A fa/tg/guy vented about there not being much new content on /tg/. I’m a oldfag from /co/ but longtime GM for different games, including some homebrew. Figured I’d share, thought fresh content would be appreciated.
This is a story of four chill bros with superpowers. Takes place in Savage Worlds system, completely normal setting with no fantasy, sci-fi, horror or elements that would make it interesting. Basically the real world.
Four chill dudes I had been gaming with a long time.
>Comicbro, pretty quiet but super friendly.
>Gamebro, very talented and competitive wargamer, very direct.
>Musicbro, highly charismatic. Very close friends with Comicbro and Armybro.
>Armybro, very close with Musicbro and Comicbro. More interested in chilling than gaming, but pulls his weight and super laid back.
They roll normal characters, nothing special. Then explain that they were all caught in a freak storm (think Misfits), resulting in their gaining powers. First game start with these powers manifesting. These powers were determined randomly by me from a list I made ahead of time.
>Comicbro: Can access any information on the internet (or stored on a device with a network connection). It’s extremely overwhelming, so his subconscious has translated it into a library with an oldtimey British butler to answer his questions.
>Gamebro: Verbal teleportation. Can teleport anywhere he speaks aloud, so long as he can see it or has been there.
>Musicbro: Peerless swordsmanship with any blade he picks up.
>Armybro: Xilomancy. Controls any wood. If it’s still in the ground, he can alter its growth.
First few arcs of the campaign go how you’d expect. Bros get their feet wet, figure out their powers, stop a couple of dangerous people who have also developed abilities. The whole time Comicbro and Musicbro are trying to guide the party into becoming a superhero team (no surprise for Comicbro), but Armybro is indifferent and Gamebro thinks the idea’s pretty queerballs. Party feats include:
>Stop bank robberies staged by a man who can cut off parts of himself to spawn duplicates. By the time they track him down he’s nothing but a torso and arm no eyes or nose.
>Defeat a clown who kidnapped the Prime Minister of Japan. Not a scary psycho clown, a clown that looks like he just stepped out of a kid’s birthday party but all of his props effect reality (i.e. If he pulls out a long scarf from his sleeve, he literally created it. It didn’t exist prior to the trick).
>Thwart a steampunkomancer from altering reality to create a world that is exclusively steampunk. Turns out the guy doesn’t even have steam related powers, just really liked steampunk.
>Fight a team of villains whose powers are thematic opposites of their own. This was the laziest concept I ever executed as a GM but couldn’t resist.
>Apprehended a girl whose power was to turn people into unicorns, but had no real sense of right or wrong and just kept turning people into goddamn unicorns.
These are things they did over the course of the campaign, but the real story’s the final arc.
Comicbro accesses Archives (his internal library), notices a recurring trend. Realizes there may be someone in play that just hasn’t revealed himself. Brings it up and they start picking up on things in the next few encounters. Seemingly benign people who had the inexplicable impulse to become villains, things just working against the party that could easily be explained away as GM-fiats to try and make the encounter more interesting (a vine tripping Musicbro during a duel, Gamebro’s target not being where he thought they would be after teleporting, etc).
Party gets clues and puts it together: The big bad is a speedster calling himself “Swift.” He’s been keeping out of sight, whispering these insane plots to people with powers, pushing them toward what the party’s been going up against. With the party distracted, he’s been shoring up resources.
Swift decides it’s time to end things. He manages to murder his way to the top of the every crime syndicate in North America. Once he’s got power, he goes after the Bros in full. Comicbro gets shot in the stomach when the mob kicks the door to his apartment in, only escapes when Gamebro ‘ports in and grabs him.
Comicbro recovers, starts going deeper into the Archive to try to come up with something. Meanwhile, Swift’s taunting them by upping the crime rate in every city, one at a time, being on hand to stop the police before they can step in.
Armybro, Gamebro and Musicbro stop a crime spree. Odds are against them, armed criminals everywhere. Turn it around only to have Swift show up and grab Gamebro, covering his mouth so he can’t ‘port. Pulls out a knife, stabs him in the spine.
Pulls out the knife; it’s one of those trick ones with the retracting plastic blade. Proceeds to dodge every attack they throw, slapping them around to show dominance.
