>the legendary weapon that can harm the ancient evil is an axe, and all the heroes are swordfags with sizable investments in Weapon Master
>>47760994
Reforge the axe into a sword.
Where's the problem here?
>>47760994
Surprisingly, most fighters can cope with this, and most smart players didn't specialize in one weapon group.
So you play with idiots and fucked them over because you're a dickhead of a GM.
>>47760994
>get axe proficiencies
>can't make use of your axes' warhammer
>>47760994
A shame it's not a keyboard. That way, Opie the legendery anon can shitpost the ancient evil to death.
>>47760994
>Beat the enemy until it's 9/10ths dead with swords
>Deliver the coup de grace with the axe
Alternatively
>Retrain in the use of Axes, since the ancient evil isn't going anywhere in the next month
Alternatively alternatively
>Just use the fucking axe and be a bit less efficient
This is a top contender for the most retarded "quandary" I've seen on this board.
>>47760994
>it's worth a million
>>47760994
If that's a serious issue in a setting then perhaps the setting deserves to end.
>>47761057
I'm using this.
>>47761053
GURPS skill "Axe/ace"
>>47761025
Finding a blacksmith who can reforge such a weapon without destroying it's innate magical properties and dooming the works to 17/47 millenia of darkeness and pop music.
>>47760994
>I punch the GM
>>47761484
Due to your lack of proficiency and feats you both trigger an attack of opportunity and miss.
>>47760994
Thank god valor bards get proficiency in all martial weapons.
>>47760994
Well it's a good thing I'm playing Pathfinder. And have martial weapon training, so really, I'm missing out on a +1 to hit from Weapon Focus: Greatsword.
>>47761500
The GM pulls out a 3.5 rulebook and initiates a grapple. Roll to see if you can find your flowchart.
>>47761519
I switch the system to FATAL
>>47761519
I beat him with the rulebook until he remembers where he is.
Literally any human can swing an axe, it takes zero training whatsoever.
>>47761588
>axe =/= club
>>47761025
The amount of metal you need, tardmonger.
>>47761543
Pulling out the rule book uses your turn. On his turn the GM crits on his anal circumference check, doing...something.
>>47761563
The GM has DR (Books) and takes half damage. However, at this very moment, the doorbell rings. It is the pizza delivery guy. Surprised, the GM becomes flat-footed and open to a second attack.
>>47760994
>playing a system thats so in depth it requires different skills for different types of melee weapons
>>47761676
>his anus is wider than his ass, he becomes an ass singularity
>>47760994
To be fair, the legendary weapon is almost always a sword. I realized this when I played the very first Final Fantasy.
>Monk, Thief, White Mage, Black Mage
>sword
>sword
>sword
>sword
>heavy armor
>sword
>sword
>heavy armor
>sword
>STAFF
>sword
>new spell I bought doesn't work, but I got a new sword
>>47761780
I didn't realize, but that party also had the same problem OP's party did.
>>47761724
With his new supermassive butthole, achievable only with the unique mathematics employed by FATAL, the GM destroys all local reality. Matter, space, and time are all pulled into his rectum before being shat back out in a fragrant stew of proto-reality.
*checks table*
Uh, it says here you get a will save?
>>47760994
>the legendary weapon that can harm the ancient evil is a flintlock pistol, in a modern/science-future setting
>>47761780
It's pretty weird too, especially since spears and bows are the weapons of the gods.
>>47761849
>The slow bullet penetrates the shield
>>47761608
>one is a cheap and effective all purpose weapon that can split a man's skull open
>the other's an axe
>>47761849
Luckily in gurps they default at -2
>>47761780
>broken ass spells
I'm so glad I got to play a version of FF1 that wasn't broken.
>>47760994
>the legendary weapon that can harm the ancient evil is a tree's pollen, to use it you must read lewd stories to the tree about cross species orgies with hundreds or thousands of participants.
>>47763057
Wait, how does dice rolling work now?
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>47763090
As described in the pinned post, faggot.
>>47761654
Make it a short sword, or a regular sword for a baby.
>>47763090
It goes in the email field, friend.
>>How to roll dice: "dice+2d6" without the quotes in the email field rolls 2d6. "dice+5d42+23" rolls 5d42+23. "noko+dice+2d6" rolls 2d6 without showing the roll in the email field.
>>47763111
What, does it go in the name field then? Sticky still says email field, just like it was in the good old days before nipmoot fucked everything up.
>>47763150
Email field. I put it on the name field as an example.
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>47763090
>>47763150
Oh you fucking whore
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>47763111
>>47763142
>>47763150
Oh, now I get it. Just a syntax error.
>>47763196
With a natural 14 you are able to retain some semblance of corporeality in the swirling anal chaos.
Make a Strength check.
>>47761849
The ancient evil was defeated before. Naturally the weapon that did so will be ancient.
We are lucky that it's a ranged weapon. One where we don't have to change the barrel depending on the religion of who we are shooting at.
>>47763300
What was its name again?
Also
>only square bullets can harm demons
>>47760994
>axes are finesse weapons
>swordsmen are incapable of chopping wood
Wat.
>>47763606
>woodchopping axes = battle axes
You need more Matt Easton in your life, anon.
Rolled 18 + 7 (1d20 + 7)
>>47763232
>>47763673
Tough guy, eh?
