Prior Bread: >>47883590
Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/vrqYhnpu
>>47895707
>>47895751
>>47895765
>now with 90%+ less typos.
OC from previous thread
So now that London turned out to be bitchy Siscon Queen's territory, which Phantasmal city are you going to pick?Probably Damascus for all that delicious brown.
>>47895802
8/8
>>47895900
Only in one version
>>47895707
>Ren
Is that short forBrenda?
Which cyoa has the most retarded gods?
Pic related
>>47895802
Magnificent.
>>47896138
That bitch goddess one.
I think this is OC from a couple threads back
>>47896176
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DECIDE BETWEEN A COLLECTION OF KNIVES AND 2 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS?!
>>47895707
Oh man, I was waiting for this so long but never made a build for it. And you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to make three of them. Because spending time rationally is for chumps.
>Build #1
>Waifish Orphan: Miranda
The young option is always the best option.
>Mammal: Raccoon
Yeah, it's this build. I know I can get a substitute in Mage Hand, but I'm going for the least overt magic possible.
>The Alleyways: Urban Whispers
Always a useful trick to have. Also, Ren, you can ignore this if you want, but I'm of the opinion that The Alleyways should grant urban familiarity by default, rather than just leaving it to Face in the Crowd.
>Perks: Pickpocket, Speedy, Telepathic, Charming
Pickpocket is in the raccoon job description, and from what I've read of the perk, it's not literally stealing - more just sneaking around and being subtle. I'd take Mage Hand, but then I'd just feel dirty mixing it with Pickpocket.
>Jobs: Scout/Spy
I mean, I'll do anything really just because I've got nothing better to do and I don't much feel like eating wriggling crayfish or trash, but I'm best at wandering around, above, and below the city to feel its pulse.
>Events: The Northern War
Yes, I'm aware that's for Wandering Mistress, but let me finish. Fulheim launched a blitzkrieg attack, pushing deeply into Xerian country, and all the way to Ambition City. With the city under siege, everything's under threat. Madame Circe's showing strain under the mass of luck charms she's placed over her orphanage and some of the surroundings, and the archmages of the college have a mighty barrier in place...but it can't stop everything. Eventually, the siege breaks. The Fulhiem army marches in, thoroughly defeating everything. The city is falling...and then, alone, one little girl stands before them. One little girl with a scared raccoon bristling next to her, determined to try and keep her alive. One little girl who smiles softly and closes her eyes...
(cont)
>>47896216The city awoke.
The enemy had beaten past its walls. The enemy was hurting its people. The city was not too concerned by this; people died all the time. But this girl...this girl had spoken to it. This girl was the city's friend. And now she said that the enemy would kill the city, and would kill her.
The city was filled with rage.
The ground underfoot cracked and rose as giant, serpentine water pipes struck from the earth. Lampposts uprooted themselves, swinging their fiery limbs wildly. Cobblestones rose up into animal- and human-like shapes, their enraged bellows the clamor of footsteps and city noise. The soldiers fled, but the roads twisted into dead ends. The soldiers fought, but their weapons skated off stone. The soldiers threw down their spears and begged for mercy.
The city gave them none.
>Melodramatic, I know. I just couldn't resist it. It seemed too good not to do. And Miranda never cast a single spell - she just talked to the city.
Guys, is art connoisseur genie cyoa still a thing or not? It's been a while since a saw a fresh one. That's sad, it was great.
On a different note, is there anything interesting similar to slut life/sissy life/magic pills cyoas?
>>47896385
>Guys, is art connoisseur genie cyoa still a thing or not?
Might be a while until the next one, Beri's been busy with Branching Hearts lately.
>On a different note, is there anything interesting similar to slut life/sissy life/magic pills cyoas?If you're okay with the only drawback being that everyone thinks you're a girl (and how wordy the whole thing is), you might like Girly Curse.
>>47895802
A masterpiece.
>>47896541
>>47896385
beri might be done with it he did over 20+ genie one's man, it can go on forever but a well only has good water for so long.
>>47895784
Free Spirit
>there When you're needed
Layabout
>less Just do what's
Lure
>assault Your master's enemies
Protector
>Using what abilities
Either a comma after angel, continuing the sentence, "Angel, using ..." or just change 'Using' to 'Use'.
Scout
>things, and, more likely than not, ...
things and, more often than not, ...
Spy
>innocuous
inconspicuous
>small your
small that your
>you master
your master; consider changing that last sentence to something along the lines of, "You can collect and share information with your master that they would otherwise be unable to obtain. Those eavesdropped on will be none the wiser.", or something to that effect.
Valet
>life, and
life and
>get done, within
get done. Within
>whether it
Whether it
EVENTS
>will be judged, life ... choices, and ...
judged; life ... choices and
>bond with your master
Consider: strengthen the bond with your master
>seperated by age categories and locations
Consider: "segregated by your master's age, as well as locations"; if not, seperated -> separated
>with thier own
their
>use thier magic
their
>in any way. But
way. You may (no need for a 'but' here.)
Forbidden Love
>streets, another
streets, and another
>But the animal they were with. A familiar. A mage from the opposing school.
I said to myself, "what the hell is this saying to me?" A re-wording here is recommended.
>but how would you ever get this to work?
Consider: but how could you help make this work?
Secrets Below
>the clique
What clique? Consider: a clique
Northern War
>Winter is coming...
Along with a lawsuit from HBO.
>Fulheim, and the
Fulheim and the, or Fulheim--the war
>now the tension breaks
Consider: now tensions have reached their breaking point and ...
Labyrinth
>and his rule ... Xeria.
Consider: and came to call the world Xeria, after his wife. (You don't need to include "his rule"--calling him a God-King is a fairly good indicator that he was the one ruling.)
1/2, for page 4.
>>47896385
>is art connoisseur genie cyoa still a thing or not
I sure as hell hope not. It always inflated the thread and was almost always mediocre.
>>47896563
I don't know it, unfortunately.
>>47896620
it was pretty loved by the community and every single picture had somethiing pretty unique to it and builds were always fun and guessing before hand and seeing what you got was the best type of mystery we've ever had.
but there's always gonna be someone who disagree's.
>>47895707
>Master
Wizard, aspiring student
I bet I'll have to take CARE OF HIM
>Species
Avian THE CAWCAWCROW
>Focus
Universal Telekinesis
>100 Lbfs
>0
>0
Not having spell inside me is sad, on the other hand I can punch people or even DUAL WIELD SWORDS AND FIGHT WITH THEM LIKE A FOOKEN LEGEND, none will mess with this familiar
>Perks:
Detector
Pickpocket
Speedy
Telepathic
>Job
Sage
The boy will be great mage and I'll make sure of it.
>Event
A forbidden love
So you're saying there is a chance he won't be forever alone? I'm in
It's said that boy will take care of his familiar, but for me it seems as I'll have to take care of him. Help him study all kinds of magic, protect him from dangers that for sure will happen, acquire wealth by stealing all the time and make sure he won't turn into cold lonely wizard even if it means to help him win a heart of a young witch.
>yfw box wine said next update would be released today
>>47896670
I just think it's sad that the last one ever made was an explicit furry fetish one.
Posting the CYOA that will soon be anally raping everyone.
>>47895816
Personally, I don't see how Queen Caliburn is a bitchy sison. Sure, she's an overprotective older sister, and she got the throne by coming out of the queen's vagina, but she legit seems to be trying to do her best.
>>47896698
>>47896704
That was made by someone else, though.
>>47896721
Anyone knows what happened to that martial arts cyoa that had one page and lots of autists picking shunpo + shadow arts or something? Was the second page ever released? Will it ever be released?I just want closure.
>>47896736
>>47896760
>>47896760
Damm, I really want to corrupt Apachai.
>>47896700
I said probably
>>47896779
>>47896785
This kitten will die if you don't though. He has a very special, sad disease. Very, very sad.
>>47896799
>>47896785
I believe in you, Wine-sama.
>>47896824
>>47896785
There's a reason I said mine wouldn't be done for weeks.
>>47896850
>>47896861
Too busy furiously fapping to all those monsterboys?I don't blame you.
