>https://regimental-standard.com
>GW produced a lore focused, hilarious website that isn't 100% focused on selling you stuff with every sentence
Is this a good sign fellow fa/tg/uys and ca/tg/irls? Is GW finally turning their shit around?
>>47817737
It shows how much the flat sales figures from last year panicked them even after they pulled out all the stops on releases.
>>47817737
Maybe. They're also hiring a community site manager, so maybe they'll actually open channels with their fans, do market research and not just assume that they know best.
Funny what being outdone by a bunch of tiny pre-painted spaceships can do to a company.
>>47818117
Is X-wing really doing that well? It enjoyed a brief popularity at my flgs, but that died out fairly quickly.
>>47817737
Honestly, they've been doing pretty good recently.
New boardgames are decent value, have good rules and mostly excellent new sculpts.
Only bad models in the last couple of years have been space wolves, khorne, sigmarines (who have a couple of good ones) and dwarves (or whatever the fuck they are called now). Vast majority of new sculpts are pretty decent, some really good.
Age of Sigmar is getting it's aesthetic and background together. I still miss WFB, but it's not a terrible setting on it's own merits.
Ad Mech finally got an army list. Genestealer cults are least sort-of available, possibly getting a full release later. Knights, stormtroopers and other stuff which has been on many people's wish-lists for a long time finally being made.
Age of Sigmar rules for free. Not exactly great rules, but at least they didn't have the cheek to ask you to pay for them.
New White Dwarf actually quite readable and not horribly overpriced. About the same real content as the monthly version with a lot less filler.
And now this... genuinely good content, for free.
I'm actually allowing myself a bit of hope.
>>47818414
>About the same real content as the monthly version with a lot less filler.
Got some bad news for you anon
![image2-sm[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kWukoRR.jpg "image2-sm[1].jpg")
It was worth reading through this site purely to find this image
This is actually fairly humorous, are you sure this is GW doing it?
>>47819143
It is. They advertise it in White Dwarf.
>>47817737
The site is hilarious, the adds for their own models on the site are clever, and they are working on a ton of new FAQs. Plus a bunch of board games and some really nice looking models. GW is becoming awesome again
>**Remember, your lives belong to the Emperor. Getting yourself killed is forbidden and failure to comply will result in punishment.
>>47819744
The funny thing is that the imperium is batshit enough to find a way to punish you even in death
>>47819005
I love this stuff
>>47819953
Are they going to make the price to play the game reasonable and hire game designers who aren't morons yet?
>>47819969
>>47819981
>>47819981
Taufags on suicide watch
>>47819909
In the Redeemer comic, he brought a guy back to life so he could torture him to death for information.
>>47819981
https://regimental-standard.com/2016/03/04/tau-technology-inferior-2/
>tau technology inferior
It's like a new edition of the infantryman primer
>>47817737
Thanks man. This is gold.
>>47819981
>al you 'avin a laff?
>What is true is that at the exact moment an enemy aircraft flew overhead, a lone squad of troopers were blown to pieces. However, this was a mere accident and nothing to do with the enemy fighter. The careless** troopers had inadvertently triggered a landmine and were summarily blown to bits.
This shit is gold
>>47817737
Not to be a buzzkill but when they start giving CSM and other low-tier armies some love then I'll start giving them the benefit of the doubt. You can't just start praising them as reformed when they still completely ignore and compound some issues. The CSM box formation sucking donkeyballs while the one that is released right alongside it gives you free respawning elite units is an insult.
>>47818414
>Genestealer cults are least sort-of available, possibly getting a full release later.
>possibly getting a full release later.
I doubt it, but they're definitely a nice detachment for the ally-less tyranids.
>>47819969
Aren't traitor space marine kind of secret for the Imperium ? I remember a secret medal in Only War for those who manage to take down one. I can imagine why the High command would prefer to keep this kind of information away from the Imperial Guards.
>>47820098
>>47820239
It's shocking how funny this is. I love the bit about guardsmen with flamers being required to clean the bottom of an Imperial Knight's feet after a battle.
>>47820048
My thoughts exactly. It's a constantly updating primer.
>>47820048
They even called other forms of las-weaponry "Puny flashlights"
>>47820273
>I doubt it
Believe it, sky-motherfucker
>>47819981
>Unstable design
Nice
>>47817737
What other articles would you anons want to see on this site?
Maybe one on the ineffectiveness of Eldar psychic powers? The low durability of Necrons?
>I can see through the hull
>As many squad members as required should immediately remove their flak jackets and jam them into the holes in the hull. This will quickly and effectively ensure your continued safety. Troopers should contribute their armour in reverse height order. While it requires more sets of smaller armour, they’re harder to hit. Any holes remaining at this point, once all troopers have contributed their armour, can be used as additional firing points from the vehicle.
This reads like it was written by /k/, I love this shit.
>>47820930
Massive amounts of panicked damage control when human defectors to the Tau release videos and reports of life being fucking awesome under the Empire. That'd be bloody hilarious.
>>47818117
>Community site manager
Literally cancer.
>>47820048
>>47819981
But the Sentinel is just as much a shitty chicken walker. Even more so because it has no arms.
>>47821101
The difference is, is that Tau lack the rock solid faith in the God Emperor that the Imperial guard have, with which they stand upon.
>>47821087
>feeble claws
>>47821131
But how can you stand on it when faith in the Emperor is above all else?
>>47821273
You assume that faith in the Emperor is not omnipresent.
>>47821101
>Even more so because it has no arms.
Walking without arms is more difficult, and exposes the inherent superiority of Mankind's technology.
Notice how the tau tried to copy the sentinel's design with their stormsurge, but couldn't get it to stay upright without additional supports.
>>47820304
No, they're calling the pulse Carbine's target sight a 'puny flashlight'
>>47821370
I think those are marker lights they are referring to
>Out of grenades? Don’t worry – a swift bayonet to the Knight’s vulnerable ankle joint will bring it crashing down. Whereupon you can deliver the Emperor’s justice to the crippled abomination.
>If Step 4 proves ineffective, you’ve failed to properly maintain your bayonet. You now have no choice but to throw yourself into the workings of the Knight’s feet. Together, there is no foe that the mass of humanity cannot overcome. Rest assured you will be remembered as a hero. Survivors of such an assault will be summarily punished for poor bayonet maintenance.