With a modified 25, you reach through the currents of nascent spacetime still leaking out of the GM's hyper-ass. Straining against the flow, you watch as your arm intersects different planes of potential reality at orthogonal angles. Your hand brushes against something in the void. Something book-sized, cool to the touch.
>>47761654
Make a laminate blade so you only need to use the ax's metal on the cutting edge.
>>47760994
>team game
>only one weapon can harm the ancient evil
>>47763935
There is no "I" in team, but there are two in "ancient evil".
>>47764124
>>stealing that
>>47764143
From whom?
>>47764196
>>47764228
Oh, I get it. You meant YOU were going to steal that line. (By all means).
I thought you >implied I stole it from someone else upthread.
>>47763592
The Puckle Gun. Fired round bullets at Christians, and square bullets at Turks.
>>47763592
>only square bullets can harm demons
But only if they are spinning.
Make the players figure out how to build such a gun.
>>47764274
>forgot image
>>47764274
nope! i'm stealing it from you, friend.
>>47762979
You have to give a "lending hand" to the tree?
>normal looking sword does 6d6 damage
>rainbow colored axe that shouts "I'm a faggot" every time you use it cause 6d6 damage
>but you have proficiency in axes
>>47764284
Make gun fire square bullets akin to a musket.
Have mage cast some kind of air spell to give it the spin.
>>47764284
Easy. Square barrel that twists. Works like polygonal rifling, but for square bullets.
>>47761057
Kekked heartily
>>47760994
I played in a game once where there was something like one hand slash, one hand blunt, two handed, archery, and polearms. Our party had one hand slash, archery, and polearm skill and would basically lose levels of investment changing. GM gives us legendary weapons that were one hand blunt and two handed.
We ended up just never using them in battle. Even though the second one was the culmination of a quest line that did not specify weapon type. I used the two handed one as an improvised crossbar on a door. Game fell apart before second one ever got what little use it would generate because I had my character commit suicide for unrelated reasons relating to him being a dick.
>>47762973
Seriously, the original FF1 is fucking terrible. Half the spells don't work, half the weapons don't do what they're supposed to, Black Belt actually becomes weaker when he upgrades to Master, the game honestly has very little going for it.
>>47764549
Sounds like your GM was actively fucking you over, then, unless he gave you a hint on the existence and status of these weapons beforehand.
>>47764556
>Half the spells don't work
You mean as in they don't work because they're glitched out, or they don't work because they don't do what you expect them to do?
Any legendary weapon not HEAVILY enchanted to change form to whatever the user is most comfortable with, is not a legendary weapon worth using.
>>47763754
>>47763122
The axe is already a laminate, with runic inlays of different ores in specific relation to each other, some of which are within the heart of the axe blade. By reforging it, you ruin the magical array beyond repair.
>>47764294
Not my friend, pal.
>>47764580
>You mean as in they don't work because they're glitched out, or they don't work because they don't do what you expect them to do?
I mean the former, but considering the names of some of the spells, you could argue the latter.
LOCK, which is actually named Shape in the original Japanese and nowadays is translated as Focus, lowers the target's Evasion. It always misses in the original game.
RUB is instant death. FOG is defense boost. FADE is non-elemental damage.
Some of the buffs don't do anything at all, forget which ones. Most weapons that are supposed to have increased damage against certain monsters actually don't do this.
Flee is also busted as fuck, it's actually kinda' funny.
>>47764612
Low magic setting. Weapon took the suicide of a god to make, was used and then expected to never be needed again.
>>47764702
ask the ancient evil to fix it so we can have a proper fight
>>47764714
not your pal, bud.
>>47764764
Roll diplomacy, with a negative 5, Mr fighter. The ancient evil is still salty from waking up.
>>47761057
There's one of those as well as the legendary axe, and a legendary drum set too.
>>47765023
Is there a legendary mic or do we need to find someone with a legendary voice?
>>47765068
Anon,the legendary voice has been within you all along
>the legendary weapon is such only because of legend, the power was in the heroes all along
>>47765100
NO. FUCK YOU DUMBO. I'M NOT BUYING INTO YOUR FEATHER BULLSHIT AGAIN.
>>47760994
Its not the 'AXE' its 'THE AXE' and your party bard is supposed to rock that motherfucker to death in a metal duel!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYW177hXFE8
>>47761676
I know it's been a while, but I wanted to point out that DR (Books) would mean that it was BYPASSED by books.
>>47764580
Yeah, he was just fucking us over. All the weapons were "mysterious" and "unknown" before we actually opened box. Otherwise we might not have even bothered. He pulled a lot of passive aggressive dick moves in general. One of those people who dangles treasure in front of your face and then rips it away at last second. Over and over and over.
>>47766674
So I take it he didn't roll for them or anything like that, either? Just declared the weapons to be of the exact two types unusable by the party?
Should've called him out on his bullshit on the spot, then. Preferably via the most articulate of methods, punching him in the nose.
>>47766672
Ugh, shit. You're right. It's been a while since I played 3/3.5.
>>47761849
>>47760994
>>47763300
>Alternatively: Ancient weapon forged for an ancient hero to defeat an ancient evil was an axe.
>But fortunately, it's craftsman had enough foresight to pay the extra cash to make it a morphing weapon too so future generations who might be less proficient in axing questions could slay the ancient evil too
>Also means the ancient evil won't immediately recognize it and have a great look on their face when they realized they fell for the same thing twice.