>>47896864
>>47896878
>>47896601
>>47896689
>Implying the kinetic force of any sword clashing against one you hold won't exceed the equivalent of 100 lbs
>Implying that if you get caught stealing you won't get your master in trouble
>Implying a big creepy carrion bird is any good for winning a witch's heart
>>47896891
New page.
>>47896784
THAT'S NOT NICE... but you can...
>>47895784
Labyrinth cont.
>Which were so...
Consider: His treasures were so plentiful that some are still uncovered to this day.
High Pass
>formed when ... ago.
Consider: formed when the continents collided, creating the mainland millennia ago. (2 n's, not 1.)
>world. And
world and, or: Its highest peaks...
>hold rare herbs
Consider: are home to [exotic/uncommon/unsual] herbs...
>whose pelts and parts are great reagents.
whose pelts are very valuable and their physiology can yield rare reagents.
>Who knows what could be up there. But your master is going to find out...
Consider: Who knows what the Cold Wastes offer? Your master may soon find out...
The Great Storm
>are the primary responders ... hurricane, and ... out
meet the great hurricane, sailing out ...
>storm comes once more
storm beckons once more (because 'beckons' is a wizardly word and you know it.)
Duel Century
>strongest mages
Consider: greatest mages (unless there are muscle wizards. I can dig those finely sculpted, cosmic-shattering spellcasters.)
>One of ... from
Consider: A grand mage from
>from the opposing
from an opposing
>to be here
Where? A part of the summit; "to be at the Summit."
Trapped Beyond
>of course. But now
course, but
...Don't squander it.
>and others to meet,
and many to meet
I offered up some aesthetic changes to avoid word redundancies. The cyoa looks good and it's fun to make builds for. I'll look over pages 1-3 if you have any interest.
>>47896901
Don't worry, you're doing good. Typos are the product of having worked hard for a very long time. Thanks so much for adding the hard-mode challenge, I may have gone a little overboard with writefagging it.
That said, I think Mage Hand needs a nerf to be touch-based. As written, "arm's length" could be impossibly out of reach for you as an animal, and an inconspicuous animal with telekinesis would be a nightmare to try to defend against. With a nerf to touch-based, they at least have to wonder why the raven's sticking a wing into a pocket, even if the gold piece does magically "stick" to the wing.
47885363
Grey - 12in/decent girth.Teleport to any location on planet. Remote view any location in galaxy. Transgalaxtic telepathy.
Do this first. 12" now.
Purple - Doubles in Size and you can make women orgasm in seconds after pre. More attractive, never bathing, no working out.
So 12" becomes 24"? Neat. (I assume it works despite everything.) Also make the girl that was brought over orgasm in seconds. (Who cares about her looks when yoyu can use a magic dick to take out the trash.)
Deep Blue Hole - Futa +50% Dick Size
36"in now. Also Futa.
Blue - Blue skin, Survive Deep Underwater/Space. 50% Dick Size; 4'0"
(So giant dicked Futanari Asari lookalike? Neato.)
>>47896912
>Multiversal viewing
Because it's strong as fuck.
>Major Creation
Because it's abusable as fuck.
ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT EVIL TO CLAIM I DONT WANT GODHOOD?!Unless I could be an Eternal...
Short Cyoa I made yesterday, Thanks to Chen poster for the correctionsorry for the kuso drawing
>>47897056
Oh, and I forgot: I pick Tremor because he looks the swolest.
>>47896215
>take collection of knives
>sell it to get 3 billion dollars
>buy new set for 1 bil
> rinse and repeat
>infinite munmuns
>>47896215
Pick Matea Tekla and get a nearly perfect wife, 2 billion fucking dollars and all the knives you could ever want. Literally no downsides.
You could also just pick psionics, the only correct option, and laugh at all the inferior muggles.
>>47896180
All three of those really. In my mind it goes exactly how I like it to, and I can take that mental image with me everywhere. Nice images in the CYOAs do help. I'm a mental image person I guess, not a visual person.
>>47896973
I guess lavender hole. Perfect memory and learning. I can now have my huge futa dick taste nice and have women clamoring to suck/kiss it. Whee.
>>47897067
You should expand on this and make it glorious.Abused and abandoned are both perfect backgrounds for a MC who gets "adopted" by a martial artist, and makes you his student. Just like in my mangas.
>>47897067
>Short Cyoa
you can say that again.
Abused
Clara
We going /ss/
Posting the CYOA that will soon be anally raping everyone.
>>47895816
Personally, I don't see how Queen Caliburn is a bitchy sison. Sure, she's an overprotective older sister, and she got the throne by coming out of the queen's vagina, but she legit seems to be trying to do her best.
>>47897067
I love your artstyle. Have you ever considered making a gay romance comic on Smackjeeves?
>>47896909
>he doesn't know that in sword fight it's important to never clash against enemy sword, as it severely degradates your sword, but to push sword to side
>implying it's easy to connect random stealing from around the city by a black crow to one boy
>implying the bird needs to ever get in spotlight beside appearing "as regular messaging bird" who brings her letters from him, while in the shadows build a grand plot how those two should "accidentally" meet more than one time
Surprised there is no CYOA based off of innawoods
http://innawoods.net/
>>47897067
Very cool, Hibiki. By the way, do you remember where I ended up on changes to page 3 of Strange New World?
>>47896689
Are youthe forbidden love?
>>47897067
>sorry for the kuso drawingYour draws aren't shit, mine are.
>>47897136
I HAVE MANY ABANDONED COMIC ON MY IMGUR
till the this very day i still have no guts to post webcomic online
>>47897144
after the mini minigun Mac
>>47897109
I don't plan to but if anyone is willing to make an expansion for it, i'll be happy to draw the adopter and the adopted only
>>47897183
same ;__;
>>47896745
Guy said he would work on it if there was interest. That's all I know.
>>47896912
Wait, so if we give the hourglass to death, we end up turning into a god? What if we don't want to be a god, and just want to keep on traveling the world, or go to God's realm heaven and worship him?
>>47897214
>same ;__;Stop the cries or I show you my shit draws.In a lewd CYOA.
>>47897140
>Implying you can exert enough force to knock away a heavy piece of metal with a fuckton of momentum, especially when using a strange new ability instead of part of your body
>implying the masters don't have some way to recognize you as the boy's familiar and can't outright recognize you
>I'll give you that one
>>47896912
These are terrible. Are you about done?
>>47897158
No, I amgrumpy "old" crow who builds elaborated plan
>>47897056
The problem with godhood in this context is that it results in you being imprisoned in a single realm, locked up forever.
>>47895707
Well, I did this two editions ago but it's good so I'm doing it again. Things are staying mostly the same. I'm still going with a witch, with the truer way of magic. And I'm still staying with the Wandering Mistress, the one who is neither bound by her betters, nor too exalted to enjoy life. My species is still a raven, wisest of birds.
>>47895751
Still mind and still memory lapse.
>>47895765
Considered going improved, but there isn't really much benefit to it and all of them have something I don't really want.. So I'll stay with free choice.
Detector, Guide, Speedy, Pickpocket
Useful at getting info and doing useful things that a human or other earth-bound thing isn't good for.
>>47895784
Scout, I guess. I'm built to both scout and spy, and I'd like to do both and they're kind of the same thing.
High Pass seems like a good adventure.
>>47897214
You have nothing to be afraid of. You have the gift. Just looking at your characters I can already imagine an extensive yuri and/or yaoi storyline.My fujoshi eyes never lie: they see the truth in all things.But really, your art is fine... even for a filthy hetero comic.
>>47897248
Giving the hourglass to Death wouldn't result in godhood.
>>47897251
do it
>>47897272
Sorry you don't like it. Just curious, which cyoas did you make?
>>47897306
Oh no, you are only given absolute dominion over a single realm and a host of Angels? How ever shall you survive!
>>47897224
>>47897142
Why would you need to make a CYOA when you can just play innawoods?
>>47897427
do it
>>47897427Since you're not Hibiki, I'll just tell you the name of it.Girly Curse.
>>47896957
>I offered up some aesthetic changes to avoid word redundancies. The cyoa looks good and it's fun to make builds for. I'll look over pages 1-3 if you have any interest.
Please do. I don't at all have an eye for proofreading it seems, lol.
>>47897479
it doesn't look that bad, reminded me of flash animation,
now pick a number anon, 1 or 2?
Is Highlander Ciri now?