Holy shit, this amazing
>>47820930
I would like to know more about the puny orks and their inefficient mob tactics.
>Advance – Always advance. If the enemy is before you, take the fight to him. If you are surrounded – great news, you may proceed in any direction.
>Quote – Call to mind an inspirational quotation and recite it, loudly. Remember, the content is less important than the vigour with which you deliver it. Your men will take heart from your words and fight all the harder.
>Unify – Be sure to advance en masse – the enemy only has so many bullets. More importantly, this will also make it easier for your troopers to hear your inspiring words.
>Inspire – Make sure your Regimental Standard is no more than two paces from you at any given time. Should the bearer fall, have the nearest Guardsmen drop his lasgun and retrieve the banner.
>Lead – You should always be at the front of the formation. Only the bold are afforded the Emperor’s divine protection. Be sure to stop every 11 paces to strike a heroic pose upon the fallen bodies of your foe.
>Attack – Keep fighting until all the enemy lie dead. If the tide appears to be turning in the opposition’s favour, fight harder. Retreat will result in death and the damnation of your eternal soul.
>>47821489
>Lead – You should always be at the front of the formation. Only the bold are afforded the Emperor’s divine protection. Be sure to stop every 11 paces to strike a heroic pose upon the fallen bodies of your foe.
Are they finally loosening up a little at GW?
>>47821556
>loosening up
>We have also received dubious reports of Valkyries being shot down. Be assured, no Valkyries have been lost in any recent war zone. If you believe you have witnessed such an occurrence, you have likely just seen one of these fine pilots make an expert landing under enemy fire, and any explosions were most assuredly the enemy, or perhaps fireworks to celebrate another successful landing.
>Fireworks
I'd say so anon. It's a good feel.
>Genestealers are capable of overpowering poorly trained or ill-disciplined guardsmen and implanting them with alien DNA. If you believe you have been infected, please report to your local Commissar for medication.
top fucking kek
>>47821637
>>47821638
Damn. This is good.
>Owing to their ugly, odd shaped xenos heads, the Tau are forced to wage war in helmets with only a single eye lens. This moronic design flaw renders their depth perception patchy at best. The Tau are unable to properly judge distances or relative sizes, making their shooting wildly inaccurate. Should a shot strike you then you have simply been unlucky. Perhaps you have been lax in your devotion of late – regular prayer will ensure the Emperor protects you form such ill fortune.
This is amazing. Is there any way we can express our approval? Because there seriously needs to be more of this.
>>47821556
>finally
they've always been pretty off the wall with their weekly articles and shit
don't buy into the internet's cynicism, m8
>>47821693
To be honest, even if the Helbrute has terribad rules, its model is one of the better CSM ones.
*If you suspect you or a fellow soldier could be experiencing Human Weakness, speak to your Regimental Commissar about options for munitorum approved motivational support.
Yes.
>If your Chimera ceases to move in a combat zone, calmly exit the vehicle and examine it.
>(Important! If you are currently embarked amidst an aquatic assault, do not exit the vehicle – this is key.)
This is fantastic.
Remember, bald people are probably genestealers.
>>47821692
I suppose giving it more clicks and views is the only way to approve of this and only this.
>>47821854
>>47821733
The rebuild of the whole faction into the biomechanical look will be glorious once it happens
My secret wish is forhavocs with ammo familiars on their backs and optional daemonic feet to stabilize on the ground
>>47821733
I love its general shape, but the fleshy thighs just do not look quite right.
Still, miles ahead of the dinobots and flying dinobots.
Oh boy rodent flavor!
>>47821489
>If you are surrounded – great news, you may proceed in any direction.
Did GW really produce all of this?
>>47822014
I wonder which one actually tastes better. I'm betting Rodent, since grim darkness.
Does the average Guardsman/Commander really believes anything about all the BS propaganda written in these books/articles?
>>47822019
That's recycled meme I think, still amazing GW greenlighted the project.
>>47822019
GW writers are capable of awesomeness when they don't have management breathing down their necks.
Three square meals a day!I see the packaging and all I think is "Snowpiercer Protein Bars"which I would totally try, those fuckers look good
>>47822061
i am pretty sure that veterans literally use the guard handbook as toilet paper
>>47817737
>bringing back Blood bowl and other specilist games
>revamping LOTR and handing it over to people who will hopefully treat it better and market it right
>cheep snap fit minis for marines and orks to get new players in at a lower startup cost
>White dwarf (hopefully) going back to its roots and beign good again
>Several stand alone boxed games out / planed
>said stand alone boxed games have minis that can be used in other game systems they make (IE SM scouts, nid stealers ect ect)
All in all yes. I think GW has started to pull its head out of its ass.
Now if only we can do something out those prices.
>>47821981
Good idea, just hope the rules for them will make them viable.
>>47821985
Dinobots are rad as fuck what's wrong with you?!
>>47822083
>>47822014
This shit just makes me think of this scene
>It's a single cell protein combined with synthetic aminos, vitamins, and minerals. Everything the body needs.
>It doesn't have everything the body needs.
>>47822061
It's more like what goes on in Korea: Everyone knows or at least suspects about the truth but they have to play their role for their o-glorious leader/government/commissar not to die horribly.
I like to think there're young, expectant, recruits who genuinely believe thountil the bugs start shooting plasma from their butts into the orbiting ships
>>47822102
The rules still suck huge amounts of dick. We'll see once they release 8th and start redoing the codex ranges. Until then I will remain steadfastly cynical.
Someone post the recaff machine
>>47819994
>Note his excellent posture, and the holy gleam of his armour. His wargear will be well maintained, kept in immaculate condition by the ministrations of his Chapter’s skilled Techmarines.
>>47821981
And where does that leave people who want traitor marines with archaic marine gear instead of biomechanical monster machines exactly?
>>47822154
Just play LOTR annon.
The system is the tits and with how the game works it matters more how you play then what list you bring.
>>47819953
>Likely Toxic.
Wait. They don't know if their OWN technology is Toxic?
>>47819969
>In contrast, look upon and despise this traitorous wretch.
>So ashamed are they of their 10,000 years of failure, Chaos Space Marines often paint their armour black, the better to go unnoticed and un-mocked.
