your character is eaten by spiders.
>>47926549
Exactly, they're the mental illness equivalent of that absolute faggot of Nurgle that comes into work with the flu.
>>47926849
His plan was to hijack an entire galleon, fully crewed with sea vets, with a single, ONE, bottle of flammable liquor. He even knew it was a 8 day trip on sea to his destination, and he was going to "hold it and threaten to throw it below deck if they didnt sail for him.". For over a week, he was going to stay awake and threaten to light and throw a fire pot on a solidly built war ship.
They tackled him the moment he ran on bored and held it up threatening to light it. To which he said it made the happen to stop his good plan. Fuck players sometimes.
>>47926895
>Because your character is eaten by spiders.
You do know they're gonna use this as an opportunity to play the spiders, right?
>>47926821
>Your plan was stupid S. It Was all kinds of dumb and the others probably followed along just so you would shut up.
This is because what passes for a good plan in fantasy-imagination-land would be laughed out of a room in real life. Some DMs are just so happy their players are making any kind of plan that they'll let even the stupidest plan in the world succeed.
>>47926952
That's fine. The spiders can't make gunpowder without the appropriate craft skills either.
>>47926962
I was even going to leave it up to fate. His plan was >>47926945 and if he got the intimidate, or the sailors happen to be going their and bargained, or a distant relative happend to be a big shot on board.....But no, the dice werent having it, and neither was the crew.
>>47926821
I had a friendly 15 year experience DM tell me this:
>What you do when someone tries to do the incredibly improbable:
>Explain to them all of the modifiers against their rolls/spells cast, why they exist, and how many rolls they need to make/spells they need to cast.
>"If you fail, it's likely going to result in this outcome. Are you still sure you want to do this? Do you want to change your plan to account for anything?"
>If it fails, it fails - luck of the dice. If they can't handle that, let them bitch.
>If it works, congratulate them for beating the odds.
>>47926181
To be fair, plenty of Civs in the cradle of fucking civilization were proto-commie, but they all got BTFO by the Akkadians. Sargon's economic policy was much closer to laissez-faire, probably so his administration could focus on the propaganda machine and infinitely expanding his empire which Akkadian myths said had to keep happening or else the world would end.
>local game store only sells D&D and PF
>local game store only hosts D&D and PF
Why is our hobby dominated by two fucking games?
>>47927108
More like 2 editions of the same game. And it's basically first-movers advantage and the OGL.
>BBEG turns out to be a Big Nice Good Guy
>You questgiver is the BBEG
>>47926981
What if they were collectively an Alchemist?
>>47926741
>it makes your face feel like folding in half
I shall steal this
>it's the guy who sees fetishes everywhere
>and almost faps to them
>>47926086
>It's that guy who runs and hides from everything.
>And his cousin, who uses his best spells/abilities/whatever against the weakest enemies and then runs away to hide and rest until he can overkill some more
>And then they complain when you put them on even a loose time limit
>It's that GM who makes your characters search through a huge, rambling, poorly organized library to find the one tome with the vital info you need.
>It's the GM who gets your characters involuntarily addicted to dangerous drugs.
>It's the guy who smells like piss, shit, or vomit.
>It's the GM who doesn't describe things clearly and then looks at you like an idiot when you want elaboration.
>It's the guy who has a speech impediment, often to the point of being incomprehensible, and he wants to play the party face
>It's the guy who plays the same character over and over again, and if said character gets killed, his identical cousin shows up.
>It's the GM who thinks "Sandbox" means" I don't have to do any real work.
>It's the GM who thinks that "Sandbox"= "Generic".
>It's the GM who tailors quests to the one party member who actually created a background that interfaces with the setting, and the players who complain that they don't get personal sidequests.
>>47927647
lel
I know a guy who jokes that his superpower is the ability to spot dicks. Every time a map or a drawing comes out, no matter what it is, and no matter if it was made by someone in the part or from a television show, he'll point out the dick.
>watching one of the DC animations
>he calls a halt and demands the remote because he saw a cock on one of Batman's maps
>rewind
>it does vaguely resemble a cock and balls
It doesn't do it to build a false reputation either. He just spots dicks so often the rest of us started commenting on it.
>>47927108
Oh look, it's eternally triggered bitch-anon.
>>47927828
it is the bitching and moaning general
>>47927036
Much later, after the 12th century, but the Diggers during the English Civil War are anther example of a pre-Marx & Engels group that had proto-communist ideas.
>>47927108
Oligopoly is easy to establish in such a niche market.
If it helps, about 37% of games on Roll20 (out of 46,000) in Q1 2016 weren't D&D.
>>47927714
>It's the GM who tailors quests to the one party member who actually created a background that interfaces with the setting, and the players who complain that they don't get personal sidequests.
Only the players in this case deserve blame. The GM is fine.
>>47927828
>>47926610
Oh look, it's eternally triggered by eternally triggered bitch-anon.
You've replied to different people by the way. Hatred of Pathfinder is not exactly a unique trait.
>>47927936
I think he's just a twat trying to push a shitty new meme phrase.
>>47927958
I think it's just pointing out that if D&D triggers you to shitpost, you're going to be shitposting forever.
>>47926181
I assume you mean allusions to Marx and the USSR, like a paladin who fights for the common man with a hammer and sickle?
>get the urge to be creative
>start taking levels in artificer after finding a book on eberron and getting the okay from the GM
>2 levels in and the game ends next week
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME. I WOULD'VE STUCK WITH A MARTIAL CLASS. FUCK.
>>47926252
God damn I hate this so much. He's my favourite player at the table, too, but he just can't stop getting sick of his 2similiar characters.
>>47927994
But it's not a complaint about D&D, it's a complaint about market domination. When you go to a store and are given two options out of hundreds of games and that is the case almost everywhere it gets really frustrating. Pretty sure this guy's just a memeing twat.
>>47926519
>>47926565
>>47926673
This is a thing?
>>47928227
You are going to be bitching forever, bitch-anon.
>>47926252
Jesus, why does this have to happen?
>>47928260
I've never really seen it in D&D, but I guess some people do it. More often I see it in PbtA games (Apocalypse World, Dungeon World, etc.) where it's a thing the MC/GM is supposed to /occasionally/ do; turning questions back on the players. Especially if it's relevant to that character especially. Like if only one person in the party is playing an elf, and asks if the elves in this setting live in forests, the GM might say, "I don't know, do they?"