Party is battered and pissed off (lots of complaints from Musicbro and Gamebro that they have no way of beating this guy). Comicbro is quiet, passes me a note. Start passing them back and forth.
>”Is there any way to slow him down by giving him a clean shot on me?”
>”There’s no way to know. All you’d guarantee is that he’s pausing for a fraction of a second to kill you.”
>”Will my research reveal something to stop him or am I just kicking the can?”
>”All you’re going to find about the villain Swift is what you’ve already figured out.”
>Picks up on the hint quickly, I feel like I gave it away. “I talk to Abernathy (the butler) and ask him to compile a list of people that were in the geographic area of the storm and to reference them against a list of people who have been brought in by the police for ANYTHING. I look through their files and images.”
Comicbro gets what he’s after. Every conceivable, available detail about James Houlihan. Reveals it to the party, they get to work.
Final session. Party shows up, tenser than any recent campaign we’ve done. Put their plan into action.
Comicbro goes through Archive, gets info he needs to get he and Gamebro through security and onto the evening news. They call Swift out, telling him when and where.
Armybro is at the location, specifically staged to be a closed stadium filled with two-by-fours and hastily planted trees just out of sight. Coup de grace of this is stage itself, which they’ve replaced with a series of wooden panels. Armybro is beneath, ready to lock Swift in place.
Swift gets there early to scout. Brings cronies with him, which now include a few superpowered douches. Moment he steps on stage, Armybro and Gamebro start go nuts. Prep time goes a long way, they’re beating the hell out of this guy.
Musicbro takes on the cronies single-handedly. Only survives the first wave of attacks through very bad rolls on my part.
Swift is angry, tries to get away but Armybro keeps throwing his footing out from under him. Eventually starts punching at the ground immediately beneath him, tearing a hole to escape through.
Comicbro screams “HOULIHAN” from offstage. Swift freezes. Armybro and Gamebro keep up the attack, but Swift’s attention is very clearly on Comicbro. Here’s how it plays out:
>Comicbro starts telling him everything he knows (and reveals in the process that he has really good improv skills).
>Swift smashes Gamebro’s jaw, putting serious penalties against future attempts.
>Comicbro talks about the first time Swift was brought to a police station.
>Swift makes amazing rolls to tear across the stage, opening holes in it to try and find Armybro.
>Comicbro continues: It wasn’t because he had done anything wrong.
>Musicbro is cutting through chumps, having trouble with pyrokinetic henchman.
>”You were there because they needed to talk to you.”
>Swift spots Armybro.
>Gamebro fails attempt to teleport.
>”They needed to know if you had seen it. If you could tell them what happened.”
>Swift runs by, grabs Armybro, throws him onto the stage.
>”They needed to know if you were there…”
>Swift starts beating the hell out of Armybro, gets him down to single digits.
>Musicbro manages to cut down the pyrokinetic.
>Gamebro fails again.
>”…When your father murdered your mother.”
>Swift tears across the stage, grabs Comicbro by the throat.
>Gamebro makes his roll.
>Armybro makes a roll.
Swift grasps Comicbro’s throat, growls. “Who do you think you are?”
Gamebro appears behind Musicbro, grabs him. Makes another ‘port roll, appears behind Swift. At the same time Armybro warps the wood beneath Swift to grip his feet.
Comicbro grabs Swift’s head, forcing him to keep looking forward. To not know what’s going on in his blind spot.
“I’m a superhero, you piece of shit.”
Musicbro throws the sword. Gamebro fails his roll. Everyone at the table is shocked. Swift’s final moments of life are spent looking at Comicbro, who holds him in place even as blood starts to trickle down from his mouth.
The rest of the encounter plays out the way you would expect. The three form around their fallen bro, teary-eyed. Reading it here it doesn’t seem like much, but these four had been at these characters for months. Backstories, side missions, inside jokes. And Comicbro, always quiet and usually out of the way of combat, supporting the team as best he could with his powers that were “cool but don’t really do much,” It was a moment. An unfair, poetic moment.
I asked the characters to take a minute to come up with their epilogues.
>Comicbro spent his final moments in the Archive. It seemed right to fade out to a good book and Abernathy smiling as he made a cup of tea.
