Imagine me as a confused parent.
"So how do you win?"
>>47896632
"Games aren't sports, dad, they aren't meant to always be won. They are meant to have fun."
"When you start playing the games competitively, it no longer is a game. At that point, it becomes a sport."
"The victory condition of a game is having fun together with your friends. If you play a game and have fun playing it, you've already won."
>>47897238
"So what you're saying, you and yer mates are a bunch of fags? God dammit billy, I knew that little league with their damn participation trophy would make ya a pussy."
"Come on boy, put your double d book down, were gonna beat the queer out of ya with good ole American football."
>>47897238
i have no son
>>47896632
You reduce your opponent's life total to zero, usually. You also win if they have to draw a card but they don't have any left in their deck.
>>47896632
When you either have more touchdowns than your opponent or have killed all thier players
Also dad in bloodbowl you don't reset ever every fucking little thing, drives go untill half time, end time or score
>>47896632
"Same way as by watching football, we enjoy ourselves.
Also not getting stabbed to death by monsters, though that's more like winning a particular match than winning the season. The game as a whole pretty much goes on until we get sick of it or something comes up."
>>47897291
>beating the queer out of ya
>confirmed for never having seen locker room culture among any male sports team
I know several people who had zero idea they were gay until they turned jock and experienced locker room life.
It's like a gay nightclub minus the music, sexual safety, or safety of ones genitalia.
>>47896632
By not playing.
You collect fun points.
Whoever gets the most fun points wins.
Whoever gets the least, also wins.
The people in between win too.
>>47897453
> everyone-is-a-winner mentality
It's not enough for me to succeed, others should fail too.
You win by having an adventure so rich that you and your friends learn something.
>>47896632
by not dying and getting rich.
>shrug
>>47897695
But there are losers.
Basically, whoever starts thinking like you.
>>47896632
By getting the most points. It's like more complicated Carcassonne.
>>47897695
>something is bad
>this means the extreme opposite is good!
>>47897428
What
This sounds like typical "you're masculine cause you're secretly gay" nerd talk
>>47898374
Turns out being gay as a joke is a big thing.
Military culture is the same way.
>>47897428
>I know several people who had zero idea they were gay until they turned jock and experienced locker room life.
>I know several people who went through that specific situation with this outcome
yeah, go fuck yourself, faggot
>>47897291
But American Football is the gayest sport ever.
>>47898456
Not while soccer exists, but it's up there yes.
>>47898411
Compared to the usual scenario having close to a 0% gay conversion rate a locker room full of testosterone fueled adolescents leading to a 30% gay turn over thats quite significant. Also it's been repeated and not a "just once" type scenario.
>>47896632
I have never seen or heard of a parent, after being explained what the basics of pnp games are, ask this question.
I remain convinced this is some manner of television meme designed to elicit some kind of comedic reprisal.
>>47898469
I've played both competitively. Handegg is far more homosexual.
>>47896632
"Depends on the DM and story, because roleplaying is just that. Roleplaying. Sometimes you just need to kill the bbeg and stop his evil plans, other times you may need to convince a king not to do something retarded, depends on what the story is."
>>47898469
being hands off makes shoe-orb players significantly less gay, even if the game itself is a bunch of faffing around and prancing like faggots
>>47898488
Nah mate. Its definitely soccer. Only sport i've seen someone flick anothers ear, have the ear flicked victim fall down like a cripple, shit and piss themselves, and then get angry when the ref saw the whole fucking thing and isn't buying it. Then the dumbfuck team mates think they can heckle the ref as if he gives a shit what those dumbasses think.
Seriously though, you guys deserve some props as you're the first sport to make me absolutely hate it to its core but make me watch just so i can see what kind of sissy shit you pull next.
"You see son. That guy in the blue? Watch. See that?! Ya. That ass grab. That'll turn into the best acting you'll ever see just give it half a-THERE!"
"Daddy! This is gay as shit!"