I personally really enjoy it, in moderation. It gives the players a chance to have some creative input, and gives a feeling that the whole table is responsible for the game world, not just the GM. It also ideally prevents people from just checking out and refusing to contribute creatively.
On the other hand, it can get annoying if it's done all the time; sometimes people might give answers that aren't quite... good; and if you do have the sort of players who just check out until it's time to roll dice and attack something, it'll cause friction.
>it's a player who thinks as the DM, you have to cater to him by making the campaign about his halfassed character
>it's the player who wants to "hack the dark net" with his low-intelligence homeless character
>it's the player who immediately shoots his intelligence up to the highest it can be with his level-ups, despite him saying at the beginning of the game that low intelligence was his character's weakness
>it's the player who wants to have ten-hour long conversations with every NPC, alone
>it's the player who makes the only optimized character, then complains when you say that it makes it tough to balance things out as a GM
>"I built my character well! Don't blame me for playing the game right!"
>I whisper all my spells
>>47928565
>Your whispers lack the force to complete spells.
>>47926821
If their characters should realize their plan won't work, just up and tell them. Simple.
>>47928614
>Guys this plan won't work because XYZ
>NUH UH, YOU HAVE TO LET US TRY IT OR ELSE YOU'RE RAILROADING
>>47928268
Just try and stop me.
>>47928607
I'm really criticizing this type of player, who tries all kinds of obvious, cheap and often mood-destroying actions, thinks they're incredibly clever and demands mechanical benefits for it, despite the fact that it never has any support in the actual rules.
Also
>I broke the game with my Mutans and Masterminds character and ruined it for everyone, aren't I clever?
I don't know what kind of retardation you have to suffer from to miss the big "it's easy to break this game, so don't" sign they have up there.
I had a chat with him in character about where he grew up. Then, to illustrate my point, I spent my next ten points on time travel and went back and killed him as a baby.
>>47928636
Nah. It's been a while, but there's a starting trait in Shadowrun called Common Sense, that makes it mandatory for the GM to tell you when something is a bad idea. It's more for new/inexperienced players more than anything else, but the principle still holds.
>something is telling you that it may not be wise to try intimidating men who may have fought off pirates before, at least without researching who the crew is and whether so brazen a plan will work or not
it's not just telling them no, it's giving them a way out that gives you additional ways to tell them no. It might take longer, but with this caliber of retards you may even be able to get them onto another topic that isn't hijacking a ship that takes at least a half dozen men to sail.
>>47928636
>low quality, all caps writing that attacks the players
Wow. I wonder why you have problems in your game that can be solved by a simple conversation.
>>47927036
Well, not all. China had one or two. Wang Mang is considered a traitor for usurping the Han empire and putting an end to the Western Han, but he promoted a system of:
-national ownership of land (as well as the redistribution of large farms)
-the abolition of private land ownership
-nationalization of six industries
-abolition of forced labor
-national price controls and interventionist economic policy through the purchasing of surplus goods
-a national income tax
-a tax on rich individuals unwilling to work.
It was the closest thing to modern socialism in an ancient civilization. It also failed terribly.
Hong Xiuqian's Taiping rebellion had some aspects of this, though it had a distinctly religious nature.
>>47926404
>criticizing slang
You have a lot of free time on your hands, don't you big man
>>47926252
>That GM that gets tired of his campaign in 3-4 sessions
>that gm is me
>''My character is a battle hardened warrior who has fought in many great wars and became champion of his kingdom''
>level 1
>party is just asked to clear out a small goblin cave, that's it
>>47926086
>it's a player who tries doing a shitty accent
What's the problem with this?
>>47929665
Divided XP is a bitch.
>>47930008
This is why all those militiamen and town guards rarely get past level 3.
>>47929665
>My character is a great warrior who has fought in a thousand battles
>But he's level 1 to model the fact that he's been terribly wounded over time and lost most of his abilities as a result
>>47926431
There is.It's called "bleach."
>>47926821
An example of a half-baked plan would be nice.
I've seen it go either way: where the GM didn't specify the nature of the situation and the plan is based on assumptions on that nature that are incorrect, making it a good plan executed in the wrong situation, or just a really harebrained scheme that shouldn't work even if all goes well.
>>47926086
>It's a player in a superhero campaign who actively attempts to avoid being a "special snowflake" by trying to be an average joe
that seems more jarring than it should
>>47926086
>it's a player who tries doing a shitty accent
what if the accent is good and is funny?
>its a guy that tries to play evil in a good aligned party
>the players don't ask anything about the setting or ask questions about the hidden motivations and shit
man, sucks to be an aspiring writer
all in all, they are pretty great guys, and that isn't really a complaint, but sometimes I'm left with "come on man, aren't you going to ask the motivation of the guy who has just helped you? maybe he is hiding some mysterious shit that will backfire on you! uuuuh!"
>its a newbie girl trying to hog attention all the time
>>47929987
Not OP, but just off the top of my head
>white guy trying to be a black guy
>using the common chinaman accent
>the mario brothers italian accent
etc.
The keyword is shitty. I've played a french chef and an irish family man and tavern owner before, and I got positive praise for it. When I did the irish, there was no "ayy be a wee laddy from Dublin", nor any "honhon baguette du fromage" from the french. But people do that, and it's more obnoxious than anything else, especially when they try doing it for hours on end.
>>47927022
what if its a shitty plan with surprisingly good odds?
If it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid
>>47928068
source of the pic?
>>47926206
Hear hear.
Had one our players give DMing a shot a while back. We ran aFinal Fantasygame, and while the setting was premade, it being his chief inspiration should have set off some red flags.
>Players start apart and are forced together for arbitrary reasons
Just slap us together and send us off to the races, we can deal with some direction if it doesn't force us for TOO long.
>NPCs are flat and borderline incompetent
No military/government/cult/mercenary is so daft that four random fuckers can save the world in your stead.
>DMPCs
Why was that paladin guy leading us? So that you could repeatedly corral us to follow the story instead of motivating us to care about it?
>Mysterious "trickster" villain wanders through to give cryptic warnings about their deeds
>Villain eats shitloads of damage and says "Is that the best you've got"
Stop. Your campaign is not a scripted cutscene or a bad anime. Forcing us to buy into this doesn't excite us.
