>Be a fighter trained in the art of combat since the age of 12
>25 years old with a good name for myself as a sword for hire
>Get paired up with a couple of magic users for a missions
>A druid that mainly stays in the form of a stinking wolf
>A wizard with no understanding of the concept of right and wrong. Save the orphanage one minute, nuke the school yard the next kind of guy
>They keep throwing around amazing magic for the dumbest reasons I have ever seen
>Instead of taking five minutes to climb down a 20 foot cliff using a little bit of rope, they jump off and use magic to cushion their fall
>Instead of wading through waist deep water to cross a small river, they freeze the riven and stroll across
>Time for combat!
>They have no magic left because of their stupid use of spells to get to the fight
>The druid attempts to fight, but gets slaughtered because he attacks the biggest foe surrounded by small foes blindly
>The wizard just starts drinking wine while telling me to 'take care of this rabble.'
>20 dead goblins and 1 dead hobgoblin later
>Covered in blood, corpse of the druid laying battered across the room we fought in
>Wizard is pouring another god damned cup of tea and is requesting we sleep here
>Surrounded by gore
>Dead ally off to the side unburied
>Wizard sets up a small camp and starts reading a book
Barbarians are right to hate magic users.
>Male human fighter
>>47802007
Yeah, I always play male human (base class).
I prefer martials and lean toward fighters and paladins. I really like going full on Solomon Kane type paladin.
>male human fighter
>>47801986
>Be a wizard trained in the mysteries of the true reality since the age of 12
>35 years old with a name that no one knows because I stay in my tower
>Forced by my master to go on a mission with a pair of savages
>A druid that mainly stays in the form of a stinking wofl
>A fighter who doesn't hide his disdain for my nebbish and soft-palmed appearance
>I start throwing around amazing magic because I fucking can
>Instead of risking my frail body in an admittedly short climb, I draw on Termond's Third Aerodynamic Repulsivating De-Escalating Formulae.
>Instead of ruining my good robe and all my spell components by getting them soggy, I freeze the river with Al'Halad's Untropic Thermodynamator and walk across
>Time for combat!
>I'm only here to examine the relic at dungeon's end.
>The druid attempts to fight, but gets slaughtered because he attacks the biggest foe surrounded by small foes blindly.
>I start drinking a Paleon 1253 Pinot Noir and tell the fighter to take care of this rabble.
>20 dead goblins and 1 dead hobgoblin later
>I am untouched, corpse of the druid laying battered across the room the fighter fought in
>I am pouring myself another god damned cup of tea (a Shriven dark blend) because I'm tired and requesting we sleep here
>Surrounded by gore
>Dead ally off the side, unburied.
>I set up a small camp and start reading Mordenkainen's Erotic Explications, vol. 2.
I have no idea why the Fighter hates me.
>>47802007
>>47802032
Are you trying to force a meme? Is this what you're doing here?
>>47801986
>Be a Wolf trapped in a man's body since the age of 12
>20 years old with a few flea bites and a shaggy fur
>Form a small pack with a couple of new friends
>A man with sharp weapons
>A wizard with no understanding of the concept of natural balance
>Me and Wizard-Bro use amazing magic for any reason possible
>Instead of leaving my true form and becoming human to climb down a 20 foot cliff i jump off and use magic to cushion my fall
>Instead of wading through shoulder deep water to cross a small river, they freeze the river and stroll across
>Time for combat!
>We have no magic left because of our use of spells to get to the fight
>I attempt to fight, but get slaughtered because the enemies is simply stronger and more voracious then me
>I finally become one with nature again
>The wizard starts drinking wine while telling the fighter to 'take care of this rabble.'
>20 dead goblins and 1 dead hobgoblin later
>The fighter is covered in blood, my corpse is lying battered across the room we fought in
>The wise Wizard is pouring another cup of tea and is requesting we sleep here
>Surrounded by gore, to remember the souls of friend and foe alike who have left this mortal coil
>Dead ally off to the side unburied so his body can become with nature once again
>Wizard sets up a small camp and starts reading a book
>>47802081
>>Be a Druid, true son of Gaia and trained in the ways of balance by nature itself.
>>22 years old with a name comprised mostly of barks and growls that no one can pronounce.
>>Brave the strange and chaotic world of man in order to protect my forest joined by a pair of idiots.
>>A wizard who recklessly meddles with the fabric of the world with no heed for the damage he does to mother natures beauty.
>>A particularly dull fighter who doesnt seem to grasp the majesty of the animal form.
>>Remain mostly in my Wolf form because the weather is cold and I miss my family.