Is the related CYOA from that thread done already?
>>47897523
>now pick a number anon, 1 or 2?1. It's the loneliest number.
>>47895707
Aspiring Student
Mammal (Honey Badger)
Speedy
Sturdy
Resistant (Fire)
Freedom
Necromancy: Zombified
Job: Protector
Secrets below adventure
Basically TANK EVERYTHING my master doesn't need to stupid fighter
>>47895751
Gotta love the guildwars 2 ability icons
>>47897552
pls no laugherinohttp://imgur.com/a/TZyXG
>>47897559Asura Best Race.
>>47897552
2 is the loniest since the number one
>>47897224
>Power Level:
-Legend: A veteran of the War of Goants, I saw comrades die around me until I was the only one left. I became a whirling dervish, killing all the Giants in my path, and ripping the head off of their city sized God-King, Colossus. When I had killed them all, I rested. But the deaths had taken their toll on my psyche, so I ran from my past and hid.
>Specialization:
-Big Game Hunter: I have experience from the war of Giants.
>Powers: (30)
-Strength 3 (23)
-Endurance 3 (13)
-Improved Lung 1 (12)
-Precision 1 (7)
-Beast eye 2 (4)
>>47896176
Mashangshi seems like a good place to be a dilettante.
Psionics, specialized in mind reading and control.
Small arms, for personal defense. Software and robotics to understand what makes the world work.
Money, housing twice (plus the one for free) and a second education. Education skills: Social and another Software. Finally, pistols. There's lots of tempting things here. Skipping companions because I"m not into that.
>>47897264
>heavy
swords weight ~2-4 lbs, not 10-20, the Zweihänders weight 7 lbs AT MAX
>fuckton of momentum
the trick is too take blow on angle, so the force on my blade would not exceed 100 lbfs while gradually wear down the momentum
> especially when using a strange new ability instead of part of your body
I haven't said that it won't need practice, none can deny my dream of fencing crow
>implying the masters don't have some way to recognize you as the boy's familiar and can't outright recognize you
They better be sneaky wizards, because I can detect magic and would avoid such places, stealing from non-magic defended filthy-rich with power of telekinesis. Maybe stealing is too small scale. Maybe I should wear a mask and rob store with an armed crossbow
>>47897578
Funniest
For best Norn still goesDelicious Giant Woman
>>47897577
>pls no laugherinoThe fact that you can even make something as long as that is proof that you are the better one.
>>47897637
popuko a best
>>47897461
>>47897479
never mind, no curse turning me into a girl body
>>47897654
but it was abandoned, if you would've picked 2 you'll see a much older comic and much more kuso than that. i've always had good idea and abandon it later often
>>47897711
>i've always had good idea and abandon it later oftenI usually abandon mine before I even start.
>>47897671
It's pronounced popopuptepepicpic.
>>47896216
Time for Build 2.
>Wandering Mistress: Reina
Time for something a little different.
>Type: Mammal, domestic cat
Generic black cat. Reina used to live with Madame Circe before she grew up and took a job of her own, and the good Madam can be a bit of a traditionalist sometimes.
>Focus: The Winds, Tease the Wind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83gkYEP5VY4
>Perks: Guide, Mage Hand, Wand User, Charming
Charming and Mage Hand are too useful not to use. We'll be moving around a lot, so Guide is useful, and Wand User is just another too-good-to-pass-up one.
>Job: Mascot
Well, given what we do, it's the only one that really fits. Sure, I help, but I can only help so much.
>Events: High Pass
Climb? Who needs to climb when you can FLY?
Pic related, it's us.
>>47897711
your drawings look cute, especially that abused child
>>47897577
Your comics need more memes. Memes are your forté. Embrace them.
>>47897762
I know, i'm just saying popuko is best girl
>>47897807
t-thanks anonI TOTALLY DIDN"T I like abused anime girl
>>47897214
Right-ho, onward we go.
GUNSHIFTER
>Secondary weapon
"Treated as a secondary weapon, the GUNSHIFTER analyzes and re-formats itself to the specifications of any medium-militant secondary weapon it scans."
>shapeshift to...
"It is fully capable of duplicating all effects and functions of any weapon scanned, as well as being compatible with each weapon's grade of ammunition."
"The change is not instant and requires time--the more complex the firearm, the longer it will take to match the weapon's specs."
DRONE LAUNCHER
>Primary weapon
"Treated as a primary weapon."
>shoot off...
"Fires compact drones that may be remotely operated. The drones may be used for surveillance or signal-jamming."
>drones are...
"Additionally, drones may be detonated remotely or set to self-destruct within a given duration of time. The explosion is modest, but lethal to those within close proximity."
BEATS RIFLE
>Primary weapon
"Treated as a primary weapon, the rifle utilizes hypersonic soundwaves [I'm getting better at making shit up] to disorient enemies."
>projectile can...
"Prolonged exposure to the soundwaves is capable of causing brain hemorrhaging, leading to death."
>dropping some...
"It also has the finest sound quality in the galaxy and is entirely capable of playing your favorite music with crystal-clear clarity."
AUTOCANNON
>super weapon
"Treated as a super weapon, this cannon fires devastating incendiary rounds at an extremely high rate of fire."
"It is also capable of burst-firing slug rounds that are capable of piercing the toughest armors in existence."
HELLFIRE
>Super Weapon
"Treated as a super weapon. The HELLFIRE has close, mid, and long-range capabilities."
>Primary fire...
>Secondary fire...
>Tertiary fire...
"For close-range engagements (and by default), HELLFIRE is capable of spewing molten lava at elevated temperatures. It is not very accurate, but functions well against groups of enemies."
1/?
>>47897861
I cannot think of either of these abominations in a sexual way.
>>47897878
i think i changed beats rifle to orchestra and rework the function but this is nice
>>47897931
there was a sexualize poputepipic i saw once
>>47897577
>http://imgur.com/a/TZyXGMalaysia-anon? Is that you?
>>47897861
>I TOTALLY DIDN"T like abused anime girl
In what way? There is nothing bad with liking to help abused anime girls
>>47897577
No lie, I honestly enjoyed it. I can't tell you anything other than that.
>>47897980
You mean this because this is what nightmares are made of?
>>47898100
yessir
>>47898111i've got a guro collection, only beaten up, amputated and stabbed. no scat, rape or skullfuck
>>47898146
Hey, me too. Only it also includes boys.
>>47898146
>guro, amputated and stabbed is okay
>rape is not
>>47897878
HELLFIRE (cont.)
"For mid-range engagements, the weapon emits a concentrated funnel of white-hot flame. The funnel is constant and can reach a considerable distance."
"For long-range engagements, HELLFIRE is capable of launching super-condensed fireballs that will incinerate nearly anything they hit. Upon impact, the fireball will also explode, significantly splashing the nearby area with extremely hot flames."
"Park rangers hate you and will attempt to kill you on sight."
BLITZKRIEG
>Super weapon
"Treated as a super weapon."
>Able to...
"Designed for one-may armies, BLITZKRIEG was made to mow down entire battalions in moments."
"This weapon fires both armor-piercing rounds and grenades at a rapid rate. This complementary union of munitions makes this weapon extremely effective against any enemy."
"It is quite heavy, even for a super weapon. Make sure the majority of your enemies are located in one direction."
2 IN 1 LED FLASHLIGHT
>flashlight with laser
"Flashlight modified with a laser sighting. May be used for marking targets for allies."
STUN GUN
>taze your
"Fires a weak volt of electricity at foes, momentarily disorienting them and causing involuntary muscle spasms."
SLAVE COLLAR
>collar that
"A collar capable of being affixed to a living organism. It is capable of self-destructing in the attempt of removal without its access key, or may be remotely detonated."
>comes with...
"Includes complementary handcuffs. The handcuffs do not have explosive capabilities."
>i bet...
"Additionally comes with a pamphlet entitled 'Positions'. You probably know what it's for."
NIGHT VISION (consider: GOGGLES, or BINOCULARS)
>grant vision...
"Provides wearer with dark-vision; you are able to see with perfect clarity in the dark. The lenses are adjustable for eyesight."
BALLISTIC SHIELD
>a very...
"A very durable shield. Capable of withstanding high-caliber rounds and explosives."
>>47897405
How does Envy have his powers denatured? Seems to me like there is no way to weaken them.