>Note the subject’s hunched and distorted frame. Some Chaos Space Marines are further hampered by malformations and mutations that lessen their combat effectiveness. You’ll notice their wargear is old and antiquated, and their boltguns often lack any ammunition. Most are in such disrepair that they are less effective than even a primitive autogun or stubber.
>A Chaos Space Marine is not of threat to a vigilant Guardsman. Be vigilant. Be virtuous. Be victorious.
>Failure to read or comply with the above notice will result in summary punishment.
Chaos babbies BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
>>47822238
They'd play Iron Warriors?
>>47822238
Crusade era list? I mean, 10,000 years of chaos will leave you with a bit more than old weapons
>>47822102
WHFB is still dead and the rules of 40k are still unbelievably shitty.
The only two things that will bring them out of stagnation are fixing the rules and cutting prices. Both things they will never do.
>* Please note that this statement is a metaphor. On no account worship the Warlord Titan, unless as a manifestation of the Emperor’s enthroned divinity. Check with your Regimental Commissar prior to prayer if at all unsure.
>>47822254
Wait, I thought this site WASNT spoused to tell the truth
>>47822277
see
>>47822251
Best rules set GW has done.
>>47822251
>I want 40k to not be shit
>Just play another game lol
Bruh.
>>47822257
The point is changing the default look to a bio-mechanical thing leaves them having to spend more to get what used to be the default.
>>47822261
It worked just fine before they had robot dinosaurs.
Of course more importantly they have to actually give Chaos a functional and viable Codex but that is another issue.
>>47822316
I doubt we will ever see the glory days of 3rd and 4thed 40k again annon.
>>47821489
>Lead – You should always be at the front of the formation. Only the bold are afforded the Emperor’s divine protection. Be sure to stop every 11 paces to strike a heroic pose upon the fallen bodies of your foe.
>>47822328
Now now, don't say that. I remain pessimistic but judging by all this progress, they have what it takes. Just hope they keep up the momentum and apply it to every aspect of the hobby. So far their best known stuff has been Renegade, a boxed set for more big stompy OP shit and the SC boxes. Good value but tend to have strong formations and units for the big important armies only.
The rest is PR stuff since we know how desperately GW needed that. Don't let them pull the wool over your eyes, they are still GW until proven reformed.
>>47822328
It was a lot easier to be nostalgic for the 3.5 chaos book before I found the internet and discovered it was full of morons who think only powergamers liked that book.
>>47817837
Which is dumb. You can't expect infinite exponential growth in a market like this. They should be glad sales dropped ONLY 10% in previous years and stayed flat in this year. Considering that the majority of their customers have complete armies, what incentive is there to buy new models? That they're buying at all is already good news.
>>47822435
>You can't expect infinite exponential growth in a market like this.
Tell that to the investors. They expect 10% growth or more over the previous year, every year. Supply, demand, economics, and basic logic all be damned.
>>47822394
Because it's true. Look at how much shit vanilla marines have right now, but what is it that you actually see? Gladius, grav spam, grav centurions, grav bikes, White Scars only, psyker spam. Do you see any other chapters besides Ultras/White Scars/occassional IH? Do you see fluffy stuff and diverse wargear? No. Just like you wouldn't see anything but IW if they re-released 3.5
>>47822511
>Just like you wouldn't see anything but IW if they re-released 3.5
Thank you.
The WAAC players used a percentage of that book, just like Eldar players now spam scatterbikes.
Your nostalgia is based on the book, not the reality of people who used the book. The people that used the book used only a handful of things in it, would freely list tailor on the fly with mutations, if they used them at all, etc.
>>47822014
Damn it's been a while since I've last read a piece of 40k fluff that had some proper black humor behind it.
>>47822511
Thanks for proving you are part of the problem.
I was drawn to the IW list for purely thematic/fluff/aesthetic related reasons. Until I encountered whiners like you on the internet I had never even heard that it was considered a powergamer favourite.
And I loved the book BECAUSE it was fluffy and had so many gear options along with most others who played it. People lying on the internet won't change that fact.
The current status of the game being shit has nothing to do with it, people played all the different variant lists in the 3.5 codex and I have seen people be nostalgic for all of them.
>>47822667
>Thanks for proving you are part of the problem.
By listing facts?
>I was drawn to the IW list
Oh, I see why you're so belligerent. YOU'RE the actual problem and you were called out on it.
>>47822667
>white cis male trying to tell the underprivileged that they're wrong
>>47822667
>Until I encountered whiners like you on the internet I had never even heard that it was considered a powergamer favourite.
You clearly didn't play in tournies or deal with a large community, then.
You might as well say you didn't know that Eldar have been a top tier army since RT.
>Maintaining your flak armour
>In order to keep your flak armour in optimum working order and maintain the excellent protection it affords, you are required to observe the following:
>Do not expose your flak armour to fast moving, solid-slug ammunition
Do not allow your flak armour to come into contact with explosives
Care should be taken not to wear your flak armour near naked flames
Keep away from sharp implements, and from heavy objects which may fall on your flak armour.
Despite proliferation of enemy blood and battlefield filth, you must not wash your flak armour at temperatures exceeding 40 degrees.
Failure to follow these instructions will result in your flak armour being confiscated. Note: you will still be expected to take part in active combat duty.
Holy kek
>>47822721
W-w-w-what do you mean 2E Eldar was cheesy?! I JUST LIKED IT FOR THE FLUFF!
>>47822689
>think Iron Warriors look cool, like their fluff and find the heavy support choices in the codex more interesting than the fast attack
>guess I will go with Iron Warriors
>Wow you are a powergamer!
Can you see the problem here? Pretending only powergamers like the Iron Warriors just makes you dishonest.
You don't get to tell other people why they like an army. Are you so jaded the idea of someone picking an army because they find it interesting is inconceivable to you?
>>47822748
I fucking love that, based on that list, the only thing flak armor protects you from is lasgun shots.
>>47822806
Don't stand and claim that IW weren't the powergamers choice because you did do so.
The "fluffiness"of the 3.5 csm book was second to how much is was abused.
>>47822847
The claim was that its idiotic to say only Powergamers like the book/that list. I picked IW before I even knew anything about which faction was 'powerful' or not because I thought they looked cool.