>>Ladder and rope look rickity so I transform into hawk and fly down.
>>Instead of trying to inefficiently swim as a human i transform into a Trout and am nearly frozen by deranged Wizards magic.
>>Ambushed while still in trout form.
>>Transform into human and find myself before a hobgoblin and its pals.
>>"Allies" do nothing as im assault.
>>Fight for dear life.
>>AAAAAAAAGGH-glk!!!
>>...
>>...
>>...
>>...
>>...
>>47802087
I think they are drawing parallels between the generic 'human male fighter' and the 'straight white male'
>>47801986
>male
>human
>fighter
>>47801986
But that's wrong!
Strong fighters exist to makesweet, tender lovein themissionary position for the purposes of procreationto the intelligent wizards!
>be a hobgoblin looking for a family since the age of 3
>12 years with no name but have found a place for myself
>paired with several goblins who have accepted me
>some of them stink, but I love them anyway
>they all try their best to do good and we survive as a community
>keep coming up with clever solutions to different challenges we face. Mine for salt to preserve our meats, start a small farm instead of raiding locals
>instead of constantly wading through a small river, we build a bridge over it in our cave
>time for combat!
>three strange invaders are attacking us
>in self defense we manage to kill one who was able to change into forms of our predators
>fucking psychopath sits back drinking while his dog mercilessly cuts down my family
>most of my friends are dead as the beast approaches me
>die, surrounded by gore
>corpses of my allies everywhere
>fade out of existence, happy I had a family
>>47802394
But what if both of them are male? Or both female?No procreation then, hatred ho!
>>47802563
Did you forget the part where one of them was a fucking wizard, perhaps?
>>47802580
Did you forget the part when none of them is fucking a wizard?
>>47801986
>>Be a fighter trained in the art of combat since the age of 12
A real warrior begins training when he learns to walk. No wonder wizards outclass you.
>MALE
>>47802580
Does this look like a girl to you?
>>47802607
Then it would hardly be a fighter fucking a wizard, not anything else.
And we were talking about wizards fucking fighters or vice versa. Ergo, you are an idiot.
>HUMAN
>>47802627
Alter self is a level 2 spell.
This meme is so dumb it could be from /tv/.
>FIGHTER
>>47802611
>waiting until you learn to walk to fight
if you weren't strangling snakes to death in your cot then you should probably just give up already
>>47802656
>thatoneOglafcomicwiththebarbariangirlkillingwolves.jpg
>>47802645
And why the fuck would he alter his appearance to an old man?
>>47802670
No sense of right and wrong. Duh!
>>47802611
>not learning to ride before you learn how to walk
Do you even conquer?
>>47802629
Ehm, no. Vice versa is identical in this case. Also,
>>47802692
We were talking about wizards fucking fighters and viceversa. You said that they can't procreate, which is bullshit because WIZARDS!
How much more stupid can you get?
>>47802692
Not just any dragon, but M. C. Escher's dragon.
>>47801986
>>47802081
>>47802303
>>47802483
>Be a rogue trained in the art of thievery since the age of 6
>22 years old and without a name besides "Orphan," "Begger", and "Rascal"
>Just stealing to feed myself when I happen across three adventurers
>Some rabid lunatic with an axe
>A prissy nobleman with anger issues
>And a mangy old wolf who I swear can turn into a man
>As I trail them, I see Man-wolf and nobleman conjure fire and lightnig from their hands.
>They use magic I've only dreamed about for damn near everything
>Instead of hopping down a 20 foot cliff, they use magic to glide down >The axeman just grates his forehead against the rocks descending down a rope.
>Instead of getting wet, they use magic to simply freeze the river!
>While the axeman trudges through the freezing lake in the most overdramatic manner
>The three come across a couple of goblins
>Wolfman leaps into the fray and immediately is kicked in the crotch and hacked apart
>The nobleman drinks some expensive looking wine,
>The axeman goes berserk an cleaves his way through every damn one
>20 dead goblins later, the nobleman is still drinking and asks to rest for a while.
>The axeman sulks in the corner.
>While they are asleep, I tie up the axeman, and throw his axe in the river.
>I collapse their tent, strip the nobleman of his clothing, then roll him up in the thick canvas.
>I then kick the writhing bundle down the sloped hill, sending him rolling into the river as well.
>I make it off with an entire bar's worth of expensive wine, rare ingredients, and an entire sack of gold.
People are right to not trust us rogues.