>>47896698
>>47896721
>>47896736
>>47896760
>>47896779
>>47896799
>>47896824
>>47896850
>>47896864
>>47896878
>>47896891
>>47896912
Nihilia
White Mage
Harry potter's world
Ravenclaw
-Defence against the dark arts
-Dark Arts
Best friend : Luna Lovegood
Item : Sword of Gryffindor
3 powers
Super strength, Tank, Healing Factor
Volunteer : Nightwing
Sensei : Akisame Koetsuji
Ah shit, there's a goddamn yokai blood in my system now, oh well...
Yokai's nature : Noderabo Yokai
ah finally...
DEATH AND WAR.....
Death Power : Undying
War Power : Super Soldier
right.... thanks for the power....and next world is... SHIT...RAILGUN? NICE.. WAIT WHAT? NO IMAGINE BREAKER? AH FUCK.
-Academy City
-Telekinesis (use this power to rip other people's heart, i guess you can call me "heart ripper" kek)
Next world is....DnD? AH NICE (but i don't understand about the domains and school, i think you need to fix this)
Paladin
Domains : Luck domain
Quests : Tarrasque, Orcus Rising
Nex- MAGNUS? HOLY SHIT RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BITCHES....
ok before i continue, i always leave my "companions" in their original world, so i only with them when i visited their world. (like Luna Lovegood in hp universe, Nightwing in DC/Marvel universe)
So next world is....Log Horizon? does that mean I'm a player? nice.
Class : Assassin
Subclass : Berserker (Health stealing attacks are useful)
Next world, Chaos.
Traits :
-Alpha Male
-Altered Eyes
-Retractable Claws
Ability : Mana Cancel
Next world is....Supernatural world? Ah nice
Ring : Ring of death (60 seconds is enough to use my Avada Kedavra on Magnus)
Artifact : Angel Blade
World : Ratchet&Clank, The Dark Tower Continuum, Dune universe (hopefully i'll get a lot of spice Melange)
my bracer take sub-zero's cryomantic abilities
2 powers strip from Magnus:
Temporal Shift
Akashic Retribution.
Fuck you evil of the firsts, i'll be a godhood instead.
>>47895784
Okay two things. First in the events green block you misspell 'their' two times as 'thier'
Secound: I feel the current job system doesnt have enough space to fulfill your purpose as a familiar. Most builds cannot be categorized as only one and i believe it would be beneficial if you could choose one Major and one Minor job. Your freedom would be bigger and you could make a higher variety of build.
>>47898146
>yessir
>Australia and Canada sense a disturbance in the force.
>>47897878
DEPLOYABLE TURRET
>Able to...
"A stationary turret, it may be deployed on nearly any surface."
"It is easy to relocate and may be remotely controlled. By default, the turret uses quality sensors to detect and assess any moving organism or machinery."
"It may be assigned allies and nonthreatening anomalies through genetic scanning. The turret will not engage those registered as ally or nonthreatening."
COMLINK WATCH
>enable long distance ... companion
Enables long-range ... companions.
GRAPPLING HOOK
>able to...
"Useful for scaling large structures, the hook is strong enough to carry heavily armored individuals. It cannot carry individuals who have power armor."
"If used competently, it may also be utilized in combat, allowing you to quickly zip-line from one area to another. As a last resort, it can also pierce lighter armors."
FIRST AID KIT
>used ... wound.
Used ... wounds.
"Additionally provides nano serums that allow for accelerated regrowth of lost physiologic features, such as limbs."
HIGH EXPLOSIVE GRENADE
>explode when thrown
"2 anti-matter grenades that, upon detonation, will completely erase everything within a 50-meter radius of the blast point."
"Make sure you and your allies are out of range. These grenades are not very forgiving."
INCENDIARY GRENADE
>Sprays out...
"Upon exploding, will unleash white-hot flames that will spread to a fairly large proximity."
SMOKE GRENADE
>spray out...
"Emits an extremely dense, black smog. It cuts of visibility entirely--infrared sighting will not detect anything in or past the smog."
"It can be lethal to inhale too much smoke."
FLASHBANG
>temporarily...
"Emits a blindingly bright, white flash and issues a deafening bang. An effective tactical choice against multiple enemies in close quarters, especially when used in tandem with breaching."
3/?
>>47898774
Is there a cyoa that completely changes tone midway?
>>47898801
>>47898829
>>47898861
>>47898824
Is this some sort of new shitposting?
>>47899017
Why? Most people are edgy enough to like PLOT TWISTS so why not a CYOA TWIST?
>>47895707
Any reason not to choose witch? They default care about you much more.
>>47897577
Your style reminds me of Mob Psycho 100.
I like that.
city mountain hold
skills mechanids, driving and psonics
items membership, mech and nanobots
companions matea tekla, venkat wash and hugo thacker
I have oc ready to post. Should I do it here or in the next thread?
>>47899257
Just do it now, no point in waiting. Thread is still pretty young.
>>47899257
Here. This thread's only partway done.
>>47899285
>>47899291
>>47895707
Really like this CYOA. I like how you cant be an übermensch here, and you are not even in the main focus. Its have a very different vibe from those other CYOA's.
Lets start building:
>Wizard - Aspiring Student
If im being thrown into a new world, best is if your master also young so you can fulfill your potencial with him, also school life is actually something we all experienced and can help with situations.
>Species: Skunk
They are omnivore, have built in defense mechanism, and looks cute in pictures. Might be a bit odd, but sure not as bad as someone who have a centipede curling around his/her neck
>Focus:
Divination: Danger Sense
Its more defensive than offensive, but i believe that figuring out what your enemy will do and discovering traps are a valuable tool.
>Perks
Charming,Detector,Sturdy Vanish
Charming usefull for day-to-day activities, Detector is for sensing anything unusual and react accordingly.
Sturdy and Vanish are more of a selfish choice, because I'm a coward and doesnt want to die again to get judged, so i can save my own skin by not getting killed by a stray firaball or simply cease to being a target.
>Jobs
Protector Major and Mascot Minor
I would be a protector not as a meat shield, but as a living security system which alert my master whenever something about to go hell. But while i believe those happening are kind of rare in a school, i would be there for him making more social and getting friends.
>Event
The King's Faire
Sure we would suck at dueling, not that horribly, but still not really an offensive build. The reason why i would choose this event is because i love festivals, and just roaming around playing games and eating those cheap carnival foods sounds the excellent pastime.
>>47899151
You will be living in hovels and the streets, compared to ivory towers and universities. Also, it seems like the men are more accepted in society.
>>47899151
You'll be with a dirty tree fucking whore. Imagine the worst part of Wiccans and Hippies, combined.
>>47899400
>>47899475
Well yeah, but i want to be a well loved familiar, not a tool or a slave. Little girl seems to treat you like a beloved friend or pet. Little boy may or may not.
>>47899496
She'll love you, sure. By feeding you free range vegan meals she cooked herself on her open fire pit using mossy wood and garbage.
>>47899511
This. The basic difference is that if you go with little boy you will be a well respected familiar living in society and if you go with little girl you will likely be living on the streets and hated by everyone.
deity nihila
class monk
>>47899655
Little boy: best choice by far
>>47897429
That's a terrible argument to make and you know it. You can criticize a creative effort without yourself being a creator. I don't need to be a good chef to know when someone shat in my soup. And these are pretty much just "Jumpchain, if it was even lower quality".
Box Wine any chance that the DLC will be out tonight or should I just start getting to work on other things instead of fucking around playing vidya?
>>47899685
Little boy is much better than little girl. He still loves you, just not obsessive like little girl
>>47897391
Good, then I'll tell the evil chick this.
"Suck my balls bitch, I'm giving this hour glass to death, cause she's my waifu."
>>47897878
Right, needed decaf coffee.
FORCE FIELD PROJECTOR (omit[?]: GRENADE)
>when used, ...
"A handheld, cohesive generator that projects a force-field with a 10-meter range. It is capable of deflecting most any attack, but only temporarily. You will be required to charge it."
PICK A MELEE WEAPON
>If you're not a fan...
Consider: "If you would rather get closely acquainted with your enemies, you may trade your secondary weapon slot for a melee weapon."