"Son i'm showing you a performance piece of the arts. Grow some balls and appreciate it."
>>47898479
My mom encourages me to win or asks me if I've won after sessions pretty regularly. She also often refers to Tabletop gaming as playing cards.
My mom is nice though, so even though I've explained once or twice, I dont correct her anymore.
>>47898601
Yeah, that's shitty acting and players being stupid.
American Football on the other is not only super gay in that it's a bunch of sweaty muscular guys ineffectually shoving each other, but it's also boring because there's so much fucking talking in between the plays. That's some pansy ass shit right there.
>>47897291
"Dad, I wrestle junkies for money, this is what I do when I wanna relax. Besides, you dodged conscription anyway."
>>47898697
Are you bouncer or nurse (male) ?
>>47898732
I was about to ask if he was an Orderly at a Rehab Clinic.
>>47898688
I've seen that acting bullshit in every soccer game besides college matches and who the fuck cares about college matches.
>>47898758
Yeah, it's a shitty thing about soccer, but soccer is still non-contact. Football is gayer.
>>47897291
"Touch me and I'll report you to Child Services. Your life will be ruined."
>>47898748
>>47898732
7Eleven night shift.
>>47898936
"Go ahead. Call child services. They can't unrape you. Now come and let daddy make a man outta you."
>>47898822
>ineffectual
>need to bodily strike down another man weighing up to and sometimes more than 300lbs of muscle
>injuries are incredibly common despite the 20+lbs of protective gear
>expected to play despite oinjuries mounting up
Dude, you are trying too hard.
>>47898956
I can believe that.
>>47898976
>need to bodily strike down another man weighing up to and sometimes more than 300lbs of muscle
AHAHAHA, no. D-line gets to body tackle people. O-Line just gets to ineffectually shove the front padding of the D-Line players. It's retarded.
>injuries are incredibly common despite the 20+lbs of protective gear
>expected to play despite oinjuries mounting up
Same with Hockey, except Hockey is actually a manly spot and fights are allowed. Plus, Rugby doesn't have protective padding at all.
American Football is not only the gayest sport, it's also one of the worst.
>>47899020
>O-Line just gets to ineffectually shove the front padding of the D-Line players
>needs to physically stop a 300lb man from getting past you
>Hockey
>manly
Right.
>>47899073
hockey is about strapping knives to your feet to go fast, so you can hit people with a stick
each team has abigguy loaded down with armor plating and an extra big stick that you have to shoot rubber bullets at, too
the winner is the one with the most teeth left at the end of the game
>>47899073
Confirmed for never having played football.
>>47899124
Hockey is the best sport.
For Commies!
>>47900020
But the US beat Russia in Hockey...
>>47900054
mfw we're even better at being commies than commies.
>>47900020
Reminder that Canada helped defeat communism with the power of hockey.
>>47898673
That is adorable.
>>47897238
>>47897291
>>47897428
>I know several people who had zero idea they were gay until they turned jock and experienced locker room life.
They were just closeted or delusional. Being in a locker room isn't going to make someone go full gay. At the most it might bump them up a peg on the Kinsey scale.
>It's like a gay nightclub minus the music, sexual safety, or safety of ones genitalia.
While I've never spent much time in locker rooms, I imagine it's pretty gay when all the guys are young and know each other well. The guys on my cross-country team did all sorts of gay shit, and my own friends were the same when we‘d have sleepovers in highschool to play warhams and stuff. It's just a natural part of young men interacting.
>>47896632
For some reason, my grandfather, an otherwise sharp man, was convinced that D&D consisted of little more than looking at pictures. I tried to explain otherwise, but it didn't take.
Back when I still lived at home, my mother really hated everything tg, calling it a waste of money (while spending hundreds on new age and self help books). So eventually I just kept it a secret from her. I wasn't playing d&d or magic, I was "meeting with friends".
Nowadays I don't bother to correct her.