>Combats are almost entirely damage-sponge bosses who deal no damage
The fact that this happened more than once was puzzling. Was it not obvious the first time when we were so critical of how boring and easy the combats were? Partly a fault of the system, but sheesh.
>Plot asks us to collect MacGuffins before something evil beats us to it
>Bosses are based on seven deadly sins
If you're going to be stock, at least have some fun with it. If you just go through the motions that apathy extends to the players. Would YOU want to play in something you made if it's this dull?
We eventually let him have another shot in a different system, with an "original" setting based on Final Fantasy and his old 4e notes. Most of these mistakes were repeated, and a lack of verisimilitude in the setting really killed it for us. He's wanted to run stuff for a while now, but these growing pains can get exhausting.
>>47931280
>giant elephant (20m) charging
>"I climb on top of it!"
>Because a mixture of buffs it works
>Manages to defeat the enemies on top of the elephant
>Didn't plan what to do afterwards
I don't know, still seems stupidI was the one who did that
>>47926086
>its a player who shits on anything and everything his friends do despite the fact that literally nobody else play with him.
Here's your (you) sweetie.
>>47931395
The foes riding the elephant are more dangerous than the elephant.
>>47928268
>forcing that gay non-meme so hard that even people who like DnD are starting to hate you
Yep, it's happening kid.
>>47931475
actually they weren't
few filthy untrained soldiers too busy launching arrows to notice me going stealthy and an unarmed one riding the animal when I was a level 5 (D&D5)
The elephant destroyed the city, but we had our laughs and the elephant ultimately fell, which was a huge blow to the enemy's army and the damage wasn't as big as if it had been manned
>>47931438
Out of curiosity, which item on OP's list is it that you're failing to defend here? It's obvious you're rump-sore about at least one of them being criticized.
>>47931344
And just because I'm not done bitching,
>Players who won't compromise on their "vision" at the expense of others
I get it. You want to make your character your own, and there's nothing wrong with that--but TTRPGs are a group experience. When you make characters who suck at the combat-simulator elements, you're gonna be a drag once dice hit the table.
That can be fine, though, if you're shooting for a skillmonkey or a social butterfly--or at least a character we'd want to roleplay with. It's certainly a big part of the appeal. But when you make your characters (or PLAY them as) antisocial Loney McWolf douchebags, you're gonna be a drag for the social element of the game as well.
>5e
>DM's setting is basically Celtic Earthdawn
>Wants to make a character who hates magic
>Makes a Gnome Ranger
>Not a self-hating type, or a judicious resource-user
>Just a Gnome Ranger
So your "vision" of a stunty guy with a bow who hates magic is also a magically-inclined race using a class with spell levels...? And then using neither as part of the character? A Halfling Fighter would have covered all the bases. But no, you wouldn't compromise even a little with yourself and played the useless load who didn't interact with anybody. You got bored and THIS >>47926252 happened. Big fucking surprise.He also used a stock name, a pet peeve of mine. You spent all this time on this vision and didn't try making a name?
Then you made someone better in combat. Not hard to do, but you're trying.
>Makes Dwarf Paladin/Barbarian
>Interesting traits: oldfag, only uses his sword on undead/demons. Can't afford good armour and bemoans this
>But his sidearm is a quarterstaff, no Fighting Style/Feats to support it
>No armour/shield, just a robe
You've made a character who doesn't interact with others, goes Leeroy Jenkins and gets zonked in every session. It's not fun for us when you don't interact, wait for initiative, and then suck at the one thing you apparently intended.
>The rogue that tries to steal from the party/loot everything before the party and hides it
>Not even some grand hilarious plan that leaves them safe, just trying to pick pocket a fucking party member
>For a common dagger
>From the combat monster that could overkill her with ease
She then called me in game a racist when my character joked that she, some crow person race, was attracted to the shiny.
>>47926181
> it's a player who invents guns even though his character would have no concept of such a thing
>>47930789
read the comments on that post. He does detail it. >>47926945
>>47930944
how so?
>>47930971
Ever watched Critical Role? That should tell you everything.
>>47931927
>read the comments on that post
Yes, I did, and I fully agree it was the player's fault. Would have been better if they played it as a tense stalemate if they were going to do that, taking shifts and trying to outlast the sailors.
Otherwise, it's a stupid plan and failed in the most obvious way it could.
>>47931733
I mean, pickpocketing from the party constantly gets old and stupid, but calling you out on racism actually seems like it could be funny in perhaps a more positive context. I mean, she's not wrong, but at the same time she's not doing much to help that image, instead actively perpetuating it.
>>47931733
God this shit pisses me off to no end. I don't understand why people feel a need to be such pissants and try to rob the people who they're working with.
>>47931991
Oh no the racism call out was pretty funny, especially when the rest of the party just sorta looked and said "you aren't helping your case".
>>47931646
cont.
And of COURSE he didn't learn from these mistakes when we made characters for Curse of Strahd.
>Makes a Sorceror
>A "support" Sorceror
>Barely aids party members
>Mostly tries Sleep or fleeing
But the 'cowardly wizard' concept is old as time. No harm in making a spaghetti elemental.
But was making this guywho once again uses a stock namea Machiavellian cunt REALLY what you were after? When you can't do the Sorceror's M.O., won't "support" anybody, and generally make yourself scarce, you'd best believe your character is friendly/useful/knowledgeable, or a meal ticket or somesuch. Otherwise you're going to have a hard time convincing anybody to play with you, both with your character and you as a player.You know the Death House angle for CoS? The "one must die" bit? This supposed 'schemer' has all the grace of a Horc Barbarian. Instead of using Message or something to determine a course of action discreetly (or even clear the possibility with them), he just tries to mind control someone to attack and kill someone else--with the other three party members in eye and earshot. And gets smug about it when they ask him what in the blue hell he thought that was going to accomplish.There's no use for you in a combat encounter, and you've successfully burned every bridge in the party in a matter of seconds. Congratulations.
I fear it's only a matter of time before THIS >>47926252 happens again. Hopefully he can salvage the character's RP potential before he grows bored of his apparently-disposable "vision".
>>47926086
>it's a player who tries doing a shitty accent
Hey now, there's nothing wrong with trying to speak in your character's voice.