COMBAT KNIFE
>Classic melee
"The traditional pick for CQC engagements, the combat knife is easily concealed and practical for engagements with lightly, or unarmored, foes."
"The knife is ineffective against dense armors and will likely break on any puncture attempts."
POWER FIST
>Send your...
"Send your enemies flying, or rearrange their face for free."
CHAINSAW KATANA
>perfect
BLADE OF KLODAR
>Nothing special...
"Exquisitely sharp and durable, these dual blades were a gift from King Klodar, of the planet Klodar, back in your home universe."
"The blades are imbued with nanobites [I went there] and, as a result, are self-repairing and will recover quickly from fissures or breaks."
HIGH FREQUENCY MACHETE
>Slashing with...
"An artifact of a lost time, the machete was enchanted with an incredibly sharp blade. It is able to slice through nearly anything and do so on a molecular level."
>short and...
"It is ineffective for thrusting. Take care not to cut yourself on that edge."
ELECTRIC SWORD
>stun and...
"Able to send an electric pulse through an enemy when direct contact is made with the blade, sending them into convulsions and spasms."
>able to...
"Can also be used to shoot lightning bolts at nearby enemies. Exposure to water is inadvisable."
ADVANCED MELEE WEAPON
>have educated
have the Educated
4/5
>>47897067
Abandoned
>probably less trauma to deal with
Johnny.
>a guy from 4chan
>caring for an orphaned kid
>what could possibly go wrong
>i mean
>>47899773
Yeah i mostly choose the boy because that reason. If a girl have nothing but you, then she will turn your life a living hell. Also i dont want to be stuffed with birch bark and pebbles cause she had no money for proper food
>>47897067
>sarge buzzcut
OH GOD THAT NAME
>>47897067
Chenposter here.
>You were kicked out from the orphan
"Orphan" should be "orphanage."
>>47899151
>>47899400
>>47899496
>>47899655
et al.
I love the discussion that goes on for Familiar, you guys have no idea. Butterflies in the stomach, tho whole nine yards.
>>47896736
>speedforce = super senses
Is this a meme?
>>47899920
Yeah, but lewding the little boy is not as fun as lewding the little girl.
>>47898774
It's a good cyoa and all and, frankly I don't feel the curses are terribly imbalanced. I mean, sure, they're all major but, hey, they give you lots of points and these are super powers after all.
What bothers me about it is the lack of comfiness.
I mean, you are now part of this select circle of superpowered individuals, the majority of which will be trying to fuck each other over.
There is no option to opt out of the inevitable, ongoing shitstorm short of not playing the cyoa.
The only real options are either minmaxing like a munchkin which, frankly, really puts me off, or taking the options you're comfortable with and getting killed as soon as someone moderately powerful and somewhat psychotic comes across you.
Another thing that bothers me is that you can't just be really good at one thing. It really puts me off when you can't really build powersets that make sense and must, instead, just take a whole shitton of powers that make little to no sense together if you want to be an A-lister.
I think it would be a big improvement to the cyoa if the maker would add the option of investing points in powers with no upper limit.
Just my 2 cents.
>>47897878
PLASMA BLADE
>light like...
"A device capable of emitting superbly concentrated 'blade' of plasma that is capable of cutting through nearly anything."
>can cut, ...
"It is extremely lightweight, all of the mass residing in the 'hilt'. Wield it with caution."
POWERSAW GLOVE
>if punching...
"A modified version of the Power Fist, this glove retains all of the Fist's capabilities and is additionally able to utilize a razor-sharp saw for CQC."
>The saw...
"The saw blade may also be launched with excellent accuracy. May prove ineffective against denser armor."
"Has no equal when it comes to chopping trees and splitting wood."
THE HAND
Alright, you've got me here. I have no way of explaining how this one works on a technical level. It'll just be a grammar check and a little re-wording.
"Pressing the button on the Hand and making direct contact with an enemy will teleport that enemy to that last coordinates calibrated into the Hand's database."
"The Hand must touch a physical location to accept coordinates."
5/5, page 3 is done.
>>47895707
goat cyoa coming through
>>47895707
next best cyoa coming through
house slytherin
class potions class
best friend hermione granger
item time tuner
>>47900011
Its a unique idea, so you have a lot to discuss. Like will you be a battle familiar, a cutesy mascot or a helper in day to day life?
>>47900130
Slytherin>ravenclaw>gryphonshit>hufflepuff
>>47900164
True facts.
>>47900150
I should probably add a disclaimer to the CYOA that the views presented in the setting in no way reflect the view of the author, lol. Don't want people getting the wrong ideas about me.
>>47900164
No way. Hufflepluff is the best.
>>47900211
You could, but what are they gonna think bad about you?
>>47900228
HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHaha
>>47896216
>>47897763
You know, the nice thing about not having hands is not needing hands to do anything. No one could expect you to do any MANUAL labor.
It's not like the world has computers and things to entertain yourself with that require hands (books are easy enough without). The best use for hands in this world is getting into things like doors without large amounts of effort, but there are even better ways to do that, like Ghostwalk.
>Who needs to climb when you can FLY?
You can't fly. Well, I guess one could build a glider and then control the wind around it, but that's a little beyond you.
>>47896689
>>47897328
My corvus brothers. I go with crow myself because it's inconspicuous as possible. Perched on a nearby tree or rooftop no one would ever guess I'm anything out of the ordinary without spending magic on it, and that's assuming they see me at all. But more dignified than a pigeon and an extreme omnivore so food is never a problem whether I am provided for or not.
>>47900129
>>47899687
If you're unhappy with the quality of what you're given make something better yourself.
Reposting for feedback.
powers super strength, healing factor and telekinesis
volunteer red arrow
>>47900012
Where did I say that? If I did it was a typo.
>>47900277
>>47898824
this randomly turns to scifi when items are introduced.
>>47900240
A little concerned with the sexist overtones. Men have it better than women, etc. But this is /tg/, not tumblr, so I guess I should chill.
>>47900359
>If you're unhappy with the quality of a film, make a better film yourself. How dare you express your opinion?
Perhaps you should be advising the other anon to provide constructive criticism rather than be nasty to the author, no?
>>47900211
>>47900435
A setting doesn't have to reflect a person's real morality. Anyone that thinks it should needs to drown themselves in a used toilet.
>>47900399
>>47900129
is this the most recent version of this?
>>47900435
Like you said, it is not tumblr, we arent gonna get mad at you, cis patriarch pig.
>>47900369
I didn't like the purple text, but otherwise thought it was visually appealing.
The augments are all cool, but I don't like the point system. I don't like random stuff, or trying to self-diagnose my psychological problems. A number of the psychological problems seemed, to me, to overlap (like agoraphobia and anxiety).
I'll reiterate that the augments themselves are really cool.
>>47900525
not sure
>>47900077
Powergaming Space Emperor Build
Education
Military(Free)
I need to understand and experience life in the field, serving on the frontlines for a while before I lead a company of my own
Trader(Free)
An understanding of business will allow me to negotiate better contracts and run my operation more efficiently
Diplomacy(Free)
Public Speaking and the ability to understand the intentions of other people better, we will help with all sorts of political and business negotiations
Strategist(1600)
Learning the science of long-term strategy, applicable to all aspects of my operation
>Companions
>>Infantry/Security
Bleecia Rainfort(Free)- Squad leader, Heavy Weapons squad, has connections with the Fellians
Rakhall Culler(Free)- Ground Forces Commander, Trains and Leads our ground forces, has connections with the Fellians
Vega Hjort(Free)- Personal Bodyguard, Leads my guard detail
Bronze Torres(Free)- Squad leader, tactical squad, has mercenary connections
>>Scientists/Doctors
Nayu Keeplep(Free)- Main scientist, helps with hacking, repair and construction as well
Reiner Hoch(1200)- Main doctor, also a biological expert
>>Engineers/Ship crew/Pilot
Captain Abraham Hruckhan(1200)- Captain of the Dreadnaught, leads a bucaneer crew
Janine Cluffield(1500)- Pilots and Repairs the Navajo IV
Benjamin McGregor(1500)- Commands the Reliable Ol' Lemon, also serves as its engineer
Torn Farkus(1500)- My main Strategist, operates out of the carrier
>>Special
Great Yao(1500)- Pirate-King and early Antagonist, we will first build up our reputation enough to be hired on by him, then steal his carrier
>>47898135
glad you liked it
but still i'm insecure to post my webcomic somewhere
>>47898181
no, like brutally raped,
>>47897878
thanks Mac, time to get back to work.