I kinda envy >>47898673. She might not get it, but at least she shows an unterest.
>>47902816
>slavs are the only other people in the world who are good at hockey
why does it have to be this way, it's the best sport
"Just try to tell a good story. The dice are because surprises are fun."
Jesus, I wish that was true......
>>47904180
I dunno but we routinely slap around canada in hockey as well. You and russia have dropped the ball the past 2 and a half decades.
You complete the objective
duh.
you win by living til the end of the game
then you play again next week
>>47906974
That sounds like nambly pambly bullshit, son. You don't win at life by simply surviving. Thats what losers do. You gotta have objective based goals that you aim to achieve at all times, and no subjective BS either. None of that "well i tried and thats what counts" crap neither. You don't tell the parents you botched their kids surgery and go "yeah..your kids dead. But, hey! At least i tried, and thats what counts!" and expect a nice pat on the back and a pay raise you think you deserve.
>>47897291
"Boy, where the fuck did you learn to be a faggot? Watching those chinese girl cartoons, Rolling those dice, playing with your mini dolls?"
"Dad, I actually learnt all this in the Army/Marines as an infantryman/rifleman."
Funnily enough, I have seen more nerdy shit in the combat arms of these branches than POGs.
>>47907327
Well, shit. Now we're gonna have to have hourly bangup's and segregate by gender. Thanks for letting our secret out, ass.
>>47907381
Also who the fuck let you have dice? Last time i saw someone get caught "gambling" they got the wirestrap ruck run.
>>47896632
All I have to do is get a Star Trek (original series) campaign going and my dad will fall in love with it.
>>47907389
>not using a digital dice roller
>>47907412
Doesn't matter which way. "Gambling" is "Gambling" last i heard.
You win by causing all opponents to lose or fulfilling a rare condition.
>>47907389
Well, I got dice, as well as cards, by not gambling and if anyone had any questions about it, I'd show them FM 27-14, chapter 1:
>GAMBLING
>You generally may not gamble while on government-owned or -controlled property or while on duty. Gambling includes lotteries, pools, games for money or property, and the sale or purchase of number slips or tickets. Some gambling activities, however, are allowed but only if specifically approved by Headquarters, Department of the Army. Before participating in any gambling activity on Army property or while on duty, you must ensure that the activity has proper approval from Headquarters, Department of the Army.
>We are not playing for money nor are we playing a game where money is usually played. If you wish to observe us while we play this dice rolling game for conformation, you may do so, otherwise I am still in the right.
Also
>>47907381
>Your chain of command is on 4chan's /tg/
>>47907538
It's more common than you think though it's mostly centered more towards /k/, which admittedly is vastly more worrying. I suppose it depends on who's watching. One could says its gambling and just doesn't know when the bets were made (probably yesterday you smarmy fucks) and to be paid the next time you're all alone and unwatched.
>>47907389
>american military
>>47907653
I guess it all depends on the unit then, we've never had a problem with it. Whenever asked, usually by those who are curious or perhaps suspicious, about RPGs, we just default to "We are playing D&D" even if we are not, or if we are asked about the miniatures, "We are playing a strategy/tactical game." I don't know, We have been pretty much untouched so far.
>>47904180
Europeans play hockey too. What the fuck is wrong with you?
>>47908065
he asked why canada and slavs are the only GOOD hockey players. He forgot the country that routinely kicks their asses in the sport, america, and europe just isn't on the charts.
>>47896632
>you know how in <insert popular show here> the good guys have a new problem every episode?
>but there's also a bigger problem every season?
>and one huge problem the entire series is revolving around?
>it's basically like that.
>we kind of win when we solve the episode's problems, but we don't really win until the finale.
>>47908339
Please see the part about objective and subjective goals.
>>47908390
Yeah, but that's an objective goal. There is a problem, and you fix it. You catch the bad guy, or clear the good guy's name, or sneak into the bad guy's fortress and steal his secrets, or some shit like that, and in the end, you catch the bad guy who's responsible for everything. Bog standard entertainment fare.