Unless your character is Italian and you're just talking like Mario.
>Some idiot fag telling new players that Magic Missile can hit anyone at infinite range and has no defences
>Tell him that it has a range, you have to see the target and is stopped by SR, as well as spells that specifically hose it
>He doesn't even listen, won't even look when I open the book the the Magic Missile page
-
>Party fights a vampire spawn, some fag looks up vampire in the MM right at the table and tells me it's not level appropriate
>Like he actually grabs my MM and looks at the stats right there
>Tell him it's a vampire spawn not a vampire and it is level appropriate and not to look up monster stats in the middle of a fucking fight.
>Now he hates me for some reason.
-
>Rogue makes a Handle Animal check, seems suspiciously high, I ask to look at his sheet
>Full ranks in Handle Animal
>Tell the player to look up if rogues have that as a class skill
>He doesn't, just says, "I'm a rogue"
>"Rogues don't have every skill, just look it up for me"
>"I'm a rogue"
>Fuck this guy, look it up myself and show him that he's wrong
>"But I'm a rogue"
>Have to miss one session because personal stuff
>Rest of party does something retarded and gets TPK'd
>DM calls off the whole campaign.
>>47926086
>GM had too much fun with his NPCs, actively nerfs PCs so they are always below the NPC
>>47931646
To be fair, Halfling Fighter isn't entirely terrible. I made a Halfling Fighter for a game of 5e and shes not too shabby. Archer fighting style, light crossbow, champion. She hits often, crits often, and hits hard. At range because fuck melee as a Halfling.
>>47933399
Well yeah, but my beef is that he DIDN'T make that, despite his character's race/class/personality/setting combo being at complete odds with itself and what the DM established. Had he rolled a Halfling Fighter he'd have lost nothing and gained a shitload.
>>47933399
>not constantly taking called shots at your enemies' ankles with your Medium greataxe
git gud
>>47933656
Small characters can't wield Large weapons and a greataxe is a Large weapon, IIRC.I remember this because I wanted to give her a Heavy Crossbow and make her fem!Varric Tethras dammit.
>>47933684
And a greataxe sized for Small characters is a Medium greataxe. The damage changes when the size category does.
>>47932990
>Have to go to the bathroom mid-session
>Come back five minutes later
>"Your character died while you were gone"
>DM expects me to just sit and wait in a corner for the rest of the session
>>47931395
Legolas?
>>47926086
>>It's a player who thinks he's smart because he brings modern fireteam tactics to a pike and shot game
i am so guilty of this and using really bullshit ranger tactics to gimp the GM's ability to do good ambushes. this game made me into the worst player ever.
>It's a player who spends the entire campaign making fun of everything in the setting, the events of the campaign, and what NPCs say
>makes a weird characters that aren't particularly good at anything because of their weirdness
>few sessions later wants to drop out
>makes a fairly standard race+class combo and plays them like they always play characters
>wants to play a different race+class combo two sessions in tops
>clearly enjoys worldbuilding and GMing
>but runs out of steam quickly
>only plays jokey one note characters who excessively flirt in barely contained closet homo-lust
>actually pretty great sandbox GM
>actually pretty busy now living a real life, haven't heard from him in months actually
But hey, we're all internet friends in compatible timezones. What can you do?
>>47926741
>"It's okay for me to intimidate NPCs and browbeat them into doing what they want with Intimidate and Diplomacy checks, but they have no effect on me ;^)"
This is why I hate charisma skills.
>>47926086
Such an accurate thread title.
>>47934290
>tfw a guy in our party is ex-military
>also ex-engineer
>also a scientist
>also military historian
People like you two are the reason we can never play Dark Heresy!
>>47928479
>"I built my character well! Don't blame me for playing the game right!"
That's a difficult thing to respond to, because he's kind of right. Ideally everyone is building optimized characters, but some people aren't capable of it (or can't be assed to do it), and others seem allergic to it for some reason or another.
Like, the two ways to fix that are either to have him tone his character down (which, unless he's going full-on game breaking rules-text-exploiting Pun-Pun levels of bullshit--which the GM should be shutting down anyway--is kind of a shitty thing for a player to have to do), or have the rest of the party Git Gud. In most cases I'd probably go for the latter over the former. I'm fortunate enough to have a couple of optimizers in my group that aren't afraid to help the other guys build characters. If that guy was in my group, I'd probably ask him to do the same.
I'm much more likely to blame big gaps in party power-level on the system than the players anyway. Some systems are notorious for that kind of thing.
>>47926086
>don't worry annon, The game is a month away. I'll have my character ready by then
>Don't worry anon, the game is next week. I've got time
>Don't worry anon, the game is tomorrow. I've got all night to come up with a character
>It's the first sitting, time to bust this guy out.
>my character does a line of coke and punch another PC in the face
>my character is fisty mc'coke irish accent
>Every scene I shout "FUCK BONO" at the top of my lungs
>This is my room mate
>:(
>>47933890
>"Your character died while you were gone"
>DM expects me to just sit and wait in a corner for the rest of the session
>MFW
>>47935092
If I can throw my two cents in, the whole party shouldn't be optimized, they should just be optimized *equally.*
It really feels terrible on both sides to ask that a character be powered down; if the other players can't optimize, you should see if the optimizer is willing/able to help the other players,
>>47928731
There's a guy in my Pathfinder group playing a Cavalier, and he tried to get away with "sneakily" using the Challenge class ability on people so he could get the attack bonus without alerting the bad guys about it.
Technically, he's actually right. There's nowhere in the text where it explicitly says you have to do anything in particular to challenge someone, other than use a Swift Action for it. There's not even an explicit requirement that they be aware they've been challenged.
We made him pantomime how he was silently challenging this guy, and he did some kind of drag-your-thumb-across-your-neck move with his hand and pointed.
We actually allowed it, because the bad guy was looking at him (even if the rest of the guys weren't), and it was kind of a cool move. But he's had to shout out his challenges from then on. He's been a good sport about it.
>>47926442
I don't know if this puts me into that category but 95% of my answers to my players questions is "You should ask someone in game".
Context: It's Mage: The Awakening and we're starting from everyday joes.
My players make wild assumptions about how magic and shit works and they never do the one nugget of advice I give them.
>>47935208
I can agree with that. "Optimized" can be kind of a fuzzy term to begin with anyway, and as long as everybody's roughly equally capable it usually works out.
