>DM starts laughing quietly to himself
>DM's head detaches from his body and begins to crawl towards you
>>47769062
>GM rolls dice behind a screen without telling you what they are for.
>>47769168
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kKXvDaJIzQ
>In shop
>DM rolls
>"Anon whats your AC"
>dm rolls an attack roll
>"uh oh. Anon, how much HP do you have again?
>DM hasn't been that enthusiastic lately
>Seems a bit distracted as you roll through combat
>You meet the baron
>GM leans forward, is now paying attention
>You miss what he said as he asks;
>"Well, what say you?"
>>47769174
I'd do that once in a while for no reason at all just to freak the party.
>>47769217
This too, except that I'd ask more paranoia-inducing questions like "what's your Will?"
>>47770206
Will is the worst, Fort is a close second.
Reflex/AC might suck but are considerably less likely to straight-up ruin.
>>47769319
>lack of enthusiasm
Help me fat guys. Please help me.
I really try to have fun, really I do. I roleplay, help the group, make relatively interesting builds where applicable, I should be enjoying P&P.
But I don't. I just can't enjoy playing a P&P game anymore - it's all stale, boring, childish, with stuttering, unimaginative GMs and edgelord players.
Am I the problem? Is it that after GMing for so long I can no longer enjoy a game unless I am in charge? I really mean these questions, I am one step away from just dropping out of a game I am playing and just abandoning P&P alltogether. It doesn't help that no one but me ever wishes to play anything but 5e and PF.
>>47770236
>"You're a gnome, right? What's the bonus you get against Illusions again?"
With penetrating damage dice.
>rolls
ow no
>rolls again
raises an eyebrow
>rolls again
>tries to pick up the dice again
you know what never mind you are dead
>"Are you sure you want to do that"
>be me , GM since day 1 of our group
>party travels through the steppe
>roll die for encounter
>hit a 10 , party is safe
>let unknowing players still roll perception
>all are damned low rolls
>"you are pretty SURE you see nothing to worry about"
>it is 4 ingame days later and they still think they are going to die
>they dont just go back to the city because they dont want to break character
>>47770249
do you play online or in person?
i got one online PF, one online 5e and one in person 5e, and i got extreme trouble getting into the onlines ones, so much so that i usually play games(i try to only play casual games like hearthstone and such during sessions, otherwise i completely shift my focus away from the online games) and it's generally just boring
but the in person games, despite being almost 9 hour sessions so is that way more fun. this is despite that the online and in person 5e sessions are DM'd by the same person
>Someone asks if they can do something
>Long extended pause while eye contact is unbroken
>"...you can..."
>>47770249
Get some friends who don't play tabletops but who are up for it.
GM them something robust and simple, like an OSR title.
Throw all the most interesting, strange and wonderful things you can find at them and enjoy their adventure with them.
Don't go on Roll20 and dredge up another bunch of dissapointments and edgelords. Anyone can enjoy P&P. Its who you play it with that really matters.
>>47770249
It is just a matter of players and yourself, they group i play with, we usually drink beer and play interesting characters, there is literally and autistic inquisitor in my group
I gave up and just started doing everything in the open. PCs started dropping like flies, but no one could complain, because you can't really argue with dice. I'm really close to start telling them what the rolls are for, just to see the looks on their faces when they realize they are proper fucked.
>Which hand are you using to open the door?
>>47770206
>after asking pass a note to the player saying "nothing happens"
>watch the world burn
>>47769062
>throws d20
>gets a 1
>"ok PC, now roll the damage"
>>47770249
stop browsing /tg/ and try to get out of the /tg/ mindset is my honest advice
>GM: But what about the ghosts?
>Players: What ghosts?!?!?
>GM: What ghosts?
>>47770249
I sort of know the feeling. I can't bear to be involved in an RPG unless I'm the GM. For me at least it's a childish loop of "I could've done that better" and godawful backseat GMing. Help me too!
>>47770249
Stop trying to have fun, think of the GM as the enemy - point out his inconsistency, exploit the plotholes, show him what a failure he is and drink his tears.
>>47771052
>Not passing a note that just says "Wince and mutter something but then pretend everything is normal"
>Not passing a note that says "Smile and nod at me, then look at Player 2."