>>47908425
Why waste time and not just B-line it for the bad guy. Same for those shit CSI shows and what not. They purposefully shutter that shit as a time dump so its not even productive. A literal waste of time.
>>47898688
>has never played any sport
Truly gay
>>47908224
>What are the Red Wings until very recently
>>47908716
Literally no one except for a 5-6ish year timeframe which doesn't make them rank as "good" given hockey's lifetime.
>all these people with parents bullshitting them
See, I've never had that problem.
My problem has always been GET A FUCKING JOB OLD MAN and STOP STEALING MY SHIT WOMAN
Ex-hippies are terrible people, even if they are your parents and you are obligated to love them.
And they are unable to enforce a ruleset to save their lives, goddamn, what I was or was not allowed to do as a child varied by day, whether maw was on her period, or if they were drugged.
>>47908448
>he doesn't appreciate legwork
It's the only way to make sure things go smooth.
>>47897238
Alright son... but I'm putting you in boxing or something on Monday. You need to balance this out with... something.
>>47909474
>getting to learn the dempsi roll
He will never know why I am making engine noises while trying to punch guys.
>>47909503
Maybe rugby instead.
>still living with your parents
>>47909528
>not living with your parents, having a fulltime job, and supporting your doddering old pappy and mee-maw
>>47909544
>not being able to afford a retirement home
You're really dropping the ball here.
>>47896632
>if the story ends with a good ending you won
that wasn't hard
>>47909552
They don't want to do that.
>>47909565
And you're going to let them hold you back?
Basically, by making something so cool or interesting happen that you'll want to brag about it. And you'll be solving mysteries and planning strategy, too, so getting those right is a win.
But if you really want to put a number on it, here's your XP - and you'll also be using that to get new tricks for your dude - and your gold. More is better.
>>47909528
Welcome to every single generation until the 1950s.
>>47909580
Anon, I'm not some randroid.
>>47909901
Is that a yes I hear?
>>47909922
You're not very good at this.
>>47909930
And you're not very good at answering yes or no questions. It's pretty astounding that you've managed to fuck that up.
>>47909948
congratulations!
>>47909580
Look mate, just because your daddy diddled your butthole doesn't mean that our parents are shit too. Some of us actually care about them and let them stay with us because we want them in our lives.
>>47910092
anon, don't interact with the edgelord.
>>47910092
>the only reason one wouldn't want their parents in their life 24/7 is because they got raped as a kid
Don't you have any goals of your own anon? Things that you want to achieve, things that you want to try? Things that you can't do with mommy and daddy breathing down your neck? Do you not even desire your own personal space?
>>47909474
What the fuck are you on about, dad, I'm already learning Muay Thai.
I mean, yeah, sure, most of people enjoying RPGs are overweight fucks who lead an unhealthy lifestyle, but I personally believe into "healthy body, healthy mind" paradigm.
>>47896632
It's about the journey, not the destination.
>>47897453
So if 2 players are tied for last, that means one of them doesn't win?
>>47896632
Well, much like in life, you set the goals your character strives for. And you win by having your character accomplish those goals in the game.
If my character's goal is to conquer a country and rule it, I win if I accomplish that without dying.
If my character's goal is to get revenge on the six fingered man who killed my father, I win if I accomplish that.
If my character's goal is to help the other characters achieve their goals, I win if more than half of them succeed.
>>47910315
Tfw when all your gaming since 2001 has been highly sandbox, and all the super linear railroady sounding things you hear from other people sound strange and alien.
>>47909405
This is what i loved about my childhood.
Here's a $50 for the next 3 days, have this house key, be in school tomorrow, get C averages in at least all classes, B-A's get me $5 per class for the quarter. Oh and don't do hard drugs.
I spent everyday and night outside doing shit and didn't have to deal with angst or anger towards authority as i had literally everyway possible without a car to burn off steam.