>>47899156
I read mob psycho 100
that reminds me that haven't check the latest
chapter, thanks anon.
>>47899319
haha nice
>>47900009
thanks
>>47900582
>Ships
Armored Carrier(Free)
Drones(x30)(Free)(Reconaisance, Decoys)
Retired Dreadnought(Free)
Gatling(Point Defense Weapon)
Plasma(Anti-Ship)
Railgun(x2)(Anti-Ship, Orbital bombardment support)
>Vehicles/Mechs
Ol'Reliable Lemon(Free)
Gatling(x2)(Anti Infantry/Anti Air)
Railgun(x2) (Anti-Armor, Fortifications)
Navajo IV(Free)
Gatling(Anti-Infantry)
Cluster Rocket(Anti-Infantry)
Large Rocket(x2)(Anti-Armor Missiles)
Ironbill Dropship(2520)
Large Rocket(Anti Armor missiles)
>Items/Weapons/Armor
Vanguard Armor(Free)
Hydra Shotgun(Free)
Shield(Free)
Energy Baton(Free)
Modern Attire(Free)
Chart(Free)
Blink Implant(1000)
Holocomms(250)
System Jammer(500)
Assault Rifle(450)
>Citizen bonuses
>>New Minsk(Citizen)
>>>Chief- 30 raiders loyal to me
Gives me some initial base manpower, a good start but these guys will need equipment and training
>>>Red-Tongue- Fluent in Russian and have good relations with raider groups
Gives me connections on the surface as well as a pool of manpower to recruit from
>>Phrusto-fel
>>>Family- Fellians are friends for life, help is only a phonecall away
I would attempt to get Fellian contracts, and higher Fellian ex-military in my organization
>>>Conscripts- 10 Fellian recruits
In my service to the Fellians, I have been provided with a squad of recruits, they will need equipment and and training
>>47900631
I am the son of a wealthy trader who fell in love with a woman from New Minsk, giving me exposure to the culture of both that world and the greater universe.
My plan is to ultimately to become King of New Minsk, raising money and my own reputation and prestige through mercenary work.
The initial plan is to lay a trap to steal Yao's carrier, by hiring on with him as mercenaries/security force
Abraham Hruckhan will serve as my Fleet Admiral/Captain of the carrier while Farkus handles overall strategy.
They will be waiting on the path of Yaos ship in the dreadnought, disable the engines and jam their comms/sensors to board while the rest of my people take it from the inside.
Vega will seduce him and get him alone to take him hostage, while me, Torres and 10 of my best men take control of the rest of the ship. We will pretend to be preparing to repel boarders as we "secure" the bridge and key areas of the ship.
>>47900647
Ultimately my plan is either kill Yao outright or extort information/money from him and then kill him at a later time. Im hoping his crew will accept working under new management, but if they refuse I may just release a few out the airlock until the others change their minds.
After that I will use my Fellian connections to get mercenary contracts against the Satorcians, using the carrier as my mobile base while the dreadnought engages in trade interdiction operations, giving us a cut of the loot as privateers.
Ideally this along with the contracts will allow me to purchase the things on my wishlist and expand my companys services, taking contracts for example on titanfall or polyrot, killing titans and zombies respectively. It seems theres no shortage of work to go around.
Eventually I would take my wealth and army and conquer/rebuilt New Minsk.
I would be open to recruiting mercenaries and adventurers from all over to join my ranks. After New Minsk I would expand out to other colonies and undeveloped planets to take over. Anyone willing to follow some basic rules with some smarts and the willingness to work hard is welcome in my realm.
>>47897445
The problem might be that being trapped in a dominion you know everything about, and have all control over is boring as fuck. Have fun dealing with your wanderlust you probably grew over this time when you know everything your realm holds and you can't leave.
>>47900433
Winner master class reporting in. All other classes need not apply.Except Pond Scum. Those guys are infinitely usefulSlavemancers will be shot on sight
finally finished reading Branching Heart. Plan to finish Traveller sometime in 2018.
>>47898890
>>47898861
>>47898829
>>47898801
>>47898774
This is fucking amazing, but the allies suck balls.
maybe it needs something more? Like cliques to hang out with?
I don't know but, while an absolutely great idea it was less and less engaging from page 2
also: curses
>if sadist why not masochist?
>if no empathy why not hyperempathy?
>if drained why not hyper/adhd?
>if night person why not night blindness?
>neutered should not be a subset of asexual
Furthermore all curses just seem way too debilitating to be worth it. Like absolutely horrific. There's not a single one of them that would in any way be acceptable for the measly few points they award.
The homes should have different perks, not just fluff differences. Like: you get a companion free, or the police will find you more easily here, or the people might try to sacrifice you to K͘͟͡҉̛a͘͜ą̴̴̵j̛͘-̨̛͠҉Ŕ̕͟͞á̴̧͡k̶̡͟͝͠ą͜͞͠t̴͢͏͏̴h̶͜, or your powers are enhanced/limited, or there's a secret sex cult or witch convent or rumors of a killer with supernatural powers, or an abandoned government research facility where you may find Y if you pocked origin X, some allowing you to pick more powers, necessitating a number of curses, interacting with powers/curses iunno.
Just make it a bit more connected to your fate than just 'vaguely supernatural' stuff.
Same with allies.
Not all of them have to be somehow connected to supernatural things, but if they are they should at least have a bit more interaction than just vague fluff.
Even the most exceptional bios read fairly... neutral.
Make them more relateable, add quirks going in opposition to their main thing with some, etc. "might actually not be a girl after all" and "but maybe you can bring them around to the good side after all" is a pretty lazy example of this, but it adds some intrigue to the characters.
All in all everything here apart from your superpowers is basically stuff that could be explained away IRL. That makes for not too many imagined plot hooks.
>>47900532
I'm using paint.net which is utter shit at text editing. Was trying to convey the difference between the doctor, speaking, the narrator speaking and the author speaking. What would be a better colour? Just varying shades of grey?
Yea, I've gotten quite a bit of flak for the point system, but I don't want to just make it plain old point-buy. Do you guys reckon it needs a complete overhaul, or could I just tinker it into being acceptable?
Like you being a particularly suitable candidate so you start with 120% before the questions, shit like that. Maybe adding the option to bypass the questions entirely? Like "do you trust us to have done our homework on you, or would you like to make extra sure by answering these questions"
Also, most of the augments are hard sci fi. If you guys have any ideas for more that could be made to fit the overall feel, I'm sure the good doctor could be persuaded to do some research in those fields.
>>47900448
You do make a good point. Thank you.
>>47897513
Hey now, don't do yourself a disservice--someone else will be happy enough to do that for you.
Page numero uno
______
>shapes indistinguishable. All ...
indistinguishable, all ... (even for effect, the break offered by a period doesn't seem right.)
>they are. Some ... away. Others ... skyward. And ... flame, and...
they are; some ... away, others ... skyward, and ... flame and fall below. (CYOA AUTHORS HATE HIM. LEARN THIS 1 EASY TRICK TO CONDENSE 4 SENTENCES INTO 1.)
>your soul, the
your soul, and the
>There is no voice. There are no words.
voice, there
>memory from
Consider: memory of
>Wait, and
Wait and, or: Wait to
>thus risking what
Consider: chancing what; either way, 'thus' may go.
>and through them, ...
and, through them, ...
>or buy some time ...
Consider: or [merely] bide this extension of [your] time [further] before facing oblivion. [optional]
>consider. But
consider, but; consider; however; consider. Although, ... ; consider. The ... forever, though. (It is fine to start a sentence with 'but', but not this sentence.)
>voice, and you
voice and blearily blink ('You' can get dropped.)
>is much, much larger
is quite larger; is very much larger; is bigger; seems to be on a greater scale; is anything but 'much, much' larger.
>you're used to.
you had grown accustom to knowing; you remember; you recall; you once knew it to be.
>feel... Excitement?
Lowercase e is appropriate.
>You're breathing again,
Perhaps: Your breathing has steadied
>heartbeat slows ... pulses.