>Not passing a note that says "In about five minutes, get up and get me a drink"
>>47771005
>You're not wearing gloves, right?
>find a closed door of interest
>no one with anything remotely resembling lockpicking art
>"GM, does that look like a challenging lock?"
>"the keyhole is pretty big and the lock itself looks like It's quite old. Doesn't seem much like a challenge. Anyone wants to try with improvised tools and dex check?"
>implying we're going to fall for that
>go back to the city
>after several in-game days, learn novice lockpicking, buy expensive tools to compensate the lack of skill
>go back, with all the smugness in the world try to lockpick the thing
>expensive tools magically melt
>lockpicker's face when
>GM avoids eye contact
>Throws dice
>DM mumbles something and frowns
>"Well that's not good"
>Party freaks out, someone asks for a perception roll
>He rolls high
>Act as if it was so close
>"Well, you don't see anything"
>Party proceeds to be paranoid for the rest of the dungeon
I've only done it once, but man it was fun when they found out there was nothing.
>>47770483
>>47770533
Yeah, I do, unfortunately, play at roll20 because all my friends live in different areas of the city and have a life, so it's difficult to schedule and they don't care that much. I've had good experiences with roll20, but only when I was GMing.
>>47771173
I don't think this is the problem. True, /tg/ often has puddles of shit in it, like all of 4chan, but it's a decent board and I've gotten a lot of good feedback and advice from here. I don't even know what the hell do you mean by "tg mindset"
>Fighting BBEG, everyone is greviously wounded but me
>Playing a barbarian with a nuclear power cell in my chest that gives me great power at great costs
>Smash the fuck out of my axe and sword
>Her (bbeg) power bubble shield is down
>Engage the berzerk mode to get + to all rolls
>"Roll to grapple"
>DM frenetically checks notes and papers
>Roll succeeds
>Roll to leap
>Leap 30 meters into the air
>Roll to suplex
>Die lands on a 20
>Suplex bbcegbbw fatally
>"That was rad anon, now for the berzerk cooldown roll"
>*gm rolls*
>slowly looks up
>"One"
>Device goes off and wipes out the entire party and the skyscrapers top floor
>>47771458
Are you telling me that you had a 5% chance of causing a nuclear explosion every time you went berserk, and you did it anyway?
>>47771990
What, you wouldn't?
Nuclear Berserker is rad as hell
>>47771990
The absolute madman.
>>47772017
>Nuclear
>'Rad'
Dohoho
>>47771407
To be honest, even if it means you only play half as many, or a quarter as many sessions, you should encourage your friends to play face to face.
Its infinitely better. I would take a once-a-month meet up and play over twice a week online games every time.
>>47771005
>I push open the door
>it doesn't open
THEN I TRY PULLING. THIS GAG IS NOT FUNNY SHUT UP
>>47771458
I'm going to steal that character concept.
Nuclear Barbarian sounds fucking hilarious, and in case of doubt to piss off the DM i can always go full Nuclearman from Superman IV
>>47772261
>I push open the door
>it doesn't open
>ok i try pulling
>it doesn't open
>i try turning the door knob
>cloclwise or counter-clockwise?
>DMing Mines of Phandelver with a group
>Going farther than anticipated one session, only skimmed what we're getting into
>In the Redbrand hide out
>Thought it would just be some easy ruffians in there, then I see the picture of the Nothic
>"Ok, you walk into a large room with a deep crag in the mid- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
>Entire party starts panicking
Surprisingly effective way to put them on edge
>enemy makes an attack against you
>DM asks to confirm your race
>he starts laughing
>>47770479
That is the future you chose when you tricked them.
>When the party enters a room and the DM rolls his shoulders and cracks his knuckles.
>>47773364
i always let them roll for perception even in safe situations. it prevents the "he asks us to roll perception , prepare to fight!"- effect
>Run Tomb of Horrors for my players
>Don't tell them it's Tomb of Horrors, enjoying delicious reactions as they descend deeper into the rabbit hole
>Decide to spice it even more
>"As you open up a door leading to another room, you find that the passage is partially blocked by what appears to be a large, metal-reinforced wooden chest
>It's literally just an empty chest
>My players collectively shit themselves and spend thirty minutes inventing methods of bypassing it without touching/opening/looking in its general direction
>>47772957
Is your BBEG Ben "Nothing but scorn for Dragonborn" Garrison?