And yes, the fluff/huge number of options is why so many people remember the book fondly. The power level is ONLY brought up by people like you who just want to shit on the book. Or people who think Chaos players are not allowed to want a good codex again and enjoy being assholes to them on the internet for no good reason.
>>47822277
>>47822154
If we cared more about rules than miniatures we would just be playing normal boardgames.
Of course it would be nice if they produced some rules that weren't awful, but at the end of the day we're here because we like the grimderpness of the far future.
>>47819005
that's fantastic.
>>47822935
But that does not help if the game is simply no longer fun to play and its expensive because GW is constantly shaking the meta on purpose.
>>47822929
And I'm sure Eldar players loved the early that were incredibly fluffy and had piles of options to represent each major craftworld.
That didn't stop them from being the most OP books of their editions time and again. Yes, you can remember fondly a book that appeals to you, but others can remember how ripe for abuse it all was, how often it was abused, and feel no pity for you when you wax poetic about how "fluffy" it was.
>Your standard issue flak armour is the envy of infantry the galaxy over. No other* form of personal armour offers such a unique blend of ballistic protection and energy absorption.
>*Testing has not been conducted on other forms of armour.
>Thoughts for the day “My armour is contempt”****
>****Unless less metaphorical armour has been provided.
This is golden.
>>47822929
As a dude who started with CSM in 5th, I weeped when I saw the codex. MY Thousand Sons could've been so fucking FUN.
The only reason WAAC players get any steam is because they get given steam by the people who refuse to not play them. Yes people will abuse the codex, like people develop strategies for being massive dickheads in Monopoly. It's always happened in any form of game that isn't single player. You can't lump those cunts with the people who just want to play fun fluffy lists that happen to be the same legion or codex as others who cheese. I have Necrons and Tau myself and I play them because I like them and guess what? I don't use formations or decurions. I don't field powerful units, I don't even field any fucking suits with my Tau. Partly because of the cancerous mentality and finger-pointing people do because of the WAACfags.
It's kinda like how I'm sick of being thought of as a terrorist on the bus because I'm tanned and like to sport a massive black beard. I'm not muslim, I'm not even fucking arabic!! But this shit pisses me off.
Balance the fucking game so every option has equal pros and cons.
>>47822929
I think the main arguement is that, even in 3.5 and 4th, the game suffered from over powered units and broken combos. Ill agree that the current book is hot trash, in fact, I personay run my Night Lords with the normal Space Marine list because the main codex is such a awful mess. Its not that the overall amount of choices in the old dex is a bad thing, its just illogical to reflect on the old times like nothing was wrong. Much like >>47822511 said, if the old dex was around nowadays, it would be mostly reviled for how strong it is, much like the current space marine dex
Tl;dr GW has never been good at rules
>Remember, your lives belong to the Emperor. Getting yourself killed is forbidden and failure to comply will result in punishment.
Oh God it just doesn't stop.
>If you witness a barrage of vortex missiles, and happen to glimpse the enemy’s last moments as they are consumed by the horror of the immaterium, you should immediately consume Special Ration Pack XIV. These small tabs will stave off any impending madness. A commissar will be on hand to help you administer the dose.
Holy shit my sides!
>>47823055
Well if you want to be an irrational, jaded asshole for no reason then good for you. And stop putting fluffy in air quotes you stupid shit, it actually WAS fluffy and there is no reason to act like it wasn't.
>>47823090
Well, its not like GW is going to do that any time soon.
>>47823110
I never said they were good at rules but that is not why people remember the codex fondly anyway. I just find it disgusting how people like that guy have decided they can call the majority of 3.5 dex chaos players liars because they are still butthur over the book.
And its even worse when they act like chaos players deserve a shitty codex because of it.
>>47823232
>>47823055
>>47823090
>>47823110
Guys, will you piss off to the 40k general? let us just enjoy some comedy here.
>>47821013
Holy fuck. I'm going to actually model this.
forty one thousand keks
>>47823218
the daily dose
>>47820131
>ayy lmao
>>47822238
Forge world Horus heresy and space marines kits conversions
>>47819909
IIRC, in the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer the punishment for suicide is having your body burned at a stake, the ashes thrown out of an airlock, and the bill for all of that sent to your next of kin.
>>47820048
That labeled part isn't even a laser, it's the pulse carbine's underslung grenade launcher. The markerlight is on the top of the barrel.
>>47822435
Would you invest your money into a company that makes less and less money every year?
>>47822252
Well, they aren't going to drink it to check, are they?
>>47819977
>Are they going to make the price to play the game reasonable and hire game designers who aren't morons yet?
They aren't going to make it cheaper. Everyone else with comparable products charges similar prices per miniature and they sure as hell aren't going to push people to collect fewer miniatures.
If you had played any of their recent boardgames, you would know they do have good game writers now. Betrayal at Calth is honestly the best tactical game I've played in years. Loads of emphasis on manouver and positioning. Whether that translates to better rules in the main game systems is pretty doubtful; I think the problems with the 40k ruleset would require a pretty serious effort to fix.
>>47822252
Eh, it's post-corruption and leaking from the Knight's groinal area, even the admech don't want to check that fluid
>>47823218
>Weapons with the power to liberate* an entire city
>*Major rebuilding work will be required post liberation
>When standing near a Titan armed with a Quake Cannon, you will be issued with earplugs. It is imperative you do not remove them, as when this weapon is fired, the shockwave emitted by the projectile’s passage can pulp organs and render brains to jelly.
>When fighting alongside a Titan equipped with a Sunfury Plasma Annihilator, a weapon that unleashes the caged thermonuclear oblivion of a star, you will be issued with ocular solar shields. Even so, do not look directly at the blast. It has been estimated** this will cause your eyeballs to melt in their sockets.
>**Estimates based on actual observed occurrences.
>>47822171
>Light and warmth of the Emperer to your meals
>Thought for the day:
>“An army marches on its stomach, and we march to victory!”
>>47823517
>lack of growth = loss
You're just as retarded as the corporate management at my last job.
I bet you, like them, would look at a spreadsheet full for stores with 30%+ quarter comp sales growth and immediately assume the one with 10% growth must be fucking up, when in reality that's the only store who's had their shit together from the beginning while the other ten in the area have only just unfucked themselves.
I want to see this site do an article in regards to the Eldar.