>It's a player whose character enters with a shitty monologue to the party
The only good thing about it was how the warrior noble and my paladin oathbreaker shit on him afterwards for being a god damn drama queen and random pompous asshole as far as we knew
>>47936082
What if the "shitty monologue" was part of his character?
It's like getting mad at a low Wis character that decides he has poor memory.
>>47926295
Run black ops missions?
>>47930061
There ya go.
>>47936658
No. Only battlefield combat ever.
>dude just become a sapper or engineer
>whaddaya mean the ranger does this far better than you ever will? Just stat into Wisdom
>>47934290
>>47934976
I'm gonna be honest here, one of the reasons I stick to fantasy is because I expect to be greatly irked when a civvie runs a game where tactics related to anything approaching modern firearms or small unit tactics are present.
>>47930061
>>47929665
Also energy drain. DnD vampires and other spoopys drain levels and make it hard to recover
>PCs in a besieged city that was also suffering a plague that spread through food recently
>menition that food is extremally hard to come by at that point like 20 times
>one of them gets some food from a shady guy for a suspiciously easy task
>wtf dude why is my character sick
>>47926086
Currently going through this with a friend of mine GMing Pathfinder
>inb4 don't play 3.PF
Nigga I tried to convince him otherwise, but he had the largest boner for it because another friend of mine brainwashed him
Campaign begins with all of us being tied up together in a basement, after mystically falling asleep in an inn room
(to which had several bullshit problems to it, but for the purposes of starting the game, I let it slide)
All of us introduce our characters whilst the people who kidnapped us are trying to open a door, they spot us
Apparently,one of the kidnappers is some hulked out guy who is on NotBaneJuice! who had a strength modifier of +6 (apparently being the semi-interesting crux of the campaign)
Keep in mind, we're first level,so one solid hit from this = new chargen
Only reason we lived is 'cause the summoner put vipers that distracted him until we did the DND usual of gangfucking him in a corner (guy miraculously kept rolling low for to hit, dude had a greatsword as well)
We beat him, and escape, only to be forced together by virtue of coincidence, since our characters didn't bond enough to where we would organically decide to bunch up. "Muh player glow" and all that jazz.
I'll skip ahead to much later on, where we find the BBEG to be NotSephiroth who teleports in and quickens an anti-magic field area to kidnap his brother for vague generic evil cult purposes.
The entire fight boiled down to the DM playing action figures with himself with these two brothers fighting each other (both of which were level 20 characters, so we stood on the sidelines like fucking Yamcha from DBZ)
Sometime later, I DM a session of 5e where he complains that the casters are too underpowered, and it should be like PF where they get bonus spells
>mfw he thinks PF is the epitome of balance
>>47930061
I more or less did this with a player wanting to be a war general, but his age reducing his abilities so that he would be as potent as a level one character
>>47937488
Got any good resources for learning it properly? Books or manuals? Maybe just a classified manual or something, maybe it'll be on wikileaks
>>47926086
>Huh? It's my turn? Uhhhhh....what do my spells do again?
>>47938498
I'm chaotic neutral, it's just what my character would do.
>>47935092
My problem with that is I've never had luck with that. I usually run into being so bad at character building that I get told to scrap the entire thing, and then just handed a premade or a very strict set of guidelines that is something I was trying to avoid, but they think I actually want, and then trying to say I want otherwise makes it into an argument which just leads to a premade. And then I end up getting booted out soon if I don't leave, because fuck premades.
And also shit like "look just play a rogue, nobody is asking you to be dickass mcthief" followed by "Lets get our thief here to steal the key from the guard".
>>47938550
>inb4 I feel like i just got hardbaited
How terrible at creating characters do you have to be for your friends to consistently feel the need to hand one to you so they don't have to deal with watching you go through the abomination that is your creative process
>>47938505
>I'm chaotic neutral
>I forgot all my spells from wizard academy, so I'll just take this axe and pretend I'm a barbarian for a while
>>47938657
My friends are the ones who put up with me, but then we run into the second problem where every character I make is flandarized almost immediately, up to the point of becoming nothing but an autistic savant based on some background detail. Usually I end up being comedic relief and an incredibly minor source of damage in combat. Our most recent game I'm starting to shape up character wise, but I think that's more how limited the system we're using is more than it is me. Especially since I took their suggestions instead of making what I wanted to make, which was an option that I would have never used because "muh well rounded-ness".
The premades are from my limited experience with other games. One group wasn't diligent the first time and I died within three minutes since it was a dungeon crawl and there was a combat encounter to start us off with, and I died after taking one turn. After that I was never allowed to play with them again because I never got the GM's approval on my builds (or in one case, character motivation).
>>47938550
>fuck premades
In my experience, premades can actually be a good thing when either dealing with really new players and you have a large enough variety of choices where at least one is interesting. Or if the usual game can't happen because something happened to the GM and we get news that he can't run next time, so I offer to run a one-shot so we have something to do on gameday tomorrow.
Either way, when premade characters are an option, I try to have at least 6 of them that aren't similar.
>>47938768
At this point bro, I think the problem might be you. Lower your damn standards and be a team dude.
>>47938768
Anon, why don´t you throw together a quick character and post it here for us?
We´ll tell you if you´re doing well and they´re being dipshits or if you´re just bad at making a character, and then we can tell you where you need to improve or what you´re missing.
>>47939068
>>47939061
The problem IS me because I'm an autistic cunt who wants to make their OWN character, and then goes mechanics guided by fluff instead of the other way around.
>>47939150
Small sized fighter with a rapier. Suboptimal strength/con in favor of charisma and dex.
That's all you need to know.
>>47929665
Sounds like someone should play Exalted.
>>47926456
There is nothing more self-centred and egotistical than a depressed person, and I'm saying this as a statement of fact on the symptoms of the affliction, not a judgement on them as people. As much as I love my friends who suffer from clinical depressions, if they refuse professional treatment, there is only so much support I can be bothered to give them anymore.
>>47939286
As a depressed person, I can confirm.
Although I might just be an attention whore who is also depressed.
>>47939312
That would add to the problem, yes.
Now, if you were an addict on top of that, we'd be getting into some real dark waters.
>>47939347
Luckily my drug is just my imagination.
If only there was a way to murder my imagination, then I could finally be a happy man.