>>47770479
"You are pretty sure" is my favorite line in GMing because when my group first started we had absolutely certain on high rolls and on low rolls others could tell the person was wrong. We moved away from that over the years so there is now never a full certainty whether the person has passed or botched. It's really fun to have that element of uncertainty.
>short pause
>"well TECHNICALLY thats possible..."
>>47769174
>Do this as the party bickers and argues as a means of hinting to the one person not involved that I am "listening"
>>47769062
Oh everything is all about you, isn't it
>>47773914
Is this good DMing or bad DMing?
>roll awareness
>"You hear music playing somewhere"
>roll again later
>"You hear %obscurecountryname% folk playing somewhere closer"
>confusion and fear grow
>>47769168
>>47769184
>nope nope nope nope nope nope
>>47774806
I do say it's good, it's harder to metagame.
>>47772767
>it's a sliding door
>>47771458
Ok, fine: but did he get the BBEG at least, with the explosion?
>>47769062
>DM starts laughing quietly to himself
The party dies because of a trap.
>GMing GURPS with a mafia setting
>2 PCs in warehouse
>describe warehouse as a room with some crates on the back wall and a door leading to what seems to be an office
>they split up between the office and searching the crates for their target.
That's when I knew my players were paranoid.
>>47774806
Bad, Perception should be rolled passively unless players are actively looking for something.
>>47770249
It probably falls on the case of what you feel is missing. I've had some uncreative GMs completely draw the story to a boring set of dungeon crawl, predictable narration and events, dungeon crawl, predictable narration and events, dungeon crawl, unpredicted forced derailment of plot for something equally uninspired, dungeon crawl, and so on. If this is the kind of situation you have, I'd suggest finding more interesting GM's or perhaps less structured ones.
On the other hand, I've had games that were pretty interesting but I just didn't like it much as it stood and seemed derpy, but was fun nonetheless.
By the sound of your 'lack of enjoying P&P' reasons, it sounds like shitty GMs and teen edgy players are the issue, to which I'd suggest either some less dungeon crawl based systems, and/or find folks who are willing to play more interesting characters instead of edgy mc cool'ness. On the GM end of things, systems that invite wackyness and/or don't support boring crawls will probably help there, while on the player end, I'd suggest perhaps something again light hearted, or simply go with super heros... and if they all pick boring edgy powerless super trained types well then you need new gaming friends. I learned this one the hard way with one group.
>>47774171
I actually did this in a campaign once. He wasn't really the bad guy but he was opposed to the party for much of the game. His crowning achievement was gassing the Dwarven leadership (and much of their city) while the party tried to break a political stalemate. Benny G was one of the few people actively aware of and keen on stopping the real evil from descending into civilization. Eventually most of the party wound up in his organization, though he was martyred flying a dragon into a horde of orcs before they reconciled.
>>47775930
Should it though? i mean there are some classes and proficiencies that are not that much of a hasstle to get, and the PC gets like 18 pasive perception, i think that ruins the fun a little bit.
>>47776410
Dunno, I dislike the active perception mechanic as a thing entirely. It eliminates all player input and creative though from the process. Why would I think to specifically look for a part of the wall that is less dusty and more discoloured or to specifically check the stuffed deer head for a secret switch if I can just say "lol I roll perception" upon entering the room?
Passive perception is nice though, but only when it comes to spotting hidden attackers or noticing an ambush or a trap.
Overall I am also not fond of it because it promotes the 3.PF mentality of spamming rolls regardless of whether one is asked for it. I don't penalise uncalled rolls at my table of course, I am not autistic, but they do make me feel moderately annoyed.
>>47776934
Doll a cute. CUTE!
>>47769062
>DM is a diagnosed sperg
>>47776987
>DM is self-diagnosed anything
>>47771990
It was a shorter, more fun-oriented session. It gets really boring otherwise, RP'ing gets very old.