>>47823586
let me guess, you worked at the 10% store
>>47822171
>Mukaalhi Lho sticks
Nice
>>47823586
>he corporate management at my last job
Thanks for proving my point, faggot.
>>47823517
GW certainly isn't going about making more money the right way as it stands. Shareholders often get in the way of valuable growth and profit. Amazon, for example, had one year where they had to spend more money on investing in more buildings. This led to billions more in revenue but of course you can bet the shareholders didn't like it during the first year.
The shareholders right now have only themselves to blame for GW's lack of growth.
>>47823518
>they aren't going to drink it to check, are they?
You severely underestimate how bored, alcoholic, careless, and/or suicidal grunts on campaign are. "I drank evil robot piss cause Jimmy Eightfingers bet ten cigs I wouldn't" would not even be the dumbest thing I've ever heard a grunt say.
>>47823786
>The shareholders right now have only themselves to blame for GW's lack of growth.
Shareholders might be to blame for store downsizing, and part of stock becoming direct order only, but I'm pretty sure they're not responsible for the rest of Kirby's mad rule and subsequent mess that Rountree needs to mope up now.
>>47823805
storytime?
>>47823517
>>47823586
Put it other way, why would you invest into a company that manages to make less and less profit each year when you had alternative companies that we're able to create more and more profit each year?
>>47820275
The premise of that article was that the guardsman reading it is perhaps minutes away from being deployed on the field where both loyalist and traitor marines are already duking it out.
>>47823371
>daily dose
Pretty sure the implication is that the ration pills are cyanide capsules or something similar. Don't think you're taking more than one.
>>47818348
Number 1 in sales of any wargame at the moment.
>GW is so great they discovered what made WD great
>10 years after dropping it
>>47822840
considering the frequency of rebellion in the imperium that's probably an effective use of flak armor
>>47823859
Not that guy but it's not even a storytime moment.
Soldiers do dumb shit all of the time.
Like, really dumb shit.
Walk around any given Army post and the description
>married to a fat blonde trailerpark wife with visible tattoos
>calf tattoos
>tapout t-shirt
>monster energy drink t-shirt
>dodge charger bought on loans at 40% interest
Will apply to literally 60% of the population.
Now make them bored and without sex for 9-15 months.
>>47823581
>When standing near a Titan armed with a Quake Cannon, you will be issued with earplugs. It is imperative you do not remove them, as when this weapon is fired, the shockwave emitted by the projectile’s passage can pulp organs and render brains to jelly.
I can't stop smiling at the mental images of guardsmen calmly following the instructions of this primer on the field
>>47823859
go to any /k/ humor thread
>>47821489
I fucking love how its an acronym.
Man these are great
"We have also received dubious reports of Valkyries being shot down. Be assured, no Valkyries have been lost in any recent war zone. If you believe you have witnessed such an occurrence, you have likely just seen one of these fine pilots make an expert landing under enemy fire, and any explosions were most assuredly the enemy, or perhaps fireworks to celebrate another successful landing. If you find these explanations unsatisfying, please report to your Regimental Commissar for further details."
Do they advertise these things somewhere?
Spread the word around gatherings, stores, fan sites,...
Because they totally should.
>>47825463
Holy fuck, that's great
>>47825680
Advertised in White Dwarf. That's how I found out about it (I'm OP)
>>47825106
Thought for today:
“Victory may not rest with the big guns, but if we rest in front of them, we shall be lost.”
>Within your ranks, you are blessed by the constant care of commissars, who ensure that if you stray you are corrected, and that if that correction fails you are given the comfort of a bolt shell to the head.
This is fucking amazing
>>47819005
It looks like the Guardsman's flipping him the bird, which makes it even better. "Thanks for stealing my kill, asshole, I had him just fine myself."
>>47823859
>>47825339
There was one /k/ommando who did all sorts of stuff while on deployment. Traded a shit load of equipment for a container full of Czech milsurp, poisoned the FOB's 2IC or something and a whole shit load more.
Then just as people began to deny this happened, he posted proof of himself and his pictures with his dog.
Basically he was like an Army version of Old Man Henderson, /k/ named him Neeko or something.
I gotta say I love the way these articles talk about the Imperium and the technology within it, painting the Imperium like a vastly more callous version of the human federation from Starship Troopers.
It gets really tiring listening to /tg/ fanwank about how the Imperium is a hyper-regressive space-feudal empire, where the average soldier thinks his gun runs on fairy-dust and prayer, and that stuff like Space Marines are bona fide angels. I hate that idea, because it's hard to imagine how a modern(ish) army like the Imperial Guard could function if its soldiers were all ignorant peasant knuckleheads. I much prefer this WW1/Vietnam War/North Korea type mashup: a queasy, cognitive dissonance-soaked nightmare, full of "this is right because the God-Emperor says so, but my gut says otherwise" elements.
It's also nice that the articles treat the Imperium as being a lot smaller than most other sources. The article about new rations works so well, because the loss of a hundred agri-worlds on the Eastern Fringe is treated as being genuinely significant, putting real strain on the Imperium's ability to feed its populace. Most other recent fluff would've just brushed off the loss as only a drop in the ocean compared to the Imperium's bloated mass, in order to score maximum Serious Grimdark Points. Yeah, it "makes sense", given how big the Imperium is meant to be, but it also makes it impossible for me to care about the loss. It's functionally and dramatically meaningless.
So... yeah. Love the articles, really hope GW keeps building on this image of the Imperium in future.
>>47826468
>it's hard to imagine how a modern(ish) army like the Imperial Guard could function if its soldiers were all ignorant peasant knuckleheads
I would be surprised if there was a modern army that didn't have a vast quantity of ignorant peasant knuckleheads
>Please avoid being trodden on. While this occurrence will not impact on the continued battlefield effectiveness of a Warlord Titan, the same cannot be said for your lasgun and flak jacket. If you do find yourself in the path of a Titan and survive, you may be disciplined for careless application of Munitorum property.
Kek
>>47822014
So just standard beef patty MRE's?
We still dont know what those sticks are made of damnit.
>>47826838
nothing but a fine tallarn blend, man
>>47826468
Yeah, as a Tyranid player, I love seeing how even the relatively new Hive Fleet
Leviathan is already screwing over the entire Imperial war machine, even if only in a small way.