>>47909523
LaCrosse. We'll beat the weak out of him or he'll die trying.
>>47910193
>my own personal space
I own 300 acres and have 2 2-story houses, a rambler and like 5 trailers on it. I mostly hunt for giggles cause i'm native and on a rez but there ya go. They get the house on the far corner near the road and i get the rest.
Who knew getting into investing at age 15 would pay off?
>>47910489
I own 300 acres and have 2 2-story houses, a rambler and like 5 trailers on it.
Okay, you get a pass. Clearly, you having your parents live with you is not going to get in the way of the rest of your life.
>>47910209
You say Muay Thai, but I hear Krav Maga. The modern Jewish art of having an edge without a knife.
>>47910451
Not all of us get to be privately educated, Mister anon.
>>47910289
They both got the least, so they both win
>>47910559
I went to shitty public schools that had a 4 block complex that got 30 police visits a day and 2 school bomb threats per year.
Every single place has a LaCrosse team within driving distance just google it. Hell schools often recruit randoms with promise cause they NEVER get enough volunteers.
You win by achieving your character's objectives while staying in character
>>47910595
Oookay, anon.
>Pic related, is it your teacher?
Winning isn't the point. The point isn't to win and make someone feel bad but have both parties have a fun time. Fun is the ultimate objective. I don't require the pleasure of superiority to feel a sense of accomplishment. I get that by having me and my friends work together and through the companionship of our friendship.
>>47910650
Only if its a child beating desert storm vet who couldn't spell "adventure" under the mask for home room or blacks for the rest minis an asian for math and physics.
>>47910675
Minus*. Damn autocorrect trying to be the creepy GF finishing my sentences.
>>47909503
I found that entire series very amusing.
>>47896632
"I either have to score 5 scenario points by destroying their objective and controlling a certain area of the map. Or I can just kill their warcaster and that ends the game."
I don't know what you guys are talking about, but "football" is gayer than futbol.
>>47907420
"Gambling" doesn't actually require dice. You can actually place bets on any given event without a definite outcome.
Besides, actually catching someone using a digital dice roller is a bit like catching someone looking at porn on their phone.
>>47910783
Do you have any supporting evidence? Burden of evidence and all that.
>>47904180
Scandinavians take hockey seriously too
>>47899020
You obviously don't know anything about football. It's sufficient to say you don't like it, you don't have to make yourself look like a dumbass in the process.
>>47897428
No, maybe YOUR locker room was full of faggoty tendencies.
>>47909552
>He lets orderlies and punks watch his parents.
>He pays out the ass for shitheads to abuse his folks.
>He doesn't want his folks sharing their wisdom while he has kids.
TOP KEK, anon confirmed for being a horrible child and doomed to live in his parents shoes when he gets old.
>>47910209
Lol edgelord shitheel lel
>>47898479
My old man plays golf with a handicap of about 18. I always ask him if he's won, he always says it's just for fun, and it's a literal competitive sport.
I don't know what to take away from this anecdote.
>>47915503
That he's playing a Sport for fun. Golf isn't competitive inherently anymore just like hockey games and tennis games can be played for fun. Unless specifically stated ahead of time that the game is competitive it is now, infact, assumed to be for fun or "casual".
>>47907538
>Be me
>Be engineering student
>Be Shadowrun game master
>Be sponsored by Navy
I hear there is more of a DnD culture over there, which is gonna take some getting used to. But in my case this is true.
>>47915582
I know anon, I'm just being a dick to the old man
>>47915666
Well shit, satan. I just do that by being better at golf than he is.
>>47915635
Can't tell you how many people i know that went in straight and came out gay in the navy. I thought you guys shut that shit down.
>>47896632
We win once the party finishes exterminating all life on the planet.