>Be a hobgoblin trained in the art of pillowbiting since the age of 12
>25 years old with good battle scars and decent thews
>Get issued a squad of 20 goblins to guard our home
>Scouts report the approach of three nongoblinoids
>A feral riding mount that smells like patchouli for some reason
>meat shield with an ego and a tude
>pasty human with a pointy hat and a flask
>unbathed wolf and hat man know magic, my goblins fail their morale check
>Time for combat!
>I put down the deranged animal so that it won't infect the stable
>hat guy consumes potion, our forces begin to panic
>meat shield makes easy work of fleeing incompetent gobbos who could barely hold an axe
>lie wounded, wondering if it's worth it to Second Wind and call for help
>Surrounded by gore
>Wolf mount's attempt to feign death fails as it has obviously polymorphed into a humanoid
>hat man concocts another fearsome potion, then opens a book and begins chanting
>i give up, curse magic users, and die testily
>>47801986
>Be charlatan trained in the art of pretending to be a wizard since, like, forever ago.
>20 years old with a well-crafted persona as a wizard with my "druid" companion (aka the stray dog I found in an alley)
>Get paired up with some backwoods savage who thinks he's country or something.
>Some brainless ape who gets mad and goes full retard every little while.
>Use Feather Fall scroll to keep from having to waste time climbing like Redneck Rampage over there.
>Wand of Ray of Frost keeps me from having to get my clothes dirty wading in shit water (unlike the guy who already smells like shit)
>Time for combat!
>I'm not going to waste my scrolls and wand charges on a bunch of goblins
>Let the idiot and the dog take care of it while I relax and have a drink
>Dog dies. Idiot gets covered in blood
>Seeing no enemies left and it being nearly sundown, I suggest we bed down
>While Angryboy carts off the corpses, I get back to the book I was reading that morning
It's been about a week and that retard still hasn't realized I'm not a wizard. I can't believe I'm actually getting away with this. Barbarians are such morons.
>>47802087
They absolutely are
>>47802611
>not strangling your brother in the womb
>not killing your mother during child birth by coming out cunt punching
>not asserting your dominance by strangling your only compitition in the nursery
It's like your not even trying
>>47803541
Shit, last your should be you're
>>47801986
>Be a GM of about 3 years or so
>24 years old, kinda overweight but a good storyteller
>Gather up some nerds to play pretend and have fun
>The guy who takes things way too seriously
>Pretty sure the druid is a furry
>The wizard is obviously going for utility, because damage wizards are no fun.
>Throw some interesting situations, at them, the wizard handles everything with magic
>Time for combat!
>The wizard obviously didn't prepare any combat spells, but I balanced this encounter for 3 people anyhow
>shit the stupid furry charged in at what was supposed to be the barbarian's target
>Wizard sitting back, rp'ing fluff because he literally has no way of contributing
>Barbarian wrecks shop
>Oh god he's killing the wizard. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I shout
>The barb playing is literally strangling the wizard player.
wat do
>>47802007
>>47802032
>>47802357
>>47802622
>>47802634
>>47802650
>samefagging
>shitposting
>retard
>>47804028
>male human fighter detected
>>47804049
>>>/tv/
>
>
/
t
v
/
>>47802580
Except that most FE mages and sages are warlocks in DnD terms?
>>47804049
>hurrdurr people can only disagree with stuff if they are upset at it
>Be slightly dogeared paperback
>slightly dogeared thriller in third printing with international readership
>Get bought from a secondhand bookstore by a neckbeard
>at a cliffhanger, neckbeard puts me away to deal with two others
>a slab of a man who does lots of whining
>a canine more capable of understanding my witty puns than the manslab
>neckbeard busy with work, but my suspense is getting to him
>Time for reading!
>Mentally captivate neckbeard like I was a teenage girl trying to play a level 3 bard
>Bitch can barely keep straight whether he's drinking tea or wine I'm so good
>Manslab wails that he never gets a turn with me and that I have no pictures
>>47803541
>Be a fighter trained in the art of combat since the age of 12
>25 years old with a good name for myself as a sword for hire
>Become great commander and leader
>Do things most men only dream of
>Finally train the Emperor's son
>He's special, as all emperors are
>I'm not special
>Some people are special and they're better than normal people like me
>That makes me sad, so I mop a whole day
>Then I decide to stab magic until it gives me special powers
>Become special
>The emperor's son has to wrekt me
>Die happy because I'm now special
>>47802007
This is the most awkward reaction image I've ever seen
It doesn't fit at all you're so weird
>>47804049
>UR FUCKING A WHITE MALE
>>47811248
FIGHTING*
>>47802645
Alter Self lasts one minute per level. Ask me how I know you don't play games.
>>47812729
Long enough for me
>>47815245
Kek'd tbqdesu senpai