>Gamebro saw no reason to stop using his powers. True to form, figured out most efficient use of his powers transporting aid materials to people in need from those who wouldn’t miss them. Sort of a superpowered Robin Hood.
>Musicbro didn’t see how being good with swords did much besides stopping street level crime. Took Gamebro’s advice and became a sword instructor to people in low-income neighborhoods so they had the means to defend themselves.
>Armybro smiled at Comicbro across the table.
>”I become a motherfuckin’ superhero.”
Nice, OP.
Are you still running games with those four?
There once was a pretty orphan that wanted, more than anything else, to be a Wizard, a Sorcerer, anything that would give her magic. Her childhood was spent in the dusty attic of the orphanage, thumbing through books that regaled her with tales of great wizards, archmages, witches, and even terrifying necromancers. She was absolutely enthralled.
Of course, by the time she was a teenager, she had shown no innate magical power, and no college of magic would accept her because, quite simply, she could not cover the costs of tuition, especially for someone who possessed no innate ability.
She turned to stealing, conning people out of their money with parlor tricks, firebreathing, fake divining, fortune-telling, anything she could do to convince people she had magic, while taking their hard earned cash with her fake abilities. She'd save, of course, for her tuition, putting the money in a bank ran by a trusted and safe figure in her city. Soon, her cons wouldn't just be cons.
Just barely scraping by, she spent the next six years living a lie, having to skip town sometimes in order to avoid being caught, and sometimes being beaten up, mugged, and otherwise punished when she did end up getting caught. However, like clockwork, she'd do her best to drop the money off at the bank, where she knew it would be safe.
Cue her finally saving up enough for tuition. Overjoyed, she'd head to the bank... Only to find that there was technically no money in her account, despite the fact that she just deposited a week ago. She'd argue, she'd beg, and then finally she got violent and ended up thrown in jail, still in her dirty and tattered robes.
In her cell was a 'fellow' wizard, charged for using magic missiles in a barfight. A druid, charged for going into bearform in the same barfight, and a barbarian who ended up throwing both out the window. So, potential soldiers for her new war against the man who stole her stolen earnings.
>>47915891
Some.
This was a couple years before Armybro joined the army and was sent to Alaska. He has two girls now, so not much time to game.
Musicbro moved out to Colorado to pursue his PhD (doctorate in music, incredibly talented trombone player). He joins online games now and then.
Comicbro is still around. I actually convinced him to start GMing, and he's been running successful IKRPG games (say what you will about the system, he loves it).
Gamebro keeps very busy and has to call out from sessions more often than not, but I appreciate that he tries.
>>47916402
Is this from a game you were in? Or DMing?
>>47916402
So, she gave a rousing speech, describing herself as a wizard who scraped by, using her magical skills to help poor orphaned children on the streets, (declining to demonstrate her powers), only to find herself framed for a crime she didn't commit, with all her orphan-helping-funds stolen, and thrown in jail. She implored them to help her take the funds back, with force, if necessary.
Impressed by her warm-heart, the wizard wanted to help another of his kind out, the Druid wanted to see if she had a plan to break him out of jail, and the Barbarian figured her quest for her money would give him an excuse to crack skulls.
After they all agreed that she would get her money back, and they would take whatever they wished once the smoke cleared, she used a strange, exotic spell from far off lands to open a lock, deftly bringing a lockpick up from her sleeve into her palm.
The wizard was suspicious, but figured she was getting him out of jail anyways.
>>47916530
Game I was in. I was the other Wizard.
OC thread?
>>47915663
I don't get the hint, is it a reference to something? A comic book or superhero movie or some shit? I feel like that's why Comicbro picked up on it
>>47920274
I think it has to do with the structure, which is weird since he says "villain named Swift" instead of just "him." So there's no useful information on the super villain once he shows up, but could be beforehand.
gay
>>47916556
Don't leave us hanging man what happened next
>>47915618
Thank you for the content, bumping to keep down the "stat me" and "wat didgerido" threads.
>>47915717
This is what a game should be. Bravo. Well done!
Really happy the thread's still alive, I'll post some other (shorter) stories.