>>47826838
Anyone else find it weird that the Imperium has Iho stocks as standard rations? Seems like a big luxury to give to all guardsmen.
>>47827003
Seems like a necessary luxury to give to service men. Especially in the awful line of work that is the Imperial guard.
Makes you wonder, does the Average imperial guardsman know just how fucked up the Imperium is, consindering how they are essentially the Grimdark straight man? Do you ever think they've tried to chat up a Sister of Battle, only to learn shes a psychopathic zealot more intrested, or ever asked about a Space Marines sex life and his family, only to learn that the only pleasure he knows is slaughtering traitors, and the last tine he saw his family, he was 7? No wonder there is such a devide between vets and newbies.
>>47827454
more intrested, in purging than "purging"?
>>47818414
>About the same real content as the monthly version with a lot less filler.
Not to mention GW is bringing the monthly version back. Rountree is the best thing to happen to GW in a very very long time.
>>47827003
Eh, it's kind of based on the World Wars, add that to the fact that they're probably a bigger currency in the Guard than actual thrones and it's pretty reasonable - it's not like they're issuing pleasure-world grade cigars and Amasec
>>47827509
Now if they'd only expand it back to covering things other than their wargames.
>>47827833
Well, once the new specialist games are released, that's certainly a possibility.
Or maybe some RPG stuff, if we ever get a new version of one of the 40k or WHF/AoS RPGs.
This shit is great. I'm not a fan of the whole "40K is a parody setting" shit, but a bit of humor from an in-universe series of writings is great and shows they're being more creative instead of just shilling the newest product.
I hope they continue. It's good stuff.
What other stuff like this would you like to see /tg/?
Perhaps some sort of weekly log of the adventures of a rogue trader? Or maybe something about the Astartes, like index Astartes but written from the chapter's point of view. A slightly humorous tale from the chapter of the weeks history.like a story of the blood ravens being "gifted" some relic
>>47828170
The personal logs of Nemesor Zhandrek and his trusty man servant, Obyron.
>>47820273
Cults are Allies of Convienience, as per the FAQ.
What was this supposed to be?
https://www.games-workshop.com/WW/Munitorum-Armoured-Containers
>>47828473
https://www.games-workshop.com/en-GB/Munitorum-Armoured-Containers
>>47826468
Serious 40k
is boring 40k
>>47828521
Stompa Crew: "HAHAHA DEEZ UMMIES ARE ALMOST ORKY THE WAY DEY GETTIN STUCK IN WIT DA STOMPA!"
>>47828505
Are those like the size of a thumbdrive or something?
>>47828521
Isn't that actually the correct decision?
Stay at range and get pounded by the Ork artillery, flee and you get executed by other Commissars. You have to charge in and either board the Stompa and blow it up from inside or plant demo charges and run away.
>>47828561
>The last survivor becomes an honorary ork.
Is...is this real? is it official?
it fucking is
im laughing my ass from 20 minutes
every fucking line is golden
this is it
I missed this kind of shit
i missed it so much
is gw becoming good again? it seems so
But anyway this blog will be carved forever in my heart
>>47818414
>I'm actually allowing myself a bit of hope.
HOPE IS THE FIRST STEP ON THE ROAD TO DISAPPOINTMENT
I just want the author to talk about t he different IG regiments
KNOW YOUR ALLIES!
>Catachan
>Incredible physique
>Keen Stance
>Undesirable stench
Nice one gw. All you had to do was pay 200 dollars for a website to force-create a meme that you are a good company now.
more plz
>>47827599
>>47827454
>>47827003
Wouldn't it make more sense for it to be shitty smokes in a nice package.
****Unless less craptastic smokes have been provided.
>>47826752
>shit talking MREs
>>47828878
According to the Standard all these are genestealers
>Notice the lack of hair and headband to hide Xenos features
>>47828342
FUND IT
>>47817737
I think what really shows that they went the extra mile with the fact they have custom made artwork for this blog. Real dedication there.
>>47825065
Last story I heard from my cousin in the French Navy about a grunt acting fulb was a Foreign Legionnaire using his thigh as the mortar support plate or whatecer you call that heavy plate that you put under the mortar. Broke the guys leg in several place.
>>47825680
They have a facebook page, Regimental Standard.
So does WD (just created), BL, FW, ApS, and 40k. They're all pretty cool pages. What I do is set them to pop up at the top of my feed whenever there's some new stuff.
>You are undoubtedly very familiar with your lasgun, but have you ever stopped to think about what an absolute marvel the technology it is? If not, take a moment now to do that.
>…
>Welcome back. Did you conclude that the lasgun is a weapon truly worthy of your respect? If not, repeat the previous step. If you are still not reaching that conclusion, report to your regimental commissar for guidance.
this is incredible, holy shit
>invincible* Knights
>*claim verified by at least three living Knight pilots. No deceased pilots could be located for comment.
reading these makes me want to play some dawn of war as IG.
should I do soulstorm or dark crusade? I already beat winter assault as IG.
>>47817737
That site is the best 40k related thing that happened to me in at least 3 months.
>>47832759
Do both. Soulstorm currently has the best mods.
>>47823501
>adeptus mechanicus mislabeling xenos technology
I see no consistency problem here
>>47828521
This. Good 40k has self irony.
>>47828342
This can be fun
Also orks
Perhaps 2 diaries reporting the same events
>>47822014
In the grim darkness of the far future, we now know there're domesticated felines.
>>47821857
they have a facebook page.
>>47828473
>>47828505
METAL BOXES! THE TERRAIN, THE COOL!
>>47832759
crusade
This seems like a pure and simple SHILL thread. Every other post is 'Holy X, Y, Z' this is 'awesome,kek, golden'
Pure fake excitement for something that is interesting but nothing ground breaking. This is either being shipped or the stockholme syndrome victims that are GWs customers are pure materialistic consumers with no free thought of purchase beyond what their masters advertise.
I was interested in this but what a sick fucking joke.
They kill fantasy
>GW is going in the right directun cuz they release weak meme website
Age of piss and shit is still in existence. 40k is an imbalanced scat fetishests dream. The only form of power coming from the latest model releases.
Models are totally mediocre if not pure dog shit and sold at prices doubled for no reason
Fuck you. Fucking consumeristic wage slaves
>>47833934
>>47833934
Oh look summer has begun.