>>47909552
>putting your old folks in a home
>>47909580
>so pathetic he can't even achieve his life goals with the two most supportive persons in his life being there to hang out with him
>>47909552
>not letting them die in glorious combat
>not able to ascend to Valhalla
>not allowing them access to Einherjar
>>47898456
No, rugby.
>Makes a big deal about how they don't wear pads.
>Has a shit-ton more rules than handegg because otherwise these faggots would all fall over dead.
Biggest posers in the fucking world.
Uh...I'm sorry, what was this thread about again?
>>47921824
OP expressing his love for cock.
>>47896632
"Dad, why do you do this to me? I asked you not to wear the fursuit just this one time."
I explain the win conditions of the game.
Jesus christ people, how hard can it be.
>>47898409
I was dead suspicious of a guy who served more than 30 years in the army when he mentioned "We didn't need women."
Come to think of it even though he has kids he's called me pretty before and made lots of gay jokes.
I think someone I know is stealth gay.
So footbaw is like that too? I stopped playing rugby (I'm a yurop) when I was quite young because I didn't gel with those types. They'd get angry to the point of fists fights over shit like "You stepped on my foot with your cleats!" or "You spear tackled me!" (FYI that pussy was straight bullshitting he just happened flip over when I was dumping him) and other super common errors that come with playing a full contact sport.
Actually what the fuck I remember one guy pulling my boxers down after training one day and there was an uproar of laughter in the changing rooms and I got the nick name "Floppinator" because apparently my junk flopped around when he was bending bown behind me to pull my underwear down...
Guys, are Football/Rugby players and soldiers gay?
What the fuck, I need to rethink so many people I know.
Another thought, a rugby player the same age as me I know, never had a girlfriend...
>>47922296
that's all well and good but
how do you win?
>>47897337
"all i have is a bunch of body parts to some Forbidden one."
>>47912917
>old people
>wisdom
Old people are still people, thus they are still liable to be anything from a living saint to Donald Trump.
>>47910209
>look at me i am so much better than all of you fatasses LOL I am learning Meme Thai
Want some sugar for that high horse, faggot?
>>47912917
>retirement home is a sniff
Nigga you what?
Do you even know what a retirement home is? Independent living with a community of comparably aged adults with the resources to hold community events and have an active social life. Shit's fucking cash.
>2016
>not having a parent who played DnD
All of you are confirmed oldfags
>>47924479
Stop being buttblasted, engaging in physical activity is a normal thing to do.
I don't care what you do - run around the stadium, or have sex until your blankets are dripping with sweat, but there is no reason not to stay fit.
>>47925015
>no reason not to stay fit.
Yeah except these anons on /tg/ are somehow either the fattest fatass or the skinniest skeleton I swear to god it's still jarring whenever I meet an anon from this board over skype
>>47925034
Because they lead unhealthy lifestyles, either out of sloth, or simply inability to do so.
Like, okay, there is no need to restrict yourself - you can shove all the food you want inside yourself, but you should work out afterwards. Otherwise, there is no point to eating that much.
>>47922296
>apparently my junk flopped around
It would probably have been weirder if it was hard.
>>47925081
>not getting hard in a locker room
How else will you have penis fencing competitions
>>47925109
>touching other men's dicks
>allowing other men to touch your dick outside of a medical examination
No wonder you're a fucking faggot.
>>47925123
>not building team trust to the point where you are comfortable enough around them to penis fence
>>47925157
>trust
>having anything to do with willingness to perform downright homosexual acts
Pick one and only one.
>>47925123
>Not allowing other men to touch your willie
That's because you're insecure anon.
>>47925171
>not having trust between everyone that it's not homo because we didn't fuck each other
You are the true fag here anon
>>47925190
>>47925197
>if you don't do this obviously gay thing, you're gay and in the closet about it!
Fucking faggots, you deserve your AIDS.
>>47925224
Weird how you're so quick to call everyone else a fag when you're the one that's butthurt.
>>47925245
>weird how you're so quick to call a spade a spade