>>47921319
he is gone anon.
So Swift is what happens if Barry Allen version Flash didn't see Zoom killing his Mom? I can dig it.
Comicbro links me to /tg/ thread about GMs forcing a player's paladin to fall. I get curious and ask a player (Cookbro) if he'd be okay with me throwing morally ambiguous situations at his character, a paladin of Pelor, to see how he would handle them.
Cookbro's a shrewd player and loves roleplaying, is up to the task.
>Little girl is curse that causes anyone who makes skin to skin contact with her immediately rot and die. Whole village, including parents, insist the right thing to do is kill her. Paladin gears up, takes her in his arms and carries her off to a harmless lich lord the party encountered months ago who turned to necromancy in an attempt to bring back his family, who he still mourns for. After giving her to the lich's care, paladin says "heal the hearts of one another."
>Find a career rogue who upon being defeated insists that he has seen the light and will reform. No one in the party believes him. Paladin doesn't believe him. Binds him in shackles, tosses him in cart. Looks the rogue in the eye, tells him that if he wants their mercy there's only one path to it: Legit redemption. Proceeds to force the rogue, who keeps trying to escape and get out of the situation, to be there with him for every charitable act he commits in Pelor's name. Eventually (over a year in-game), rogue eventually recognizes the cycle of poverty, suffering and violence in the world. Is legitimately reformed, goes on to be a politician who uses his craftiness to get power, then actually improve things for the downtrodden.
>Group of religious zealots brutally massacre a fledgling community. Party attacks, religious leader pleads with paladin to appeal to his sense of duty to his god; that they were enacting the will of their own. He answers "Your god has commanded you to butcher the innocent. My god has commanded me to heal those I find in need. The land is sick with the blood of the innocent, born of a sick god and his charges. It is my duty to heal it." Strikes him down.
>>47924841
pretty good
>>47924841
>Find out owner of a bank in massive city is corrupt, backing key players in the underworld. Has been donating to charities in order to cultivate good image. Party deliberates, since the charities will likely fall apart if the owner is taken out. Paladin sees the charity work as a fortunate symptom of a sickness, one that needs to be exorcised. Approaches the local church of Pelor, who legitimately want to help but don't have the resources for the number of people who would be effected by the outcome. The party eventually resolves, with the paladin's blessing, to approach the churches of all major deities and petition for them to take a share of the disenfranchised, then go after the owner. Paladin's logic is that even if they aren't serving Pelor, they're safe and cared for.
>Normal town, until party finds out that a local farmer (and former adventurer) has a succubus for a wife. She doesn't seem to be bothering anyone, is just a succubus. Paladin shrugs and says it isn't really his business; if her dark nature is being healed, the party really shouldn't be bothering with it. If things go south, he has to pray the farmer is qualified to deal with her.
>Going back to previous post: Party enters a town, is asked to go after a nearby lich lord. Town seems fine, turns out the lich hasn't done anything to them but probably will because hey, liches gonna lich. Make their way to the top of his keep, find he's just a skeleton in a robe, puttering about a library and writing on occasion. His undead thralls are mostly there to help keep things organized. He was a librarian who lost his family and wanted to bring them back, went so far as to turn himself into a rich and study necromancy. It never worked though, not really. Paladin resolves to leave him be; he believes that an agreeable lich with access to stores of knowledge would be useful when they need information on future antagonistic lich lords. This failed man of family could help save others later on.
>>47925118
>Wanderer is looking for a woman who has taken flight, plans to kill her. Tells party that she killed his daughter. They're with him when he finds her, find out that she murdered his daughter as justice for her son, who died in poverty after she seduced him and ran off with everything he had. Party restrains both, deliberate. Paladin tries to reason with the man, who won't have it. He asks the woman if she has sought penance for her crime. She refuses to repent for justice, and what would be the point? She died the day her son took his own life. Paladin draws his sword, explains that by his eye both are dead already, since rot has set where love and peace once were in their hearts. That the hatred they have will do nothing to improve the world. They get nervous when they realize he's serious, start to be more open to reason. Entire night is spent settling things between the two.