>>47939184
Then either you´re only telling us half of the story or your group is more gamey and they just don´t like that you sacrifice efficiency for fluff.
>>47939375
Like I said before, it's not the group I have that rejects me, its any other group I try to join. I could very well just have bad luck.
The group I do have is fine about me being ineffective in combat. Then again we're also the kind of group that just says "naw he isn't dead". Even if that's invoked twice. In one combat. They have noticed however that every character I ever makes always ends up autistic about something and it becomes the only notable thing about them. So I also suck in the fluff department.
Basically the fix is super simple: Just stop playing and stop trying to play. But I also want to so I'm trying to make the best of it.
>>47939286
Dunno. I had a massive depression and the only thing that kept me from killing myself was that I could help a friend get out of the massive shit her life was.
I even had everything planned and ready for the day where I couldn´t help her anymore.
I also put quite some effort into hiding it form everyone. Only that friend and another one knew about it all, and still mostly I behaved nicely.
It´s a very complicated and wide thing. It´s really hard to function daily when you barely feel anything at all, and most of the time you feel something it´s a strong grip in the chest and a strong feeling that you should kill yourself. It doesn´t even have to involve feeling worthless or anything like that. I never felt worthless, or pointless, or whatever. I just didnt´feel like living anymore.
I got out of it, but then again I´ve always been unnaturally rational and I was able to "separate" myself from it all and just move on by thinking that it might pass someday and I just had to find out how. But then again I was already wondering about morals and the purpose of life when I was 6. Most people aren´t that interested in introspection and have a much harder time understanding how it affects them, which is what translates into that self-centered attitude you say. It´s not that they don´t care about anything else, it´s that they don´t really *feel* that they care about mostly anything, and much less about themselves. They´re just try to understand why and what´s inside, and how it works, and how to get out, but it´s VERY damn hard. They´re trying not to become an automaton and/or not to kill themselves, and to keep some contact with their healthy self and their life.
Professional treatment has a very big stigma, or at least it sounds like something for people who are completely crazy. Maybe suggest accompanying them to it or something.
It´s hard to feel like even your survival instinct is broken. Just show that you care. They need it.
>>47931395
Thats not that stupid. Legolas (from Lord of the Rings) does it in the movies.
>>47939415
The fix is to just fucking broaden your goddamned horizons a little you wuss
Try constructing a character differently for once. Maybe play a different system with less disconnect between fluff and mechanics
>>47939286
Having had major depressive disorder for several years, I cannot help but look down upon people with depression who still insist on afflicting others with their existence in what is supposed to be time for relaxation and recreation.
Depression is rough as fuck but it doesn't impair with your sense of rationality at all. If you won't have fun, don't fucking drag down others, you have literally no reason to.
People with minor depressive disorder are just wimps though
>>47929537
I know that feel
>"Guys, i don't power game, i just like extremely efficient characters with a simple backstory that i can build upon"
>Build take straight from an online guide for powergamers and backstory is summed up with a single sentence: I found a flyer for adventurers and then became one.
>>47926349
Maybe it's selfish, but this is about a pastime: if he's not having fun and he's stopping everyone else from having fun too, it's time to end it. There's no reason to keep up a pastime that's not giving you fun.
>>47933890
>Few years ago, join a forum game.
>One rule is a minimum post requirement to avoid being kicked, which is good, keeps the game moving.
>Except it really doesn't.
>Game has multiple thread, each taking place at a different place / time.
>Players are encouraged to post in multiple threads. So instead of one fast moving scene at a time, it's a dozen slow as balls scenes simultaneously, like playing in a dozen different play by post games at once, but with shared characters.
>Status quo reigns supreme, since a character can't die if they're alive in a future scene, right?
>No sense of continuity, either.
>Example: One thread involves breaking into a mansion. Another takes place after it. But both threads are running simultaneously.
>You can't talk about your success / failure at the mansion in the future thread, because you don't know if you succeeded or failed yet.
I dropped out of that game in a damn hurry.
>>47930686
I'm frankly frightened how accurate that is. You have no right to be this accurate. It started with so much promise, why did it have to get so bad?
>It's been years since Blatant Fetish Quest stopped after an insanely high quality session every single day for months
>Still haven't gotten over it
>Please come back !FemCOCK, I loved your story so much and came to love the characters in it
>Max Power will always be the best Futa Muscle Wizard in the whole world
FUCK I MISS IT!
Off to reread the threads once more.
>>47940353
For those interested in one of the greatest Quests to have ever existed I am providing a link.
THIS QUEST WAS SO GOOD IT WAS FILLED WITH EXPLICIT SMUT AND THE MODS STILL ALLOWED IT EVERY SINGLE DAY!
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Blatant%20Fetish%20Quest
>>47935274
>I don't know if this puts me into that category but 95% of my answers to my players questions is "You should ask someone in game".
Subtle difference, but it changes thing radically.
Instead of you, the GM telling them how it works, it's your NPCs. Their understanding might be flawed somehow, such as not being familiar with a particular phenomenon.
>GM describes room/village
>2-3 people draw it out in their notebooks
>all people have the same drawing
>GM's vision is completely different
>players are in the wrong
And
>GM completely rips scenarios from Dragon Age Origins
>it's the player who percieves any good roll against him as a personal attack, sulks when the enemy continues defending himself even after surrendering.
>it's the player who's utterly confused by the prisoner they're interrogating being too terrified to talk.
>it's the player who tries to use his own internet handle as his character name.With an apostrophe.
>it's the player who responds to "that ability seems very powerful. I'm pretty sure it takes your whole turn" with "why do you hate me" instead of pointing out the DM's wrong.
Although, it is their first time playing together. The only one who's played before is the most obnoxious of the bunch, I swear.
>>47940801
>GM described room with rough detail, noting features, lighting, smell, etc
>players start asking about specific details like dimensions of room
>GM says "why do you care?", notes that getting precise details would take some measurements and the players would have to take the time to do it. Still, GM provides estimates based on characters' backgrounds (the dwarf estimates the size of the stonework better, etc)
>players still complain they want to know exactly how high the fucking ceiling is
>>47926252
My problem is not that I get bored of my characters but that I have char-gen-itis. I get ideas and keep wanting to make them.