Consider: heartbeat is slowing, or: heartbeat as slowed
>again, it asks
again, asking for
>You're you're you're you're you're
It was around this point that I realized just how often the contraction was used. Since I'm just offering cosmetic fixes to sentences & grammar checks, I may recommend you try 'you are', 'you are not', 'you aren't', and other variations to break up redundancies. No need to get fancy, but it doesn't hurt to know a few ways of saying something.
1/?
>>47897224
>Powerlevel
Legend 10x
>Specialization
Dragoon
>Powers
Stealth Rank (1)
Beast Eye Rank (2)
Regeneration Rank (2)
Precision Rank (2)
Endurance Rank (2)
Strength Rank (3)
Beastmaster
Sentient Sympathy
>Companions
Dragon (Whelp)
Birds (Murder) (Roc)
Oddballs (Cute Fairy)
>Equipment
The Hook Rank (2)
Weapons Rank (4) (Mana Enchantment)
Heavy Armor (Adamantium Plate)
>Challenges
Mega Yandere
I have no interest In wasting my life guarding one settlement after another.
If convincing the government of letting us stay in one city together fails so be It.I always envied those waifu seekers
Help me god if she turns me into a lich...
Am I imagining things, or did some posts complaining about Angelanon just get deleted?Is posting about Angel a banable offense now?Please?
>>47900607
Hibiki those pictures you keep posting are adorable.
>>47900734
Yup, that sounds like it would suck. It's much better to try and romance death instead.
>>47900433
>Race
Human
>Class
Winner
>Perks
Wise Hunter
Multitasking
Fast Learning
>Items
Energy Generator (1900)
Personal Shield Generator+Anti-Magic Mod (400)
Stealth Suit (300)
Kevlar (250)
Communicator (150)
Player Database (50)
Basic Information Package (0)
>Organizations
Flechette
>Made a couple decent CYOAs that people liked
>Want to make another one but don't have the motivation
>I moved on to another creative thing but I just gave that up
Why can I never stick to one god damn hobby
>>47901414
OCD anon.
>>47901414
galileo didn't have only 1 hobby
>>47900760
Hey, don't be hating on the Glassman, Mr. Gains, or Fox. That's my dream-team right there.
>>47895707
>mind. A world
mind: a world, or mind--a world
>Catheridge. A country ... Xeria. A realm ...
Consider: a world called Catheridge, a country called Xeria--a realm of magic, fantasy, and wonderment. (Alternatively, semicolons can be utilized for breaking up each thought.)
>you finalizes.
Finalizes what? This sentence could stand to be re-worded.
>Your new life.
Consider: A new life. (Death to redundancies.)
>new life companion
new lifelong companion
Knowledge & Power
___
>Wizards are male, scholarly, studious mages
Wizards are scholarly male mages
>The Grand
the Grand
>learn, manipulate, and understand
understand, learn, and manipulate (Usually how the order of things goes.)
>magic with logic and study
magic through logic and study.
>on an Arcane School
>not: on the Arcane [Arts/Schools]
>implying my master is enough of a slouch that he can't even master more than one school
Anywayyyyy...
>and welcome
and welcomed [everywhere/anywhere?]
>acquaintences
acquaintances
Compassion & Mystery
>Eva, The
Eva, the
>harness, control, and weave
harness, weave, and control
>Alchemy, sorceries, hexes, and talismans
Alchemy, sorcery, hexing, and talismans
>the conduit of
Consider: a conduit of
>Patron Mystery
Is Mystery an entity? [her patron, Mystery, using].
2/?
>>47900802
bypassing the questions would probably work. I understand the desire to do something different with than the conventional point buy, and I've often tried different stuff. But then I generally fail at it. I wouldn't say either of us were wrong to try.
I like how you're allowed to fail by a certain amount. Might be interesting to have more escalating consequences.
>>47898146
>guro
I've lost all respect for you
>>47901474
on who?
>>47900369
Why is SDA in every CYOA now?
>>47897577
Stop acting all cutesy, you're a guy aren't you? I don't like being confused
>>47901533
i've lost respect of myself too.
but i still have the will to live
>>47901631
obviously
isn't that like the default gender in the internet?
>>47901474
>Is Mystery an entity? [her patron, Mystery, using].
Good question. Basically, Patron Mysteries are the foil to Arcane Schools. Arcane Schools are established, recorded methods of learning and using magic while Patron Mysteries are... not. They're still magic, but Witch magic doesn't take form outside of alchemy, it can't be written down or explained, it just... is. It's a power witches share that can't be readily explained, and only uniquely understood by the witch who has the Mystery in question. Older witches can tutor younger ones on how to meditate and harness the power (otherwise Circe would be out a job), but as far as explaining it plainly goes? Hard to do.
>>47897577
>>47901670
Hah, I'm laughing at your comicbecause it's funny.
Could do with some fallout references and memes
clockwork
caliburn's scabbard
Farsight
pheididdpides
bolt
horus
apothecary
spectre
zues
>>47901670
>>47901631
luckily, hes an internet anonymous, he could be any creature or being we percieve him as and short of meeting him in person, we don't have to change that reality.
That's the reason I'm currently a woman, can be whatever i want on the internet. I'll be a helicopter next.
for god's sake, highlander is a god damn sword. lucky bastard.
>>47901447
Yeah but I change hobbies every 2 weeks pretty much
I fucking hate it
>>47901702
it was already discontinued but i might pick it up and remake it all over again
>>47901726
ayy, that's a good thing, always up for an adventure and try something new
>>47901724
I want you to be a painter
>>47900129
>Housing
Cliffside Castle
>Domain
Mountains
>Advisor
The Familiar (Giant Isopod)
>Perks
Alchemy, Blood Magic (free, falimiar), Enchanting, Elementalism (Earth), Form Changing, Golemshop, Muscles, Study
>Immortality
One with Nature
>>47900277
Apprentice, Blacksmith x4, Druid x4, Dryad x4, Fallen Angel x5, Scholar Angel x4,
Master Worker x4, Pet Dragon, Takwin x4, Elemental x4
>>47900399
>Size
Giant
>Type
Hydra
>Perks
Bond (free), Magic, Spiked, Strong Scales, Intelligence and Cunning
>>47900492
>Complications
Monster Invasion (mandatory), Abholoth, The Demon Lord, Dragon Pair, Enemy Wizard, Force of Nature (+Angered Natives), Orc Bounty Hunter
4+8+1+6+3+2
=+24 Coins
+4+1
=+5 Shards
This is either going to be fucking awesome, or blow up in my face fucking spectacularly.
I am extremely powerful, a singularity superbeing which compels both the natural and artificial to progress. I am probably powerful enough to stop the demons, the wizard, the dragons and the nature spirits who opposed my assimilation into the world with the resources I have on hand. I am not strong enough to stop Abholoth, or at least we are too closely matched for it being worth the risk. That's where the others come in. They are all lesser deities in their own right, save maybe the wizard (who quite frankly is in over his head) and all of them want my land. Maybe the dryads would give up, maybe the monsters would perish, but the dragons and the demons are not so easily deterred. Using their pride and power, I will let them come, let them meet, and let them team up to try and take me. Then I will attract Abholoth. I will let the various vying powers battle amongst themselves, and when none but a weakened Abholoth remains my augmented people will rise to smite him and harvest him for resources. Then, we will begin our own perpetual warfare among ourselves in a competition of making better beings through alchemy, industry warfare and nature, just like our Dark God forefather.