>>47772744
o-okay
>>47775819
She got suplexed to death
>>47776957
You're stating the obvious breh
>>47777023
>Assuming it's self-diagnosed
>Posting an anime reaction image
>>47773914
I've spent a lot of time developing a system of drugs for my next game, both because it's appropriate to the setting (mid-late 1800s) and because I want players to be in the habit of rolling fortitude saves when they go to bars so they won't think much of it when asked to roll versus a poison.
>>47777023
I've gamed with that sort. Fucking atrocious.
>>47769168
oh I hate it when that happens
>>47769168
Is it tuesday already?
>>47776934
Yea it sucks the fun out for me too. I tend to now just give a very barebones description of what's immediately obvious in the room when they enter it. Then if they roll perception well, I may tell them, "there's a patch on the floor with a scorch mark" or "one of the tiles is slightly askew." After that, any perception rolls become meaningless as no amount of staring at a scorch mark is going to tell you if there is a trap nearby. After that it's just investigation rolls BUT only after they tell me how they investigate (poking it, throwing things at it etc)
>>47769062
>DM starts laughing quietly to himself
You have one of those locally, too? Ours is a nutbar.
>>47769062
>Make a halfway decent roll.
>DM rolls behind the screen, smirks, says "Or...you can take what the DM rolled."
>Rolls to hit whenever an enemy could attack whether they choose to or not.
>Players come out of the woods onto a road while hunting a monster.
> Bandit camp rolls to hit.
> Monster rolls to hit party
> monster rolls to hit bandits
>Entire party flips their shit.
It's better when partway through the chase you casually remind players that you get a bonus to rolls on targets that are unaware, "in case it becomes relevant".
>>47774171
>Nothing but scorn for Dragonborn
My sides have left the orbit
>>47776934
it's kind of a necessity since we sometimes have to play characters that have skills that we don't. it's not like you have to describe how to do the mordhau maneuver when you play a knight character either. some people just aren't that perceptive or inventive in real life so it's fine that their character gets at least some hints if their specific skill is high.
>4e
>GM says "in response, the monster uses it's reaction power..."
Seriously, my PCs has gotten killed by more monsters who have "after being hit redirects damage to target" than any other beastie.
>>47774149
my hat is of to you
>>47772261
"you see a massive stone door withintricate symbols on it"
"i push the door"
"it doesn't open"
"OH, HAHA, NICE GAG, GM, I'VE NEVER HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE, I GUESS I'LL PULL THEN"
"you pull the door, its hinges snap and falls over you, roll to avoid getting crushed"
"wait wha-"
i did this once, was bretty fun, it was in a room that was already full of (very simple and easily detectable traps) should've inspected the symbols
(another trap in the very same room that im proud of is having a bust with a magical necklace on the opposite side of the room, with two dart traps built into it, one coming from the side that is very obvious to the point where i just told them outright, the other just slightly less obvious so they'll have to search for it, but with a very low DC. the obvious one would only hit if you strand right infront of the bust, while the slightly more hidden one got a clear shot from this side to the door on the other side, (so the monk with the stick that didn't bother actully checking for traps still gets shot at, and if it misses, the dude who's screaming at the ceiling for not being able to push open a door get hit instead
>>47771119
>"I'm gonna roll a d4 to see who is hit by the crossbow shot"
>It's the bard
>>47771401
The best ones are when you make them roll to see if they spot a message on a wall or something and they roll like a 2. Everyone goes into commando mode.
>>47772017
>>47772065
>>47771247
Exactly! There isn't only one way to have fun!
>>47769062
>DM shoots a loaded gun in the air
Actually happened. Thanks for the immersion José.
>>47784769
Are you me?
>>47785632
yes
>>47785800
He's lying, he's______me_______
>>47781606
That's absolutely amazing. Following up each roll with "Or would you like to know what's behind door number 2?"
Would never do it, but it makes me laugh.
... so, you´re in the city of Sigil and sudenly, all the people in town start to run and hide, screaming desperately.
You see the shadow of a woman covered from head to toe with spikes and...
¡I CAST A FIREBALL AT HER!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBkuNpgACH0
>player says "I'll try X!"
>DM stares for a few seconds
>"Okay *chuckles*"
>DM will at times randomly ask players for AC, will, etc.
>players nervous because they think the DM's plotting something
>dm had traumatic brain injury 2 years ago and has trouble with short term memory recall