>>47928565
...I am currently running a mage-type who took a vow of silence. Large portions of all available spells are locked out for me. I'm still effective, because magic missile is the tits.DtD, not DnD.
>>47932800
>>47934682
>>makes a weird characters that aren't particularly good at anything because of their weirdness
>>few sessions later wants to drop out
I did this. But I redeemed.
>>47941821
I know calling people autistic is a meme but I would really like to know if anyone has any good resources that I could use to better communicate with people who have mild to moderate autism.
I'm seriously asking.
bitchmp
woomp
>>47939415
>Basically the fix is super simple: Just stop playing and stop trying to play
No, the fix is to stop trying too hard. You could always do what I do.
First, you need to figure out who you want to be. That's the easy part. After that, kick back and smoke a bowl or do whatever your preferred relaxation method is, and just let your mind wander. You ARE Hero McAdventurer. So, who are you? Where have you been? What have you seen? Who and what do you know? Take a deep, serious trip into imaginationland, so deep that you can't remember who the real you is until you open your eyes again.
Once you do open your eyes again, write down what you remember and figure out the numbers for it, if any are necessary.
>>47939450
Some people won't understand you, and the new breed on 4chan is going to say shit like "autist" and whatnot, but I get it, anon.
>>47926086
>Player Character is a carbon coby of one played in a completely different campaign
>Party members constantly try to break into buildings for no reason
>Pc's never save money and buy tons of pointless crap
>Pc doesn't want to join the party.
My next campaign wasn't open to anyone joining.
>>47944182
I take a deep trips into imagination land all the time.
But what happens is after one or two sessions my character is already just "It's an autistic savant obsessed about [insert thing here]", be it a hobby, a quirk, a flaw and/or a day job.
>TFW you've been forever GM so long that you can't enjoy a session where someone else runs a game
>New GM takes the wheel and I can't help but to judge his every action and resist the urge to give him my advice every 15 seconds in game.
>>47931245
Then it's not a shitty plan
>>47933890
That is some fuck shit
>>47944864
Autistic savants can still be interesting. Go watch Rain Man, fuck, I dunno.
>>47944901
>you're a forever GM and you get a chance to play a game
>the new guy GMing is terrible
>he's fucking up so much he must be actively trying
>you talk to the group after
>they agree it's terrible but they don't want to break his spirit
>you talk to the GM about how he's being a huge dick and is actually sort of anxiety-inducing because he's such a stressful, intense person
>he says he won't do all the shit he's been doing, continues to do it anyway
>gets mad at the party for being avoidant and not wanting to play
Some people just don't get it.
>Spend all week working on the campaign.
>Carefully balance encounters, prep the map, pre-roll initiative, get all my post-encounter notes sorted.
>Show up early, ready to go.
>Ten minutes before the game, half the group says they can't make it.
>This keeps happening, to the point I wonder if they want to quit.
>Everyone says they love the campaign, it's great, they want to play, etc.
>But they keep bailing at the last minute.
The most forewarning I've ever got was a player telling me a day in advance. Which was a welcome change from just not showing up, at least.
I just want to DM, damn it. It's not like anyone else will, either!
>>47937488
Source?
>>47945093
The problem is it keeps happening.
I make one kind of character and I need to make something else, but my attempts have thus far failed.
>>47926206
YOUR
THAT
GUY
That guy who play an alchemist mixing anything until something happengetting my skin eaten by acid, burning my hair, throwing a flask on a monster, with the smell of a bag of rotten eggs as the only result, skeletons growing chest hair,a water elemental inhibited with a lust potion, and many moreAt least i knew how to cook.
>>47926086
>it's a character that doesn't speak common and the player refuses to speak english and is terrible at determining what is an In-character and an Out-of-character question
I have one of those in my 5e game. I'm thinking about taking the spell tongues just to make him knock that shit off.
Plus, he always tries to resort to starting PvP
>>47926086
>>47947437
How do you not know Common? And why, beyond special snowflake?
>>47947570
He thought it would be funny to communicate by grunting.
It's really not. The DM is clearly tired of having NPC's act confused and ask more questions to just get simple stuff done because of him.
>My character always stands in the back silently
>My character never states opinions on goddamned anything
>I'm a deep loner guis
Grow a goddamned spine and learn to act like a human being, for fuck's sake.
If you're going to act like you're not there until combat starts, then PREPARE TO BE IGNORED, NERD.
This without fail is the most anger-inducing thing I regularly come across as a DM.
>>47946970
what's this about his that guy?
>>47947570
not those guys but my character is an underdark native, DM and i agree that "common" would be replaced with "undercommon"
Luckily I also speak elven, which a majority of the party speak.
>>47930061
Now I wanna make a retired fighter who wants back in the heroing scene after a cushy retirement. Maybe so I don't have to explain why he forgot fighting moves, I could even say he now wants to try his hand at X other class, like wizardry. Mite b cool.
As forever GM, I have a few things I've come to hate over the years.
>Asking specific details about something that is irrelevant to the game. Such as a character's eye color, how long their nails are, or any other number of absolutely brain-dead questions.
>Pre-rolling attack AND damage before your turn.
>Players who will end sessions if their dice rolls are bad.
>Party games where everyone dumps the charisma stat.
>When players set out to kill other players for the sole purpose of something stupid. (I have many stories of this one, if you want one I can provide.)
>Players who use the same last name across multiple characters, but the characters are in no way related.
>Reusing the same character name (first and last) ever.
>Mini-maxing in GURPs (Getting a bunch of disadvantages socially since the character plans to do combat, or something similar.)
>Characters who are not their chosen alignment, or act out of character for the sole purpose of antagonizing other players.
>Any sort of complaining if a character dies. Seriously, 95% of the time, it was something stupid.
>Players who ignore the plot, or attempt to intentionally make the plot fail without good IC reason.
>Anyone who attempts to break a system for the sole purpose of 'being stronk'.
>Boring combat. Seriously, 'I use magic missile' four times in a row bores ME to death. At least add some flavor to it.
I've got more, but I don't want to bitch too much. My players browse /tg/ too.
>>47946970
you're*
And no, he's not.
First, "that guy" is someone who stands out from the rest of the group and ruins everyone else's fun. It sounds like this was the group pointing out holes in the DM's plot.
Second, it sounds like the entire group considered these plot holes to be huge and obvious, so it's likely that the DM just didn't think things through.