>>47833943
>>47833947
Ah look, literally 2 seconds after my post the GW single store TM red shirt loner managers come to shill their bullshit in hopes people will visit their bunkers of broken dreams and crippling solitude. Their only human interaction an artificial excitement to draw money from the in tainted a pocket like a leech from the pure blood flow. Looking to break the monotony and loneliness with making 'friends' I.e recruiting and brainwashing a new sad fuck to put all of their money into a miserable, soulless hobby. The hobby being defined by games workshop as consumerism of their products.
>>47833992
or perhaps we're laughing at the autist who can't stand seeing others have fun?
>>47833995
You have exposed yourself red shirt... Only a soulless sales man equates purchase of material and sale of product as 'fun'. As you red shirts like to call it. 'The games workshop tm hobby TM'
>>47834007
yeah, because reading humorous stories online for free definitely requires a purchase of their products.
I'm picturing a red-faced, fat little teenager, foaming at the mouth while lying on his back, kicking his feet in the air when reading your posts.
possibly soiling himself.
>>47833934
Look upon this anon and laugh at his bitter autism.
Let people enjoy a quick glimpse of ye olde 40k you fuckwad.
>>47834014
Of course you would picture that. A revelation and deeper insight into your wicked and depraved soul redshirt. You have a love hate relationship with human beings, you find them utterly revolting and hateful due to your falsified interaction with them through the aggressive sales before casting then out yet you also need their capital. This website is not free. It is a cheap gimmick to lure people into your store do you can entrap them. It is a marketing technique nothing more, lacking any deeper meaning. It goes back to my original point you corporate types and your mindless consumers will follow whatever the current 'marketing' for your boss, GW tells you.
>>47834039
holy shit stop, your obvious bait is too stupid, it's going past hilarious, into cringey, and back to hilarious again!
you're going full circle!
>>47834047
Ah red shirt, maybe their is vestiges of humanity left is your soulless walking shel yet. Have I touched a nerve by critically analysing your life and existence? The cognitive disonnance is amazing.
>my very essence and existence is being called into question.... BAIT! BAIT! No no no! You are TROLLING.
Well red shirt, I'm not. I'm telling you how your low energy consumer driven life is. See you through the glass of your broken and run down store with 4-12 year olds playing games on your tables, or maybe you would do the decent thing and end your store... Or your life. See you around, red shit
>>47834090
the fuck even IS a red shirt?
do GW employees wear red shirts or something?
>>47834098
Yes to signify their blood libel and alliegence with the devil.
>>47834106
that's some DAMN impressive projection.
did you get a bad deal from them once? or did they touch your no-no place?
>>47834039
>>47834116
It is well known that GW stores in the UK run pedophile rings akin to those by hateful Arabs and those in west minister.
>>47834090
>>47834039
>>47834014
>>47834007
>>47833992
>>47833934
Holy shit this is hilarious.
>>47817737
It's a wordpress blog that takes maybe a day to make but it's a good start. It's pretty funny, "How to repair your chimera"
>>47834127
so the latter, then?
>>47834127
Why is being gay accepted in the UK but being an ephebophile means you're a filthy wargaming nerd?
>>47834140
You would love that wouldn't you, red shirt. But not me personally.
>>47834199
you implied it, not me.
Stop falling for obvious bait you retards.
>>47834213
>falling for
I'm entertaining him because it's hilarious
see >>47834047
>>47833934
>stop liking thing
>>47828521
This. The Horus Heresy books sucks because they treat it like a serious soap opera with super powered neurotic manchildren. It's doesn't work and it's dumb.
>>47826752
Beef Patty's okay. At least its not vegetarian.
>>47833934
>They kill fantasy
first of all, cry more, faggot. Second of all, fantasy was squished because, lo' and behold, it sold poorly. now, that probably wasn't the absolutly only reason, but gues what?
If you wanted to keep Fantasy and it's awful 500-units-to-move-at-once shtick, then maybe, just maaaybe you should've bought more shit from GW that was from the fantasy range, instead of buying it on Ebay or chinese recasters.
In the end, you only really have yourself to blame. GW's decision was right, if handled a bit blunt.
>>47834608
>GW's decision was right, if handled a bit blunt.
Not him, but killing the setting was not right.
>>47834608
>fantasy wasn't profitable!
>50000 miniatures!
>it's your fault for not buying!
Of all the memes posted in this thread, these are the worst.
>>47833791
Might be the felinids.
>>47826468
It's also nice to see some acknowledgement that the Imperial Guard is a constitutionally callous, broken, and to some extent incompetent military force. It feels like a breath of fresh air after listening to /tg/'s IG-wank for so long, yelling "MY LIFE FOR THE EMPEROR" and talking about how they'd join the Guard in an instant if they had the chance.
Yeah, sure, give your life for the Emperor. Just be aware that He values your life less than the flak jacket you're wearing.
>>47834686
fantasy was roughly 10-15% of their income. It's been increased since AoS was implemented.
>>47834608
GW is a company, and if stuff doesn't sell enough for them then it's not surprising when they can it. GW does fuck all market research however, failed to correctly recognise why fantasy wasn't selling, and now AoS is failing even more.
If they'd put half the effort they've put into AoS into addressing the problems fantasy had they'd be in much better shape. Amusingly, sales for a strategy game set in the old warhammer world look to be working wonders for improving their abysmal revenue predictions.
GW have been making some better moves recently however, and hopefully that'll continue.
>>47834752
>Felinids having grand feasts of canned catfood
That is fantastic.
>>47834865
>fantasy was roughly 10-15% of their income.
[citation needed]
>it's AoS that caused any possible increase
Surely couldn't be starter boxes and panic buys
>>47833739
Like this?
http://web.archive.org/web/20070506130417/http://medusav.uk.games-workshop.com/campaign/factions/spacemarines/spacemarines4.htm
>In response to intelligence gleaned from Inquisitor Baptiste, Captain Sicarius has petitioned Lord Mephiston of the Blood Angels to lead a rapid strike force to destroy the Ork ‘tellyporta’ in Battle Zone Verdia. The sons of Sanguinius wasted no time in prepping for an orbital drop and initiating a full-scale assault upon the location of the Ork machine. Reports are flooding in of great bloodshed and heavy fighting. Evidently, even the low intelligence of the greenskins recognises the value of this machine and have reinforced its defences. Captain Sicarius has full confidence in the warriors of Lord Mephiston and expects news of their success any day.