I threw a bunch at Cookbro, but the short of it is this: By his perspective, if the paladin was willing to take a step back and assess the situation, then act with the confidence that he was serving his god in the best way he was able as a flawed mortal, he could not fall. Compromises of character for any gain or good would sully him and his faith.
I liked the interpretation. Cookbro played a good paladin, made it so I never understood the whole "meathead zealot" meme.
>>47925259
Sounds like you have some pretty great players, OP.
>>47925404
No kidding, anon. Part of it is that I'm kind of picky about who I'll GM for, no one sits down at the table anymore unless one of the bros vouches for them. Most of it is that I've just been blessed.
That said, I do have some That Guy stories, which I'll post next.
I show up for a game someone else is GMing. Comicbro and Gamebro are there. Gamebro looks really serious and Comicbro looks kind of pissed. GM introduces me to two players who are joining us, who I'll call Static and Jojo.
Static because the guy's personality is the equivalent of an unplugged television. Jojo because the guy's initials are "J.O." And Jojo is, within the first five minutes of starting the game, that guy.
>Gets huffy anytime we talk about starting the game because he's still working on his character, which is taking forever because he's min-maxing.
>When he's done he proceeds to complain that the only reason he took so long is that the system is terribly organized (D&D 5e. Say what you will about it, it's not that hard to build a character). Lectures us for twenty minutes on what's wrong with it.
>Whenever someone comes up with a plan or suggests something, he aggressively asks "why don't we just do X?" He can't propose any course of action without it seeming condescending and confrontational.
>Talks about how stupidly easy everything is if you know what you're doing, so much so that he's not paying attention in combat.
>Then proceeds to hardcore sulk and bitch when his character takes ANY damage.
>Anytime someone has to check something on their sheet or look something up he shakes his head and says "you should learn your character."
>Bitches about other games while we're playing. Fancies himself a competitive Warmachine player. Complains that there are no "fun" formats. Comicbro's organizing a shared battlegroup tourney, PURELY fun and for charity. Everyone knows Comicbro has been working on this format from the ground up for over a month. Jojo replies "No, that sounds incredibly stupid."
>Whines that non-combat situations are oblique, combat is too hard when it looks like he's at risk.
>Tells GM that the adventure was too easy at the end of the night.
>Doesn't pay for pizza.
>Is an overall condescending ass.
Next: Jojo gets rekt.
>>47925808
Jojo's an ass, but thinks he's a VERY talented Warmachine player (and takes time to tell people what they did wrong following every game he wins). Comicbro's the PG (volunteer organizer) for his store, works hard despite NO support (they make so much on MtG they don't care about tabletop). Gamebro is PG for a different store, but they work together for some events.
They team up for a tournament and I happen to be there (I suspect it is because God loves me and wants me to see this).
While everyone's setting up, Jojo is talking about how incredibly easy it is to metagame in Warmachine and burn his opponent's time. He's notorious for this and other stores have talked about ejecting him, but they can't 100% prove that he's metagaming.
>Hurries through his turns, but really, REALLY takes his time when it comes to anything he has to do on his opponent's clock. I've seen him take over ten seconds for a tough check).
>Tells you about how good his first list is against your army, obsessively describing what a good drop it will be against you for minutes on end. When you choose a different list that would be a better matchup against the one he's gushing over, that's when he drops the second list.
>Asks a lot of questions while your clock is running.
These are all easy to work around (just switch it over to his clock or ignore his squealing about lists), but still annoying. Especially when the two PGs are standing nearby, listening to you talk about how easy it is to metagame.
Round one starts. He's up against one of the bros (Techbro), who plays a tight, clean game and wins despite Jojo screaming for a judge (Gamebro) multiple times. As soon as the game is resolved Jojo yells for Gamebro and asks him to follow him into the back, where he talks down to him and tells him that he disagrees with a critical call he made (I watched Gamebro read the ruling aloud from the online reference, it was a clear choice). He then storms back out to the tourney.
>>47926006
Jojo marches up to Comicbro.
>"I lost the first round and have things to do today. Can I get my money back?"
>"...No? The entry fee is non-refundable."
>"I only played one round."
>"I understand, but I can't refund it."
>"I only played ONE ROUND. I wasn't even planning on being here for the whole tournament!" Getting visibly angry, people start looking over.