Cosmo kramer
>>47900129
Autism incoming, Here is my build to become the God-Emperor of Mankind
First I will count up my resources, using the drawbacks I have taken
>Shards
5 (Base)
+1 Coastal Castle
+4 Abholoth
+1 Dragon Pair
+3 Thorn of cold
Total: 14 Shards
>Coins
10 (Base)
+5 Monster Invasion(Mandatory)
+8 Demon Lord
+2 Coup
+10 Hold Fast
+6 King
+2 Disguised Assassins
+2 Dark Riders
+6 Force of Nature
+3 Orc Bounty Hunter
+2 Sister Sorceress
+4 Lich Council
+2 Enemy Lizard
+2 Rogue Telepath
+2 Mad Elementalist
+1 Thieves Guild
+2 Merchant Inheritor
Total:73 Coins
Second I will show how I spent my resources
>Shard Expenditures
Muscles
Cult
Diplomat
Study
Demonic Magic
The Mind
Telepathy
Enchanting
Natural Leader
Vampirism
Runic Armor
Weapon
Worship
Form Changing
>>Coin Expenditures
>Economy/Government
Guilds(x3)
Weaver's guild
Shipbuilder's guild
Smith's Guild
Cooks(x2)
Merchant(x2)
Diplomat(x2)
Spymaster(x2)
Master Worker(x3)
Smith
Weaver
Fisherman
Beastmaster(x2)
>Military
Captain of the Guard(x2)
Squad of Guards(x8)
Footmen(5)
Archers(3)
Knights(x2)
Troop of Cavalry(x4)
Ranger
Hunters(x2)
Ship Captain(x3)
>>Special
>Dragon(costs 10)
Drake
Blue
Bond
Intelligence and Cunning
Strong Scales
Elementalism(Water)
Angel(costs 3)
Apprentice
Scholar Angel
Druid(x2)
Dryad(x2)
Witch(x2)
Bard(x2)
Living Armor(x2)
Cultist(x2)
Water
Fire
Cultist Group(x2)
Blood Knight(x2)
Demon Warrior(x2)
>>47901776
My plan is to seize power during a chaotic moment, as Abholoth, The Demon Lord and the army of the gods fight it out to see gets to kill me first.
My first step is to reach out to my followers using telepathy, leading them to my location and freeing me from my frozen throne.
I will attempt to use a combination of shock and awe, charm, telepathy and raw arcane power to break my mundane enemies to serve me,
such as the King, Merchant Inheritor, Sister Sorceress, Enemy Wizard, etc) Any who can not be turned to my service will be destroyed, using my magic I will absorb their power to further strengthen myself.
As the aspiring god-emperor of mankind, I would try to spread in addition to the worship of me, enlightment and knowledge to my followers, and build institutions that will last after I have ascended into full godhood.
In addition to empowering my regular followers, I will have my living armors serve as my bodyguards, while my blood knights and demon warriors, taking advantage of enchanted weapons that shapeshift them as appearing as powerful human warriors,
serve as my battlefield champions. Finally my Angel and Dragon will serve as my problem solvers to anything my normal troops and institutions can't handle.
>>47901743
Not being able to finish anything isn't worth the adventure
tremor
powers multiversal viewing and temporal shift
How's that one anon comin' along with the author CYOA?
>>47901726
have you tried alternating the hobbies?
>>47901823
I inevitably go in circles
So how do you guys feel about things being made in MS paint? Like things made from scratch? I made a few symbols and etc and they feel like they give more life to the cyoa, to me. I'm also the guy that made your eyes bleed so i could be wrong.
>>47895707
>using the strength of your soul ... bond.
Simplifying a sentence helps one discern how they should refer to subjects and objects: "a witch's familiar aids her by being a conduit, using the strength of *its soul to power her magic, and meditating with her to deepen *their bond." Omitting 'of her Patron Mystery' made it easier to discern what was what. You can add it back in and the sentence will read just as well, but it's a little sloppy too.
Instead, how about this? "... a witch's familiar aids her by being the conduit of her patron, Mystery. A familiar uses the strength of its soul to amplify its witch's magic, and may form a greater bond with its witch through meditating with her."
Cleans up that (otherwise long) sentence nicely and removes the "you"'s.
>close, tight-knit
Either 'closely-knit' or 'tightly-knit' will suffice.
>with more focus
focusing more on
Green text box
>details: Your ..., Your ... your (x1000)
details: your master's class, age, and name, as well as your name, species, focus(es), powers, perks, job(s), and an event--should you choose to participate in one.
>details you want, note
want. [Please] Note
>designing a mage to go with you
designing a lifelong [companion/master/witch/wizard] to accompany you.
>six age categories
3
>your master, with
your master. With
>With a young ... classes.
All age categories are available for both witches and wizards.
[side note]
>>47901699
May want to make a note or blurb about that on one of your pages. That sentence had me scratching my head. I'm not changing any corrections I made to it on this page, just in case you find them to your liking.
[side note end]
>The category ... from them.
This sentence is not actually necessary. What it says is self-explanatory in the section below.
3/?
>>47901822
Ironically, I just decided to check up on the new thread, I've been sitting in the old one reviewing information.
I've got 4/18 done for page 1.
Still lacking pictures:
Alchemist
Gifted
SDA
Angel
Kit
Ren
Symbiobro
Painter
Box Wine (although I am debating a few things presently)
Spessrefuge
Bliss
Imaginos
Italics
Ferrean
I also got shit to do, so will be slow going for the next few days.
class warrior
domain's healing domain and destruction domain
school abjuration
quest tarrasque and orcus rising
>>47901848
you could see a bunch ofhentaianime or play videogames, destroy something, visit a part of your town that you didn't knew and let the muses sing!
academy city
Teleportation
>>47901955
>>47901848
i like this destroy stuff idea anon, have you ever tried taking things apart and putting them back together?
toasters, microwaves, TVs its all fun even when it cant be put back together.
such a fun learning experience...
>>47897109
I second this. I'd love to see more, even if it is just a fan expansion.
>>47902020
>>47901931
>>47901821
>>47901760
>>47900381
>>47900130
>>47899672
um, sir
do you, uh, do you need help with replying to posts?
>>47896176
City: Mashangshi
Skills: Mechanics, Pilot x3, Tactics [Small Scale]
Items: Formal wear, Housing x1, Education x2 [Mechanical Engineering], Aircraft [Fighter], Friendly Noble, Power, Membership, Money
Companions: Matea Tekla, Mathieu Baptise, Venkat Wash
Not much to say about this. Matea Tekla was probably purposefully made laughably good. Money makes almost every other choice meaningless, if used intelligently.
Lead fighters by day in highly successful missions, manipulate the world by night.
>>47902081
It's the Anon who shitposts by never linking to CYOAs they're responding to. Don't bother, they're a lost cause. Or a budding AI, either way you can't help.
>>47901879
>patron, Mystery.
This implies that Mystery is a name and not a subject.
>>47895707
>Each age category places...
Beyond saying it in this sentence, you don't actually provide named locations for the Adult Mage, the Elder Master, or the Wizened Hag; you provide a contextual location for the Wandering Mistress. Only the Waifish Orphan and the Aspiring Student have listed locations.
>to help differentiate each
to help distinguish each
>a slew of gauges
several gauges
DANGER
>The more filled it is
The higher the rating, the greater the threats.
POWER
>The higher this is, ... command.
A higher rating is indicative of greater influence and magical feats being possible.
COMPASSION
>How well ... along.
How compatible you will initially be with your master.
>The higher this ... being.
Your chosen master will care more for your well being at a higher rating and less so at a lower rating.
WEALTH
>How well .. department.
How well off your master is, monetarily speaking.
>The higher .. is.
Those with a higher rating will be able to offer a more comfortable livelihood.
>remember! There
remember: there is no "wrong" build! [Yeah, I even went there. Can you dig it?]
So here's an observation I'm inclined to share with you, Ren. You appear to have a bit of lore neatly (and messily) tucked into each section--things about the King's Academy, Mystery, the Summit, Xeria and its origins. I'm going to suggest (and modestly--this would be more work for you, by far) that you consider making a page or 2 for locations/histories/explanations so that you can present information about each object of interest in a more organized format.
How you present all of that information is a question only you can answer. I'm leaving off at the class section for now. I'll pick up on this and Strange New World tomorrow.
So I see the last few threads have degenerated into nothing more then arguments and tons of random non-cyoa related images. How Quaint.
>>47902128
Correct. That was my thinking when I read that. Now that I have the explanation from Ren saying that Patron Mystery is inexplicable, that mistake can correct itself.
>>47902128
They do seem like they should be proper nouns since they're prefaced with 'the'
>>47902023
>>47901955
I already do play a shit ton of vidya
Maybe I should just write shit for Trials in Tainted Space
Updated this one.
>>47902295
Holy fuck no. That game is a terrible furfest and the coder is a complete bastard of a person who abuses his writers and editors.
>>47901895
Mind posting the images of the authors you currently have? You don't have to name them.
I can probably help you out, depending on the art style you're going for.