Technically it could be that the group was overly critical of a fairly decent plot and anon just told his story that way because why would he paint himself in a bad light, but even in that case it's "that group," not "that guy."
What DMs in that sort of situation should do is take some time after the session (or cut the session short if it's super terribad) to rethink things and, depending on the particulars, possibly ask the players to not take things so seriously (as in, switch to something closer to a "we fight the bad guys because we're the good guys" mindset) if that's what it takes to get the plot to work. If the players aren't interested in that, then someone should DM something with a different plot.
>>47926218
Most of my old group was like that. It's basically just that they procrastinate constantly, had serious trouble narrowing things down to a single character idea, and they tended to want to discuss things with each other about their characters anyway, so we just made characters (and usually leveled up) session 0 / at the beginning of sessions.
I was kind of the oddity in that group in that I got about as much fun from thinking about what my character might be able to do if I built them some particular was as I did from actually playing the game, so I tended to have exhaustive lists of all relevant combinations of things that I might want to pick up at some point and what sorts of situations those things wound be good for and so on. Then again, I was usually the DM.
>it's the DM that never needed to be the DM even though GF with better experience in tabletops then anyone else in the group
>it's the DM that always insists in playing DM even though almost even though hes crap at it
>it's the DM who's plot has 20 side shit happening (e.g. has to find out about some dark cult bullshit while dealing with a lycanthrope infestation and a random I think elf burning down random villages with blue fire for NO REASON)
>it's the DM that chastises players for doing something that didn't need to be done(e.g. checking for a way into a cultist lair when he says the "you never check if the door is locked?" and find out the door is actually fucking locked!)
>it's the player that suddenly now needs to kill off a random player every campaign because "bounty hunter" character and when confronted ooc about this he says "why not?"
it's the player that tries to get gf's monk character addicted to drugs for no damn reason
>its the gm that has to put some pseudo-japanese bullshit or kitsune in EVERY SETTING
its the DMPC that never gets attacked fucking once and has a spell that can nearly one-shot everything
>it's the GM that starts group at level 1 but throws them against hard shit like a fuckton of cultists over and over again
>it's the GM that actively tries to get one character to be bitten by a lycanthrope during the whole arc
>it's the GM that lets the douchebag player kill off one of the only likable characters because the player in real life is the fucking punching bag of the group
>the GM that does not even let you fucking finish your character sheet if you miss a single thing when you were kinda busy before(e.g. trying to force you to play your character naked for the campaign because you were doing other important shit while making it and forgetting to choose armor
>it's the GM that forgets your party killed a ghoul so effectively tossing around a corpse constantly grabbing onto you for 20 in game minutes
I have so many stories
>>47950491
i have so many fucking grammar errors in that post and i apologize i just needed to get all that off my chest
>>47947386
>skeletons growing chest hair
my sides
>a water elemental inhibited with a lust potion
that's how Genasi are made
>>47949392
>Pre-rolling
Pic related. I'm SLIGHTLY forgiving about it if they realize they jumped the gun, but it's distracting and gamey.
>Players who uses the same first/last name
Had a player--a good player mind you--do this a lot. He had a small stable of names he regularly reused, but even he came to realize that it got old (and made it too hard to remember who was who when he played in multiple games). He seems to be enjoying the experience of putting in effort towards 100% fresh characters.
>sole purpose of antagonizing other players
This. Fucking--this. What the hell does one expect to gain from being a douche to OTHER PEOPLE at the game table? Do they WANT to end the game and burn bridges? It just never adds up. So much frustration.
>(I have many stories of this one, if you want one I can provide)
Do tell. This is the go-to place to vent, after all.
>players who never ever even want to take a plot hook or play into the setting in any way whatsoever
>they just want a sandbox where they can get crazy stats
It's not even rollplay versus roleplay. They do roleplay. They just want to be the big hero with the crazy build at all times.
>it's the player who keeps rolling a d20 with literally every sentence he says to an NPC.
>the only objective of character creation is to optimize for combat
>>47954272
That's super annoying. The entire point of doing characters together is to link them and come up with good plot hooks for the GM to use.
>>47954315
>I struggle to become perfect warrior!
>>47946820
Pick a character from some other form of media and just be them.
>Be DM
>Be shitty DM
>Have ideas
>Never write them down
>Have session planned
>Procrastinate and never actually gather maps or make encounters
>Attempt to read "the lazy DM"
>Too lazy to do anything more than skim through it
>Want to voice act npcs, spend a little time practicing throughout the day
>When actually playing, get too insecure and default back to third person descriptions for everything in default voice
I also want to be a player but it's far easier finding players than it is finding a game to join
I'm so sorry for being so terrible.
>>47926086
everytime I read these threads, it usually just looks like players who are pissed because they do a better job than their DM's, so, really, they should just become DM's.
>>47954767
Are you me?
>>47938470
It's hard to learn "properly" without enlisting since you won't get unit coherency and other bullshit that's involved in any sub-company level tactics, but I'd start at US FMs, probably starting off with FM 3-06 URBAN OPERATIONS and FM 7-8 Infantry rifle platoon & squad. FM 6-5 if you're a MUHREENs fellow.
if someone is actually seriously interested in learning this kind of stuff up to platoon level on-par with boots, add me on steam http://steamcommunity.com/id/its-strelka-time/
might run a few 'nam campaigns soon.
>Start campaign, me and players build world together.
>Except one fuck who's facebooking on their phone the entire time, bored because he can't stab things yet.
>Everyone brings me a solid character backstory. Only a paragraph or two each, but it gives me enough to go on.
>Except that one guy who just brings me half a sentence backstory which is basically "He's a guy who stabs people."
>Team works together, gets shit done, roleplaying, having a good time.
>Except that one guy who bitches and moans whenever he can't stab people, complains that no one's talking to the blood-covered psychopath who's only goal in life is to stab people, and that I'm not giving him any plot hooks from his non-existent backstory so he has a plot reason to stab people.
>Group manages to politics their way into making buttloads of money and having plenty of power and prestige.
>That one guy walks up to a king and stabs him in the face because "I'm bored." Flips his shit when the guards start stabbing him back, getting angry when the rest of the group isn't jumping to his aide.
Not sure why I waited to so long to boot him. He never seemed interested in doing anything but insisted on showing up every game.