>"If you drop it effects your opponent's standing later on. If you knew you had other places to be today, you probably would have been better off waiting for the next tournament."
>"This is bullshit."
He storms over to Gamebro, who he had JUST told off for making a fair call, and bitches about how inflexible Comicbro is, how this isn't how a PG should treat players. To his credit, Gamebro just listens and shrugs intermittently.
You should know something about Comicbro: He is very nice and tries to be pleasant. You have to go a long way to piss him off, and then longer still to get him to do something about it. When he does, it's VERY uncomfortable. Eyes go wide, stops blinking, speaks in an even tone, generally unsettling.
Jojo packs up his bag with a lot of grumbling. Starts to storm out, jabs a fat finger toward Comicbro.
>"This is why I game at XYZ."
>"The people at XYZ hate you."
>Jojo stops. A couple people near Comicbro look up at him. I see it in his eyes, he's gone.
>"What?"
>"The people at XYZ hate you. The PG knows you cheat, the sta-"
>"I DO NOT CHEAT!"
>"I listened to you talk about how easy it is to meta. I've watched you prolong rolls on your opponent's clock. I've had PGs come to events here and ask me to DQ you. I have never seen you play a clean game, and never talked to someone who enjoyed a game against you."
>"Bullshit."
>"Go to XYZ. Walk in, have your meltdown there and whine about how shitty I am. Tell the PG there how unfair I am, the same one who asked me to DQ you a few months ago. The same one who talked to the store owner about banning you."
>>47926159
>"I get along great with the owner."
>"No, you don't. You don't get along with anyone." He puts down his sheet and pen, starts walking toward Jojo. "You alienate every person you play with, make yourself a toxic presence at every store you go to. The only reason you think you get along with people is because you don't have the social consciousness to know that people don't like you."
>Techbro starts walking over from his table to try and calm Comicbro down. Gamebro's trying to signal him to let it go.
>"I have tried to be decent to you as a PG, and every time I try to be patient you push me with more cheating and nonsense."
>"Well, you suck as a PG. Your events suck."
>youdumbfaggot.gif
>"My role as a PG is to promote the game and t-"
>"Promote th-"
>"PROMOTE THE GAME AND DEVELOP THE PLAYER BASE. To work toward the overall health of the local community. You cheat, you pride yourself on stomping new players even in their first game, and you complain to everyone about everything you find wrong with events or how you could do better."
>"I COULD do better."
>"You ran ONE event in 2013 and threw a tantrum when less than ten people came in front of the players who DID show. Other PGs in the area and I have shown you nothing but patience and you still shit on us. I've had enough of it."
>(Mockingly) "I've had enough of it. What? You're going to throw me out of a tournament I'm literally leaving right now?"
>"No. You are permanently banned from all events and tournaments at this location."
>Stares furiously. Steps up to Comicbro, clenching fists. Has a good six inches and fifty pounds on him.
>>47926294
>Techbro, Gamebro and a few others are near them, putting their hands in-between to keep the two separated.
>"I can play at any other store."
>"No other store wants you. I've been talking about this with the other PGs for awhile now, I was the only one telling them that you could be reasoned with and that blacklisting wasn't necessary."
>"You think it's okay to treat players like this?"
>"I think it's okay to cut someone out of the community when they make everything they touch worse."
>"Fuck you."
At that point Comicbro was just staring. No blinking, not even really looking angry. Just sort of eery. Jojo mumbled something about having things to do and stormed off. As he did he passed by Armybro, who was in town and looking to stop in to see Comicbro.
Couple of things to know about Armybro:
>Very tall, very well built.
>Despite being stationed in a non-combat zone, knows how to kick the shit out of someone.
>Loves Comicbro like a brother, was best man at his wedding.
>Finds Jojo annoying, knows all about him through the bros.
Jojo stops Armybro on his way in, says something like "can you believe Comicbro just banned me?"
Armybro looks inside the store, sees Comicbro. Knows he's livid. Looks at Jojo.
>"You cheat at TOY SOLDIERS, you big faggot."
>"Excuse me?"
>"You didn't hear me? I said you're a waste of sperm and egg."