>>47834999
http://web.archive.org/web/20070323223221/http://medusav.uk.games-workshop.com/campaign/factions/orks/orks4.htm
>“We got some proper fightin’ in this time ladz! There’s piles of ded Humies out there all burnin’ up a treat and their fillin’ up the sky wiv black smoke which is a lot better than that zoggin’ whirly fing wiv faces in it. We had some fights wiv da Space Morons, fights wot the ladz wot fought on Armourgeddem sez was even better than the old days. And da Meks is happy playin’ wiv all da new scrap comin’ in. It’s good to be green, innit?
>Wot else… oh yeah da tellyporta. Da Humies really don’t like us nikkin’ their cities bit by bit and killin’ wots left. Ol’ Gabgrat is havin’ da time of his life breakin’ stuff and his ladz reckon he’s the Prophet o’ Gork or sumfing. There’s a lot of ’em, so I ain’t arguin’. But the Humies reckon they can take ’em, so they send in their Spaceboyz wiv their stupid coloured armour. Hundreds of ’em came outta da sky in dese big fings like metal versions of da roks wot Ghazghkull used on Armourgeddem. Zoggin’ copycats, wot’s wrong wiv a tank eh?
>Anyways each one of dese drop-fings has a mob of Humies or a Dred inside it, and da funny fing is, they aim fer Verdia, in da middle of Gabgrat’s armies! No wonder dey calls ’em Space Morons. But those red ’uns, Bleedin’ Hearts or sumfink, they know howta fight, especially da black ones. Thrukk reckons one of ’em bit out his froat and tried to drink his blud! Must be short of good beer up in orbit and ded firsty. Anyways they gave a good fight alright, blud and lumpsa flesh everywhere – soon even us greenskins woz wearin’ red. Makes yer go faster, dunnit. Maybe dat’s why some of da ladz went fer a bit of a run.
>So it’s been a good week’s fightin’, lads. Keep up da hard work and we’ll show Ghazghkull’s lot they don’t know nuffin about wreckin’ worlds!”
>>47834752
Are we even sure if felinids have feline traits?
Ratlings have jack shit in common with rats after all, I mean, could just be that they're called felinids because of higher reflexes and/or eyes better suited for the nights.
>>47835004
http://web.archive.org/web/20070325083338/http://medusav.uk.games-workshop.com/campaign/factions/orks/orks6.htm
>“OK, ladz, stop makin’ that racket and lissen up. Oi Slabrag! Shut yer trap fer a minnit!”
>Right. Here’s wot’s happenin. That big bang comin’ from the mountains wot sounded like Gork’s own shoota, that was the tellyporta explodin’. Da Humies kept comin’ and eventually some of da flyin’ ones got into da battlefortress and set it on fire. Gabgrat wasn’t too pleased and rewired da tellyporta to zap everyone in da battle all over da place, Ork or Humie. Some got zapped back here, some half inta the earth and half out, some got zapped inta da sky, some even got zapped inta each other. Wot a mess. Them red Humies didn’t like it one bit, especially da ones that found ’emselves half Ork and half Space Moron. I fink they went a bit mad, now most of Verdia’s burnin’ up. Anyway Gabgrat overdid it and the whole damn fing blew; big stinking crater there now and no more Killtrax. Da Humies fink that means they won, but the stupid zoggers don’t know we’ve got anuvver tellyporta in the hulk! Wish I cud tell ’em but Nazdreg’d have me guts onna stick.
http://web.archive.org/web/20070711163741/http://medusav.uk.games-workshop.com/campaign/factions/spacemarines/spacemarines6.htm
>Scattered reports from Battle Zone Verdia indicate that the Blood Angels have succeeded in destroying the Ork ‘tellyporta’. However, initial intelligence that only one such machine existed now appears to have been overly optimistic. Much of Verdia has been razed in the fighting and those that took part in these battles have clearly been affected by the sheer amount of bloodshed, for a strange, frenzied mania has become the hallmarks of the Blood Angels who have returned from Battle Zone Verdia.
>>47834608
>it sold poorly.
It sold poorly because all of their business decisions about it have been bad for 10 years.
>Munitorum-issue Imperial spork
>As the Guardsman is equipped to battle all enemies of man, so the spork is the capable of tackling any food.
>Can also be used as a close combat implement in extreme circumstances (not recommended).
"The Emperor's Sporks" is going to be my next IG company,
>>47833934
#99%
>>47827509
All White Dwarf needs now is omit the smug ramblings of Jervis fucking Johnson and it'll be great!
>You are undoubtedly very familiar with your lasgun, but have you ever stopped to think about what an absolute marvel the technology it is? If not, take a moment now to do that.
>…
>Welcome back. Did you conclude that the lasgun is a weapon truly worthy of your respect? If not, repeat the previous step. If you are still not reaching that conclusion, report to your regimental commissar for guidance.
>>47835254
my friend linked me to this thread and these pages, but I'm not super knowledgable about 40k.
I do, however, know a little about commissars: anything that has you reporting to them would likely result in your being executed, right? that's the assumption I was making while reading the pages, and it gave me a giggle.
"Ask your commissar if it's okay to worship a mech"
>>47818414
>I'm actually allowing myself a bit of hope
What about the constent sneacky price hike tho ? I swear that every time I check for something in their store the price went up of about 2 bucks from the last time I checked.
I remember a time when for 30 eurodollars you had 10 boyz in a trukk. Now you need to pay almost the double for the same thing.
>>47819981
lel
>>47835286
>anything that has you reporting to them would likely result in your being executed, right?
Pretty much.
>>47835353
I don't actually remember the last time they raised the price on anything. Plus, a lot of their "Start Collecting" and board game bundles are actual deals now.
>>47835413
I was just checking the CSM range lately.
Prices are in euros.
>CSM tacticals went from 30 to 31
>Helldrake went from 52 to 59
>Chaos land raider went from 55 to 60
>Chaos predator went from 40 to 46
>same for the vindicator
>Rapace went from 23 to 27
>Warpsmith went from 20 to 23
All of these in about one year.
>>47821692
>Single lens
>Picture clearly shows two
This is some jedi mindtrick levels of propaganda.