Armybro heads inside. Found out later that Jojo DID, in fact, get banned from all local stores. Spent over a year bitching about Comicbro, has only been able to get games in the basements of people he hasn't pissed off. Community almost unanimously sided with Comicbro, since almost everyone had been cheated by Jojo at least once.
True to form, every time Jojo sees me he thinks it's a good idea to bitch about Comicbro and Armybro, not knowing that I was a groomsman in the former's wedding also. Dumbass.
>>47926294
Bumping because I need to hear the end of this
>>47926508
Yeah I'm invested too
>>47915705
Damn it Zoooooom.
>>47926497
lol jojo
Here's one about Comicbro's wedding.
>Comicbro gets married to a girl we all like. She's into board games and can keep up with us at gaming and drinking.
>Seven groomsmen including: Armybro (best man), Musicbro, Techbro, me (Oldbro).
>Time for a bachelor party. We know Comicbro REALLY doesn't want one, his future brother-in-law insists and throws one together.
>Really awkward. Comicbro doesn't drink and is pretty uncomfortable the whole time. Even Cards Against Humanity is awkward, since he's trying to play answers that won't be too weird for future in-law.
>It's a flop, and even if he isn't disappointed by it we still don't want that to be his sendoff.
>Musicbro and Armybro shanghai him, which is easy because how could he expect a bachelor party when he already had one?
>We all get together at a cabin where I've set up a one-off adventure for their old D&D characters.
>Plot revolves around the bros journeying back for the wedding of Comicbro's character. On the way they find a fell army has cut through their course.
>Whole night is them fighting their way through it, reminiscing in bloodshed all the adventures they've had.
>Everyone uses it as an opportunity to say something kind and toast to the marriage.
>Comicbro tears up, which gets me going.
>Just a bunch of gaming fags sitting around crying because they're like family to one another.
>coughalsoastripperdoneuplikeafantasycharactercough
>Comicbro later tells me over cigars that it was the perfect bachelor party.
Pic related. Comicbro during Armybro's speech.
>>47927856
Forgot pic.
>>47927877
#sorrynotsorry
Nostalgia made me call Gamebro, turns out there's another Jojo story.
Friend of Gamebro's worked at B&N with Jojo years ago. Tells him a story about something that happened to Jojo at work. Keep in mind, this very embarrassing thing happened twice in the course of two years.
Gamebro mentions it to Cookbro, who is running a game anyone can join. Jojo's in it and keep derailing everything. After talking to Gamebro, he comes up with an idea.
Everyone, including Gamebro, sits down to the table to a new quest. Cookbro sets them up.
>Alchemist guild has hired you to deliver highly volatile components to one of their locations.
>Quest goes about how you'd expect. Bandits, saboteurs, etc.
>Get to destination.
>Alchemist is talking to them, thanking them for their help. Is being very condescending.
>Wait a second...He's actually being a lot like...Jojo!
>Jojo doesn't pick up on this.
>Alchemist stops talking.
>Suddenly looks very uncomfortable.
>Excuses himself.
>Party rolls to figure out the reason. Druid catches a scent in the air.
>That alchemist just shit himself mid-sentence.
>Players laugh.
>Jojo not so much.
>>47929322
Later on, they have another mission that takes them through that town. They end up talking to the same alchemist.
>Being SUPER arrogant.
>Complains that he's been banned from local arena as a participant or spectator.
>Complains that he's been banned from pretty much ALL nearby arenas.
>Lectures for a half hour about what's wrong with the party, asking why their gear isn't optimized, why they aren't working more efficiently.
>Stops mid sentence.
>Excuses himself again.
>Just shit himself. Again.
Everyone laughs and thinks this is just a character quirk. Jojo suddenly looks REALLY uncomfortable. Cookbro continues on:
"After coming back in a newly donned robe, the alchemist continues to lecture you and talk down to you for as long as he has your ear. You can't help but wonder how someone who shit himself at work, twice, could have the audacity to call attention to himself, talk to people like their garbage, or really be anything BUT civil and quiet, but you guess some people just don't get the hint."
Jojo stopped showing up shortly after, insisting that he had become too busy for the game.
And that's the story of how a GM shut That Guy down.
